Chapter Text
Cor Lapis Dentist Industries, Liyue
On a moonlit night, a figure hiding in the shadows approached a dentist building. Perhaps he wanted a tooth removed? That is what a dentist does.
But the briefcase told otherwise.
“Meshi, pleasure meeting you here.”
The man turned to his fellow coworker, clutching the briefcase tightly. The appearance of his friend was unprecedented.
“What are you doing outside? Shouldn’t you be-“ Meshi was interrupted by the coworker shushing him.
“Celebrating your big day! The boss went on about how your mission was the most important,” The coworker said, “Surely you are going to enjoy yourself tonight?”
Meshi was confused by the happy tone.
“I have to get this to boss- y’know,” Meshi shrugged, “Important business. Don’t know why he told you of all people.”
“Oh, lighten up! C’mon, a few drinks right down the road couldn’t hurt!” The coworker put his arm around Meshi, smiling.
He shrugged the coworker off.
“Honestly, I should deliver this-“
The coworker pulled on Meshi’s sleeve.
“I’m sure the boss won’t give you free drinks for your mission,” he shrugged, “One time offer.”
He offered his hand.
Meshi sighed.
“It’s only down the street,” he shrugged, giving in. He was practically dragged by his coworker to a nearby bar.
Meshi’s briefcase still remained clutched in his palms. How could one drink hurt?
It turned out that Meshi got drunk easily, after only one bottle- he had already forgotten the briefcase.
He spun around on his barstool, getting ready to raise another complaint.
“I really should get a raise, after hauling this info all the way from Lisha!” Misha complained, as his coworker poured another drink for him.
“What a hard journey.”
The coworker gave him a sympathetic smile, sending him onto another rant. The bar was empty except for the two of them.
The bartender had already left for the night after a hefty tip from the coworker. Meshi didn’t mind, as it meant he could say whatever he wanted.
But walls have ears. So did his coworker.
“Using the dentist industry as a secret base? Honestly, such a useless idea. How would dentists help get dirt on the government?” Meshi’s cheeks were bright red.
He coughed before returning his cowoker’s grin.
“Who knew having pictures of a minister throwing his trash in the ocean could ruin his life, right?” The coworker laughed, and Meshi joined in.
“Right! The boss will love my haul! No one has even seen these pictures-“
A frightened look grew on Meshi’s face.
Perhaps there was a spark of intelligence in his drunken brain. It wasn’t enough to see the punch coming for his gut, though.
He groaned in pain as his “coworker” hit his neck.
The coworker laughed at the unconscious Meshi, and ripped off their face. Instead of killing him, she just let him slump against the chair, unconscious.
He would return to his boss disappointed, and possibly earn him a demotion.
A well-made face disguise was cast to the floor, joining the spilled alcohol.
What remained was no one other than The Captain.
The woman with a thousand faces, able to change her personality to manipulate anyone. Two traits remained stagnant between all her disguises.
Her love of alcohol and a rowdy personality.
For this particular mission, she had to steal the briefcase full of incriminating photos of an Inazuma minister.
If it was released, it would cause Beidou’s boss to be very upset. Partly because it could end up revealing their whole organization.
The Captain couldn’t care less, since it gave her an opportunity to drink .
Even after gaining alcohol tolerance, she could still play drunk. It was thrilling to the spy.
Meshi briefly saw that side of her, being so drunk that he barely noticed anything that went on around him.
She grabbed the briefcase and made her way out, chuckling to herself.
Another mission passed without a hitch.
————
After the briefcase was secured, The Captain was given another mission almost immediately.
A mission that only she was capable of, apparently. The Crux really adored her.
So she was sent on the next boat to Narukami Island in Inazuma.
Her instructions remained unread, as she was saving them for a surprise. For now, The Captain could only guess what her mission would be.
Perhaps taking down an enemy organization, or stealing info from a government official.
She assumed it would probably have something to do with the Sakoku Decree.
An infamous decree instated by the council of Inazuma, which had isolated Inazuma from tourists and other governments. No one knew what they were planning, and how long they were planning on staying isolated.
That was a problem.
