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Eddie rested his head against the wheel for a second, taking a deep breath. He had just dropped off his second-to-last customer at her destination, and he was exhausted. Out of all the people he ever drove around, Penelope Weiss was definitely the worst. Catty, almost vicious, Eddie was relieved to be nothing more than just a limo driver (and the chef of his company, but she didn’t care about that). Most of all, he was glad he wasn’t one of her enemies.
Just standing around her and listening to her simpering voice was enough to make his skin crawl. He wondered if it was God’s way of punishing him for not celebrating Christmas properly. Not that Christmas had much to with Jesus’s birth, these days…
“Only one customer. One customer, and you’re free to go.”
Another deep breath, and Eddie turned on the engine, driving to the place where he was supposed to pick his next customer, some guy named Henri Tattler-something he had never heard about before. New client on Christmas day, Eddie would have to be exemplary and do his best to earn his customer loyalty. He could really use one more wealthy patron buying his services regularly…
As it tended to do these last few months, his mind drifted to Myra, and the day he decided to turn his life upside-down, finally acknowledging his issues face-on and doing something about it, other than complaining and moping. Eddie still couldn’t believe that he found in himself the will to end their loveless, but oh so weirdly comfortable relationship, after years and years of living together.
The words came out of his throat before he had the time to think any of it through, and perhaps it was for the best. They both knew they were unhappy together, but it was just easier to maintain the lie and pretend that they weren’t so bad. That the good times outweighed the bad ones. But they didn’t. And if they didn’t part in the best terms, Eddie was now officially divorced, a single man sharing his best friend’s flat.
Truth be told, Eddie didn’t take so kindly to the bachelor life, used to being doted on by his mother, then Myra. It was Beverly who suggested having him roomed with Richie, until he found his footing and managed to handle living on his own. Richie himself was a pretty messy person and, together, they probably might be able to keep their place somewhat decent and clean.
It was supposed to be a few weeks or so arrangement, but Eddie didn’t really take the time to look for a new place, and Richie didn’t seem too impatient either to see him leave. So, Eddie stayed, and managed to truly enjoy his life for the first time in years. Sharing a place with Richie was actually pretty great, despite his definite messiness and his never-ending jokes and Voices, and Eddie couldn’t picture himself leaving the flat as of now. Maybe he didn’t have to.
As he was parking his limousine at the spot he had been indicated, Eddie didn’t have to wait too long for his customer to come. He couldn’t help, but jump when the man knocked at his window, as he didn’t see him coming to him. Professional as always, Eddie left his car to greet his customer politely, opening the door for him. He had been ready to grab his luggage or anything the guy might have brought, but he didn’t even have the tiniest bag.
The man didn’t quite look like any of the customers Eddie was used to. He seemed older than the world itself, his face wrinkled like a crumpled paper, a gentle smile on his thin lips. Eddie wasn’t quite sure what to feel about him, but he was hoping that he had nothing to do with the likes of Penelope “Penny” Weiss, acclaimed performer, yet a despicable person.
Once his customer was comfortably installed, Eddie climbed behind the wheel, turning around to glance at the old man:
“Welcome aboard, Mr. Tattlertuum. I’m Edward Kaspbrak, and I’ll be your driver tonight. Feel free to ask for anything that might make your trip more agreeable. Royal Crest Company is delighted to count you amongst our customers.”
“Oh, Mr. Kaspbrak, I’m myself delighted that you are my driver. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.”
Eddie guessed that the old man was a “talker”. After years of practice, he learned to determine from the get-go who was looking for a discussion, and who wanted nothing more than a silent and discreet driver they could forget. If Penelope Weiss was definitely the latter, Henry Tattlertuum was undoubtedly the former.
After checking that everything was in order, Eddie drove off to their destination, striking up a conversation with his customer:
“Merry Christmas, sir. I do hope you’ll have a good night.”
“Happy Holidays to you too, Mr. Kaspbrak. I sure am having a jolly night planned! What about you, though?”
Eddie could detect concern in Mr. Tattlertuum’s voice, as if he genuinely cared about the fact that his limo driver was working on Christmas day. The man was probably an actor of some sort, because Eddie wasn’t able to sense a hint of hypocrisy in his tone. Who would really bother worrying about their driver?
“Oh, Christmas day is always busy. Good for business. I’m happy to be there to drive you around.”
