Chapter Text
The space was suffocatingly dark.
Static in its unyielding emptiness, no breeze, no light, or even temperature. The darkness may as well have been the yawning maw of the deepest reaches of space if not for the glaring lack of stars, of anything, really…or, well, almost anything.
There was but one exception and it came in the form of a tall rectangular mirror, its prestin, glossy surface reflected a young timid looking boy in an oversized white t-shirt and navet boxer like shorts.
Him.
Eugene.
His auburn brown hair and dull brown eyes un-obscured from behind usually worn round silver framed glasses stared back from the reflection of the crystalline surface.
'Horrible.'
'Terrible.'
'Waste of space.'
Eugene wanted to snarl and rip at the glass reflection which similarly looked like it wanted to do the same right back at him, but he'd long since learned that there was nothing he could do to it, or himself while in 'That Place'.
That Place.
His dreams.
He'd been having these dreams for years now. Long enough that on waking, he could remember every detail. Not that there was much to remember mind you. The space of his dreams never changed, it was always dark and never cold or warm. But as always, there were exceptions, like the reflective mirror, there was him. As time moved forward and he grew ever so slightly older, his dream self would morph and change as well. It wasn't as if he could just stop.
Stop being his useless stuttering self.
Stop breathing–
Stop existing.
Or well…
He could.
But–
As if through a haze, Eugene could see his reflection begin to look around the great expanse of darkness in a panic, his breaths now coming in short stuttered gasps as his eyes fluttered up, down, left and right before jerking forward and stopping. With trembling shoulders and one small hiccup, his Dream Self gazed into the mirror, and Eugene watched as his already dull eyes somehow darkness even further, now the color of molasses under barely there light.
'I–' he thought with an air of detachment,
"–Hate myself."
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Eugene sat up from sweaty sheets with a gasp as early morning sunbeams flickered lately through his semi parted curtains.
"That d-dream again…"
Looking down at his covered feet, he twitched slightly at the feeling of minor pain coming from his fingers, and noticed that he'd yet again been fisting his bed covers as he slept.
With a small wince and a tired sigh, he unclenched his hands slowly before moving to slump over the edge of his bed, feet and hands finally free from his weighted blanket. A last gift from his parents before they'd u–
'No.' he thought resolutely, 'Not the time...'
With a shake of his head and a glance at the clock, he picked up his glasses and got up to start the day.
After a quick shower and throwing on another one of his many generic white t-shirts, Eugene briefly glanced to the wall above his bed where a few other sweatshirts and cardigans rested on a nailed in hook board before grimacing and turning his back.
Sometimes…sometimes he wished he was more brave, more outgoing, more…more.
But…he was just Eugene.
Thirteen, no, fourteen now.* Barely scraping by and so, so lonely.
With yet another world weary sigh, Eugene grabbed his beloved well worn burgundy hoodie and slipped it on. Exiting his cluttered room revealed a clean- if slightly dusty- miniature hallway, white walls and a slightly moss green carpet lined the walls and floors. Off to his left was a dark brown wood door which led to the only bathroom in their- his apartment.
Midway through the hallway lay a small square chestnut wood table decorated with a small Borage flower plant he'd been given by the nice lady who owned the flower shop he walked by every day on his way to and from school as he'd looked:
"In need of some courage–" according to her.
Well, he wasn't sure what to make of it, but the beautiful purple star shaped flowers definitely livened up the hallway as well as pushed him to leave his room on the weekends when he knew it was time to water the little ones.
Thinking of the small flowers also reminded him of the older woman and her soft smiles and happy personality. Which always brought the briefest of smiles to his now usually inexpressive face. Of course…the moment was never to last as his eyes slid past it and towards the far end of the hallway where a door played closed as it had for months now.
That was–
Their room.
Any small bit of happiness that lingered in him from the kind memory of the flower shop owner quickly wilted and withered away.
It was the same struggle every day…having to walk past their door day in and out always brought his mood down.
(And if it was just another reason for him to stay out longer and longer so as not to return here….well, it's not like anyone was ever home to tell him 'No.' anyways).
Clutching at the edges of his oversized hoodie, he flipped his hood on over his head and tightened the strings.
"O-okay…" he breathed out, "It's…it's just like e-every other day…"
Taking a deep if shaky breath, and holding it, Eugene stiffly walked past the bathroom door, past the chestnut wood table, and finally– finally, past the always shut dark wood door and turned left.
Away from lingering bad memories and the feeling of loneliness so deep he feared it cut pieces straight out of his soul.
After letting out his breath and wiggling out his stiff arms and legs, he stood at a sort of crossroad, on his left was a moderately sized living room with a finely dusted black leather two seater couch. An oval shaped glass table with a black painted wood base sat Infront of the couch where on the wall facing the couch was a wall mounted flat screen TV, also equally dusty and unused. With a curl of his lips, Eugene bypassed all of it in barely hidden disgust and sped walked his way to the far wall where a large window overlooking the other side of the street lay. Parting the heavy curtains and opening the window partly so some sunlight could get in, he walked back across the room only to pause in the center of his small apartment home- no, house? Living Area?
