Chapter Text
Jeongin wondered for a long time if he was the only one who had noticed it. It actually shouldn't even be possible… He actually noticed it completely by accident. A normal person wouldn't have really noticed anything, but Jeongin did. Maybe it was because the boys actually spent 24/7 always together and Jeongin knew everyone inside out. Still… It almost felt wrong when he noticed it. That very small change. Still, Jeongin couldn't get it out of his mind. No matter how hard he tried. He stood confused in the corner of the dance studio and stared at the others. Maybe they didn't really notice it then… If they didn't, then was it even worth worrying about? But he was… He was really worried.
Only a couple of minutes ago, everything had gone well. Everything had been completely normal. Bang Chan is the oldest of them. He is also the most experienced and definitely the bravest of them. He acted like the father of their small family with his members. That's how he's always been. Clingy, loving and soft. Bang Chan in particular had always been this way with his members. He loved hugging them. He loved to touch and snuggle them. It was in his nature. He would often just walk up to someone, wrap his arms around them and pick them up. It had happened to Jeongin so many times that it was completely normal. Maybe that's why he had noticed the difference so quickly…
After they had done some rounds with their new choreography, Bang Chan clearly wanted some skin ship again. The youngest was closest to him. He had his back to him, talking to Felix and Hyunjin. He felt the oldest's arms around his waist. He didn't even pay attention to it at first. It happened so often. Bang Chan tightened his grip, but then it happened. Jeongin swore he felt the world stop. He felt his heart drop. Bang Chan hyung… Couldn't bring himself to pick him up… This was the first time it had happened.
Felix and Hyunjin didn't notice anything, but Jeongin felt a sick feeling in his stomach. Bang Chan had let out a low hum from behind him and given him a gentle pat on the shoulder. Jeongin had quietly turned to look at his leader, but Bang Chan had already turned around. Changbin had something for him and he watched with interest what Changbin showed him on his phone. Jeongin swallowed heavily. What just happened?
Didn't Bang Chan notice it himself? He had to notice it, right? Why hadn't Bang Chan been able to do lift him? They had only danced through the choreography twice, he really couldn't be that tired yet. Bang Chan could go through an entire concert and still lift at least two of his members afterwards. This made no sense. However, Jeongin knew that Bang Chan had tried to lift him. But it seemed that he was physically unable to do so. Was he hurt? And why didn't Jeongin know about it?
Jeongin furrowed his brow and looked closely at his leader, who was still happily chatting to Changbin. Something was wrong… But Jeongin didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. Was it even his business to say anything? No one else had noticed anything. Jeongin's chest tightened.
"Okay everyone! Let's continue!”, Minho shouted startling Jeongin.
Jeongin pursed his lips and thought for a moment. Maybe he wouldn't say anything. Not now...
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However, Jeongin didn't stop thinking about it. Bang Chan was now the only thing on his mind all the time. He gave all his attention to his oldest hyung and that was a good thing. He had begun to notice things that he hadn't noticed before. He noticed that Bang Chan was wearing much thicker clothes than before. He knew that Bang Chan loved black hoodies, but he didn't even wear black t-shirts anymore.
Bang Chan always looked so… Cold. When had he started shaking like that? He also seemed a bit thinner than Jeongin remembered. Although, he wasn't entirely sure because Bang Chan only wore huge hoodies. Bang Chan no longer touched others as much either. He also didn't hug others or try to pick them up.
But Bang Chan otherwise behaved the same way. He smiled and laughed in the same way as before. He sang and danced as before. He always waited for others to eat before him. Wait a minute... Did he eat less than before? Jeongin shook his head. He was going crazy.
Bang Chan had one bad habit that everyone knew. He didn't know how to ask for help. He never really even wanted help. He saw himself as everyone's protector who didn't even have the right to need help. He could sometimes suffer for days alone because he is too stubborn to ask for help. Jeongin knew that Bang Chan had developed this mindset during his trainee days and he just never got over it.
