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It was strange, having to grow up a second time.
He'd already gone through the basic motions, the routines. Already planned for and experienced his future— one where he'd destroyed the world around him, desperate to kill Ye Zimu.
However, when he truly looked back on it, most of those years were spent in a daze. He had only been surviving— and just barely.
So now, faced with this new reality, he had to actually make choices for himself, rather than falling into one thing after the other.
He planned to focus on furthering his tech and the scope of Kosovo, helping out Ye Zimu and Qiao Yi. His aunt would probably prefer him going the more academic route, but there was little sense in it. Sure, he was smart enough to go to any school, but he didn't need to. He didn't want some moron teaching him things he already knew.
In truth, it was all quite clear. Clear and simple.
So why?
Why was this troubling him?
Why could he face off against an alien without issue but not this?
Why could he fight the former Ye Zimu time and time again without worry but was stopped by this?
Why was it that he could handle dying just fine, but was frozen at the sight of himself in the mirror?
His hair wasn't even that long yet.
For fucks sake, it wasn't even blonde.
So why was it bothering him?
Hell, he'd been fine when he was Panlos, he didn't know why it was different now.
"Ling Chen?" called Ye Zimu from outside the bathroom.
He quickly turned away from the mirror, letting a more relaxed expression stretch across his face as he opened the door.
"Yeah, yeah, what do you want?"
"I was just- um." He stared down at his feet for a minute before looking back up. "Are you okay?"
Ling Chen sighed, dragging a hand across his face. Stupid hero with his bullshit super senses. Why did I agree to tell him the truth about everything? "It's fine," he said, trying to look bored. "Just thinking about the future– past– eh... whatever it is."
"...well," whispered Ye Zimu, "It just that... it seems like something's been bothering you recently."
"And? People die every day. I think there are bigger issues for you to be concerned about."
"That doesn't matter!" Ye Zimu protested, eyes wide. "I mean, it does, but you're my friend. What kind of hero would I be if I couldn't even help out a friend?" He asked, staring at him with a soft smile.
Ugh. I forgot that this version of him has mastered the puppy dog eyes.
"Fine. But I'm telling you now, it's pretty stupid." He combed a hand through his hair, lightly tugging on it.
"If it's causing you trouble, I wouldn't call it stupid. Is there any way I can help?"
Ling Chen let out a sharp breath. "If you can think of one, sure. But I doubt it. It's—" he paused, gesturing wildly to his head, "—this. This is the issue."
"Your... head?" Ye Zimu asked, tilting his head slightly.
"No," said Ling Chen in a flat voice. "My hair."
Thankfully, Ye Zimu didn't start mocking him, even though Ling Chen absolutely would have had the positions been reversed. Instead, he looked perplexed, like he was trying to solve a particularly difficult puzzle, his lips curled downward into a slight frown.
"Is there something... wrong with it?"
"Yes? No? I have no idea. It's just that..." He trailed off. This is fucking ridiculous. "My hair was a bit different back then, so I guess it's just strange to see myself like this."
"What was it like?"
"Longer. And blonde. It was pretty light after... everything, so I didn't need to bleach it before I dyed it."
"So... do you want it to look like that?"
"Fuck no."
The two stared at each other for a moment.
"Maybe we could ask Jiang Xiao for help?"
It started out as an average Saturday, one where Jiang Xiao planned to just chill out and maybe watch some shows. She contemplated going over to Ling Chen's to hang out with him and Ye Zimu for a bit.
However, she didn't expect the two of them to show up at her door, Ye Zimu looking awkward and sweet as ever, while Ling Chen was looking very much the part of a bedraggled cat.
"Hey!" She let them in with a cheer. "Welcome! I wasn't expecting you guys, but I am absolutely free to hang out some! Have anything in mind?"
"Um..." replied Ye Zimu, glancing at Ling Chen before quickly looking back.
Interesting. I wonder what has him so concerned?
Her curiousity was cut off by Ling Chen.
"We need you to fix my hair."
Jiang Xiao almost opened her mouth to ask why, but quickly opted to keep it shut. Even though it looks fine to me, it's clear that it's something personal. He might be hard to read, but Ye Zimu's hesitation says enough. He probably wouldn't want me prying further.
"Sure! I may be more of an expert with longer hair, but I think I could figure out something for you just fine." She gave the two a quick wink, trying to dissolve the tension in the room. "How do you want it cut?"
Ling Chen shrugged, following her further into the house with precise, relaxed steps.
"Not this. Nothing stupid either."
"Hmm..." She tapped on her chin, eyes glancing at the ceiling. "Something more specific might be easier to work with, but I think I have an idea."
"What is it?"
She walked around Ling Chen, poking and prodding at various sections of his head as she walked. "Maybe if we take it up here, we could do this..."
As she rambled, she could see Ling Chen doing his best to look bored. I hope I'm not overstepping at all, but it really is hard to come up with anything without his input.
If he came to me, then it means he trusts me enough to do this. I should at least show that I'm worthy of that.
She let out a small laugh and grinned.
This is going to be the best haircut he'll ever get!
It was done.
It only took a few minutes, but stretched into over an hour once they all started talking.
It honestly felt... nice.
Like he was back there– back then again– but everything was peaceful and surprisingly genuine. He wasn't just some villain pretending just to get information anymore, and it was nice. Weird, but nice.
He even caught himself smiling a few times.
So, when Jiang Xiao finally asked him if he wanted to see his hair, he was filled with dread. I can't believe I almost forgot.
Mentally bracing himself, he let out a curt nod.
When the two held up the mirrors, Jiang Xiao in the front and Ye Zimu in the back, he was surprised to see that it actually wasn't that bad.
It was shorter than it had been, but not too different. The main change was that she cut his bangs short instead of letting them grow out— unlike what his former self did.
It's kinda similar to how it was when I first time travelled to here, now that I think about it. Maybe not as juvenile, but some of the characteristics are there.
He scrutinized himself for another minute, looking everything over one last time.
Tipping his head lazily, he opened his mouth to comment.
"Not bad."
Jiang Xiao jokingly glared at him, putting down the mirror.
"Not bad? This is a work of art!" She gestured grandly to him, laughter clear as day in her eyes.
Ye Zimu walked around to face him, a soft smile on his lips.
"Do you think you're good now?"
Ugh. I reaaally don't want to talk about this.
"Like I said, not bad." He stood, running his fingers through his hair before helping the others to clean up.
And as the three of them chatted away some more, he had a startling thought.
I think this future's going to be okay.