Work Text:
(Lounging on the bed, Aye slow blinks at the ceiling. "Akk?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
Glancing up, Akk blinks, a small smile curling on his lips. The way he flushes at the words, pretty red trailing down his neck, makes Aye want to scream into the abyss or maybe write a poem. "What brought that on, Shortstop?"
Sitting up, Aye just shakes his head, grinning. "Nothing, I just feel very in love with you today." He leans forward, blowing a kiss at his boyfriend.
Akk, ever romantic, snorts in response. "You didn't yesterday?"
Aye huffs. "Akk! You know that's not what I meant!"
Humming, Akk closes the lid of his laptop and tilts his head up. "Okay then. Tell me what you love about me." Really, Akk is a lot more of a tease than most people seem to think. Aye wouldn't trade it for the world.
"That's easy," Aye laughs. "I love everything about you all the time. You're -")
---
("- you’re confident when you're doing something you enjoy.")
Aye hates judo.
Partly because he's terrible at it, but mostly because it really, really hurts. Getting thrown around is in no way Aye's idea of fun, thank you very much. Plus, being that close to any sweaty teenage boy is just kind of a terrible experience in general.
(It’s not like Aye’s opinion on the absurdity of judo as a mandatory class will change anything, but he's still going to complain about it as much as possible. It's his right, and by god he will exercise it.)
Lying on the judo mats, Aye wheezes at the ceiling and decides that judo is the second worst thing to ever happen, the first being Akk himself. “Bastard,” Aye gasps, the breath punched out of him. “Did you need to throw me so hard?” He can feel every single one of his muscles and all of them hurt.
Still holding him down, Akk tilts his head. “Stay focused,” he admonishes, like scolding a child during class, and it’s almost insulting, except - no, it’s just insulting.
“I am focused!”
Letting go, Akk stands up and extends a hand. “Get up.” It’s lighter than usual, like he’s more comfortable, or he finds amusement in Aye’s suffering.
After a pause, Aye takes it, standing up and wincing.
“Come closer,” Akk says, lifting his chin. “Throw me this time.”
Weary of being thrown again, Aye steps forward hesitantly, but Akk makes no move to get them into position. So with a nod, Aye gets into the position Akk had shown him earlier - one hand on the sleeve, the other on the collar - and pushes.
Or at least, he tries to.
The movement doesn’t budge Akk in the slightest. After a moment, Aye tries again - unsurprisingly with the exact same result.
"Is that all you’ve got?" Akk asks, eyebrow raised. It makes him look annoyingly attractive, but also works to infuriate Aye because there is no way he’s losing to Akk of all people.
Exhaling, Aye grins and puts his full weight into pushing, straining - except the push overbalances and turns into a pull, and he falls backwards, taking Akk with him. Wincing in pain, Aye slowly lets go of his judo partner and - then Aye can't do anything but stare because Akk’s caught himself, bracketing his arms around Aye’s head, and he’s - smiling. It's the first genuine smile he's given Aye, and it lights up his face in a way that is deeply unfortunate for Aye's heart.
“You’re weak, Shortstop,” he says, and Aye can’t seem to stop looking at his lips. Goddamnit. Akk is already attractive, but an Akk who is confident and comfortable, an Akk who grins at Aye like that?
“Will you let me go?” he asks, except it’s less of a question and more of a desperate request because Aye doesn’t think he can survive prolonged exposure to that goddamn smile.
If there’s anything Aye’s learned today, it’s the fact that given the chance, Akk revels in being a bastard. “If you want to be free, try to squirm free,” he says, smile widening. “Suppose you can do it.”
Unfortunately for him, Aye is also very much a bastard. He grins, purposefully relaxing his body, and reaches up to grab Akk by the back of his neck. Akk’s hand comes down to automatically grip his sleeve, but his expression melts into the familiar wide eyed look.
Lifting his head up the slightest bit, Aye smiles. “What’s wrong, Bigfoot? You’re tense.” This is familiar territory. He can deal with this.
They’re close enough that if either of them move the slightest bit, they’d end up kissing. Akk blinks, swallowing nervously, and stares down at Aye like he’s having a revelation.
Aye tilts his head. “Hm?”
Akk hurriedly lets go and straightens, shoulders tense. “I’m - taking off. Just realized I’ve got something to do.” And he’s off before Aye can say anything, half running.
Pushing himself up into a seated position, Aye stares after him and grins. His muscles still ache, but the sheer delight of flustering Akk (and seeing Akk's confident smile, wide and vibrant) is unreasonably satisfying. He still hates judo, but if it ends with Akk looking at him like that?