'Huh.' he paused briefly, '…Roof.'
Yes, Roof.
Because this wasn't much of a home…with no one there except himself, and the plant…so.
"So…"
Sighing, Eugene looked up from where he'd inevitably started staring a hole into the floor and cast a brief look into the kitchen.
Rumble Rumble
'Eh?'
Rumble Rumble!
"Is t-that…?"
Reaching into his short's pocket only to remember that he hadn't put it there or even charged his phone yesterday,- ghosh, he was a mess- had him staring unseeingly at nothing for the briefest of moments in utter dismay before more ominous rumbling was heard coming from directly below him.
Jumping up in shock, he almost tripped over his socked feet before scrabbling backwards and ways from the kitchen. Heart nearly at his throat Eugene clutched both his sweater covered hands on his chest and breathed, in one, two, three…out, four, five, six. Repeating this, a few times he was able to calm himself down long enough to notice that the rumbling sound wasn't coming from around or even from below him.
It was coming from him.
"..."
He was hungry.
"..."
Sighing, Eugene already knew that he didn't have much in the way of food in the fridge, and his pantry was woefully bare. It had been a week or two since he'd been able to go to the local corner market to shop, and of course rent and utilities were coming up in another week as well…
'Future me problem…' Eugene thought before shoving the problem with paying ANYTHING into a small metal box and locking it away for later contemplation.
Looking away from the fridge and door to the outside, he walked over to the seldom used kitchen table and picked up his backpack and phone from where he'd tossed it on the chair and table respectfully the night previous.
Forty Percent Battery
"Darn…"
Turning off the phone but not before glancing at the time:
6:30AM
He pocketed his phone and shrugged on his dark brown backpack before heading off towards the door and kneeling down briefly to put on his ankle high brown shoes. Tapping them once each at the tips, Eugene opened the door and headed out.
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After making sure his monthly tram pass was secured underneath his hoodie, Eugene all but slumped in his custamery by the exit seat.
At such an early hour, most commuters knew who sat where and when even if they themselves never spoke a word to each other.
It was nice, and more importantly, quite.
"Ugh…I'm…so sleepy…"
Well, that didn't last long.
Eugene didn't bother shifting from his slumped sitting position, but he did angle his head ever so slightly before twitching a bit in shock.
'What!'
That was…Luke. Yes, Luke. How could it not be? Only he wore a bright yellow sweater yearound…and even if it was very much like Eugene to spend most of his transit- and school time- in a haze of disassociation even he knew that Luke didn't usually take the train.
'Weird…'
Moving his head slowly, Eugene looked in front of himself and used the reflective glass of the train window on the opposite side to look at his side, and…
Yup.
That was Luke alright.
Curled in on himself and using his backpack as an uncomfortable pillow. He really did look like he could use a few hours-
'Or days.'- of sleep.
Eugene wasn't given a chance to contemplate further as the automated station attendant's voice drowned out that it was 'Uptown Station'.
'Well…Time to get off…'
After disembarking the train, Eugene quickly made his way out of the station and down the road. As he walked, his stomach gave another louder rumble and Eugene self consciously curled in on himself slightly as if to muffle the sound of his hungry belly.
'Come on…' he thought as he picked up his pace a bit more, 'Just a little longer…and I'll–'
"Oof!"
Nearly falling over, Eugene felt as if a weighted chilly breeze briefly lifted him up long enough for him to catch his balance and right himself.
And just in time too.
In front of him, the cross walk leading to the street where the kind Flower Shop owner was situated had just turned a blaring green and cars of all sizes and models drove past in abundant. Far off in the distance, Eugene could only just make out the bright yellow of Luke's hoodie as he ran out of sight.
"..."
'Did he…?'
"No."
Shaking his head, Eugene dispelled the unformed thought as he shakaly walked over to push the crosswalks button.
Clearly, Luke had just been in a hurry and had rushed passed him. He himself hadn't felt a "push", so he must have brushed passed him and Eugene being…himself, had gone on and tripped like a complete and total idiot and nearly gotten–
WALK
Ah.
That's his que.
Getting past the crosswalk and towards the Flower Shop took no time at all and an eternity at the same time. He was so hungry, but the adrenaline from nearly…from that, had him jittery and on edge.
'Well…' he thought, 'At least I'll be early enough for school breakfast…'
As he neared the Flower Shop, Eugene always wished he had the courage to thank the sweet older woman for the flower. But every time he neared the entryway he would beguin to doubt.
'What if his stuttering annoyed her?'
'What if he was too awkward?'
'What if she felt...pity?'
That last one…
Eugene couldn't STAND pity.
He wantedunderstanding, friendship, love.
But he was…
He was just Eugene.
Alone
Unloved…
Forgotten
A Mistake
"Hey! Kid, don't block the street."
"H-huh? Oh, s-sorry!" Realizing that he'd zoomed out in the middle of the sidewalk, Eugene hastaly moved aside and continued onwards as the man who'd addressed him early 'tsked' and sped walked forwards.
(I am…so useless).
