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Sometimes, Tsukasa looks at Rui and thinks, ‘What does the role of a perfect soulmate involve?’

Is it the way he puts up a fuss yet graciously allows Rui to take from the larger lunch Tukasa purposefully brings? Or is it when they both stay long after Nene and Emu have left to slowly clean the stage for no reason other than they wanted to? Perhaps it’s the way they seemed to have carved out a space for themselves upon the school roof. He always gives into Rui’s schemes, which is more than he can say for anyone else. 

Tsukasa doesn’t have a clear reference for anything involved with romance. He’s read plays, manga from Saki, and watched movies; it always seemed so easy there. A simple ‘I like you!’ and then the story would be over. No one ever showed what came after, but did it truly matter as to what came after? A happy ending makes everyone smile, so who’s he to argue with the after?

Perhaps being a good soulmate is the way Ichika would always—without fail—deliver Saki a flower while she had been stuck in bed. Or is it the way Akito only ever gentles his rougher nature around Touya? Emu loves showing up sometimes with anything she can find that tastes of grapefruit for Nene to try. Maybe, he should be sticking to observing the way his parents interact when they’re trying to figure out meals for the four of them.

The important thing about soulmates right now is that Tsukasa knows he and Rui are supposed to belong to each other. 

He remembers the moment he first saw Rui standing in the crowd of the amusement park. The inexplicable need to join in a show that didn’t have room for him quite yet. ‘I found you,’ echoed through his head in a rush, staining the backs of his eyelids with the acid green of a coat running away rather than towards him. 

Tsukasa remembers this meeting well. For how else could he describe the sheer familiarity of someone he’s certain he’s never met before?  If his siblings were the vague deja vu of rereading a play he’s read before, then this was slamming the book directly in his face in an attempt to force the information in his head.

The one from his dreams. Tsukasa knows him. It doesn’t matter if he’s never actually seen his deuteragonist’s face. 

“It’s showtime!”

Intimate words Tsukasa is certain he’s heard before. They came from his own mouth as he declared the beginning of a festival fit for a king. A whisper of encouragement into listening ears as he pushed the pianist forward from the back. Cackling as his hands were raised in the air to announce the arrival of the jester. There’s a shadow who needs to shine with the light he created.

Tsukasa went home the night he first saw Rui and, for the first time in his life, dreamed in his own body. 

Before then, he had never once put more thought into his dreams than he needed to. 

Most of the time, they didn't make much sense anyway. Everyone has had them since they were children. They were the fantastical backdrops for his never ending attempts in making Saki smile. They were the inspiration for his time with Touya. Never needing anything more than the settings, characters, and plots. Tsukasa would write about them and forget the rest. 

Tsukasa glances over to Rui sitting at his desk from his curled up position on the couch. He’s currently falling asleep over his latest project, as he occasionally shakes his head to keep himself awake, citrine eyes focused despite the sagging eyelids. Soon enough, he shall fall asleep— arms will pillow his head and he’ll sleep through Tsukasa putting a blanket over him as he softly chides him for falling asleep in his chair. 

But.

“Shouldn’t you be heading to bed soon?” Is this being a good soulmate? He thinks as the words come out. And shouldn’t it be natural to take care of the pieces carved from his very soul?

He’s been every single role he can think of. A king. A pianist. A jester. A fragment. Far grander. Far smaller. They are him in every single inch that they are not. Because he is simply Tsukasa— and he is still learning who those pieces of himself are. Future world star. Not some understudy to be forced into a single role. He wouldn’t be able to be contained to just one.

They are roles he’s learning about from the inside now. No more looking at himself through the rosy tinted lens of Rui. Or jaded. It’s always the extremes when it comes to them.

Rui blinks over at him with startled eyes, evidently having forgotten about him— rude, but Tsukasa will forgive him anyway. “Ah– Tsukasa-kun.” He hums a bit as he raises his arms to stretch, the cracks of his back somehow breaking the silence more than Tsukasa’s voice did. “Is it this late already?” He murmurs in surprise when he glances at his phone. 

Tsukasa hadn’t noticed the time pass either, caught up in his current reading of a fairly interesting play he had come across while waiting for Touya at the library. It had only when his own biological clock had caused him to yawn that he realized they should probably get some sleep. 

“Are you staying over?” Rui kicks his feet against the ground which causes the wheels of his chair to roll towards the couch Tsukasa’s sitting on. He faces Tsukasa directly, never once looking away. 

“I wouldn't want to impose,” Tsukasa thinks of the large empty house awaiting him, and for a brief moment, wonders if he can impose.

But that would be no good. His parents had promised to take him and Saki out to breakfast in the morning when they got back and he is the ever dutiful son. 

Rui shakes his head as he stands. “It’s fine. Though,” he adds as he kicks his chair back to its proper place, “you can have the bed upstairs.”   

“Are we really about to have this argument again?” Tsukasa lowers his book to eye him dully, his foot following to tap the ground impatiently. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s stayed over and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. He’s already giving into the thought of staying, not feeling like coming up with excuses not to. (And is this part of being a good soulmate?)

He’ll simply set an early alarm.

Rui pauses beside the couch, before cautiously reaching out his hand. Tsukasa looks down at it, briefly confused before hurriedly reaching out when Rui goes to pull it away. Is this part of the soulmate role? Awkwardly having a staring contest with your partner as joined hands hang limply in the air?

“We can share the bed again?” Is that a hint of pink on Rui’s cheeks? 

Tsukasa approves of his decision. “That’s more like it.” He puts his foot down when it comes to Rui sleeping properly, not about to let him sleep on the couch while here. That and Rui wouldn’t let him sleep anywhere else either.

He’s lended an extra pair of pajamas when they make their way upstairs, the sleeves of his borrowed shirt needing to be rolled up so he can move his arms properly. While Rui is getting changed, and as he tucks himself into bed, he wonders if part of the reason why Rui moved to the garage is because of the quietness up here. 

