Work Text:
The walk back to the base was tiring to say the least. Casey Jr’s legs felt like they were going to fall off, and he felt nauseous from the terrible smells around them. He thought he’d gotten used to the smell of rotting bodies and bloodshed, but today was apparently different. Regardless, Casey pressed on. Following Master Donatello and Master Leonardo through the rubble towards the settlement.
“You okay back there Case’!” Leonardo turned his head to the side to get a look at Casey Jr, who shouted a “Yes Master Leonardo!” in reply. Leonardo nodded, and turned to face the front again before picking up speed. Donatello groaned, and followed suit. Casey Jr, the human of the bunch, struggled to keep up. Maybe it was his lack of experience, or maybe it was because he was still nauseous, but Casey picked up speed anyways.
He didn’t last long. Casey Jr watched as Masters Leonardo and Donatello grew smaller and smaller in the distance, not once looking back. Halting to a stop, Casey clutched his heart as his vision swam. He could hear someone gasping for breath, wheezing as though their lungs couldn’t fill with air. It took a few seconds for Casey to realize it was him. This never happened before, except when he got sick with the flu and his asthma acted up, but he was fine this morning! He’d know if he was sick!
Slowly, Casey Jr limped towards a collapsed building. Its many windows shattered, glass littering the floor that crunched with each step, pillars of concrete holding the building up on an angle, perfect for Casey Jr to hide under. He shuffled closer, taking cautious glances around him and into the darkness. A hand reached back for his hockey-saw, and he brought it down to use as a crutch.
Dink, dink, dink went the metal end of his hockey-saw. Ba-dum ba-dum went Casey Jr’s pounding heart. Crunch crunch went the glass beneath his feet. Until finally he collapsed against a concrete pillar, his back sliding down the gray mass until he was sat on the dusty, rubble-covered ground.
“Dammit,” he cursed, raising the hand clutching his chest to his mask, tapping the release button on the side. The mask lifted up, and Casey Jr coughed as the unfiltered air entered his lungs. His other hand clutched tightly to his hockey-saw in case he was attacked. He wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
Casey should signal for help. He should send out an SOS signal from his comm. Reaching into his pocket with his now lowered hand, Casey rummaged through his pocket until he grasped a circular device. Pulling it out, Casey felt tears spring into his eyes. Staring at himself through a broken reflection, the teenager came to the realization that his only source of hope was broken. Useless.
He shouldn’t cry. Hopefully Master Leonardo realized he was missing, or maybe Master Donatello’s system picked up on his distress and is leading them to him right now.
Hope, a ninja's greatest weapon, wasn’t lost. Not yet.
Sprinting through the wasteland, Leonardo’s only goal was getting everyone home safely. Donatello, his twin, was right beside him, running as fast as his legs could allow him. Leo knew Casey Jr was right behind them. In a fond way, the red-eared slider compared Casey to a duckling. Always following them around, never too far away. Wherever there was a Hamato, there was a Jones. That’s how it was, and how it will always be.
A beeping sound interrupted Leonardo’s thoughts. His brother halting in place stopped him completely.
“What happened,” he asked, glancing around only to notice..
“..Casey’s not here, and I can’t pick up a signal from his comm.”
Don’t panic, Leo reminded himself, the last thing we need is you panicking.
“How far back do you think he is?”
“I can’t determine. His comm must’ve been broken for a while. Probably during the fight with the Kraang Dogs.”
“Shit,” Leonardo cursed, his metal hand resting on his sword unconsciously.
“He’ll be fine,” Donatello reassured, more to himself than Leonardo, but no one needs to know that. From his battle-shell, small drones flew out and sped back to where the duo came. Before Leo could ask, Donnie was already answering.
“I’m sending out drones to look for him. They’ll send a signal when they find him.”
Leonardo nodded stiffly, turning to face the direction the drones were flying, a grim expression on his face as his thumb caressed the masks of their fallen brother. Donatello’s gaze drifted to Leo’s grasp, and his expression tightened. Swallowing the knot in his throat, Donatello stepped towards his twin and placed a comforting hand on his organic shoulder. Leonardo’s head turned to see the taller, and is met with a stern but understanding look.
