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Kel is, from a very young age, the type of boy who sticks his tongue out and yells ewwwwww whenever the topic of dating (or anything remotely romantic) comes up. He gags through the whole of The Princess Bride and makes a big show of plugging his ears and looking away whenever Mari and Hero flirt. It’s a pretty stark contrast next to Basil and Aubrey, who are prone to huddling together and gushing about how well Hero and Mari work together as a couple. Sunny feels the same as they do, but he’s not really the gushing type, so mostly he just listens. He likes listening though, unlike Kel, who always pretends like he’s going to choke and die whenever the topic comes up.
This has been a consistent characteristic of Kel’s, and despite Mari’s assurances that he’ll probably grow out of it, a part of Sunny is completely ready to take it at face value. So much so that when Kel one day looks over at Sunny, head tilted to the side, and says, “Hey, do you wanna kiss me?” Sunny’s immediate reaction is to choke on his crustless PB&J and lean forward sputtering.
Kel thumps him on the back. Sunny appreciates it, because for two and a half seconds, he really feels like he’s dying. Then it’s okay, and Sunny puts the sandwich down to sign, but finds himself at a loss for words. Kel has always been the type to whine all the way through kiss scenes in movies. He even gets on his own parents for PDA. (Which must be a constant struggle, since the Montoyas are so much more liberal with their affection than Sunny’s parents.) Sunny can’t imagine why Kel would ask him a question like that.
With this in mind, Sunny eventually regains his motor control enough to sign, Why? and squints over at Kel, his eyes still watering a little in the wake of his coughing fit. The question gets a sheepish smile out of his friend. It’s hard to tell in the lighting—it’s a sunny day, but they’re sitting in the shade of a tree at their hangout spot—but Sunny almost thinks he can see a bit of a flush to Kel’s tanned cheeks. Huh.
“Well I mean… you know. Don’t you ever get curious what it feels like?”
Sometimes, Sunny signs. Mari kisses me on the cheek all the time though.
“Hero does too, but that’s not what I meant,” Kel huffs, his cheeks puffing out. Sunny reaches to poke the air out of one of them, and it coaxes a grin back onto his friend’s face. Kel’s skin is warm with his flush. Or maybe just warm from the sun, Sunny can’t tell. “I mean like… a real kiss. On the lips and stuff.”
Oh, Sunny thinks.
Oh, Sunny signs. Well… sometimes.
Kel nods. Rocks back and forth a little, the heels of his shoes skidding through the mud. His head is tilted back slightly, and he looks like he really wants to say something. Sunny has a guess as to what that is on context clues alone, but thinking about Kel is filling his stomach with butterflies, so he has to look away for a moment, balling his hands in the fabric of his pants.
He recalls something Mari said to Aubrey a while ago, when Sunny overheard them talking about her relationship with Hero. She’d said that their relationship had been incredibly gradual, that she’d known Hero had loved her for a long time before they actually made it official, but that she’d known for sure they were actually dating when they kissed on the lips for the first time. Sunny hadn’t stuck around to try and hear more details, because Mari is his sister, and also because he doesn’t have a whole lot of interest in prying into her relationship… but the thought stands out in his mind now.
Is Kel asking him to be his boyfriend, maybe? That must be it, right? Kel can be pretty weird about saying exactly what he feels sometimes, often preferring to switch subjects into something completely different when the mood dips too much. Sunny doesn’t mind that about him, but it does mean he has to do a lot of guesswork if he wants to get anywhere with his friend. Including right now. Not that Sunny thinks Kel particularly needs a reason to ask to kiss, but…
“So…” Kel looks over at Sunny, eyes shining somewhat even in the shade, and smiles almost shyly. “Do you wanna kiss me?”
Sunny thinks about it. He likes Kel, his big smile and his warm hands and his carefree attitude. He’s funny and nice and he makes Sunny feel comfortable. There are very few people who Sunny is really okay with touching him, with looking at him and seeing him so completely in the way that Kel does… but Kel is definitely one of them.
