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1. Moonbright Premium Sheet Masks (10 multi-pack) - 9 Silver
Essek Thelyss was many things but "tour guide" was not among his talents. Yet here he was, press-ganged into service, showing the Mighty Nein around the city. They had already made their mark in Rosohna in a relatively short time, the tree that loomed over their home the most visible example. Still, Essek discovered himself growing oddly fond of this mismatched band of weirdos. They were refreshing, in a way. They didn't expect the same flawless perfection out of him that everyone else did. It felt invigorating and he found himself letting his guard down bit by bit. He was completely unable to say no when Jester had gone up to him, eyes bright and beseeching, asking him to take them shopping.
They had been to a few stores already and Essek was already tired. The Mighty Nein were chaos in everything they did and shopping was no exception. It was like being caught in a whirlwind, battered back and forth, before you stumbled out of a store with purchases you barely remembered making. Fjord looked particularly annoyed and had become the pack mule of the group, carrying bags and sitting in what Jester delightedly called "the boyfriend chair" in every clothing shop they visited. The final item on their meandering list were health potions and Essek was relieved to bring them to one of the nicer apothecaries in the Gallimaufry district.
The store was well lit and inviting, with pristine shelves of neatly arranged products. The Mighty Nein spread out to look around as Fjord made a beeline for the women manning the front counter to get this over and done with. Essek floated to the side of the store that contained their skincare and beauty items, wondering if they had his preferred cleanser back in stock. Some supplies had been hard to source during the war and the new one he had tried wasn't really doing the trick.
"Oooooh!" Jester said, coming up next to him to stare at the bottles and jars. "What are all these?" her tail curled behind her in excitement and Essek couldn't help but smile a little at her enthusiasm.
"This store is known for their skincare potions and salves. I'm quite fond of their mugwort cleanser especially."
Jester's eyes got even bigger as she started to pick bottles up and examine them. "These are ALL skincare?"
"Well, of course," Essek said, "I have an 10 step process myself, but 12 or even 15 steps are not unheard of."
"10 steps?!" Jester cried out, voice hitching in shock. "You put ten whole different things on your FACE every DAY?"
"Twice a day, actually." Essek said. Jester made another high pitched noise. "I take it this is unusual in the Empire?"
"What's unusual in the Empire?" Beau sauntered up to the pair and squinted suspiciously at the bottles and jars.
"BEAU, Essek puts TEN THINGS on his FACE every single DAY." Jester said.
"Why the fuck do you do that?" the monk asked, turning to examine Essek's face more closely.
Essek floated a step back, slightly bewildered. "It is a common cultural expectation here. Drow take skincare and cleanliness very seriously. We will live in these bodies for hundreds of years and we must take good care of them."
Jester grabbed his arm, drawing the drow close. He made a shocked noise in the back of his throat at the sudden touch. "Tell me EVERYTHING. I want to know all the steps!" she demanded.
Essek dutifully went through all of the steps of a common drow skincare regimen. He handed bottles to Jester, explaining what each did and their place in the routine. The tiefling held them all to her chest, entranced, and Essek had a feeling this was going to be a very good business day for this shop owner.
"And what are these?" she asked, holding up a bag of folded squares of thin white silk.
"Oh, sheet masks," Essek replied. "They are drenched in essential oils and serums. They have cut outs for your eyes, nose and mouth. You place them on your face for a half hour or so as a small treatment. They are very relaxing. I myself favor the ones made with snail secretion."
Beau looked amused and took the bag from Jester. "Sheet masks? This is hilarious. We gotta get these."
Before Essek knew what was happening, he found himself pulled back to the Mighty Nein's home and asked to give the group a crash course in, well, the fine art of sheet masking. In what was one of the more surreal experiences in his life, he helped each member unfold the mask and arrange it on their face. Jester had purchased the multi-pack so they had many different types to chose from. Caduceus was delighted to discover one was made with green tea and he took great care in trying to make the mask fit his rather large face. He leaned back on the couch with his arms loose in his lap, content, while proclaiming the mask experience to be "nice."
Jester excitedly grabbed a mask made with pearl dust while Beau tried one infused with tea tree oil. Yasha submitted to a rose mask being placed on her face, smiling faintly at the floral smell. Jester wrangled Fjord down into a chair and slapped a seaweed one on him, the half-orc shouting that it was "too sticky" while Jester tried to arrange it just right. Nott selected a rice and aloe mask, grumbling as it tried to slide off her angular goblin face.