There’s a wrench in his hand and the too big handle makes it difficult to curl his small fingers into a fist, frustration making it even harder when all he can focus is on the terrified faces aimed his way.

Rui’s bed holds an old familiarity. One where Tsukasa is too short and too stretched out to fully relax in. 

The tension eases when Rui slips in beside him. Tsukasa listens as he breathes in and— “Goodnight Tsukasa-kun,” he murmurs, the earlier drowsiness quickly making its return.

Tsukasa smiles to himself as Rui drifts, “Goodnight Rui.” He lays there, wondering if a good soulmate would turn around and pull his partner into his arms. They’ll wake up tied together, he knows. 

And even if Saki had never told him about his unconscious clinginess, he remembers arms wrapped tight around him like steel. They were always warm, holding him as if he were a precious gemstone— because he is one. He won't let anyone forget about him being a star. 

Usually, Tsukasa drifts off faster than he can help it. First to sleep, first to wake. He can always get more things done in the morning when there are fewer people around. With the early sun, he didn’t have to worry about the shenanigans of his deuteragonist.  

But with his deuteragonist beside him, he can’t help but stay up just a little longer to listen to his quiet breaths. The steady in and out accompanied by the slightest of rustling from the blanket over them. He drifts, getting sleepier with each passing moment, resisting the urge to reach out until fully unconscious.

His last thought for the night is that he doesn’t think he would mind it if he and Rui properly ended up together, as the sound of falling sand overtakes him for the night.

“That should do it!’ Rui announces as he lets the fallboard drop back into place with a gentle thud. “You should test it out now while I still have all the tools out— wouldn’t want this to take too long.”

“Right!” Tsukasa hurries to replace the piano stool as Rui steps out of the way, taking a seat. He flexes his fingers, barely heeding Rui as he takes a seat next to him.

He hadn’t placed the stool in the middle as he drifted to the one side. 

Placing his fingers on the middle keys, he slowly drifts towards the outer ones— the motion looking like rippling water after it’s been disturbed. Simply wonderful. Tsukasa doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to turn to anyone else to tune a piano for him. 

He wouldn't be able to explain why either. It’s just different in the best way possible when it's Rui. How could Tsukasa have gone so long without him around to tune the pianos he played? 

“Well?” Rui disturbs his playing, and Tsukasa’s breath catches when he turns his head to find Rui staring right at him. “Is it better than before?”

“Much!” He squeaks out as he flushes, sounding much too similar to his smaller friends. “I—” want to get closer, “should probably get back to practicing now.”

“Of course,” Rui hums. “Though, I hope you don’t mind if I stay. You always have the most interesting interpretations for when the new scores are written.”

“Do I?” Tsukasa turns back to the piano— the one thing he can never be unsure about. “I just play what’s given to me…” 

“Do you see anyone else playing at the moment? No. There’s a reason for that.” Rui reaches into his pocket to pull out a small notebook he’s taken to writing in recently. “Don’t mind me,” he adds, “simply do what you do best.” 

When Tsukasa places his hands back on the piano, he decides to play from the score in front of him. If Rui likes his interpretations so much, then it shouldn’t hurt to play the new song he had commissioned right?

Tsukasa supposes that it’s easy to be in love with Rui, but it’s only if he compares what he feels to what he already knows. He knows he loves Saki. And he knows he loves Touya. 

There will never be a moment in his life where he wouldn’t want them all safe, protected, and most of all— happy.

Saki smiles when they are splayed out on the floor of his room, talking about nothing while they both wait for their freshly painted nails to dry. She always sits in the front row when she’s at their shows, because it’s the best possible seat to take everything in. He’s almost envious of how easily her smiles come, but it doesn’t matter in the end when he can never fight against the urge to not smile back. 

After he regains his breath from the slight hitch whenever he sees her smile, he’ll always make sure to return it. Tsukasa will forever be glad she can enjoy her life now.

Touya’s smiles do not come as easily as Saki’s, but in return, the heart on his sleeve is possibly bigger than both of the Tenma’s will ever be. Whenever he stops by, he’ll always take a second to observe the growing pile of plushies on Tsukasa’s bed— all the ones given to him by Touya. Quieter he may be with his expressions, but no less meaningful. 

Outside of the loneliness and the anger, one of the emotions that’s always stood out most Tsukasa when he dreamed as Rui had been the fierce protection. No harm shall ever come here it said. Many times, Tsukasa had woken up with his arms outstretched across the bed, only to find himself disappointed with cold sheets. He would think it silly to wake up missing himself if it didn't ache so much whenever it happened.

Has Tsukasa ever felt that protective over Rui in the time he's known this version of him?

No, he doesn't think so. And the only times he can remember Rui ever being that angry over something had been because of Emu's brothers that time when they were thinking of shutting down some of the rides. And that time with Nene. He can’t ever forget that time with Nene.

He supposes it's easy to be in love with Rui because he can care for him like he does with everyone else in his life. The strangest part is whenever Rui attempts to do something in return. There's a little white horse with a drum that sits on his small corner table now— one with pink and purple hair and star clips. If he didn't squish it to feel the unyielding steel underneath Tsukasa would've believed it to be a full plushie. 

Tsukasa wonders how Rui had been able to put it together when he's the one who remembers putting the horse together the first time. Either Rui's memory is good enough to remember past Tsukasa's thoughts or he had the dream himself recently. 

The little horse had actually been a neat supporting character not too long ago for a show. One where he had a talking animal companion because he had lost his voice to a curse—

Ah.

There he goes again. His starting thoughts never seemed to matter when they ultimately always ended up on a show. 

Tsukasa hopes Rui doesn't blame him when he puts their work before them. When he was younger, the thought of becoming a star to impress his soulmate when they finally found each had been too enticing a thought. They have more important things to worry about than any sort of relationship between them. There doesn’t need to be any changes when they’re already close—and growing closer still—and they already spend every moment they can in creating the most wonderful shows to make their audience smile.

Together. They're always together. As they should be.

There's a part of him that wonders if a different soulmate would be able to do better.