Eddie wasn’t lying. With a few holidays during the year, Christmas was one of their most lucrative days. Many celebrities wishing to be driven around, on the 25th of December… Eddie wasn’t quite sure why, but he wasn’t complaining. After he had to buy from Myra her share of the company, he had certainly welcomed every ride he could get.
At least, it looked like he wasn’t going to end the night with the worst customer he ever had. Mr. Tattlertuum seemed to be a warm, friendly person, and Eddie hoped he would tip him in the end. If he did, Eddie would definitely buy Richie the most delicious breakfast he could find in this side of New York. As a form of apology, perhaps…
“Christmas is a time to meet with family and friends! Don’t you have anyone you would want to be with?”
Eddie grimaced for a second, before he put on his stilted, professional smile, putting away the thoughts that crossed his mind. To be honest, Eddie had never been much of a Christmas guy. To him, Christmas was made of days and evenings spent with his mom reminding him how dangerous the sweets and chocolate and Yule logs were for his fragile health. She always kept him on a stricter diet this day, as if hearing about it all from his friends and classmates would be enough to make him diabetic or something.
Christmas with Myra was… pretty uneventful. He bought her gifts without a second thought, knowing that she would politely enjoy anything he would give her, while he pretended to be enthusiastic about her own impersonal presents. Eddie remembered watching Hallmark Christmas movies distractedly, and thinking that they were the biggest lies this society had ever produced.
There was nothing magical or whimsical about this holiday. The only Christmas miracle he could think of was the number of customers his company would have on this specific day. Other than that, though…
“Mr. Kaspbrak?”
“Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was focused on the road. I don’t really have any close family, and I’m freshly divorced, so it’s not like I’m much in the festive mood.”
“Oh… Well, I suppose congratulations are in order. I hope?”
Eddie found himself chuckling at the old man’s tone and inappropriate answer. Richie could have told him something like that. He did, actually, when Eddie announced to him and his friends that he and Myra were divorcing.
Richie wasn’t working tonight. Most of his radio crew was celebrating Christmas, so they recorded their show in advance, and he was currently staying at home, watching some stupid Star Wars holiday special Eddie definitely never wanted to watch if he could avoid it.
Thinking about his friend, Eddie bit on his bottom lip, hoping that he was having a good night, despite being on his own. For a second, he looked so disappointed when Eddie told him that he would be working on Christmas… But then, he was back to his usual self, cracking jokes about Eddie driving around while Santa Claus and Kris Kringle were doing the naughty on his backseat (with exaggerated noises to illustrate his thought, of course), and Eddie convinced himself that it was okay.
After all, he needed to work and keep his business afloat, he couldn’t really afford to skip one of his busiest nights to watch a Holiday Special with his best friend... Right?
“Thank you, sir. What about you, Mr. Tattlertuum? Are you going to spend Christmas with a special someone?”
“I have some festivities planned with a few people, yes. Very special people.”
The old man winked at the rear-view mirror, and Eddie found himself smiling awkwardly, as he often did when he didn’t quite know how to react to something. He wasn’t really sure what the guy was implying, and he hoped it wasn’t perverted or messed up, because he definitely didn’t want to smile at this kind of stuff…
The roads they were driving on were brightly lit, and Eddie was almost blinded by the sheer amount of Christmas Nights all around. If he wasn’t worried that it might impair his driving, he would definitely be awed by the sight he was witnessing. Christmas in New York was definitely different from Christmas in Derry, Maine.
“Isn’t it wonderful? All those lights, all those smiles, those Christmas trees… It’s almost like time is suspended for a day. Nothing, but joy all around.”
Part of Eddie wanted to retort something, if only to show the old man that Christmas Day wasn’t such a special day, and that there were tons of unhappy, miserable people on this merry, jolly evening, but he shut his mouth, keeping his cynicism in check. He didn’t want to risk upsetting his possibly future loyal customer, after all. And, he didn’t want to admit it, he started to feel a bit of this wonder that seemed to have struck his customer ever since Eddie met him and they began talking about Christmas.
“When you think about Christmas, what’s the first thing that’s coming to your mind?”
Eddie thought about it for a second, before he answered with an amused smile, knowing that his answer would definitely make Richie laugh:
“Mariah Carey.”
The old man seemed put off for a second, before his lips stretched into a smile, and he started to chuckle uncontrollably. Eddie found himself laughing as well, as if the guy’s hilarity was somewhat contagious.