“We’ll find him. I promise.”
It’s spreading, Casey duly noted, eyes downcast at the ground as his body trembled. He felt cold despite the constant heat since the invasion, shaking like a leaf against the concrete, hoping to be found. His gaze drifted to his thigh, more specifically: where his comm was kept. The fabric was turning a deep red, stained with the blood from a wound Casey hadn’t realized was there until now.
Must’ve been the adrenaline, he concludes, I should probably do something about it.
Sluggishly, Casey lowered his hockey-saw so it rested on the ground beside him. From his other pants pocket, he pulled out a roll of bandages. They were stained a dark red in some spots as they had to reuse whatever materials they had, but it worked. Not caring to lower his pants for a more direct wrap, Casey rolled the bandages around his thigh around, and around. His hands trembled as he did so, the wrapping coming out sloppy and loose as a result.
Not that it matters, Casey mentally chuckles, They won’t find me in time.
In time for what exactly? Even with his adrenaline-filled haze, Casey remembers getting this wound. A Kraang Dog had bitten him, and Casey had stabbed his saw into its spine, effectively killing it and making a mess of blood and gore around him. At the time, Masters Leonardo and Donatello didn’t pay him any mind, but now…
I don’t want to become one of those things.
…now Casey wished they did. At least then he could die in his Sensei’s arms, surrounded by warmth and safety.
I’m only fifteen, he silently cried, I don’t want to die.
He wanted to cry, be held, or maybe both. Yet, as seconds ticked by, Casey found himself wanting those things less and less. He didn’t want to feel, he didn’t want anything.
(A small part of Casey, the true Casey, screamed for control. He didn’t want to fade away. He didn’t want to disappear or be forgotten. Stop it please!)
Slowly, Casey rose to his feet. Hockey-saw forgotten, the teenager ventured out of the safety of the building and into the open world. Staring at the floor, Casey limped farther and farther away from the shelter without a destination. He was a wanderer, wandering this wasteland, searching. He wasn’t sure for what, but he needed to find it. He couldn’t move on without it, and so he kept pushing.
He’ll find it…eventually.
“They found him,” Donatello cut through the silence that befell the twins just moments after Donnie’s promise. Since then, they’d set up camp inside an old antique shop. The blinds closed and the door barricaded, the two settled down while they waited for Donnie’s drones to find the teen.
“Let’s go,” was the command that set everything into action. Leonardo got up from his spot on the floor and began to move the drawer out of the way of the door. Donatello activated the GPS signal on the drone, and soon enough, the duo was out once more. This time: in search of their pseudo-son.
It’s almost funny how it happened. One day Cassandra was pregnant with twins and the next: Casey was born. He had absorbed his twin in the womb to which Cassandra remarked, “my little badass.” When Casey Jr cried for the first time, the entire base rejoiced. Finally, a beacon of hope in this hellhole. Hearing Casey Jr cry was like a miracle, and it was. No one expected Cassandra to become pregnant. Hell, they didn’t even know until Cassandra threw up on the training mat and Donatello forced her to get a check-up.
Little miracle, Cassandra called him, and then promptly named him after herself in the typical Cassandra Jones style. Leonardo remembers when she dumped Casey Jr on him while he was making plans to infiltrate a Kraang Camp. Casey had called him “dada” and it melted his heart. Though he had to admit, the fear of Cassandra finding out overwhelmed him a bit more than the fondness he had for this child.
And now his pseudo-son was out there. Alone.
Leonardo shook his head of the thought, and followed after Donatello as he ran ahead.
“How far?!” Leonardo shouted as he caught up to the younger twin.
“Five miles south! Galileo, how did he get so far,” Donatello huffed as he ran, focused on keeping his breathing steady as the dusty air was filtered through his half-gas mask which covered the lower half of his face.
They ventured onwards with surprisingly little trouble. A foreboding feeling settled in the twin’s guts, a sense of wrongness in their hearts. It’s because Casey’s not here, they reassured themselves, it’ll go away when we get him back.
