Work Text:
idiot 23: yo yawnzn
yeonjun: what do you want
idiot 23: we got a dare for u
yeonjun: what is this, freshman hazing?
yeonjun: why are you giving me a dare?
idiot 23: are u gonna pussy out b4 hearing it or what
yeonjun: you know i don’t back down. now just tell me
idiot 23: got a deal 4 u
idiot 23: if u can score a date w tht nerd choi in a month
idiot 23: we’ll let u b the host of the big party 4 winter brk
yeonjun: there’s a million nerds and chois. need you to narrow that down a little
idiot 23: choi soobin
idiot 23: yk the one w the big round glasses
idiot 23: always looks ready 2 pass out if anyone even looks at him
yeonjun: oh, him
yeonjun: hm
yeonjun: fine, i’ll take you on for that
yeonjun: but when i win, i expect for all of you to not be little bitches about my music selection at the party <3
idiot 23: mayb this was a shitty idea
yeonjun: too late.
yeonjun: see you at the winter break party! 😜
Yeonjun looks around the library, eyes squinting as he attempts to find his target within the vicinity. He knows, with deep certainty, that a certain nerd by the name of Choi Soobin spends most of his time here. He’s kind of sure that Choi Soobin might even work for the library, but he’s only heard small rumours about that. The dare from Yeonjun’s frat mates had come the day before, and now he’s here, doing his damnedest to get to Soobin before he has to wait too long and the end of the month rolls around. Yeonjun’s not sure if the two of them even share any classes together this semester or not—he does remember, however, back in his second year, when Soobin was still an awkward and lanky freshman.
The two of them had taken Algebra together, but never worked very closely together. That had also been the year Yeonjun had joined his fraternity, and so their time of knowing each other had been extremely brief. Yeonjun has seen Soobin around campus more often than not, because despite the fact that his frat mates view him as a “nerd,” Soobin actually is quite sociable. Especially for someone so introverted.
They even have a few friends in common: one Kang Taehyun and one Choi Beomgyu.
And sure, it might have even been easier for Yeonjun to just ask Taehyun and Beomgyu about Soobin… but he’d rather not risk telling more people about the dare he’s been given.
Yeonjun’s not even gay. Or bi, or pan. He’s as straight as can be—he’s dated around with several girls at uni, and slept with even more (thanks to the frat parties). He’s already had his questioning and experimenting phase, been done and over with that for a few years now. So why, you must be asking, is Yeonjun going through with such a stupid dare? Because, unfortunately, his pride stands about fifty feet taller than he actually is, and he doesn’t like to back down from a challenge—nor does he actually enjoy losing at anything. Chalk it up to the naturally competitive nature he’s always had, ever since he was a kid.
Clicking his tongue quietly, Yeonjun squints further and lets out a huff through his nose. He’s about thirty seconds away from giving up, before he finally spots his target—Choi Soobin.
He sticks out almost like a sore thumb, tall and lanky with bright blue hair. Yeonjun can’t help the way he grins when he spots him, immediately straightening up. Fixing his hair for a moment, Yeonjun tries to make himself appear as casual and innocuous as possible, starting to walk himself in Soobin’s direction, pretending that he’s looking anywhere else but directly in front of him.
“Oh!” Soobin’s voice forces Yeonjun to turn his head, as their shoulders roughly bump into each other. Soobin’s eyes are wide and round, much more expressive when Yeonjun is so up close like this. “I’m so sorry, I—”
“It’s cool,” Yeonjun gives Soobin his best charming smile, head tilting slightly to the side. “I think we were both at fault for this.”
Soobin’s cheeks flush, a pretty pink colour. His lashes are rather long, Yeonjun notes. His lips are somewhat parted, pink and plump, and his tongue darts out to wet them for a moment before he closes his mouth and nods. Choi Soobin is pretty enough to be a girl, Yeonjun thinks, when he’s staring at him up close like this.
“Still,” Soobin mumbles, voice lower and a bit softer now. “I’m sorry for running into you, Yeonjun-ssi.”
That surprises Yeonjun a bit. He blinks owlishly at Soobin. “You know my name?”
