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It's been 12 hours since Wilhelm woke up, and 11 hours since he got into a car to be driven to the most boring chain of events in his life. Firstly, his presence was not even necessarily needed, he contributed nothing and pretty much just tried to avoid everyone who made eye contact with him, so he didn't need to get into awkward small talk with them.
He managed to not cause a scene when someone felt the need to comment on his coming out and his relationship with a boy, carefully concealing their apparent disapproval behind pretty words and fake concerns, of course. The person in question was one of the most important people in the room, so Wille bit his tongue and smiled politely while listening. Thank god Malin was near at that time and she came to his rescue, pulling him away with an excuse that he needs to be somewhere urgently. They walked up the roof and Malin was forced to listen to Wille swearing and being mad for a good 10 minutes before he got tired of talking.
"Simon called," Malin said then.
She had Wille's phone with herself, something about "It's not proper to be on your phone the entire night, Wilhelm." And a disapproving look as he sighed loudly: "Okay mom, then I'll die of boredom. Why do I need to come to this thing again anyway?"
Simon knew this and because of it Wille momentarily panicked. There was one time when Simon fell down on an icy stair pretty badly and he got taken to the hospital with a deep wound in his entire forearm that needed stitches. He called Wille from the hospital, mumbling something about Micke being there but would it be too much to ask from Wille to come? Needless to say that Wille panicked and went straight to the hospital, leaving before the meeting he was supposed to be present on even started.
"Is he okay?"
"Yes. He wanted me to let you know that he loves you and he's proud of you," Malin said with a hint of amusement in her voice.
"Oh," it's all Wille managed to say before he needed to sit down and cover his face—so Malin doesn't see him blush. She didn't need to see it to know, though. The next time Wille looked up, she had his phone extended toward him in the air. She knew him so well.
Simon didn't pick up so he left a very flustered and very rambled voice message, and then they went back down to the party.
That was around noon and the clock on the dashboard of the car showed 17:51 now. How did he survive 10 hours of unpleasant conversations and polite fake smiles?
Malin was supposed to drive him straight home—as it was discussed with his mother—but there they were, driving along the road next to the football field Wille knew all too well by now, (after all, it was their most frequent destination during evening dates and while sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night) a few minutes away from Simon's house.
Wille was too tired to think about calling Simon beforehand and his message was not seen yet.
Linda opened the door, with a warm smile, and he was pulled into a short hug as a greeting. "Simon's not home yet, but come inside."
Sara yelled out a greeting from the living room, while Linda continued speaking: "Have you eaten? Come sit, I'll bring you something."
"Thank you, but can I just," he pointed toward Simon's room. He and Simon had been talking about situations like this when they were visiting each other but the other was not home yet, or had something to do—it was okay to go into each other's room like that. Simon was not entirely aware it also applied to the palace, but there was one time when he had dinner with Wille's parents without Wille being there as Wille's flight got delayed because of bad weather. So he got ready for bed and fell asleep in Wille's bed all on his own. It was already weird walking around in the palace, but it was even weirder doing it on his own and not being stopped or told he shouldn't be there. Even Wille's parents kind of accepted it and didn't try to make him feel unwelcomed.
"Of course," Linda smiled and Wille faintly heard her and Malin starting a conversation. Apparently, they have become friends. He was glad, because the amount of time he spent at Simon's was a bit embarrassing. And Malin always stayed until it was fixed that Wille would spend the night, she left only after it was discussed for sure.
Simon is running a notebook with the schedule of feeding the fish, with a whole instruction page beside it. The main rules were: 1) Cross the time if you already gave them food. 2) Non-Simons should sign after crossing out the time! 3) Thank you!
Wille knew the times by heart at this point but he checked if 17:00 today had already been crossed out. It wasn't, so he went to fetch the food and fed the fish before doing anything else. He didn't forget the signature either, drawing some hearts beside it just to be cheesy.
He probably thinks way too highly of himself, but he could swear the fish started to recognize him and also be happy to see him. Simon fondly mocked him when he said this thought out loud during a lazy day while they were lying in bed. "Do you want shared custody? It's a big responsibility to raise children, Wille!"
When that was done, Wille stripped out of his dress shirt and threw it to the floor. The fabric around his neck started to make his skin itch a while ago and it was a relief to finally get out of it. He crashed down on the bed, only starting to be aware of just how much his body actually hurts, with a dull pulsing ache.
