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Much later, Thor would admit that at first it was worth almost everything, just to see the look on his brother's face.
He knew he wore exactly the same expression, of course, but that didn't matter, because he could not see his own face, and the sight of Loki completely stunned was so wonderfully, hilariously unprecedented.
It would not have been nearly so funny if Odin had not, for once, decided to make the proclamation privately. Thor sensed his mother's hand in that: it would be just like Odin to make the announcement from the highest rooftop and then be astonished and angry when someone reacted in a way best done in private.
As it was, Thor was cushioned from the worst of the initial shock by the side-splitting sight of his brother's mouth dropping open, his eyes going wide and blank, and then his silver tongue, unfettered for once, blurting out,
"You want us to do what?"
~oOo~
The rest of the interview was not nearly so amusing, quickly degenerating into a tearful shouting match between Loki and their father (tearful, that is, on Loki's side, Father as usual merely looked confused and aggravated that someone else had a different view than he.) Frigga stood to once side looking shocked, and distressed, and also like Father was going to hear about this later. Thor tried at first to take Loki by the shoulders, to comfort him, but Loki shook him off with a violence not borne out by the expression of stunned misery that had replaced the shock. He was as much grief-stricken as angry, and there was nothing funny about that at all.
By the time Odin cut them short and stalked out of the room-- with Frigga in his wake, and Thor was not sure whether he was sorry or relieved not to be able to hear that conversation-- Loki was distraught enough not to push Thor away again. Thor steered his brother swiftly through the palace corridors and back to his own rooms. It seemed the best of the available options: neither was in any condition to be out in public, and if they went to Thor's rooms they would only end up drunk. If they went to Loki's they would probably end by exploding something. Probably something big.
Thor called a servant to bring them ale-- a lot of ale-- and, since his brother was in no condition to be seen by anyone, stashed him in the bedchamber when the drink was delivered to the outer room. He filled two tankards from the first pitcher and put his head through the doorway. Loki was nowhere in sight.
"Loki?" Thor called gently. "Brother?"
"I'm not your brother," came a miserable little mutter from the far side of the bed. Thor walked around it to find Loki sitting on the floor, knees drawn up and arms wrapped around them as if trying to keep himself from literally flying to pieces.
Thor sat down beside him, pressed a tankard into Loki's hand. "Of course you are," he replied quietly.
Loki released his knees and let himself sit cross-legged on the floor, leaning back against the bed. Thor very cautiously let out a breath of relief at the change in posture, far more like the brother he was used to than that hunched, self-protective one. Thor himself stretched his legs out before him so his feet were pressed against the wall-- he was nothing like as flexible as his lean and deadly younger brother.
Brother. His brother.
"How could he have-- how could he?" Loki asked, the question clearly rhetorical now, the same question he had shouted at Odin, over and over, to no avail. How could you? How could you--
-- lie to me?
-- lie to everyone?
-- call me your son?
Thor could find nothing to say, so he occupied his mouth in sipping from his tankard. Then he slung an arm around Loki's shoulders. Loki attempted to push him away, but Thor exerted both his greater strength and his big-brother privileges, and held on until Loki stopped wriggling. When he felt Loki lean into him, Thor loosened his grip but did not take his arm away. Instead, he bent it at the elbow so he could bring his hand up to rest on Loki's head.
"How could he?" Loki repeated, and drank some ale. Then Thor felt him turn his head slightly. "And to you, too?" Thor shrugged. "Really, broth-- Thor. I am not the only one who should be shocked and angry. He did this to you, too, foisted me off upon you as-- "
"Loki-- brother. Stop." Thor pulled his younger brother close, turned his head so his lips were nearly in contact with Loki's hair. "We will speak of this, but do not tell me what I am feeling, or what has been done to me." Really, he thought somewhere in the back of his mind, he sounded like Mother. If he kept trying to say what Mother would, they might get through this.
"Then of what shall we speak?" Loki retorted, his voice sulky. Thor was not fooled by the tone: that was Loki when he was frightened and helpless and heartbroken, trying to pretend he was none of those things, trying to protect himself.
"Let us speak of what Father told us," Thor suggested. "You can be angry. I am angry too, but not because of what-- of who -- you are."
"A Jotun? Son of Laufey?" Loki nearly shouted, far too close to Thor's eardrum. "A monster?"
