Chapter 1: T: The desperation or the relief don't change the bite of the cold; to leave without meaning
Chapter Text
This was the end.
From the moment Takemichi passed out on the ground, Chifuyu knew that himself might have received a smaller dose of sedative compared to his friend… That, or Chifuyu had been drugged too many times over the last decade, when people needed him not to stand up against them but he went through it. Must have happened half the times he thought he was sick coincidentally on an important day… in any case, either he must have built up some resistance to drugs, or Kisaki intended to have him aware.
But that instant of seeing his friend fall to the ground comatose was the only moment of speculation he was allowed before himself collapsed on his knees, only held up by two guards that just appeared out of nowhere. He was roughly manhandled to another room, all the while glaring daggers at Kisaki.
From the moment Kisaki had served them those drinks in Baji’s memory, he had known.
For a second, the image of Kazutora flashed in his mind, and he felt regrets. That man who had become his friend and to whom he had promised to return Toman to its true root together… I’m sorry, I’m leaving you alone again. That drink had been a death sentence. Whether he drank it or not, even not knowing where the trick was, wouldn’t change the outcome of this meeting. So he had.
He wished Takemichi didn’t have to pay for his mistake too.
He was harshly thrusted into a chair, tightly tied up to it. The same was done to the blue eyed man next to him. When Chifuyu could finally raise his head again without the vertigo giving him nausea, he saw the blurry figure of Kisaki in front of him, eying him with some sort of disdain. To Kisaki, Chifuyu was an inconvenience, a nuisance that shouldn’t even be alive, and somehow that weak fly had managed to thwart his schemes to the point where the police even got involved, through Tachibana Naoto. And oh, Chifuyu glared back at him neutrally, without an intense feeling of satisfaction inside. He was damn proud of that.
But for now, it was worth playing dumb.
“What’s… the meaning of this, Kisaki!”
The bastard smirked. Snapped his fingers.
And Chifuyu’s eyesight snapped to the side. His internal balance swung in every direction, he felt as though he had been swapped up underwater by a violent sea wave. His focus was all over the place… It was swapped by to the front by a fist closing in his hair, forcing his head forward once more.
“Don’t make me say it, Chifuyu. You know what you did.”
Chifuyu swallowed the blood from where he accidentally bit his cheek, forcing himself to retort.
“I know a lot of things… But I can’t decipher anything from your codified remarks… Ugh!”
Kisaki kneed him in the abdomen. The only reason the chair didn’t fall back was that the guard behind him held on it strong. Chifuyu’s stomach didn’t appreciate the punch mixed with the drugs, but Chifuyu was an ex delinquent, vice-captain even, he could tank punches and remain standing all night. This wasn’t a knee from that coward Kisaki that would break him down.
“Don’t want to admit it, do you? It’s fine, I’ll help you refresh your memory.”
The guy behind him drew on his hair, holding his head up, and Kisaki signaled something too precise for Chifuyu in that moment. The next moment, he felt an agonizing hit of electricity run through his body, shocking the nerves up his neck when something cold pressed against his skin.
Not the nice kind of electricity.
“Argh!”
The shout escaped his lips without his consent.
“Truly,” he couldn’t even distinguish Kisaki with his annoying manners right now, “who else could it be but you?”
Something solid and cold hit his head, then was thrusted in his cheek. A gun.
“I should have gotten rid of you earlier, twelve years ago… at the same time as your dear captain. Was that other captain of yours in the know too?”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”
Chifuyu gasped sharply when he felt an explosion in his ankle.
He felt hot, and cold, underwater and on fire.
Had he just been shot?
Kisaki hit him again. Twice, thrice. But Chifuyu focused on breathing, as much as he could.
“Remember, a decade ago? You looked at me with such hatred in your eyes… I thought you had some sense when you attempted to stop him from going against me… But I was wrong, just like a sheep you always follow his direction don’t you… No, not a sheep. You, are a dirty rat.”
Kisaki had gotten closer, Chifuyu didn’t remember when. He grabbed his head with both hands and pulled him down, then he repeatedly bashed his knee into his face, over and over again. Chifuyu simply took it with gritted teeth, unwilling to give up even a single whimper.
Baji punched meaner than this, asshole.
Those kicks didn’t even begin to make his skin swell. Of course, Chifuyu didn’t bruise as easily as Takemichi, but he still counted it as a win, something to ridicule Kisaki over.
Everything else was being, had been taken away from him during all those years. Chifuyu had nothing else but his pride.
“So? Who’s your contact?”
“What… contact-”
Chifuyu had his silence.
The canon of the gun was whipped at his eyes, Chifuyu closed them just in time, with just enough room not to lose his eyes entirely.
“You’re lucky I don’t have a pole at hand. So?”
Chifuyu spat blood at his feet.
His right eye was met with a fist forward.
If Chifuyu could remain silent while taking Baji’s final beating… he would be defiant in the face of Kisaki’s games. He owed it to himself.
Even if there was no chance he could survive to see the moon.
The gun was tainted red at some point, in the next few hours of endless torment. Kisaki gave him to one of his followers to be cleaned. Until then, he was merciless in his methods. Chifuyu’s ankle was killing him. His face was beaten so much that blood flew to his white collar. All Chifuyu could do, through the constant ocean of pain, was to conserve his composed breathing, and blink through the nausea. It felt like an eternity, before he could see clearer once more. Not perfectly though, because he had gained a concussion in the meantime. Never once did he stop glaring neutrally.
“Who’s your accomplice? You can’t have been alone.”
“Did you lie to your friends too? Nasty.”
“I looked you through, Matsuno Chifuyu. You were always called a loner, I heard.”
“You think you can lie to me and not suffer the consequences?”
“Why are you always so stubborn? Even now, uptight as ever.”
“Who can I threaten, so that you start talking?”
“What did you reveal to him? What other hideouts? Which operations?”
“Who did you rat out?”
“I bet it’s me, heh? You hate me so much, after all.”
“Come on, say something, kitty cat!”
Chifuyu conserved his dignity, if nothing else.
Goddamn, Baji wouldn’t recognize him if he saw him today, with the neutral features Chifuyu had perfectioned over the years to hide his deep resentment. He was never like this before. He was a wild boy, never giving up, always having faith in others, wearing his emotions on his sleeve like a damned stupid mama boy. How he had changed. Where had he gone?
In the middle of everything, he did his best to disconnect himself from reality. He went back to a decade in the past, when it was only Baji, Ryusei, Chuu and Chifuyu. Better, even, just the three of them in that old classroom, even as Chifuyu reviewed Baji’s letters to Kazutora.
His eyelids moved the slightest inch as the thought floated to him again. Kazutora who was there, a fragment of the past, of Baji, when no one was. Then later, something that was only Chifuyu’s, because it wasn’t about Baji. It was about them, and what both of them brought to each other and together to this hellish world. Just a bubble of peace where Chifuyu could be Chifuyu again. Kazutora had given him that.
Where had he gone? He’d gone into that dream. A pet shop? Baji said that… -Yeah… You’d help, right? -Of course. Sounds cute. A pet shop sounds like you, you’re sure it wasn’t your dream instead? Chifuyu had gone into the daydream that one day everything would be alright, that soon he would open that shop, and be surrounded with cute fluffy balls of fur, and the smell of their messes, and kind customers. Perhaps some crying when people went to give pets for stupid reasons.
He went into a world where his only problems would be dealing with his horrible sensitivity, where his friends would tease him for the tears in his eyes. Regular problems, like how much climatization would cost this year compared to the previous one, and if it was worth changing it, whether they should paint that room in purple, or keep it in warm yellow. He imagined whoever, perhaps Draken or Mikey? Hesitating because it’s a long life engagement, to take a dog or a cat back to their home. A world where hearing Baji’s laugher would mean dying of embarrassment because everyone was out to tease him every day, and not cry of phantom pain because that laugher was but ghost sound now.
To Chifuyu, it was his fantasy. The nicest one, the warmest one. But deep inside, he always had known how this would end.
Mikey had disappeared, Draken was going to die, Mitsuya just went off on his own, Baji was already dead, Kazutora was as lonely as him, and there would never be a pet shop, never be again Draken’s motorcycle shop, never again the meetings at the shrine, never again the window open to their two apartments in that small building, never again Peke J either, nor the restaurant in the corner… Never again the sun. Chifuyu had long lost contact with Ryusei, and he couldn’t even decide if that was a regret or one of his best choices in his life. No one deserved that kind of life.
Strange.
Life was only supposed to flash in front of one’s eyes at the very end, right?
Chifuyu was immersed in memories.
This was the end.
For hours on end, he was punched and kicked, and kneed, and hit with tools, jacked with zaps of electricity. It didn’t stop. It was cold. This room was his prison, and no one would come to save him. Just like no one had saved his friends. Is this how it felt? Who… He felt cold, and lonely. But soon this would end. But not in warmth.
Chifuyu had fought to the very end, hadn’t he? He had never given up. He should take comfort in that. He may not have succeeded, but he went through it all. He did it. Time to rest?
Not yet.
Chifuyu took it. And he took it, again and again, and all he ever gave them was the neutral blank glare that was his trademark now.
Eventually, Chifuyu didn’t know how much time had passed, perhaps, the entire night had gone by in this space cut out from everything… Takemichi woke up.
