Work Text:
‘Hyung’s shoulders are so wide, they make me feel safe.’
It’s as true today as it was the first day Jungkook remembers having the thought, the day he first uttered it. There’s something about tucking himself in behind Seokjin, his arms wiggling their way around his tiny waist and his chin coming to rest on this little part of said shoulders...it’s not obvious but it feels like there’s a tiny dimple there just for Jungkook. There’s something that’s always felt safe.
Maybe it started as the sheer size. Maybe it was some sort of base instinct that when Jungkook as a teenager felt particularly small and in need of protecting that he gravitated towards the biggest thing he could find in the vicinity. He thinks gorillas would probably do it. Find the one member of the pack that’s biggest to hide behind. And Seokjin’s shoulders are particularly big. They’re massive, they’re the sort of shoulders that people write about as an eighth wonder of the world.
So it could be that.
But he thinks it probably came from the warmth he felt inside too. Seokjin was all warmth back then. The guy who wasn’t cool like some of his other hyungs, but was someone who gave a lot to Jungkook. His time. His attention. His food. His money. His funny laugh even when Jungkook knew he was just being goofy and not particularly funny, Seokjin was still there laughing as if his jokes were actually funny. Seokjin himself began to bloom a little more too, tell some more jokes and they were actually funny enough to make Jungkook honk with the sort of laughter nobody expected him with his great shyness to come out with. Seokjin was warmth.
What it doesn’t entirely explain is how as he began to grow, being tucked in behind Seokjin’s shoulders still felt so good.
If Jungkook is being entirely honest, and he really tries to avoid it as much as possible out of sheer embarrassment, there was a phase where he’s 90% sure the reason it felt so good was because his brain was permanently switched onto horny mode and a nice warm body pressed tight to his did things to him. He didn’t get a lot of those, bodies, because you know, reasons. Work didn’t exactly allow for too much experience so teenage horny Jungkook’s brain took it’s thrills from what it could. If that was wide shoulders, a neat little butt and a man who would let him wrangle him around using his new found muscles – Well. These things happen.
There was always a bit of Jungkook that preened at how much his muscles had grown. Getting to show them off, getting to exercise a bit of his strength felt like something was glowing inside of him. He now gets a lot of that sort of glow from boxing or heading to lift weights, but before he had himself figured out, he has to admit – hauling Seokjin around felt good. Getting a raise out of him felt good. The attention also, made him preen happily.
What that doesn’t entirely explain is why being tucked in behind Seokjin’s shoulders progressed to not just feeling safe and good, making Jungkook glow inside, but started to just feel right.
Like right now, surrounded by the rest of the group, their producers, several cameras that are always there, a whole pack of other staff out to help them...Jungkook has somewhat just slid himself behind Seokjin, this time gone for his arms all the way around his Hyungs’ too, squishing him in and then – with a sort of relief, flopped himself into that dimple he loves so much that’s been there since day one, since Seokjin felt like safety.
Jimin sends him a side eye.
Jungkook sends him one back just because.
Nobody else has even reacted to it, because honestly even Jungkook can’t remember having a thought process about it, he was simply one minute stood over next to Jimin and the next he’s settled so nicely where he is. It feels right. Standing where he was hadn’t felt right, but now he’s got himself into Seokjin’s personal space there’s an itch that’s settled throughout his body.
Natural.
It’s absolutely natural and second nature by now. Seokjin hasn’t moved in the slightest –
At least, that’s what he’d like everyone to think as he blinks for the millionth time against his contact lenses, still nodding his head as he diligently listens to everyone’s feedback. Seokjin would make everyone believe that he doesn’t pay any mind to Jungkook being Jungkook. He looks like he hasn’t reacted at all, but Jungkook can feel the way an invisible string of tension starts to loosen up. It’s in the little soft exhale that Seokjin does, ever so slightly more pronounced than the rest of his breathing. So Jungkook squeezes his arms around him further. Sometimes he feels it in the way Seokjin’s shoulders slightly sag. Sometimes it’s how his hands come to settle around Jungkooks. Sometimes he tilts his head back a little and Jungkook gives his neck a little rub because that’s what that means. It’s the open invitation to touch just a little bit more.
It feels right.
Sometimes, and this is Jungkook’s absolute favourite of them all, sometimes he catches the way Seokjin’s lips part and curl into a smile so tiny that nobody else notices and it’s like he’s not reacted but he’s reacted enough just for Jungkook and those are the times that Jungkook thinks he might just burst with how good and right it feels.
Needless to say. Jungkook is aware by now, at the grand age of twenty four, that part of the explanation as to why it feels so good and right is because he is one hundred percent gone for Kim Seokjin. That’s why Jimin side eyes him because he’s trying to say, ‘could you be any more obvious’, to which Jungkook’s brain is shooting back that he absolutely could be and don’t challenge him because he’s two seconds away from wanting to nibble a deliciously pink earlobe.