His eyes traveled over the room, and they softened upon noticing his own hoodie and shirts among the mess. Their wardrobe got mixed pretty well, even with them not actually living together. God, is it normal to miss someone so much you feel like you want to die if you don't see them soon? Wille buried his face into the pillow, his mind settling a bit as the familiar scent of Simon traveled into his lungs. He pulled the blanket around himself too and although he wanted to wait for his boyfriend, he fell asleep not long after.
＊
Simon's eyes adjusted to the darkening evening as he stepped out of the apartment complex. He said a last goodbye to Rosh, who had walked them down to the front door and waited until Ayub did so too. Rosh's grandma had passed away a few days ago, so they planned to spend the rest of their autumn break with her, just chilling and playing board games. She was not the type to say it out loud but they knew she appreciated it so much, if even just the long bone-crushing hugs as they said goodbye were to say anything.
The three of them were living close by, so they just took off walking after saying goodbye. Simon wanted to check the time because he had stayed longer than planned and he didn't want his mother to worry (even if the chances of that happening were very low, because she knew where he was and with who, but still) and he was wondering if Wille got home okay too, but his phone was dead.
"What time is it? My battery died."
"It's gonna be 7 in a few minutes."
He said goodbye to Ayub too and turned into his street, the dried leaves crunching under his feet. Autumn was not his favorite season, but he loved the sound of the leaves scraping the asphalt, the soft wind, and the landscape changing colors. Wille's warm skin on him, contrasting with the chilly air coming into the room through the open window, and Wille making him hot chocolate, certainly also played a big part in him not minding autumn that much anymore. He was hopelessly in love.
Getting out of his thoughts came easy after he noticed the black car in front of his house. Walking up to the entrance and noticing his mom and Malin deep in conversation and laughing together made him smile. His mom noticed him through the window as well and she waved her arms at him.
"How was today?" He directed the question toward Malin after he went inside and kissed his mother on the cheek. (She inquired about Rosh, to which he replied that she was feeling better.)
"Long," Malin said shortly, but it was somehow enough information for Simon to know that the day didn't go that well and Wille is probably sleeping by now. Wille coming over after an event or a meeting was not unusual, so that fact enough didn't give a clue about his well-being to Simon just yet.
Just as he expected Wille was curled up in his bed, head buried under the blanket, almost fully covering it, eyes closed and breathing even.
He thought about letting him sleep but then discarded the idea. Wille came here instead of going home, so he probably wanted and needed Simon's presence first and foremost. And it might be a bit selfish, but Simon also wanted to hear Wille's voice. They can always go back to sleep later, only then they can do that together.
＊
Wille woke up to a pair of hands gently shaking him awake. For a second, he thought he was still dreaming of Simon's presence there, but as his mind adjusted to the state of awakeness, he realized Simon was actually there.
"Sleeping Beauty, hi," Simon said, tracing the only visible part of Wille's body—his eyebrow.
"I was just dreaming about you," Wille mumbled.
"Were you?" came a question, accompanied by fingers slipping under the blanket to hold his head properly and a kiss landed on his forehead a second later.
"Missed you," Wille whispered out, momentarily forgetting the topic they were at.
"Were you having wet dreams about me?"
Wille chuckled and came out of the cocoon he created, giving access to more skin to caress for Simon. (His favorite thing in the world was Simon touching him.)
"No. It was just you, close to me. I have missed you," he said again when Simon kissed his wrist.
"Missed you too."
They stayed like that for a few more seconds before Simon got up from the floor and went to fetch some comfortable clothes for Wille to change into. All the previous softness evaporated from him as he threw the clothes at Wille, who just happened to duck before it slapped him right across the face.
"Hey," Wille protested with no actual bite in his tone. In fact, he was grinning.
"Get dressed, we can't have you walking around naked in the house."
"You would love it though."
"Not when my mom is right there. And Sara. And your already traumatized bodyguard."
Wille wanted to protest again, but then he remembered a specific incident when Simon slept over at his room in Hillerska and on their way to class the next morning Malin just casually said: "If I might advise you to be quieter next time." Simon found it hilarious, but Wille wanted the ground to swallow him whole.
So instead of commenting on that, he said: "Just so you know—I have pants on."
"Oh? That's disappointing."
Wille stared back at him in question.
"Having wet dreams in my bed and you are not even completely naked?"
"I was not–"
"I'm kidding, Wille," he smiled. "Dress up."