Chifuyu didn’t react to his exclamations, his surprise. To Takemichi, everything might be new, but for Chifuyu, this was the conclusion of the path of a lifetime.
Takemichi was a weird guy, honestly. When they first met, he was a coward, but a brave coward. A weak boy that Chifuyu didn’t mind helping, because he could feel his honesty in every of his actions, of his expressions and words. But that had changed. Then, there was confusion. Takemichi was still Takemichi, but there was a difference. There was… a cold barrier, that separated the other boy from the rest of this world. Takemichi was his friend though, they remained close, and even though Takemichi was corrupted by this Toman just like the rest of its members that didn’t leave, except those that couldn’t leave in time… Takemichi, deep inside, preserved his childhood soul, his very own naivety somewhere deep inside, slowly ebbed away at from all that darkness. Chifuyu had done his best to protect him too. But he failed.
Today too, Takemichi had acted weird. Like he’d just arrived in a new era, like some kind of tourist visiting someone else’s life. It had almost made Chifuyu laugh. What the heck. He acted just like he did twelve years ago, when they first met. It’s… There was something unnatural about it. Something that gave some hope to Chifuyu again.
No hope to survive, no.
Kazutora was out there. And Takemichi was here too, whatever it was that brought him back. Even if Takemichi died today, Chifuyu felt like there was something being born again, something that he needed to nurture, even in those last hours of existence.
Chifuyu stared at Kisaki, firm. Deeply anchored to his own roots, never faltering.
Finally. Kisaki was going to finish this farce. And Chifuyu would face him without another regret.
“Matsuno Chifuyu. You’re quite the irritating man. You’ve been taking jabs at me, never forgetting what happened twelve years ago,” he began his speech.
Kisaki had had enough of not extracting any confession from Chifuyu. He was confirming his own information to both his prisoners, it was his conclusion that, in the end, he didn’t need to prove.
This was a goodbye speech. Chifuyu almost laughed in sarcasm. It was a blast, he thought, that he’d somehow, without trying, grew on Kisaki enough to deserve a farewell lecture. Like he was some kind of rival.
Yeah, no. That was all wrong. It was Kisaki’s last attempt to demean him into nothing. For all the trouble he had given him over the years.
Get your closure, Kisaki. My legacy will live.
“Is this revenge for Baji Keisuke?”
“Huh?”
Now Takemichi was beginning to understand who was the spy. The traitor.
Just like Chifuyu thought earlier. He looked surprised, but not betrayed. Like a lost child, who didn’t know what they were doing here.
Kisaki kicked him again, and once more, again, violently, no one to hold the chair anymore behind him. Chifuyu was too tired to hold back his grunt.
“Stop it, Kisaki!”
“Confess already,” Kisaki ignored the other.
It was his final victory. Kisaki was looking for a win here, but he would lose. Because Chifuyu would not let himself be beaten down. Never.
“You two are the traitors, aren’t you?”
He attacked at the neck, dangerously, with no mercy.
“Damn it!” He was getting worked up. “How dare you report us to the police! It was pointless anyhow.”
But he at least had to try one more time. For Takemichi.
And maybe, also, just for the sake of yelling one more time, just like old times.
“You’re wrong, the police jumped the gun! All I wanted was for you to be driven out of Toman!”
To be honest again, shouting like they would in those fights.
“How long have you been chasing Baji’s delusions? What a small minded bastard you are.”
Go to hell.
“The current Toman is rotten. All I wanted was to change that.”
He wasn’t speaking to Kisaki. Kisaki wasn’t important. The key here was his friend, who didn’t deserve to die like this, least of all without understanding.
But he would understand. In the depths, the heart was the same. And Chifuyu swore he would nurture it one final time.
It was time.
“Kisaki. It’s just as I said.”
He stared up, determined. This was the end.
He would face it.
Hope my eyes will haunt your sleep.
“I’m the traitor. Takemicchi isn’t involved at all!”
He couldn’t see the slow realization in Takemichi’s eyes, caught in the stare-down that would cost him his life.
Kisaki called for the gun again.
“I’ll be the one to decide, whether or not he was involved.”
Chifuyu knew hopelessness.
“Hey, Hanagaki. This whole time, you’ve had a look on your face that says “this has nothing to do with me”,…”
“Huh?”
“Haven’t you?”
Kisaki shot again.
“Argh! My leg!!”
“I told you that Takemicchi had nothing to do with it! He doesn’t know anything!”
“Jeez,” the man had the gall to complain, from very far away, “you two are so noisy. Aren’t we all friends here?” He ignored the yells of agony and finally…
“…You freak.”
That gun went to Chifuyu’s forehead. He felt its bite, cold and solid in the nightmare of his life.
“Well then. Any last word?”
Takemichi was in pain. If Kazutora or the police couldn’t get to them in time, this would be a complete game over for him. There were other people in the room. Their final moments could not even be private. Chifuyu had known that. He had accepted it a long time ago.
But Chifuyu wasn’t looking. He was staring ahead. His goal, his idea, his everything… just up ahead. Unreachable, just there… Waiting for him. Even as Takemichi screamed in pain. To Chifuyu, his requiem was happening right here and then, in this room, hidden from all those gazes, all the ears.
Chifuyu would die, in a few seconds. He was resigned. But also resolute.
Chifuyu lived a warrior.
And he would die a warrior.
“Takemicchi.”
He couldn’t even hear himself.
But Takemichi had to listen. He had to. Thes last mark of himself in that hellish world. All he could give. All of him. It had to go somewhere!
Because this was reality.
And oh. Truly. It felt like a revelation that he had already had a thousand times before.
This was real. It felt like a nightmare… because life was a nightmare that would never end. It was a fight, that Chifuyu had taken to the bitter end.
Chifuyu had lost.
“Takemicchi!”
Now. Now. It was time, finally, now. The last notes of his symphony.
“Listen to me… Takemicchi. These are my last words.”
Only his breath sounded. It was all he could hear.
Time to grieve the lost.
“Lots of stuff happened these last twelve years. Mikey-kun disappeared. Draken was given the death penalty… Before we even noticed, our hands were stained in the filthy things we were doing. We’ve made so many mistakes.”
So many. So many regrets.
But in between these regrets, were a thousand and one joys.
Chifuyu knew hopelessness. But hopelessness wasn't what he wanted to leave behind. Even if it was just a delusion...
Time to hope for the future.
“But the heart should remain the same!”
That was it. Chifuyu had done it.
He had made it to the end.
…
He had nothing left to add. To this world. Except perhaps a few words.
The legacy he wore, and today held up for the next one to brandish.
Chifuyu to the world, now. Just a boy. And the gone wishes of the boy. There was nothing else.
It felt so precious.
“…Take care of Baji’s wish…”
One last time.
One last time he held himself upright and stared at the living before he joined the dead.
“Take care of Toman, partner.”
Everything, I give it to you.
This was the end.
Chifuyu won.
The next moment didn’t exist.
Because…
There was no after the end. Or at least there should not be.
Chifuyu woke up.
Chapter 2: O: A life debt can't be paid back even with a heart ceasing to beat.
Summary:
Chifuyu wakes up.
Panics.
Gets himself together.
Notes:
just so you know, I had hymn for the weekend in mind all the while writing the first and second chapter. Don't ask me why... It just gives me the FEELS. CHIFUYU DX
EDIT: I finally had the time to finish the spin-off, and damn. It made me so happy. And sad too.
Also, I was so glad that it didn't clash with the version I'm going with in this fic. As in, it's November 16th, 2004, and Ryusei only leaves in January 2005 according to that last chapter. The only thing I got wrong was that Ryusei was still vice-cap. Didn't expect him to resign in this spectacular manner. I was surprised that it really wasn't that long of a time between Ryusei's departure and the beginning of Tokyo Revengers in August. Interesting.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chifuyu woke up.
It wasn’t grand or anything. No, it was slow, like how people woke up in the morning. At first, Chifuyu felt as though in a dream. He was lulled out of his cocoon of warmth by distant voices around him.
His mind was pleasantly blank when he opened his eyes.
He blinked sleepily. Someone was speaking.
“Ah. You’re awake. Good timing, class’ll start again soon.”
Baji waved a hand in front of his eyes. Ryusei was grinning behind him.
“Be glad I didn’t do anything to your face when you were sleeping.”
Chifuyu stared owlishly at the scene that greeted him.
He was half sprawled on his own desk. He and Baji and been reviewing a letter before Ryusei came in, judging from the mess on the desk in front of his own.
“You have to wake up. Don’t you have math just after? Better wake up. Might as well be on your way now, I don’t think we can accomplish anything much in the remaining time.”
Chifuyu stared blankly. Blinking a bit. He opened his mouth…
“This is my classroom though?”
Baji frowned, looking for all the world like he was furious when he was only confused. Ryusei was almost laughing at him. Almost.
“Uh? That can’t be right…”
“Nah,” Ryusei helped him out, “for one you’re the one who came to see him, Baji. About grades. We’ve been here for an hour and a half, it’s not long enough to forget where you are…”
“I don’t remember that.”
“I know, you were busy ranting about that mystery show you like.”
“Not my fault Chifuyu couldn’t bother to watch the last episode.”