Well. Maybe Aye can learn to tolerate it. Just a little bit.
---
("You’re also really, really cute.")
Aye taps his pen on the page, an old habit. The first draft of the introduction is fine, but there’s not enough information about a later point, so maybe if he references the other section and -
A sharp noise jolts him out of his thoughts, and he jerks his gaze over to Akk, who has dropped his pen, because he's… apparently fallen asleep sitting up, head nodding over the textbook. Huh.
Unable to hold back a huff of laughter, Aye puts his own pen down. Akk looks so - normal, somehow. It feels like an incredibly odd sight, to see the head prefect so unguarded and soft. He likes it. Quietly, Aye opens up the camera on his phone and points it at Akk, taking a silent picture. He’s not going to show it to anyone, of course - it’s just there so he can tease Akk about it later. (Aye's been finding more reasons to tease him lately, because he likes the way Akk always reacts, pushes back, stares at Aye with wide eyes and pink ears. He likes the way Akk looks at him, burning gaze tracing an unreadable pattern on Aye's skin.
And Aye's had crushes before, but they've just been...admiration, or maybe appreciation. This isn't a crush, he knows that much. And, well, it's not a crime to think of someone as pretty, so.)
Shaking his head slightly, Aye puts the phone down and watches with amusement as Akk keeps swaying. He doesn't want to disturb the peaceful look on Akk's face, but that position looks extremely uncomfortable, so maybe he should wake him up and ask if -
Akk's arm, the one supporting his head, slips.
Almost on instinct, Aye's hand slides out just before Akk can hit the table, acting as a cushion. A soft cheek squishes against his palm, and Aye holds his breath, hoping against hope that Akk hasn't been startled out of sleep. He looks exhausted, and Aye knows that if he wakes up, he will jump and run away as far as possible - and for some reason, Aye wants him to stay.
But Akk shows no signs of stirring, and after a moment, Aye exhales in relief. He tilts his head forward the slightest amount, and looks at Akk. He doesn't do anything else, just - observes. Because this boy next to him, all straight lines and rigid angles, looks like a dream. The tension bleeds out, leaving only a pretty face and soft eyelashes.
Gently, Aye reaches out to fix a flyaway strand of hair on Akk’s forehead - though it's really just an excuse to touch him. The movement is light enough that it doesn’t disturb Akk, but his nose twitches slightly anyway, like he can sense Aye’s hand.
Aye huffs out a laugh, almost despite himself. “When you’re beat, you’re pretty cute.” This way, Aye can see traces of an Akk that is so different from the head prefect it’s almost startling. Aye wonders how much of the blue armband is genuine, and how much of it is a farce. He wonders how much of that bright, teasing smile is the real Akk, poking through the cracks in the armor he's made around his heart.
Akk's eyes flutter open, gaze landing directly on Aye.
Slightly startled, Aye straightens, expecting some sort of reaction, but Akk just - looks at him. So Aye looks at him too, at expressive eyes and soft hair and fiery determination and shielded secrets, and wonders what it would feel like to -
Oh.
Oh, Aye likes him.
---
("You're kind -")
“Why did you bring me here?” Akk asks, though it’s phrased as more of a demand than a question.
Aye puts his drink on the table. For a second, he debates brushing off the question with another joke, but the reason he’d brought Akk here (other than, well, flirting) was to thank him. “I know you talked to all the teachers about not ganging up on me.”
Almost instantly, Akk looks away. “I talk to teachers all the time. You’re overthinking it.” The denial is very Akk-like, and ridiculously endearing.
“I don’t know why you helped me. But, well…” Aye leans back, letting a genuine expression settle on his face. “Thank you.” The simple fact is that Akk really tried to help him, even though Aye has done nothing but be a nuisance to him.
Akk blinks, and then leans forward, tilting his head. It’s not nervous - like Akk is less scared of whatever this is when they’re not at school. “I didn’t know ‘thank you’ was part of your vocabulary.”
If that’s how he wants to play it, Aye is more than happy to provide. Leaning on the table, he moves closer to the prefect. “Oh, I’ve got loads of vocabulary, actually,” he smiles, smug. “Why don’t you try and find out more?”
Akk stares at him for a few moments, lips almost pushing up into a smile, before he looks away and leans back. “Stop messing with me.” His ears are red.
Aye grins.
Straightening, Akk meets Aye's gaze. “Take me back. I have work to do,” he announces, as if Aye is his personal chauffeur.
Ignoring him entirely, Aye turns to look at the counter. “P’Golf,” he calls out. “Another one of these please!” Lifting his drink, he smiles in thanks when P'Golf gives him a nod.
