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The first time Eddie asks for touch, he does so the way Edddie usually asks for things - without words, and hesitant, as though afraid he's going to be denied.
He leans, just the slightest amount, against Buck's side. He's leant there before, Buck knows, but always before it was an accident, or unconscious, something he pulled away from as soon as he realised. This time it's deliberate.
Buck doesn't say anything, just presses back against Eddie's side and continues his conversation with Hen as though nothing is different.
Eddie melts against him the tiniest bit more, and Buck counts it as a win.
*
That evening, as they're sitting on the couch after the movie has finished and Chris has been put to bed, Eddie lets himself tilt towards Buck until their sides are touching. Buck clicks through to a tv show that seems to have a lot of episodes and just lets it play.
Slowly, Eddie rests more and more of his weight against Buck, Buck shifting every so often, and before long he's stretched out along the couch, Eddie cradled between this legs, head on his chest, and Buck can barely breath for fear of making Eddie realise just what position they've found themselves in.
But Eddie doesn't move. In fact, Eddie is so completely still, that Buck realises his stillness has to be deliberate. It's another step, he thinks, if Eddie isn't pulling away from him. But he wishes he knew just why Eddie was so still. Was he just doing this for Buck? Putting up with it because he thought Buck wanted it?
Buck did want it - but more than that, he wanted Eddie to be comfortable. He wanted, if he was being honest with himself, Eddie to want it.
So Buck waits. He waits all the way through three episodes, before Eddie relaxes enough to slump against him - no longer tense. Then he moves - just the smallest movement, curling his arm so that he can provide a cushion for Eddie's head if he wants it.
It takes another half an episode before Eddie lets his head nestle between Buck's arm and his chest, but Buck doesn't mind. It was worth the wait.
By the time they're dozing, both too tired and too relaxed to get up and move, Eddie is draped over Buck, surrounded by his strong arms and filled with a contentment he doesn't remember ever feeling before.
He's still worried Buck is going to pull away - that he's asking too much. But Buck never pulls away, simply holds him closer, and then he's blinking his eyes open and it's morning and Christopher has climbed on top of the both of them in order to request Buck cook them breakfast.
*
It takes time, but Eddie starts to ask for touch more and more. Shoulder bumping against Buck's as they walk, thighs pressed together in the back of the fire truck, head on his shoulder as they rest on the couch at the end of a long shift.
Until one day, Eddie walks up to where Buck is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, and simply plops himself down half in Buck's lap. Buck freezes - just for a moment, and just from shock - but it's enough to have Eddie starting to pull away.
"Sorry," he mumbles, shifting himself so he's just sitting on the couch, no longer touching Buck.
Buck just reaches out, grabs Eddie, and hauls him fully into his lap. He doesn't want Eddie to ever think his touch isn't welcome.
*
After that, it's like something releases its hold on Eddie, and his silent requests for touch become more and more frequent. He seems to stop waiting for Buck to push him away, finally starting to believe that Buck doesn't just tolerate his touch, but wants him there, actively encourages it.
And the more Eddie asks for, the more Buck offers - the more he initiates, becoming more confident that Eddie wants his touch, too.
Until it's not uncommon to see Buck and Eddie wrapped around each other. On the couch. In the bunk room. Wherever they are, they always seems to have some part of their bodies touching. And every day Eddie seems happier (so does Buck, but with Eddie it's more obvious). He smiles when he walks into work. Smiles when he sees Buck. Smiles when Buck opens his arms in invitation - before pressing himself right into Buck's hug.
*
Eddie, Buck learns, is an absolute snuggler in bed - all his limbs wrapped tightly around Buck as they drop to the bunk for the first time in hour twenty of a twenty-four hour shift, falling asleep almost instantly.
When Buck wakes a couple of hours later, he feels like somehow Eddie must have multiplied himself while he slept. He knows he's taller than Eddie (not by much, Eddie always likes to remind him), but somehow he's surrounded by the other man. Bundled up tight in am embrace that never seems to end. It makes him smile dizzily, hiding his face against Eddie's shoulder.
But what makes his happiness even greater is when Eddie wakes - and simply holds him tighter.
*
It gets to the stage where Buck *expects* Eddie to come find him whenever he's not busy doing something. And Buck is always ready to provide whatever touch Eddie needs. If Buck's doing something, well, they always find a way to work the touch around or through it.
