Chapter Text
“Remind me again why we’re all the way out here, Law?”
“Stop whining Doffy, or I’ll tell Cora you’re mistreating your subordinates again.”
The larger man groaned dramatically, throwing his head of blond hair back.
“But it’s so damn BORING out here, why aren’t we sailing towards more… profitable lands?”
“If you’re referring to Alabasta so you can ‘ check in’ on Warlord Sir Crocodile for the 4 th time this month- “
“Alabasta! Now that’s a happening spot.” The giant man perked up, “Hey, why don’t we leave this dreadful old North Blue behind and go do that instead! Great idea Law, I knew I took you with me for a reaso- “
“No.” Law shut him down. “I agreed to let you and your disgusting libido come with me under one condition; we go after mine first, then you can go get rejected for the thousandth time.”
“You just don’t understand the chase, kiddo. The thrill of the hunt.”
“Whatever. Go pout elsewhere, I’m scouting.”
With that, Vice Admiral Doflamingo petulantly stomped off to his sleeping quarters, leaving a trail of feathers and Captain Trafalgar alone on their small vessel.
Law grumbled while forming another Room in his palm, “Idiot, the fact that he wanted to add those hideous feathers to his coat should be all the proof the Navy needs that we’re unfit to serve. Why did Cora insist we both had to enroll? This madman and I should never have been accepted into their ranks; Cora’s testimony be damned.”
The unlikely pair were currently out on a scouting mission, as requested by Captain Trafalgar.
“ What exactly am I sending you out to scout for, Captain?” his fleet admiral asked, silently begging for it to be some excuse he could write a semi-believable report for.
“I wish to investigate Vinsmoke Judge and his army. Germa 66 has been on the move as of late. I believe Judge is plotting to regain his former glory and conquer the North Blue again.”
Sengoku paused, turning around fully at his desk.
“That… sounds like a credible threat, Captain. Not like your usual requests… Why the sudden interest? Feeling nostalgic for your native sea?”
“Yes Sir, I desperately wish to confirm this threat to my homeland.”
Sengoku narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the young man before him.
“Cut the act kid, you’ve never been that polite to your Fleet Admiral and you know it. What. Is. Your. Reason?”
Law’s practiced flat military expression melted off his face. His eyes narrowed and his mouth curled into a cocky grin.
“Tch. Cora was right, no use trying to sweet talk, huh? I have an… interest in a member of Germa 66. I’d like the chance to meet with him in hopes of convincing him to join our side. He has shown signs of defection, as much as a Germa soldier can anyway. I believe he can be swayed.”
Sengoku sighed “Fine, that megalomaniac does need investigating, I’ll discuss it with Rosinante.”
Vice Admiral Rosinante had suggested Law take Doflamingo as a chaperone. As a show of good faith to Sengoku, he claimed, to prove his family could be trusted and the Navy could make use of their powers. Sengoku saw it as a ‘get this gloomy kid and pink lunatic out of my headquarters for free’ pass and allowed it, provided they check in with Rosinante daily via transponder snail.
Currently, Law was hoping to catch the trail of Germa’s main castle’s snail. The Germa kingdom was vast, could split into hundreds of smaller pieces as will, and had had no eternal poses made. However, the royal family’s massive castle resided on the largest of Germa’s snails. And nothing that large and heavy could move completely in the shadows.
“If Doffy could get off his feathered ass and use those strings to fly ahead this would be so much easier.” Law muttered, expanding his Room. “ Ugh, the Op-Op was not made for this kind of long-distance shit.”
A square meter of water in front of him flashed every so often, nobody other than Law would even know it was being moved. But the Captain kept his kohl-lined eyes fixated on the sea as he continued his odd task, mumbling under his breath to remind himself why he was doing it in the first place.
“The best I can do is swap out patches of water from the farthest point my Room can reach while keeping this dinghy at full speed. The second I catch any that has snail slime we’ll have a lead, and I’ll be one step closer to… him.” A smirk crawled across his face, his golden eyes taking on a dangerous gleam. As much as Rosinante had influenced Law, Doflamingo was still a presence in his life. Loathe as he was to admit it, Law knew he had taken on some of his other guardian’s traits when it came to affection.
