Chapter Text
Castiel is human and living in the bunker this time around. Given his own room to sleep, he starts getting nightmares from all that he had done and seen as an angel. All he wants is comfort.
Dean was hanging out in his room. He couldn't sleep, so why waste his time trying? He was playing on his phone instead.
Castiel woke up and sat up with a start, eyes wide instantly as he looks around panicky. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as his eyes darted around the room. It took him several moments to let out a relieved sigh, but his breath was still coming out quick. He laid back down in the sweat covered sheets and pulled the blanket over himself tightly, trying to calm down.
There was so much... so much blood and pain and violence that his brain couldn't comprehend. To many pictures of memories of wars and failures. There was just too much...
It's been a week, maybe more, since Castiel was living in the bunker. But even more time before that when he turned human. Most nights, between finding a place to rest and being on lookout for angels, Castiel would get nightmares. Sometimes he fought them off, but the idea of sleeping wasn't pleasant in his mind. He was always alone where no one could help him.
But now, a week after being safe. Being home. The place that had been his happy place whenever he had a bad dream. Not just the place but the people, his family. Family.
Dean.
It took Castiel a few more minutes to sit back up again and wiped his eyes, crawling out from under the covers tiredly. Exhausted. Wearing a light t-shirt and sweatpants but stumbled to change out of the damp shirt. Then grabbing one of the pillows and opening his door, Castiel walked down the halls of the Men of Letters bunker to Dean's bedroom. He’s heard of children going to their parents' room after a nightmare and it seemed like a good option. And Dean wouldn’t turn him away… he hoped.
Dean looked up at a quiet, timid knock on his door. That wasn't Sam, Sam knocked louder. Firmer. This... Seemed scared.
He doubted it was Cas. Cas never came to him when he was in his room. Confused, he stood up, grabbing a gun that was on the underside of his desk and opening it. He frowned in confusion and set the gone-on top of the desk. "Cas?" He looked awful. Exhausted, like he hadn't slept at all.
Castiel was shaking from the slight cold of the hall and had his arms tight around the pillow. Castiel wouldn't have done this, bother Dean at this time of night or with this issue. But he'd always been there for him, so maybe...
"Had a nightmare," Castiel murmured, sure the stains on his cheeks were visible from the lamp on in Dean's room.
Dean blinked. Cas had a... nightmare? But he always seemed so put together, Dean never would have expected... except he was human now. So, things were different. "Alright, come in," Dean ushered him into the room. "I'm gonna grab you some water, then we'll talk about it, okay? Sometimes that helps. Do you get nightmares often?"
Castiel followed his invitation and sat on the edge of the bed. "Since Metatron took my grace," Castiel said in a similar quiet voice, his chin resting on the pillow close to his chest. This was pathetic, but he couldn't do anything about it.
"Cas- That was almost months ago," Dean frowned as he grabbed a water bottle. "Why haven't you said anything?" He uncapped the bottle and handed it to Cas, watching to check if his hands shook.
Castiel didn't reply right away but instead took the water bottle from Dean a little unsteady but still drank some. The cold liquid felt good and calming in a way, his body having drained out from sweating and crying.
"Not used to someone being there. To go to,” Castiel said when he pulled it away from his lips and held the plastic bottle.
"Well... I'm here," Dean replied awkwardly. "Uh, if you're up to talking about it... What was the nightmare about?"
Castiel showed him a grateful smile but looked down a bit. "Memories mainly. Being an angel... I lived through and saw a lot."
Dean grimaced. "That's gotta suck. There's a lot up there isn't there?"
Castiel nodded slowly. "Lot of bad. Things an angel's mind wouldn't have a problem with."
Dean looked at his friend with concern. "But now that you're human..."
Castiel bit his lip. "Not so great."
Dean sighed softly. "Wait here, I'll be right back." He got up and left the room.
Castiel watched Dean leave before looking around the room. There were guns and knives and other weapons on the walls, but Castiel felt safe. The room felt safe, and his head dropped a little onto the pillow on his lap as he was sitting slightly slouched over.
Dean soon came back, carrying a grocery bag. "I've had this hidden in the Impala," he explained. "So, Sam didn't find it." He sat next to Cas and pulled out a bar of dark chocolate. "You wanna try it? Sometimes something sweet helps me calm down after a bad dream."