“In any case, that’s what happened. So Chifuyu, we’ll move out now… Chifuyu?”
Both boys turned to him.
It took Chifuyu a few seconds to understand they were waiting for him to reply.
“Uh. Yeah?”
“Just thinking you were awfully quiet since earlier. Are you okay?”
“Did you eat too much or something?”
For a moment, Chifuyu didn’t know what to answer. At some point, he even forgot he had to answer. But the words eventually came to him.
“Dunno. I’m not Peke J.”
“He doesn’t eat too much.”
“He does when you give him extra treats…” Chifuyu mumbled, then to himself. “Maybe I’m still dreaming.”
Ryusei stared at him with a weirded out look. Baji just frowned, then shrugged.
“If you say so. Don’t sleep in class, education’s important. Let’s go, Ryusei.”
“Chifuyu, are you sure you’re alright, you just reproached something to Baji-”
“Ryusei, stop being an idiot and get over here.”
Just like that, both boys were gone. The ring announced the beginning of afternoon class. And Chifuyu was left to stare, devoid of thoughts.
The ring and the classroom brought back memories. This was his classroom, a long time ago. Now. It was just.
A long time ago, there had been two friends that he adored. Two friends that had left his classroom in the present. These two were from the past… the present…
They just were.
Something was wrong.
Chifuyu prepared his notebook and pens on autopilot. But the moment he put ink on the paper, a vision flashed in front of his eyes, halting his movements.
A letter.
Then, as though it had always been here, just waiting for Chifuyu to think about it, everything else came in while he stared down at his desk, neutrally.
The event of the festival, Draken almost dying. Kazutora was out of juvie, Baji got kicked out of formal meetings. Then, Baji left. Valhalla. Baji brought him to the abandoned arcade and beat him to an inch of his life. Meeting Takemichi, collecting informations and planning. Bloody Halloween. Unable to hit Baji, Chifuyu couldn’t even to save a life. The knife. Blood. Mikey killing Kazutora… almost. The suicide. Brave Takemichi, admiration. Wanting to quit. The first division. Appointing a new leader. His boiling resentment toward Kisaki.
Then came other things.
Baji’s bike. Takemichi coming from the future. The crybaby hero. Mizo Mid. They’re so stupid. Chifuyu wasn’t used to being the most intelligent one in the bunch. The Shiba. The truce. Kisaki and Takemichi teaming up. Getting beaten and tied up. Hakkai killed Taiju. No, Yuzuha killed him. Actually, neither of them did, Mikey came in just in time. Mitsuya. Inui and Kokonoi. The abuser Taiju. Merry Christmas. The second Babu. Not only that, but Tenjiku. Smiley, Angry, the Haitani Brothers. Hakkai. Kakucho against Takemichi. Always getting more beaten up, even though he was strong. Helping his friends. Emma’s death. Kisaki’s death. Toman disbanded. Brahman. Senju. Kazutora again, somewhere in there. The fight. Draken’s death…? Tokyo Manji Gang. Blaming Takemichi. Another fight. The final one.
His friends, dead, or beaten up, passed out, disappeared, whichever. Killing each other. One had a sword in the stomach.
But it wasn’t all. All of this came to him as though lived in another life. It happened… it did. But it was as though his memory had been rewritten. Because he didn’t remember most of this in his first memories. Only bits and pieces, that were similar. No. What came to the forefront of his mind was this.
Living after Baji’s death. The curse acting up. Taiju killed, Black Dragons joining Toman. Tenjiku, fights, defeats or wins it didn’t matter. In the end, there was only Toman, controlled by strangers. Mikey, consumed by grief and the curse, for Draken had been taken away from him, condemned to die on death row. Because of Kisaki. And all this time, through the corruption of Tokyo Manji, going from gang to criminal organization, Chifuyu had never stopped fighting. He saw blood. The killings, murders, the drugs, the hostage situations, the dirty money, he saw it all. He saw Tachibana’s death. He did things too. He killed, too. He watched people getting tortured. Because this had been his responsibility, as an original member of Toman who had failed to save it. Twelve years of a silent hell, where he could do nothing. Nearly nothing. Kazutora, meeting with him and making friends with the only one that still had a good heart. What a reversal. But Chifuyu hadn’t wanted Kazutora to get too involved either. Just like Ryusei who hadn’t been here. Chifuyu had been very careful handling the contact of people from Toman that Kisaki had not known of. Not drawing attention. That also meant remaining alone.
The school day was long since finished when came to his mind the images that he had banned from it until now. His own death. The torture, the pain. The bullet. The desperation that had rung through him in that single instant. A requiem that had been silenced away.
He had felt of one mind, back then, but there had been an inherent conflict to that last day.
Matsuno Chifuyu, twenty five, right hand of a criminal organization’s top manager and spy, had been tortured for information, and to the very end, he hadn’t wanted to die. But on another hand… Chifuyu had been relieved to finally be put to rest. Even hell was better than this.
At least, hell was just.
Enough with poetry, though. It had been nothing poetic, in truth.
It was blood and gore.
Chifuyu was used to it. He had had twelve years to realize that this was how his life would conclude. He had bathed in blood for more than a decade. Nothing could change that.
Even now, as Chifuyu understood he was back in his twelve year old body, nothing could change who he was and what he had done in this life. Even if he didn’t understand why he was there, or how he could remember all the time junctions his partner had altered, he was there now, with all his demons and memories, with his perfect poker face instinctively in place on his face. For no other reason that he had been doing this half of his life.
However… while his soul might have been mature, no one could stay entirely neutral faced with their own gruesome torture and death.
So what about his twelve year old brain?
Chifuyu stopped walking.
Baji and Ryusei had been walking ahead. When they realized he wasn’t following them anymore, they turned to check up on him.
“Chifuyu? Why are ya lagging behind? Come on!”
Chifuyu, in that moment, ignored them. Finally, his brain was catching up to him. Saying it didn’t make sense. It couldn’t hold so much in, so many years, so many deaths, how were these two even here with him, it didn’t make sense at all.
But worst of all, it was scarred by Chifuyu’s last memories, now floating up in front of his eyes, as though he was still there, tied to a chair, kicked and punched and hit with whatever, head swimming with the effect of the drugs and the concussion, a bullet under his skin, oh god.
Chifuyu brought a hand in front of his eyes. It was shaking.
“Chifuyu?”
He stared at it uncomprehendingly. The quivering agitated the tip of his fingers, going back from his wrist to his shoulder, driving down to the weakness in his knees. Chifuyu only blinked.
A wave of nausea assaulted him, and he suddenly felt his balance slipped.
“Chifuyu!” he heard Baji shout at him when his knees knocked against the ground, his bag falling off his shoulder when he used his other hand to press against the ground.
It was trembling. Harshly now, more and more. He was sweating a lot, he felt wet everywhere. Hot. Too warm. All his body was agitated with shakes that only made his stomach worse. He felt like throwing up. He pressed his palm against his mouth when the first heave came up his throat.
Someone was kneeling next to him. He could see a part of their knees in his restrained vision. He felt so sick, he wasn’t sure how long he could hold on his knees and hands before all his members collapsed to the ground like a broken doll. Thankfully, someone came behind him to stabilize him as he retched.
It triggered something. The feeling of a man behind the chair, holding it firmly. A fist in his hair. Chifuyu flinched violently at the grip on his arms, struggling against it.
“Chifuyu! Chifuyu it’s just me!” there was a voice far away, behind him, danger, “Stop fighting me, I’m just helping you!”
“C’mon, let it out,” a deep voice said in front of him.
The nausea was too strong. Chifuyu threw up. He heaved for a long time, so much so that he could feel his lungs burning from lack of air. He forced himself to breath in, but the cold and too filling sensation only made him sicker, even though he had nothing to vomit anymore.
“Breath slowly. Hey Chifuyu. Ryusei’s holding you up, you won’t fall, alright?”
Chifuyu recognized the voice. It was Baji. Baji was in kneeling in front of him, with a hand on his shoulder, talking to him gently. But that was impossible. Baji was dead, wasn’t he? He had died in Chifuyu’s arms. Chifuyu didn’t even remember the sound of his voice. How could he know this was Baji? He couldn’t even see him.
Chifuyu remembered. Back when Toman started to feel like a dangerous snake pit, he had reunited all his pictures of the past on one computer and had looked at them for a very long time. Was it worth the risk to keep them, when a too visible memento might make his suspicious to Kisaki? He had told himself that no, it wasn’t strange. Kisaki knew that Chifuyu had held Baji in high esteem, that they were friends even. It wasn’t weird to have a few photos on his computer or in his phone. But he remembered changing his screen pictures. Having Baji, him and Ryusei on it was too revealing. He had changed it to his cat. And after that, Takemichi and him, since they were such great friends. No surprise there for others. In the same way, he had been careful not to let any incriminating piece of information linger in his phone. But at the very least, he’d told himself, he hadn’t forgotten what Baji looked like. Nor Ryusei. Where they had lived, how they had acted. He had not forgotten. But along the ride, some things had dulled, faded away. Only the essential had remained.
Chifuyu was ashamed to say that sometimes, their voices slipped away from him.
Those days, he felt like he was all alone.
