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“We need to go,” someone repeats next to him, an urgent hand tugging at his forearm but Jared tiptoes, scanning the gathering crowd around him, only half listening.
“Wait,” he mumbles, distracted by his search.
“We have to get down to the basement.”
“Yes, yes… of course,” he shoots someone a polite smile, not fully sure who’s speaking to him now. He’s being gently tugged along, but he sidesteps the hotel staff member that has now joined the growing crowd of people trying to herd him to safety as more weather alerts make the phone in his hand vibrate angrily.
“Where’s-“
“He’ll be on his way down,” someone tries as a way to get him going but Jared frowns. He wants to see him. “Jared, let’s go, everyone has to go down, someone is taking Jensen down too.”
“I just want to see him,” Jared starts, still scanning the crowd as he’s guided through the doorway, urgently waved along by a serious looking staff member. The sense of urgency grows around him and inside him as he walks down, and down, seemingly never ending stairs until he’s three levels under ground and enveloped in sticky, humid air and assaulted by the faint smell of gas and rubber. They zig zag between the parked cars of the garage and he can hear more people making the same trip down the back stairwell they just came through but the person he’s looking for is nowhere to be seen.
He’s hit with the immediate urge to call out for his co-star, Jensen’s name on the tip of his tongue and his heart ticking anxiously in his chest; anxiety that isn’t so much his own, as a growing concern for his best friend. He swallows, can’t call out for Jensen now, suddenly aware of how much attention that would generate.
“He’s not great with big crowds,” he points out though to the people closest to him, his voice deep with worry he’s also acutely aware might not be helpful to make too obvious as he can feel the eyes of the growing crowd behind him, like a blistering heat at the back of his neck. He’s aware that he’s being observed, and he feels overwhelmingly responsible for the safety and wellbeing of the large crowd of people that’s come to see him and his fellow cast members, but they’re all equally powerless against Mother Nature and he composes himself. He tugs his jacket off, already feeling the humidity turn his skin clammy.
“I’m sure he’s being looked after. We’re all being instructed to go to the same place,” someone tries to reassure him but Jared smiles to the ever growing occupants of the large hotel, internally kicking himself for not breaking away to locate Jensen upstairs.
“Who’s with him? It’s just so many people-“
He’s cut off by another loud message over the loudspeakers urging people to make their way down to the underground space they’re in and make room for the stream of people spilling out of the doorway. He feels his heart picking up again as he’s tugged even further into the enclosed space, everyone forced to move to make space for the newcomers. Shocked hotel guests keep spilling into the room, kids carried between the tightly parked cars and he’s sure he can see a few of them crying, making his stomach knot.
His eyes flicker down to the phone he’s anxiously tapping against his palm and he’s mentally willing the bars to increase in numbers. Please please. As lost as he’s feeling without his cell reception he would be perfectly happy without it if he just had Jensen with him.
His best friend can entertain a crowd, can charm them with a smile or simple glance, but Jared knows that though he does his best to not let it show, large crowds in tight spaces make him anxious and uncomfortable and the taller man is hit with the forceful realisation that he doesn’t trust anyone else to see the little subtle signs. His strong, confident and capable co-star will appear to be okay to everyone else, but Jared will know. He will see the restless ways his eyes will flicker over the crowded space, seeking control and space and relief. He will hear the short, quick breaths as the steel band of anxiety tightens around Jensen’s ribs and only Jared will see the tense shoulders and spot the pink heat on his cheeks against the paling complexion, golden freckles standing out stronger against the ashen hue.
“I’m going to find him,” he announces loudly, before he can stop himself and he finds himself squeezing himself down a narrow path between a couple of rows of parked cars. Somewhere else a car alarm goes off, the sound muffled slightly by the still growing crowd of people spreading out as well as they can in the limited space offered by the concrete walls around them.
“Jared!”
“I need him with me,” he calls back over his shoulder, keeping the potentially more accurate ‘he needs me with him’ to himself in a subconscious effort to shield Jensen from that revelation.