So… Sunny nods. And then he scoots closer and puckers his lips, because he’s not really sure what else to do. Kel adjusts himself a few times, and Sunny can feel it from where he’s sitting, and then—
It’s the quickest little peck of their lips. It makes a smacking sound, not unlike the big mwah! Mari makes every time she kisses Sunny on the head. It’s such a brief touch, all Sunny can really process in the wake of it is that Kel’s lips are… really, really warm. And chapped. Sunny feels in his pocket for chapstick, then hesitates, since he’s been using it on his own lips and it’d probably be weird to offer.
On the other hand, if that kiss just now means they’re dating, maybe it’s not weird. Sunny takes out the chapstick and offers it. Kel blinks, then grins.
“Oh, thanks.” Kel takes the proffered stick of ointment and pops off the cap. “So, wanna go to Hobbeez?”
That’s it then, huh? One and done. It’s a good thing first kisses are such a universal indicator, because otherwise Sunny wouldn’t have known at all that they’re dating now from the way Kel is smiling. He’s using the chapstick though, so that’s nice.
Sunny nods again. He does want to go to Hobbeez. Maybe this is even their first date—or, well, probably more just a regular trip to Hobbeez. But maybe it can be both. The idea sort of makes Sunny’s chest flutter. He almost wishes Kel would’ve asked him sooner.
Kel doesn’t talk much about their new relationship, but Sunny is a person of few words himself, so he understands it to mean Kel doesn’t really want anyone else to know about it. That’s okay. Privately, Sunny’s a little worried about what his parents would think about him dating a boy—even if he thinks they love him enough to move past it—and even if not for that… it’s sort of thrilling to have a secret he’s keeping from everyone. He hasn’t even told Mari and Basil, and he tells the two of them everything. Or if he doesn’t, they’re usually good enough at reading him to know anyway.
Not this time, though. Or rather, they notice, but while Sunny is usually pretty much an open book, this he keeps tucked right up against his chest where nobody can reach it, even when they start to notice.
For example, Mari looks up from her homework one day as Sunny enters their room, still smiling a bit to himself remembering a stupid joke Kel told on their date just now. They make eye contact as Sunny puts his bag down by his bed, and Sunny waves, and Mari raises an eyebrow. Smiles too, which makes Sunny realise that his own grin hasn’t quite faded yet. He touches his cheek. The smile doesn’t shrink. Mari sits up straight at her desk.
“Who’s got you smiling like that, little brother?” Her voice is light and teasing. Sunny just shakes his head and turns to his bed, leaning over to smooth out his sheets. They don’t really need smoothed out—he made his bed this morning like he always does, his parents are pretty strict about it—but it’s more for something to do with his hands than anything else. “Ooh, a mystery person? Can I guess?”
Sunny pouts. He actually doesn’t mind, but Mari’s tone is a bit embarrassing. He turns around to shoot her a thumbs down, and Mari laughs.
“Okay, I guess I won’t guess. You look happy though. Or you did.” Mari’s eyes twinkle as she nods towards Sunny’s expression. Probably disgruntled. Sunny feels a little disgruntled. But Mari looks happy, and she’s been so stressed out lately, Sunny decides he doesn’t mind being a little embarrassed.
He still just shrugs at her, though. Anything more would totally give him away, Mari knows him that well.
Another example is Basil, who draws observations more from watching people interact than from picking up on Sunny’s body language (though he does fine enough at that too). The only thing is that Sunny knows Basil just as well as Basil knows Sunny, so after a few weeks of treading lightly, he more or less figures out how to navigate interactions where he, Kel, and Basil are all together without letting on about their relationship.