Law had first been introduced to him at a young age. As a child, he’d been an enormous fan of the Sora, Warrior of the Sea comic series. He'd read every issue and talked his family’s ears off about it. As he grew older, he always held the series, and its characters, close to his heart, only to one day come to find out they were based in truth!
He delved into their family’s massive library. What little history he could scrounge up on Germa was bloody, Vinsmoke Judge truly was a tyrant. But oddly enough, there was no mention of his sons and daughter anywhere. His reputation was so awful the authors of Sora could use his kingdom’s history as a damn blueprint for their villains, if they used reality to make the antagonists of the series in the first place, who’s to say they didn’t simply keep using that same reference material to continue?
Law went over his theory one more time in his head .
If Germa 66 exists outside of Sora, then that means they might be real as well. Poison Pink, Sparking Red, Electric Shock Blue, Winch Green, and of course…
“Stealth Black” He purred the last name, his smirk morphing into a leer as he pictured the character come to life.
In the comic series, his siblings were cold, unfeeling war machines who often made Stealth Black the butt of their jokes, though the reason was never quite fleshed out. All the siblings possessed raid suits, fought against Sora, and were loyal to Germa 66; why was this one sibling, who wasn’t even the youngest, treated so differently?
For a man coming from a family of god-like modified superhumans, he seemed almost… mortal. Stealth Black had moments in the series where he expressed emotions his family never would. He was shown being polite to the royal staff, he got excited about missions based on what foods he could try at their targets, he showed mercy to civilians during invasions, and it almost appeared that his family’s treatment bothered him, which directly contradicted his supposed modifications!
These discrepancies had sparked multiple theories within the comic’s fanbase, who had been convinced that Stealth Black did not share the same modifications as his siblings and that was why they seemed to treat him as weaker. Law favored this theory himself, loving the idea that his favorite Vinsmoke could be more… attainable.
What had started as a childhood crush had grown over the years, Law found himself drawn to the pitiful villain. Wanting to help the poor character as a child and also wanting to bully him further as an adult - this is where Doflamingo’s very own brand of parenting showed its influence.
“Yeah,” Law began to pant slightly to himself, “I’ll track his castle down, and he won’t have a chance to escape. I’ll evade all his guards, his siblings, hell even his father. Ah,” He swooned, “He’s like a princess in a tower.” The Room dissipated, completely forgotten; Law leaned against the edge of the boat, gazing longingly out into the sea.
“LAW!”
… Until his perpetual headache of a Vice Admiral came out of hiding.
“Oh Law, I am SO proud of you!” Doflamingo crooned, forcibly sweeping his little recruit up, “Look at you with your little cruuuush! You know, I really thought you were going to turn out celibate, just reading your comics and medical books all day, never joining me and my executives for some fun back in the old days, but look at you now! I suppose you technically met this boy through those comics, and you don’t even know if he’s real or not… but that’s all semantics. Oh, Rosi will be thrilled ! I MUST call him to announce the possibility of Donquixote grandchildre-“
After regaining his breath from the feathered surprise attack of unwanted paternal instincts, Law quickly began to struggle in Doflamingo’s grip.
“How long have you been watching me you creep?! Put me down! And last I checked I was Captain Trafalgar not Donquixote, so our children will take my name-“
“A-HAH! We will be getting grandchildren then? I’m calling my baby brother NOW! He deserves to know, Law.” Doflamingo tutted as he wrapped one arm fully around Law and produced their transponder snail from inside his coat with his other, dialing Rosinante with his now free hand, ”Oh, Rooooosi!!”
The snail snapped to attention immediately, as if its owner had been anxiously waiting by its side, “Doffy? Wh-What’s wrong? Why are you calling so early?! Were you attacked, are you hurt?! How’s Law, is my baby- is he okay?!? Where are you?! I’ll leave in 5 minut-“
“WE’RE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS!” Doflamingo cheerily interrupted his younger brother’s panicked rambling.
“WHAT?!” The snail screeched, “For the love of GOD what have you done with Law? Why isn’t he talking? What the hell did you do???” The snail began to tear up, ruining its eye makeup.