He’s straining to see as far as he can through the crowd. Corner, he thinks. If he knows Jensen, and he knows him better than anyone - maybe better than Jensen knows himself, he will be subconsciously moving himself out and away the best he can. He will find himself in a darkened corner of the space, chest rising and falling just a little bit too fast, fingers twitching, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.
The thought makes Jared even more determined and he picks up speed - not sure how he knows where he’s going, but suddenly trusting himself to figure it out. His mind is cataloguing little nooks and crannies along the far walls of the underground parking garage as he goes and he’s infinitely grateful for his height as he scans the crowd in front of him, his 6’4” frame allowing him the advantage of unrestricted views.
He glances down at his phone again, hoping for the miracle of reception but the only thing he’s met by is the urgent weather warning and the insistence to find shelter from the incoming tornado.
“Damn it,” he whispers under his breath, continuing to push and squeeze through the crowd. He finds himself nodding and smiling absentmindedly at the fans he’s passing as they try to catch his attention and he waves and nods, trying to acknowledge their kind gestures. He doesn’t want to be impolite but he’s on a mission.
He knows where he’s going now, where he wants to go and there is a low rumble of a whisper through parts of the crowd and someone points, someone else too and Jared looks. Yes. Yes, yes.
“Jensen’s down there- that way,” someone offers and Jared squeezes their shoulder in silent thanks.
He makes his way down the side of another row of parked cars, and someone else gives his arm a gentle little tap, before pointing.
“Jensen’s behind there,” the woman before him tells him, pushing back into the crowd, making space for him. He gives her a grateful smile and pushes ahead.
Suddenly he hears it.
“Jensen, Jared’s over here!”
Someone is pointing towards him this time and Jared’s heart picks up again. Green eyes meet his from a dark space between the wall and a thick supporting pillar and Jared hears the unspoken ‘I can’t move, I can’t breathe’ and he gives the other man a soft smile that he hopes communicates that he knows and that it’s going to be okay and that they’ll be out of here in no time.
The crowd parts for him, and any other time he would have laughed at the way curious and star struck faces turn to look at him as he hurries over but he’s distracted by the carefully crafted composure on Jensen’s face that only he can see is crumbling.
He steps up close to Jensen, finds himself partly shielded from naturally curious eyes behind the pillar - they’re both used to being looked at of course, but this is different and thankfully most people seem to understand that, averting their eyes and stepping back to give them privacy. He feels Jensen’s hand close over his wrist, the tiny, tiny tremor apparent to Jared as he shuffles them further behind the pillar.
“Hey man,” Jared smiles. “Didn’t know where you were there for a second.”
“‘m here,” Jensen replies, eyes flitting over the space with nerves Jared knows no one else would sense.
“Now I’m here too,” Jared says, his voice a warm rumble with emotion; relief and ease over being where he knows he’s needed, his large warm palm placed securely over Jensen’s hand that’s still wrapped around the taller man’s wrist.
“Yeah,” Jensen breathes, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Yeah. You’re here.” His fingers press against the inside of Jared’s wrist, the rhythmic pulse there calming his own heart.
“I’m here,” Jared repeats playfully tapping the toes of his boots against Jensen’s hoping to offer some distraction. Jensen blinks some of the glassy shine of panic out of his green eyes and Jared feels relief slowly spread in his own chest.
“Fuck, this day is getting bizarre,” Jensen laughs, slightly breathless still but Jared nods, his own chuckle spilling out of him.
“Right?! Well at least we’re not stuck outside.”
Jensen nods.
“Do you have service on your phone?” Jensen asks and Jared shakes his head.
“No, you?”
“No.”
They stand in silence for a moment, Jared purposefully not moving as he feels Jensen’s arm against his own. They ground each other and always have. The world has shrunk down to the dimly lit space behind the concrete pillar and Jared glances down at Jensen’s chest, silently counting the beats between his co-star’s breaths in his head, his own smile growing as he notices the space between the rise and fall stretch back to normal. He leans over, playfully knocking his shoulder against Jensen’s, his silent way of saying “proud of you, man. You’re okay” and Jensen’s soft chuckle in response makes Jared himself relax enough to lean back against the solid pillar behind him.
