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Amy choked back sobs, her stilted breathing making her dizzy. She couldn’t run home, not with her vision blurred from the threat of tears. Instead she attempted to mute her thoughts and dam her emotions while she speedily walked home. She felt like concrete, stiff and straining against a weight she wasn’t meant to hold. But she knew she could last a little longer. She had to.
She knew she was overreacting. Nobody was dead. Nobody was mad at her. However, even with them having successfully fended off eggman today, it was by the skin of their teeth and in no part thanks to her. Everything had gone wrong that shouldn’t have. She should have known better. Done better. From the moment she got up this morning she’d been having a bad day, and everything just seemed to perfectly line up to make it worse.
Emotions she refused to name writhe inside her stomach and pierce into her chest. Her lips tremble. Her wall is breaking, but through the water building in her eyes she can see the familiar shapes and colors of her home. She scrambles, nearly falling a few times but keeping her momentum. Practically slamming into the door, she pulls out her keys and has to steady her own hand with the other before she’s finally successful. Turning the knob, she sniffs, and her face begins to feel wet. Using her body weight to fall inside, she manages to take out the key and close the door before finally breaking.
And she shatters.
Her friends, for their part, tried to be considerate after the fact, but their efforts to console her were mainly in hopes that she wouldn’t cry. Its not their fault but today, today she just really needed to. However she could tell they were worried, and she knew she would be fine eventually, she knew nothing was truly wrong, so she gave them the most reassuring smile she could and promised she just wanted to walk home to enjoy the evening and go rest. It wasn’t a lie, not really. Just not the whole truth.
Now, all those emotions finally spilled over as she sunk to the floor in a pile of sobs. They found their names as they seeped out of her in waves. Shame. Frustration. Helplessness. Even a bit of loneliness. She dug her forehead into the floor as if that would help it swallow her, clutching herself as she shook, then layed on her side in a ball, her sobs turning to agonizing wails.
Her tears trailed down in odd paths across her face as they found their way to the ground, but she couldn’t be bothered to care. Instead she let everything roll over her as it ran its course. She cried out, and not remembering when she’d closed her eyes, only shut them tighter as she gasped for breath. For life. For relief. She let herself drown.
When the shaking had died down, she finally made the effort to sit up. Whining sobs still escaped her lips, her arms wet with stray tears. She reached up to wipe her vision clear, but she only seemed to cry more. She knew she would continue to cry, but she needed to leave the floor, so she continued to scrub at her face with unsteady hands.
BANG!
Amy’s front door slammed open behind her, and every part of her jolted at the noise, her nerves standing on end. Before she could finish turning to see what had happened, a deep huffing voice reached her ears.
“Have you finished crying yet?!”
Amy’s eyes met shadow’s for a moment as she registered his presence and his words.
Excuse me?!
Anger bubbled at his audacity, and she turned her back to him, hiding from his view as she continued to dry her face.
“NO-” she bit, “I’m not!”
It was then she heard a relieved sigh, and a crinkled thump as something hit the floor.
“Good” he says, and suddenly he’s behind her, arms reaching to wrap around her torso as he nuzzles his face into her neck. “That means I made it in time.”
What?! Amy’s brain short circuits, and she feels heat rise inside her face and chest. Her mind can’t put thoughts together, let alone find the words to speak, but the sudden affection disarms her, releasing the remaining tension in her body, and she shakes as her tears start up again.
For a moment, he squeezes her tighter, closer, and then suddenly the world is moving as he shifts around her to reach one arm beneath her knees while the other stays steady at her back, and he swiftly lifts her. She is briefly surprised, but the sudden new position allows her to lean into him, clinging to his chest, and she sobs. A new emotion finds its name as it swirls among the rest. Relief.
At the comforting rhythm of his steps and movements, she’s vaguely aware of sounds like a door closing and a plastic bag being moved. She doesn’t care. She just hugs him, feels his chest rise and fall with each breath as it puffs out his nose, his arms steady and strong as he walks, keeping her close and balanced.