“Torpe. Torrrpe. Tor pe.” 

“Is repeating his name supposed to help you gain insight into his character?” Rui chuckles in front of him, startling him out of his thoughts. “I suppose the meaning behind the name is a good place to start if anything is to be considered.”

Tsukasa looks up from his notebook in awe, needing a breakthrough to get a hold of this character already. “A name isn’t a bad idea actually…”

It’s been a few days since he’s actually seen Rui— for whatever reason he and the others have been keeping away as he tries to get into character. Really . Just because they were not practicing together, doesn’t mean they couldn’t see each other. So, he had rushed out of his classroom the moment they ended so he could wait outside of Rui’s until the doors opened to throw himself down on the seat in front of Rui and stay there. 

Rui had let out a startled laugh at the action, and Tsukasa had felt all tingly because of it. Getting Rui to genuinely laugh is always a special case, one he’s been making happen more often. 

“It means clumsy.” Rui supplies absently as he blatantly reaches over to take from Tsukasa’s lunch. 

He’s not even attempting to hide it anymore, Tsukasa grouses to himself. And to think, they could’ve been having a perfectly fine luncheon if Tsukasa could simply make sense of Torpe. 

That nagging in the back of his head, as if something about Torpe is supposed to be familiar has been bothering him too. Nothing to help him get into character properly. 

He furrows his brows, “As in he’s clumsy with his steps? There’s no mention of that being anywhere.” He would know. He’s combed through as many of the translations as he could get his hands on.

When Nene had mentioned the name of their next potential show, a resonance rang inside him. Even if he had wanted to change the show to be something he’s more comfortable with, it had been hard to ignore the piece of him that always seemed so dormant. 

One who had tried to hide from Rui’s gaze once upon a time. Tsukasa couldn’t fathom the thought. 

He thought that piece of him had disappeared. 

“Perhaps he’s clumsy with something else then.” Rui reaches over to poke at his fingers. “Though, the word could also be referred to someone who is in love, but too shy to tell the object of their affections. Now how would you apply any of this to the person Torpe is?”

“But there’s no one Torpe is in love with…” Tsukasa frowns as he leans back in his seat— strangely enough, the bitter taste of a lie coats his tongue. “Or is it because he’s in love with music and is shy to share that part of him? And it’s only when he’s attempting to play in front of other people that he’s clumsy. And yet he’s perfectly fine in front of those animals…” Tsukasa lets out a breath from deep inside him, feeling the rumble in his throat as he brings a hand up to ruffle his hair in frustration. 

“Sorry Rui, I don’t know if that was very helpful information.” He adds apologetically, once again not being able to think of Torpe outside of the show. 

In response, Rui closes his eyes. He takes a moment to think and Tsukasa waits patiently for his next words even if the hand he keeps moving through his hair suggests otherwise.

He takes the moment to smooth his hair back down in the chance a fellow student walks by. As a class representative and a star, it would be best to present a proper example. 

“Have you ever thought of incorporating anything from what you already know?” Rui lowers his voice as places an elbow on the desk to prop his head up with his hand. 

“Know?”

“Mh-hm.” Tsukasa’s bag shifts next to his leg as Rui reaches out to tap his foot against it. “Would any of our selves be able to help you in gaining any insight to Torpe? If even one might be close emotion-wise, that might be enough for you to start understanding.”

Tsukasa pauses as he thinks. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time the two have taken advantage of their dreams in order to write a show. Not too long ago they had performed a show where Emu had played the lead role of an adventurer. He and Rui had to exchange all sorts of notes they had taken about each other to make a proper show, but it came out as wonderfully as expected.

There had been a time where Tsukasa had been piecing together as many parts as he could to write a show. A magnificent one. It would star him and catch the attention of his deuteragonist so much, they would never want to leave him.  

Rui likes to throw plans away for his own, however, and they’ve been making their dreams a reality ever since they began a proper troupe. The slight weight of Rui’s foot against his grounds him as he attempts to delve as deep into his many memories. But then he realizes—

“Rui!” Tsukasa leans over the desk sternly, leaving barely an inch of space between them. “How in the world am I supposed to figure out my past selves when I’ve only started to learn about them?”

Rui raises a brow. “I said our selves,” he says flatly. "You should know enough about me by this point." There's a sour undertone in his voice about that one, one Tsukasa knows comes from being laid out bare without his permission. 

Tsukasa acknowledges him with a disgruntled hum as he leans down to pull out another note book— this one filled with memories of him as Rui. His dream journals are on the thicker side, each book containing multiple incarnations of Rui. 

Which ones do we have today, hm? Tsukasa flips to the index he’s made for himself. The Wonderer. The Director. The Ringleader. The Antiquarian. All named to make it easier to figure out the incarnations. Those last two are definitely out. 

The Antiquarian wasn’t nearly as bad as the Alchemist—Tsukasa would wake up with headaches from the many equations he couldn’t understand—but there was no need for the large amount of knowledge about lightbulbs of all things. His head always felt too small when he would dream as them. And… well, the less said about the Ringleader when attempting to understand a character as delicate as Torpe the better. 

Even Tsukasa could understand that someone as strong willed as the Ringleader would probably scare Torpe off. 

As for the Wonderer, he would most likely be too busy trying to figure out how Torpe is able to speak to talking animals. Actually— there’s a thought. Is it only Torpe who’s able to understand the animals or is it everyone? Tsukasa huffs, as there’s never anyone else around in order to tell and Torpe gives no indication of it being out of the ordinary. 

Is it something he should take at face value? Should he play the scene with more awe in his voice when they meet for the first time? Is it a completely random power that showed up when Torpe needed it? 

This only leaves the Director as a possible option out of these few. Through the many lives Rui has lived before, the Director stood out with his slightly milder personality when comparing him to the ones unhinged. 

Mild did not mean soft. 

When Tsukasa had dreamt as the Director, he had been unyielding. A master in music with the sheer amount of knowledge about instruments Tsukasa knows he himself can’t actually play. That had been the best part of dreaming as the Director– being able to focus on the music rather than himself had been a treat in this case. 

