Work Text:
Mrs Hudson: You boys never told me the story how you became a couple.
John: That's because we aren't one.
Mrs Hudson: Oh, stop denying it, John. I'm old, but I'm not stupid and I have eyes. At least at home you can be honest. So, would you tell me?
Sherlock: John's right.
Mrs Hudson: What do you mean John is right? Have you ignored all of the tips I gave?
John: Tips? What kind of tips?
Mrs Hudson: Oh, you know, the usual. Make tea, show interest, bring flowers–
John: Is that what the cactus was about?
Sherlock: Ignore her, she must have taken her herbal soothers before she came upstairs. Why don't you go to bed, Mrs Hudson?
Mrs Hudson: Stop being rude. Whenever John is on a date you come downstairs to whine about it, and I listen to your pining over and over.
John: You what?
Mrs Hudson: Look at the time. Sherlock, you might be right, I should go downstairs. Have fun sorting this out, boys. And oh, I sleep with headphones on.
John was reeling. Was that? Was she? Does Sherlock really? All of these were great questions. And John prayed he'd soon get an answer. "Sherlock?" he spoke tentatively.
Sherlock might as well have turned to stone. A beautiful white marble statue that would put The David to shame. His jaw was closed so tight that it was a wonder John hadn't heard his teeth break under the pressure. All the blood had drained from his body. He wasn't looking at John.
Perhaps that was for the best.
Sherlock cleared his throat. Still not moving. "John, you can ignore her. I don't know what has gotten into her lately - she's been mixing me up with someone else clearly." His voice was shaking.
John had never heard that before. Sherlock was always so composed and here he was. The remark had all but broken the man. John looked at him. Really looked at him. Sherlock had in fact done those things. He had even given John some facts when he presented him with the damned cactus. "They can live for up to 200 years John! You can also get purple cacti. It's called Opuntia violacea. Obviously, I didn't get you that one." He had sounded so excited when he showed the small green plant to John.
Sherlock was still looking away from John. At least some of the colour had returned to his cheeks.
"Married to your work?"
That got his attention. Sherlock's eyes snapped to John's. "She wasn't talking of me!" He snarled it. The words spat out between his clenched teeth.
John put on a disappointed face. "Well, that's a shame."
Sherlock leant forward slightly. Irritation disappearing from his face at an incredible speed. He was interested in what John was going to say. That much was obvious.
"Would have been quite fun."
John stood up. Picking up his mug that had some cold tea still inside. He didn't move far. Frankly, he was too scared to move.
"What?" Sherlock was practically whispering.
John hummed and looked away from his mug to Sherlock, "Oh, I just said it could have been fun if she was talking about you. That's okay though. A shame, but fine."
Sherlock's eyes widened. "You're... You're not gay!"
John picked up Sherlock's mug as well. He was stalling. He needed to know. "You're married to your work."
"You're not gay."
"I lied. You're married to your work."
"FUCK THE WORK!"
John couldn't help smiling at the mad man. He had flopped back in his chair. John turned and started to walk towards the kitchen sink. "Well, that really is a shame then," He was calling back behind him. He heard Sherlock stand. "You know. Hudder's talking about someone else. there is someone I'd like to fuck - and have wanted to for quite some time - and it most certainly isn't 'the work'."
John felt Sherlock's presence behind him before he was physically turned around. Luckily, he had already dumped the mugs in the sink otherwise they'd both be covered. Sherlock was scanning John's face. Taking in every detail. "John?"
Sherlock pressed in. crowding John against the sink as he kissed John. He was hesitant. That wouldn't do. Not at all. John pushed back. Sherlock stumbled back until he reached the kitchen table. Neither of them stopped kissing. They grew more heated.
This was right. John decided that this what exactly what they needed. John hadn't needed a rudding plant. All he had needed was this.