Chapter Text
Justin paced his room, hoping he wouldn't wake Debby and Vic. God they were so nice to him.. He didn't understand why they took him in. He didn't understand why Debby called him Sunshine. He felt the opposite. He didn't know why Elliot or Ted or Michael put up with him. He didn't understand why Brian slept with him. He didn't see the appeal of his body. Well... He was getting there. He promised himself that if he lost just 5 more pounds, he would eat again. He promised himself, 5 more pounds, Brian would love him and fuck him again.
Justin paced, chest heaving. He couldn't get his breath under control. He knew if he didn't, Debby or Vic would wake up.
Justin's stomach clenched, aching. He really should have threw up dinner Debby worked so hard on. God, he hated himself. He couldn't stand to look at himself in that fucking mirror.
He saw red, needless to say he blacked out. He came to, in someone's arms. His fist ached and his body hurt. He groans, opening his eyes. He first saw Vic, staring in from the door. He realized he was fuzzy, he felt his face wet. He knew he was crying. He looked up to see Debby, crying and holding him.
He heard her foggily mumble.." Sunshine... Oh sunshine..."
He looked down at himself, noting the blood. He saw his hands, bloody. He saw glass around them and saw that Justin actually broke the mirror. He looked down at himself and saw, in his black out that he had cut himself very deeply on his thighs with the glass he got from the mirror. He noticed himself shaking, he heard someone sobbing. He realized it was himself who was sobbing, eyes full of tears, he cling to Debby as he sobbed into her shoulder. He felt his breathing go back to normal, his eyes dry. He also realized he was probably getting blood on her so he pulled away.
." S-sorry.. I g-got blood on you..." He mumbles, voice raw and husk. Debby smacked his shoulder, sniffling." How dare you.. Worrying around me.. Stop it. Sunshine.. Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll talk.." With Debby's help, Justin got to his feet.
He felt a little dizzy so he held into Debby." I got you, sweetheart. I got you.."
Justin nodded, letting Debby lead him to the bathroom. She made him sit down onto the closed toilet seat as she rummaged around.
Justin finally look at himself in the light, seeing how he was still bleeding but realized he actually cut his arms as well." That's a first.." He mumbles, stretching out his bleeding forearms.
"What was that, baby?"
"It-it's just.. I've never cut my arms before.."
Debby stopped and turned to look at him, hands full of toiletries." You mean you..." She trailed off, probably not able to say it.
Justin shrugged." I've... Been doing this for a while.. I haven't had an attack that bad before but.. I've never cut my arms.. That's new also." He explained, looking down at them again.
There was silence, before Justin looked up at Debby. She was pale, staring at him. He panicked.
"I'm sorry I broke the mirror! Michael is going to be so mad! I promise this won't happen again! I promise! I'll-I'll be quiet! Please, please don't kick me out!" Justin begged, tears filling his eyes.
Debby crouched down in front of Justin and took his shoulder into her hands." Now you stop it! It's okay, Justin! How... How many of these do you usually have.." She asked, hands sliding down to his forearms. He watched her grab the supplies and start to patch up his arms. He flinched away, but sat still.
He shook his head." It varies.. Lately it's been almost everyday.. I never get this bad though.." He spoke softly. He didn't noticed that Debby had shut and locked the door when they got in.
"Please don't tell anyone.. Just you and Vic.. My mother and father didn't even know! Please.. Don't tell..." He said softly, pleading.
Debby shook her head." Sunshine.. You need help.."
Justin flinched from the words." I'm fine."
"No you're not! Now, I promise I won't tell if you promise to go to therapy."
Justin turned away from her kind eyes." Fine..." He said softly.
Justin let Debby finish, wrapping his arms and thighs up. He allowed her to clean his hands also, which have already stopped bleeding but were bruising already. Debby opened the door and lead him to the kitchen.
Justin sat down at the table, only to be set a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of him. He looked up to see Vic, smiling softly. He picked it up and blew, hopping it would cool down.
Vic and Debby sat in front of him, watching him as he took a few easy sips. His stomach ached. He put down the cup, preparing the yelling.
"Son.. You scared the shit out of us.. We thought.. Someone broke in... We rushed in to find you.. Hunched over with the mirror broken, cutting yourself.. Now I want answers.. What happened?" Vic spoke slowly, gently.
Justin shrugged." It's just a little freak out.. It's fine."
Debby and Vic shared a look." Listen, Sunshine.. I'm going to schedule an appoint for you to see someone.. Please go. I'll keep my end of the bargain if you do."
Justin sighs, knowing they would be on him relentlessly." Fine.. I'll go.. But, after my shift at the dinner. I don't want to mess /that/ up."
Debby sighs, standing up. She kissed Justin on the head before patting his back." Run along. Get on the couch and sleep." She pointed to it. Justin figured she didn't want him to be alone. He nodded and walked to the couch, laying down. He felt a blanket being put on him and he smiles. He felt himself falling asleep...
-deb-
Debby sighs as she walked back to the table." God.. Poor sunshine.. This is Brian's fault.."
Vic sighs." I don't know.. The kid won't say anything.. I should go up to his room and clean it.. Michael will be here tomorrow." Debby shook her head." No, go to bed.. I'll take care of it." Vic started to protest so she hit the back of his head." Go!" He stood, kissed her cheek and walked to bed.
Debby covered herself, sniffling. She felt so bad for not catching something was wrong with Sunshine. She shook her head and made her way to the phone. She didn't know what to do..
"Hey mom, what's up?" Debby heard the loud music in the background, letting her know he was at a club.
Debby sniffles." Baby.. I need your help.."
"Oh my god mom.. Are you okay??"
"I'm fine Mikey.. I-it's Justin.. Um.. I need you, Ted, and maybe Emmet to come over.. Don't bring Brian.."
"Okay mom.. We'll be over soon.."
Debby hung up, hoping everything would be alright.