Soobin looks at him, a bit confused. “Yes?” He says, almost like a question. “Ah… we had a class together, once. And—um, we have a few friends in common… they talk about you a lot, you know.” Yeonjun huffs slightly through his nose, knowing exactly who Soobin is talking about. “Plus,” He watches as Soobin swallows a little, licking his lips once more. (Yeonjun has got to stop looking at his lips so much.) “You’re pretty popular around the whole uni… a lot of my other friends and classmates talk about you, too.”
“Ah,” Yeonjun clicks his tongue lightly, suddenly amused. “My reputation seems to precede me then, huh?”
That earns a flicker of a smile from Soobin, the younger man’s lips curling upwards into something gentle. “I guess so.” They’re both quiet for several moments, as Yeonjun stares up at Soobin. He had had a plan to begin with, but now, it’s like he can’t actually think about what he’s supposed to be doing.
Soobin glances towards one of the walls, presumably at a clock, before he’s bowing his upper body a bit to Yeonjun. “I’m sorry again, sunbae—” Yeonjun suddenly has the urge to tell him to call him hyung instead. “—but I have to get to class now.”
“Ah, yeah, no worries.” Soobin starts to move around Yeonjun then, but Yeonjun carefully grabs onto Soobin’s arm, stopping him when he’s at his side. Soobin has this bewildered look on his face, that merely grows when Yeonjun grins at him, leaning in and murmuring, “See you around then, cutie Choi Soobin. Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”
Soobin’s entire face flushes. He ducks his head into his chest, nods a bit quickly, and then immediately darts away from Yeonjun and out the library doors.
Yeonjun stands there, grinning to himself, feeling intensely smug and happy about how the beginning of his bet is going.
THE IDIOT HOUSE
idiot 7: Yo Yeonjun
idiot 7: Someone said they saw you w Choi in the library
yeonjun: i know several chois
yeonjun: you idiots need to start using fucking names
idiot 7: Choi Soobin
yeonjun: yeah
yeonjun: you guys literally dared me to get a date with him?
idiot 18: did u get it already
idiot 18: dam u work fast
yeonjun: no, you moron, i didn’t get it yet
yeonjun: we talked for like, 3 minutes max
idiot 23: losing ur rizz, bro
yeonjun: i don’t wanna hear shit about rizz from you jaehyun
yeonjun: mister hasn’t been laid in the past 4 months
idiot 4: Lmao, he told you.
idiot 23: yeoch
idiot 23: touchy subject huh
yeonjun: will you stop tracking my every movement already
yeonjun: how am i supposed to ask this dude out if you’re stalking me like weirdos and creeps
idiot 7: I wasn’t stalking you 🙄
idiot 7: And it wasn’t even a frat mate
idiot 7: Keeho told me
yeonjun: and how’s that going for you, ji?
idiot 7: I don’t wanna talk about it
idiot 4: Am I the only one not experiencing extreme life turmoil right now?
idiot 18: wait ur turn
idiot 18: ur only a freshman after all
idiot 4: I don’t think I want a turn, thanks.
yeonjun: i’m turning you all off
yeonjun: i have a date to go win, thank you very much.
yeonjun: hey hakkie
yeonjun: question for you
tangerine: ?
tangerine: What’s up?
yeonjun: how did you ask jacob-hyung out
tangerine: Um
tangerine: Well, he asked me, actually
yeonjun: oh cool
yeonjun: well how did he do it?
tangerine: Well
tangerine: He kissed me at one of the parties last year, told me liked me, I proceeded to pass out because I was pretty drunk
tangerine: And the next morning he was still with me in bed, we didn’t do anything, just slept
tangerine: So he took me for breakfast and called it a date
tangerine: Then proceeded to ask me to be his boyfriend
tangerine: So
yeonjun: that’s way more complicated ugh
yeonjun: i don’t want to have to lure him into one of the idiot’s parties
tangerine: Him?
tangerine: You’re asking out a guy?
yeonjun: not seriously
yeonjun: they dared me to ask soobin out on a date by the end of the month
yeonjun: so i’m trying to figure out a way to do that
tangerine: Oh, Junnie
tangerine: Why would you even accept that dare?