By passing the Flower Shop for the uptentheh time, Eugene waited for the next crosswalk to turn and couldn't help but overhear a conversation between a few apparent friends of the owner.
"Linda…" A woman with mocha skin and short curly hair started up, "You're still not looking to well…are you sure you should be opening up the store?"
"O-oh! Ah-hahahaa…I'm fine Mari. But…thank you for your concern! Really."
"...Well…if you're sure…it IS always nice to see you after all.
"Aw!" Linda- so that's her name!- chuckled, "Thank you again! It's always nice to see all of you as well! Especially after…"
As Linda trailed off, Eugene risked a glance backwards and for just a moment briefly thought he saw the shadow of a large man leaning slightly over her as if to hold her shoulders before just as quickly blinking and seeing nothing there at all.
'What the…?' shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes from underneath his glasses, he tuned back into the conversation only to find another pailer woman with short cut black hair walking away with the mocha skinned woman, a hand held up as if to 'mute' her self.
Passing him by and walking into the now free of cars crosswalk, he followed behind them as the black haired woman said:
"--So that's what happened."
"No…!" The curly haired woman gasped
"Yes." The other nodded, "Honestly? I do feel sorry for her…as her neighbor…I knew her son when he'd been younger and I…well, never mind."
"Well" the other clutched at her newly bought bouquet of flowers, "I know! Maybe we can…–"
As the two women took a right, Eugene was left to continue forward towards school as he pondered what he'd just heard.
Linda- he was happy to finally have a proper name for her and not just 'Flower Shop Owner'- had either just…lost her son, or the other has gone far away and would no longer contact her for whatever inane reason.
Eugene– as bad as it sounded, hoped it was the former, because he himself would almost kill to have an actual loving and there parent family.
Shaking his head firmly a single time, he berated himself, how could he think that? Even after the Flower- Linda, had been so kind to some random downtrodden kid like him?
Gosh.
(He really was the worst).
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Eugene was content.
He had been just in time for the school free breakfast and they'd even had a special day of fresh baked banana bread! It was so very, very rare for him to be able to have a sweet treat that even with his prior mood, he hadn't been able to resist the small, quite satisfied 'hum' he'd released upon sitting down in his school assigned seat.
Somehow, even though Luke had ran on ahead of him, Eugene had somehow beaten the older boy to the classroom. Indeed, Eugene had somehow beaten MOST others to the classroom, even with stopping by to grab a bite to eat. Really, only a few early comers and his homeroom teacher were currently in the room, even as the clock ticked closer and closer to 8AM and the starting bell. But of course just as he's thinking this, the blond friend of the 'Trio' walked into the room and headed to the desk in front of Luke's, which was to his left and one up from his. Not far behind him came a navy haired girl and yellow sweater Luke lagging a bit behind her.
"Good morning sir!" The girl greeted their teacher as Luke presumably grumbled something similar before shuffling his way to his desk chair and all but collapsing into his desk. Not even bothering to remove his bag, Luke let his head fall into the desk with a resounding 'THUD'.
Eugene openly winced along with the blond haired boy and navy haired girl from his seat beside the older boy.
"Yoooo…." Oliver- the blond- started up, "You okay?"
"..."
SnOoOorE
"..."
'Did he…?'
"Hiss–Luke" Joy- the girl- lightly shook Luke, "Hey! Stop sleeping, wake up!" She shook him again, a little less gently, "Wake. Up before teach–"
"LUKE! JOY!" Their teacher Emerson yelled out, "Do I really have to give you both a detention this early in the morning?!"
"Shiiii–" Oliver cursed underneath his breath, "Luke! Comon'! Emerson's throwing a fit! We gotta–"
"Ugh! I'm awake, aim up! Jeez. Seriously?" Luke grumbled as he placed his head on his hand. "I'm so…sleepy…" he mumbled half heartedly. "I'll…seriously crush him this time…"
Eugene from his place next to the other opted to not even breath in the others direction for the rest of the day and stiffly looked forward as the bell rang.
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Another hour, another day…
Eugene yawned as he walked out of his high school, being a junior in a school an hour or so from home the Roof sucked.
A lot.
But it was good, and he'd worked hard to get into it…
and did that mean he was worth something?
Sighing, Eugene turned on his phone and absentmindedly continued on before a small 'chirp' sound came from his phone.
Eyes widening, Eugene looked around himself quickly before sprinting out of the school gate in a rush, completely missing Luke's narrowing eyes from where the other had been lethargically making his way to the train station.
Meanwhile, Eugene huffed slightly from his mad sprint out of the school and quickly melded into the shadows of a nearby alleyway.
Turning his phone's screen on and punching in his four digit lock screen code, he saw a text on his notifications bar.
One, simple number.
6PM.
'Yes!'
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Eugene's House/Apartment Layout
END NOTES:
QUOTE: Thirteen, no, fourteen now.* Barely scraping by and so, so lonely.
I know canon says he's fifteen, but we need even MORE tragedy, (apparently…) so I've made Eugene the youngest of his school year by, well, a year. We'll just say he skipped one in middle school and leave it at that. …
For now. :)