“I mean, you’re not really wrong, Mr. Kaspbrak. When you think about it, her cheerful song does represent the best you can find in Christmas. It’s not really about the presents, or any of the things you can buy on Christmas. It’s about the joy of spending time with the people you love the most, without a care in the world.”
Once again, Eddie’s thoughts drifted back to Richie. Was he having fun, watching his stupid movie? Or was he feeling alone? Everyone was away from Christmas this year, after all. Himself included. Tightening his fingers on the wheel, Eddie hoped that the traffic would be merciful, so that he’d be able to drive back to their place not too late. Perhaps he could spend a bit of time with Richie, if he managed to come home early…
Yet, Destiny seemed set against him, as they found themselves stuck in traffic for an ungodly amount of time. Eddie cursed internally, trying to keep a straight face and figure out a shorter path to his customer’s destination. He couldn’t come up with anything that wouldn’t involve slowly driving for at least thirty minutes or so…
His car stopped, waiting for the vehicle in front of them to move a little, Eddie turned around with an apologetic smile:
“I’m sorry for the delay, Mr. Tattlertuum. Know that it’s not going to increase the cost of your ride, as it is Royal Crest’s duty to drive you to your destination at the designated time.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about that, Mr. Kaspbrak. I am, after all, in quite a good company, with you driving me around. However, I’m concerned that you might not be home in time for Christmas… I sure hope no one’s waiting for you there!”
Once again, Eddie had to hide a grimace, as he started to wonder if the old man was trying to get under his skin on purpose. Would Richie wait for him, all night long? Would he wonder if Eddie was doing fine, on this busy day? Would he worry about him? If not, well, Eddie was definitely the one who was worrying about his friend at the moment.
Richie never liked to be alone, did he? On Christmas, of all days… He didn’t have his parents anymore to call or spend time with, and their friends were probably too busy with their vacations and preparations to indulge him on the phone for too long. No one to listen to his purposefully horrendous Santa Voice, no one to laugh and playfully sigh at his jokes… No one to keep him company for Christmas.
“I… I think there might be someone waiting for me. At home.”
“Oh?”
Henry Tattlertuum glanced out the window, before he stretched a sad smile on his thin lips:
“I’m very sorry then. It looks like you won’t be able to make it back in time. A shame, truly. After all, isn’t Christmas the day you should spend with the people you care the most about? Isn’t it the day to tell them how much you love them? Let them know how important they are for you in your life?”
What was he doing here? No, seriously, what was Eddie doing here, on Christmas night, driving his customers around, when he could be with Richie? When he should be with Richie? His heart was pounding against his rib cage, as his mind was suddenly forced to confront the painful, unbearable aching to be by his friend’s side… No, not his friend. His… His…
“Oh, fuck…”
Eddie cursed quietly, unable to care if his customer heard him at the moment. Oh, how strangely easy it had been to ignore the feeling bubbling in his chest, as he was spending more and more time with Richie, learning to know him in a way he never had before… Seeing all the little things that made Richie Richie, when no one but Eddie was there to witness it, it was definitely special in a way he couldn’t quite define.
Eddie’s heart felt warm, tender and lighter, whenever he was around Richie. He couldn’t help but laugh at his jokes, even the less funny ones. He wanted to hear everything that his friend’s hyperactive mind could come up with, no matter when, no matter how. Eddie wished for Richie’s presence, and longed for him in his absence.
As weeks passed, he had noticed that his fingers were looking for Richie’s, stopping himself just before he did the unspeakable. The unforgivable. It was easier to stay friends, to enjoy what they have, rather than hope for something he might never get. Something that could ruin everything, if he dared to give it a try…
“Are you alright, my friend?”
No, he wasn’t! He… He should have been with Richie all along! He should have been there with him, watching this stupid Holiday special, laughing at his Voices, groaning at his constant innuendos, and just having a nice, Christmas day with his friend. Instead, he was… he was working. He was on the road, driving around people who couldn’t care less about him, when he should be with the one person who truly mattered to him. The person he… The man he l…
“You should drop me here, Mr. Kaspbrak.”
Eddie let out an interrogative “Uh?” before he glanced at his rear-view mirror, his eyes meeting his customer’s friendly stare.
“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else, Mr. Kaspbrak? Shouldn’t you celebrate Christmas with a special someone?”