Immediately, Akk leans in closer again and glares at Aye. “Are you deaf? I said I have to go back. I have work to do.”
Taking an obnoxious sip of his drink, Aye blinks at Akk’s still-full drink. “Bottoms up.”
Akk stares at him incredulously. Aye smiles at him.
---
("- and also sentimental in a way I didn't expect.")
Spotting Akk by the vending machine, Aye lights up. The head prefect is focused on his phone, oblivious to his surroundings, which makes it the perfect opportunity for Aye to flirt. An unsuspecting Akk is a flustered Akk, after all.
With a grin, Aye silently walks closer and stretches on his tiptoes, leaning his chin on Akk’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you answer my texts?”
Startled, Akk jumps, spinning around with a speed Aye doesn’t quite expect. Apparently, neither does Akk himself, and he fumbles the phone he was holding. Almost automatically, Aye reaches out to grab the phone, and - he really doesn’t mean to look, but the screen is on and Aye can’t help a glance down -
The selfie Aye had taken in the car, the one he guessed was long deleted, is on the screen.
Lifting his head, he looks at Akk, trying to understand. Akk’s eyes are wide, filled with something between fear and dread. His gaze flicks to Aye’s face before dropping back down to his phone.
Oh. Aye’s chest flutters. Akk’s face is unguarded, raw and honest in what he’s thinking, and it makes Aye feel a little bit giddy. “You said you’d delete it,” he says, but it’s a question more than a statement.
“I - I’m deleting it right now.” Blinking out of his stupor, Akk pulls the phone away from Aye. It makes Aye grin like an idiot, because the fact that Akk still has the picture of them saved? It’s - well. He likes it a lot. Glancing up, Akk notices his smile and defensively tilts his chin up. “Why are you smiling?”
Pulling his features into a slightly less infatuated expression, Aye shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says, except they both know it’s not nothing.
“Why aren’t you at the dojo?” Akk snaps, clearly trying to deflect.
Unfortunately for him, Aye has an actual reason this time. “You’re paired with me,” he says lightly. “Did you forget? Judo isn’t a one man sport, you know.”
“Who asked you to act up so much that no one wants to pair with you?” Akk retorts, and Aye politely does not point out the fact that Akk had volunteered to practice judo with him anyway.
Instead, he says, “You’re not deleting it?” glancing back down to Akk’s phone.
Akk blinks down at his phone, like he’d almost forgotten about it. “I am.” He unlocks his phone, and - it’s the response Aye was expecting, but it still makes his chest tighten.
“Wait,” he interrupts.
Akk glances up at him. “What now?”
“If you’re going to delete it, can you do it somewhere else?” Aye asks. “Don’t do it in front of me.” He’d much rather Akk not delete the picture at all, but saying it out loud would only make the stubborn prefect more likely to delete it.
Akk looks at Aye silently for a beat, searching for something, before nodding. “I will.” There’s something like relief in his eyes, but before Aye can make sense of it, he turns around, grabbing the drink he’d apparently selected from the vending machine, and starts walking away.
A moment later, Aye follows. "Akk, wait!"
---
("You try really hard to be perfect.")
The beach is cold, this late in the night. The fire, left unattended by someone, is a warmth that feels strangely distant. Aye’s skin feels too tight, the heat and the cold equally uncomfortable.
The night is peaceful, and it’s the exact opposite of how Aye feels. “Why did you do it?” he asks Akk, eyes already stinging with tears.
Akk turns to look at him, expression closed. “To uphold Suppalo’s rules.” It’s not right, that’s not it. Aye knows there’s something more, something he’s not being told.
He narrows his eyes, frustration and anger building. “Can you tell me the truth, Akk?”
“I don’t want the school’s reputation to be ruined while I’m head of the prefect club,” he says, and his eyes are shiny.
Aye stares at him incredulously. “You maintain goodness and peace by doing all those terrible things, Akk -?”
“I just wanted them to stop,” Akk cuts in, jaw tense. “I never wanted to hurt anyone.” At that moment, Aye kind of hates him. If only wishing worked to not hurt anyone. If only wishing for a dead person to come back to life every single day worked - then maybe there wouldn’t be a bottomless pit of sorrow right in the center of Aye’s chest.
“What you did was a crime,” he snaps, grabbing Akk’s arm. “What if someone died? What would you do?” It’s too close to the truth, and yet not quite. Akk didn’t kill Uncle Dika, but - “Would you be able to take responsibility?” Aye’s voice wavers, tears building in his eyes. He just - he doesn’t get it. The glimpses he’s seen of the real Akk, they’re not - he’s not somebody who would hurt people. He’s not - this.
