Chapter Text
Very early in the morning of January 8th, Bo Sheep was woken up by the sweet melody of “I Hate Everything About You” by Three Days Grace on his phone. Bo knew it was his sister, but he also wanted to finish sleeping so he tried to ignore it.
The ringtone repeated itself louder and louder to the point that sleeping through it became impossible.
Well, I’ll just have to drink extra tea today, thought Bo as he groaned and rolled out of his soft bed with purple covers.
What had possessed Sis to call so damn early on their birthday of all days?
Bo walked over to where he’d left his phone last night, over by his window set of plants.
Bo finally picked up the still-ringing phone and yawned over it to his sister.
“Like, Happy Birthday, sis,” he droned sleepily.
“Same to you, brother. I left you a package. You should go open it.”
Bo walked across the room to his door and opened it. Outside the ground was icy and gray, matching the early January sky perfectly. Luckily, Bo didn’t have to walk on the icy ground, as Lanolin had placed the package right on his doormat.
Bo’s eyes widened at the sight of the package in question-it was wrapped with sparkly neon pink wrapping paper tipped with a sparkly purple bow. He thought it beautiful, but of course he couldn’t be seen taking in a package like this. He quickly looked all around him before picking up the package and taking it inside his little house-what if Orson, Roy, hell even Booker saw him take ownership of such a girly package?
Once back inside Bo took a moment to appreciate the bright happy colors of the package. Such colors brought him a lot of joy, even though as an adult ram he couldn’t wear them without being one of THOSE people.
“You love it, don’t you?” blared Lanolin’s voice over Bo’s phone.
“Yes, I, like, do, thank you so much sis, but…” Bo lowered his already-soft voice to a whisper, “...why’d you, like, have the pink sparkly wrapping paper, like, right on the outside where everyone could’ve, like, seen it, sis?”
“No one’s UP at this hour to see it, brother! Besides, clearly you like it. You’ve loved those colors since we were tiny lambs.”
“Like, touche, sis.”
“I’ll give you a few minutes to open and look at everything, okay?”
Bo sighed. “Okay, sis. Love you.”
He hung up and turned to the rosy-wrapped box sitting on the desk in his room. Bo made sure to very carefully remove the paper and bow so that they stayed in one piece for him to admire later.
Now, there was just a brown paper box from The Place With Everything. Bo used scissors to cut open the tape sealing the brown box shut.
The contents were something Bo both loved and dreaded.
There was an orange knit beanie with a yellow knit daisy on it.
There was a pale pink beanie with both hot pink stripes and a hot pink bow on it.
There was a sparkly bright teal beanie with a sequined snowflake on it.
There was a beautiful scarf with spring-colored flowers all over it.
There was a long, bright red windbreaker, dress length, with a booth part that flared out like a skirt.
AND there were a pair of bright purple boots with hot pink laces.
Bo oohed and ahhed at every last item.
However, he couldn’t wear any of the pieces. It would be far too unbecoming of him to waste time crossdressing.
“BRRRING!” It was a text.
Bo opened his phone.
“Hows ur present” It was Lanolin.
Bo laboriously texted a response to her.
“They’re pretty, but not practical enough, sis.”
“BS those all have full weather capability n u know it”
“I can’t wear them, sis.”
“YES U CAN CLOSE UR CURTAINS 2 WEAR THEM”
Bo didn’t respond.
“U know i saw u staring at those like i stare at ewe ass bro”
Bo sighed and slowly texted back.
“I only did that so I wouldn’t look like I was staring at YOUR ass, sis. It’s creepy when we obviously look so much alike…kind of like siblings, in fact.”
“God”
Bo got another text from Lanolin.
“Ur not a masc ram n we both know it bro”
And another one.
“Why hide”
Yet another one.
“I dont hide”
Bo decided to text back.
“You’re not an adult ram who likes girly things, sis.”
“So? U do stuff like paint colors”
Bo sighed. Lanolin texted him again.
“Thats not masc bro”
Bo wanted to roll his eyes, but he decided to use his limited energy to text Lanolin back instead.
“What IS masculine to you, sis, fighting people? Sounds like a miserable existence to me, sis.”
“NO masc is not looking at bright colors n sparkles like u want to wear it bro”
“Seriously, give me an example of masculinity that isn’t violent, sis.”
“Sports”
“Dancing is a sport, sis.”
“How abt football”
“Fine, I’ll take it.”
Bo sighed as he looked over the recent texts again. His phone rang as another text from Lanolin appeared on his phone.
“U dont even like the boots? U love purple right?”
“Yes I like purple, sis, but not with HOT PINK LACES!”
“Goddamn ur such a baby”
“PINK LACES, sis, are PINK LACES seriously a good idea on a ram in RURAL INDIANA?”
“Goddamn theres some other colors inside the boots bro”
“You could have warned me before I opened the package, sis!”
“Wow y r u so pissy at me”
“You know I’m sensitive about the colors of my stuff, sis!”
“Y tho”
“YOU KNOW WHY, SIS.”
“Bc you cant handle that ur fem rt”
“Shut up!”
“Baby”
“Am not.”
“U wish u werent”
“Fuck off, sis.”
“Its 5:54 already lol”
“FUCK!”
“Hahahahahaha lol”
Bo shut off his phone in anger. His birthday was off to such a great start!
Before stepping out of the main room to get ready Bo took another look at the girly things Lanolin had given him for his birthday.
He decided to take the scarf and put it in his pocket.