If Buck's reading, and Eddie wants to snuggle in his lap - that spot between Eddie's shoulder blades makes a great place to rest his book. If Buck's cooking and Eddie's craving touch, well, even awake Eddie makes a great human octopus - wrapping himself around Buck from behind and moving with him as needed.
The first time Buck pulls Eddie onto his back is when Eddie has just wrapped himself around him from behind and Buck realises he left the ingredients he bought on the way home in the other room. So he reaches back, grabbing hold of Eddie's thighs, and boosts him upwards. Eddie automatically wraps his legs around Buck's waist, his arms tightening over his shoulders, and Buck's never given another grown man a piggyback before but it seems so natural to do so.
There's just something about having Eddie draped over his back, his warmth and weight seeping into Buck as though they're melding together into one, and suddenly Buck never wants to let him go.
He finishes preparing dinner, moves into the living room to tidy up, and even puts on a load of washing, all with Eddie on his back. It becomes a habit after that.
*
The first time Eddie jumps on Buck's back at the fire house is in response to something Chimney says. Buck doesn't hear all of it, but what he does hear suggests Chim is teasing Eddie because Buck has to wash the truck and Eddie has that look he gets when he just wants to snuggle.
So one moment Buck's getting ready to wash the truck, and the next, whole body screaming 'can too!', Eddie leaps onto his back. Buck probably would have stumbled more than he did if he hadn't gotten used to carrying Eddie around. It only takes him a moment to steady himself, and then he's going back to his task, while Eddie shoots Chim a triumphant look from where his head rests on Buck's shoulder.
Chim throws his hands up in the air and declares they deserve each other. It's a nice thought.
*
It's not long after that that their touches move into new territory - Eddie, it turns out, likes touching Buck with his lips just as much as he likes cuddling on the couch.
Despite the new options for their touches, they never give up the touches - soft and gentle and warm and *there* that started it all.
They still snuggle on the couch and end up wrapped together in bed, and somehow always find an excuse for at least one spot on their bodies to be touching - even if it's just the brush of fingers against each other.
And Eddie starts to open up to others, too.
The first time he slumps onto the couch beside Bobby, resting against the older man's side, Buck thinks his heart might burst for his love and pride for the other man and how far he's come. Bobby just tilts his shoulder just so, providing a spot for Eddie to rest his head.
Slowly, Eddie starts initiating touches with the rest of the team - letting his shoulder rest against Chimney's, spreading out on the couch next to Hen and laying his head in her lap.
Through it all, his touches with Buck don't decrease in any way, he simply starts letting other people in as well. Starts believing he's allowed this. That there isn't anything wrong with wanting that connection with others.
And the others respond to Eddie's silent requests. Hen, like Buck, has a fascination with running her fingers through Eddie's hair (Hen does it while she's studying and says it helps her to concentrate, Buck does it when they're tangled together on the couch or in bed and says Eddie's hair is surprisingly soft).
Bobby is always ready with a hug or a shoulder to lean on - quite literally - and Eddie never says it, but Buck knows he wishes he could have had that kind of support from his father.
And Chimney, well, whenever he and Eddie verse each other on the playstation, somehow they spend the entire time with their sides pressed against each other, from shoulder to ankle.
Before long, it's unusual to see Eddie *not* touching one of the others, though it's clear that Buck is still his favourite. With every touch they encourage, every brush of skin they initiate instead of just allowing, Eddie relaxes more and more.
Buck knows there was a time when Eddie was hesitant to touch, when he feared rejection, but he delights in every time Eddie freely presses up to them, unafraid to ask for what he wants.
It doesn't hurt that Buck craves the touches, too, but mostly he is simply in awe of the man he loves and the family they've found and the freedom they have to be themselves.
He holds Eddie whenever he gets the chance, lets Eddie treat him like his own personal teddy bear, shares kisses between them like air, and feels secure in the fact that whatever happens, wherever he turns, there is Eddie, and there is touch, and there is them.
Sleeping wrapped together, holding hands as they walk, pressing kisses into each other's foreheads at every opportunity. It's love and connection and affection and Buck has never felt closer to another person in his life.
If the ring Eddie presses into his hands is any indication, the other man feels the same way.