It was unbelievable how someone who would give his whole heart to others would never accept even a little help from others. Jeongin only saw negative things in his oldest hyung at the moment. He wanted to talk to someone about it, but he didn't know who. Should he mention it to Seungmin or maybe Felix? But then what would he do? Even if all the members were as worried as he was, Bang Chan still wouldn't take their help.
Jeongin pursed his lips. He stared at his hyung past his other members. They sat in the studio surrounded by cameras. They were all dressed up like always before they started filming. Jeongin didn't even know which YouTube channel they were filming for at the moment. They had shot so many videos in the past month.
Jeongin sighed. Maybe he should calm down. Bang Chan looked okay. He seemed to be doing just fine, so why was he worried? Yes, he had lost a little weight, but maybe he was just stressed? Jeongin turned his head. As soon as he took his eyes off Bang Chan something happened. Jeongin's eyes settled on Felix. Felix had turned completely sideways. His eyes were stuck on something. He looked just like a hunting dog that had spotted a pray. Jeongin raised an eyebrow. What exactly was Felix looking at?
Jeongin began to move his own eyes along Felix's gaze. The problem was that Jeongin was sitting behind him. Then his eyes fell on Bang Chan. At first he didn't understand what Felix was looking at. Then he felt his heart drop. His eyes slowly widened. Something dark and red dripped from Bang Chan's nose. There wasn't much of it, but it was noticeable. Jeongin shifted his gaze back to Felix. Felix had narrowed his eyes and he had furrowed his brow. Jeongin finally decided to do something. He nudged Minho who was sitting next to him. Minho didn't react. He nudged him again. Minho pushed him back a bit, thinking that the maknae just wanted to annoy him.
Jeongin snorted irritably and nudged Minho properly. Minho turned his head angrily and glared at Jeongin. Normally, Jeongin would have been frightened by his menacing gaze, but not now. Jeongin gently pointed his index finger at Bang Chan, who was sitting a little further in front. Minho turned to look at Bang Chan, but couldn't see well enough to understand what Jeongin meant. Fortunately, Jeongin didn't have to explain the situation.
“Hyung, you're bleeding,” Hyunjin said so loudly that the quiet filming set got even quieter. Now everyone looked at Bang Chan who was confused. He raised an eyebrow and gently brought his palm up and touched his nose. That was a big, no it was a HUGE mistake.
Everything happened so fast that no one had time to react. Bang Chan yelped forward. He coughed and a pile of lumpy thick blood flew out. Bang Chan tried to stop the bleeding with his hands, but it was no use. Now his hands, sleeves and the chest of his shirt were stained with blood. His chin was now dark red. His nose had bled so much it looked like someone had been murdered on the set.
Everyone was so shocked that no one moved.
Bang Chan jumped up holding his nose. This isn't the first time Bang Chan has had a nose bleed on camera. In fact, this first happened during their first debut days years ago. Bang Chan has always had problems with his nose, but this is the worst thing that has happened so far.
Bang Chan turned to look at his members in shock with wide eyes. Now some had also started to rise up. Changbin was the first. He had been sitting on the other side of Bang Chan, meaning he had been the furthest in the front row. He brought a hand to his leader's cheeks to steady his shaking face.
“Hyung,” Changbin gasped. His voice was full of concern.
Changbin often joked with Bang Chan. He often liked to tease and annoy Bang Chan, but he really saw Bang Chan as his most important idol. He had always looked up to Bang Chan and was always willing to do anything for him. That's how loyal he was. He was like Bang Chan's right hand. He was like his guard dog.
Felix was the next to reach Bang Chan. He had run from his place to the older to better see what had happened.
“Chris? What happened?”, he asked in alaerted English.
Something clicked inside Bang Chan. He brushed Changbin's now blood stained hands away from his face "I- I'm fine." His voice was painfully raspy.
Changbin turned towards the speechless staff members and cameramen" cut the cameras! Now!" His voice was so loud and sharp that it startled everyone. One of the staff members started running, maybe to get help? At least that's what Jeongin really hoped. He felt so helpless.