They were with him. Here. But Baji was dead. God, Chifuyu was dead. What kind of curse had actually befallen Mikey? That each of the persons he knew had to go back in time at one point or another to witness their shitshow of a life all over again? With how messed up the curse and time-leap were, Chifuyu wouldn’t even be surprised!
Chifuyu almost closed his eyes, but some force inside him kept them open. He couldn’t fall asleep, or it’d be the end. Huh? What was that? No. He wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t tied to that chair, he wasn’t beaten and tortured next to Takemichi. He didn’t need to keep his eyes open, or to keep silent.
Then why did it feel like he had never left the place?
Maybe he was right. This was a dream. When the dream would end, would he die or was he actually still alive, waiting for the next session?
Chifuyu remembered the first person he killed.
He threw up again.
No. No, no, no, no, no… No! He had to keep calm. Matsuno Chifuyu wasn’t weak. He was a part of the proud Toman. The one led by Mikey, the legend amidst delinquents, flying up to a new era. The Toman whose first division captain was the strong willed Baji Keisuke, who could down half a hundred men while bleeding out from a stab wound. The Toman he admired.
It didn’t matter what he was. Vice-captain, right hand or no one important, it didn’t matter: what mattered was that Chifuyu had promised to put his life on the line to save others, and to help his friends. And he had done that. The most he could. And somehow, even though he hadn’t believed it possible, Chifuyu was still standing! A life debt couldn’t be paid back even with a heart ceasing to beat. Chifuyu had made Baji… then later Takemichi, his life. He would do everything for his friends. Even, as it happened, kill people and getting killed himself. But right now, he was the one worrying his friends.
Get a grip, Matsuno Chifuyu!
Chifuyu clenched his feet and closed his eyes. He forced his stomach to untense. Relaxed his legs. He breathed in, slowly and deeply, even though his body was begging him for more air, evermore air. He ignored it. He held his breath a couple heartbeats.
He exhaled, harshly.
Now. He could feel his body shaking. That was fine. It would pass. He couldn’t stand up on his own. But Ryusei was behind him, he would not let him fall. Baji had said so. His vision was blurry when he opened his eyes. But that was only because sweat had made its way down to his eyelashes. He couldn’t hear much. He needed a few more breaths.
Chifuyu repeated the process. He counted to himself, eight beats. He enounced the things he could touch. Ryusei. Baji. The ground. The sweat. His clothes. What he could smell. Taste.
Slowly, his ears stopped buzzing over the sound of his own breaths. He could hear them, now, the voices again. Or rather, Baji and Ryusei’s voices. Their words.
“…on, come on, what do I do here?”
“Shut the hell up and focus. He’ll answer when he can.”
Ryusei was patting his back.
“…Baji…-san?”
He could see a movement above his head.
“Chifuyu! Don’t talk yet, that was violent.”
When he tried to apply pressure to the ground, Chifuyu almost felt faint again. Ryusei immediately held him up.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he reassured them breathily. “You don’t need to do that.”
“Fine my foot.”
“You should have told us you were sick,” came Ryusei’s uncharacteristically gentle voice.
Chifuyu shook his head, then winced. Not a good idea.
“I… I wasn’t. Sick. I was fine. I don’t know where this came from, I’m sorry.”
He knew. But it wasn’t like he could tell them now, or was it?
“Let me sit up.”
Ryusei hesitated. He seemed to share a glance with Baji in front of Chifuyu, then the hold on his arms carefully receded. Chifuyu sat on his knees, straightening while holding onto Baji’s arm.
“Don’t be sorry, idiot,” said the white haired boy. “It happens.”
“Maybe you ate something bad.”
“Maybe.”
“I really think you got sick. You seemed very tired at lunch break. Let’s get you home, alright?”
“You’re so considerate, today…” Chifuyu chuckled.
“Well, yeah,” Ryusei helped him stand. “Who will I bicker with tomorrow if you’re not better?”
“Asshole.”
“I’m a pretty asshole. And you like me.”
Chifuyu rasped out a laugh. Damn. That was true. Chifuyu had missed Ryusei.
God, they were alive. With him. He felt as though in a dream. Honestly, if Chifuyu had to die the moment he fell asleep, he would die happy. This was all he ever asked for. To have them, to have those days back.
Chifuyu felt like his mind had become a broken record.
“Don’t fall asleep just yet, moron,” Baji reprimanded him as they walked. “You’ve got to eat something when you’re home.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know… Mama might know though. I’ll ask her.”
When they arrived to the door of his apartment, Chifuyu weakly pushed Ryusei away.
“Wow! Careful.”
“I can stand.”
“Come on man, don’t be stubborn. You look like death warmed over.”
The temptation was great, but Chifuyu did not laugh.
“My mom’s gonna worry if she sees me sprawled on my friend’s shoulder when I haven’t gotten in a fight.”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow, one saying ‘she might be right you know’, but Chifuyu ignored him. He took out his keys, unlocked the door and entered. For the time it took to get his shoes off, his two friends had slipped him as well.
“Seriously?”
“Did you think I’d leave you like that, stupid. You’re gonna fall over and hit your head against the furniture of your own kitchen if we leave you alone.”
“Baji, don’t suggest to cook, please,” Ryusei begged. “I’ll do it.”
“You got a problem with my cooking, bastard?!”
Chifuyu left them in the entrance, not having the strength to stay behind to hear them argue or worse, join in. Of course, anything that Baji-san cooked was fine, because everything that Baji-san did was formidable, especially since he had been dead for a decade, but if Ryusei wanted to cook instead, Chifuyu saw no problem.
He went by his mother’s room, in which the woman was… not quite sleeping.
“I’m home,” he told her. “And I brought friends. They want to cook.”
“…Yeah… Yeah! They can. Tell them thanks for me please?”
“Hard day for everyone today huh?”
He heard a muffled up answer, but didn’t linger on it. He went to his room, put himself in bed, and fell asleep without a care. Anything that needed his brain, might it be time travel or what he would say to Baji and Ryusei, or anything else… It could wait for the next day.
Notes:
Chifuyu: my soul family is alive what do I do and how do I react. Oh, I know.
Chifuyu: *goes to sleep*
Chapter 3: H: What is Friendship?
Summary:
Baji and Ryusei talk through the aftermath.
Deep topics come up, helping recenter more than one boy without their knowledge.
It's a nice night.
Notes:
Me: *throw Baji exterior point of view at you* Here, have some awkward Baji!!! *sparkles*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“How’s Chifuyu?” asked Ryusei as soon as he saw Keisuke come back from the other boy’s room.
“Knocked out cold.”
Ryusei hummed, waiting for the water to boil.
“Shouldn’t we wake him up? It’s not good sleeping with an empty stomach.”
“Nah, let him rest for now. I’ll wake him when the food’s actually on the table.”
Keisuke sighed as he went to sit in the living room.
“I feel kinda tired too.”
“You, have no excuse.”
Both of them cracked a smile.
But Keisuke wasn’t lying. He really was tired. Seeing Chifuyu stop and collapse just like that for no apparent reason… it had been terrifying, admittedly.
It had been an unusual walk home. When the three of them met up at the end of the school day, Chifuyu had been suspiciously quiet. Even his steps were silenced, Keisuke now remembered. He didn’t skip up to them with his usual bright broad smile, or immediately go to roast Ryusei for his arrogant behavior. It had weirded Keisuke out some, but it hadn’t seemed noteworthy enough to warrant a reaction just then. Even as Chifuyu remained a couple feet behind them during the entire trip, he hadn’t minded.
Chifuyu hadn’t been his friend all that long, compared to the Toman founders for example. Heck if they had known each other for an entire school year. Keisuke still liked to think that they were friends, even if he had been reluctant to trust at first. It was a great chemistry between the two of them, as though they had been friends forever or some shit like that. Chifuyu was easy, so easy to make friends with. Except whatever like-dislike he had with Ryusei, but that’s only because Ryusei liked to tease people, and Chifuyu especially. Chifuyu was fun to tease. Keisuke could see the three of them were great friends. Some time ago, a little voice in his head had spoken up, whispering that it was going to end just as badly as before, but it had been shut off by all the fun they’d had.
So yeah. Chifuyu was a weird guy, but he was inspiring. And they were close friends. But Keisuke wasn’t an idiot. He knew one couldn’t known everything about someone else in only a year or two. It would be stupid to think he knew what Chifuyu’s limits were, or that he knew what every of his demeanors meant.
Keisuke shouldn’t be feeling guilty that he hadn’t noticed the difference. He couldn’t have known. He wasn’t like Mikey, who went across the city collecting strangers or juniors and getting to know them all personally. Baji wasn’t a people person, not in the civilized sense. He didn’t know every single one of his guys as well as he knew Kazutora, or even Ryusei and Chifuyu, and Chuu who was the vice-captain before Ryusei came along.
But perhaps before Chifuyu was one of his guys, he was his neighbor and friend. Maybe that would explain the feeling inside his chest.
He wished he had known a bit more. But all that he knew about Chifuyu had been offered on a silver platter by the boy himself, so he didn’t really know how to go about it.
“It was scary, wasn’t it?”
“Hum?”
Keisuke looked up to see Ryusei, mixing something up on the side, further away from the pot. Ryusei had a casual smile as he cooked.
“Chifuyu’s fall, I mean. Doesn’t happen often.”