Gently, she feels him sit down, settling her more into his lap so he can wrap himself around her once again. Their foreheads touch, and he begins to rub her soothingly as she shakes with fresh tears.
Her senses are no longer buzzing on high alert. She feels safe, and this allows her to flush out the rest of her emotions and the buildup of the day. Feeling her tears gather at her jaw, she raises her hand and tries at wiping them again. Suddenly her body shifts forward as he leans sideways, hand reaching into a grocery bag she hadn’t noticed sitting on the couch next to him at her feet.
He rips something open, and pulls out a tissue. Stunned at his preparedness, she doesn’t have time to react before he’s gently drying her face. There’s such care in the gesture and mindfulness in his motions that a whisper of a smile tugs at her mouth, though briefly. When he’s gotten most of it, she grabs his hand and slides up to take the tissue with no fight from him. She folds it, and blows her nose, finding when she opens her eyes again that he’s offering her a second one, with which she does the same.
She tosses them in the bag successfully (she’s had practice) and leans her weight back into him. Once again, his steady breathing soothes her, helping her find rhythm for her own as she calms down. With everything finally draining out of her, she feels like a limp wet rag, though one that’s very loved.
“How’d you know?” she whispers, her throat evidently dry.
“Hm?” he responds, his head slightly shifting towards her.
“How’d you know I was crying? You were gone.”
“We finished our assignment early. On my way back I saw the telltale signs of badniks, but by the time I got there everything was already finished and people were just trying to patch things up.” She winces. I didn’t even stick around to help. He notices and rubs her back a bit before running his fingers through her quills.
“However, you were glaringly absent. Everyone said you had a hard time, and even briefly looked as if you might cry, but that you were fine and had merely gone home to rest. I knew better” he says, emphasizing that last part like he was telling a secret. “So I quickly grabbed what I needed and rushed over as soon as I could. Sorry if I startled you. I can be pretty one track minded.”
A soft, brief smile slides back on her face involuntarily, and she nuzzles into his neck.
“Thank you” she whispers, breathing him in. He touches his lips to her head, holding them there for a moment while breathing her in as well. Then they move across her skin as he whispers “Always.”
Her smiles are growing stronger, longer, and more frequent. He clearly has an affect on me she muses. It's then that he leans back, pulling her with him. His expression changes as he gazes at her, as if he’s trying to read something, though she doesn’t notice.
“So do you want to talk about it?”
She takes a deep breath, considering, then shakes her head in a way that was more of a nuzzle into him.
“No. I just… This whole day has been awful. Nothing serious happened so you don’t have to worry, but I just want today to be over.” He nods, understanding as always. Another thing she loves about Shadow is how much he trusts her. If she says nothing’s wrong, he won’t press her for details. If she ever told him there was a problem, however, he’d be up and ready to go set things right, willing to wait for the explanation he knows she’d have ready.
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t make it all disappear. But I can guarantee that the worst part of today is over. Let’s make the most of the rest”. They touch noses for a moment, and the warmth of his words settle in her chest. Amy knows well enough to trust him, and she lays her head on his shoulder, filling with a sense of peace.
They’re on her couch, which sits facing a tv, the coffee table between the two. He speaks again, the timbre of his voice soothing her heart.
“Alright, love. We have a few options. We could watch something, or I could read to you. We could sit in silence or with music, and I would happily talk, or listen, if you would prefer some conversation. We could even scour the Internet for funny Chao videos.” He looks down at her. “The only nonnegotiable point is cuddling” he teases, fingers still in her quills.
“No complaints here.” She says. He gazes at her a moment longer, then turns his head as he leans sideways, reaching inside the bag again while he continues. “I’ve got this, to hydrate you,” he lifts his hand to show he brought her favorite drink, “this to cheer you up,” he raises a small container of icecream, though this time it's his favorite flavor. Her smile broadens. She likes the flavor well enough, but this means he plans on sharing. “And this-” he says, pulling out a small fluffy stuffed flicky, “-is for you to cling to when I leave, which won’t be happening tonight.” He then tosses it away as if the idea of her clinging to something instead of him when he’s right here insults him, though obviously in good humor.