"Not a monster," Thor said sharply. "We are not children, telling stories to frighten one another. We fought a war, and they were the enemy, but the war ended long ago. Have we ever been taught to think and speak thus?"
"… no," Loki muttered, to the bottom of his tankard. And it was true: their father and mother had been careful indeed, to teach them to think of the Jotun as a proud and worthy people, whatever the political situation that had led to the war. Neither Loki nor Thor had ever been allowed to refer to them as monsters, or even as "the enemy." Thor had always assumed their father was training them against the day one of them-- they both knew it would be Thor-- took the throne, so the new king and his right hand would not be poisoned by childish prejudices and stories against any of the people of the Nine Realms.
Odin's reasons for taking such care were more than evident now.
"Well, then," Thor said, trying to sound matter-of-fact and reasonable. "You are still my brother."
Loki raised a tear-streaked face. "How can you be so calm?"
"I don't know. Perhaps it is not my turn." For once. For once, it was for Loki to rant and rave and to be emotional. "I was there, you know, while you and Father shouted at one another. I heard it, too. And… I had time to think, while you two were at it. You have always been my brother, Loki. You always will be. This changes nothing." Loki's eyes were doubtful, but Thor could see him wanting to believe. "If our positions were reversed, brother, you would feel the same." It was never a wise bet, to tell Loki son of Odin what he would think in this circumstance or that, but Thor knew this time he spoke the truth: had Loki been the natural son, and Thor the foundling, Loki would still be his brother.
They sat in silence for a moment, and then Loki wrapped his arms around himself again. "He called me his son, always. And now we see, he saw me as nothing of the kind."
"He saw you as his son-in-law," Thor said, without thinking. Loki's body went rigid beside him. Thor held his breath, cursing himself, as he felt his brother begin to tremble.
And then he realized Loki was laughing. Giggling, perhaps. Near hysterics, certainly. "Does that m-m-mean you would be the b-b-bride?"
Thor shook his brother gently, fighting down his own laughter. "Do not be ridiculous."
"Because the seamstresses of Asgard are very c-clever. I am sure they could sew you a gown that would make the most of your broad sh-houlders," Loki practically hiccupped. "Although you must ask them to make the neckline high, because your chest hair, brother, would not flatter-- "
Thor was quite aware his brother should not speak like this, it was insulting to those of Asgard whose affections were toward those of the same kind, a prince should not make this sort of joke…
And then Loki cast an illusion, of Thor in a beautiful white gown, wearing a veil, Mjolnir decorated with ribbons and posies, and the next thing Thor knew both tankards were spilled on the floor, and he was clutching his little brother, and both of them were laughing until the tears streamed down their faces.
~oOo~
"Do you wish to speak to Sigyn?" Thor suggested, much later. Loki's face went stiff and guarded, as Thor knew it would. Sigyn was, of course, another reason Odin's declaration had come as such a shock. Thor was confident her heart was true and she would not turn away from Loki because of his ancestry, but the fact she and Loki were as good as pledged made Odin's actions even more bewildering. Why would he even suggest what he had, knowing Loki's heart was already spoken for? Why would he have permitted the attachment to exist, with such plans as he had made?
Why had he never spoken of this?
Thor was not revolted by his brother's ancestry. He was not, was not, was not. True, the fact Loki looked Aesir, seemed unable to summon a Jotun form-- he had tried, with the increasingly-frustrated gestures of a man trying to light a fire with wet tinder, though perhaps it was the drink that affected him-- the fact Thor had not seen his brother as a Jotun made it, perhaps, easier to convince himself he was not bothered. By the time it happened, for presumably one day it would, surely Thor would be so used to the idea that he would regard Loki with placid affection and perhaps offer some joking comment on the particular blue of his complexion?
It was to be hoped for, and in the meantime Thor was shocked and surprised but not revolted.
Not about that, anyway.
The second part of Father's plan, however…
"You, Thor, will be King. And for you I have chosen a consort, one who will bear a child to join Asgard and Jotunheim in a new era of peace."
That, frankly, had been bad enough: Thor was in no way finished with sowing his own wild oats, nor had he any thoughts of marriage at this time. There were, of course, kings-- husbands-- who did not allow their marriages to end their adventures in the bedchamber. Thor had no intention of being that sort of man. When he married, he would marry.
