Chapter Text
Tony lay on his back in the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Every inhale brought a stabbing pain in his chest so he was forced to keep his breathing shallow. The weight of the returned arc reactor made him feel sick and his hands twitched with the desire to rip the bandages apart.
He felt empty, hollow.
He wasn’t all that sure why he was still alive.
The ‘Civil War’ as the public had taken to calling it, had ripped everything from him. He was so tired from clinging tightly to everything he cared about but most of it had slipped through his hold anyway.
He closed his eyes, for once not fighting the tears that pricked at his eyes.
He was just so tired and everything hurt. His arm throbbed in agony and his head pounded in time with his heartbeat.
Cho had told him to take it easy. But there was so much work to be done. She’d told him that he mustn’t be alone. But there was no one to stay with.
He bit back a sob.
He hadn’t been this alone in years.
Rhodey was still in hospital, in an induced medical coma. The damage had been more severe than they thought and he still felt achingly guilty for leaving his friend to go to the RAFT and then Siberia. Pepper’s accusations were still ringing in his ears. She said she couldn’t handle it anymore, the way he always put the Avengers first. She left and Happy followed, leaving Tony alone in the Compound that he hated. It was just filled with ghosts now, and broken dreams.
Vision had spoken to him, telling him that he needed to leave to find himself. The guilty look in his eyes told Tony all he needed to know though. The others had broken out of the RAFT and Tony knew that Vision was going back to Wanda, despite everything she did.
He always chose the witch over Tony.
Was this how Pepper felt? She’d always wanted him to completely give up the Avengers and Iron Man though. He just couldn’t bring himself to do that, not even now with his life shattered and torn apart.
Things had been good with the team, for a while. Before Ultron, before Maximoff. Before the team started fracturing from the inside.
Now though, looking back on things he couldn’t help but feel bitter. He’d thought that they were actually his friends and that he’d ruined things with Ultron.
But things had started breaking long before that, all the way back after the DC data dump. Tony had been so busy with recovering from the surgery to remove the reactor and saving the good SHIELD agents, that he hadn’t noticed the odd behaviour from the rest of the team. And by the time he could actually focus on them again, that odd behaviour had become the new norm.
He’d always been kept apart from the team, he just hadn’t noticed it.
He’d been too happy when the team moved into the tower. He enjoyed the company too much. He actually thought that Steve was a friend, that they’d got past that bad start. Steve had seemed so earnest about Tony joining them for team dinners and movie nights that Tony had let it go when he wasn’t asked to join on all the little missions Steve went on. He’d been happy to provide the funding for the Avengers.
Knowing that Steve happily took that money and used it to search out the man who was used to kill his parents made a wave of nausea roll over Tony. Steve was never going to tell Tony, was he? If he’d had his way, Tony would have died believing that his parents had died in a car accident, that Howard had killed his mother with his recklessness and selfishness. Steve would have brought Barnes back to the Tower after finding him probably, asking Tony for help with his treatment and housing.
Tony had to swallow bile. With time to calm down and rationally think about the situation, Tony knew that Barnes hadn’t been to blame. He was a victim and he deserved help.
But Tony had deserved to know. He’d had the right to make the choice to help Barnes with all the information. Steve didn’t give him that. He just used Tony like a tool.
Like everyone else.
Tony rolled onto his side to throw up in the bucket next to his bed. His chest lit up in agony closely followed by most of his body and he almost blacked out. When the heaving stopped he painfully rolled onto his back again, easing the pressure on his chest.
How long would it take to recover from this? His chest was already compromised from previous surgeries and Steve had driven the shield into his chest hard enough to shatter his rib cage. He’d needed to put the reactor back in just to survive, never mind ever be able to function normally again.
He hadn’t had a chance to tell Pepper or Happy that before they left and he didn’t want to see anyone, so his bots were playing nursemaids for the moment.
There was a worried beep next to the bed and Tony dragged his eyes open to look at DUM-E who was holding out a bottle of water. A pained smile tugged at his lips as he carefully accepted the bottle with his less injured hand.
“Thanks buddy,” he whispered. Butterfingers and U were milling around in the background and he knew they were all worried. Friday was too. He didn’t know how to calm them though. He didn’t know what to do about anything.