"Can I take a shower first?"
"Yeah, sure."
Even with the changed plans, Simon was still waiting for him to move, but as it didn't seem to be happening, a hand reached out toward him. "Come?"
A mischievous smile blossomed on Wille's face. "Your Sleeping Beauty needs a kiss to function."
"Does he now?"
"Hmm," Wille nodded, eyes glinting, he opened his legs as an invitation and Simon stopped right there between them. His hands went to rest on Simon's hip as his boyfriend leaned down to give him a proper kiss.
"Come," Simon repeated, and this time Wille did move. While Wille was putting on a shirt, Simon went to say hi to Sara, then to the bathroom.
＊
"Will you stay the night?" Malin looked at Wille as he also emerged from the room. Wille said a yes after he silently passed the question to Simon, who nodded. They didn't realize, but both Linda and Malin smiled about that silent communication.
"Okay. Text when you want to go home," she stood up, preparing to leave.
"I can take the bus," came a useless protest.
"No, you can't."
They played this every time, Wille not wanting to bother his guards and wanting some sort of normalcy, while his guards were obviously just doing their job.
"He'll text," Simon ushered Wille into the bathroom, and only then Wille realized Simon was drawing a bath for him. "It was nice seeing you, Malin."
"Likewise."
"No, wait. Malin, can you please bring back Simon's hoodie tomorrow?" Wille poked his head out of the bathroom.
"The purple one?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"Hey?" Simon looked at him in question.
"It doesn't smell like you anymore. You need to give me another one."
Linda laughed out loud after hearing that, her eyes slipping over to his son. "¿Es por eso que no querías que lavara la camisa con la que haz estado durmiendo estos últimos días?"
"I–" Simon turned so red he looked like he had a fever. "This conversation is over. Bye Malin." He pulled Wille into the bathroom by the shoulder and closed the door. His boyfriend had the audacity to look at him in question, with very clearly faked confusion, and ask with a hint of a smile: "What did she say?"
"Cállate," Simon glared at him, but with laced fondness in his tone. Wille was more than capable of understanding his mother. He understood basic Spanish even before coming to Hillerska, but Simon taught him a lot more (understanding their accent first and foremost) over the last year. He's not very comfortable speaking it, but he understands most things. And unfortunately, he uses it against Simon sometimes, because he knows how weak Simon is for him speaking Simon's first language back to him. Literally, knees-become-jelly kind of weak.
Wille stepped toward Simon, wanting physical contact more than anything. His boyfriend has a thing for noticing that, and now too, Simon locked their legs together—with one leg he stepped between Wille's, thighs meeting, knees pressed against each other. Wille went closer, pulling this boyfriend into a hug. "Te he extrañado."
It was a good thing they were so wrapped up around each other, otherwise Simon would have—as dramatic as it sounds—fallen to the floor. Wille speaking Spanish was so personal to him, he'll never get over it.
"Ya haz dicho eso dos veces en la última media hora"
"It's because I have missed you, Simon. Haven't you been paying attention?"
"You are very annoying today."
"You say that every day."
"And it's true every day."
"Okay." Up until then they were swaying side to side, turning in a circle slightly with each step. Now Wille pulled back very briefly, legs still tangled, though. "Will you stay with your annoying boyfriend while he takes a bath?"
"If he asks nicely."
"Por favor quédate."
"Fuck, not that nicely. I'll have a heart attack, please. Let's just stop talking and take a bath instead, shall we?"
"As long as you will stay with me."
Simon just rolled his eyes and told Wille to hurry up or the water would cool down too much. Wille quickly stripped off and climbed into the tub, but Simon made no effort to do the same.
"You aren't coming in?"
Simon threw a towel to the floor and sat down on it. "No, I don't want to right now." He leaned forward so he could rest his head on the edge of the tub. Wille laced their fingers together.
"How was your day?"
"It was good. Rosh's little cousins were visiting today, so we had no time to get bored."
"How's Rosh?"
"She's doing better than yesterday, so that's something."
"I was thinking… that we should hold a football match on one of the days this week."
"A football match?"
"Yeah, to get her out of the house for a bit. You always talk about how much she likes to play—I think it would cheer her up a bit? We could invite Felice and Sara too. And Maddie and the others."
"That actually sounds great. Do you not have anything else you need to attend during the rest of the autumn break?"
"No, thankfully."
"I'll ask her if she wants to play, then we can organize it."