Now they wait. Together.
“You think she’s getting rained on?” Jensen whispers and Jared glances at him.
“Who?”
“Baby!”
“I’m sure she’s fine.”
***
Later that evening they have dinner, a whole tired but thankful bunch of them and when the dessert menu is passed around and Jensen declines with a small shake of his head, his smile a little strained and his eyes clouded with exhaustion Jared bumps his knee against the smaller man’s under the table to grab his attention.
“Hey Ackles,” Jared smiles through a big yawn, stretching his arms over his head, “come upstairs with me? I have something I want to show you quickly.”
Jensen excuses himself, saying quick goodbyes to the merry but tired group of friends and colleagues at the table and Jared does the same before they head towards the elevators.
“No wonder people think we’re secretly fucking,” Jensen chuckles as they step into the elevator and Jared laughs.
“What?”
“I want to show you something? That’s definitely code for ‘I’m horny, let’s get out of here’.”
“Oh is it?” Jared teases him, cheeks rosy after a couple of extra glasses of wine with dinner. “That’s why you came so willingly then, is it?”
“Fuck you,” Jensen laughs and Jared lets the sound wash over him and it settles deep inside him, making him feel warm and safe and where they stand, shoulder to shoulder, swaying gently.
Jared raises his eyebrows in a silent question at that and Jensen rolls his eyes playfully.
They go into Jared’s hotel room once they’ve arrived onto their floor and Jensen throws himself down on his back on Jared’s bed with a loud sigh. Jared kicks his boots off by the door glancing back at the sprawled out man on his bed.
“Don’t pass out on me,” Jared chuckles warmly and Jensen groans, pulling himself up on his elbows to look at his co-star. Jared leans back against the desk that’s placed against the wall opposite to the bed and he sees the shift in Jensen’s eyes as they soften with affection and appreciation.
“I’m okay, Jay. I promise.”
“I know,” Jared replies softly and for a moment they just look at each other, the shared familiarity of their friendship lingering in the air. Jared can’t help but smile when the faint blush spreads across Jensen’s cheeks, the tips of his ears reddening under the gentle gaze of his co-star.
Jensen knew there was nothing Jared needed to show him, knew the second his friend said the words downstairs that the younger man just needed to assure himself that the events of the day weren’t still stressing him before they went to bed. He knew Jared needed to know he’d be okay to sleep before he let himself go to bed.
“I just know you find shit like that intense,” Jared offers and Jensen nods. “And we didn’t really get much time to check in properly after…”
“Yeah, I… I wish it didn’t make me feel so, trapped.”
“I know,” Jared nods, head cocked as he watches Jensen run his fingers nervously through his hair.
“And I was worried about the car,” Jensen adds and Jared stills.
“Yeah, I noticed. You had no idea where I was there for a while, but you were worried about Baby…! You know it’s a different car right?”
“Doesn’t matter!” Jensen insists and Jared flops down onto the bed next to his friend, lying down with him.
“You’re definitely okay though?” Jared asks after a moment of comfortable silence, both men relaxing on the bed, resting their eyes a bit.
“I wasn’t, earlier,” Jensen admits then and Jared thinks he knows that, but doesn’t say anything. Instead he’s grateful for the heat of Jensen’s body that he can feel against his own and the fact that the storm passed them safely. His thoughts wander to those he knows were in the storm’s path, that are dealing with loss and devastation now and he feels it tug painfully on his heart.
“I wanted to go find you,” Jensen explains quietly, “but, I. I…”
“You did good, man,” Jared leans his head against Jensen’s where they lie, temple against temple. “You found some space to breathe, out of the way, and I’ll always find you. You know that.”