Akk looks at him, expression unreadable, and Aye’s grip involuntarily tightens. He wants to know why Akk is so desperate and why he has built his walls so high that he is suffocating himself. He can’t make sense of this at all, why is Akk -
His gaze slides down to the blue armband under his grip.
Ah.
It’s a visual reminder of the stupid system that killed his uncle and Akk is wearing it and maybe - maybe it doesn’t matter why Akk is doing all of this, maybe it only matters that he’s doing it and he refuses to give Aye an honest answer. Maybe it only matters that Akk doesn’t trust Aye, and he doesn’t care about him enough to give him the truth.
He lets go of Akk, turns away from him. The fire keeps burning, and Aye tries to will away the tears in his eyes.
“I - just want to do my best,” Akk says, interrupting the silence. “I want everything to turn out the best.”
Aye turns to look at him, slightly incredulous, and then Akk’s voice breaks. “I just want things to be great.” The way he says it - it’s a real response, finally. It’s an actual answer, not just a deflection. And the words are almost familiar, and Akk is almost crying, eyes boring into the sand and shoulders tense, and it’s too much.
Shifting, Aye moves closer to him, pulling his face into his hands. “Akk. Akk, look at me. Look into my eyes.” Akk keeps staring at the ground, trembling. “Look into my eyes. Akk!” It comes out too desperate, but - Akk won’t look at him. “Akk! Look into my eyes,” Aye shakes the boy, and finally, finally Akk lifts his head, makes eye contact. His face is splotchy and red, and the sheer hurt in Akk’s expression is a confession of something Aye doesn’t quite understand, but maybe he’s starting to.
Aye takes a shaky breath. “Nothing is the best,” he says, voice wavering. “You can’t carry all the school problems on your shoulders.” Akk looks almost stunned as a tear rolls down his face, like no one’s ever said that to him before. It breaks Aye’s heart a little bit more. “Do you get it?”
“But I have to do it!” Akk’s response is almost instant, a denial. His voice sounds wrecked, like the words are spilling out before he can stop them. “If I can’t do it, everyone will be disappointed in me -”
“Screw those people!” Aye snaps, hands curling further around Akk’s face, pulling him closer. “Can you just not care about them?” Akk closes his eyes, cries harder, and Aye wants to scream. “Put yourself first, Akk.”
Pulling away, Akk's breath catches. “I can’t!” He goes to stand up, face turned away from Aye, but there’s no way in hell Aye will let him leave like this.
“Akk.” Pushing himself off the sand, Aye grabs his arm. It makes Akk stand still, and Aye just looks at him, vision blurry - at the boy who is so full of pain and a lonely hurt, and wants to burn down the entire world. “Once you say you care about other people’s feelings, it means you are disregarding your own.” He feels the tears silently roll down his face, but he doesn’t make any move to wipe them off.
Akk looks at him, cheeks streaked with tears, and there is a desperation in his eyes that feels all encompassing. He swallows. “But I can’t.” Akk’s lips push up into a twisted facsimile of a smile, an offering. “Because I’m a student prefect,” he says, and Aye can’t take it anymore. He reaches out and pulls Akk into his arms, feeling the warm weight of him against his body.
Aye swallows, trying to stop his tears long enough to speak. “You’re allowed to be weak.” He feels Akk tense, and tightens his grip. “At least with me.” It feels like he understands Akk a little more, and it’s - Aye can’t forgive him, not yet, but - it’s something.
The boy in his arms, beautiful and sharp and full of love for everyone but himself falls apart.
----
("Oh, you get embarrassed easily.")
“So? How was it? Did the book enlighten you at all?” Aye blinks up at the taller boy, expectant.
Akk hums, turning to look at the rain. “Do you think there’s someone in real life who is brainwashed like the main character in the book?”
“You,” Aye responds instantly, grinning. It’s not a joke, not really, but it’s close enough to one.
Akk turns to look at him. “You -”
Tilting his head up, Aye smiles, small and smug. “I know you’re just interested in the book I’m reading.” He knows Akk had been rummaging through his bag, but the fact that he decided to attend a seminar on 1984 just because Aye was reading it? It’s ridiculously endearing.
“Quit being a narcissist,” Akk gives him a sarcastic smile. “The book has been reviewed and it was interesting so I decided to read it.” His tone is sharp, casual, the way it only is when he's trying to deflect. (At what point Aye started recognizing shifts in Akk's tone, he's not sure, but it is what it is, he supposes.)
“Oh yeah?” Aye says, and when Akk nods, he decides to call his bluff. “Can I see the reviews?”
