Chapter Text
Silence. Solicitude. Calmness.
t wasn’t often that Sonic felt such a hard craving for them; That he felt almost a need, such a need so strong it was pretty much its own being on itself, breathing on his neck, and weighing down on his back and limbs, making his every move sluggish.
Sonic was tired.
He was oh so tired, so weary to a soul-deep level he tried to not feel so commonly. He really couldn’t afford it, after all, with everybody´s hope sitting on his shoulders, and relaying on him, and looking up to him, and yet today… today was rough, to call it something.
Battling since early dawn, public appearances all around the place, people screaming, calling his name, the thick fright he could feel waving off their bodies, those damned cameras being shoved into his face in the most inopportune of the moments and all… he was used to it, it was…okay, of sorts.
Kinda.
And while he certainly could do without their critics and hawk-like stares…the truth was that he lived for the thrill, that he thrived for and with it, even! That the adrenaline and the rush of a battle, that the feeling of freefalling of a building, or the butterflies that he felt on his stomach every time a new adventure waited for him spoke almost to his soul, the fuel it needed; the action and the satisfaction of knowing he was doing his best to keep his place safe, the warm that doing a good job, that helping, saving someone always gave him, the satisfaction of a well done action, a good deed…that he was doing good, helping people he cared for and that deserved that and exactly that, his most truest best.
That knowing he was doing something to help, that he was useful in just the right way.
In making things better.
He loved it. The feeling…That warmth, or joy sometimes that just clogged his chest. The contentment or excitement of a day gone well, of a good stretch, of accomplishment. Of making a change.
It was…his normal day, at least nowadays when people got more aggressive. He was used to it, to their prying eyes, hunting demeanor, heavy gazes always stabbing him down…
It was okay, all right? He could deal with it within barely a sec. it honestly didn’t get to him so strongly, most of the time he didn’t pay it any mind, too busy to slow down for such silly things. At most, if they got annoying, he would just speed past them with a huff and rolled eyes.
Why let them get to him, when it was clearly their motivation?
And yet, everyone has got a limit.
He neared his.
He could deal with them nice and easy. It was okay, really.
What wasn’t okay was trying to manipulate him. What wasn’t right was using his name to pull people into things that really weren’t okay.
That were dangerous.
What wasn’t right was getting his ears pulled or his body touched or grabbed just because they wanted a rise out of him. To invade his personal space like he didn’t have any kind of right over it anymore. Like it didn’t exist anymore.
What wasn’t right were the set up cameras always waiting for him to mess up, or their shark-like grins as they twisted information and his words to made them bite right at him, stepping up to him, completely disregarding his limits and shining lights right into his exhausted face.
Always.
The noise.
The fakeness of it all.
The sickening heat.
The hurt on his body.
The ache of his legs.
The pain on his neck and back.
The smoke filling up his nostrils and burning all the way up.
The unsavory questions.
The objectifying looks.
It was too much, sometimes.
He ran, and ran, and ran.
It felt like ages. It felt like a torture, like if everything, the universe itself was trying to claw out his innards, skin him to see what was underneath and just step on his heart once everything was said and done.
To discard him once they had their curiosity sated. Once they realized he was just a living being, like them, and not the funny, sparky toy they seemed to take him as.
His breath was shallow, hitched. His body was sweating, and shivering with an unknown force.
Sonic was tired.
He was so tired of this shit, of this waking up earlier than the sun, of being a subject under a magnifying glass and nothing else and nothing more to everyone around him.
A tool.
For your political needs? For that popularity rise you are after? For the public´s attention? Well, apparently he was the one!
He was tired; physically, mentally, and even spiritually! His body, his soul, ached in ways he didn't know it could ache, the weight of weeks suddenly crashing into his form.
He couldn’t keep up.
He couldn’t keep on.
Oh god, he couldn’t keep on anymore!
He collapsed on his knees, and then on the soft moss covered ground with barely a sound, gasping with collapsing lungs and trying to get back the feeling on his sore body, blindly clawing at the soil, panting, pained.
Tired.
He wasn’t even sure about how much time did he spent like that…minutes, hours… He wasn’t aware. He wasn’t there, numb yet shaken to his very core.
Between something and the other, you could say he felt into a slumber, an all-encompassing lack-of-feeling, errr sensibility spreading through his body and bringing cold to his limbs.
The void sucked at his fingertips as he stared deeply at its edges, unblinking.