More or less. There are still tiny slips. Kel has always been such an affectionate person after all, and before that Sunny didn’t think much of being more reserved (again, his family isn’t very physical, especially not by comparison to the Montoyas) but now that they’re dating, it feels wrong to make Kel carry all the weight. Or something. Sunny doesn’t completely know how it works, but he does know that Mari is always talking about things being reciprocal (which means equal) between her and Hero, and Sunny wants to be reciprocal too.
So sometimes he takes Kel’s hand while they’re walking places, or stands close enough to Kel that their arms brush so Kel will put his arm around Sunny’s shoulders. And other times Sunny will reach out and ruffle his hair. Or try. He’s not quite mastered the hair-ruffling motion yet, not like Kel (and especially Hero) has, but the big goofy smile Kel always gives him as he reaches up to fix his hair is always worth it. So Sunny is practising, but that means he has to ruffle Kel’s hair more… which means eventually Basil sees it, and he sees the way that Sunny steps back with his cheeks slightly pink afterwards, too.
Embarrassingly, Sunny is so caught up in Kel’s broad grin that he doesn’t even notices Basil’s subtler, equally charmed smile until Kel’s run off to basketball practise. When he turns, though, and meets Basil’s eyes, suddenly it’s all he can see, and suddenly Sunny knows exactly what Basil is about to say.
“You and Kel have been pretty affectionate lately,” Basil comments, nudging Sunny’s arm with his elbow. His smile isn’t even all that broad by normal standards, but because it’s Basil, Sunny’s all too aware of the knowing glimmer in his blue eyes, the way his teeth poke out and his face scrunches. Ugh. “Am I wrong in saying you might be getting a bit of a—”
Cutting people off is hard with ASL, so Sunny compensates by taking both of Basil’s cheeks in his hands and stretching them out. When Basil cuts off with a laugh, Sunny releases him and signs, You are wrong. Kel has always been like this.
“That’s true,” Basil admits, massaging one of his cheeks. “It seems like you’re reciprocating a lot more, though…”
His expression is so smug. What’s worse is that he’s right. Sunny juts out his lower lip, wondering if it was maybe a fool’s venture trying to hide anything from Basil in the first place. Even if that’s true though, the idea of making Kel uncomfortable or revealing something before Kel wanted to… it’s just completely out of the question. Sunny can’t say it, no matter how much Basil might be capable of piecing things together all on his own.
Don’t know, Sunny signs in response. Just felt like ruffling his hair. He almost adds that Basil should try it—that would seem unsuspicious, right?—but the idea of encouraging someone else to ruffle his boyfriend’s hair just to keep the secret is a little annoying. Besides, it would probably seem less special to Kel if Basil started doing it, so it’s a no-go.
Fortunately, Mari and Basil both seem to accept Sunny’s answers… or if not accept them, then they at least decide not to ask anything else about it, which Sunny appreciates. It’s a lot easier to lie when you aren’t actually lying. Aubrey and Hero, for their parts, seem perfectly oblivious. Sometimes Hero makes a comment or something about how well Sunny and Kel work together, or how nice it is that they get along so well, and Sunny almost thinks Hero is onto him… but then he defuses with a remark about how good their friendship is, and Sunny relaxes. Hero is far from stupid, but Kel must be better at hiding the relationship than Sunny is. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.
Of course, when it comes down to it, dating Kel isn’t actually all that different from being friends with Kel. There are subtle differences, of course, in the way that Kel receives Sunny’s touches—instinctively pulling him in with one arm in the middle of a conversation, starting to lean into his hair ruffles instead of batting at Sunny’s hands like he does with Hero—and in the way that Kel will look to Sunny whenever he’s made an impressive shot at a basketball game, but aside from that… it’s pretty much just like being friends with him.
Sunny doesn’t mind. In his head, he was never sure exactly what dating someone would look like, after all. The only real frame of reference Sunny has (outside of his parents, who are conservative with touches in front of their children) is Mari and Hero, and though they haven’t always been together, they’re the sort of couple who just feels like they’ve been in love for as long as you can remember. Sunny would like to think that’s true, anyway. Hero and Mari’s relationship is one of the few constants of Sunny’s universe, so he can’t exactly think of a time before they got together, or before they started acting like a couple.