Mile after mile, step after step, the pair grew closer towards their target. Soon enough, a stumbling silhouette appeared in the distance and despite the danger, Leonardo called out.
“Casey! Case’ we’re here!” His voice echoed through the empty city streets, bouncing off the walls of the concrete jungle. The figure, Casey, stopped moving for a moment before turning on his heel and stumbling in their direction.
“Leo..” Donatello warned, slowing his pace to a walk, “something’s wrong.”
Leonardo skidded to a stop, his head turning to Donatello, to Casey, then back to Donatello. He didn’t know why they stopped, let alone the point Donatello is trying to make. Casey was right there and they needed to bring him home, simple as that! So why did they stop?
“His hockey-saw. Where is it?” Donatello used the drone which followed Casey loyally to scan him for his weapon, but nothing came up. Didn’t Casey have it when they last saw him? What happened between then and now?
“He probably lost it or fought something and it broke. I don’t know,” Leonardo narrowed his eyes at the closer figure, noticing several things different from when he last checked in on the boy.
The stumbling, the lack of a weapon, the bandages wrapped around his thigh, everything about it was wrong. Casey, his sunshine, his ball of energy, his hope, shouldn’t look so defeated.
“Proceed with caution,” Leonardo orders, and the twins close in on him. From where they were, Casey Jr looked worse for wear. Donatello made a mental note to have him checked out at the base after they brought him home.
“Case’?” Leo called out, his head tilted to the side just slightly so he could get a better look at the boy.
“Casey?” His twin echoed, using the camera of his drone to zoom in on him.
Then, as though gravity had finally taken hold of him, Casey collapsed. The twins raced forward to catch him, only to arrive seconds too late as Casey’s knees scraped against the concrete ground. Donatello winced as Leonardo bent over to lift Casey by the arms.
“Are you alright,” he whispered, checking the teen over for any grave injuries. When met with silence, Leonardo lifted Casey’s head to get a look at his face.
“Casey?” Donatello asked, looking over Leonardo’s shoulder to get a look at him as well. Everything seemed alright except Casey wasn’t talking.
“Say something to me Case’,” Leonardo scanned the boy’s face for any sign of concussion or head trauma. Nothing. He couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with him. Not yet at least. Their equipment was back at the base, but until Casey says something, they’re not going anywhere.
Casey blankly stared at Leonardo. There was nothing behind his eyes. Not a single thought, desire, or form of recognition. It’s like he was seeing through Leonardo, and honestly, it terrified the leader. He was responsible for Casey, for them all. He can’t fail him. He can’t fail Cassandra. Not again.
Slowly, Casey’s eyes drifted downwards, and a single word slipped past his lips, so quiet Leonardo could barely hear it.
“..h’lp..”
Leonardo’s heart stopped, and for a moment everything was still. Donatello was equally terrified, but he knew the signs better than anyone, and began to back away from the duo.
“Leo, let him go,” Donnie warned, his hand hovering over his tech-bo. He hated this. He hated hated hated this. Why did this have to happen? Why can’t they bring everyone home for once. Why why why?
“Donnie, don’t do this,” Leonardo pleaded, pulling Casey Jr close to his plastron. A three-fingered hand brushed through the boy’s hair and oh. He was so small compared to Leo, fragile almost like the day he was born.
“He’s infected Leo. There’s nothing we can do.”
“There has to be something!”
“Like what!” Donatello exclaimed, and only then did Leo realize that he was struggling too. If his rising nerves were enough to tell how on-edge Donnie was, Leonardo also had enough sense to know how attached Donatello was to Casey. He was the one who delivered him, after all.
Taking a steadying breath, Leonardo calmed himself before coming up with a plan of action.
“I don’t know, but I…I can’t kill him Donnie.” A confession, a plea. Leonardo didn’t- no, couldn’t fathom being the one to kill his pseudo-son. Not Casey, anyone else but him.
“I know,” Donatello sighed, removing his half-gas mask to reveal a frown, “I know.”
There’s a moment of silence between them all. Casey Jr’s body trembling in Leo’s hold, making the slider wonder why he hadn’t become one of them yet.