“You love me so much you just can’t stay away,” Jensen offers for him, his voice warm and deep with playfulness and sleep as he allows himself to sink further down into the heavy duvet and mattress underneath him. Jared looks over to see his co-star’s eyes flutter closed again and again, as his friend fights sleep.
“Something like that,” Jared smiles at him, reaching over to give Jensen an affectionate little tap right over his heart. “You gonna stay?”
“Mmm, maybe,” Jensen hums, eyes closed and Jared grins.
“You’re never going to make it to your own room if you don’t get up now, Jen.”
“‘m just resting my eyes.”
“Dude, just sleep.”
“Your bed,” Jensen mumbles and Jared gracelessly rolls off the bed, pulling his shirt over his head.
“I’m aware of that,” Jared chuckles, moving down to the foot of the bed to remove Jensen’s boots with a gentle tug on each.
“Don’t lose those,” Jensen mumbles sleepily, eyes still closed, long eyelashes dark against his fair skin in the low light of the bedside lamp.
“God, wouldn’t think of it, I’m sure they cost more than my car,” Jared laughs and Jensen just huffs sleepily, turning onto his side on the bed, pulling his knee up. “I’m jumping in the shower - if you’re still here when I get out I’m going to take your jeans off and just tuck you into bed, dude.”
“Can’t decide if that is a promise or a threat,” Jensen mutters against Jared’s pillow, eyebrows pinched in a little frown but making no effort to move.
He knows he doesn’t have to. He knows he doesn’t have to say out loud to Jared either that there is still a dull itch under his skin, and that he can still hear the faint rush of his own heartbeat against his eardrums like a dull hum of anxiety. The bedding under him is cool and crisp and he allows himself to bury his face deeper into the pillow.
Dinner and a couple of drinks had helped some, but he knew that even if no one else around the table had noticed anything, he had been quieter than normal and Jared had known. He knew every time he pressed his knee against his own under the table, or when he rested his giant arm on Jensen’s backrest, warm palm rubbing the older man’s back when he felt the tension next to him, like a joint energy field only visible to the two of them, that was a fraction off.
He’s only lightly slumbering when Jared comes back from the bathroom, smelling like his shower gel he must have brought from home - the one he’s always used, for as long as Jensen’s known him, and the familiar scent makes Jensen smile against the soft pillow.
“I know you’re still awake,” Jared laughs softly as he shakes his damp hair out of his face, rubbing at his scalp with a fluffy towel.
“If you’re staying here you should at least get into bed properly, Jen.”
“I’ll put you to bed ‘operly,” Jensen mumbles incoherently against the bed and Jared shakes his head at him.
“Save it for the fans tomorrow, stud.”
“You’ the ‘ne takn m’ pants off…” Jensen mumbles as Jared dutifully and as promised starts tugging on the jeans and Jared laughs.
“Whatever, I’m just making sure you’re comfortable,” Jared grins as he manhandles Jensen over onto his back, making the older man huff in surprise, sleepy eyes blinking up at him.
“I think you’re going to try to cuddle me all night, and you want to be comfortable, and not have my jeans all stiff against your freakishly long legs,” Jensen accuses him with a yawn.
“You’re going to have what stiff against my leg?” Jared asks with a teasing laugh and Jensen groans in protest.
“Not what I said!”
“Go to sleep, Ackles,” Jared smiles at him as he folds his friends’ jeans over the desk chair. “I know how long you take to get ready in the morning, remember?”
He gets no response from the man on the bed so he switches off the lights, lies down next to his friend and allows himself to relax into the bed once he’s set his alarm on his phone.
The darkness of the room envelopes them, the faint hum of the air conditioning acting like a soft white noise. Jared feels the familiar touch of Jensen’s knee against the back of his own leg as the other man rolls over with a content sigh.
“You’ll wake me up if you feel the anxiety come back, right?” Jared whispers and Jensen drops his forehead against Jared’s shoulder, resting it there.
“‘m okay now, Jay.”
“Jensen.”
“Yeah, I promise.”