Chapter Text
Pearl is fine. Pearl’s doing… fine.
It’s been a few days since Double Life ended. A few weeks, maybe. Time has more or less blended into one big mess for her. & she’s… adjusting. Winning is different. The memories are more… real? They aren’t hazy, like how the Watchers wipe the emotions clear off. She remembers how it felt.
Starvation. Pain. Isolation.
It’s one thing when you abjectly remember the fact that you’ve killed your friends in an orchestrated death game. It’s another thing entirely to remember how it felt.
How good it felt.
How right it felt.
But she’s adjusting. To Hermitcraft. Not that she technically left, just… now she remembers.
Just the other day… week? Whatever. She was having fun with Impulse & Gem exploring the Deep Dark.
Now, catching a glimpse of the dwarf fills her with dread. She killed him. Well, she killed Bdubs, but they were linked, so same thing.
He killed Tilly. The only one who stuck with her the entire time. The only one who actually cared for her. But to everyone else – to everyone who had a soulmate – she was just a dog.
But Pearl is adjusting.
She doesn’t flinch away whenever she sees another hermit. Well, unless they were in the game.
She’s stopped self-harming. Twice. Two times now, she’s managed to distract herself for long enough that she never reached for the powdered snow or cactus… until she could categorize it as a new, separate thought.
Progress.
Her hand wanders to her blazer’s left pocket of its own volition.
Oh right, she hasn’t changed since the Deep Dark. It’s probably fine. Only… 3? Days?
The hand skirts up to the cactus needles she stashed in there. Now that being constantly in pain isn’t normal again, she’s been trying to preserve her extremities enough that it won’t hinder her work. That is to say, ramming herself into the nearest stone wall would probably be counterproductive. Jamming some pointy things into the meat of her thigh though…
She twists some of the needles around each other with her fingers.
Pearl’s wearing proper pants. She’d have to disrobe for that. Her neighbors could catch her.
She can’t go inside, though. That’d be admitting defeat. & at that point, why not undress & take a snow bath until it all melts from the heat of her unconscious, frostbitten body? It wouldn’t tickle Scott, but it’d feel so…
It’d feel.
Her communicator beeps.
<Geminitay was slain by Falsesymmetry>
Oh. That’s something.
How better to satiate her need of pain than getting beat up by a pretty lady? Somehow, that’s much more socially acceptable. Blunt pain isn’t usually what she goes for, but maybe it’ll quell the need.
***
Gem’s rules are simple. It’s an even fight. No armor. The only weapons permitted are wooden swords. She’s recently implemented a no food rule for once the battle starts.
It works a little. Gem doesn’t go easy on her, & she’s very good. It’s over too soon, & Pearl finds herself begging for a rematch.
Then another.
Then another.
“Could we switch to axes?” she tries. That’s what she used in the death games. She knows it better. The timing is baked into her.
Gem would put more force behind her swings. It’d hurt more.
The elf doesn’t think much of it & readily agrees. She plops down a crafting table & throws some together quickly.
Then they’re swinging.
Then she snaps.
Her mind fractures & she’s There. She’s not safe. Pearl isn’t facing her friend in a sparring match. She’s fighting one of her many enemies with bloody red eyes & they are going to kill her unless she gets to it first.
She doesn’t hear her wolves. She’s alone.
She’s alone. She’s alone. She’s alone. She’s alone. She’salone. She’salone.
She’salone.She’salone.She’salone.She’salone.She’salone.
Something wicked this way comes.
It repeats in her head. Distantly. Through the buzzing. Over & over.
Something wicked this way comes.
She loses her ax.
Something wicked this way comes.
She’s on the ground.
Something wicked this way comes.
She’s gonna die.
“Shh. Shh. It’s ok.”
Her heart still beats.
“I got you, Pearl. You’re ok. You’re safe.”
She’s not bleeding out.
“Come back to me. It’s ok. Come back.”
Pearl blinks. A few times. Eventually the world meets her eyes. It’s too bright & it won’t focus, but it’s more than just Red.
The buzzing fades. She can hear birds. Bugs.
Her pulse slows enough not to drown out sound & all the rest comes back a little too quick. It doesn’t quite settle in her ears.
Gem’s voice echoes through. It’s like she’s far away, underwater.
Her eyes focus, almost.
Then her senses are just about normal again. It takes another second to adjust.
“There you are.” Gem smiles. Her brow is still furrowed in concern, but the relief is stronger. The elf’s lithe thumb traces Pearl’s cheekbone. “There’s our Pearl. You calmer now?”
Pearl takes a moment to process, but eventually manages a nod.
“Good. Do you wanna talk about it?”
She shakes her head ‘no.’
“Ok.”
Gem’s hand is warm & soft. Pearl hasn’t been touched in a long time. Not without the sensation filtered through a blade. She leans her face into it.
They stay like that for a while, as Pearl meanders back into her senses.
At some point, she tries moving her arms. Gem’s free hand has them locked together above Pearl’s head.
“Oh, sorry. I forgot.” Gem quickly apologizes.
Panic sets in. Not because Pearl needs to be restrained right now – she’s calmed down enough for that to be unnecessary. But now that she’s noticed Gem’s hands on her, it’s not something she can just let go.