Tsukasa has seen that pathetic piece of himself turn away again and again. What a useless waste of time it must’ve been to get nothing done. He’s kind of like Torpe in that way, wasting time. 

“What was it like?” Tsukasa glances up when Rui begins to speak. He’s still leaning on his hand, eyes focused completely on him, and there’s a part of Tsukasa that thinks he should stay that way.

“What was what like?” 

“Dreaming as me.” 

Confusing. Terrifying. Awe-inducing. Lonely. So very, very lonely. 

Tsukasa tries not to think about how he understands. 

“Powerful.” Tsukasa settles on. He doesn’t think there will ever be a memory that could compare to the feeling of holding planets in his hands and only thinking of how boring everything is. 

Rui blinks before letting out a small laugh, “I don’t know if I should be impressed at you being able to think of a single word to encompass everything or not.” 

“Well what was it like as me?” Tsukasa retorts as he lowers his notebook. “You must’ve been basking in my magnificent glory!”  

“Hmm,” Rui folds his arms on the desk as he thinks. “Now there’s a word for when I would dream as you… magnificent.”

Tsukasa flushes at the way he sounds the word out slowly with that cat-like satisfaction of his. He tightens his grip around his notebook as he takes a breath, doubt starting to creep in.

From what he could remember of Rui’s thoughts he’s always been the brightest spot. Is he living up to the standards set by his past selves? Did they know what it was like to be a perfect soulmate? He’s had months with himself, when he’s been with Rui for years. 

“Did—” Before Tsukasa could finish his sentence, the bell rings, signifying the end of their current conversation. 

Did any of what Rui see affect how he sees him now?

The gun in his hands is steady as he raises his hands up. This is the perfect opportunity to separate themselves— break this useless bond between them. He doesn’t need it for his work. Never has and never will. 

So why does he hesitate to pull the trigger? 

Rui gestures for him to continue, “Did?”

Tsukasa can only smile as he shakes his head, “Nothing important.” He reaches down to grab his bag and starts to put all of his books back into their proper places. When he rises from his seat, he looks back down at Rui. “See you after class?”

“If you say so,” Rui eyes him contemplatively, before tugging up the corners of his lips. “See you.” 

When Tsukasa returns to his actual seat, he can’t shake the feeling that he missed something. Had Rui been hoping to learn more about what Tsukasa had written about him? All he has to do is ask, though Tsukasa knows he’ll ultimately be the one to bring it up anyways. 

A perfect soulmate should always be there to reassure his deuteragonist about always being there for him, shouldn’t he?

The thing about Tsukasa and Rui. Rui and Tsukasa. The pair of them. The thing about them is that they do not have normal dreams. And Tsukasa isn’t simply referencing the magical fact of being able to experience his deuteragonist’s memories while he dreams. Or the mysterious fact that people can dream as their soulmates in the first place. 

No. 

He’s referring to the fact that he and Rui have many many more memories than the average dreamer. 

So first—

It had been strange to fall asleep as himself, only to be someone else— and then wake back as himself. He always felt as though he had been thrown into an audition without a script of his own, while needing to improv on the spot in a set world. 

Except, it’s not like he ever had any control while he dreamed. So did that mean he actually had a script the entire time? 

And then—

He had been talking to Saki once when he mentioned a grand palace. One filled with all sorts of flowers, some grown by his very hands. Tsukasa had been dressed in the purest of white, and Rui had been afraid to taint the color. With what, Tsukasa didn’t know. 

Saki’s face had twitched, as if she had been about to smile but had suddenly forgotten half-way through the motion. Tsukasa had been confused when she asked if this was supposed to be a part of his new show or something. Did she not have any fantastical dreams with her soulmate? Nothing where she could literally dance among the stars?

She did not. Saki dreamed as herself, because she had already met her soulmate. Before that, she dreamed of being a playful girl who liked to look at the stars. This girl lived not too far from them, and the two always made sure to visit the same park.

No laughing hats. 

No colorful explosions.

No giant hourglasses.

Just a normal park. 

It wasn’t until he officially met Rui that he got any sort of confirmation as to what had been happening to them. Though, Tsukasa didn’t particularly care for the details at the time. He had found his soulmate, someone who could join his new troupe, and they would be performing together. 

Tsukasa didn’t need to know anything else.

“So… you have the same dreams then?” Nene brings her hands up to fiddle with one of her side tails. 

Tsukasa blinks at her distractedly, needle in hand. “As Rui, you mean?” During practice, she had tripped over the long skirt of her new costume, not used to the weight and tore a pretty decent hole. Luckily, it had been her foot that had gotten caught, so the innermost skirt had taken most of the damage. Easy to hide for a star like himself. “Isn’t that the whole point?”

Rather than simply sew the hole together, he’s adding another piece to act as a patch. So, if she trips again it will hopefully be the new piece that tears and not the main skirt. He’ll add another layer of tulle later to hide it some more. 

Nene eyes him consideringly with that doubtful gaze of hers— she'll learn sooner or later to look at him with awe. “Hmph. Then could—” She cuts herself off, “Ah- nevermind.”

“Could I?” He gestures for her to continue, and he reminds himself to be patient with her. Not everyone could be as courageous as him, so he'll be courageous for them instead.  

“You wouldn’t tell me what the dreams were like, would you?” He has to lean in when her voice gets quieter towards the end.

Is she being serious—! Tsukasa takes a deep breath. It’s one thing to share with his siblings, but he’s only known Nene for a while now. “Nope!” He beams, because playing secret keeper is something he’s willing to do for Rui. “You won’t be breaking into any of my secrets with your wily ways!”

“See?” She scoffs, “Useless question. And… did you really have to put it like that?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he hums. “And of course I did!”

It’s too hot for holding each other, but it doesn’t mean they can’t be around each other. One hand is slippery from the sweat of holding another, while his other is sticky from the fruits he’s been feeding to his partner. The monkeys have started to mimic their laughter as it tumbled out of the shady spot they found for themselves. 

