Work Text:
MON, 10:47PM
631 *** 3677: I summon you to the drawring room for thee meeting to day.
631 *** 5537: i think u have the wrong number
631 *** 3677: Do not do the jokes right now. You are needed for thee meeting at once.
631 *** 5537: who r u trying to reach bc i dont have a meeting today w anyone
631 *** 3677: This is not the funnies. You know who I am Colin Robinson.
631 *** 5537: well im not colin robinson so its safe to say that u definitely have the wrong number
631 *** 5537: good luck finding whoever u want to find tho
631 *** 3677: If you are not the Colin Robinson then do you know how I am to contact him from this internets?
631 *** 3677: How did you get into my phone you Imposter??
631 *** 5537: u texted me buddy
631 *** 5537: check the number u typed
631 *** 5537: u probably did a wrogn number
631 *** 5537: wrong*
631 *** 3677: I'm not the Buddy you are the Buddy.
631 *** 3677: Buddy.
631 *** 3677: Identify yourself to me I demand it.
631 *** 5537: no thanks
631 *** 3677: You will tell me your name. You are under my command and will tell me your name.
631 *** 5537: r u trying to hypnotize me or something
631 *** 5537: lol
631 *** 3677: How did you know that I am a vampire?????
631 *** 5537: wtf
631 *** 3677: Ha ha I was just doing the jokes! What is a vampire.
631 *** 5537: right...
631 *** 5537: so my name is memo
631 *** 3677: Hello Nemo! Please tell me now how to get with the internets to message Colin Robinson please.
Nemo: its memo not nemo
631 *** 3677: That is what I said! Now help me!
Memo: well like i said before
Memo: i have no idea how to help u
631 *** 3677: You are useless!
Memo: hey now dont be rude
Memo: and dont think i havent noticed that ur still being secretive
Memo: who r u
631 *** 3677: My title is Slayer of kings, destroyer of worlds.
Memo: ...
Slayer of kings, destroyer of worlds: A human man.
Memo: right.
Memo: ok then
The human man: Colin Robinson has arrived now. Please close this chat machine now, internets.
Memo: thats not how this works but have fun at ur meeting see u never
TUES, 9:53AM
Memo: so hypothetically
Memo: if u werent joking about the vampire thing
Memo: that would b totally ok with me
TUES, 7:19PM
Memo: haha i mean lol vampires arent real
Memo: i was pbviously kidding too
Memo: obviously*
WED, 3:25AM
Memo: mr guy?
WED, 9:48PM
The human man: Memo!
The human man: I did not know that this internets continued to chat even when I am not operating this machine.
The human man: I do not know what you mean about a vampire as of course I am only a regular human man and not a great and ferocious beast to be feared.
WED, 11:40PM
Memo: right...
Memo: well i cant help but notice that u have a staten island number
Memo: which means were probably close geographically
The human man: You know about the Staten Island territory?
The human man: How is it that you know so much things?
The human man: I might have to
The human man: Never do the mind on this actually.
Memo: somehow that isnt making me feel safe buttttt
The human man: Where is the butt?
Memo: u know what nevermind
The human man: So you don't have a butt? This is sad Memo.
Memo: i actually have a good ass ill have u know
Memo: but its strictly for vampires so... guess you have to tell me if ur a vampire
The human man: I do not know how you know all these deep secrets about me.
The human man: But you must not tell any others what you know.
The human man: Or I will have to deal with you in a way that would not be good for thee continuation of your mortal life.
Memo: wait
Memo: wait
Memo: wait
Memo: wait
The human man?: Wait for what Memo?
Memo: ur actually a vampire????
Memo: drinking blood
Memo: allergic to the sun
Memo: fangs and capes
Memo: vampire??????????????
The human man?: Memo I thought you knew this already do keep up.
THURS, 12:29AM
The VAMPIRE!!!: Did I break your puny human brain Memo?
The VAMPIRE!!!: If you do not respond to me I will assume you have died.
The VAMPIRE!!!: Which would be a shame.