Caleb looked over the masks, baffled. "What an odd pastime," he said with a small, barely there smile.
"It is very relaxing, I assure you." Essek said, feeling a touch foolish. "Ah, here. There is a lavender one. It's very calming." the drow held out the thin envelope containing the mask. Caleb, after a moment, took it. He examined it, sniffing the mask as he opened it and making a face at the slick essence that coated it. With a shrug he tossed it on his face, missing his nose and mouth entirely. Essek flinched and tentatively reached out to adjust it.
He moved it gingerly, smoothing it down gently onto Caleb's freckled face, trying not to blush at how close he was to the human wizard. He could feel the sharp jut of his cheekbones under the thin silk of the mask and it made his insides feel heavy and liquid hot.
"Ah, thank you." Caleb said. "It is... still a little odd." he picked his way back to his spot on the couch and sat very still as he tried to read, not wanting to let the mask slide again.
Essek looked at the room full of battle-hardened adventures, the heroes of the Dynasty, wearing sheet masks and wondered what life choices had brought him to this very strange point in his existence.
"Essek," Jester said, drawing the consonants of his name out into one long snake-like whine. "Come on, there's still a spot on the couch. We're all relaxing together like bonafide Xhorhasians."
Unable to deny her anything (a worrying thought he'd examine much later), Essek delicately placed a snail sheet mask onto his face and sat down with the Mighty Nein, allowing himself a small moment of rest.
2. Mage's Friend heavy duty hand lotion (vermaloc and verbena scent) - 2 Gold
Essek didn't mean to stare at Caleb's hands so often. It was just so unavoidable. It was hard to take his eyes off the wizard as they worked together, watching the elegant way his long, slender fingers worked through somatic gestures as he cast spells. It also meant Essek often saw Caleb worrying at his cuticles with his teeth as he worked on a difficult bit of spellwork, leaving his skin red and raw. It looked shockingly painful and the drow couldn't bear it. People had their nervous tics, he often found himself pulling on the earrings in his left ear when he was deep in thought, but they weren't supposed to be harmful. If he was honest, it was just so very Caleb Widogast to have an anxious habit that left him bleeding.
The next time Essek visited the Mighty Nein's home he produced a small, round jar from beneath his mantle and handed it to Caleb. He had purchased it just in time, Caleb's nail beds looked particularly puffy and scabbed, his nails bitten down to the quick. This transmutation spell for Nott was bothering him greatly and he was taking it out on his beautiful, talented fingers.
"What is this?" Caleb asked, turning the jar over in his hands. There was a label affixed to the top but the words were in Undercommon.
"It is a salve, a lotion really, that is in great favor here with magic users. It is a balm to calm aches and pains, smooth rough patches from spell components, and moisturize the skin and nails since we so often work with harsh chemicals. In common it is called Mage's Friend, in fact. I find it useful."
Caleb smiled his little smile, the one that made Essek's stomach drop into his knees and do somersaults, and popped open the hinged lid of the jar. The thick lotion was a pale purple color and smelled fresh and woodsy. Caleb scooped a little out with his fingers and began to rub the lotion into his hands. His eyebrows quirked up and his smile grew appreciative.
"This is very nice," he said, pleasure evident in his voice as the lotion smothered the pain around his nails. "Just what I needed. Thank you, Herr Thelyss."
Essek hoped Caleb did not notice the blush burning across his face, pitching his voice into the polite range he so often used as Shadowhand.
"Think nothing of it."
3. Iohanes Hair Arts: The Royal Treatment (hair wash, cut, and style) - 50 Gold
"Caleb, there is... is that cat sick in your hair?" Essek asked, faintly horrified. He couldn't believe the words even coming out of his mouth but he could not deny what his own two eyes saw. The wizard's usually beautiful copper hair was matted with- nope, Essek wasn't even going to finish that thought. His brain refused.
"Ach, ja," he said, looking a touch embarrassed. "You know how cats are."
"I truly do not." Essek said, still staring.
"Well, if they eat too fast... Frumpkin did not mean it. It must have been while I was sleeping. I suppose the soap did not remove it all when I washed."
Light help me, Essek thought, I am falling for a human wizard who can't properly wash vomit out of his hair. The desire to drag Caleb to the bathroom, shove his head under the sink faucet, and scrub his scalp with shampoo until his hair gleamed was almost irrepressible.