It also had the government investigate everyone who wasn’t a local, which unfortunately outed many spies in the same organization The Captain was in.
So her new name was Beidou Fabrico, and she was part of marketing management for a reputable alcohol company. She liked how it rhymes.
And the reputable Beidou was hiding in the cargo part of a ship.
It might be a little cramped, but it kept her safe. After she had landed, she would sneak off after everyone else had gotten off. And from then on, she had always lived in Inazuma.
Now, it was time for Beidou to finally glance at her mission. It was hidden inside a newspaper given to her by a informat.
It was easy to burn and very nonchalant, yet she didn’t need to hide it in the cargo storage.
Congratulations on your recent success, Captain. Unfortunately, our agent that was supposed to receive this mission was compromised. So we passed it onto you.
Beidou turned the page of the newspaper.
Your target is the Raiden Shogun, one of the more influential people in the Inazuman government. She has endangered many of our crew through the Sakoku Degree, and has personally found spies using her elite bodyguards.
Your mission is to befriend the Raiden Shogun and investigate her activities. To accomplish this act, your first mission is to…
Have a child and get married.
Beidou’s eyes widened as she reread her goal. Perhaps getting married was not one of the possibilities she had in mind for a spy mission.
There was more, though.
The Raiden Shogun is rarely seen in public. Some of her only apparences are at events held at the prestigious school that her son attends.
Those events also feature many prominent political and business figures. Your child is to enroll into this school so you can infiltrate those events.
Also, the enrollment ends in a week.
“Are you serious?!” Beidou said out loud, a hint of outrage in her voice. No one else was around to hear it.
A child in a week- no, a child and a marriage. Beidou thought it was bullshit.
Perhaps the agent who was supposed to receive this mission was already married and had an intelligent kid.
She spent the rest of the boat ride thinking about possible ways to get married in a week under a new identity.
—————————
“This family-sized apartment is perfect for all of your needs, including a TV! Your neighbors are also law-abiding citizens, and are great..”
As the real estate agent went on and on about the apartment, Beidou noticed how he refused to look her directly in the eye. Intimidated by my eyepatch. Just like everyone else.
In order to look more like a part of a “marketing department”, she had her hair in a bun with a fancy golden pin holding it together and wore clothes from a reputable fashion place near the boat stop. But she still kept her eyepatch.
A resemblance of herself in her new life.
“I’ll take it,” Beidou finally said, shutting the real estate guy up. He gave her a fake smile and handed her some paperwork.
The apartment was in a nondescript building near a shopping center, and had never had anyone famous stay at it. Yet it was still nice, wooden floors and a TV.
There were also three rooms, since she didn’t want whoever spent time here to accidentally find any of the spy gear.
“So, where’s the rest of your family?” he asked, handing Beidou the keys.
“I’ll find them soon,” she replied.
He gave her an odd look before leaving the apartment.
After having that settled, Beidou went out on the town for the quest of a child.
The specific requirements she envisioned were: six or over, could read and write, and was somewhat smart. She wasn’t the greatest at studying, and if this child wasn’t either- she could buy off the answers from an informant.
The nearest one in Inazuma City was Yoimiya, a professional in that field. Perhaps she could be a stand-in for a marriage.
Eh, it could end up getting Yoimiya busted. Maybe for a last resort.
Anyways, the Captain finally arrived at a very poor-managed orphanage further away from the capital. One of the gates was unhinged and lying on the floor.
After looking at all of the orphanages in a book, this one was listed on the back cover in small print. A perfect match.
“Helllo?” Beidou called out into the hallway, “I'm looking to adopt.”
After a minute or so of waiting, someone finally came out.
It was a kid.
“Are- are you in charge here?” Beidou asked. I guess this is why it’s so sketchy.
“No. The other guy is sleeping with the fishies,” the kid responded, staring Beidou straight in the eye. He’s dead?!
The kid led Beidou into a different room. A grown, short, and drunk man was lying on the couch. Adopting a kid from this guy… maybe I should go to a different orphanage.