Memo: i needed a min
Memo: im good now
The VAMPIRE!!!: Well this is good that you are good.
The VAMPIRE!!!: But I must insist on the great importance of not sharing the secrets like this on the internets.
The guy: Or else.
Memo: no need to get threatening now
Memo: we can get to that later ;)
The guy: How is the smile face inside the internets? Did you trap him?
The guy: You are an experienced hunter, Memo!
Memo: no thats not
Memo: u know what
Memo: forget it
Memo: ask ur friend colin what an emoticon is
The guy: You would have me eaten?
Memo: what do you mean
The guy: Colin Robinson is an energy vampire!!
The guy: Any talking to him about anything would leave me drained.
Memo: well thats a new one
The guy: Hey hey! Is that something the great Memo did not know? I am surprised.
The guy: You seem to know everything else to know.
Memo: i wouldnt say that but im sure willing tolearn
Memo: to learn*
Memo: and honestly do anything for u
Memo: understandign*
Memo: understanding*
Memo: i definitely meant do anything for understanding
The guy: You are of the very lucky to meet me then, Memo, as I am one of the most ancient vampires in Staten Island.
THURS, 1:09AM
The guy: Does it intimidate you that I am so old and wise?
The guy: I will be gentle with you, Memo.
Memo: akehfkew;h
Memo: i mean no def doesnt intimidate
Memo: sorry i was just at work w no break
The guy: How dare they not break your work. I was the friends with the miners in the mines who did the fight for labour onions.
Memo: labour onions
The guy: Yes this is what I said Memo are you having the trouble with reading?
Memo: oh nope no
Memo: it would b cool if my manager cared abt labour unions
Memo: but this is a panera bread
The guy: Does a Panera Bread hold dominion over you?
The guy: I do not know how to break this dominion.
Memo: thats ok mr guy
Memo: it's just the unbearable weight of capitalist society crushing me down
Memo: panera is just a chain restaurant
Memo: nothing u can do about it unless u happen to be able to offer me a full-time job
Memo: lol
The guy: Unfortunately I am not currently looking for a farmiliar at this time.
Memo: well it was worth a shot
The guy: And also you must call me Nandor as we are now the friends.
Memo: ur awfully quick to make friends nandor
Memo: especially settling for someone like me lol
Nandor: What is the meaning of this?
Nandor: The great Nandor does not ever settle. I do not Relent!
Memo: ha
Memo: you say that now but im actually only cool over text
Nandor: The internets are a confusing place but I do not think that I am confused about you, Memo.
Memo: ahahsdhoiueghfo;ireugaoiuhgro
Memo: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Memo: Nandor You Cannot Just Say Things Like This
Nandor: Say what things?
Nandor: Memo you are a weird guy did you know this.
Memo: yep ive been told that before
THURS, 11:29PM
Nandor: I have discovered what the Panera Bread is.
Nandor: Memo why do you chain yourself in service to such big Evil?
Memo: its called i have bills
Memo: and need to eat food
Nandor: Fucking guy. Pesky little human needs.
Memo: yes well unfortunately i am not able to shake off the whims of society quite so easily as a silly little human compared to your vampireyness abilities
Nandor: Vampirism.
Memo: thats what i said
Nandor: I will find a way for you to be unchained from this Panera Bread chain in a no time, Memo!
Nandor: It is good that I do not technically need of thee sleep during the day.
Nandor: I am thinking that I will be making some calls on the phone of the telly.
Memo: somehow i think this is a terrible idea
Memo: but i dont care enough to be worried about it
FRI, 9:44AM
Memo: nandor...
Memo: why did i just get a call from my boss
Memo: who said that corporate is now enforcing break time on pain of exsanguination????
Memo: u know what it doesnt matter
Memo: thank u nandor :)
FRI, 7:29PM
Nandor: Memo you are trapping the smile guys inside of the internets again I do not think that this is very ethically of you.
Memo: nandor its just an emoticon
Nandor: You use nefarious magics.