But Sunny really liked being friends with Kel before they were dating. That’s part of why Sunny agreed to kiss him in the first place. So the fact that their romance isn’t actually all that different from their friendship… that’s okay. The fact that they don’t kiss as much, that Kel only ever refers to them as best friends, both of those things are fine too. Mari—and his dad, through some considerably more awkward conversations—has always emphasised that friendship is the foundation of any strong romantic relationship, and that physical aspects like kissing aren’t everything, so Sunny is content. They have a normal relationship. A good one.
Kel is also a bit forgetful. About a lot of things, but more specifically their anniversaries. Sunny actually has to go back through his calendar some months after they’ve started dating just to remember the exact date that they first kissed, but once he has he tattoos the date on the inside of his brain and plans a day out for the next seven months of their relationship. It would be nice if he had help. Sunny is good at solving puzzles and following instructions, or quietly following along with someone much headstrong than he is, but taking initiative himself has never been his strong suit.
Still, he really likes Kel, and more than anything Sunny wants to be a really good boyfriend. He’ll never be as good as Hero, but he’d settle for being like Space Boyfriend in one of Aubrey’s weird and completely nonsensical fanfictions. Devoted and caring and thoughtful. With this in mind, rather than ask someone for advice explicitly—since that would reveal they’re dating—Sunny pokes Aubrey to tell him what she thinks Space Boyfriend would do for Sweetheart for their first year anniversary.
It makes Aubrey perk right up. “Ooh, Sunny, I didn’t know you were interested!” She kicks her feet, legs a little too short to reach the woodchips from where she’s sitting on the swings. “I always thought you thought that ship was weird.”
He does, but that doesn’t mean Sunny isn’t interested in Aubrey’s fanfictions. I like that you like it.
“Thanks.” Aubrey giggles. “Well… I’ve never written something like that before. Hmm…” Her swinging legs cause her swing to sway a little, so Sunny pushes off the woodchips with his heels to match her. “Flowers and a full symphony, obviously, but… I think it’d be cute if he took her to where they first got together, too! And serenaded her there.”
Uh oh. Sunny can’t do a symphony or a serenade. This anniversary plan is turning out to be a bust.
…Actually, flowers might be doable, especially considering who his best friend is. Sunny leans against one of the swing chains as he listens to the rest of Aubrey’s ramblings, wanting to pay attention even while his mind whirs. He asked this with ulterior motives, but he feels a little bad Aubrey thought he wasn’t interested before this. Maybe she was just insecure because it’s so self-indulgent, but Sunny needs to get better at externalising his interest in people anyway. He’ll write a full review of one of her fanfictions later… but only after he’s figured out what to do for Kel. The date of their anniversary is rapidly approaching, after all.
Getting ideas from Basil on what flowers to get for Kel is really hard without actually telling him that they’re together. The whole time Sunny tries to broach the topic, Basil is throwing him obliterating side eyes, like he desperately wants to ask but won’t out of respect. Usually Sunny would push him to just say it, but not with this. This tentative peace they’ve found where Basil doesn’t ask and Sunny doesn’t say is too relieving to break, even for the sake of clearing the air with his friend.
Eventually, Sunny settles on a simple arrangement of light purple lilacs and yellow roses. He thinks it’s the right choice for a number of reasons: because yellow roses are a friend flower, which means anyone else seeing the bouquet will assume Sunny means it platonically… and because Kel still is his best friend, even if they are dating now. Besides, the light purple lilacs (for one’s first love, Basil says) should tell the other half of what Sunny feels just fine.