“…A bit. I mean… It’s not that weird.”
“It’s fine to have had a bit of a scare, Baji. No one would reproach you your worry for your friends. Even if it’s not too weird. These kinds of things happen. I’m beating myself up a bit too, because it was obvious in hindsight. I should have said something.”
“It was?”
Ryusei nodded.
“Yeah. Like… We’ve already seen that guy take a nap in the middle of the day, and he was damn fiery when he woke up. The punches hurt, too,” Ryusei laughed as he remembered the day. “But earlier he was apathic. He wasn’t acting normally, as though he’d experienced a drop in tension. And he wasn’t listening all that much. His eyes were always staring at the same point. And he had less panache when he spoke too. So I thought, perhaps he’s not feeling well? But I left it at that. So yeah, joke’s on me.”
Keisuke thought about it. Ryusei had noticed more than he did, and interpreted it better than he did too. Somehow, that made him feel even worse.
“I didn’t see it coming,” he admitted then. “Say, Ryusei… How’d you do that?”
“What?”
“…Knowing people.”
Ryusei paused to stare at Keisuke, blinking. The longer he stared, the more embarrassed Keisuke felt. Then, he chuckled. Keisuke gritted his teeth, clicked his tongue and hissed.
“What!”
“Ah, nothing. You just got to observe, Baji! But that’s something you already do a lot.”
“Then?” What else?
Ryusei put an elbow on the worktop, resting his cheek in his palm.
“Then, you try to understand what you see. Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as it sounds. You just have to get the hang of it, you know?”
Keisuke lowered his head, deep in thoughts. He wasn’t so sure of that.
“But maybe…”
Keisuke perked up.
“What?”
Ryusei seemed to be thinking.
“You know, captain, I think you’re great at understanding people. Maybe it’s not you. In the first place, people shouldn’t expect you to know what a behavior you haven’t witnessed before means, but on top of that, I think the way Chifuyu acts with you makes it especially difficult for you to get to know him more.”
“Why?”
“Because. You’re not really the kind of people that likes to talk about deep shit. And Chifuyu’s also great at reading others… He might be adapting to you with how much he admires and respects you, do you see what I mean? That’s a great quality in a friend.”
Keisuke frowned.
“But it means that, basically,” Ryusei concluded, “that kind of person shows different things to different people. He’s very different from you. You don’t have a lot of sides, if you see what I mean.”
“Hey!” Keisuke was half offended by the last comment. “I’m a complex person, thank you very much!”
“I know that. It’s complicated… I’m not the expert in Japanese, you know? Maybe you should ask Chifuyu to explain it to you. He already helps you in maths, what’s sociology next to that… At any rate. I mean… Take me, for instance. I behave differently depending of who I talk to, but I don’t really care about what mood they’re in. If they have a problem, then they can talk to me about it. You… you don’t change your ways depending on who you meet. It’s only your mood that decides which side you’ll show on which occasion. Chifuyu… he knows social. He supports his friends a lot. So I’d say, he’s got a side for every person he interacts with.”
“That sounds schizophrenic.”
“Not really. It’s not like turning black to white, you know? It’s subtle. Take a cat. A cat can be cute, excited, bored, mocking, disdainful, proud, hungry, sleepy, asking for attention, empathic… it acts differently depending on what it feels at a certain moment. Say Chifuyu is a cat for three seconds… Oi, don’t laugh.”
Keisuke couldn’t help it. Somehow, the comparison made sense.
“Okay. So says he’s a cat… then you get to see a certain mix of sides of him. Excited, emphatic, cute… You got it. Now look at how he acts with those guys who follow him around all the time. Bored, mocking… more bored… Just joking. But well, even Chifuyu’s more sophisticated than a cat. But you haven’t seen him that way, when all he’s got to do is say three words to make everyone else in the room feel stupid. That’s cattish.”
The water started boiling. Ryusei immediately went back to the pot to lower the temperature and had the rice in it.
“In other words, and taking that example broadly… Chifuyu’s that kind of empathetic person that’s got as many sides to them as the stars you see in the sky. Because they’re complicated, you know… you’ve got a mix of the mood, the thinking, the empathy, what you feel about the person, how that person is feeling at a certain moment… that sounds exhausting for you and me, but I guess there are lots of people out there for whom it’s as natural as breathing. Which also means that, if you want to have a fairly accurate picture of someone’s personality… let me tell you that’s just impossible to known anyone perfectly… then you have to talk to other people. Or be with them. Watch interactions.”
Ryusei raised his head to the ceiling, and Keisuke felt a change of mood.
“…The important thing is, you have to involve yourself.”
Keisuke frowned. Involve… oneself.
…Admittedly, that wasn’t something Keisuke was used to do. He did observe, he did try to understand. Yet, he didn’t like pushing into other’s business. At least that’s how he felt about it.
He remembered that night, before the robbery accident, when Kazutora watched that happy family celebrate a birthday…
Should he have involved himself in that? Even though he would have been unwelcome? Would this have changed anything if he did?
…Just wishful thinking.
“That’s impossible for a guy like me.”
“Yeah. You like to solve people’s business without entering it yourself, and only if it’s obviously causing harm. That’s also not a bad quality in a friend. They just are people who are that different. I like to think that, personally, I’m somewhere in the middle between you and Chifuyu, in those terms. But heh… So the best option is still to ask him.”
“Ask?”
“Yeah. We’re all friends here? And I’m pretty sure that if you asked him anything, he would happily answer any question you have.”
Mh… Keisuke looked in the direction of Chifuyu’s room. To ask. They were friends, so it was fine? Keisuke knew he wasn’t any good at social skills but… well, the first division understood well enough. If it were Chifuyu, it could work…? Should he start asking everyone? No, that was embarrassing. But Chifuyu was a friend… so…
“Ah. Of course, sometimes the people themselves don’t know either. Identity’s strange like that~”
“Argh, fuck! Your shit’s too difficult to understand for someone like me! Make it simpler!”
“Shh!”
Well, too late. Soon enough, they heard a door creak as it was pushed open. Chifuyu appeared in the living room, looking like… well. A cat just roused from sleep. Keisuke would never get rid of that comparison now that it was in his head.
Chifuyu rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes, frowning as he came closer.
“What’s difficult?” he mumbled, sitting next to Keisuke.
Keisuke scooted over to give him a bit more space, naturally. Ryusei grinned.
“Social life.”
“Mh? Well of course. What precisely?”
“Say, Chifuyu, why don’t you explain to Baji about friends, and how to know them?”
“Ryusei, shut the fuck up!” Keisuke hissed, embarrassed.
Chifuyu was already on the case, humming as he thought.
“Well… it’s simple. You meet people. People become your friends, or they don’t. If they do, they just are… you don’t have to do anything special to become friends with people you get along with.”
He yawned.
“And if they’re your friends, then you already know enough about them to know that you like them. It’s up to you if you wanna know more. I think friendship’s instinctive. If you’re friends with someone, no matter how much you learn about them, you’ll still be their friends. And that’s why you’re their friend in the first place. You don’t need to change the way you interact with them or anything. You’re not supposed to think too much with your friends. Just like they’re just your friends, you just are. It’s not difficult.”
“Here. Drink water.”
“Thanks. Anyway… Don’t believe those people who say you need to know everything about someone to be a good friend. That’s, like, the biggest lie ever. It’s a different factor of acquaintanceship entirely.”
“So I don’t need to get involved?”
“… Involved. Go out of your way to do things for them or get to know them? I think you get involved plenty, Baji-san. Doesn’t mean it’s unnatural. You can get involved without acting involved. We’re friends. You’re in my home. I want you here. See, you’re involved.”
Keisuke blinked. That easy? It didn’t feel right.
“Oh, so you want me here too? You’re so cute…”
“…Something like that.”
Chifuyu didn’t react as usual to Ryusei’s teasing. He finished his glass of water and he lost his gaze behind the table.
“Friendship’s a process. You don’t get to force it. How it worked, how it worked, what you learned… you can only think about it in hindsight, or while it’s happening. You have no say in it. Your only choice in friendship is: do I want to be a friend? Or do I not? That’s all there is to it. You shouldn’t think too much about it. If you want to know your friends, then it will do itself eventually. Human kind is a naturally social animal, even you Baji-san, you know? Let the genetic do its work.”
Keisuke and Ryusei glanced at each other. Ryusei cracked a smile.
“That’s a strange way to think about it.”
“I dare you to say you didn’t get it. I’m not sociologist, you know?”
“Nah, you’re right. It’s simpler when you put it that way. Baji understood too.”
“Stop talking for me. Anyway… thanks, I guess.”
“You’re welcome.
Something rung behind Ryusei.
“Oh. The vegetables are ready. Just wait till the rice’s cooked…”
Ryusei busied himself in the back of the kitchen. Keisuke sighed. That had been some deep shit. It drained him even more. He stole a glance at Chifuyu. The boy seemed even more exhausted than both he and Ryusei.
“Hey. You alright?”
“Mh? Mh. I feel better. Thanks.”
Keisuke inspected him.
“But you’re pale.”
“Will get better with food, don’t worry too much. Why were you talking about friendship?”
Keisuke blinked again at that. Oh. He had kind of forgotten about the original question. How could this happen? All because of that stupid Ryusei. Keisuke was still concerned!
