Chapter Text
17 May, 1884
I’m going to murder the man myself, rent be damned! I’ve had enough of these antics, it’s horrible for my heart! I’ve had it, I swear, I’ve had it! The identity of the so-called ‘stalker’ is just Sholmes!
This morning, we were woken by a frightful scream coming from below the flat. I instantly recognized it as poor Mrs. Hudson, so I ran as fast as I could to see how I could help her. The moment I saw her, the poor old woman turned white and clamped onto me with the strength of ten men. I tried as best as I could to calm her, because she couldn’t get another word in edgewise, instead she pointed at her ajar door into the flat. I instructed her to stay outside while I went in to examine what had happened inside. I could see that her bedchamber was open, and from what I could see it was an absolute mess inside.
“Some horrible creature broke in!” Mrs. Hudson said, finally gathering her resolve. “I saw the awful man leaving the window with one of my dresses!”
Of course, I was taken aback by this statement. None of her jewellery had been tampered with, nor had her moneybox been taken out of the armoire, just a blue dress of hers.
“What a dreadful wretch, frightening an old woman like that!” She shouted. “What would someone want with one of my dresses?!”
It was then that Sholmes just meandered down the hall, enjoying an apple and asking about the commotion. Mrs. Hudson explained what I was doing, and with one look inside, he simply shrugged his shoulders and laughed loudly (and what a laugh, I’ll never forget it!)
“Why, Mrs. Hudson, there’s nothing to worry about, it will all resolve itself by day’s end!”
He then left, only inquiring about breakfast and nothing more. I had stayed behind to help Mrs. Hudson clean up the mess that the burglar had left behind, and I most certainly didn’t tell Sholmes about the extra pastries she was planning on serving today.
That incident this morning nearly escaped my mind when I went to a nearby pub to meet with Genshin and Seishirou. They’re both doing very well for themselves; Genshin has been working closely with a hopeful for the Director of Prosecutions, while Seishirou has been working closely with the Lord Chief Justice himself. I admit, I am extremely jealous of them both. It seems their lodging has been more favourable than mine…
Anyway, just as we were served our first round of pints, Seishirou and Genshin were already snickering at something behind me.
“Who knew we were sitting with such an eligible bachelor?” Seishirou guffawed.
“Don’t look now, but there’s some lady in blue that’s been staring at you intently!” Genshin added.
Despite their poking and prodding (and as if I can just forget about Ayame?! Good heavens, they’re hopeless…), I turned and nearly screamed.
Right there, at the bar, was a woman who covered her face with a fan. However, the dress matched exactly the description that Mrs. Hudson had given to me that morning! I covered my face with my hat and hunched over the table, hoping and praying that I hadn’t been spotted.
Unfortunately, judging by how awful my friends are at stifling their glee at my expense, we were approached.
“Really, man, how many blasted disguises must I go through for you to catch on?!” Sholmes asked.
“When you learn how to wear a wig properly, Sholmes…” I snipped back.
“So I forget a pin or two, I’d like to have it back sometime, by-the-by!” Sholmes continued before twirling in the stolen dress. “Though I have to admit, I never considered the possibility of blue against my complexion!”
“Why did you have to steal the landlady’s dress?” There was no hiding my mortification, I could see confusion and, dare I say, amusement in my friends’ faces through my fingers.
My face was red hot, but my anger was ten times stronger!
“Really now, I made it terribly easy with that ‘S’ in the wood!” Sholmes blathered on. “Don’t you think it clever of me? Disguises are such a wonderful thing!”
“And I thought the escape from the asylum in this morning’s paper was unsuccessful,” Jigoku muttered.
“As for your query about the dress, I’ve been absolutely bored out of my mind!” Sholmes said. “Absolutely bored, and nothing has been able to catch my fancy! And as I told Mrs. Hudson, the matter will be resolved by day’s end!”
It was then that I had noticed how dilated Sholmes’ eyes were, how full of energy he suddenly had compared to the past few weeks. I remember thinking back to what he told me the day we had met, how he gets down in the ‘dumps’. Unfortunately, I believe this is the worst that these ‘dumps’ have to offer, and it’s far worse than my imagination could have possibly conceived.
As quietly as I possibly could, I demanded to know how much he had managed to consume, and he simply said, “The joy of the seven percent solution!”
With an inflated sense of bravado, he marched up to the biggest man he could see and demanded a bout of fisticuffs. Rightfully thinking that the man was inebriated, he refused until Sholmes emptied his glass and slammed it bottom up onto the table. Evidently there’s some unspoken rule, or the man was (rightfully) cross with Sholmes for wasting the drink.
Even in his state, Sholmes can put up a decent fight ( Dare I say I was impressed at how fast he could move in a dress? ). Other patrons started cheering and got in on the brawl once one of them bumped into their drinks, including Seishirou who had managed to crack a tabletop.
I can at least say that I am grateful to Genshin for helping me drag Sholmes out of this mess. I do hope that this incident doesn’t reflect poorly on any of us.
Somehow we returned home without getting Mrs. Hudson’s attention, it would be very awkward to explain why Sholmes was in her stolen dress. I can hear him retching and heaving in the water closet. Luckily, it seems he will be fine save for nursing a rather horrible headache during the next morning.
I never want to see these ‘dumps’ again, as a physician and as Sholmes’ flatmate (Dare I say friend? Or am I desperately lonely?), he wasn’t like himself at all.
Good heavens, this man will kill himself out of boredom’s sake if I leave him out of my sight.