Thor was also a practical prince, and understood he might indeed be compelled to wed for the benefit of Asgard, but not any time soon. He had a vague image in his mind of, one day, being informed of Asgard's choice, but he had fully intended that, when the day came, he would take it upon himself to pay court to the lady-- Thor also found pleasure in male bodies, but for practical reasons related to the requirement for an heir, he always assumed his future consort would indeed be a woman-- would make her his friend and companion first, so the resulting wedding would be a cause for happiness for them as well as for their realms.
He had confided all this to Loki, once, and his brother had given him a strange look, then remarked, "I had no idea you were such a romantic."
It had not seemed romantic to Thor, not silly at all. He would be king because he had no choice in the matter. That did not mean he would be a bad king or a resentful one. He could be a husband the same way.
But not to his brother.
"I brought the child from Jotunheim, and raised him as my own. The Jotun may bear children as well as sire them-- "
Thor had not realized Father was speaking of Loki until his brother began to scream at him.
"He spoke of me bearing a child," Loki said now, and he sounded confused and frightened. "Do you-- do you think I even can?"
"Well, you bore Sleipnir," Thor pointed out, a little muzzily, gesturing with the tankard he had refilled. And refilled. And refilled, if he remembered correctly.
"Yes, while I was in the form of a mare," Loki snapped half-heartedly. "A form I kept for more than a year, until the foal was born and properly raised. I have no intention of taking a female form for the rest of my life, or even for long stretches of it."
"According to Father, you would not have to," Thor reminded him, and then at the expression on Loki's face added hastily, "In theory! I have no desire to test it!" But curiosity got the better of him, because if Loki were Aesir and a woman, he would certainly be of childbearing age. "Do you never feel... anything?"
"Nothing that makes me think I could-- " Loki broke off, blushing harder than Thor had seen in years. "Sigyn and I are careful that she does not... but it never occurred to us that I..."
"Well," Thor said practically, "perhaps you simply cannot be got with child by a woman." And then he drank deeply again, because truly, he had no desire whatsoever to think about his little brother like that. It was nearly as revolting an idea as imagining his parents...
But, if that was indeed the case, Loki should be safe: unlike himself, as far as Thor knew his brother was exclusively interested in women. Woman. Sigyn. Loki was a little strange, always wary of his heart, and did not make friends easily. His attachment to Sigyn, with her bright brown curls and the freckles on her nose, was one of quiet intensity, not taken lightly on either side but especially not his.
As far as Thor knew-- and he knew Loki better than anyone-- his brother was deeply attached to only two people: Sigyn, and himself. These bonds were of equal intensity, but totally different in kind. And their father thought to dismiss the one, and irrevocably damage the other?
Thor thought about that and his heart hardened. What had Father been thinking, to try to force them-- to force Loki-- into a thing like this?
Loki had drunk too much as well: his guard was down and the expression of misery was back.
"We will not have a choice," he said quietly. "We never have a choice."
Thor thumped him on the shoulder. "Of course we do. Don't give up on me now, brother. We simply need to think." Loki blinked at him. Thor also blinked, tried to think, and found his head empty. "But first we should sleep," he decided. He crawled off the floor and without ceremony onto the bed.
As he drifted into sleep, he felt the bed dip as Loki joined him.
~oOo~
The Allfather would have been annoyed, had he seen the supposedly betrothed couple the next morning: both still fully clothed, Thor hanging halfway off one side of the bed, Loki curled into a ball on the other, exactly the way they used to sleep when they were children and one had had a nightmare or a ghost story to share.
They dragged themselves into wakefulness, and then Thor dragged them both into the library.
"Do you even know where the library is?" Loki demanded, as he attempted to pull his arm free of Thor's iron grip.
"Of course I do," Thor replied. "It is a quiet place, dimly lit in the corners. The perfect place to sleep off a hangover. I am a frequent visitor. Sadly, however, I find my knowledge of the collection is not as complete as it should be, and that is where you come in. Well, that and the fact that you are equally as concerned in this matter as I am."
"To say the least," Loki grumbled.
Three hours later, having read every work on Jotunheim they could find, Thor was more dubious than ever of Odin's plan. Aside from the natural feelings of revulsion both brothers were experiencing, the practicality of the scheme was seriously in doubt.