He should, shouldn’t he? And yet… Yet, he was stuck in traffic. And… And he couldn’t just drop off Mr. Tattlertuum so far from his destination, in the middle of this busy traffic. As if the old man could read his thoughts, he immediately dismissed his worries, a gentle smile on his lips:
“Don’t you worry about me, Mr. Kaspbrak. I could use a little walk, my old legs can still carry me a long way. And I have all the time in the world to reach my destination.”
Before Eddie had the time to say a thing, Mr. Tattlertuum opened the limo’s door, and stood outside:
“But you, my friend, you only have a few hours before this day is over. Surely, you have more pressing matters to attend at home, right?”
The old man dropped something in the backseat, and started to walk away, wishing a Merry Christmas to his delightful driver. It took a few seconds for Eddie to snap out of his stupor, and he rolled his window open, trying to call out for the old man. But Henry Tattlertuum had already vanished, and Eddie couldn’t see him anywhere…
As he was putting his head back in the car, Eddie finally paid attention to the little something Mr. Tattlertuum abandoned on his seat. A sprig of mistletoe… As his cheeks were reddening, Eddie let out a noisy exhale. For a second, his reason and his heart fought a mighty battle, but his good sense almost gave up immediately, as Eddie was driven by something stronger, something he couldn’t quite name at the moment.
No matter! He just knew one thing, one thing for sure… He needed to get home. As soon as possible. As he was nearing an intersection, Eddie realized that the road he needed to take to get back to their flat was empty. He didn’t have time to ponder on this Christmas miracle, because Richie was home alone, and, fuck, he shouldn’t be!
Eddie didn’t remember the last time he drove so fast, especially in one of his company’s limos. Every light was turning green for him, every lane was empty enough to allow him to drive at the pace he needed to reach, as if the whole world was urging him to get back to Richie as soon as possible.
There shouldn’t be a parking spot long enough for him to leave his limo there, and yet, he found one, close to their building. As he left his car behind, Eddie grabbed the sprig of mistletoe as if his life depended on it, running towards their place. They were on the sixth floor and, yet, Eddie didn’t have the patience to wait for the old elevator to slowly come down. He climbed the stairs at a faster pace than he had ever run in years, the exhaustion catching up with him as soon as he found himself in front of their front door, ringing the bell.
Richie was clearly surprised when he saw Eddie, letting him in with a concerned expression on his face:
“Hey, Eds, you okay? Aren’t you supposed to be working?”
Eddie couldn’t say a thing. He was wheezing, his legs shaking, his right fist tightly closed on the sprig. A small part of him wished he could put his hands on his aspirator, but Eddie knew fairly well that it wouldn’t do a thing for him. After all, he was just a forty-something years old man stupidly thinking that he could run a whole flight of stairs without any consequences…
Richie walked closer to him, about to say something, when Eddie interrupted him. He took a deep breath, trying to find his words, merely able to say, while he was raising his closed fist as high as he could in the air, opening it to reveal the sprig hidden:
“M… Mistletoe…”
As Richie’s brain was catching up with what he was seeing, Eddie kept on acting impulsively, driven by an instinct he didn’t have any control over. His lips crashed onto Richie’s, almost knocking off his glasses in the process. It was messy, wet, and clumsy, but God, it was good. It was so good…
As Eddie was taking a step back, allowing himself to breathe a little, he wondered, horrified, how Richie would react. Paralyzed at first, his “friend”, if he could still call him that, opened his arms wide, for Eddie to take refuge in his embrace. Eddie didn’t wait any longer, trembling with exhaustion and emotion, as Richie hugged him tenderly, as if he always meant to do so.
“I’m… I’m sorry… I kept thinking about you, alone on Christmas day, and I… I don’t know… I…”
Eddie wheezed, and Richie shushed him, whispering to his ear:
“Take your time, Eddie Spaghetti.”
The nickname should have been annoying, but it wasn’t. Eddie found himself smiling warmly, as Richie helped him to the couch. Eddie sat down, giving some respite to his poor body while Richie was staring at him as if he couldn’t quite believe what was happening. Was it… Was it reciprocal? Was Richie truly sharing the same feelings as Eddie?