yeonjun: because why not?
yeonjun: when we actually go on the date i’ll tell him it’s just as friends, anyways
tangerine: Yeonjun
tangerine: I love you
tangerine: But this is a really bad idea
yeonjun: it’ll be fine, hakkie! you’re worrying too much
tangerine: :/
tangerine: Alright
tangerine: But when this comes back and bites you in the ass, don’t say I didn’t warn you
yeonjun: 💙 love u
tangerine: Don’t come whining to me if Serim-ah comes after you when he hears about this
A week later, Yeonjun finds himself in the library again—this time, sitting directly across from Soobin as the younger man studies. Or at least, attempts to study, because he keeps glancing up towards Yeonjun about every fifteen seconds, and he’s slow at turning his pages and writing things down for his notes.
Yeonjun doesn’t particularly blame him. He, himself, can’t stop himself from staring at Soobin this entire time—he’s pretty, like this, doing the most mundane of things. Yeonjun would date him if he were a girl, he thinks. It’s unfortunate that he’s not, because Soobin is just so pretty.
“You’re pretty,” Yeonjun says, straight and to the point.
Soobin chokes on air, blinking rapidly as he looks up at Yeonjun. He furrows his eyebrows, lips somewhat pursed. “I’m… sorry?”
“I said,” Yeonjun leans in then, covering the side of his mouth and he leans in closer and closer to Soobin. “You’re pretty.”
Soobin opens his mouth, before he snaps it just a second later. He shakes his head some, turning it down to face his book. He buries his focus in that book then, resolutely refusing to look up at Yeonjun. Yeonjun can’t help but grin to himself, feeling particularly smug. His victory in the moment, however, is short lived, when none other than Choi Beomgyu decides to join them in their study session. Yeonjun frowns a bit as he looks at Beomgyu, eyebrows shooting up questioningly.
“Hey, Yeonjun-hyung,” Beomgyu smiles as he sets his backpack down, flopping into the seat next to Soobin. “And Soobin-hyung! I didn’t realize you guys actually hung out.”
“We don’t,” Soobin’s voice is rather meek as he speaks up, glancing between Yeonjun and Beomgyu then. “Not really, at least…”
“You don’t have to be shy, Soobinnie,” Yeonjun grins as he leans his chin against the palm of his hand, humming slightly. “We’re friends now, aren’t we?”
“Are we?” Soobin mumbles to himself, though Yeonjun’s ears catch onto it. He’s not sure if Beomgyu hears it or not.
Yeonjun is practically forgotten as Soobin and Beomgyu begin to actually study. They’re taking the same class, apparently—introduction to physics or something like that—and most of the talk goes over Yeonjun’s head. He’s a dance major, not needing to have many of the more technical classes on his roster, but he does hear the occasional things that he’s heard and learned about in previous years. Yeonjun lets the two of them study, surprisingly—but he still refuses to stop looking at Soobin every now and then. Soobin, too, glances at Yeonjun from time to time, and it makes him feel just a bit better about the whole situation.
It’s about an hour and a half later when Yeonjun notices the way Soobin keeps shifting uncomfortably in his seat, reaching up around his ribs and seeming to adjust something. Yeonjun blinks slowly when he sees this, head tilting a bit. Beomgyu, it seems, takes notice of this, as well, and reaches out to rest a hand against Soobin’s back.
“Is your binder hurting you, hyung?”
Binder? Yeonjun thinks, eyebrows furrowing a bit.
“A little,” Soobin’s smile is sheepish now, as he chews slightly at the corner of his lips. “I’ve been wearing it a little longer than necessary…”
Beomgyu frowns, squinting his eyes a bit. “We should get you back to your dorm then, you’ve gotta take it off soon.”
“I know,” Soobin grimaces slightly, before he glances towards Yeonjun. Yeonjun suddenly feels put on the spot, his hand gripping onto his phone since he had just been texting his idiot frat mates about the entire ordeal. “I just…”
Beomgyu looks at Yeonjun and frowns. He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment and shaking his head. He turns back to Soobin and smiles lightly, soothing his hand up and down Soobin’s back. “Come on, let’s go back home. I don’t want you to hurt yourself, Soobin-hyung. And I’m sure Yeonjun-hyung won’t mind either,” Beomgyu is still smiling when he turns towards Yeonjun again, but it feels ice cold and sharp to him. “Right, hyung?”