He only came to himself when he felt someone approaching, and he had to change his sprawling figure a little, already searching into himself for the last bit of energy in his being so he could flash a slanted smirk and wave off any concern or rude question he knew may be on his way. Careful it wouldn’t be a savage, and out of proportions affirmation about himself and his lifestyle, because, fuck. People loved doing these, accusing him of whatever type of mess they decided to spew at his face, not caring about wherever it made sense, or not.
And believe him when he says that they don’t care. Not at all.
When he opened his eyes, lies ready to roll of his tongue, startled ruby ones were everything he saw.
It was enough of a shock to had him of all persons spluttering rather unflattering in front of his boyfriend, who, thanks to Sonic´s unexpected actions, lost his footing and fell back on his bottom with a loud ``Ack!``, currently rubbing his eye with his fist as he grimaced.
“I am not quite fond of immersive special effects, hedgehog. Try to keep them to yourself?” He gritted, a disgusted expression obvious on his face.
Casual.
Completely casual.
just popping out of nowhere. Of course that was normal and totally expected.
Why was he surprised, again?
“What are you doin-what-what-uh…how… How did you find me?!” Sonic squeaked, blinking furiously and trying to stand on his still jelly like legs. That was, of course, a failure.
Damn.
He really was out of it. His brain was still trying to catch up and start running the program like usual but damn it was lagging.
The hell was going on?
How was Shadow here?
Why?
Shouldn’t he be in his house, resting?
The hedgehog in question just frowned at him, lifting the basket he held on his hand right on Sonic´s eye level, half full with things Sonic couldn’t really name, and gesturing at it with his free hand.
Oh.
Right.
In Sonic´s defense he… well. He didn’t notice it, honestly, and how was that possible was a serious question he won’t dwell on.
He totally wouldn’t think about what could have happened had it been something AND someone different. Nop.
Not today!
“I was picking up things for dinner and tomorrow breakfast, as I always do, hedgehog. Always. Do. Shouldn’t you know that by now?”
“Yeah but you don’t… you usually don’t… just how late is it?”
Where were they, even?!
Was this a dream?
Was he feverish, talking with an illusion?
Was he dying, bleeding out in some unsightly dig somewhere and this was what his mind conjured up to his passing out?
Shadow´s frown deepened, his hands, curled on the neckline of his sweater stopping with their messing, stilling in their care and sudden attention. “Have you hit your head?”
“Awww, C´mon, it’s a valid question! I…don’t look at me like that, dude. I was napping, you saw me, didn't ya? I Just-Ok, I may not know for sure, but it is not why I- You were searching for me?” His mind was a mess, the subjects he tried to focus on way too many and changing way too fast for even him to keep up. Answering just one question seemed too challenging… He did the effort on sitting up even if all his body screamed at him to not do, to just lay there and hopefully melt into the earth to disappear. Then again, Shadow might just dig him out right away, even if just to be an ass about it, so, would there even be a point?
“Should I have?” Shadow tilted his head, some curiosity on his eyes that he didn’t bother in hiding as they trailed down Sonic´s body, searchingly, before looking back at his face, arching his eye ridge. He, mercifully, did not comment on the speedster’s flinch, nor on the tense way his body was curled. “Something I should know, hedgehog?”
“No.” The word was out of his mouth before he ever really thought about it, a small shake that was everything his head could manage at the moment. Something more and he would end up puking out an empty stomach, and that was never fun. “There…there really is not, babe. Nothing to worry your pretty head about, kay?” Shifting his weight, he reached out a hand, not minding a bit the slow spreading pain on his upper muscles; actually, it was the last thing on his mind right now. How could he stop to think about the annoying sensation when all of his focus was on the hybrid in front of him, a tender smile in those lips he adored so much as Shadow rubbed his cheek against his palm, letting him cradle his face with no complain.
Damn.
He loved Shadow´s smiles.
“Up?”
“Whatever you wish.” It was habit, by this point. Shadow´s hand came up as well, holding his to keep it still just so he could twist a bit and leave a little kiss on his palm and then his knuckles, not paying mind to Sonic´s blush or the little burns or scratches littered on his skin. He didn’t comment, and didn’t ask neither.
Sonic thought he loved him a little bit more than before.
With barely a move now the both of them were standing, Shadow´s arm finding its way around Sonic´s body, steadying him while holding him close, shamelessly hugging him in all honestly, surrounding him with his heat and sweet, homey scent, as finally the hedgehog was able to plant a kiss on his beloved forehead after longs hours, days, apart.