Akk bristles. “Why should I show it to you, Ayan?” He grits out the name, and Aye sighs, exasperated.
“Aye. My nickname is Aye. Everyone calls me Aye. You’re the only one who calls me by my name.” Ayan sounds too harsh, too pointed, especially in Akk’s mouth. Aye wants to hear the softened vowels of his nickname from Akk, wants to see how Akk looks when he says it.
Still, Akk isn’t anything if not stubborn. “I like it this way. Why?” he tilts his head petulantly.
“Oh?” Aye raises his eyebrows in challenge. “You don’t want to call me by the nickname because you’re afraid you’ll be too close to me?” Akk is stubborn, but Aye knows how to push his buttons.
“I’m not afraid,” Akk says, quick and insistent.
Aye smiles. “Say it then.”
“Of course,” Akk steps slightly closer. “‘Shameless’. Happy now?” And - it’s not Aye, not quite, but it’s a step closer to it. It feels like a victory anyway.
Unable to help the wide smile on his face, Aye watches as Akk promptly turns around and speed walks away from him. “Are you blushing?”
“None of your freaking business!” Akk calls back. Aye feels like laughing with glee.
---
("Also, you like me.")
Holding Akk’s face, Aye inhales. “Now tell me how you feel.” Akk looks back at him, and he looks so unsure of himself it makes Aye ache. But they cannot spend forever in that uncertainty, and so -
Reaching down, he carefully pulls Akk’s hands up to his own face before placing his hands back on Akk’s.
“I will tell you my feelings, and you will tell me yours,” Aye murmurs into the space between them. “Okay?”
And - Aye hopes that he's read this right, because - well. He knows Akk feels some sort of physical response to him, at least, but thinking someone is attractive and liking them are two very different things.
Akk doesn’t say anything, but he keeps looking at Aye with that desperation that feels all too familiar, and so Aye keeps talking. He’s not entirely sure what he’s saying, honestly - being so close to Akk, feeling his warm hands on his face is a little bit intoxicating. But Aye keeps talking, reveling in the warmth of the sunrise and Akk’s cheeks and Akk’s hands and Akk looking at him like that, attention focused solely on Aye.
Then something in his expression shifts slightly, the smallest of changes, and Aye forgets what he was going to say entirely. Instead, what comes out of his mouth is, “I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?”
And still, Akk doesn’t say anything, but he sways closer, eyes dropping down to Aye’s lips, and -
“If you don’t like it, if you’re not okay, let me know,” Aye says, sliding his eyes shut. And Akk doesn’t say anything, but he nods ever so slightly, and it’s all Aye needs right now.
He tilts his head, closing the distance left between them, and standing in Akk’s bedroom, they kiss.
They kiss, and it’s -
Oh.
Aye’s kissed people before, soft and awkward and fumbling, but kissing Akk is - it’s like nothing Aye has ever experienced. It’s impossible to describe because it feels like a sunrise and an acknowledgement and a hesitant eagerness and lips against his. It feels like Akk’s hands on his face and it feels like Akk’s entire attention on Aye, just Aye, and it’s ridiculously heady in a way that feels like a promise. There is poetry in the shape of Akk’s lips, though Aye has never quite understood poems the way he understands this.
He could keep kissing Akk forever, Aye thinks, but forever is a luxury they cannot afford. Plus -
Pulling back from the kiss, Aye reluctantly opens his eyes - to see Akk already looking at him, eyes unbearably soft. It feels a little bit like a fantasy, and Aye wants to laugh. His chest feels too small to contain the emotions that want to spill out and colour Akk in shades of pink and gold and love.
There is a giddiness in his fingertips, sparking and dancing, and Akk’s heartbeat is unsteady under his palm, but - he has to hear the words from Akk. He has to acknowledge it. “Can you tell me how you feel about me now?” Stroking a thumb across Akk’s cheek, Aye tries to keep his expression as relaxed as possible. “Can you, Akk?”
Akk looks at him with trembling lips, a plea or maybe an apology, and he stares at Aye like he is trying to memorize the lines of his face. Aye nods encouragingly and tries to read him, tries to understand what Akk is thinking. Aye won’t - he can’t accept non-answers, not for this. Aye needs to hear Akk say it - and maybe, standing in his own bedroom with the sun slanting warmth into the room, he will say it. He will acknowledge what is happening, and -
Akk pushes him away, stepping back. His expression shutters, locking Aye out. “I’m not like you. Do you hear me?” His voice is harsh, cutting in a way that belies his trembling hands.