Nandor: Very cool!
SAT, 9:57PM
Memo: this might be a weird question
Memo: but
Memo: have u been eating the managers from panera bread
Memo: my manager is the third panera manager this week to disappear overnight?
Nandor: I am sure that I do not know what you are talkings about.
Nandor: I do not appreciate being called a glutton.
Nandor: I would not eat three Panera Bread managers!
Nandor: Yuck!
Nandor: This must have been Laszlo or Nadja.
Nandor: Wiley ones.
Memo: wait theres more vampires than u and colin?
Nandor: Yuck!!!
Nandor: Do not insult me by putting me in the categories with Colin Robinson.
Nandor: Fucking guy.
Memo: ok......
Nandor: Yes I have two more of the room mates.
Memo: this is so cool i cant believe there r vampire houses right under everyones noses in long island
Nandor: I do not think your nose is large enough to hide under, Memo.
Nandor: Is your brain having scrambles?
SUN: 3:42PM
Memo: theres a guy watching me from across the street at my panera
Memo: is there any chance ur in the area to come get his ass
Memo: he followed me to the store after my shift
Memo: nandor im not really sure i want this guy following me home
Memo: im going to pull some cool spy shit to get away from him this is going to be awesome
Memo: made it home safe, realized ur probably sleeping rn so
Memo: mr vampire
SUN, 8:46PM
Nandor: I was not doing the stalking.
Memo: i didnt say it was u
Nandor: O akay good I am glad that we are of thee same pages on this.
Nandor: Excepts this is meaning that someone else was doing the stalking to you which is not so good I believe.
Memo: ur a weird guy do u know that
Nandor: Says the Panera Bread chained boy.
Memo: u know what
Nandor: What do I know?
Memo: ...
Memo: nevermind
Nandor: What was this stalker looking like.
Nandor: And also you.
Nandor: For scientific purposes.
Nandor: So I can keep my eyes appealed.
Memo: ahah
Memo: well idk he just looked like a guy
Memo: like the most guy you could imagine
Memo: and im nothing special so imagine that
Nandor: You are not giving me much to go off of, Memo. Fucking guy.
MON, 4:59PM
Memo: i saw that guy again lol
Memo: i wonder if hes just shy or something
Memo: weird that hes following me around and stuff
Memo: but yolo right what can u do
Nandor: What is the yolo?
Memo: oh hey why r u awake rn
Memo: it means you only live once
Nandor: This is a funny human saying.
Nandor: There is many ways to be living more than once.
Nandor: And I am a vampire not a child.
Nandor: I do not have to follow the bedtimes set for me.
Memo: well as long as ur getting enough sleep
Nandor: What are you? My sire? I am not in need of the babying.
Memo: ok nandor
Memo: that guy is gone again
Memo: sometimes i swear hes there but when i look theres no one watching me
Memo: wouldnt be the first time i started seeing things
Memo: hes hard to pick out of a crowd honestly
Nandor: You must stay observant, Memo!
Nandor: Vampires can be very dangerous.
Nandor: Especially ones who are not me.
Memo: im pretty sure i smell like sweat and panera bread so
Memo: imho thats probably pretty stank and likely a deterrent
Nandor: I do not know what this imho is but whatever it is, it is not correct.
Nandor: I do not believe your words for one of the seconds.
Memo: imho is "in my humble (or honest) opinion"
Memo: and you wouldnt know anything about me besides our texts
Memo: so your opinion is biased and not based in reality
MON, 10:14PM
Nandor: Memo
Nandor: I need you to explain to me this idea of the emoticon again.
Memo: well its like you draw a little face but with the characters available on your keyboard
Memo: like :) or :P
Memo: or xD but thats an old one and is probably considered cringe
Nandor: And you are promising it is not a guy trapped inside the internets?
Memo: nope just like a little picture or something
Nandor: Okay-a this is making sense.
Memo: why
Nandor: Colin Robinson has been doing the trolling on the internets and I was wanting to understand.