"Okay."
"Thank you. That was a very thoughtful idea."
"Why are you thanking me?"
"I don't even know. I guess just thank you for thinking of her?" He answered and that was the moment the light bulb above their heads decided to burn out, darkness descending into the room. They were silent for a moment before Simon started to chuckle softly. "I should change it." He wanted to stand up, but the hand holding his own stopped him.
"No, wait. Stay."
"We are in pitch dark, sweetheart."
The hold on his hand didn't loosen. "Just for a bit?"
Simon contemplated for a bit, but ended up pulling his hand out of his boyfriend's hold, who sighed dramatically as an answer to that. "Let me get a candle, so at least we can see each other."
"Okay."
The candles Simon brought painted the room orange and casted shadows over the walls. Instead of sitting back down, Simon stripped out of his clothes, throwing them carelessly to the floor.
"You are coming in after all?" a warm hand took a hold on his, to help him step into the water. It took a bit of a struggle to turn around from there, the tub being just a tad bit small and there was not much light to see to begin with, but Simon managed. He crashed down on Wille gently, not giving enough time for his boyfriend to sit up. Wille let out a little surprised noise as Simon's entire weight was on him suddenly. Not only that, but Simon's arms went between his back and the tub, hugging him tightly as well. It'll never cease to amaze Wille just how much Simon got to know him over the course of a year. He liked having pressure on his body even when he was okay, but he needed and craved it when he was a little under. It grounded him.
Before he could even move up his hand to bury it in the soft curls—which he wanted to because he knew Simon liked it—his boyfriend mumbled: "Don't get my hair wet."
So instead of hair, his hand stayed on Simon's back, holding him steady and caressing the warm skin there. Simon's other favorite thing was Wille doing just that. (He always smiled when he felt the fingers on his back frequently changing their route; Wille remembering him saying that it feels uncomfortable after a while if the fingers go back and forth in the same spot for a long period of time.)
A giggle escaped Wille's mouth. "You are like a weighted blanket."
"Not crushing you too much?"
"You do. But that's the point. I like it. It clears my head and I feel safe."
Simon said nothing, just snuggled a little closer. His boyfriend's heartbeat under his head provided a steady rhythm that got interrupted by the occasional dripping from the sink tap. He needs to remind himself later to fix that today, as well as to change the lightbulb.
"I was a bit sad today," it came out without him giving a thought about actually voicing it out loud beforehand. It was like that most of the time with Wille. After they got back together—and the handful of serious fights they had in the process—they talked endlessly about trust and honesty, about being open and voicing out discomfort or negative feelings. And they got pretty good at it. Maybe that's why his brain didn't go into a spiral of overthinking, if what he's feeling is even worth a conversation.
"Yeah? Want to talk about it?"
Simon lifted his head. "I was thinking about Rosh's granny, and your brother," he started carefully. "I got sad thinking about losing someone… like that. Permanently." They had talked a lot about Erik since he died, but not in this context. Simon wasn't sure if he would rip open a slowly healing wound with it. Wille froze for a moment, but his features relaxed into a gentle nostalgic smile immediately after. He pushed on Simon gently so they could sit up. Their hands finding each other's in the water.
"We had a dog when I was younger," Wille started with the same nostalgic smile. "She was already quite old, and she died not long after I turned ten. Erik… He said that as long as we remember her, she'll keep on living in us—that no one is truly lost as long as we keep them in our memories. It's hard to make your brain accept this as some sort of consolation, but I like to believe there is some truth in it."
Simon nodded, pulling on his boyfriend's hand gently to get him closer.
"Did it help your sadness?" Wille smiled softly after Simon sneaked a kiss on his nose. Something that Simon apparently grew fond of doing over the months.
"My sadness went away even before I got home. It was more of a sad thought that occupied my mind for a bit, just wanted to tell you. But! What you said is true. Death will come sooner or later and there's little we can do to prevent it from happening."
"Yeah," he paused for a while, looking for words. "We are talking about Erik, and I wanted to ask you something. Wasn't sure how to bring it up."
"Okay."
"Would you come visit him with me? So I can introduce you properly." Wille had been going to see Erik regularly, on birthdays or anniversaries, sometimes just on a random day. He always went alone, without his parents and guards. He talked about it with Simon once—how he likes to tell Erik about his life and what had been happening with him since the last time—but it was something he always did privately, he needed it so he didn't lose the connection with his brother and he said it made him feel lighter after.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I– have been thinking about it for a while and I want you to come. If you also want to."