"Oh my god, Caleb, not the bar soap AGAIN." Jester sighed dramatically, pushing her spoon around the oatmeal Caduceus had passed to her. "I got you that really nice hair stuff from the Lavish Chateau! If you ran out, just tell me and I can get some more, sheesh!"
Essek held up his hand diplomatically. "I see you have already attempted to help. I can take it from here, Jester. Thank you." He was already mentally making a list of every hair product he could think of to purchase. "Wait, bar soap?"
Caleb begin to go red at the tips of his ears.
"Yeah man, what the fuck," Beau said, leaning over the table and giving the wizard a look. "You can't just use one bar of soap for everything. Even I fucking know that."
"It is frugal-" Caleb began to say, getting swiftly cut off by Beau again.
"I don't care what it is," the monk said, "you can't wash your face with the same soap you use to wash your ass!"
"Beauregard!" Caleb yelped, mortified.
"Excuse me, he what?" Essek stared at them all for a moment, wondering if he heard that right, and realizing with a sinking feeling he had.
Yasha looked up from her breakfast, nodding a little. "Even I use conditioner. Well, it's animal tallow, but it gets the job done."
Essek turned slowly to look at her, wondering if this was perhaps some strange joke.
"Oh my god, is that why you kind of smell like bacon?" Beau asked. Yasha looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I guess so. I think I did use bacon lard last time."
"That's hot." the monk said, grinning at her.
Essek would not call himself vain if you asked him. He'd say he was neat in his appearance, something drilled into him since he was a young child by his exacting Umavi and the status that went along with his Den. To be anything less then perfect was a sin. He took pride in his appearance, in his clothing and hair, because that was just part of his life and the expectations therein. He knew what he had to do in this situation. A glance around the table at the rest of the Nein made him realize this was probably going to be a, well, group effort.
With a flick of his wrist, Essek cast Sending. He sat up a little straighter, feeling the magic fizz on his fingertips. "Hello, Iohanes, this is Shadowhand Essek Thelyss. Salon appointments for seven people in one hour. Thank you."
"You still had so many words left over, Essek!" Jester was aghast. She considered herself something of a Sending specialist. "You could have at LEAST sang a little song or, you know, asked them how they were doing, or whatever."
"Salon what?" Fjord asked, not liking the sound of that one bit.
Caleb dropped his head into his hands with a groan. "A salon? That seems excessive. We do not have fleas, Essek."
"I dunno, I might have fleas." Nott said, shoving another spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth.
4. Cleric's Choice beeswax lip balm - 3 Copper
5. The King's Finest beard oil (imported) - 5 Gold
It was a stolen moment, a precious second of time that Essek wished desperately he could bottle and savor for the rest of his days. Their eyes meeting over their work, elated and exhausted in equal measure. Nott had long since gone to sleep, curled up on the couch in Essek's workroom. He and Caleb had pressed forward, feeling much too close to stop just yet. They chased the spell like hounds after a fox, finishing each other's sentences and writing over each other's notes as they edged ever closer to a breakthrough. The night closed around them, the late hour making it feel as if they were the only two people in existence.
"I think... I think we have it." Essek said, voice soft in awe. It would need a little refinement, some additional double checking of equations and components, but the theory was sound. He looked over their work, marveling at the way Dunamancy and Transmutation wove together so seamlessly. It was as if the two magics waltzed together, hand in hand. Strange bedfellows that somehow created something new, something unheard of, something so exciting Essek felt as if he would cry and laugh all at the same time.
Caleb glanced up from the papers and looked at Essek. His hair had begun to fall out of it's ponytail and his eyes were heavy with tired lines. In that moment he was the most beautiful man Essek had ever seen. The wizard looked oddly emotional, blue eyes bright even in the dim firelight.
"Essek." he said, closing the space between them and kissing him. Essek felt as if he was dry kindling and Caleb had set him ablaze. He had wanted this for so long, this clever wizard with his clever hands and beautiful hair, and Essek's brain went silent as they kissed. It was a sweet kiss, tired and languid, with so much promise behind it. Caleb twined their hands together, breaking apart for a moment, both of them breathless.
"I-" Essek was so rarely at a loss for words but he found himself floundering.