Memo: thats a good enough reason as any ig
Nandor: <:) Look Memo it is a wizard.
TUES, 9:36PM
Memo: that guy came into work today
Memo: i dont remember much honestly i got super tired all of a sudden when he started ordering
Memo: i feel kinda bad i think i fell asleep on the guy for a second there
Nandor: Well have you been having the sleeps enough?
Memo: LOL
Nandor: What is this meaning.
Memo: oh ok well technically it means "laugh out loud" but in this context i was using it sarcastically in an indication that i am not getting enough sleep
Nandor: But I thought thee managers of the Paneras were needing to enforce the breaking?
Memo: thats true (confirming my suspicions btw)
Memo: doesnt mean im able to sleep at night
Memo: literally lol the insomnia is wild
Nandor: So you are of the saying that a job with different hours would be better for you?
Memo: i mean thats not how insomnia works but i dont think any shift at panera would help me sleep better
Memo: do u get annoyed that most things are closed at night
Nandor: This sometimes inconveniences me, yes.
Nandor: But to be honest it really just cuts out the middle man of hypnotizing items for free if the store does not have alaerms.
Memo: oh cool that must rock
Memo: i have to pay for things like a stinky mortal
WED, 4:20PM
631 *** 6969: h3y th1s 1s c0lin r0b1n$on 1 g0t y0ur # fr0m nand0r
631 *** 5537: what
631 *** 6969: y0u kn0w th4t guy wh0 t3xt3d y0u rand0mly
631 *** 5537: no im not confused about that
631 *** 5537: i mean what the FUCK is wrong with you
631 *** 6969: wh4t d0 y0u m3an
631 *** 5537: u know what it doesnt matter
631 *** 5537: why r u texting me
Colin Robinson: w3ll 1 c0uldnt h3lp it $1nc3 nand0r is always giggling into his ph0n3
631 *** 5537: somehow that seems like a lie
631 *** 5537: also how the fuck did he get my number mistyped from yours
631 *** 5537: theyre totally different
Colin Robinson: 0h th4ts b3caus3 1 gav3 him th3 wr0ng # $0 h3 c0uldnt t3xt m3 ab0ut his h0us3 m33tings
631 *** 5537: ur texting is super obnoxious and honestly making me tired so
631 *** 5537: youve made contact with me now fuck off
Colin Robinson: 0k Gizm0
Gizmo: thats not my name
Colin Robinson: th4ts wh4t it $aid 0n ur pan3ra br3ad n4m3tag
Gizmo: im not even going to ask how u know that
WED, 4:39PM
Memo: colin robinson texted me
Memo: honestly youre lucky u didnt ever reach him
Memo: he sucks
Nandor: Colin Robinson does come from the sucking variety, but only the enrgy drains and not blood sucking.
Memo: is that why i feel tired from texting him
Nandor: I do not know how the internets work but this seems possible.
Nandor: You should just be ignoring him.
Nandor: You are mine.
Nandor: MY friend. Is what I am meaning.
Memo: ahah right ok
Memo: ur my friend too nandor
Memo: probably my one and only friend tbh
Nandor: But you are being such a wonderful friend.
Nandor: I am not understanding why you would not have more of the friends.
Memo: youre the only one wiht that opinion nandor
Memo: with*
Memo: im the closeted gay catholic weirdo college drop out
Memo: my guy these are not generally favourable traits to have
Nandor: Well I am being the coffined gay vampire weirdo never went to college either.
Nandor: So to me it seems that we are the same once again.
Memo: ur too nice fr
Nandor: I am not nice. I am fierce! And Relentless!
Memo: yes yes nandor of course
WED, 7:54PM
Nandor: Memo I must confess to you that I am thinking about how much I miss being a mortal.
Memo: but youre a VAMPIRE!
Memo: how could u be tired of that
Nandor: Spending eternity alone is not being a fun party, Memo.
Nandor: Everyone around me is leaving me at one time or another and no one is ever staying.
Memo: i dont think thats ur fault nandor
Nandor: But I am being thee common demomenator.