“Right,” Yeonjun says, somewhat dumbfounded.
The two younger students gather their things and head to leave. But as Beomgyu heads down to the first floor first, Soobin hangs back. He hovers around Yeonjun for a moment, before he walks up to him and offers him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry to cut this short, Yeonjun-sunbae,” Soobin mumbles, hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack. “I guess I forgot I’ve been in my binder for longer than I’m really allowed.”
“You wear… a binder?” Yeonjun asks, saying the words rather carefully.
Soobin nods, raising a hand to rest it against his chest. “Yeah. I’m… well—most people already know this about me, but I’m trans, so. I have to wear a binder. For my chest.”
“Oh,” Yeonjun suddenly feels like a bucket of ice cold water has been dumped over his head. He feels like such an asshole, especially for the way that he’s been thinking about Soobin recently. “Oh, well—that’s alright. I don’t think of you any less than I did before, Soobinnie.” Despite his shock, Yeonjun speaks the truth, his voice utterly genuine with his words. “Please go and make sure to take care of yourself, alright?” Yeonjun gives a half-grin as he tacks on, “For me, yeah?”
He watches as Soobin’s face flushes, those pretty red and pink colours that he always gets when he blushes. Soobin just smiles, nods once, then turns around and hurries off to go and find Beomgyu. Yeonjun watches him go, before he turns around and stares down at his phone, furrowing his eyebrows as he glares at the screen.
Maybe Haknyeon is right about the entire situation.
ACTUAL ANGELS FROM ABOVE
yeonjun: hello, my fellow brothers.
serimmie: What did you do this time?
yeonjun: wtf
yeonjun: why is that your first reaction
serimmie: Because I know you, Yeonjun-ah.
serimmie: So what did you do?
minpup: probs has to do w/ the stupid bet going on
serimmie: What bet?
yeonjun: it’s a DARE, not a BET
minpup: same thing
minpup: idiots dared him to win a date w choi soobin
minpup: ive seen him trying to do his thing
serimmie: Choi Yeonjun.
yeonjun: okay, listen
yeonjun: i’ve already sort of talked about this with hakkie
yeonjun: and he’s already told me everything that YOU are going to tell me
yeonjun: so please spare me a second rant
tangerine: Hah
tangerine: Knew it
yeonjun: look, i made this because i need… help
yeonjun: and i can’t ask the idiots, because they’re all stupid
serimmie: They sure are. I don’t understand how we’re still friends with them.
minpup: bc our excellent skills of communication helps them get shit thru their dumbass skulls
tangerine: You’re one to talk, Mingyu
tangerine: You can’t even work up the nerve to try and work shit out with Seungcheol-hyung
minpup: hey now
minpup: this is abt yeonjun’s fucking up not mine
minpup: leave me outta this
serimmie: All of us have our flaws, Haknyeon-ah.
serimmie: More importantly, what exactly, pray tell, do you need help with, Yeonjun-ah?
yeonjun: well
yeonjun: uh
yeonjun: you know how i’m straight
minpup: presumably
serimmie: In statements only.
tangerine: You’re not straight
yeonjun: wow okay then
yeonjun: anyway
yeonjun: i don’t think i’m straight
yeonjun: and it’s really confusing
yeonjun: i mean
yeonjun: i guess i’ve always found guys attractive? like all of you guys are pretty and handsome to me
minpup: thx
yeonjun: but i’ve never felt ✨ attracted ✨ to any of you
yeonjun: nor any of the other guys i’ve found pretty and handsome and shit
yeonjun: and i don’t know why i feel this way about soobin
yeonjun: and does it make it worse, for me to feel this way, when i know he’s trans now?
serimmie: Well.
serimmie: First question: Did you start feeling this way /before/ Soobin came out to you as trans?