Castiel looked over at him, then the bar. "Sure." He took it from Dean's hand and just looked at it before unwrapping it. "Haven't had many sweets yet," he murmured.
"Gotta fix that," Dean replied softly. "I'll take you out for ice cream or something tomorrow, if you're up for it."
"That sounds nice," Castiel agreed softly, the idea chasing away some of the bad memories. He then took a bite of the chocolate. It was kind of hard and broke off with a soft crack but started chewing it, melting slowly in his mouth. "Mm."
"You like it?" Dean asked.
"Mhm, yeah," Castiel nodded, swallowing. It was sweet but not too much. Made sense if that's where the 'dark' part came in.
"Good.” Suddenly Dean was nervous. "Hey, uh... if you don't want to go sleep on your own... you can stay here."
Castiel looked up from the bar and at Dean for a moment. "You'd let me stay?" He asked uncertain.
"Well..." Dean looked away sheepishly. "I know how rattled nightmares can make someone... I wouldn’t want to be alone right now, so why would I force you to be?"
Castiel was quiet for a bit. He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable with the situation, but he had offered it. And if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to be alone right now. "I'd like to stay," he said, the pillow he brought still with him. He hadn't completely thought it through or why he took it, but maybe Castiel had already been hoping he could sleep here.
"Alright," Dean smiled. "We can stay awake as long as you want. I wasn't getting to sleep anytime soon anyways, so..."
"What else do you have?" Castiel asked, looking down at the grocery bag Dean had.
"Well, there's this," Dean pulled out a bottle of coca cola. "But it has caffeine so if you want to sleep, you have to wait.
"I'd prefer not to sleep, though I probably should," Castiel said and took another bite of the chocolate.
"Fair choice," Dean nodded. "You thinking you might try after you finish the chocolate or wait a little longer?"
"Depends," Castiel mumbled before he swallowed. He felt better near Dean. It was helping easing a slope to drowsiness that he needed. Castiel hadn't had a proper night's rest in too long for a human. But he still had some chocolate left.
"On?" Dean raised a brow.
"Whether I pass out," Castiel told him, eye lids feeling heavy. "Been a while... might fall asleep the moment I lay down."
"Hey, okay," Dean laughed slightly at his friend's fatigue. He gently edged the rest of the candy from his hand and dropped it on the bedside table. "Let's get you laying down, yeah?”
"Bad dreams," Castiel whispered, half burying his face in the while pillow.
"I'll protect you," Dean promised without thinking about the words he just said. Cas was so different from the stoic and emotionless angel he had been before the fall. Seeming so fragile and Dean just wanted to keep him safe. "Come on, you look about ready to pass out now anyways."
It was true. Castiel was about to start having trouble keeping his eyes open. But if he closed them, he just saw all the bad and horrible from his life. But the 'I'll protect you', calms him down for some reason.
“Alright,” Castiel agreed.
Dean smiled affectionately. "There ya go. Come on, lay down, alright?" He tried to guide Cas to lay down, to put his head down.
Castiel nodded and slide back a bit on the bed following Dean. He laid down on the pillow and moments later he was lights out.
Dean shook his head lightly and his smile fell as he looked at his friend. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept. Even now, he didn't seem to be at peace. He found a blanket - Cas was laying on most of them - and laid it over his friend before getting under the portion of his covers that Cas wasn't on. But that felt wrong, so he wiggled out and, in a quick, irrational, not thinking decision, he got under Cas' blanket and pulled him close.
Wow. This was... just two friends, Dean told himself. Just two friends in one bed. He needs it. Dean tried to ignore the heat in his face, the fact that he'd been dreaming of something similar to this happening. It wouldn't last, he knew. Just for tonight. So just for tonight, Dean pulled Cas close, buried his nose in his hair to memorize his scent, and pretended that this would continue past this night.
Cas seemed to cure his inability to fall asleep as, hardly any time later, he slipped off to sleep.
Castiel's dreams had come back, starting unpleasant slowly. Looks on people's face, other angels' faces. The terror and hatred and fear from whatever was happening. Castiel couldn't concentrate on any of it, couldn't think straight.
But then it started seeping away. The pain, the anger, it melted off and in replace was a version of tomorrow. Getting ice cream with Dean, taking a walk, clearing his head and just being there with just him.
In the real world, Cas had a few tears running down his face again. But leaned forward on his side and cuddled closer to the man next to him.
‘Protect me please…’