A man he believed was his friend had betrayed him in every single way before leaving him to die in Siberia. Who the fuck could he trust after that?
Unwillingly, his thoughts turned to the other Avengers. Vision had made it clear who he would always choose and it hurt. His last connection to JARVIS had never once sided with him, except for the Accords. Even then he’d been distracted by Maximoff during the fight. He’d tried to get closer to Vision, get to know the android. But his attempts had never truly been welcome. Vision had preferred the rest of the team over him and Tony hadn’t felt comfortable in the Compound after Ultron.
He wasn’t surprised that Wilson had sided with Steve-With Rogers. Wilson never had liked Tony and he wasn’t sure if that was because of his money or reputation. He’d been polite enough but he’d never made any attempt to befriend Tony or accepted the attempts Tony made. The genius had given up after a while.
The Lang guy wasn’t even someone Tony knew so he was a non-entity at the moment.
What hurt the most, was Clint and Natasha.
He’d been close to the two. Clint had become an amazing friend and they could spend hours talking and laughing. They used to spend free days playing Mario Cart and not a week went by that they didn’t prank each other. Tony had always felt like Clint understood how messed up he was and that he didn’t care. The acceptance was something Tony had craved. He was the one Tony went to talk to after a particularly bad nightmare.
Things had been awkward after Ultron. Clint had been angry about the entire thing and on top of that, he grew attached to Wanda. He’d grown colder to Tony and after a while, the genius stopped calling him, no matter how bad the nightmares were.
And Natasha…
Fuck, he’d admit after breaking up with Pepper after the Mandarin mess he and Natasha started growing a lot closer when she moved in. She and Clint helped train him to fight outside of the suit, she opened up to him during late nights when neither of them could sleep. He learned about the Red Room and about the red dripping from her ledger.
They’d been dancing around something before Ultron.
Then she’d closed up on him again. She’d always been polite and friendly, but she didn’t let him in anymore.
He stopped calling because it hurt too much.
He’d been hopeful when she agreed with him on the Accords but that was shattered when she let Steve and Barnes go at the airport. Then she’d left him in the hospital with that parting jab at his ego and any hope he had left for them broke right then. He’d still warned her about Ross because he cared.
He thought maybe those feelings finally froze in Siberia, when he put the pieces together. Steve must have found out during the DC disaster. And there was no way that Natasha didn’t know. He wasn’t sure about the rest of the team but he was certain those two knew. They’d played him for a fool.
The Avengers needed a backer after SHIELD fell so they turned to the billionaire that was conveniently hopeful for their friendship. So they gave it to him. Friendship from Steve, from Clint, from Thor and from Bruce. The hint of something more from Natasha when it was clear that he and Pepper were only good friends again.
He’d been a blind fool.
They must have decided that he was more trouble than he was worth after Ultron. Thor and Bruce took off without a glance back at him. Steve and Clint grew cold. Natasha grew distant.
They had what they wanted, they’d secured his funding. Why did they need to act like they actually liked him after that? Especially after he screwed up so badly with Ultron?
Tony squeezed his eyes shut and choked on a sob.
And now this Civil War. He’d completely lost even the illusion of a family with the Avengers and on top of that, he’d lost Rhodey, Pepper and Happy.
Somewhere along the way, he’d lost them all. Except Rhodey who had been ripped from him. And that…that was something he was truly angry about. He screwed up, sure. But Rhodey hadn’t done anything to deserve this.
Somewhere between the airport and lying freezing in a broken suit in the snow, Tony had let go of that family. He was grieving them sure, but he’d already let go. Clint became Barton when he made that crack about Rhodey’s back. Nat became Romanoff when she snapped about his ego for the nth time. Steve became Rogers when he lied and then beat Tony into the ground. He’d let go.
Letting go hurt so much though.
He couldn’t do this anymore.
“Boss?” Friday’s voice was quiet and scared and he swallowed down another sob.
He may have lost them all, but his bots were still here. And if he knew one thing, it was that they’d never leave. “Boss, you need to be somewhere you can recover.” Her voice wavered before turning firm. “Ross knows you’re here and he’s angry. The Rogues know you’re here too and they’ve proven themselves untrustworthy.”