This was awkward.
“Yeah… about that, uhm… I’m sorry I didn’t notice. Earlier.”
“That I was ill? It’s not your fault. Even I didn’t know. You’re not a bad friend for not noticing. What would I be, then, a bad person?”
Yeah. No. That didn’t make sense. Still.
“Any idea what caused it?”
Chifuyu searched his eyes blankly for one more second before looking away.
“Maybe stress. I was thinking too much, possibly.”
He opened his mouth to say more, but ended up closing his lips without another sound, turning away. Keisuke noticed it.
“What about?”
Now it was Chifuyu who seemed awkward. Keisuke almost regretted his question. “It’s… I realized it’s not that important.”
“I still wanna know about it.”
Chifuyu was at a loss for words. At this point, Keisuke was pretty sure that Ryusei was just feigning not to hear them talk. He waited. Chifuyu fumbled for words for a few seconds, before he sighed.
“…I guess I can’t lie to you,” he mumbled as though to himself, but Keisuke still heard it. “It’s… Did it ever happen to you to… to reflect on yourself and think that, maybe, you’re not a good person?”
Chifuyu wasn’t looking at him when he said that.
Keisuke felt something spasm in him at the words.
Yes. It happened to him. Every time he thought about Shinichiro. Every time he thought about Kazutora. Keisuke wasn’t a good person, and he knew it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here. Probably.
“Yeah,” he answered, trying to sound casual. “Why? You feel like that?”
It would be surprising. But Keisuke wasn’t one to judge. Even if, to his knowledge, Chifuyu had no reason to think like this.
“Sometimes,” admitted the younger boy, very quietly. “I used to think about it a lot, actually. Before I met you. And now I’m…”
Chifuyu stopped there. Keisuke didn’t know what to say. Before meeting him? He reflected on it for an instant.
When they met, Chifuyu had helped him with his letter. Then Keisuke had kicked twenty asses to help him out in turn. That’s how the Chifuyu debacle had started.
Keisuke had never paused long enough to think about it, what it meant. What had Chifuyu seen in him that day? Saving his ass once couldn’t be that life changing, or was it?
“Since then I wondered a couple times,” added Chifuyu almost inaudibly. “Where I would be, if not for…”
Once again, he did not finish. But it wasn’t hard to guess what came next. And Keisuke didn’t understand.
Really, he didn’t. Keisuke wasn’t that great, after all. That was why Chifuyu was a weird guy, even though they were friends.
“Well,” he choked out, but it sounded like a regular awkward response, so he didn’t worry too much. “You can talk if you need. To us.”
Feeling is complicated. Keisuke didn’t like to feeling. But well. He liked his friends, so there was that. Chifuyu stared up at him with wide eyes. There were a lot of things in them, Keisuke noticed, when he began to stare back. Chifuyu inhaled, and looked away before Keisuke could make any sense of it.
“Thank you. Baji-san.”
“Mh. Don’t think about it.”
Ryusei got the message, it seemed, since he walked back to them a few seconds later with the waterless rice-full pot.
“So, any of you up to dress the table?”
“I’ll do it I guess.”
“I’ll help.”
“Nah, Chifuyu, don’t move. Baji’s a big boy, he can take care of it.”
“Don’t baby me, will you?” Chifuyu retorted bemusedly, even if his bite wasn’t back yet.
“Oh~ it smells good in here. Who cooked?”
“Matsuno-san! Good evening. We’re bothering you.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine! Anyone who makes food that smells that good is welcome in my house. As long as they’re not here to kidnap my son.”
“Did that ever happen before?” Ryusei sounded dubious.
“Ryusei, you idiot, she’s not serious-”
“Oh, you boys, you don’t know how many weirdos run around in this world.”
“Wait, it seriously happened?”
“I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you! Itadakimasu!”
The meal went by just fine, except for the kidnapper stories that only Ryusei and Chifuyu’s mother were excited about – scary shit goddamn – and the fact that it was Ryusei who cooked when Keisuke could have done even better. Well, he thought, munching on a cooked slice of green pepper. It wasn’t actually that bad.
“…Oops. I forgot to warn Mama.”
“Oh gosh! She must be so worried! Call her now, it’s no problem.”
“Hurry!”
“Yeah I got it! Stop being annoying.”
It was a nice night.
Notes:
Me when I finally knew where I was going with this: Fantastic!
Brain:... But you know...
Me: I don't want to hear you.
Brain: That might actually explains canon-
Me: it doesn't! Shush.
Brain: but you could link it back-
Me: If you say another word, I will attack you with Chifuyu angst death videos and new choices and YOU'll be the one suffering.
Brain: ....I will rise again...
Chapter 4: A: There's something written, on the video tape.
Summary:
Chifuyu took a minute for himself.
Apart from that, amidst his musings, he found out something shocking...
Chapter Text
Chifuyu didn’t know how he went through that dinner.
He felt as though he was floating, again. Perhaps it was Baji and his questions that helped him to center himself in the right way. What is friendship, how to know people? Chifuyu thought about it. How had Chifuyu lived his life? For his friends. He regretted every time he couldn’t be there for them, all the times he failed. But he remembered Takemichi’s words. Through time, people might change, but they remained the same.
Was Chifuyu the same?
Chifuyu knew. He had changed the day he met Baji. He really didn’t know where he would be without the older man. Even though he certainly would have had a more peaceful death, that was almost for sure. But with the way he had been, goalless in a world where he was surrounded by people who couldn’t understand him, and a life he felt he missed… It might have led to a dreadful outcome. Self-destruction, perhaps. He might’ve seen a single incident and decided it was worth it to take the place of that unfortunate person. Their life would always be worth more than his own anyway.
Chifuyu could see it clearly. That person he didn’t become.
When he was younger, he had taken the trauma of his father’s death and had turned it into a life goal: to put his life on the line to help others. He thought that it was the greatest way of being imaginable. But since then, Chifuyu had grown to realize this way of being was selfish. He himself had put his life in the service of others, in his vain quest to save Toman. Death had simply meant he failed. It wasn’t supposed to be a reward. Even if he felt, somewhat that… it might have been. In the end. Chifuyu’s ideals had evolved, and his way of being had changed with it. All because of that one person.
Baji Keisuke.
Chifuyu had looked back, in hindsight, Baji had taught him so much. It had triggered so many feelings in him over the years that he had never gotten to experience before. Baji Keisuke was the person who saved his life. Who gave him a purpose, in life. An opportunity to find out what he truly wanted to become.
Without Baji Keisuke, Matsuno Chifuyu wouldn’t have died at twenty six, in front of Kisaki Tetta, keeping his deepest secrets for himself. He would have lived a pointless life, or he would have died even earlier.
But that introspection was something that needed to be made also while on the road. On the path too, not simply at destination. That was what Chifuyu had thought about, in his last few hours, in his own world away from the pain. Chifuyu had thought about who Baji was for him, who he was for Baji, all throughout their friendship. It had been great. Chifuyu had learned a lot. But he also hadn’t had any need to know more, because at the end of the day, Baji was his friend, and Chifuyu had vowed his life to that friend. No more was necessary.
As long as Baji lived.
But Baji died. Chifuyu died too. And whatever happened to Ryusei.
That night, after Baji and Ryusei left his home to their own, Chifuyu had closed himself off in his room and sat in his bed, motionless, just contemplating all of this.
Now Baji was alive. Chifuyu was alive too. And Ryusei was there as well.
And Chifuyu had so much to tell them. To share with them.
So much it hurt.
“Let it out,” Baji had said earlier in the evening.
Just like that, with his voice crashing into his mind, Chifuyu broke.
His eyesight became blurry, it hurt to keep his eyes opened, it burned. The tears overflowed, falling from them to his cheek, cascading to his chin until they fell on his lap. Chifuyu cried silently, unable to stop the sorrow that came to him.
It wasn’t only sorrow. Far from that. Deep in his blood, boiling over the top of his being, it was relief that exploded in his chest, the feeling of a long since held breath that he finally let go off. It hurt. But at the same time, it was good. So good.
Chifuyu didn’t know how it was possible. It shouldn’t be possible. Something like that was extremely improbable, ninety percent of the world’s population wouldn’t believe it, never believed in it. Chifuyu had known for a while that time leap existed. He’d known, or suspected depending of the timeline. But to have it happen, to him, it was simply impossible. Chifuyu didn’t understand. It felt like the world was turning on its head. It was absurd, but it felt so right. And Chifuyu shouldn’t, he should be level-headed, scheming, keeping calm and careful to approach this unexpected and dangerous situation but Chifuyu felt so fucking grateful he could die again.
This made no sense. And Chifuyu felt like a damn broken record all over again, because since he broke down in the middle of the street just a few hours ago all he could think about was How and Thank God. On repeat.
Chifuyu let the tears flow away, for what felt like a small eternity, when he didn’t restrain his thoughts, his thanks and his prayers. When it was truly, just him and this miracle. He cried and time slowed, giving him this small reprieve in this entire mystery. And it felt good.
But all too soon, it was time to think again. Because, as Chifuyu had learned the hard way over the years, time truly waited for no one. This had been proved, again and again. Chifuyu had learned his lesson.