"So," Thor summarized, when his pounding head forced him to take a break, "as far as we can tell, the Jotun may have a variety of gifts, from magic accompanied by shapeshifting, to the ability to summon ice in various shapes, to the ability to both sire or carry children. But not all of them have any of these characteristics, and there is no record of any having all, or even more than one, of them."
"And since I am a shapeshifter who bears magic…" Loki prompted.
"There is considerable reason to believe the gift of childbearing is not also yours," Thor finished.
"I would not call it exactly a gift," Loki said.
"Under other circumstances you might," Thor pointed out. "Under these, justifiably, no." He rubbed his head. "That is only one of the practicalities Father seems to have completely ignored. Are you hungry, brother? I feel I could eat."
"As long as I never drink again," Loki replied fervently.
The brothers once again took refuge in Thor's chambers. It occurred to Thor, and he hoped it would not to Loki, the fact the two brothers had been closeted together since leaving their father's presence was, perhaps, open to some misunderstanding.
A direct observer, on the other hand, would have had no difficulty in determining the decidedly unromantic nature of the brothers' relationship: Thor stayed on one side of the outer chamber, sprawled in his favourite armchair, tossing out ideas, while Loki sat at the admittedly underutilized desk, clarifying and arguing back, and making use of Thor's also underutilized writing materials to take notes on the situation. The plates containing the remnants of their picked-over meals were stacked near the doorway.
Odin nearly tripped over them when he pushed the door open and walked in unannounced.
"Father," exclaimed Thor, bolting to his feet. Loki, who had been facing the other way, dropped his pen and scrambled from his chair, bowing his head in respect to their father, and possibly also to conceal his expression of commingled terror and resentment.
"My sons," Odin replied. "Our interview last evening ended badly. I would speak with you."
If he did not act like a king now, Thor decided, he would never deserve the name.
"As would I," he said boldly. "Indeed, Father, I would ask that you listen to me for a few moments." Odin hesitated, and Thor insisted, "If you respect me enough to trust me with your throne, you must respect me enough to lend me your ears."
From the corner of his eye, Thor could see Loki turn his head slightly toward him, perhaps startled-- surely not by Thor's directness, since that was all Thor knew, but by the wording of the appeal, which was considerably more measured and subtle than Thor's usual manner.
Odin sighed. "Very well."
Thor took a moment to marshal his thoughts. "From our earliest days, Father, Loki and I have known our lives are pledged to the service of Asgard: I to be king, and he to be my closest advisor, my vizier. This we have accepted. Too, I have known my eventual marriage would surely be for the benefit of Asgard more than myself. This I have also accepted.
"But. The marriage you proposed last evening, Father, would not benefit anyone, not my brother nor myself, and certainly not Asgard." Odin opened his mouth and Thor, astonished and a little frightened at his own temerity, raised a hand. "No, please let me finish. This marriage will not take place. Loki is my brother, raised as my brother, and he will never be anything other. Not more, and certainly not less. Had you given him in trust to some other family, raised us to consider ourselves betrothed, that would have been one thing." In that case, Thor added mentally, the only barrier would have been the fact Loki was entirely disinclined toward marriage to another man. "However, the bond we have is that of brothers, and I absolutely refuse to force my brother into a situation hurtful to him and hateful to both of us."
Odin's face had begun to turn red. Thor swallowed his own apprehension and hurried on:
"That is the first thing I needed to say. But you must also consider the plan itself. Father, there is no way this could work. It simply does not make sense." Again from the corner of his eye, Thor saw Loki flinch. Odin made a rumbling noise and Thor talked faster. "Loki is a foundling. You say he was abandoned in the Jotun temple. Very well, if that is the case, the Jotun did not want him, think him dead, and Laufey has named another heir.
"Perhaps, Father, there was a misunderstanding: perhaps he was not actually abandoned at all, but was put there somehow for safekeeping or left behind by accident. If that is the case, the Jotun did want him-- but they now think him dead, and Laufey has named another heir.
"If we marry, and proclaim as my consort the lost heir of Laufey? Loki, who was raised a good son of Asgard, and wed to the Aesir king, and has not set foot on Jotunheim since before he could toddle? Will the Jotun really abandon their own planned succession in Loki's favour? If he was discarded, he will be seen as an unwanted pretender, and the Jotun will declare war. If he was lost, Asgard will be seen as a robber of infants, and the Jotun will declare war.