He flinched at that. Rogers’ letter had been a slap in the face. All righteousness and condescension. How’d he miss all of that?
“You need help Boss.”
Who the fuck could he go to for help? The Avengers were gone. He didn’t trust SHIELD. Pepper and Happy had made it clear that they thought he was at fault for the war since they hadn’t let him explain anything.
There was no one. Absolutely no-
Tony stared at the ceiling for another long moment. He’d decided to never call him again when they both started living dangerous lives. Drawing the wrong kind of attention could be deadly but…
“Please Boss…”
Friday was pleading. His daughter was begging him to get help. He’d never been able to deny his kids.
Moving gingerly, he managed to pick up his phone from the bedside table. Friday was blocking his calls from pretty much everyone right now while he struggled to recover. He dialled a number he’d long since memorised and waited.
“Hello?” the voice was gruff and irritated. Tony knew he hadn’t shown up on caller ID.
“Hey…” his voice was rough and he had to swallow before he could continue. There was a part of him insisting that this was a bad idea. That he couldn’t trust anyone because look what happened when he did? But Rhodey was an exception and so was the person he was calling. He hoped. “I think…I need help…”
“Where are you?” he demanded.
“Avengers Compound…” Tony trailed off. Everything just hurt and the pain meds were too far away. Plus he hated them. “I…they’re all gone Bruce.”
Bruce Wayne paused at the use of his first name. Tony never used his actual name. It must be bad.
“I’ll be there Tony,” he promised.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Tony admitted.
“Do what?” he could tell that Bruce was moving.
“I screw up no matter what I do. I’m tired. Everyone left.”
“Their loss,” the other billionaire said and it dragged a painful huff of laughter from Tony.
“I’m just…I’m tired,” he repeated.
“Sounds like you need a vacation.”
“That sounds nice.” Tony stared up at the ceiling again, trying to ignore the pain running through his body.
“Don’t move until I get there.”
“That’s not a problem.” Tony’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“Was starting to worry you lost your attitude, Tony.”
The genius closed his eyes. He knew that Bruce could hear how bad his breathing was.
“Feels like I lost everything.”
“Not everything.”
“I’m sorry for calling you.”
“I’m irritated you didn’t call sooner.”
“See you soon Brucie.”
“I still hate that name.”
Tony hung up and went back to staring at the ceiling. A vacation sounded nice. He hadn’t been to Gotham in a while.
Bruce Wayne had to rein his temper in quickly when he walked into the room Tony was staying in. The genius was sickly pale and covered in bandages with a cast on his left arm. His three bots were clustered around the bed, clearly worried and his AI was silent as she undoubtedly kept a close eye on his vitals.
The genius looked one step away from death and it made Bruce want to hunt down whoever was responsible.
He’d known Tony since they were kids, their mothers had always been pretty close and worked together in charity a lot. So Tony had been over at Wayne Manor pretty often. They’d got up to all sorts of mischief in their childhood, enough to probably be the reason for a few of Alfred’s premature grey hairs.
Then the Waynes were murdered and Bruce spent a solid month at the Stark’s mansion. It was the one time he’d seen Maria Stark stand up to her asshole husband. Tony helped him through that rough time and was probably the only reason he wasn’t worse off than he already was mentally.
When the Starks had died in a car accident Bruce had dropped everything to visit. He’d helped Rhodes pull Tony out of a self-destructive spiral and the younger billionaire had spent a month with Bruce.
They survived, and maybe they were more jaded and bitter at the world, but they survived. Then they both ended up stumbling into the superhero career, although Batman tended towards the vigilante more than hero. Since Tony had figured out who he was within days, which was expected, the two had decided to keep distant. They didn’t want to accidentally end up painting targets on each other’s backs now that they had far more dangerous enemies.
They did still keep in contact though, emails via one of the most secure servers on the planet. So Tony knew about Bruce's growing family of misfits, and Bruce knew about the Avengers. He also knew about how things started to go downhill after Ultron. He’d been uneasy about that but he hadn’t said anything.
He was regretting that now.