"We have done something amazing here today." Caleb said, tone intense and hands warm. "Together we can do so many other incredible things, my friend."
They kissed again, a touch more urgently this time. Essek placed a hand against the rough scruff of Caleb's beard, feeling his sharp jaw work as they kissed. His lips were chapped, the Xhorhasian cold air harsh on the Zemnian. Some part of Essek's mind, the part that hadn't gone into delighted shock as they kissed, dutifully added items to his mental shopping list. Did they have lip balm in the Empire? That couldn't be a Dynasty thing, surely? Or perhaps it was the pointed neglect Caleb ceaselessly punished himself with.
Essek wanted to show Caleb he was cared for. Cherished. Treasured. Essek had no words to explain to him what a singular man he was, how rare his intellect and talents, how much they matched his own. He didn't yet know how to show Caleb how much he was adored and loved. Essek tried, though.
The next time Caleb visited his tower, Essek presented him with lip balm for the cold and oil for his beard. He deflected when Caleb asked about them, treating them like trinkets picked up thoughtlessly during a shopping trip and not a symbol of the adoration he wanted to show him. Essek wanted nothing more than to take care of him but the words for that feeling, complicated and far too big and far too soon, did not come.
Perhaps Caleb still noticed, though. He took them with good humor and even let Essek rub the oil into his beard, later grinning up at the drow as he rubbed his face against his soft inner thigh, asking in that stupidly hot accent of his if it still felt scratchy. Essek could only moan in response. Five gold well spent.
+1. Felder Sonnenschutz (75 LSF Lichtschutzfactor) - 1 Gold, 2 Silver
Essek did his best to keep from withering under the beach umbrella's frankly inadequate shade. Nicodranas was beautiful, sunny, warm, and absolute fucking Hell. Everyone was having a fantastic time on the beach except for Essek, it seemed. Yasha stood behind Kingsley as he dashed around the waters edge, whooping as waves crested against him. Beau and Fjord were playing some odd beach game that involved shoving each other into the water while Jester yelled encouragements. Veth sat in the sands nearby with Yeza, watching Luc hassle some seagulls with his miniature toy crossbow. Essek was really trying to get into the spirit of this outing but it was painfully difficult. He wished, for a moment, he wasn't Essek Thelyss. He wished he was some other form that could soak up the sun and join Caleb in the water. Not that Essek knew how to swim or anything but at least he could dip a toe into the cool surf without bursting into flames.
Instead, he sat under the umbrella and wilted. He looked up from the book he was skimming as Caleb ducked into the shadows to join him. The wizard was shirtless, wearing just shorts, and Essek drank in the sight of him.
"Hallo schatz," he said, pressing a kiss to Essek's cheek. "How are you enjoying the beach?"
"I think I can feel my cells dying." he scowled. Caleb laughed, the sound so wonderful, miraculous even, after all their group had been through.
"Here, I have just the thing." Caleb said, handing him a large jar. It resembled the cosmetic jars that used to crowd Essek's bathroom counter back in Rosohna. He opened it curiously, finding a thick white cream inside that smelled vaguely of chemicals. The label of the jar was in Zemnian, full of those long words that made Essek's eyes cross.
"What is it?" he asked, sincerely bewildered.
"Ah, well, it is for protection against the sunlight. It prevents burns and damage." Caleb chose his words carefully, unhurried but hopeful. "I thought, perhaps, if you used it I would teach you how to swim."
Essek looked at Caleb and felt love bloom in his chest, overwhelmed. He looked at the jar in his hands again, marveling at it and the meaning behind it. Caleb showing that he wanted to take care of Essek too, that he wanted him to be able to join their friends and not be alone or abandoned.
"Please," Essek said, "I would like that."
Caleb took the jar from him and helped cover any exposed skin with the salve. He gently rubbed it into Essek's thin face, thumbs brushing over the light freckles on his cheeks before kissing him. When Caleb was satisfied Essek's skin was protected, he grabbed his hand and took the drow out into the sunlight. Essek squinted against the bright light, letting his eyes adjust. He looked down at his hands, feeling the heat of the sun soak sweetly into him without any of the pinching itch or painful burn that usually accompanied it.
"This is incredible. Thank you."
"I am sorry it is not fancy Xhorhasian snail face cream but it gets the job done." Caleb smiled, putting an arm around him.
"No," Essek said, pulling him close and kissing him again. "It's perfect."