Aye's heart drops. “That’s not what I asked, Akk. I didn’t ask if you were like me.” The words taste frantic on Aye’s tongue, and he can feel his expression dropping into something too honest, too soft, but he can’t find it in himself to put on a facade. His lips still tingle with a phantom pressure. “I asked how you feel about me. Can you tell me?”
Closing his eyes, Akk exhales sharply. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears, and Aye wants to comfort him so badly, but Akk needs to work through this, he needs to say it. And - Aye needs to hear it, he needs to know.
After a second, or maybe forever, Akk swallows. "I can't say it," he looks away, shoulder tense. “I can’t do it.”
Ah.
The refusal startles Aye. He was almost expecting it, but - it still hurts.
Stepping back slightly, Aye looks away, nods. He won’t be selfish about this. He needs Akk to say it, but Akk needs time. So that’s what Aye will give him.
“Okay,” he exhales, looking at Akk carefully. “I get it. It must be hard for you.”
And Akk looks at him, relief etched into the lines of his face, and it’s - Aye's upset, and the rejection aches, but -
It's overshadowed by the bone deep relief of Akk knowing. Because that look means Akk feels the thing between them too. Akk knows, and Aye isn't alone in this, he's not the only one with an unsteady heartbeat and trembling fingers. And the response isn't a no, it's not a denial. So -
“For you, I will wait no matter how long,” Aye says, and he means it. Akk knows, and for now - that is enough.
Akk looks at him with a relieved adoration, eyes cautious, and for now - that alone is enough.
---
("You're just - radiant.")
Falling in love with Akk is ridiculously easy.
Actually, it’s not easy as much as it is inevitable. Akk, with all his sharp edges and rounded corners and contradicting actions, is impossible not to love - and Aye has never been one to deny his heart anything.
They lie in bed, and Aye kisses harsh words off of Akk’s lips, asks ‘do you want to get together?’.
And Akk looks away, hides, but - this time, he answers. He responds. He says ‘yes, fine’ and smiles so wide Aye’s cheeks ache in sympathy (or maybe that is because Aye is smiling too, wide enough that it hurts).
They’re officially boyfriends now, and that’s - thrilling in a way Aye isn’t quite sure how to deal with. So he teases and pulls and pouts until Akk looks at him, and the thrill of the head prefect’s gaze is something Aye can’t put into words - but it’s something like a tilted pin and cold hands, a warm thigh under his palm and tears dampening his shoulder. It’s something like familiarity and - well, maybe it’s just the fact that it is Akk.
---
("You're fun to tease -")
"Whoa!" Aye can't help the exclamation of surprise as he's yanked into an alley. "Wha-?"
"Shh!" The insistent press of a hand on his mouth is vaguely familiar - long fingers and soft skin gently pressed over Aye’s face. "You're not supposed to be here!" Eyes finally adjusting to the dark, Aye squints at his attacker. Indeed, it's his boyfriend, a finger over his lips to indicate silence.
A smile spreads under Akk’s hand, and Aye sticks his tongue out and licks.
"Ah - oh, eugh! Aye, you're so -" Akk quickly pulls away, shaking his hand in disgust.
Aye grins. “Fancy seeing you here, handsome.”
Sighing, Akk narrows his eyes at him. "What are you doing in the restricted area, Aye? You're going to get in so much trouble if one of the other prefects find you here!"
Clearing his throat, Aye tilts his head up. "I just missed my incredibly cute boyfriend, so I wanted to say hi, maybe get a kiss from him?" Fluttering his lashes, Aye grins. "Have you seen him anywhere, sir? He's super handsome, has dimples right -" reaching out, he pokes Akk's cheek, "- there, and loves to yank people into shady alleys?"
Lips involuntarily pushing up into a smile, Akk rolls his eyes. “You’re actually terrible. I can’t stand you.” His shoulders relax at the joke though, which Aye definitely counts as a success.
Pushing his bottom lip into a pout, Aye blinks at the other with wide eyes. “Akk, come on.”
“You know that’s not cute, right? Whoever told you that was cute lied to you.” Despite his words, Akk is laughing quietly.
The look on Aye's face melts into one of fondness at the sound of his boyfriend's laugh. “Don’t call yourself a liar.”
Covering Aye’s mouth again, Akk shakes his head, dimples out on full display. “You talk so much.” Aye raises his eyebrows, but Akk keeps going, eyes sparkling. “How can I get you to stop?”
After a beat, Aye mumbles something from under Akk’s hand, eyes crinkling with a smile.
Akk leans in even closer. “Hm? Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” Oh, he’s so obnoxious, and Aye likes him so, so much.