"And in either case, or if they simply believe this to be a trick, Laufey or his heir, or possibly both, will certainly seek to get rid of the problem by assassinating Loki." Thor was looking very carefully at his father as he spoke, and he hoped Loki was too, because as he described the most practical and obvious way for the Jotun to solve their problem, he could see Odin wince.
Now that he was sure he had an advantage, Thor was ruthless in pressing it:
"The Jotun will never accept Asgard choosing their ruler for them, or forcing them to acknowledge any ties or obligation to some pretender raised by and loyal to Asgard. They are, as you have always taught us, a proud people worthy of our respect." Which, Thor amended mentally, could be more usefully demonstrated than it was at the moment, but that was a problem for the future. For now, he merely pointed out, "You have always taught us that the first rule of diplomacy is to ensure that both parties gain something. Otherwise, no lasting agreement can ever be made without force. The marriage you propose offers no gains to Jotunheim. Therefore, this marriage offers no gains for Asgard. And from the point of view of the future king, it would involve coercion upon Loki that could only be damaging to him and to the love between us, and therefore cost Asgard his ability to carry out the duties of vizier, for which he has always been trained, which he wants to carry out, and to which no one could be better suited.
"We have discussed the matter, my brother and I, and we agree that a peaceful connection with Jotunheim, an alliance, needs to be brought about. As king, I will seek to establish ties. If we determine it is safe to do so, Loki may be revealed as Jotun, a foundling of unknown heritage. He could then serve as ambassador, one whose interest lies in furthering the goals of both realms, though primarily Asgard.
"And it may be that a marriage will one day be arranged, to form closer ties between realms and cement the peace. I am willing to explore that idea, if it seems reasonable. But in order to work, the Jotun would have to be equally involved, equal partners in any treaty marriage."
Odin no longer looked inclined to interrupt. Thor hesitated a moment, nearly second-guessed himself-- and then loosed the final dart in his quiver:
"No one will think you a bad king, Father, for showing mercy to a child."
Odin's gaze sharpened, and Loki frankly jerked his head up. Thor repeated,
"It does not make you a bad king, to find a child-- lost or left or abandoned-- and protect him, and find it in your heart to love him. You do not need to excuse yourself, or make up elaborate schemes to justify it. For that, Father, is what I believe you have been doing: you feared someone would one day find out about Loki, where Loki came from, and you have made up an excuse that allowed you to forestall that accusation, to disclaim sentiment and put Asgard first.
"You have always put Asgard first. The actions of a king, in taking in the child of an enemy, in showing him mercy, in growing to love him-- that demonstrates the strength to be merciful, which is no bad thing for the realm. There is no need for that act of love to be turned into anything else."
Thor ran out of words. Loki, once again looking at him out of the corners of his eyes, had none either.
Odin considered his elder son in silence for a moment. Finally, he said,
"I had thought one day you would be a fine king. It seems that day will come sooner than even I had imagined."
Thor breathed.
~oOo~
Loki had claimed he would never drink again, but late that night, after the meeting that had included Mother, after several hours closeted with Sigyn explaining matters-- he emerged rumpled enough Thor suspected the revelation of his heritage had not precisely made Loki repulsive in her eyes-- after time spent outlining the ceremony of the coronation and the new governing structure…
After all that, the brothers found themselves in Thor's rooms, again, with a pitcher of ale, again. This time, at least, they had food as well as ale, to coat the stomach.
Loki, with an expression of sincerity that normally meant he was absolutely not to be trusted, but which in this case was perfectly genuine, raised his tankard.
"To my soon-to-be king, and your future consort. Long life to you both."
Thor raised his own drink in reply: "To my good right hand, my silver-tongued adviser."
Loki laughed. "After your performance earlier today, brother, I confess you have less need of my silver tongue than I ever suspected. That was most admirable."
Thor preened a little, then admitted, "Well, we certainly worked well together, to find the arguments I marshaled. Surely that speaks well for the future."
"Indeed," Loki agreed. He sipped from his tankard, and then said rather glumly, "I am, however, left with one regret."
Thor raised his eyebrows. "Which is-- ?"
Loki grinned. "It is a shame to think, we shall never get to see you in that gown."
Thor threw a bread roll at him.