He rubs his thumb on Seokjin’s waist instead.
Seokjin to the human eye doesn’t react but he leans his weight to that side and into Jungkook’s hand. Jungkook, who is also listening diligently to all the feedback, still finds a small part of his brain humming happily at the motion. There’s always a part of his brain, if he’s honest, that isn’t entirely in the room and is thinking about something else, and he’s happy if it’s focused on Seokjin and not other things that could overwhelm him.
What all of these things don’t show to the outside eye, Jungkook likes to keep hidden close to his chest. Almost as close as he likes to hold Seokjin. It’s that somewhere along the line he thinks that it isn’t so much that he feels safe that’s the draw. He thinks the real appeal now, the reason he’s drawn to Seokjin like he’s attached at the hip – and it’s a leap of the imagination he wouldn’t have dared to dream about in his younger days –
Jungkook thinks that his back hugs might make Seokjin feel safe too.
He thinks the reason they feel so right isn’t actually anything to do with him and the fact that he enjoys them. It’s the way that Seokjin all but melts into them.
He thinks by now the reason he finds his hands itching to rub around his neck, or his body craving to get close is that he’s got so in tune to his hyung that he can read all the signs that other people aren’t seeing. The way he shifts his weight when he’s nervous, the way his arms fold over his chest defensively. And like the gorilla of old who sort out protection from all that is scary in the world from those wide shoulders and kind smiles, Jungkook has an inbuilt urge now to protect those who have always protected him.
When he looks back he wonders now in part, if the reason Seokjin’s protection always felt so good was because it was from someone who completely understood how the world can make you feel small sometimes. They share it, a quietness and a hesitancy around new situations and new people – and Jungkook now just wants to protect Seokjin from feeling that way. Wants to say without actually having to say it, that he’s always got him.
It’s his secret though. When someone says with a laughing tone that he’s being Seokjin’s baby, he smiles brightly and doesn’t like to correct them. It’s true, Jungkook is Seokjin’s baby but nobody else needs to know that being a baby is two way street and that Seokjin is most definitely Jungkook’s baby too and enjoys being looked after just as much.
The warm hum in the background of his body and his mind carries on even when the meeting draws to a close, everyone bowing their thanks for today’s hard work – Jungkook does so at the same time as Seokjin so he doesn’t have to let go of him – and starts to disperse. Seokjin starts to wriggle his way out of the stronghold and Jungkook starts to grin. He recognises this signal as well. Sometimes Seokjin quietly slides himself out of the hold and those are the times that Jungkook lets him go.
But that’s a wriggle. Jungkook knows that a wriggle is an invitation to something else entirely.
“No, no.”
He leans in, voice low and amused against Seokjin’s ears which are starting to light up from being caught out. Or maybe from something else.
“Yah!”
There’s a flail of limbs and an even bigger wriggle. But there’s also eyes that glance backwards and twinkle with a hint of mischief. It says pay attention to me? So Jungkook obviously doesn’t let go, instead doubling his efforts by grabbing hold of Seokjin’s wrists and proceeding to frog march him around the studio whilst Seokjin starts to complain loudly about how he just wanted to go home, he’s not even allowed to go home without being bullied! He makes some half hearted attempts at fighting the grip, so Jungkook giggles as he walks him away from the door for the next five minutes. Well, some would say giggle. It’s loud, there’s something about the whole performance that just makes this little bubble of happiness grow and grow and grow in Jungkook’s chest until it comes out with loud snorting giggles.
It ends with Seokjin being released and chasing Jungkook for another five minutes trying to grab hold of his water bottle before they both catch one another’s eyes and know that it’s the end of playtime for the day.
Almost.
Seokjin makes to grab the water bottle one more time as they walk through the doors towards the cars and Jungkook keeps his grip on it for an extra second just to watch the water splatter the floor and for both of them to barely contain laughter at something that’s...you know in hindsight, when the inevitable behind the scenes footage gets aired, isn’t actually that funny, but it feels like it and that’s the main thing.
Yoongi is waiting for them by the cars, is witness to the whole thing and decides to carry on a conversation with Seokjin that he started three hours previously without missing a beat.
Jungkook opens a bag of nuts to snack on and says nothing of it himself.
If Jungkook is going to think hard about it, he knows it’s about stress relief. After a tense day, the safety of those shoulders is relaxing and obviously reciprocated. Not only that, the little bit of horsing around afterwards breaks the tension perfectly, it gets him out of his head instead of overthinking everything he’s just done and wondering if he’s really done his best. Instead he gets to stretch his muscles. Not just his arm and leg muscles though, but his face muscles and diaphragm as he laughs and it feels so good.
He works his arms and legs out when he gets home, that familiar good glow now well trained into an actual routine that pushes him just enough to feel satisfied and the right kind of exhausted come the end of the day. The playtime with Seokjin is part of the routine though too. Part of stretching himself out, settling out of work mode and into home mode.