Reaching up, he carefully pulls Akk’s hand away from his face. “I could kiss you, Bigfoot.” And really, it’s not even a threat anymore, but it still makes Akk's ears turn red.
“You’re all talk, Shortstop,” he grins, and his eyes are so fond and affectionate it makes Aye feel like floating. “You threaten to kiss me all the time, but you never follow through.”
“Oh, I mean it every time,” Aye steps even closer, until their lips are almost touching. “But I get lost in your eyes before I get a chance to kiss you. It’s not my fault you’re pretty.” He lets a smug smile curl his lips.
“Aye, you -” Akk laughs again, and really, it's impossible not to fall in love with the sound. “That’s terrible.”
“You like it!"
Akk's ears flush even redder, and Aye decides maybe he should come by the restricted area more often.
You know, just because.
---
("- and you're so... earnest.")
Aye shifts slightly, feeling the mattress dip. It’s late enough that he’s drowsy, and he can feel the pull of exhaustion weighing down his eyes, but Akk is thinking too hard about something and he can feel it. The restless energy is rolling off of him in waves, and Aye wants to ask but he knows if he pushes too hard Akk will close up on him.
Still, he's worried for Akk, so maybe he should -
Just as he’s deliberating asking Akk what he’s thinking about, the mattress shifts again. “Aye? Are you awake?” It’s quiet enough that if Aye was actually asleep, it wouldn’t have disturbed him.
Blinking his eyes open, Aye turns to look at his boyfriend. He can faintly make out Akk’s silhouette in the darkness, sitting up with the blanket pooled around his waist. “Mm, yeah.”
There’s an audible sigh of relief. “Okay. Okay.”
Aye frowns. There’s a tremor in Akk’s voice, an uncertainty that doesn’t suit him at all. “Are you okay, Akk?”
There’s silence, then the rustling of sheets as Aye sits up too. Neither of them move to turn on the side lamp - it’s easier to be honest in the dark. “I’m…” Akk starts, and then trails off. “Just - thinking. Sorry for disturbing you.”
Reaching out, Aye feels around until he finds Akk’s hand, interlacing their fingers in a comforting gesture. “You didn’t disturb me, I was already awake.” He pauses. “What were you thinking about?” It’s clearly something that’s bothering Akk, because Aye knows his boyfriend well enough to know that he would rather swallow coal than ask for anything.
Akk hesitates. “Nothing important, I was just -”
“Akk,” Aye interrupts him. It’s gentle, questioning - it’s Aye’s way of saying ‘whatever it is, it’s important to me’.
Inhaling, Akk holds his breath - and for a moment, Aye wonders if maybe he’ll brush it off, or give a vague answer. They’ve been working on communicating better, but it’s not always easy. Aye won’t blame him if Akk doesn’t want to talk about it.
But Akk, who manages to defy every one of Aye’s expectations, exhales, squeezing his hand. “I don’t know if I’m good enough for…this.”
There's a beat of silence. “What do you mean by that, Akk? Good enough for what?” Aye’s brows furrow.
Akk’s voice wavers. “For you.”
For a moment, all Aye can do is stare. “Akk -”
“I want to deserve you. I want to - be the kind of person who can deserve you," he says, desperate and rushed. "I'm - I want to be good enough for you." It’s clear he’s been thinking about this for a while, and it’s - “I don’t - I’m not a good person, not like you are, and I -”
Aye feels something inside of him shatter. "Akk, no - Akk, hey, Akk - listen to me. Listen." Gently, he pulls Akk's face into his hands. "You are a good person, you're not - you don't have to work to deserve - especially not me, okay? Never me. It's - you already have all of me, you don't have to earn anything, that's -" he shakes his head.
This close, Aye can see Akk’s face clearly. Staring at him with wide eyes, Akk almost looks like the way he did back when they first met - terrified of something Aye can barely see, barely understand. (It’s heartbreaking, and Aye wonders if maybe he’s the one who doesn’t deserve Akk - Akk who is so wonderful and beautiful and earnest and just - Akk.) Pressing their foreheads together, Aye cups his boyfriend’s face in his hands and exhales. He doesn’t say anything else, just silently offers reassurance.
After a beat, Akk exhales. “Aye.”
Aye pulls him into a hug, and makes no mention of the damp spot on his shoulder.
---
("Also, you're hot. Like, really, really hot.")
It's a well known fact that Namo has killer puppy eyes, but it turns out that his sister is even better - or worse, depending on the perspective.
Whichever it is, Four convinces Akk to model for her new clothing line, which means Aye is currently sitting on a squeaky and mildly uncomfortable chair waiting for his boyfriend to emerge from the changing room. “Four? Do you guys need help?”