At the flower shop, Sunny painstakingly selects the prettiest flowers of the bunch to put in the arrangement, and has the worker tie it off with an orange ribbon. Kel will like it, because Kel is easily pleased and he likes flowers… but Sunny hopes Kel loves it. Maybe they’re not at the I love you stage of dating yet, but it’s still pretty close to how Sunny feels. He wants it to be how Kel feels, too, when he gets the bouquet.
Everything else about their first anniversary, Sunny plans to a T. He takes Kel to Hobbeez and lets him pick out a gift, then takes him to the hangout spot for a picnic. Sunny hates cooking, but he puts together a picnic basket (with a bit of insight from Mari) anyway, cutting the sandwiches into heart shapes and packing in his second batch of cookies. (The first patch turned out… a little too poorly to present to Kel.) Then Sunny gives over the flowers and holds his breath while Kel turns the bouquet around in his hands.
Kel grins. “Sunny, these are awesome! I bet I can find a jar for ‘em in my bedroom…” He leans in and smells the bouquet, letting out a pleased sigh. “Flowers are so cool… I’m gonna keep these forever!”
That’s really nice and it makes Sunny smile, but from experience, Kel probably has one or two weeks before they start to wilt more realistically, and that’s if he keeps them in water. Hero will probably help with upkeep at least, so that’s a relief.
Despite the flowers and the picnic and the trip to Hobbeez, Kel doesn’t make any mention of their anniversary. Hence his forgetfulness, but Sunny is starting to think Kel just might really be a person of few words when it comes to dating stuff. He’s usually so blunt with his feelings, but Sunny doesn’t mind this either. Leaving it unstated is almost a little bit exciting, actually… makes all of this more special.
The rest of the afternoon Sunny spends lying next to Kel, holding his hand and listening as Kel points out various clouds in the sky, commenting on their shapes and sizes in a bright, lilting voice until Sunny’s eyelids start to droop. When he wakes up again later, he’s back home in his very comfortable bed. Mari tells him Kel carried him back.
Sunny has such a good boyfriend. He smiles and hugs his pillow to his chest until he finally manages to fall asleep again.
They date through the rest of middle school, settling into a sort of rhythm. Sunny does things for the anniversaries, which he likes. Kel looks after him in other ways, carrying him on his back when he gets tired and yelling at people for looking at Sunny wrong. He did those things before too, but they feel different being in a relationship. More special. Aubrey would probably have something really corny to say about it if Sunny told her, but telling her would obviously violate Kel’s boundaries, so he doesn’t.
He wants to sometimes. It’d be nice to ask Mari for advice on things, or to gush to Basil about how pretty Kel’s smile is, but Sunny values respecting Kel’s privacy more than anything else. Sometimes he hears girls at school talking about how they could never date a guy who keeps them a secret, but privately, Sunny thinks all those girls are just a little bit immature. He knows how Kel feels about him and how Kel feels about everyone else. Obviously what they have is special. Sunny doesn’t mind waiting until Kel is completely and totally ready.
Something does change in Kel when they enter high school, though. It’s subtle at first, but Sunny is perceptive to changes in his boyfriend as any good partner would be, so he notices right away. The way that Kel’s cheeks start to flush when they make eye contact for so long, or the way he sometimes jumps and grins unnaturally wide when Sunny kisses him on the cheek. Then there are the even more subtle things, how Kel will occasionally trail off and stare at Sunny with his mouth agape, or the way he’ll bite his lip during group conversations and give Sunny these looks, like he really wants to say something and doesn’t know how.
It’s a whole lot of subtlety from someone Sunny isn’t used to being subtle, but he figures Kel will tell him when he’s ready. Sometimes when Kel is thinking or feeling something, he’ll sit on it for forever until someone (usually Hero or Aubrey) pries it out of him. But Sunny isn’t good at prying, and he figures that as Kel’s boyfriend, he’s bound to hear about it eventually. So it’s okay. Sunny will wait for Kel to tell him on his own, and in the meantime he’ll just do his best to look extremely receptive at all times.