Memo: sometimes thats just a coincidence
Memo: people just hurt you sometimes even if they dont intend to
Nandor: I would think it is you who is the one with vampirism.
Nandor: Memo you are wise beyond your years.
Memo: thanks its because im mentally ill
THURS, 8:33PM
Memo: that guy came to my job again today
Memo: i cant put my finger on it but theres something familiar about him
Memo: i mean like obviously hes been to my job and stalked me so thats why i recognize him
Memo: but it seems like i know him from somewhere else too
Nandor: I will eat him.
Memo: you cant solve all problems by eating them nandor
Nandor: This to me sounds like someone who has not been able to solve their problembs by eating them.
Memo: i cant really argue with that
Memo: but its just some random harmless guy
Memo: hardly worth eating in my opinion
Nandor: Hmmm.
Nandor: I will take this into consideration.
FRI, 10:17PM
Guillermo is going out tonight for the first time in months (at least a year) and he's panicking over what to wear. He's not sure why he's panicking, other than the fact that he will be out at night, and he has a weird text acquaintance that claims to be a vampire, and that vampires go out at night. But the likelihood of Guillermo running into this Nandor is very slim, so he's not sure why he's putting on his sexiest outfit (tight v-neck and some flattering shorts). But he is. So he's nervous. For no reason at all.
It takes him about thirty minutes to walk to the club from his apartment, and the whole way there he's trying to convince himself to turn around and go back home to bed. But there's something in the air that has him continue his trek regardless, a single little spur of hope in his chest that sets him aflame with determination.
When he gets to the club, he only has to wait in line for ten-ish minutes before he's let in, and there's not even a single snide comment around him about how he shouldn't be here. Guillermo feels like its a miracle.
It's not long before he has a drink in hand, mingling with the people around him with only slight awkwardness. He doesn't remember exactly who he's talking to or what they're even talking about, but it's enough to make him feel less like an imposter. He barely notices the eyes watching him, used to shrugging these things off as negative stares, that follow him from corner to corner of the room.
He doesn't react to the stares until the owner of the set of eyes has approached him from behind and placed a hand on his shoulder. Guillermo freaks out only slightly, barely even spilling much of his drink on himself as he turns around to face what turns out to be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Guillermo is gay, that is a fact as sure as the sky is blue. But this woman is drop-dead gorgeous, and he can't help but blush and stutter foolishly at her attention.
"What is your name?" she asks, some sort of non-American accent lilting through her words. She's dressed in a gorgeous dress, synched tightly around her waist, making her breasts heave over the top of her outfit and honestly if Guillermo keeps looking at her he might have a crisis about his sexuality all over again. Then he remembers she asked a question and he's just been staring at her boobs uninterrupted for a good minute.
"Guillermo," he introduces himself, shaking his head and nervously wiping his hand on his shorts to offer it in a handshake. The lady grabs his hand and kisses it lightly, making him blush all over, before she smiles.
Her smile reminds Guillermo of a shark's; all teeth. He's kind of obsessed.
"Guillermo? Is this some type of food?" She asks this question as if the answer will obviously be a 'yes.'
"Well actually, the etymology of my name comes from the Spanish form of William," Guillermo can't help himself from saying, "um, well, yeah." His delivery of this fun fact left much to be desired.
She lets out a laugh that sounds like music, and Guillermo is enthralled even more. "Well, I am Nadja, little human," she responds, "and Nadja the book was named from me."
Guillermo is pretty sure that the book "Nadja" came out sometime in the 1920s, so all he can do is nod and smile as she brings him onto the dance floor with some supernatural gravitational pull. It isn't long before he's swaying to the music of his own volition, getting into the groove beside this incredibly attractive woman.
Just as he's getting ready to call it a night on the dance floor, an attractive looking fellow walks up and joins Guillermo and Nadja's small dance circle. Guillermo himself is then gearing up to tell this guy to fuck off, because Nadja doesn't need any weirdos annoying her, when the woman in question breaks into a giant grin and pulls the man into a heated kiss. So obviously she knows him.