Later that night it also feels fairly routine whilst on his way to the kitchen to source some snacks to check into Seokjin’s room where he can be found sat in front of his computer still tapping at his mouse as he grinds through levels of his game. Once again, Jungkook feels a certain sort of privilege as he wordlessly saunters through his bedroom to reach him at the screen, because he realises that most people would think Seokjin’s posture is perfect, but Jungkook can tell, just knows on instinct that there’s a big old knot of muscle just to the side of his neck – same place, always the same place, the spot where if he leaves it, Seokjin starts to get headaches.
So it goes without saying that Jungkook, humming the familiar tune from the game under his breath, slides himself on in behind Seokjin. He likes the look of concentration, the way his lower lip sags and his eyebrow twitches in annoyance. The eyebrow’s a little covered up though, so he softly tucks some of Seokjin’s bangs to one side, revealing his forehead and twitchy eyebrows in all their glory. Only then does he start to dig his fingers into the knot on his neck.
Aside from some moans and praise that “that’s the spot, there Jungkook-ah”, this transaction is mostly an unspoken one. No question of if Seokjin would like it, no asking Jungkook if he could help him get rid of it, no question of how long he’s staying or why he’s doing it.
Jungkook gets rid of the knot and feels like he’s done something amazing for the day. The same right feeling that he has when he gives into instinct and falls on in for a back hug. He likes being good. He likes being helpful. He likes looking after someone who gives him so much joy too. Maybe Seokjin, aware as he was when he was younger that Jungkook needed looking after, is just as aware now that Jungkook has a need to be good for others too.
With the tension knots out of Seokjin, his work is done so he starts to leave. Only there’s a voice mumbling over the top of the little tinkling music and the clicking of a mouse that hasn’t stopped the entire time.
“Jungkook-ah, your hands are the best, thank you. Get some rest tonight?”
“Mmmn, maybe in a bit, I’m gonna watch some TV first.”
There’s a drama he’s been meaning to watch, and he’s decided lately that making time for things that he likes that don’t mean anything, like watching tv dramas, feel just as good as sleeping. Making a little time just for himself, for things that aren’t about work in the slightest is worth the tiredness the next day.
Seokjin seems to understand this, because he’s never once chastised him for doing it, instead there’s a little lilt of warmth to his voice.
“Okay, sleep well.”
“Hyung too.”
It’s a familiar exchange. Jungkook probably won’t fall asleep until 4am and Seokjin will be puttering his way to bed within the next hour.
Sometimes Jungkook likes to curl up beside Seokjin when he finally gets to bed, because that spot behind him feels even better when he’s giving into the wispy tendrils of sleep, the morning bird song lulling him to sleep. It’s only sometimes. Sometimes his own bed feels right, when he crashes out and somehow knows that he’s going to snore so loudly he could wake the entire apartment.
Tonight isn’t one of those nights. Instead Jungkook’s finished watching his dramas and he feels a familiar soft itch and thrum through his veins that leads his footsteps into the familiar room and darkness. Towards the soft sounds of sleep, breathing coming from the lump in the bed.
Gently does it, he thinks, as he lowers himself into the warmth of the blankets and the pyjama clad body beneath. There’s no way to do it without waking Seokjin up, but there’s a way of doing it where he knows Jungkook’s presence only gently tickles at his consciousness.
And there’s the little groan of conscious thought that means Seokjin’s been woken up.
“It’s me hyung.”
He keeps it to a whisper, watches as Seokjin’s legs stretch and he buries his face against his pillow. He can’t tell if his eyes open up through the darkness, but he knows it’s been understood when an arm throws itself around him, pulling him in close. Jungkook takes his cue. It’s an easy manoeuvre from here, wrapping one leg over the top of Seokjin’s and tugging it closer with his thigh. His arm reaches out to pull himself out across the wide expanse of Seokjin’s chest and he sighs with contenment as he wraps it around the rest of his body, his head coming to rest just over his heart.
RJ gets pushed to one side, away from Seokjin’s reach so there’s only one thing left to hold onto.
If anyone were to ever take a photo Jungkook thinks it could be interpreted like this -
Jungkook has curled himself into the loving arms of his hyung in place of his beloved stuffed toy.
But as he settles himself down against the soft cotton of the pyjamas, feels a hand rub over his bare shoulder blades (who needs clothes when Seokjin radiates heat and softness on his own) before coming up to rest and curl long fingers into his hair – Jungkook rather feels something else.
That he’s got his Seokjin. The steady thud of a heartbeart underneath him is proof of that. If anyone wants him, they’re going to have to come and pry him out from underneath Jungkook. He’d like to see anyone try.
And maybe one day he’ll hear it said. “Jungkook’s shoulders make me feel safe.”
But he doesn’t think he needs to hear it. There are some things that can be happily left unsaid.