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Okay, he could do it. He definitely could! As his mind occulted the weird cooking show taking place in the Star Wars Holiday Special Richie had been watching all alone, Eddie found himself talking, saying all those things he kept to himself and didn’t even dare to think about, until this special night arrived:
“I... I started to get these feelings for you, and… and I didn’t know what to make of it. At first, I didn’t know I was gay, and then, I was scared that you’d think I was just doing something crazy after the divorce, and… I couldn’t let you know…”
But he did. He did, and he felt so much better for it. Richie smiled gently, his hand caressing Eddie’s cheek tenderly. Oh, it was the best feeling in the world… Would he ever get used to it?
“Don’t worry, Eds. Leaving your job behind, running the stairs to throw yourself at me under a crushed sprig of mistletoe, you definitely looked perfectly reasonable, sane, and not at all unhinged.”
“Oh, fuck off!” Eddie chuckled, his heart beating fondly for the man he always loved so much. “I was just… I don’t know… impulsive?”
“Impulsive is not a word well-used in Eddie Kaspbrak’s vocabulary. You’re sure about all of that?”
Richie had asked him this question expectantly, and Eddie could see the anxiety in his eyes, as he was waiting for his answer. As if Richie truly thought Eddie would reject him, after throwing himself at him like that… God, now that he was thinking about it, he had been really pushy, and without any warning, or anything to let Richie know what he was about to do.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I was such a beast. I could have just told you about my feelings, but…”
“Shh, Eddie, it’s all good. You couldn’t resist my charm, I know. It’s my fabulous ‘stache, isn’t it?”
Eddie rolled his eyes, hitting Richie on the shoulder playfully. Richie let out a dramatic “Ow!” before he winked, letting Eddie know:
“Nurse Kaspbrak, I’m hurt! Won’t you kiss it and make it better?”
Richie started to take off his glasses, muttering something about making himself look more handsome for his Eddie Spaghetti, but Eddie shook his head, putting his hand on Richie’s as he was reassuring him:
“No, you… You’re just perfect for me with the glasses too. I… I love them.”
He knew Richie always had a complex when it came to his glasses, but, truly, Eddie loved them on Richie’s face. They made his eyes so big and vivid, big enough to express the number of feelings and emotions Richie could experience at the same time. Like he was right now. Love, tenderness, fear, disbelief, expectation… Everything happened so fast and so suddenly, Eddie couldn’t blame him. They needed to take things a bit slower. But first…
Eddie kissed him, once again, and Richie kissed him back. The surprise and the adrenaline gone, they could now both enjoy the moment, as if time slowed down just to allow them to appreciate it even more and even longer. Oh, how Eddie wished to know the taste of Richie’s lips, and how much he loved it, now that he could savor it…
When they stopped, Richie’s hand grabbed Eddie’s, caressing the skin tenderly. They fit just right, as if it was meant to be… Smiling widely, Eddie finally answered Richie’s concerns, snuggling up to him as if it was the most natural thing to do:
“I know I’m not a very impulsive guy, and that Future Eddie will definitely curse Present Eddie for ditching our customer like that, but I also know that Future Eddie will be very happy that I listened to my heart and kissed you. I love you, Richie Tozier.”
Richie tightened his fingers on Eddie’s, as he was blurting with a soft, shy tone, so unlike the Richie Eddie knew:
“I love you too.”
The tender moment was suddenly ruined, as Eddie was unable to tune off the sound of a Wookie moaning obscenely at the sight of a human woman. Even worse was Richie’s perfect imitation of this dreadful noise that Eddie never wanted to hear again in his life…
“Please, no, never again…”
“You know that I sound exactly like that in bed?”
Richie grinned, as Eddie jokingly pretended that he was about to change his mind about their relationship. Settling in Richie’s arms, as his partner was caressing his hair tenderly, Eddie started to rant about the holiday special, causing Richie to laugh:
“What the fuck are you watching on Christmas? Can’t you watch a normal Christmas movie, like… I don’t know… The Island of Misfit toys?”
“Misfit toys…” Richie licked his lips with a suggestive look. “Kinky.”
“Oh, fuck off! It’s the only movie I could think of.”
“I definitely need to upgrade your Christmas movie culture, my Eddie Spaghetti.”
As the hours went by, Eddie and Richie took their first steps in this new relationship. Eddie wouldn’t know that until later, but there wasn’t any trace of a certain Henry Tattlertuum in his company’s files. In fact, Penny Weiss was supposed to be his last customer for the night…
There was something magical about Christmas. More than the presents, the foods, the lights, the decorated trees… Something truly unique, bringing people together.
Merry Christmas, Richie Tozier. Merry Christmas, Eddie Kaspbrak.