Guillermo is using this as his moment to make a break for the exit, Irish Goodbye-like, when, in the next moment he's in the alleyway with Nadja and her gentleman friend, slightly disoriented. He's pretty sure he's not that drunk but he really can't remember how he got from the dance floor to here.
He's being gently pressed against the wall, and he's about to protest, really, he's gay and also way too confused to continue with whatever is about to happen, when a familiar face pops out from around the corner. He's not sure if he should feel relieved or even more freaked out by the face of his recent stalker appearing in his line of sight, so he just settles on stressed and confused, and still slightly affected by an alcoholic haze.
"I wouldn't snack on him if I were you, Nadja," the guy says, his bald head reflecting the light of the street lamp a few metres away, brown suit standing out starkly against the general energy of the club patrons that Guillermo was previously surrounded by. Guillermo's brow is just starting to furrow, because how does his stalker know Nadja? but he doesn't have the chance to voice his confusion before he's cut off preemptively.
"Oh, fuck off, Colin Robinson!" says Nadja's companion, and that makes Guillermo even more confused. There's no way that that's a common name and random coincidence, not in the context of his life within the past few weeks.
"Yes, fuck off, this is our dinner. You can find somebody else to drain." Nadja's response, while also increasing her pressure, holding Guillermo against the wall with more force, makes all the pieces click to place for him. Sort of.
"Wait are you Nandor's roommates?" The question is out of his mouth before he can stop himself, and is immediately followed by Nadja pulling her hand back with a hiss from his neck, looking burned.
"This idiot is wearing one of those T-necklaces. Wait. What did you say?" She stops looking at her hand to stare at Guillermo with a look of surprise. Who he's assuming is Laszlo looks equally surprised, and there's a moment of held silence before Colin Robinson, apparently his stalker and apparently energy vampire, speaks up again.
"Like I was saying, he's kind of spoken for, if you catch my drift. Like as in Nandor has a weird friendship with this guy." He looks bored, but somehow also like he's delighting in some secret, as if he let out a nasty fart and nobody has smelled it yet but the implosion is coming.
Wait he actually let out a noxious fart, Guillermo thinks with a roll of revulsion, before he passes out to the sound of what are apparently two vampires' disgruntled complaining.
SAT, 4:56AM
Memo: ur friends left me in a random apartment lobby
Nandor: ??????????
Memo: as if colin robinson doesnt know where i live
Memo: he stalked me all over staten island
Nandor: What is going on.
Memo: i think ur roomies tried to eat me at the club last night
Memo: but then colin robinson your other roomie
Memo: who is apparently the guy who has been stalking me
Memo: stopped them
Memo: now that i think about it he probably energy drained me to fall asleep
Memo: and then they dropped me off at the wrong building where i woke up
Memo: like two minutes ago
Nandor: What were you doing with my roommates?
Nandor: Memo you met up with my roommates?
Memo: it was a total coincidence
Memo: glad they didnt eat me honestly
Nandor: Yes this would have had consequences.
Memo: ok i made it home LOL im gonna pass out now
Nandor: Yes thee sun is rising so I must also slumber.
Nandor: Sweet dreams, Memo.
Memo: u too nandor
SUN, 11:52PM
Guillermo is walking home from his late shift at Panera bread when he meets a guy on the way, standing down the block from his apartment. His Colin Robinson-shaped stalker hasn't shown his face since the club, and he can feel the increase in his energy tangibly. The fucker had been draining him all around the city.
The man in question is tall, very tall. Like knees weak, tall. Guillermo gulps self-consciously. He's going to have to pass this guy who just takes up the entire sidewalk with his presence. He's gotta be some kind of ren-cosplayer, or something. His cape is ornate and beautiful to look at, even from a distance, and his hair looks like it would win competitions, if that were a thing.
Something compels him to wave at the stranger, who receives the gesture with confusion. The man waves back, but it looks awkward, like he doesn't really know what he's doing.