That’s not to say Sunny isn’t a little bit worried about it, though. It’s impossible not to worry with Kel suddenly acting differently, which results in Sunny acting a bit differently, chewing his nail over a homework assignment while Hero works on some food in the kitchen. It smells good (though not enough to distract Sunny from his worries). Hero has been practising extra hard lately with his cooking, wanting to deliver the news of his intention to go into culinary school to his parents alongside a full, hearty meal. Privately, Sunny thinks Hero is already a good enough cook that he doesn’t necessarily have to practise so hard, but having Hero in his kitchen so much means that Sunny gets to eat a lot of his food, so it’s a win-win.
It also means that despite his sister and their parents being out touring the local university today, Sunny isn’t alone to dwell on his worries about Kel in peace, which isn’t a problem until Hero pokes his head out of the kitchen and notices Sunny chewing his nail. Sunny looks up, lowering his hand, and Hero offers a sympathetic smile.
“Math problems getting you down?”
Sunny shakes his head. The math is fine. He’s good at it. Hero raises an eyebrow, then quickly disappears back into the kitchen, only to return moments later with his apron off. There’s still a bit of flour in his hair, but Sunny doesn’t comment on it as Hero comes and pads over, dropping down to sit next to Sunny at the dining room table.
“What’s eating at you, Sun?”
Sunny smoothes his thumb over his jagged nail with a frown. That’s a complicated question. Or, well, no it isn’t, but he also can’t completely answer without revealing his relationship.
Hmm. Has Kel… Sunny pauses midway through signing Kel’s name, uncertain, then starts over. Has Kel had something on his mind lately?
Hero’s eyebrows raise. “Has he?” He rubs his chin, leaning back in his seat. “Hmm… now that you mention it, it does seem like he’s been thinking pretty hard about something lately…” His eyes dart over to Sunny. “But it’s nothing bad if that’s what you’re wondering.”
That’s a partial relief, but not a complete one. Still, Sunny respects Kel’s privacy too much to ask Hero directly what is going on, so he’s in a bit of a pickle now. He chews the inside of his cheek.
“It’s really worrying you, huh?” Hero asks, eyebrows raised. Sunny glances back over, embarrassed at having been read again so easily, but nods. Yeah, it is, and it’s not going to stop until he knows exactly what’s going on with his boyfriend. He wishes he didn’t feel that way, but… he does. He just needs to know. He can’t help if he doesn’t know, and he wants to help, even if it’s not completely bad.
At least Hero seems sympathetic.
“Well… look. It probably doesn’t make sense right now, but…” Hero rests his hand on Sunny’s shoulder and squeezes. “Kel’s going to tell you soon. And once he does, the pieces will all click into place.” He smiles. “So try not to stress out too hard, okay?”
If Hero seems so confident, it’s got to be fine, right? Sunny picks up his pencil and turns it over in his hand, then nods. He’ll accept that answer. It probably won’t stop him from worrying, but at least he knows that Hero doesn’t think it’s a big deal. That should chase away any doubts Sunny has about having done something wrong, or… well, he doesn’t know. There are a lot of things it could be. But if it’s not that bad, then it rules out at least 75% of the possibilities Sunny was mulling over.
Sunny’s sense of reassurance and confidence in Hero’s words lasts for a few days, right up until sixth period on Monday of the next week, when Kel intercepts him on his way to his desk, a borderline urgent look in his eyes as he tells Sunny, and this is a direct quote: “Hey, can we talk? It’s kind of important.”