“What would you want to know anyway? Didn’t you two grow up together?”

Nene frowns as she turns around with his finger. “But— his always sounded different from the dreams I had. It was always hard to tell if he was joking or not. Emu was always here.”

She is still here at the park actually. Due to being the strongest in their still fairly new troupe, Rui had commissioned Emu's help in moving some of their bigger props while Tsukasa fixed Nene’s skirt.

And oh… Rui had most likely not told her if she’s wondering. 

“And is that all you dreamed about?” Tsukasa glances around, looking for the scissors after he threads a knot to keep the strings in place.

“Watch it.” Nene warns as she hands them over.

He takes them quickly. “The nerve—! You ask about me and then I can’t ask anything in return!”

“It’s your fault for not telling us anything,” she sniffs. 

The grand reveal of their bonding had been more of a slip on Rui’s part— even though they hadn’t been hiding it in the first place. Tsukasa had been scolding him over one of his inventions again when Rui had remarked that soulmates should understand. Emu’s screech after that had been quite the jumpscare to them both. Actually— that’s probably why Nene had tripped. 

Everyone who should know is already in the know about Nene and Emu being soulmates. Emu had called him the night she had met Nene face-to-face— the early hours making it harder than ever to understand her happy squealing. He wouldn’t be surprised if her whole household knew about the bond that night. 

It had simply slipped Tsukasa’s mind to tell them about it. Between the excitement of forming a troupe with his deuteragonist and the desperation to get him back, Tsukasa hadn’t been thinking of spreading the news.

He had been glad Rui had come back. That’s all there was to it at the time. 

“Just…” Nene squares her shoulder as she looks down on him in his kneeling position. 

Tsukasa’s been in this position before. He knows exactly what he looks like from her angle. Rui’s relief had nearly made him want to collapse. 

“Just make sure you take care of him okay?” She softens. “Don’t screw it up.”

With a quick snip of the scissors, Tsukasa is back on his feet. “As a star, it’s only natural I would look after my soulmate! Don’t ever doubt that!”

Because that’s supposed to be part of being a good soulmate, right? He had promised Rui twelve thousand percent.

He can’t take another step. 

“I-I can’t…” he whispers to himself, the words unfamiliar to him as they come out of his throat. “If I fail here… I’m not- I’m not the only one involved anymore. Everyone’s counting on me being able to complete what I’ve started here and that means I have to stay on that stage.”

“Don’t pay attention to them.” Hands brace his face. The brimmed hat casts Rui's— the Director’s face in shadow. “Focus on me only when you’re out there, just like when we’re alone, yes?”

But he’s not supposed to focus on one person, he wants to argue. How could the audience be involved if they were being ignored?

“I can’t just look at you the entire time,” He smiles slightly, curling his fingers around the other’s hands to keep them there. 

“Sure you can,” a forehead is pressed against his, and now they’re both cast in shadow with the way their hats are positioned. “You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again.”

“I’m glad someone believes in me,” he means for his words to come out teasingly— a way to divert attention and stop thinking about it, but his earnestness betrays him.

“I’ll always believe in you.” Tsukasa closes his left eye when the Director starts to rub his face against his— cheeks brushing together like he’s a cat. “Even if you doubt yourself, know that I am there.”

Tsukasa breathes in sharply as he wakes, heart racing. He blinks his eyes rapidly, noting the dim light starting to illuminate his room. Sighing when he realizes what happened, he rolls onto his back, folding his hands along his stomach as his heart begins to calm.

Having dreams isn’t always fun , he thinks. 

Some of his favorite shows used to be those with a medieval setting— the magic and the character studies always being more interesting to him. That is, until he became a sorcerer. One who had the power to do anything he wanted. 

He wonders what Rui thinks of soulmates who try to kill each other. Dare he bring it up with Rui around?

A sword had been in his hand this time around as he ran forward, not heeding the heavy swirls as he ran directly towards Rui. Red is the color of passion and hatred, and he curls his fingers at the thought.

He grumbles as he sits up, too energized to go back to sleep. Should he get started on cooking a hearty breakfast for both him and Saki? To let it cool on its own for when she wakes up to join him. 

Oh, but then he runs the risk of making too much noise. Saki may sleep with her door mostly closed, always leaving it cracked for him, but he wouldn’t want the sound to travel. 

His scripts are still sitting on his desk. Maybe he could go back to reading? Now that he's figured out how the scene with the stars is supposed to go, he has to work double time in order to make sure he doesn't mess up when he joins the others. They've been counting on him this whole time and he's not about to let them down. 

“Tsukasa-kun?” Kaito calls softly from his pillow, and Tsukasa’s heart starts racing again at the sudden voice.

He turns to his side, seeing the blue figure standing on his phone where he left it laying last night after a call with Rui.

“Kaito?” Tsukasa lowers his voice, “What are you doing here?”

“Hmm,” Kaito’s smile is small as he shrugs his shoulders, twirling his arms around so his palms are facing up. “I don’t know. Luka ended up waking me up with her roaming and I haven’t been able to fall back asleep since. So, I decided to check in on you guys to have something to do.”

“...Was anyone else awake?” He sighs in relief when Kaito shakes his head. He also elects to ignore thinking about where in the world they could possibly sleep in somewhere like the Sekai. There’s plenty of buildings around, but it’s not as if he’s wandered around inside them.

“Is something troubling you? You’re not one for being up this early.”

Tsukasa hums. “Just a dream,” he says simply, and the words are enough for Kaito to realize what kind of dreams he’s talking about. 

Kaito glances off to the side, seeing something Tsukasa can’t. “Why don’t you stop by? This way we can speak properly if you wish.”

Taking a moment to think, the brighter light tells him he’s not going to be getting anymore sleep for now. Peeking out into the hall, he determines that Saki isn’t going to be getting up anytime soon. 

“One moment,” he tells Kaito and Kaito vanishes with a flicker. 

