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It was exhilarating. That’s the best way they could describe this situation. Perhaps it was strange, calling this slow dance ‘exhilarating.’ But that truly is what it was. The feeling of their steps falling in tandem with those of Luca’s, the thumping of their heartbeat never quite returning to normal but still slowing down and that expression of his, fixated on them. As if they were all that mattered in this terrible, terrible world.
Frankly, it was enchanting.
Luca was enchanting.
The soft touch of his hand and the content expression that adorned his face only served to increase the fluttering in their stomach. If there was one thing to note, it would be how the chill of his hand starkly contrasted the warmth of their stage. They stared at him for a few moments, half admiring, half scrutinising.
The way he turned the candles on with merely a flick of his wrist and summoned the perfect melody made the scene all the more mesmerising to them.
However, he should not have been able to do that. If he was human, that is. They went ahead and asked, not feeling the need to hide their doubts. He seemed just as interested in them as they were interested in him.
Of course, he could very well not be human. After all, the first person they met here was an anima. Nephilim didn’t seem that rare either. The frigidity of his touch made them consider the possibility of him being a clockheart, too.
“I am very much human. And I very much enjoy being human.” His words shake them out of their thoughts, redirecting their attention towards the Luca standing before them.
“–, are you content with your existence right now?” They pause once more and think for a moment before replying. His expression, though it does not change much, clearly looks pleased.
“That is most excellent. I do enjoy your company.” A smile graced their lips as he continued speaking. “It is a celebration to be living, do you agree?” They were about to respond in agreement when the next words that left his mouth caught them off guard.
“Therefore, though we’ve only just met, do not stray far from me.”
The fluttering feeling in their stomach only strengthened. They swore they could feel a few of those butterflies making their way to touch their heart. The rest of the dance was warm with light sprinkles of banter. Soft whispers separated the pair into another reality, one with only each other.
No matter how much they’d like to stay in this world with him, time cannot stop its course. A river that loops back to its maw couldn’t truly be a river, after all. In any case, they supposed they could have their happy ending with him and try to befriend or romance someone else next time. Maybe even return to this dance with him a few times, considering just how giddy it made them feel.
He pulled his hands back from them and they barely registered the gentle kiss he left on the back of their hand. He looked at their confused face and answered the unspoken question.
“It is but a good luck charm. Take care, –.”
With that, he is gone.
—
They don’t care enough to question this.. Enigma further when Bugbear enters their room through the window at 1:00am. The only thing they were confused about was his modus operandi. Really, when he has those shadow powers of his, why use a window? They’re surprised about neither the joke that follows his giggle nor the way he makes himself comfortable.
“You want to know more about Bugbears, yes?” They perk up before dropping, realising just how embarrassing it is to want to know more about this bitch. They commit to a more dignified nod, akin to that of a student in front of their teacher.
He smiles, and his malice is obvious. That doesn’t particularly deter them, though, considering he always has that vague aura of evil. They’re used to it.
What he says is interesting (and, as they’d learn, very true) but what comes after is ten times more. He pushes them onto the bed and stares down, a grin on his face.
His face, his breath, his voice, his everything was like a spell. They accept, just like the second time they met him. Not that he knows it wasn’t the first.
“Come dance with me… The ballroom is especially beautiful at night, don’t you know?”
They wouldn’t know, they are a new student, after all. They’ve seen it once, in the day, though their focus was more on Luca than the room itself. Before they could think about him any further, though, they’re dragged along Bugbear’s whims once more.
The empty campus is strange. Their eyes wander to the fountain and they halfheartedly wonder to themselves whether or not it’d be all eerie like the last time they were out at this late night. That was.. That was the loop they first met Bugbear, if their memory served. And the loop before they even knew there were loops.
Of course, they couldn’t focus on the past so much when their present and their future was in front of them, leading them onwards. His hold on their hand is gentler, warmer than they’d anticipated. A part of their heart would call it more loving too. How was it even possible that so many of their thoughts were captured by him in less than a week? They didn’t even know his name yet that same giddiness they felt that day coursed through their veins as the ballroom stared back at them.
They could feel their knees tremble just slightly throughout this walk. He looked back at them for the first time as they climbed the steps. His eyes were half-lidded, they noted. His gaze was tinged with that familiar mischief but they figured it wouldn’t hurt to assume sincerity lingered within it.
“Play pretend with me, won’t you?”
Play pretend they did.
Bugbear leads the dance as they twirl, giggle and breathe. The music is fictitious and purely theirs to control. “You really want to learn more about me, don’t you?” He’s insistent on making them admit it once more. They suppose it’d be fine to indulge him for tonight, when the two of them are the only beings awake; the only beings alive.
“I do. Even if I regret it, I want to know you more.”
He questions them further, his voice never losing that teasing lilt. They find it slightly annoying how he’s so confident in his steps despite talking.
“You probably know at this point: it isn’t very good for you.”
They paused to consider it for a moment despite having thought about this nearly all the time they spent apart from him that week. Really, what were they doing? The only justification they had was the fact that the ‘time travelling’ meant risks would be worth it.