Ah, seriously, how had the mighty fallen, that now such small time away made his heart feel tight like cord… with a little coy smile, he indulged himself in the embrace. “Sorry, I pulled you too hard.”
“…No biggie.”
Thing was…Shadow didn’t. it was him the one at fault.
How shameful was that?
The one that needed a second to find his right footing even now, as he felt his boyfriend kiss his cheekbone, and then his cheek… it was him, the supposedly renowned hero.
He didn’t feel like a hero just then. barely felt like himself.
If anything, he felt more akin to trash, to an unknown weakling that crawled out of his shell and was now in the open, disoriented and lost. He felt weary, and unsteady. His legs didn’t want to work, and his boyfriend felt so lulling under him, right beneath his chin… so calm, and warm, and inviting.
So real. So alive.
Safe, maybe.
They just waited, then… as for what? Shadow wasn’t sure, and he didn’t think Sonic knew it, either, but they did, just breathing in, holding each other as the azure leaned more and more on him, bit by bit...until suddenly they weren’t, each taking a step back in synchrony.
Sonic stretched, gaze on the far away trees, knowing better than to offer a hand.
Shadow carefully crouched, setting his basket in the ground so he could pick up the knick-knacks that fell off.
A bared peach hand was firmly perched on a dark shoulder, though, and a gloved one rested on top of it, quietly.
Neither talked for a while, content just as they were. Comfortable.
It really wasn’t something to scoff at in their lifestyles. Those moments were from the most treasured, the scarcest.
However, the sun was starting to go down, and the skies were darkening with quite the speed, suspicious raising in Shadow´s stomach as he eyed the gloomy clouds he could see.
They needed to move.
Straightening up once more, Shadow took Sonic´s hand off his shoulder, holding it to his lips so a small tender kiss could be laid on the [Wounded. Sonic is wounded, his mind screamed. ] appendage, softly lowering it and letting it go, despite his lover´s pout and confusion.
A small flicker towards the rain clouds ahead of them, and Sonic eyes cleared slightly in understanding. Good.
He started to walk away, calm, slowly, studying the plush greenery around him with scientific dedication, stopping from time to time to sniff at a few, or rub a single leaf between his fingers, sometimes taking a few and setting them inside his basket, sometimes taking the time to scribble down a few words after looking around.
If Sonic noticed or doubted his slow pace, he didn’t say something, focused in the ground at his feet, making sure the rain was still far, and trying to keep up with the ebony already slow steps.
If he noticed Shadow´s lingering glances, he ignored them.
Shadow was okay with silence.
“I take it I was close to the house, then?”
But…maybe Sonic was not. Part of him was growing restless, and he kind of half hoped his boyfriend would suddenly propose to help him Chaos control away.
Usually he would say no. He knew that. Even when tired, or slightly wounded, Every time Shadow proposed, Sonic said no.
Running, hell, even walking, it always gave him a rush. Life. Energy.
He was so tired though. He almost didn’t want to think of it at all…
Would it be too out of character if he asked for it?
“You would be quite right, dear.” A silence. Ruby eyes snapped to his left, getting lost in the deep mess of foliage. His words were also lost, apparently. Sonic could almost see the gears on his brain working overtime. He started tugging at his sweater again. “I take it you weren’t planning on coming home?”
Home…
Well. It was curious that from all the places he could have ended in, he so casually found himself that close to Shadow´s house.
To home.
Yeah. He liked that word. It was especially lovely coming out of Shadow´s lips. It was especially lovely knowing that the dark hero saw him as part of that home even with his sporadic presence.
“How could I not, Hn?! Wouldn’t have missed it for nothin´!” He assured, and this time the smile that grazed his lips came easily to him. It came with life, and love, and Shadow didn’t have any kind of shame at the way he marveled at it, before a small yet equally heartfelt smile formed on himself.
I adore you, it seemed to say. Thank you, it seemed to scream.
The dark hero looked away for a moment, bottom lip softly held between his teeth. He was happy. Sonic could tell. He was so happy and the only thing they did was smile at each other.
How simple, wasn’t it? Sometimes he felt like pleasing Shadow was too easy…
Sonic wasn’t happy. He didn’t think he was. But it was an improvement, that was for sure. Like calm was finally edging into his consciousness, closing, and closing in. on his reach.
It didn’t seem so imposing, anymore.
It was a good feeling.
In a way, he was happy to had it. He was happy to have Shadow with him.
He still felt tired. But it was okay.
Once home he was going to rest. And then maybe he wouldn’t feel so bad afterward.
It was going to be okay.