He reaches over and opens his music app to enter the Sekai, and after he blinks away the colorful triangles in his vision, he sees no one around. “Great…” he sighs. “Don't tell me someone started a hide and seek game again.”

As he makes his way to the main stage they use, he spots a large pile of plushies sleeping on the ground. If he were a less dignified person, Tsukasa might consider joining them to go back to sleep. But stars are dignified people, so he makes sure Usa-chan is covered up with her blanket before continuing on his way. 

The sound of a piano playing makes him pause at the entrance. Kaito is sitting on the stool with Miku sitting behind him— and this is probably the most still he’s ever seen her. Even though he tries to be quiet as he steps in, she perks up before glancing his way. She frantically pats the floor beside her, keeping quiet for Kaito’s song. 

She hums lowly in satisfaction after he sits down next to her, taking care not to lean back too much. Tsukasa relaxes as they listen, that last bit of lingering tension dissipating under Kaito’s gentleness while Miku curls up against his shoulder.

“Is Tsukasa-kun feeling any better?” Kaito asks when he brings his song to a close.

“Hm?” He blinks up at Kaito’s back. “I don’t think I was feeling down in the first place?”

“That’s because Tsukasa-kun figured out Torpe right?” Miku squeezes his arm. “Tsukasa-kun was out of here in a flash the other day!”

He smiles proudly, “That’s right! I think I figured out how best to perform the scene with the stars. All thanks to Saki and Touya!”

“Yayy!” Miku beams. “The show is going to be so much fun!”

“Yes,” Kaito agrees. “Will you be able to make it in time for when you rejoin the group sessions?”

“Ah—” Tsukasa hesitates. “Well… I was wondering about that.” Now that he’s figured out how the scene with the stars, all he needs to do is refine the character. He’ll be rejoining the others soon, but that doesn’t mean he can take a break during this time. “I need—”

“Why not play a song?” Miku interrupts him, a knowing glint in her starry eyes. “Isn’t that how Torpe knows how to speak? A secret language for himself.” She giggles.

“I suppose?” He blinks at her. 

“Be our guest,” Kaito chuckles as he goes to stand, and Miku sits up eagerly. He moves to sit at the end of the stage to let his legs dangle over the side. “Go on, it’s only us here.”

“If you say so,” Tsukasa mutters. He clears his throat as he stands, placing his hands on his hip and chest. “Then I shall entertain my audience!” 

Always wonderfully in tune despite no one ever needing to care for it, the Sekai’s piano is a marvel. He sits himself down and Miku shifts around the stool to lay her head on his knee. 

He doesn’t ask for any requests; his hands unconsciously play through Twinkle Twinkle Little Star after thinking about it so much lately. Everything is so gentle and soft here when there isn’t anything crazy going on. While he doesn’t mind the noise, he likes that he can focus on his music. 

“Tsukasa-kun’s music is always amazing,” Miku sighs in delight, curling up against his legs. Always? He doesn't remember playing anything before the first Torpe performance they did here. Though, this is Miku, so the less questions he asks, the better.

The weight of her against him is nice, even though it makes him wish she were someone else—

Oh.

The Pianist is a part of himself that he doesn’t like to think about. He’s a pathetic piece of himself— enough to make him wonder if they were ever the same person in the first place. Except, didn’t he keep playing the piano too? Tsukasa had named that piece of himself the Pianist for a reason. If he had given up so easily, Tsukasa wouldn’t have tucked him away with his other pieces. 

Is this how you felt all the time, Pianist? I’ll have to make my apologies to you for thinking you were similar to Torpe. 

Rui had been onto something when he started to talk about their past selves— though Tsukasa never doubted that. He’ll have to do another quick read on all the notes he made on the Director to gain more insight about the Pianist. 

“Torpe must’ve been hard,” Miku says quietly. “But Tsukasa-kun got it! He always does.” She tilts her head up to face him through the movement of his arms. “Will Tsukasa-kun come here to play the piano more often?”

“If that’s what you want,” Tsukasa laughs, trying to make the sound blend in with his instrument. “I can’t leave the audience waiting now, can I?”

“Miku would like that very much,” she hums—and it’s almost a purr—as she settles her head back down. "Friends are always fun to have."

He’ll have to remember to start playing for Rui now that the mystery of why the seat beside him always felt empty has been solved. 

“If you would allow me too!” Tsukasa pauses— he isn’t second guessing himself, but this is certainly the most courage he’s had to muster in a while. “I would like to play you a song!”

Rui blinks, “Is there something special about this song? You’re not usually one to be so upfront about something like this.”

“As a matter of fact,” Tsukasa cups his hands together in front of his chest, “this song is most important to me. It is of the utmost importance that you hear it at once!”

“Then let’s not keep you waiting,” Rui smiles softly, and how Tsukasa wishes he could keep that gaze on him. He could sustain himself off of an audience of one if the audience is Rui.

He doesn’t know how to use his words. They’re so brash he’s always kept them to himself. His little friends always understood him— even as he tried to run them off. But, it’s not like they ever spoke that much outside of requests. It had always been about his playing. 

Tsukasa is going to communicate the best way he knows how. He's leaving his faith in Rui to be smart enough to receive the message.

“Tsukasa-kun! Tsukasa-kun!” Emu calls from her position. “Target spotted!” 

“You found the perfect one?” Tsukasa perks up as he turns around. 

“I found the perfect all!!” Emu couldn't be seen from the sheer amount of CDs she had stacked together to hold. “Do you think Nene-chan will like them?”

“What are you doing with all those CDs!?” He takes a step back when the tower in her hands wobbles dangerously. 

“They’re for Nene-chan!”

“Do you really think she needs that many!?”

“But I don’t know what she’ll liiiike. I can’t decide!” 

“So that’s when you ask?” He takes a step forward to take some of the covers from her, now able to see her face. Only half the words are familiar to him with all of the titles being in English. 

With their trip here in America coming to a close, he had wanted to pick up souvenirs for his family. Emu had happily volunteered to join him when he had announced his plans over breakfast. Rui and Nene had elected to stay behind as Nene hadn’t been feeling up to doing much.  