Law shouted past the feathers in his mouth, “I would talk if you two could stop SQUAWKING at each othe- “
“Law!” The snail swiveled to his adopted child’s visage with relief, “We can fix this kid; it’s all going to be fine! The Navy has a great program for new families, they can move into government housing! Gotta say I’m- hah- I’m a bit shocked, but I guess you had to put the books down at some point -ha.” Rosinante ranted frantically, the snail looking to be a mix of pride, fear, and cautious optimism.
“NOBODY IS PREGNANT, CORA! AND I SAID PUT ME DOWN, DOFFY!” The Captain bellowed to the two fools that raised him.
Law managed to squirm out of the larger man’s grasp, hitting the deck and snatching the snail away. “Doffy is talking out of his ass again Cora, you are not a grandfather- “
“Not yet~”
“Not helping!” Law hissed, “Nobody is pregnant, and I do not require government housing, everything is fine, Cora. Stop overreacting.”
“… Doffy, why did you call me about grandchildren?” Much more relieved than before, if not a little disappointed, the snail turned to Doflamingo.
“ Because Rosi!” Doflamingo plucked the creature out of Law’s hand, “Our Law is finally becoming a man! He’s set out to conquer his love, just like I taught him!” Doflamingo’s chest puffed out, fatherly pride shining through. “He’s going to, and I quote, ‘track his castle down, evade all his guards and family, and capture his lover’! Our boy is a man who’s going after what he wants!”
“Castle? Evading his guards and family? Doffy, who the hell is Law… talking… about…. Oh my god.” The snail’s face fell as it slowly turned to Law. “Your mission request about Germa 66… Law don’t tell me. Are you seriously going after Sneaky Black??”
“It is STEALTH Black Cora! I’ve told you a million times- “
The snail whipped back around, almost tangling its eyestalks in its haste, “Doffy, you idiot! Law can’t give us grandchildren with his comic book crush!”
“No, no! Rosi, you’re missing important information!” Doflamingo waved off Rosinante’s scolding, “Law’s done his homework on this one, and I’m convinced he’s actually onto something here. Based on his comic book’s history or whatever, it seems pretty likely this guy does exist!”
Somehow the snail became even more incredulous. “…And Law, our Law, is going to pursue another human being in love?”
“Love, marriage, filthy passionate sex, whatever he’s after it means one thing for us: a bigger family! Even in the Navy, the Donquixote family lives on fufufu!”
As the snail stared at Doflamingo while he threw his head back in maniacal laughter, it slowly began to tremble. Law looked over at the tiny mollusk.
“Cora? Are you oka- “
“WAAAAAAH DOFFY!! WE- WE-WE’RE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS!!” Tears burst out of the snail as it wailed even louder than when Rosinante thought they were in mortal danger.
Law gave up and left Doflamingo and the snail to their own odd little ritual of dancing in circles and screaming the word ‘Grandparents’ at each other, retreating to the back of the boat.
“Idiots, both of them, complete idiots.” He grumbled under his breath, willing the redness on his face away. “Besides, we would wait to have kids for a few years, nobody will be a grandparent any time soon.”
Getting comfortable on the edge of the boat once more, Law continued his search, swapping out patches of the sea.
Honestly, we can’t jump right into family planning, where’s the fun in that? Can’t exactly get into all the physical joys of a relationship with the brats constantly running into our bedroom … A pout formed on Law’s face as he imagined his own future spawn having the audacity to stop him from enjoying his future lover.
I can’t believe neither of them have brought up that I can’t exactly knock him up with a grandchild. Though with the Op-Op… no, that’s a thought for a later dat- what the hell? He peered into the water he had just switched out with Shambles , a strange, glistening film on top of it.
“Don’t get excited yet, it could just be algae. Don’t get excited yet it could just be algae.” Law repeated this mantra in an effort to calm himself down as he brought the film up onto the deck. He reached his hand out to touch it, pupils dilating, breath growing heavy. He dragged his fingers through the substance, pulling his thumb and forefinger apart to test the viscosity. It stretched thin until snapping apart and a twisted smile crept across Law’s face – almost a mirror of Doflamingo’s.
“Found you~”