"Excuse me!" he asks, his voice thick with some kind of accent, which Guillermo can't quite place.
"Can I help you?" Guillermo asks, coming to a stop a few paces away from the man.
"I think that I am lost, will you point me to North?" he asks, which Guillermo barely remembers to pay attention to as he struggles not to drool over the handsome stranger.
"Um, North is, I think, that way?" he says, pointing in what he believes is the correct direction, but is actually more North-West than North. He has to blink several times in quick succession as he tries not to ogle the man's handsome face.
"What is being your name, helpful stranger?" the man asks, his voice carrying a slight warmth.
"Oh, um, Guillermo," he responds, struggling not to blush.
"Well, thank you Guillermo," the man replies, but he pronounces it like 'Gee-earmo' with the emphasis on the wrong syllables. Guillermo only looks away for a split second, eyes flicking to the surrounding buildings so he's not staring, but when he looks back, the stranger is gone and the street is empty.
He shakes his head, muttering about not even getting the guy's name, before he makes the rest of the walk to his apartment.
MON, 12:43AM
Memo: so like how do you source your humans
Memo: is there like a website or something
Nandor: Actually, it is quite annoying sometimes to hunt for humans. There cannot be too many witnesses or else people will notice and this will be causing all sorts of problems in the community.
Memo: coolcoolcool i feel like there should be an easier way to conduct things
Nandor: It is fun sometimes to go out hunting for your prey though.
Nandor: A chase makes the blood tasting better, IHMO.
Nandor: Am I using this right Memo?
Memo: iMHo but very close!
Nandor: I almost was having a good meal earlier but then I was feeling bad because he helped me so I left him alone and ate someone else instead.
Nandor: Who definitely was not tasting as good as the previous one was smelling.
Memo: someone was faced with death and they didnt even know it thats wild
MON, 9:34AM
Gizmo: thanks for stopping me from being eaten btw
Colin Robinson: N0 pr0bl3m0 m0n 4mig0
Colin Robinson: h3y did y0u kn0w th4t
Gizmo: im gonna stop u right there goodbye
MON, 10:43PM
Guillermo sees the guy again, in the same place as yesterday, still looking like a meal for Guillermo to eat, a pole to climb, a gift from God, if you would. He greets Guillermo with a smile as he approaches, and there's something infectious about it.
Guillermo smiles back.
"Guillermo! I was hoping that you would be here again." The guy kind of looks like a little puppy, he considers, and comes to a stop about a metre away from him. "It looks like it is my lucky gay!"
"Haha, yeah. Wait. Did you just say 'lucky gay'?" Guillermo chuckles at him, feeling oddly reminded of someone else, though he can't quite place it.
"Is that not what the saying is?" Mr. Tall Glass Of Water replies, looking dead-serious. Also kind of just dead.
"Usually it's 'lucky day', actually." Guillermo is gearing himself up to get the man's name when he suddenly perks up as if hearing something off in the distance.
"It was nice to be seeing you again but I must be going," he says quickly, turning to stride quickly away.
"Wait! What's your name?" Guillermo manages at the retreating figure.
"My name is-" he shouts over his shoulder, but the actual name is lost to the wind.
TUES, 9:28AM
Memo: we should meet!
Memo: i mean i met ur roommates
Memo: i just wanna complete the set u know
Memo: ok i lied its because ur fun to talk to
Memo: and also because i want to complete the set
Memo: oh yeah ur sleeping
TUES, 7:46PM
Nandor: Yes! This is a fantastic idea.
Nandor: We should be meeting tonight at the club where you were accosted by Nadja and Laszlo.
Memo: um ok sounds good
Memo: wait did u mean tonight as in now
Nandor: I do not be seeing a reason for why not.
Nandor: I think midnight is being a good time?
WED, 12:04AM
Guillermo is once again at the club, once again feeling slightly out of place, and once again wearing his most flattering shorts. He's on the lookout for an ancient vampire, not entirely sure what he should be expecting.