yeonjun: yes
yeonjun: i thought he was just so pretty
yeonjun: and i kept wishing he was a girl so i could actually, like
yeonjun: you know
yeonjun: kiss him and stuff
minpup: oh jun
yeonjun: i know.
yeonjun: it sounds so shitty of me, saying that now
yeonjun: i don’t want him to be a girl for me to kiss him
yeonjun: i’ve thought about it
yeonjun: and it’s like
yeonjun: even now that i know what his body type is
yeonjun: it doesn’t change a thing
yeonjun: am i really just that much of an asshole?
tangerine: Junnie, you’re not that much of an asshole
tangerine: You’ve been confused for a while, we’ve all seen it
tangerine: A lot of the idiots we hang out with are so sexually repressed that they don’t realize they’re constantly self-sabotaging
serimmie: Haknyeon-ah is right.
serimmie: Most of them are just as confused as you are, they just struggle with it in different ways. And worse ways.
serimmie: As long as you’ve rectified your way of thinking, it doesn’t matter if you’re really an asshole or not. You’re changing your views, and that’s good.
serimmie: If you like Soobin, then you like Soobin.
serimmie: You don’t have to label yourself either. There are plenty of people who date who they want and don’t use gay, bi, pan, or anything else.
serimmie: You’re allowed to like, and love, whoever you want to like and love.
minpup: i used to b in the same boat as them u know
minpup: strugglign w my sexuality and stuff
minpup: but i got better when wonwoo-hyung and i started dating
minpup: it didnt work between us but he helped me a lot
minpup: nd i think most of these guys also just need to get it thru their heads
minpup: from personal experience
yeonjun: thank you, guys.
yeonjun: i didn’t want to talk to any of them because
yeonjun: well
yeonjun: because of what you said
yeonjun: and i didn’t want to find out if any of them were violently transphobic or some shit
serimmie: If any of them turn out to be transphobic, we can have them kicked out of the frat.
tangerine: Seconded
minpup: thirded
yeonjun: not a word, but yeah, agreed
Another week passes, marking the halfway point through the month, and Yeonjun is not any closer to landing a date with Choi Soobin. Though at this point, he doesn’t even want to go on a date with him—he wants to befriend him, first and foremost, before he makes any kind of move on him in a romantic sense. He still has to tell the rest of his idiot frat mates that he’s dropping out of the dare, willing to take whatever stupid punishment they’ve lined up for him. He’s still questioning himself and his sexuality, unsure about if he truly likes Soobin, or if, perhaps, it had just been a misplaced attraction.
But then Soobin starts to avoid Yeonjun whenever he tries to come around.
Yeonjun will see him, either with Taehyun or Beomgyu or Hueningkai, and every time, whatever duo of them will swerve away from Yeonjun’s direction and head the other way. It makes Yeonjun feel like shit, unaware of just what exactly is going on. He tries to approach them, he really does. He’s gotten close to it a few times, managing to walk into the library and find Soobin with one of his friends sitting there and studying.
But the moment Yeonjun is noticed, the other party will lift Soobin up by his arm, turn him away from Yeonjun, and immediately walk off, leaving Yeonjun behind—dumbfounded with his mouth hanging open.
It’s frustrating, and Yeonjun can feel it building up inside of him. He knows he’s an asshole, and he knows he’s been flirting with Soobin in a way that was definitely romantic, but he hadn’t meant it to be romantic. Not at first, at least. He just wants to talk to Soobin, to explain the situation and apologize—and that’s when it hits Yeonjun that someone must have talked about it where Soobin could have heard them.
Yeonjun cusses loudly to himself at this realization, startling several people around him in the cafeteria. He gets up, anger flooding his entire body, and throws away the rest of his meal—he’s no longer hungry.