“But it’s a surprise.” She pouts at him. “You can’t ask when it’s a surprise.” 

“You’re sharing the same room,” he points out. “How is she not going to find out?” Shousuke hadn’t been too impressed when finding out about half of them being soulmates. Any other time, the gender split would’ve been just fine. 

Keisuke had kindly told him to get over it. 

There’s a moment of silence where she thinks, and the people around them start going back to what they were doing beforehand. They must've noticed his star-like aura , he thinks a little smugly. 

“Tsukasa-kuuuun!” Emu suddenly wails. “Nene-chan is going to find out about her present! Nene-chan can’t find out about her present!”

“Quiet down!” He shouts over her. “We’ll just hide them in my room until we leave.”

Emu stops wailing, back to being cheery. “Will you? Oh thank you Tsukasa-kun!” She goes to tackle him before realizing she can’t. 

“A star always knows when to be generous!” He can’t pose very well with his hands being full, but he still makes sure to lift his shoulders proudly. 

“Oooh let’s get all of these now and then hide them! Do you think Nene-chan would play hide-and-seek with them? She likes games.”

He lets Emu continue her chatting as they make their way over to the registers slowly. Very, very slowly. He also makes sure not to look at the price as she finalizes her purchase. 

“So, why did you buy so many CDs?” He asks her, long after they’ve started making their may back to the hotel. “You said you didn’t know what Nene would like, so is there a point to all of them if she ends up not liking some of them?”

The sun has started going down— partly due to him needing a few hours to select just the right presents to bring back to Saki and Touya. 

“Wouldn’t it be better to get the very best for your soulmate?”

Emu hums, “But would Nene-chan know the bestest from these?” She lifts up her bags to peer at her goods.

"Shouldn't it be up to you to find out then?" He sighs— knowing he would spend hours for Rui to agonize over a gift if need be. 

"Nope!" She skips ahead to turn and start walking backwards, and Tsukasa keeps his eyes focused behind her. "Nene-chan knows what Nene-chan likes, so she'll be the one to decide. But I get to be the one to surprise her!"

"And that's enough for you?" Should he change his gift giving process for Rui when the time comes—?

"Yup!" Emu smiles. "Isn't seeing them happy the best part? I only have to be there!"

The balloon in his hands is clear, the inside filled with brilliant yellow and purple. A hand is wrapped around his and they both watch as it floats away when they release it. 

Only have to be there? Tsukasa can't help his smile when she begins to laugh. Being there is something he can do.

Easily.

“Oh Rui!” Tsukasa calls as he runs to catch up to Rui heading home after they finish cleaning up the stage. “Don’t forget about me!”

Rui slows down his steps and turns, a cute, yellow monster with a purple tongue held in his arms as he waits. “How could I ever?” He says when Tsukasa catches up. “Did you need something?” He asks as they return to walking. 

“Need something?” Tsukasa starts rifling through his bag. “That is not the question you should be asking!”

“So what should I be asking then?” There’s a gentle smile on Rui’s face when Tsukasa glances up at him. 

“You should be asking,” Tsukasa pauses dramatically with his hands held out of Rui’s view, “what I got for you!”

Pens are probably not as interesting a gift as CDs, but he had decided to take a page out of Emu’s book. He’s still playing it safe because he already knows Rui likes to write, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if he could write in different colors too? Rui’s fingers have been covered in extra ink lately from trying to get out the last bit of ink from his current pen. 

“For me?” Rui hesitates, and Tsukasa is quick to correct his feet when the motion puts him in front of Rui. “Why?”

“Why not?” Tsukasa holds up the few packs in his hands and decides to place them delicately into the monster’s perpetually open smile. “Oh! It looks like he’s eating them!” He laughs. 

Rui tilts the monster a bit further back to prevent the pens from falling out. 

The auspicious figure in front of him is a marvel to behold, which makes him wonder why the figure ever decided to show his face to him of all people. He is not one for being humble, but if that is what is needed, he would do so. 

“So it does.” Rui eyes him contemplatively before leaning down, resting his forehead against Tsukasa’s. “Thank you for the gift.”

Is this what it means to be there for your soulmate? His heart feels like it's about to burst from the rush of positivity. Brushing aside the thoughts of his siblings for a brief moment, Tsukasa can confirm how easy it is to be in love with Rui.

Tsukasa can’t help it when he flushes at the earnest words, but he stays put anyway. 

Tsukasa is fairly certain he’s stopped breathing. He’s sitting in front of the orchestra’s piano— a familiar spot to find himself in. Except, he can’t focus like this. His side is much too warm. 

His hand quickly shoots out to catch the pen before it falls from Rui’s limp fingers, and he gently places it on the keys, quickly following up with Rui’s notebook.

Well.. he guesses this is what he asked for after waiting for Rui to fall asleep in the first place. Preparations have been moving along quickly as he got them all ready for their next performance. There have been multiple occasions where he needed to drag him to bed so he could at least get some sleep. 

Rui’s hand is paler than his, he notes distantly when he catches a glimpse of them. Unconsciously, he reaches forward before pausing. Would Rui mind? Tsukasa didn’t want to disturb him. 

But they’ve been spending every moment they can together. But Rui told him he could. 

He takes Rui’s hand in his hand before he can think about it too hard. 

This is a song for his sister. As he plays it, he can only think of the little stars he sees in her eyes every time a smile graces her face. 

His eyes are not on her when he opens them. 

Instead, amber meets citrine as Torpe meets his Director’s eyes from across the stage after he finishes his sister’s song.

He blinks, “Oh no…! It’s over already…?”

“That was magnificent, Torpe!”

“What is it that has you writing all the time?” Tsukasa leans on Rui’s shoulder. “You’ve barely stopped these days.”

Rui hums as he pauses, briefly resting his head on Tsukasa’s before re-straightening. “Why don’t you help me come up with a name? And then I’ll let you be the first to read it.”