He drinks two drinks and is half-way through his third before he's feeling acceptably unwound to approach the dance floor as he waits. He's actually considering the fact that he and Nandor didn't establish any way of identifying each other when he notices the handsome stranger from nights previous.
The man in question, still nameless to Guillermo, is dancing alone, so Guillermo makes his approach. Greeted again with a big smile, the man immediately pulls him into his space to dance together. "Guillermo!" he says, like him being there was the best part of the night.
"We keep running into each other!" Guillermo calls back, trying to be heard over the loud music.
"We have not run into each other," the guy replies, looking confused.
"It's an expression, it means we keep seeing each other unexpectedly." The explanation causes the man to smile once again, and Guillermo makes note of his large incisors. Maybe this guy also knows Nandor.
Guillermo dances with him for the better part of an hour before he realizes that Nandor is nowhere to be found, and it's well passed their allotted meeting time. And also that he works in the morning. So he quickly bids adieu to his dancing partner and heads towards his apartment once more, leaving the handsome stranger behind.
He can't help but feel a little disappointed that Nandor got cold feet, but he gets it.
He barely remembers to plug in his phone before he's drifting off to sleep.
WED, 1:39AM
Nandor: Memo are you here?
Nandor: Memo did you decide not to come?
Nandor: Memo this was very rude you should be telling people when you are cancelling plans.
WED, 7:49AM
Memo: ???? i was there
Memo: i didnt find u
Memo: i thought u didnt come
Memo: we did a bad job at this
THURS, 3:22AM
Nandor: We must be reorganizing this.
Nandor: I propose we are meeting outside of the club tonight.
Nandor: Tonight as in not right now but later.
Nandor: You cannot be missing me, I am very noticeable.
Nandor: You should be wearing the colour red!
THURS, 5:45AM
Memo: ok cool sounds like a plan stan
Nandor: My name is Nandor.
Memo: yeah its just a saying
Nandor: Well do not be saying it then.
THURS, 11:13PM
Guillermo feels like he looks like Ronald McDonald in his outfit, but Nandor said wear red so that's what he did. His yellow shirt contrasts with his red skirt in a way that didn't cross Guillermo's mind until someone cat-called him by saying, "I'm lovin' it," so now that's all that's on Guillermo's mind.
He's standing in front of the club for what feels like an eternity but was actually about three minutes before he sees his handsome stranger approaching. At this point, it must be the universe shoving them together, with blaring signs, so Guillermo throws caution to the wind and says, "Fuck it."
It's three big strides before he's in the handsome stranger's space, taking hold of his lapels and looking into the guy's eyes. "Hey, listen, I don't usually do this but I'm going to kiss-" he doesn't even get to finish his sentence before the man's lips are pressed against his own, and a hand finds purchase on his waist.
It's like Guillermo's life is flashing before his eyes, as he kisses this stranger, who kisses really well, it must be noted. He's on the way to forgetting what he was even doing at the club before the stranger pulls away.
"Guillermo I am so glad you are here for kissing me but I am supposed to be meeting someone here right now." The words are like ice water over Guillermo's head as he remembers his purpose as well.
"Oh, ha, me too, actually." He takes a step back and is in the process of smoothing down his shirt and ruffled skirt before the guy gets a pensive look on his face.
Guillermo takes a look around, noticing that they're the only two on the street before realization slowly dawns on him as well. Suddenly the jumble of a name caught over the wail of the wind clears in his mind. "Nandor the Relentless."
"You?" is all he can say in the face of this realization.
Nandor, apparently, shares a similar state of shock, "But you were saying that your name is Memo? Or Guillermo? Which is the lie? Or both??" Guillermo can kind of see Nandor spiralling right before his eyes.
"Well, it's both. Memo is a nickname for close friends."
"Fucking guy." Nandor doesn't leave much room for a response as he's leaning back down to press Guillermo into another kiss, and the guy can't help but think that the details will sort themselves out later, but right now, he has a vampire to kiss.