Pictures of crudely drawn fish were stuck with tape on the walls. Some other animals included something she assumed was a dog, a parrot, and…
“That one’s a pirate!” the kid answered for her, and picked off the picture and held it up to Beidou’s face.
It was most definitely not a pirate. It was unclear what it was supposed to be.
“Did you draw this?” she asked, and the kid started to nod. Yeesh. I don’t know if drawing skills will be tested, but I don’t want a kid with that kind of skill.
“No, no! I didn’t draw this. It was… his drawing,” the kid pointed to the drunken man. Yeah, right.
“Hm..?” the man had woken up, and looked surprised at Beidou’s appearance.
“I’m here to adopt a kid that can read and write,” she said, “My partner and I-”
“Take him,” the guy pointed over to the kid who had brought Beidou here, “Kazuha likes to know big words.”
He’s a smart ass. The guy sneered at Kazuha.
Beidou glanced at the kid. His hair was a really unnatural white, with a red stripe in the middle. He had big eyes.
“How old are you?” she asked him. It seemed to be a thought-provoker for Kazuha. He honestly doesn’t look a day over five for how short this Kazuha kid is. But I’d have to hope this place has a six year old.
“Six!” he exclaimed, holding up seven fingers. Kazuha noticed this and corrected his mistake.
“Do I need to sign anything?” Beidou turned to the drunk man, who shrugged.
“Take em’,” he answered, and slouched back on the couch. Kazuha glanced back up at Beidou, this time staring directly at her eyepatch.
If you weren’t such a cute kid, I would kill you where you stand. Beidou bent down and pet Kazuha on his head.
His eyes widened in fear.
The young boy was in fact an esper, being able to read the minds of people and animals around him.
Though it was not a pleasant process to gain those powers. After cruel experimentation upon the poor kid, he had eventually escaped with his mind powers.
If he used them for good or evil was still to be determined.
Beidou led the young esper back to her apartment.
“I’m Mama, right? You’ve been my child for a long time-no, forever,” she said, bending down to his level.
“Right! Kazuha will help!” he answered, and they both went into the apartment.
The young boy was immediately fascinated by the TV.
“Does it work?” Kazuha asked, pointing to the TV, “The one back there didn’t have a screen in it…”
“It better work,” Beidou remarked, and turned one of the knobs to the right. A show immediately blared music in her face, igniting her fight or flight response.
Unfortunately, the TV was now smashed. Kazuha stared at the broken TV and Beidou’s bleeding fist.
“Uh… we’ll get a new one. Whoops,” she laughed and went over to a cabinet with bandaids. I have an unlimited budget. Hope they don’t mind me buying a new TV.
My spy mission is important enough for a new TV. Maybe even a recliner. Or coffee maker.
While Beidou was bandaging her fist and thinking about things she could buy, Kazuha glanced at the flier she left on the couch. It was for Sakura Academy.
The academy that the Raiden Shogun’s son was going to attend.
“I have to take a test?” Kazuha said, and Beidou turned to him.
“Oh, right! Yeah, you do… I’ll get some books-” she sighed, “That’s boring, though.”
“I can read!” Kazuha said, “I’ve read a lot of books!”
“Right. But I can get those books anyday,” Beidou said, “You need to be tested on your physical performance.”
Kazuha looked at her like she was crazy. What is Mama implying?
“It might be on the test!”
-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-
Beidou had brought the kid to a shipyard, with plenty of cargo boxes to jump on.
“Climb up that box,” she commanded. Easy enough for me.
“What?” Kazuha stared at the giant box in front of him.
“You never know what that academy could quiz you on!” she flashed him a smile.
Mama’s going to murder me through exercise.
He jumped onto the pipe connected to the box and slowly started shuffling his way up. One foot at a time, using all the upper strength the young boy could muster to pull himself up.
Kazuha glanced up, and Beidou was on top already, staring at him.
“Good job!” she cheered. Pathetic. I got up here in a second.
He slid back down the pole.
Which led Beidou to keep encouraging Kazuha to climb.
After some minutes, Kazuha made it up. It was perhaps a bit too tall for a six-year old.
But that didn’t matter to Beidou. All that mattered was that her child was in shape.