Bruce patted Butterfingers as he passed, the bots making space for him. They recognised him and DUM-E crowded closer for comfort pats. Bruce sat down on the bed next to the younger billionaire and studied him. Tired, pained brown eyes opened and met his. He felt another surge of fury over how dull they looked. Tony’s eyes always shone with excitement and passion.
“What happened?” he asked calmly.
The genius grimaced but he began speaking after a moment. He explained about the Avengers’ reactions to the Accords. He spoke about the bombing, about Barnes appearing to be the perpetrator. He spoke about Bucharest and the nine dead officers and twelve dead civilians. He told Bruce about the deal Rogers turned down and about the man who triggered the Winter Soldier. He talked about the airport fight, almost breaking down when he described Rhodes falling. He dully explained Romanoff’s betrayal and the harsh words on the RAFT. He kept his eyes closed as he whispered about Siberia, about the video and the lies. About Rogers crushing his chest and leaving him to die.
Bruce was clenching his hands so tightly that his knuckles were white. He read the letter Tony mentioned and scoffed at the pathetic excuse for an apology.
Then Tony told him about Rhodes being in a coma, about how Potts and Hogan refused to listen after accusing him and leaving.
He quietly explained his injuries, how the arc reactor was back and his chest was dangerously fragile. He whispered about his fears over never piloting the armour again.
The genius fell into silence after that, slowly sipping at the bottle of water in his hand.
“Sounds like you need a vacation,” Bruce repeated from earlier.
“Haven’t been to Gotham in a while,” Tony murmured tiredly.
“I think the world, the Avengers and even your company need to learn how much you do for them.”
Tony looked up at him in confusion.
“Let them sort the mess out for themselves for once. They want to blame you? Then they can figure it out on their own. Besides, you still haven’t met my kids.”
A slight smile pulled at Tony’s lips.
“There’s no going back if the world finds out that Tony Stark is friends with Bruce Wayne.”
Bruce shrugged. “Friends is the wrong word. I don’t particularly care what the world thinks of my family.” He ignored the way Tony’s breathing hitched at the admission. “And by now, I think we’ve proven that things can’t get much worse on the enemies front.”
Tony gave a hollow laugh.
“Is this why you have a contingency plan for every member of the Justice League?”
Bruce nodded. “And the Avengers, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four. I have one for Iron Man.” He met Tony’s eyes. “Never made one for Tony Stark.”
Tony squeezed his eyes shut as his breathing hitched again. “You say the nicest things Brucie,” he managed to force out.
“Let’s get out of here,” Bruce murmured, looking down at the broken figure of his little brother.
“Okay,” Tony breathed. “Okay.”
Bruce packed Tony’s things with Friday’s guidance and locked down the lab and building. Then he helped Tony move painfully to the jet he’d arrived in. He had a long road of recovery ahead of him. What was Rogers thinking? Tony was a baseline human under the suit.
When Tony was safely settled in the jet Bruce got the bots moved on board as well. They were anxious over their father’s state and it would be wrong to leave them here alone. Friday was always with Tony through his phone.
“Ready?” Bruce asked as he settled into the seat next to Tony’s.
The genius was grimacing in pain but some tension had drained from him the moment they were out of the Compound so he was convinced he was making the right decision here.
The trip back to Wayne Manor was mostly silent. Tony drifted in and out of consciousness and Friday kept an eye on him.
Once he’d landed safely back at home, he half-carried the genius towards the house. Alfred was already waiting and was clearly worried.
“I’ve prepared Master Tony’s room,” he informed Bruce as they entered the house.
“Still got a room?” Tony mumbled.
“You’ve always got a room,” Bruce assured the genius.
Between Bruce and Alfred they got Tony settled into the bed with as little pain as possible. The three bots also settled in the room and Bruce made a mental note to move their charging stations here. They weren’t going to leave Tony anytime soon.
With some weak protests they managed to convince Tony to take his pain medication and after a few minutes, he fell asleep.
Bruce sighed as he left the room, after telling Friday to contact him when Tony woke up.
“It’s bad isn’t it?” Alfred asked quietly.
Bruce nodded grimly. If he ever ran into Rogers…he was going to beat the man to within an inch of his life. Or any of the Avengers for that matter.