There’s a huff of laughter. “I won’t do anything to your boyfriend, Aye, calm down. We’re almost done.”
Aye makes a vague noise of protest. “I’m not worried, Four, I just th…” Akk steps out of the changing room, and Aye's brain comes to a screeching halt. “Uh.”
Four grins. “I’m going to go make sure the camera is set up, you guys have fun!” Aye gives her a halfhearted acknowledgement and continues staring at his boyfriend, because, uh.
Akk is wearing a velvet brown suit over a cream colored shirt, and it makes him look like something directly out of a fashion magazine. The suit is just fitted enough to be tantalizing while seeming completely innocent, and Aye slowly trails his gaze up his ridiculously hot boyfriend -
- is that a low scooped waistcoat?
God. What the hell. What the hell.
Aye’s seen his boyfriend in a blazer before, but Akk in an expensive tailored suit is just - well. Aye is feeling every human emotion possible and sitting in a mildly uncomfortable chair outside a changing room wondering if kissing Akk senseless would result in him getting kicked out or not, so he’s handling this in a very normal way.
Akk shifts slightly, anxious. "Four also insisted on makeup even though I told her it would be too much, and -"
Makeup?
Aye thinks, faintly, that death by boyfriend is a fantastic way to go.
He'd been so focused on looking at Akk in a suit (which he's still not over, by the way, what the hell?) that he hadn't even made it to Akk's face, which is indeed covered in a light layer of makeup.
There's mascara, a light blush, and -
How, pray tell, is Aye supposed to survive this. How.
Akk tugs nervously at the hem of his suit jacket. "- and I think this color is - Aye, are you paying attention?" Akk tilts his head, lips shiny with gloss, and Aye just kind of - ascends a little bit. What the hell.
"Of course," Aye replies, paying absolutely no attention to whatever Akk is saying about colors. "Just - uh, could you repeat that?” He’s wearing a clip on earring.
Akk blinks. “What part?”
“...all of it?”
“Aye!”
“How am I supposed to focus on anything you say when you look like that?” Aye protests.
“I -” Akk looks embarrassed, but also kind of pleased. “It’s not that big of a deal, and I don’t know if -”
Standing up, Aye hooks a hand around Akk’s waist and tugs him closer. “Akk. Light of my life. Boyfriend. Beloved. You look so hot in this suit and makeup I literally cannot process anything except for you right now.”
Akk blinks at him, flushed. “Aye -”
“I really, really want to kiss you right now but you look so stunning in that makeup I’m not sure I want to ruin it, but also I absolutely want to ruin it and lea-”
“Aye!” Laughing, Akk gently taps his forehead. “Okay, okay, I get it! You -” he huffs. The slight tension in his shoulders disappears, and he wraps his arms around Aye's waist. “Thanks.”
With impeccable timing, Four ducks her head around the doorframe. “The camera’s all set up! You good to go, Akk?”
Glancing at Aye, Akk inhales, and after a beat, grins. “Yeah, I am.”
---
("I love everything about you, because you're just - you're Akk.")
There's a startling difference between loving and being loved, Aye learns. Loving is easy - it’s soft looks and reminders on his phone and bringing over food and making Akk laugh. It’s Aye giving and giving and asking for nothing in return because he knows that's what Akk deserves.
Being loved is much harder.
It's learning to accept help and sharing secrets, it's being cared for and thought about. And to be loved by someone like Akk is terrifyingly addictive - it’s him slowly learning to be more and more honest about his affection and asking for nothing in return because he truly believes Aye deserves that love.
Once he settles into his skin, Akk is a danger to Aye’s health, because he is ridiculously romantic and also utterly awkward, and it is so inherently Akk that it makes Aye want to kiss him senseless all the time, and also crawl out of his skin because the love in his chest feels like it will overflow.
"I keep a shelf in my closet just for your things," Akk shrugs, and Aye feels his heart clench at the casual promise of intimacy, of forever.
"I don't know which macaron flavour you like, so I got you all of them," Akk says, and Aye nearly starts crying.
“Can I kiss you?” Akk asks him, eyes sparkling, and Aye wonders if maybe this is a dream, because it must be impossible to be this lucky. Akk just - looks at him and Aye wants to hold him close forever. Sometimes Aye thinks he cannot possibly love Akk any more than he does, it's just not possible - but Akk makes it so easy. He just exists, and Aye feels drunk on his eyes and laughter and his…everything.
Aye grins, eyes crinkling. “Always.”
---
(Akk stares at him for a moment. "Aye, you're so -" he shakes his head, grinning. "I love you too, Ayan. So much.")