It would be easier if he was, Leonardo lied to himself. I don’t want to give him up. Not yet.
Leonardo clutched Casey Jr tighter, fresh tears of a man who learned to grieve quickly springing to his eyes, mourning a boy who wasn’t even dead. Guilt ate Leonardo alive at the thought. Casey wasn’t dead and yet, he’s already mourning. How dare he mourn. How dare he grieve. It’s his fault this happened. His fault the Kraang invaded, his fault they lost Raph, and now Casey too.
Take me instead! Leonardo begged to whatever god would listen. Spare my son!
“I’ll do it,” Donatello cuts through Leonardo’s thoughts like a knife. The words only registered after a brief moment of confusion, which quickly turned to shock and denial.
“No. No, I won’t let you do that. I-” Leonardo took a breath, “I’ll do it.”
“Are you sure?” Donatello approached the duo, staring down at Leonardo and Casey with an unsure expression. He wasn’t used to being unsure. Donatello was supposed to be the smart one, the cold one. He wasn’t supposed to second-guess himself or be the victim to emotions.
But for Casey Jr…his beloved nephew…Donatello would give him the world.
“Yeah…yeah.”
Leonardo lowered himself and Casey onto the floor, positioning Casey Jr so he was kneeling between him and Donatello, who had turned his back to the display. The boy’s head was still downcast, and Leonardo made sure he could hold himself upright before unsheathing his sword with his metal hand.
(He didn’t want to feel the pressure of the sword pushing through his son. He didn’t want to feel anything.)
“I’m so sorry Casey,” Leo apologized, directing the tip of the sword to the boy’s stomach, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry-”
SQULSH-!!
“-i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry..” Leonardo wheezed as his body trembled. Pulling the sword out and tossing it aside, Leonardo turned Casey so he laid in his arms, cradled close to his plastron.
“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay,” Leonardo shushed, Casey’s eyes drifting upwards towards Leo’s own and finally, recognition set in.
“Dad-” Casey gasped, his body convulsing with each cough that wracked his body.
“I’m here Case’, I got you,” Leonardo removed Casey’s mask and brushed his hair out of his face. His boy, his sweet baby boy, was dying and it was his fault. Casey turned his head so his nose was pressed against Leo’s plastron, and faintly the duo could feel Donatello come to sit beside them.
“Uncl’ Don’ie?” Casey asked, looking around for the man in question.
“Right here Casey, I’m right here,” Donatello whispered, moving so he was on Casey’s other side. He took one of Casey’s hands in his own, rubbing his thumb against the back of it.
Casey smiled, and turned so he was resting against Leonardo’s plastron again. His eyes began to droop, and the twins knew what was going to come next. Donatello’s gaze shifted upwards, swallowing back tears, but Leo couldn’t stop staring. He wanted to watch Casey’s last moments. He wanted to be there for it all, just like he was at the beginning. Back when Casey struggled to sleep without a special song, a lullaby Leonardo heard on the television in his youth.
“Remember me, though I have to say goodbye-”
Casey’s eyes closed, and his heartbeat began to slow.
“Remember me. Don’t let it make you cry.”
Leonardo could feel his boy slipping away to somewhere he couldn't reach him. Hopefully Raph will take care of him.
“For even if I’m far away, I hold you in my heart.”
Casey Jr whines, and Leonardo shushes him, rocking them back and forward just like when Casey was smaller. Just like Raph used to do.
“I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart.”
Sucking in a breath to stop himself from choking on empty sobs, Leonardo cleared his throat and continued.
“Remember me, though I have to travel far.”
Casey went limp in his arms.
“Remember me, each time you hear a sad guitar..”
He had to finish this damn lullaby.
“Know that I’m with you the only way that I can be..”
For Casey. For himself.
“Until you’re in my arms-”
He couldn’t do it. Choking on held back tears, Leonardo’s body shook and flinched with each gut-wrenching sob that slipped past the knot in his throat. Donatello fared no better, refusing to even look at them as he let a few stray tears slip past his tough exterior.
In the distance, seven or so miles away, a mother feels her world end and doesn’t know why.