It’s not a classic we need to talk line, but it gets Sunny’s heart racing nonetheless. How many important things could Kel want to talk about? Was there a death in the family? Hero definitely would not have reassured him so much if there was, though. Maybe Sunny did something wrong and he wants to establish boundaries? That’s okay, but Kel is pretty direct, he probably would have said something in the moment, right? What else could it be though, other than…
Well. Other than a breakup. It’s a good thing that Kel tells him at the end of the day, because for the rest of sixth period, Sunny’s completely spaced out, running through different topics Kel could want to discuss with him after school, all eventually cycling back to a breakup behind the building. It’s pretty awful. Hero would not have been so relaxed if that was truly what Kel was winding up to, but also, if Hero doesn’t even know they’re dating then—then Kel might not have told him. He just might have told Hero that it’s nothing bad, deflecting in the way Kel often does. Ugh.
Class simultaneously can’t pass slow or fast enough. By the time it’s actually over, Sunny’s filled with so many jitters his knees feel weak. He somehow still manages to follow Kel out into the courtyard, waiting for the bulk of their classmates to have left before Kel turns to face him.
Kel looks… nervous, uncharacteristically so. Shifting his weight and tucking his hair behind his ear, smiling sheepishly. Is that a sheepish breakup smile, or something else? Sunny squints, trying to scrutinise it, until Kel lifts his gaze, and then Sunny looks down and tries to calm his breathing.
Eventually Kel says, “So uh… I should’ve told you this earlier. Before we started high school, even. Honestly, I’m kinda embarrassed that I didn’t. I’ve just been thinking about it for a long time, and I decided… well, I really needed to tell you. You deserved to know.”
Oh. Oh, this is definitely a break up. Sunny balls his hands into fists and grinds his back teeth, fighting off the threat of tears as he struggles to listen through the static starting in his ears, waiting for Kel to finish with the inevitable.
Kel takes an audible breath. Here it comes.
“I have a crush on you.”
…What.
Sunny looks up, frowning, trying to figure out if this is some kind of joke. It doesn’t look like it. Kel’s bright red and avoiding Sunny’s gaze, a hand clasping the back of his neck, sweat beading on his temple. He looks really, really nervous, and flustered. He’s never gotten this flustered over the entire course of their…
Of their…
Hm. Sunny furrows his brow and swallows the urge to say Well I know that, we’re coming on our third year anniversary soon. Instead he just says, aloud, “What?”
The sound of Sunny’s actual voice seems to spook Kel into continuing. “It’s just—you don’t have to feel the same! And if you don’t nothing has to change! But you’re so… patient, and a good listener, and you’re such a… steady person, it makes me feel really…” Kel’s face is a shade of red Sunny previously did not think possible from him. “And you’re really cute too—geez…” His voice cracks and he winces. “Sorry, this is super lame… I should’ve done flowers or something.”
Flowers. Kel has to be joking. Except that he isn’t, and Sunny can tell, because they’re… or he thought they were…
In retrospect, Sunny had never really received verbal confirmation from Kel that they were actually dating. He’d just taken it as a fact when Kel kissed him and continued onwards from there. The lack of kisses and sappy words from Kel’s end had never really bothered him because of course they didn’t. Kel calling him his best friend only made sense. But if Sunny isn’t specifically trying to rationalise it…
Oh, no. Sunny feels his own face heat, perhaps a hue to rival Kel’s, and groans, his voice cracking under the strain of the sound. He wants to cover it, but there’s no way he can talk with his mouth right now, and he needs his hands to communicate. To compensate he buries his face in one hand and signs one-handed.
I thought we were already dating.
“Huh?” Kel sounds bewildered. It’s probably the only reaction that actually makes sense. “Wait, what do you mean?”
I mean, I, Sunny’s fingers tremble as he hesitates, Mari said she knew she and Hero were dating after their first kiss, and you kissed me, and I thought… He knows what he thought, but it sounds so stupid to put it into words. Nevermind. Sorry. I like you too. Sorry.
“Wait… wait.” Kel’s brow is creased when Sunny peeks at his face through his fingers. “Hold on. So when you got me flowers—and kissed me on the cheek—”
Sunny almost wants to tell Kel to stop talking, his flush is spreading so far down his neck. He just nods mutely, unable to reply in any other way.