Chifuyu didn’t know how he came to go back in time.
All he knew were just facts, and all the theories made no sense.
Takemichi had tried his best. Eventually, Takemichi had died. Chifuyu could see it as clear as day, in that reality that he hadn’t lived but could still remember as though it was really his life. Takemichi was pierced through by a katana, one that Mikey was holding. Takemichi had taken Mikey’s hand, as if that would somehow bring him back even further down in time. Without any surprise, all that happened was that he ceased to breathe. Chifuyu had been there, just front, to see Mikey fall with the boy, hold him urgently as he was thrusted in the situation the curse put him in, and he didn’t know how to proceed.
Chifuyu’s memories stopped there. And it made no sense. Because Chifuyu did not die in that time. That sensation was very particular and he would recognize it, this was not it. To Chifuyu, it was as though time had stopped working.
Time had been rewound, distorted and re-torn apart so many times around Chifuyu’s life, that it wouldn’t surprise him if some of them had managed to escape its clutches somehow. He wouldn’t deem it likely for someone like Baji, whose story through time remained the same again and again, but Chifuyu or Mikey were different cases. So much so that it was scary. Draken too, he added idly to himself. As such, Chifuyu could be a time error. An anomaly.
But there was yet another possibility. One that involved even more time travel, and its consequences.
Through the nineteen time jumps that Takemichi had said to have experienced until his death, one thing never changed. And it was that someone else always remembered. For example, Naoto.
The fact that until then, Chifuyu had been the exact contrary, the one relay who remained in the past but received the time leaper, and who learned about these futures just like the future trigger learned the past, if only in a slightly different sense… It might even had made time itself confused.
It might have rewritten Chifuyu’s memories accordingly.
Yet. That was but a consequence. And to a consequence, there was always a cause.
“Who did it this time? Did he manage to leap again one last time?”
Chifuyu sighed.
“What kind of mess did you bring me in now, partner…”
“Chifuyu?”
The boy perked up.
“Mom? What is it?”
The woman spoke through the door.
“I found this tape in the lounge. Is it yours?”
Chifuyu frowned.
“What tape? Let me see it.”
Did Baji or Ryusei forget it here before leaving. He opened the door, glad that his face never seemed to swell either from punches or from tears. His mother gave him the footage.
Chifuyu froze upon seeing it.
“Wait, that tape…”
His eyes widened.
“Hum… What’s this? A video tape? Why’s that on the balcony?”
Chifuyu grabbed the footage. Something was written on it. Chifuyu didn’t recognize lots of the names, but the symbol of Toman he figured out.. If he remembered well, the VHS wasn’t far. Just a bit old. He had time to watch it before his mother came home.
He quickly installed the material and sat down, waiting for the rewinder to do its job.
Then… the images went in. The sound. And a familiar face.
Chifuyu was suddenly thrust into…
Yes. He remembered, now.
“Ah, right,” he smiled to his mother, “that’s mine. Thanks.”
“Rest well, alright? You look a bit pale. It’s fine if you take tomorrow’s day off.”
“I’ll see how I feel tomorrow then.”
He closed the door after wishing her good night. The smile immediately left his lips. His gaze turned steely, as he stared down at the handmade video tape.
Chifuyu remembered. He had figured it out. This was how everything started. Just the day before. The idea of sleeping had entirely deserted him now.
Remained only a newfound, grim determination. As well as the conclusion to all his earlier musings.
He had guessed right. His memory… had been rewritten.
Just not in the traditional sense.
The next day, Chifuyu didn’t go to school.
Notes:
Kudos to who can divine what actually happened :D
Chapter 5: N: The longing in his eyes.
Summary:
Ryusei and Baji visit a friend.
They end up staying the night.
Chapter Text
I need to see this through… finally get to the bottom of this.
Then, I will know the truth.
Ryusei tried to listen, he did.
Was it his fault that his natural beauty and intelligence were too high for school topics to compare to? It was too easy to understand not to be boring, and hadn’t they already seen that subject through the year before? Still, Ryusei did his best to actually listen, if not participate. However, his attention kept slipping toward a certain division captain at the second rank.
He sighed, tapping the end of his pencil against his cheek lightly, as he let himself be distracted. Again. He wasn’t looking at Baji just because he was bored, of course not. Rather…
A small crack echoed just as Ryusei focused on the teacher once more. Ryusei turned again to look, without surprise. The pencil in Baji’s hand was broken in two parts. The boy frowned at it awkwardly behind his glasses, his face said ‘I don’t know what to do with it’. Ryusei sighed, amused but mostly exasperated. This was funny at first, but wasn’t this a bit of an overreaction, honestly?
“At least it’s still usable…” Baji muttered at the end of morning classes, Ryusei seated next to him.
“You know,” dark-skinned boy drawled, “I get it that you’re a bit worried…”
“I’m not worried! That bastard stood me up on the way to school! He could fucking warn me, so I don’t spend twenty minutes waiting for him!”
Ryusei resumed as though he was never interrupted.
“… but why are you so agitated?”
Baji pinched his lips aggressively. He said with reluctance.
“It’s just weird.”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
“How weird? You never had a sick friend before?”
Baji frowned.
“Nah. All my friends are freaks of nature.”
“You’re a freak of nature too.”
Ryusei raised his head to the ceiling, cheek against his palm. In a way, Ryusei could understand what Baji meant. It was weird. Since they’d met Chifuyu, the boy was there almost every hour of the day. Ryusei didn’t know when he became used to it. It was pretty funny to see that it affected Baji too. But now that Chifuyu wasn’t there, Ryusei felt like everywhere he went was a bit too calm.
Given, Ryusei often went to quiet places to clear his mind. But there was always the knowledge of the noise, or the wait for it to come find him. Now, knowing the noise wouldn’t come, the room felt too quiet. More boring. Were the days really so empty or was it only a feeling? Ryusei sighed again.
“He grows on you, that’s for sure.”
Understatement of the year. Ryusei was pretty sure that Baji and Chifuyu were best friends at this point. Even if Baji didn’t say much.
“Ah. By the way, where are those guys who follow Chifuyu around at times? Haven’t seen them today.”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“Wow, so much care. You only worry about Chifuyu? What if I didn’t go to school either?”
“Why’s there a what-if in that question? You disappear even three days, what do you want me to do about it at this point?” Baji grumbled.
“Touché. So you worried before?”
“Nah. I’m fucking mad when you do that. You’re vice-captain, dammit, don’t disappear whenever you drink!”
“It’s ‘whenever you please’.”
“That’s what I said.”
Ryusei crossed his arms behind his neck.
“What did you expect? I share a classroom with my own captain, who happens to suffer from permanent fool mood. Who would blame me?”
“I’m not always in a fool mood, don’t be stupid.”
“True, you’ve gotten better this year. Whoever did you meet for that to happen I wonder.”
He blinked. That was a thought, actually. Since Chifuyu arrived with his natural ray of sunshine, it seemed that Baji was calmer. Coincidence? Now that he thought about it, Chifuyu had been helping Baji with his letters ever since they met, which might have been a major source of stress for the first division captain. Not forgetting, Chifuyu was actually pretty solid moral support on a daily basis.
“Well. That explains why you’re so moody today.”
He wondered if Chifuyu had changed too after meeting them.
“Uh? What are you talking about? If you don’t have any interesting shit to say you can go away, I’ve to complete my exercises.”
“Sounds like you’ll still be at it by tomorrow without anyone to help you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
That sounded quite sulky. Ryusei reflected on the words, tilting his head to the side. Then, he opened his lips in a devilish grin.
“Well then! Good luck, captain! I’ll be cheering for you in the distance. If I think about it. ‘Cause I’ll be at a friend’s tonight too, I might forget about you.”
Baji’s pencil paused before it could reach the sheet.
“A friend?” Baji inquired neutrally, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.
“Yeah! To check on him. Because you know, he was so sick yesterday and he didn’t go to school today. So I thought I’d go see him. But you already said you would be working because you didn’t want any help so…”
“I said I didn’t want your help.”
“Wow. Are you implying you’d ask for the help of a sick kid? That’s low, man…”
“Oh shut the fuck up! I’m going too anyway!”
Mission succeed.
“Really?” he played innocent even though Baji glared at him. “But don’t you have exercises? You won’t finish that in the remaining time of lunch break, you know? Are you going to ditch it?”
“It’s fine if it’s for school related reasons!”
“So you’re going to beat the pulp out of the kid in his class who was supposed to bring him homework and extort it from him? That’s even worse.”
“I’ll show you worse you snake!”
“No fighting at school!”
Ryusei escaped the classroom with a laugh.
It had always been easy to rile Baji up, if more difficult than Chifuyu. But this was a new record. Ryusei would keep it in mind.
Not half an hour later, someone familiar came to talk to him.
“Oh! You’re…” Ryusei knew that one, it was one of the little guys who kept following Chifuyu around.
“I’m Yoshida! Ryusei-kun! Do you know where Chifuyu lives? You’re friends right? I need to know.”
Ryusei smiled. Flatly. Speaking of a kid who was going to be beaten up and have homework extorted from him.
“Let me take a guess,” he said with a teasing tone. “You wanna give him what he missed today?”
“How did you know? Yes! The home teacher entrusted me with it, so I have to do it right!”