THE IDIOT HOUSE
yeonjun: which one of you blabbed about the dare.
idiot 20: dude like the entire house knows about it
idiot 18: yea man its no big secret
yeonjun: what the fuck? you guys told everyone?
idiot 23: yea we started a betting pool ovr it lmao
idiot 18: u gotta land this hyung ive got like 5 thousand won on ur ass
yeonjun: what the fuck
yeonjun: why would you BET about a stupid dare
idiot 20: whoa, why are you so upset about it suddenly?
idiot 20: you’ve done the same with other things before
yeonjun: yeah, when it was stupid shit like who could get drunker the quickest
yeonjun: or giving a lap dance to a fellow frat brother
yeonjun: not something like this.
idiot 7: You’re really pissed about this?
idiot 7: Why are you so angry now?
yeonjun: soobin found out.
idiot 23: whoa
idiot 4: Oh wow.
idiot 18: ouchie
yeonjun: shut the fuck up for once
idiot 23: dude, calm down
idiot 18: sorry dude
idiot 18: idk how im supposed to respond to it??
yeonjun: the dare’s off anyways
yeonjun: forgot to tell you guys that
idiot 7: You’re giving up?
idiot 4: He probably got rejected.
idiot 23: rizz level 0
yeonjun: i am fucking serious right now.
yeonjun: so shut the hell up and listen.
yeonjun: i don’t know what i am but i’m not straight.
yeonjun: and i started to realize that i kind of like soobin.
yeonjun: i’m not going to be some asshole and fuck with his feelings for a stupid dare, because i don’t WANT to fuck up with him.
yeonjun: so it’s off. i’m not doing it.
yeonjun: give me whatever fucking punishment you want, but don’t ever drag soobin into your shitty dares again.
yeonjun: or i’ll personally make sure the rest of your frat days are a living hell.
yeonjun: i’ll come back when i’m not angry at you dicks later.
yeonjun: you know where to find me.
YEONJUN HAS LEFT THE CHAT
“Taehyun, please,” Yeonjun begs, holding tightly onto the sleeve of Taehyun’s jacket. He’s giving Yeonjun a very flat look, not feeling sorry for him in the slightest. “Please, just—just let me talk to him.”
“Why?” Taehyun’s voice is laced with venom, and Yeonjun doesn’t exactly blame him. “So you can just be an asshole again?”
“No,” Yeonjun shakes his head vigorously, before he lets out a sigh. “No, I want to apologize—I didn’t… I wasn’t…” He struggles to find his words, unsure if he really wants to come out to Taehyun in the middle of a dorm hallway right now. His eyebrows knit together, a large frown appearing on his face.
Taehyun is watching him, scrutinizing his every move. He doesn’t budge from his spot, but he also doesn’t yank his arm away from Yeonjun’s grasp. Slowly, Yeonjun lets go of it. He sighs, shoulders slumping. He’s not sure what to do to prove to Taehyun that this is something that he means, that this isn’t just for show.
“Look,” Yeonjun starts, his tongue feeling like lead inside his own mouth, “I do actually like Soobin. Maybe… maybe not quite romantically yet, but I do like him. I want to be his friend, before anything else. And I’m an idiot, so I was doing idiot things before, and I know that’s hurt him.” He looks up at Taehyun then, hoping that his eyes are conveying the actual determination he feels. “So I want to apologize. Because Soobin never deserved any of this—and I’m really an idiot for doing what I did in the first place.”
Taehyun’s lips purse as he stares Yeonjun down, narrowing his eyes. He glances back towards the door of Soobin’s dorm room, before he lets out a slow, deep sigh. Taehyun reaches up and pinches the bridge of his nose, obviously debating with himself about something. Yeonjun merely stares right back, jaws clenched, hands clenched into his T-shirt, hoping and hoping for Taehyun to come through.
“Fine,” Taehyun says the word quietly, turning to look at Yeonjun again. “But if he says you have to leave, you leave. No trying to pressure him into letting you stay. Do you hear me?”
“Of course,” Yeonjun nods rapidly, standing up a bit straighter. “I wouldn’t—I’m not going to make him do anything. I just want to apologize.”
Taehyun purses his lips again, a half-scowl on his face, but he moves aside and turns the knob of Soobin’s dorm, opening it slightly for Yeonjun. Yeonjun bows his head in thanks as he slips in past the door, Taehyun closing it behind him, and now—Yeonjun is standing in Soobin’s dorm. He blinks rapidly, hyper aware of every thought and movement, and he carefully steps further into the dorm.