“Hey! Don’t just throw my gift!” She says, sitting up slightly. She then wraps her arms around his neck, leaning in. “A very important person gave that to me!”
Now it's his turn to grin, and it’s unfairly dashing. She knows, however, that if she brought it up, he’d say something like ‘that’s because I’m gazing at you’. So she does the first thing that comes to mind, and tries to kiss it off him.
It clearly doesn’t work, but it was worth a try.
As they separate, he whispers “I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful with your things next time.” and gently kisses the side of her mouth, her cheek, her jaw.
She giggles. “You better!” Then she turns and swipes another from his lips before licking hers and grinning mischievously. That clearly catches his attention as his gaze shifts from her mouth to her eyes. His red irises are brilliant, full of warmth and burning with the fire that always sits behind them, sure and unfaltering. Ruby meets emerald, and they dance.
“I love you, my Amy Rose. And I’ll come running when you call. So call me, okay?!” He says, a tiny whine of desperation in his otherwise sure voice. He gently knocks her forehead with his own. “Text me a single letter, and I’ll know something’s up. Just-” he hesitates, and it sounds like his turn to choke back some emotions. “-just don’t cry alone. That’s what I’m here for.” His eyes squeeze shut for a moment before gazing half lidded at her. It tugs at her heart, seeing how it affected him too.
She nods, biting her lip to prevent more tears, and hugs his head. “I’m sorry”. He returns the embrace.
“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. But you don’t have to do it alone. I want to be here. To help any way I can. Even if that’s just sitting with you. I’ll sit with you all my life, Amy Rose.”
“Okay. Just… just promise me you’ll do the same.” She feels his head shift upwards. “It’s no fair if you’re the only one who’s there for me. I get to be there too!”
He lifts himself from their embrace and carefully holds her head in his hands, staring intently at her.
“Of course. You have my word.”
He then kisses her again, a bit deeper this time, and they shift and sigh before letting go. She hadn’t registered the taste of tears, though he had, but feels one drop on her leg and realizes she’s at it again. She giggles, wiping her eye. “Will I ever quit it with the waterworks?!” She says more to herself, surprised when he responds.
“I rather like them. They’re evidence of how passionately you care and feel things, though I never want you drowning in them.” He hands her another tissue, which she takes. “That’s why I’ll be here, to help you let it all out and then to pull you back up. Just like you’ve done for me.”
She pauses, her hand stilling at her cheek. “Huh? What do you-”
“Rose, I’ve had a lot of emotions to work through. But when I’ve been at my darkest, when I’ve nearly drowned, you always seem to pull me out. You show me which way is up.”
Her lip starts to tremble, and he brushes her quills aside before rubbing her cheek with his thumb.
“Neither I, nor anyone else for that matter, would be here right now if it weren’t for you. Big or small, you’ve already saved me a thousand times over. And I can only attempt to live my life in a way to return the favor. That has been my promise to you.”
Promise. The word triggers a memory. ‘I have to go now. I have to keep my promise to Maria, and to you.’ Amy has gotten to know more about Shadow over time. It's how she came to love him. She’s aware just how much his promise to Maria shaped his resolve in who he is and the kind of world he’d fight for. Did he… did he still view her as part of that precious promise?!
“Oh, Shadow!” She says, giving him the biggest hug she can. “You’re too good for me!”
“I’m only what you’ve helped me to be.” he says, returning the embrace. She pulls back, and now it’s her turn to stare him down.
“You have always been good. I just, may have helped you see that.” She gives a sly smile, and he can’t help but mirror it. He steals a kiss, then she freely gives a few more.
“And Shadow? I love you too.”