"I would love to," another kiss landed on Wille's nose and they started to giggle when Simon fell forward into his arms, because he got off balance after leaning over for the second kiss.
The candles were about to burn out, so they decided that the bath-time had to come to its end. But standing up properly proved to be a difficult task when Simon accidentally stepped on his boyfriend's leg and nearly breaking his own ankle trying to undo it.
A long chain of curses from both of them mixed and echoed back from the walls. Simon needed to sit down at the side of the tub, holding his ankle.
"You okay?"
"Feel like my ankle is split in half."
"Let me see."
"Not enough light here. Dress up and get me some clothes instead, please."
Wille did so, then he helped to dry off Simon and getting him dressed. Linda was making dinner and when Wille emerged from the bathroom the first time, she asked if everything was okay. So when both of them came out, she was already there helping Simon to sit down to one of the kitchen chairs. After a bit, they concluded that it's probably nothing more than a little strain and the pain subdued by a lot as well. They elevated it and Linda put an ice pack on it and told Simon to stay put (he wanted to change the lightbulb in the bathroom) and not put weight on it.
(Wille ended up changing the lightbulb and fixing the tap when Simon woke up in the middle of the night because he forgot to do it and it needed to be fixed otherwise Simon wouldn't have been able to fall back asleep.)
Sara came out of her room not long after and they chatted about random things for a while, then Simon and Sara went into a conversation about someone they had known from their old school, and Wille couldn't add anything to that, so he wandered into the kitchen hesitantly. Linda looked up with a warm expression; one that Wille will never get used to.
"Can I help?" he asked shyly.
"You want to help finish dinner?"
"Yes."
"If you would like to. Wash your hands."
Two pairs of eyes turned to look at him over the counter, but he refused to look back—he washed his hands, then listened attentively as Linda told him what to do instead.
Simon relocated to sit by the counter after his conversation with his sister died down and she went to scroll on her phone.
"How's your leg?"
"Not hurting at all anymore."
"I'm glad," Wille answered, then he immediately went back to focus on what he was doing.
But Linda looked at her son sceptically. "You should still keep the ice on. It'll probably swell up a bit by the morning."
"Wille will live my life for me tomorrow, so I don't need to get up from bed."
No reaction came because Wille was so focused on cutting the potatoes to equal sizes and trying to not cut his fingers at the same time. There was a funny line at the tip of Simon's tongue, to tease his boyfriend, but quite frankly, Wille looked adorable and so engrossed in what he was doing that Simon just let it go with a (definitely not lovesick) grin.
Wille's laser-focus eased up after he successfully completed the task of cutting the potatoes so they fell into a light conversation.
"You don't have any at home," Simon said all of sudden, remembering back to their conversation from earlier. But Wille looked back at him with confusion. "I don't have any what?"
"Weighted blankets. We should get you one later. After finishing redecorating your room. It'll be so cozy you'll never want to leave."
Wille got so taken aback that the knife he was holding stilled midair. Simon and his stupidly big heart. "You are too good to me."
"You should feel safe and comfortable in your own house, even if it's literally a palace."
On instinct, Wille tried to smile it out, but he couldn't stop the tears escaping his eyes. Simon always made him feel so loved and cherished, he didn't know how to handle it sometimes. Especially not after a draining day like today. But it was okay, he was allowed to cry and just feel freely around Simon. His boyfriend reached over the counter and took a hold of his face, but didn't try to wipe away the tears. Instead, his thumb brushed on Wille's jaw, trying to still the shaking under his fingertips.
"My dearest, eres precioso y mereces ser apreciado y cuidado," his voice came out in soft whispers. "Eres increíble, hermoso y te quiero mucho."
"Significas el mundo para mi."
"Y tú para mi."
"He's too good to me, Linda," Wille sighed dramatically, shaking his head for comic relief purposes so it would shake them all back into an easy conversation. Linda rubbed his back and they continued on with cooking.
After dinner, they got ready for bed—Simon slipping out of his shirt and pants as usual—, by the time he went to lay down as well, Wille almost fell asleep. Simon tugging on his shirt pulled him back briefly.
"Take it off."
He shrugged out of his shirt with great difficulty, and he was pulled into a hug by Simon when he finally managed to get rid of the material between them. He tucked his head under Simon's chin and drifted off with a content smile.