“Unless,” Gem states very slowly, a little confused. “You’d like me to keep doing that?” She’s staring at Pearl’s eyes. They must have bugged out in her panic.
Pearl gives her shallow, frantic nods. She can feel as much shame as she wants later. For now, it’s much too important that every part of Gem stays exactly where they are.
She returns her left hand around Pearl’s wrists. The taller woman immediately relaxes. Relief floods her system. A bit of heat comes to her cheeks because maybe she likes this a bit too much. Maybe it’s not just being starved of touch from Double Life. Maybe she likes being restrained. Likes not being in control. Likes Gem being in control of her.
Pearl’s hips move in response. It’s not something major she failed to restrain, just a slight roll as she settles into her position. But Gem certainly feels it. All of it. Her shorter form is splayed out across Pearl’s body to keep her in place.
Gem’s breath hitches. Every part of her stills, like a deer caught in headlights. But those wide eyes are darker than usual. A blush dusts her freckled cheeks when their eyes meet. Gem looks away.
Pearl keeps staring, fascinated.
Gem’s head falls back, aimed directly down, eyes closed. One breath. Two. On the third, they open. Her breathing gets heavier. Pearl can feel the rise & fall on her own torso. She’s staring.
Pearl is no stranger to admirers soaking her in. She knows it when she sees it & she knows what they’re looking at. & whatever Gem is currently fixated on is between her breasts or her mouth.
She doesn’t know why exactly, but she takes it as something of a challenge & stretches out from her collarbone to her jaw. Gem’s eyes don’t move. Her neck then.
Pearl loses patience. She’s gotten quite adept at stirring proverbial pots. The sound she pushes through her throat isn’t quite a moan, but it’s not an indignant squeak either.
Gem audibly swallows. “Pearl,” Her eyes trail up but fall short of their mark. She’s officially staring at Pearl’s lips. “Uh.” She shuts her eyes. “Can I…” Gem shakes her head a little. It’s very cute.
“Can you what?” Pearl croaks.
“Nothing! Nevermind. It’s fine.” She begins to move away, but seems to suddenly remember she’s promised not to & freezes with her hips in the air.
“Oh. Well, I was hoping you were going to kiss me.”
Gem’s eyes snap to hers. “That’s... That’s a joke. Right?”
Pearl makes sure the eye contact doesn’t waver a millimeter as she slowly shakes her head. “No.”
The elf just stares for long enough for Pearl to get frustrated. She sticks her chest out, gives an indigent pout & whimpers needily. It seems to knock Gem out of her stupor, but isn’t enough for her to act.
“Gem,” Pearl pleads. It sounds a little pathetic, but she is a little pathetic, so it’s fine. Maybe a lot pathetic, actually. The human (alien?) rolls her hips, shallowly enough that the other girl might not notice from her elevated position.
After one more shaky breath, Gem gives in. She gently places soft, plump lips onto Pearl’s in a chaste kiss.
Pearl relishes in it, but it’s not enough. She openly whines, without a care to at all hide her desperation. “Please, Gem. Please.”
Gem huffs something resembling a laugh. “Someone’s eager,” she teases. But her lips return. She keeps the pace slow, much to Pearl’s chagrin.
It’s everything Pearl wants.
It’s nothing she needs.
“Gem. I-” Frustration eats at her.
“What’s wrong?”
No. Nonononono. Fuck. She stopped.
“Pearl?” Gem collects her up in her arms.
The next thing she knows, she’s bawling her eyes out between the elf’s shoulder & neck.
Her frustration overtakes her, & Pearl sinks her teeth into Gem’s collarbone.
“Pearlescentmoon!” Gem protests, shoving Pearl’s head away from her.
She moans at the rough treatment & locks their gazes. The doe eyes look more perturbed than afraid & that’s permission enough. Pearl lunges forward, trying to mirror her bite on the other side of Gem’s chest.
She doesn’t make it. Gem rips her head backwards by her hair, eliciting another moan.
“Pearl! What has gotten into you?” Her tone is far too kind. Gem is treating her like a puzzle. She should be treated like a discarded toy. A worthless whore. An old rag to be pumped full of cum & discarded as trash.
She goes for broke. “Fuck me. Please.” She jerks her head, so it feels like Gem’s steady hand pulls her hair again. “Hard. & mean. Make me hurt. Please, Gem? Please?” Droplets of hot tears plop off her chin & jaw.
“Pearl…” No, no, no! Too soft. Too concerned. She’s going to say no, & Pearl will be all alone again sticking needles into herself, rutting against her splintery bedpost again.
She’s pleading over & over & over, but Gem doesn’t relent.
“Pearlescentmoon, you are clearly not in a mental state that can handle that kind of activity now.” She holds her friend’s head in her soft palms. “Sex is off the table, but I’d still like to take care of you, if you’d allow me. How about some food? Maybe a shower? You can come over to my place, if you’d like. Have a little change of scenery?”
Somehow, it’s enough to knock the fight out of her. She sags forward, into Gem’s embrace & nods.
Maybe this can be enough. For now…