Soobin is on the couch, watching the TV. He perks up when he hears footsteps, mouth open and already turned up into a smile as he sits up, turning towards the sound—only for his entire face to drop, making Yeonjun’s stomach churn and his heart twist up horribly inside his chest.
Soobin looks almost devastated—like seeing Yeonjun is the worst thing in the world for him. His eyes are shaky, watered over already, and Yeonjun—he doesn’t really know what to do first. He quickly walks over to the couch, in an attempt to keep Soobin from moving away from him and hiding—when he gets there, he lands on his knees right in front of Soobin, and immediately presses his forehead against Soobin’s knees.
Yeonjun shakes his head a bit, letting his hands come up and fold themselves under his head. “Soobin,” He tries, voice breaking already. He swallows, clears his throat, and tries again. “Soobin, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—I was really, really stupid. It’s no excuse, it will never be an excuse, and I don’t have any for myself. I never—it wasn’t my intention to hurt you, honestly. I had just thought—it would be a fun thing, you know? But I was stupid for thinking that. I should never have accepted that stupid fucking dare in the first place.”
Yeonjun bites hard at his lower lip, an attempt to keep it from quivering too badly. Slowly, he pulls away to look up at Soobin, his heart squeezing in his chest at the expression on Soobin’s face. It’s no longer that broken, saddened expression from before, but it’s not a particularly happy one, either. He’s watching Yeonjun with calculating eyes, despite the fact that he looks seconds away from bursting into tears—Yeonjun feels the exact same way. One of Soobin’s hands twitches at his side, and Yeonjun has to restrain himself from reaching out and grabbing it.
“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun repeats, pushing as much sincerity into them as he possibly can. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, not yet. Maybe even never. And… I would hate that, but I’d be alright with it. I’m still questioning myself, and maybe I just need more time to figure things out, but,” Yeonjun licks his lips, swallowing harshly. “But I’d like to at least be able to be your friend while I do it. I do like you. I don’t… quite know if it’s really more than as friends, but that’s not why I want to be your friend. I do hope you’ll believe me when I say that.”
Soobin continues to watch him. Yeonjun lets his gaze wander a bit, studying Soobin and his appearance. His chest rises and falls with his breaths. He’s wearing a hoodie that is rather baggy, even on him, and Yeonjun finds it… rather adorable. Yeonjun turns his gaze back up to Soobin’s face, meeting his gaze, and he watches as Soobin slowly nods.
“I believe you, Yeonjun-sunbae,” Soobin smiles, wobbly and fragile, and Yeonjun bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling too big. “I’m… not ready to forgive you yet, I’m still upset about it, but I believe you.”
Yeonjun deflates, his shoulders and body sinking a bit further into the floor. He manages to hold himself up with Soobin’s knees, leaning forward to press his forehead against them once more. The utter relief that he feels makes his head spin, his heart starting to feel much lighter inside of his chest. “Thank you,” Yeonjun mumbles, letting out a deep sigh. “Thank you so much, Soobin.”
Soobin merely nods, the two of them staying static and still for a couple of minutes. Yeonjun readies himself to get up and leave, slowly pulling away from Soobin’s legs, ready to push himself up to his feet, when Soobin reaches out and gently grasps onto his wrist. Yeonjun blinks, staring at where Soobin is grabbing him, before slowly turning his gaze up to look at the younger man—he seems shy, hesitant, and he slowly lets go of Yeonjun’s wrist after a couple more seconds.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Soobin asks, voice tentative.
Yeonjun swallows, blinking slowly, before he nods. “Do you want to invite the others?” He asks in return, tilting his head towards the door.
Soobin hums quietly in thought, his eyes moving away from Yeonjun. He shakes his head after half a minute, tilting his head back slightly as he offers Yeonjun a small smile. “No. We can consider this our first friendship bonding activity.”
Yeonjun finally lets himself grin, nodding as he slowly stands up from the floor. He lets himself sit down on the couch beside Soobin, a respectable distance away, letting himself slowly relax into it.
They still have a lot to work out, and Yeonjun still needs to fully figure himself out—but this is a step in a right direction. And Yeonjun is a little sure that his feelings for Soobin will grow, based on the way it won’t stop beating rapidly in his chest.