The next challenge awaited.
“Pushups!” she said enthusiastically. Kazuha groaned. Maybe one hundred. That is small enough. A hundred push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and a ten kilometer run should be good.
“I don’t wanna,” Kazuha complained, crossing his arms, “Can’t we read? Or I can study with books. And no pushups.”
“Aw, c’mon,” Beidou shot him a glare, “Being in shape young sets you up for life!”
Studying is for nerds.
And so Kazuha was forced to endure Beidou’s training for about an hour, until the sun set.
When walking back to the apartment, she decided to stop by the library to pick up some books. Kazuha was nodding asleep, slowly walking next to the Captain.
“Here,” Beidou said, and picked up Kazuha next to the stack of books. He immediately started snoring on her shoulder as they went home.
A couple of days passed- consisting of studying and trying to convince a repairman that their TV had broken in an earthquake.
What Kazuha had said himself was true- he enjoyed reading. It meant Beidou had to lay around, bored.
“I’m going out to go shopping,” she finally said, and got up from the couch, “You want anything?”
“A boat!” Kazuha looked up, “A really expensive boat!”
“Perhaps,” she replied, actually considering Kazuha’s proposition. You never know when you might need a boat.
Beidou left the young kid inside and went to visit the grocery store.
“Oh, hey!”
Yoimiya called out to Beidou, rushing over.
“How’s your mission going?” she asked quietly.
“Excellent. I have a child,” Beidou answered, crossing her arms, “The test is only like in- uhm- lemme check.”
“Tomorrow,” Yoimiya said, and took Beidou’s list of groceries.
Shit.
“Are you really going to feed your child just bread, dried peas, and fish? You have an unlimited budget!” she read off the list.
“I don’t want the people upstairs to be too mad at me,” Beidou shrugged, and continued to walk into the store. Those cost less than a TV.
“Let me shop for you,” Yoimiya insisted, “So your child gets a healthy diet. Or at least not a sailor’s diet.”
“Hey! I know how to raise a child!” Beidou complained, trying to take back the list from Yoimiya.
“Right, right,” Yoimiya skillfully dodged each of her attempts to grab the grocery list, “Also. Here’s a ticket for the test.”
“I’d probably need that,” Beidou thanked her, and pocketed the invitation. They both went back into the grocery store.
Beidou eventually gave in, buying more fancy ingredients from the store with Yoimiya’s help. When she eventually made it home, Kazuha was still reading books.
“I got food,” Beidou said, opening the door, “And a boat.”
“Really?!” Kazuha exclaimed, glancing up from a book. Beidou handed him a small, toy boat.
“Not a real one, but close enough,” she stated. Kazuha still seemed enthused by the small boat. It cost as much as the bread.
☆Sakura Academy- The Day of the Test☆
Beidou and a lot of concerned parents sat outside the test hall, either head in hands or leaning against the wall, biting their thumb. Beidou was too enthused by the fancy architecture in the waiting room- even spotting embedded gold.
It seemed Kazuha was having a much harder time than her.
One of the downsides of reading minds was being in a crowded room. The overwhelming amount of voices all ontop of each other could give anyone a headache.
And on a test day with a bunch of six year olds, it consisted of a lot of what does this word mean? and A B B B B.. that can’t be right!
Kazuha was able to solve the problems eventually, though doubting himself while others glaring voices thought of different answers than he had.
After the test, Beidou took Kazuha out for ice cream to pre-celebrate his success.
While everyone else who had taken or paid for the quiz was holding their breath for two days.
The scores were released on a giant board outside Sakura Academy.
The letter and number given for Kazuha was O-029. So it brought on a search throughout the leaderboard.
“O-012, O-020… Oh my archon!” Beidou exclaimed, and Kazuha glanced up at Beidou.
O-029 was on the list.
“Yes! YES!” she cheered, “I didn’t fail!”
“Me neither!” Kazuha laughed, and Beidou spun him around in a circle before hugging Kazuha.
Maybe this mission won’t be as hard!
It seemed both of them had forgotten Beidou’s other mission, though:
To get married.