Felix tried to touch Bang Chan, but Bang Chan slapped his hand away. He was like a frightened animal. Was he… Scared? Jeongin tilted his head. He has never seen Bang Chan truly this scared. It was a sight he never imagined he would see.
"I'm alright! I'm alright..! I-”, Bang Chan backed away from the others in panic and tripped over the camera cord.
He flew to his butt on the floor. Now the rest of the members had jumped up and rushed towards their injured leader. Bang Chan had gone completely pale. He cupped both hands in front of his nose. His eyes were wide open and bloodshot.
However, no one dared to touch him. They just circle around him like headless chickens.
"For fuck sake! Someone Get help!", Minho shouted angrily.
"You guys...", Jeongin stated in horror.
Everyone stopped when they realized what Jeongin had noticed.
Bang Chan pulled his hand out from under his nose, releasing a waterfall of blood onto the floor. He had brought his fingers to his left nostril. Something oozed out of it. Something thick… Bang Chan had caught it with his bloody fingertips. The more Bang Chan pulled on it, the more it continued. It resembled a black ramen noodle. It went on and on until Bang Chan was able to pull it all the way out.
Everyone looked shocked at the worm-like thing that Bang Chan had just pulled out of his nose.
“Is that… Your nasal polyps?”, Hyunjin asked so quietly that it was hard to hear his voice.
"It looks more like his entire nasal cavity," Jisung swallowed heavily.
Felix looked like he was about to burst into tears or pass out. However, he held himself together well for his hyung.
"How is that even possible?", Changbin furrowed his brow.
That was a good question. No one could answer, not even Bang Chan himself.
Bang Chan seemed to have finally regained consciousness. He started to get up, but it was much harder than he had expected.
"Hey! Don't, hyung! Sit down, you're hurt,” Felix began to panic. He grabbed Bang Chan by the shoulders and tried to make him sit down.
Bang Chan was much stronger than him, even though he was clearly hurt, and easily pushed the younger Aussie's hands out of his way.
"I said I'm fine," Bang Chan snapped.
Bang Chan never snapped at Felix. Something was seriously wrong.
"I'm serious! Sit down!", Felix bit his lip.
Changbin grabbed Bang Chan's shoulders and pushed him back down “sit.”
"The ambulance is coming!" shouted the same staff member, holding the phone who had run out of the room earlier.
Jeongin let out a sigh of relief.
However, Bang Chan clearly disagreed. He shook his head so that blood splattered around” no, no, no, no… I refuse to go to the hospital..!”
“Hyung, stop! You'll only hurt yourself worse if you move that much," Hyunjin whined.
Jeongin felt the world slow down. His eyes landed on Bang Chan. They looked at each other. At that moment, Jeongin felt something. Something he hasn't felt before. Did you know this would happen Channie-hyung? Did he know Jeongin had been watching him all this time? Did he know something was wrong? No… But... Then why hadn't he done anything about it? Bang Chan knew that he knew. It felt like a Matix glitch. It felt like something straight out of a movie. Bang Chan's brown eyes were begging him. They were filled with a sadness that Jeongin would never understand.
Jeongin felt thick tears well up in his eyes. Bang Chan knew that he was not well… He had known all this time… He had known that the youngest had been watching him. He knew that Jeongin had noticed. Something wasn't right. He had known it all along. Jeongin felt as if someone had stabbed him right in the heart. Why..? Why didn't he say anything?
This was serious.
Jeongin felt every muscle in his body tense. He felt a sickening sensation at the bottom of his stomach. But… If something happened to Bang Chan then… They would be finished… They never talked about it because it seemed impossible, but it was true. If something even small happened to Bang Chan, everything would fall apart. Bang Chan was the one card that held the whole deck together. He was the most important thing that kept JYP's music business together. Without him… They would have nothing… Stray Kids would be nothing. They have always taken him for granted. Because… Well… Nothing has ever happened to Bang Chan before.
Jeongin then realized that Bang Chan knew something had happened to him.
“Hyung…”, Jeongin's voice trailed off. He doesn't even know if anyone heard him. It probably didn't matter anyway.
He could hear sirens wailing in the distance.
Please…
Save him.