“Okay?” He blinks, before muttering, “I don’t know how helpful I’ll be with that.” 

“This will need your finishing touch.” Rui nods firmly. “Let’s say there’s this pianist,” he drops a hand to softly caress the back of Tsukasa’s hand, almost uncertain with his movements. 

Tsukasa turns over his palm to take Rui’s hand. 

“And let’s say this pianist has a hard time expressing himself when he isn’t at his instrument. But, he doesn’t let this stop him, because he makes plenty of friends to help him along the way.”

Tsukasa squeezes Rui’s hand. Because, this is sounding awfully familiar—

“And then let’s say the pianist met this band leader. This band leader and pianist have been inseparable ever since, even if the pianist still has trouble with his words. But, this is okay, because the band leader always understands.” Rui leans his head to the side to eye him. “What would you say to this?”

Tsukasa clears his throat roughly, “I would say this pianist is very lucky.” 

“I think the band leader is too,” Rui replies. “But I would like for this story to be told from the pianist’s point of view.” 

“Perhaps a name then?” Tsukasa furrows his brows. “Or a title— one that has a double meaning.”

“Double meaning?” 

“One meaning is for the pianist, and the other is for the band leader.” Tsukasa looks at him meaningfully, because his story is not a love story in a romantic sense, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t find it along the way. 

Rui smiles slowly, and his gaze is on him. Just as it should be. “I think I have the perfect name,” he says as he starts writing on the cover of his book with the pen in his hand. 

Torpe.

Tsukasa thinks it’s a wonderful name. 

Tsukasa shoots up in bed, the writing he had seen still so clear in his sight. The Pianist wasn’t just similar to Torpe. He is Torpe. 

He is Torpe.

“Good mor— Onii-chan!?” Saki takes a step back when he comes barreling down the stairs— already dressed and ready to go for the day. “Is everything alright?” He can hear her call as he runs out the front door after the quick pit stop of putting on his shoes. 

“GOOD MORNING SAKI! I’LL SEE YOU LATER SAKI!” He calls as he runs. 

Actually, he’s not quite sure why he wants to see Rui so badly after this revelation. Had Rui meant to immortalize them so when he wrote out his story? Though, if he thinks about it carefully, written words were his way of communicating just as much as the piano had been his. 

And well, it looks like Tsukasa has been a star longer than he realized. Now, he only needs to make sure people remember his name instead— and the name of the one who made him a star. 

“RUIII!” Tsukasa screeches as he barges into Rui’s garage room. His mother is a very lovely woman who lets Tsukasa come and go as he pleases when she’s around. “Did you know!?”

Rui turns around on his chair slowly, only to blink at him with mild concern— as if Tsukasa needed to be asked if he were okay. 

Tsukasa’s answer is that he's fine. On the frazzled side—which he hopes to clear up momentarily—but fine.

“Did I know what?” Rui eyes him with genuine confusion. “Is this about your ceiling?”

“About the— wait what?” Tsukasa does a double take. This guy—! “What did you do to my ceiling!?” 

“Who knows?” Rui shrugs nonchalantly before gesturing for him to take a seat.  

“Don’t think I’ll be forgetting about the ceiling comment!” Tsukasa pauses in the middle of the room, narrowing his eyes as he thinks. Rui smiles slyly in his seat as he waits.

Rui loved him so dearly he had immortalized their story, a declaration for all and them, he realizes now. And maybe Tsukasa has this whole soulmate thing wrong. He doesn’t need to put as much work into something that requires more than one person.

Mates are plural for reason after all. 

Tsukasa marches forward and plops himself directly on Rui’s lap sideways, face red, but once he’s seated he decides on not budging. 

“T-Tsukasa-kun?” Rui uncharacteristically stutters, hands held up in the air uncertainly. He plants his feet on the ground to keep Tsukasa steady.

“Did you know about Torpe? And your writings?”

Rui furrows his brows, “My writings? Tsukasa-kun, I’m afraid I’ll have to admit that I do not know what you’re talking about.”

“Hmmm, that’s fine.” Tsukasa settles on as he throws his arms around Rui’s neck to tuck himself in close. Rui likes puzzles, so he’ll figure out what he’s talking about eventually.  

After all, if Tsukasa is going to figure out how to play the perfect role of soulmate, then he’s going to need his Director to do so. He smiles when he feels hands upon his back, steady and familiar. Even if he doesn’t know what’s going on, Rui’s always there for him. 

They’ll be able to perform the show he wants when they’re able to. For now, they’ll keep advancing together to make that little dream of his a possibility. 

“Don’t you think it’s time to get some rest?” Tsukasa scolds. “After so much planning, and the excitement of our performance, you need to sleep. Just because I’m over doesn’t mean I’m going to let you stay up late.”

“But Tsukasa-kuuuuun,” Rui whines. “A few more minutes? I’m almost done.” He places the thin, metal covering in his hand down on his project.

“Up.” He demands.

This little scene of theirs becomes a mimicry of their night from weeks ago— which feels much longer than it should. Rui guides him back to his room, gives Tsukasa the pajamas he is now starting to think of as his and they both continue with their nightly routine. 

Tsukasa had remembered to text Saki earlier about staying out longer than anticipated.

Rui hadn’t hesitated this time when he held out his hand, and neither did Tsukasa in taking it.

Tsukasa turns— and consciously pulls Rui into his arms after he lays down, leaning his head down to hear the strong thudding of Rui’s heart. It’s racing, and Tsukasa can definitely get used to this. 

“Tsukasa-kun?” Rui stiffens in surprise. 

Surprise. Tsukasa hides his proud smile into the cotton of Rui’s shirt, as it’s not often that he gets to be the one to surprise Rui so obviously. “Goodnight, Rui.” He waits patiently as Rui’s limbs slowly soften.

What does it mean to be a perfect soulmate? Tsukasa still isn’t sure, but he’s fairly certain this is a step in the right direction. Those steel-like arms are wrapped around him gently, holding him protectively. 

“Goodnight Tsukasa-kun.”