Kel’s mouth falls open, then closes as he swallows. “You mean I could’ve been dating you this whole time?!” He sounds devastated, breathless, but Sunny can’t help a bit of a choked laugh at the exclamation. As far as responses go, that one is… not the worst. “Sunny, this is terrible! I haven’t kissed you in three years!”
I was okay with it, Sunny signs. I mean, kissing isn’t everything.
“But I’ve been dreaming about—” Kel stops short, his eyes going wide as he claps his hands over his mouth. His ears turn pink. “I-I mean—nevermind!”
Actually, Sunny really wants to hear the end of that sentence. He lifts his head and stares at Kel, brows slightly raised, and waits until his friend lets out a long, whining groan, not dissimilar to the squeal of a train engine.
“Sunny,” Kel complains. “This whole time I thought I completely lost to Hero because he started dating Mari before this… I could’ve won!”
Okay, I don’t want you to date me to beat your brother, Sunny signs back, but he can’t help giggling, especially as Kel grins.
“That’s not why,” Kel insists. “But… well, I mean…” He rubs the side of his neck. “I noticed it when you started getting more affectionate. I just thought you were more comfortable with me… but I realised I actually really liked it when you touched me and stuff.” His neck turns red, not unlike Sunny’s. “Then I started thinking about… you know, our kiss… and even though I always kind of thought it was gross…”
Sunny nods sagely. Mari predicted this would happen.
“I hate when Mari is right,” Kel sighs. His grin only wavers slightly though, returning to full strength after a brief pause. “I mean, I might not like it still… whenever I’ve thought about it I haven’t actually been like, thinking everything through, so it’s not like I… y’know…” He looks away. “But I mean, if you wanted to, I could…”
Last time, Sunny closed his eyes and puckered his lips and waited. It’d just seemed natural when Kel always took the lead so well. But waiting for Kel to take the lead (or at the very least, not saying he wanted Kel to do it) led them to this place in the first place. As much as Sunny is relieved Kel does like him… geez. What a waste of both of their time.
So instead of waiting, Sunny steps forward and reaches out, taking Kel’s cheeks in both of his hands. They’re very warm. He can’t imagine his own are much better. Sunny guides Kel’s face so they make eye contact, and because he’s standing so close, he can feel the way Kel’s breath hitches.
Sunny pushes onto his toes, meeting Kel’s eyes steadily, waiting for permission. He knows it’s been granted when Kel’s eyelids flutter shut, his lips parting, and Sunny doesn’t let himself hesitate another moment, leaning in and closing the distance between them.
It’s still warm. Kel’s lips are still chapped. Sunny wonders if he still has that chapstick.
This time it’s not as quick or simple or one and done as their first kiss. This time it’s like fireworks go off, and yet somehow simultaneously very mundane, like doing something that he’s done a million times, even though he’s only done it once before this, and not for real.
When Sunny pulls back, he’s breathless. Kel looks slightly dazed. Sunny can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, so he gives an expectant look, and watches a goofy grin spread across Kel’s features.
“Yeah, that was nice,” Kel says, voice airy. “I’d do that again for sure.”
Sunny would too. Maybe even right now, though a part of him thinks they should probably talk more about this before that.
…Or, kiss more first, and then talk. Yeah, Sunny likes that option more. He closes his eyes this time and leans in, and hums when he feels Kel’s hands rest on his waist. They’re light and almost uncertain in a way that Kel has never been. Sunny can palpably feel the butterflies in Kel’s chest just from that touch alone.
So he pulls Kel closer and tilts his head. It’s okay. Sunny will be sure of himself now, since Kel can’t yet… and then later, Kel will do the same.
Ironically, somewhere in the back of his mind, it occurs to Sunny that Mari was right… in a way, at least. This isn’t their first kiss, but it’s their first real one… and if there was ever any doubt as to either of their feelings, there definitely isn’t anymore. That’s for sure.