They look back up at him though, knowing that they shouldn’t tell him that. It may come to light eventually, if they manage to get past this week. They can’t let him out of your sight during the time that you do have. He slips away too easily. His eyes widen, the amusement written all over his face.
“It can’t be… Perhaps you like me?”
Their mind is blank as they try to recall the rest of the night when they return to their room. The only thing left is the incessant ticking of a clock.
After the week restarts, they know they’re not dancing with him again.
—
They felt selfish as they peeked into Luca’s notebook again.
They felt selfish as they followed the same script as the first loop again.
They felt selfish as they walked to the ballroom again.
And they feel selfish as they stare at the man who stands before them, again.
He turns around as he always does. His voice is gentle as he asks, “Here for a dance?” They’ve never had the heart to deny. So they watch as the candles flicker, once, twice, and come alive. Their heart beats faster and their stomach sinks deeper and a familiar tune begins playing that they know will be gone sooner than later. Just like him.
He outstretches his hand and they take it. His touch is warm. If not warm, then it's certainly warmer than it’ll be in a few days. Their grip on him is a little tighter than it should be. They wonder for a moment whether he notices. He’s never danced with them before. It’s okay.
They stare at him for a while, quiet. They don’t ask how, because they know very well. But then Luca opens his mouth to speak and it seems fate won’t let them have their way. “Don’t worry, I’m content with my life.” Luca hesitates for a moment before smiling. “I didn’t know you were a psychic too, —.”
“One of my many talents.” A teasing grin plays on their face. The sounds in the room are once more reduced to music and footsteps.
They spin a few times, hands entwined with his. They dip before taking the lead and spinning their partner. He seems a tad startled and they let themselves think about how cute that expression is on him.
As they continue dancing, they find themselves humming along to the music. It’s a pleasant tune. The question that follows is not.
“I wasn’t aware you knew of this song.”
“I’m a time traveller, remember? I’ve gone through this many times.”
“So you know about…”
They can only nod. He pauses to think before asking, “Why then, are you here? What do you hope to achieve?”
They don't quite have an answer to that. All of their efforts have been fruitless and if his word was anything to go by, their future efforts would be too. He’d tell them to give up. He’d tell them to give up on him.
“You’ve asked that before.”
“Something tells me you haven’t answered.”
They sigh. “I have. I’ve answered you so many times but every time you just push me to stop trying. Not that I ever did, but it hurts, you know? To see you like… That. Fading. Dying. And I’ve never been able to do a single thing about it.”
“...So you want to save me.”
“Of course.”
The rest of the dance is voiceless.
—
“So, how are things going with your pretty boy?”
They can’t be bothered to be confused when Bugbear enters their room via the window. He does it nearly once a loop now, only switching to using his shadows when he thinks they’ve gotten too comfortable with the window. He takes his seat next to them on their bed like he usually does.
“...We danced today.”
“I know. One of the first things you do with him every time, hm? Or is it the other way around– one of the first things he does with you every time?”
“It doesn’t really matter. Anyway, I ended up stepping on his toes. Twice. He was fine with it but–” they were rudely cut off by him laughing. “Shut up, it’s like one in the morning. And in my defence, he moved differently this time!” They go to flick his forehead for good measure but he dodges in time. Bastard.
He stands up and extends his hand towards them. They only look at him with questioning eyes. “I’m not up to something all the time, you know? Maybe I just want to take my best friend’s mind off of the horrors with a dance. Ever considered that, hm?”
“One, you are actually up to something all the time, two, you’re not my best friend, and–” They take his hand, grinning ever so slightly, “–three, I’m only going to dance with you for practice.”
“Whatever you say.” He drags out the ‘say’ a little longer as if he doesn’t believe them. He lightly clasps a hand around one of theirs, bringing his other to their shoulder blade as if he’s some kind of gentleman performing a waltz. He smiles a little, the ends of his mouth not quite meeting his eyes. To them, it’s a blessing. A ‘real’ smile from him would need to be coaxed out by blood, death and primal fear.
The pair step once towards the door, once to the side, repeating the movements again and again in the cramped dorm.
He dips them suddenly, locking his eyes with theirs. That catlike grin remains plastered on his lips.
“What happened to never dancing with me again? Are your ideals really that lofty?”
“...You know about that?” Their voice is hesitant. He pulls them back up, starting to step rhythmically like earlier.
“I knew all about you that time, y’know? Apart from the time loop, I suppose.” He intertwines his fingers with theirs, earning an eyebrow raise from his partner.
“Stupidity is only a facet of my personality.”
“It was all I saw then, though? I wouldn’t be opposed to you falling in love with me again. You were so cute.”
They only narrow their eyes in false disdain, choosing to remain quiet. His smile widens, seemingly in some odd understanding. They sigh before saying, “No, I’m not in love with you or whatever else you’re thinking.”
“Really, now?”
Their impromptu dance at well past midnight continues with banter sprinkled throughout. They tire out eventually, watching as he slips back into the shadows in a positively gleeful mood.