He said that as though it was just a random duty, but his features screamed how excited he was. Ryusei grimaced internally. As much as they were… uh, nice… Chifuyu would certainly not like it if four kids went to bother him at his window every morning. Baji even less.
“How about it!” he suggested with a cheerful face. “You give that to me and I’ll have it brought to him. I’m his friend after all!”
The kid’s excitement fell down.
“Oh but, huh…”
“I tell you, it’s fine! I insist! Where’s it?”
There. No extorting or beating up kids today. Both Baji and Chifuyu should thank Ryusei’s natural attractiveness and inner beauty for this.
“Thanks a lot! See you!”
He didn’t leave any time to the other to regain his composure and flew back to his classroom for afternoon class. Usually if he was bored he’d just skip, but he didn’t want to get hoarded by Chifuyu’s fanboys today so yeah. Tactical choice.
In a blink… no, that was a lie. An eternity later, the school day was finally finished. After going to exert some soft power on that kid who had the afternoon homework, whatever his name was again, Ryusei found Baji lingering around Chifuyu’s homeroom. Ryusei smirked, smelling a good joke to make.
“Oh! Baji! What a surprise, I didn’t expect to find you here!” he said with a shit eating grin.
“You… Just shut up.”
Ryusei visibly inspected Baji’s demeanor. The man couldn’t stay still. He seemed awkward, and his fists clenched in his pockets. His eyes were scanning the people around. When he turned to him, Baji showed his teeth.
“Ah? What do you want?”
“Are you perhaps… looking for someone? Or something?”
Baji was starting to stare suspiciously. Ryusei did his best to display an innocent façade as he took two folders with Chifuyu’s name labeled on it.
“Could you be looking for this?”
Baji snarled:
“You asshole! Give me that! Where’d you get it!”
“I knew it~! Come on, let’s go or I’ll leave without you!”
“Hey, wait, give that! Ryusei you bastard wait!”
Just like that, Ryusei and Baji somehow played tag until they were on the path to Chifuyu and Baji’s building. Only once in front of the door did Ryusei let Baji steal the folders. He didn’t restrain his laugher though, even if his classmate threatened him with his fists. Baji took off his glasses and undid his ponytail before ringing the door. No one answered.
“Maybe Matsuno-san’s not back yet. We finished early today.”
“Probably,” Baji gritted his teeth. “But that pain in the ass Chifuyu could at least open the door.”
“Maybe he’s sleeping.”
“I’ll go check.”
“Yeah, go- what wait? Where?”
Ryusei followed Baji to the fifth floor, where they entered Baji’s apartment. Baji stomped across the rooms to access the balcony. Then, without warning, he climbed it down.
“Wait, wait! Baji, what are you doing!”
“I’m going to his window, stupid.”
“That’s dangerous, come back up!”
Ryusei swore he could hear Baji rolling his eyes.
“If you don’t wanna come then don’t. Not my problem.”
Ryusei facepalmed. This was his captain. What did he do to deserve this crazy division.
“I’m coming, alright! He huffed, then carefully started climbing down to Chifuyu’s balcony.
Okay, so perhaps it wasn’t as scary as seeing Baji disappear down had made it up to be. Baji was at destination in just a handful of minutes, and it didn’t take much longer for Ryusei to join him. Baji, the tsundere shit, had kept his eyes on Ryusei until the dark-skinned boy put both feet on the balcony floor.
Before they could even look through the window or knock, it was opened. They both turned to stare at Chifuyu, who had just appeared with a flat look to his eyes.
“…I was going to open the door, you know.”
“Don’t care. Lemme in.”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow at his friend. Baji didn’t usually force in like that with Chifuyu, at least he hadn’t done it yet where Ryusei could see it. But Chifuyu didn’t seem surprised. He simply stared at the both of them expressionlessly, then he sighed and opened the window some more to let them both inside his room.
“Make yourself at home, I guess.”
“Gladly!” Ryusei cheered, only earning himself an eyeroll.
Chifuyu closed the door behind them with a soft exhale. Ryusei took off his shoes and straightened to take a good look at Chifuyu. He winced internally. Chifuyu was even paler than the day before. He had small bags under his eyes, his features were drawn with tiredness. Sick and haggard, but also grim, Chifuyu seemed even worse than the day before. Euphemism: at least the day before Chifuyu didn’t actually look sick.
“What?”
“You look like shit,” Ryusei said honestly.
“Thanks, I try.”
Baji also glanced a bit longer at Chifuyu when he heard the exchange. He inspected the other boy with a critical eye. His hand went on top of Chifuyu’s with a grunt.
“Weren’t you supposed to be sleeping all day? What’d you do, run a marathon?”
Chifuyu’s lips quirked up, and he turned his eyes aware.
“Of course not… So? Why were you so persistent?”
He rid himself of Baji’s grip by tilting his head away and went to sit on his bed. Ryusei caught the movement of his foot silently pushing under the frame of the bed, but didn’t manage to see what. He narrowed his eyes at it, but ultimately decided it wasn’t any of his business.
“See, we wanted to do something nice for you… something of an offering so that you grace us with your presence at school again soon, I know you’re mad at this pretty boy because he teases you too much~…”
“To the point, please.”
“Wow, you didn’t even react. You’re dead on your feet aren’t you? In any case, we did something nice and brought you today’s lessons and homework!”
Chifuyu stared. He frowned, confused, for some time, before mumbling:
“I thought we were in different classes?”
Ryusei could hear Baji growl at the back of his throat, embarrassed and impatient to get it over with. Before he could give out some stupid excuse, Ryusei spoke over him, fast and flat:
"The guy who had to do it didn’t know where your home was so we happily relieved him from his task.”
“How did you know who had it though?” Chifuyu asked somewhat dubious behind his neutral look.
“Extortion.”
“I didn’t!” Ryusei protested victoriously. “Have a little faith in me! I’m not you, Baji! The boy went to ask me himself! Yoshida, he said his name was.”
“He asked you to give me my homework? Somehow I doubt that.”
“Nah. He wanted your address. Would you rather I gave it to him?”
“…You’re right. Thank you.”
Chifuyu sighed. Baji raised an eyebrow, not understanding the problem.
“Why?”
“Baji, dear captain, would you like having little ducklings screaming for Chifuyu at both your windows every morning of your life from tomorrow onward?”
The boy’s face turned into a disgusted grimace.
“I get your point.”
“There. Happy ending. So where do we put it?”
Chifuyu blinked a couple times, his eyes in the wall.
“Uh, what?”
“The homework.”
“…Oh. On the desk up front I guess.”
Baji carefully placed the two folders on it so as not to make anything else fall. It was a desk full of things like manga, origami, colored pencils and a lot of other shit like that, but for some reason, there was a clear space in the middle of it, probably for when Chifuyu worked. Ryusei took note of it anyway. He then turned back to Chifuyu, who was staring at them, but a bit through them too. He felt concern curl in his gut. Chifuyu was far too tired to entertain them further.
He placed his palm against Chifuyu’s forehead, feeling his temperature. It was a bit warm. Chifuyu closed his eyes into the touch, almost pressing on it.
“Did you take any medicine?” he questioned him gently.
“Mh? …I don’t think so.”
“Can you tell me where it is? I’ll get some for you.”
Thanks to Chifuyu’s albeit vague indications, Ryusei was able to find some vitamin and pill. He brought it back to Chifuyu with a glass of water, and Baji watched him make sure Chifuyu swallowed it and ate something too, seemingly not knowing what to do with himself.
“Do you take care about others a lot, Ryusei?” Chifuyu ended up dropping in the quiet room.
He was sleeping where he sat, seriously.
“What’s this question? Everyone knows how to do this.”
“Yeah… But you’re really caring about it.”
Ryusei’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. Chifuyu would never say that if he had been entirely awake.
“Well… Have you seen my mother? She wouldn’t know what to do if I weren’t there. When she’s drunk or sick, she can’t think about things like this for the life of her.”
And he had been friends with an abused child, too. But he didn’t mention it. It wasn’t like they didn’t know already.
“Mh… Ryusei. You’re a good person.”
“Oh god Chifuyu, if you continue complimenting me I’m going to think you actually like me,” he chuckled, genuinely embarrassed.
He had doubted it for a while, unsure, but Chifuyu really did consider him his friend. Ryusei was glad.
“Okay,” he said, standing up. “Do you feel better?”
“Mh. Yeah. A bit. Thank you, Ryusei. You too, Baji-san.”
“I did literally nothing,” grumbled the taller boy.
Ryusei smiled, retreating toward the door.
“Even if you feel more awake now, you should sleep some more. We’ll come back tomorrow if you’re still not doing well,” he said as Baji stood up to follow him, hands in his pockets.
But Chifuyu raised his head.
“Was there anything else you wanted?”
Ryusei paused, turning to meet his eyes. Strange, the boy probably couldn’t even stand right and…
Baji opened up under the earnest stare.
“Hum… Exercises…”
“Baji!” Ryusei scolded him, “you can see that he cannot tutor you right?”
“What, he asked…”
“I can do it,” Chifuyu cut in again. “I can help.”
Ryusei and Baji both turned to stare at him. Ryusei searched his eyes, feeling strange. Chifuyu wouldn’t last fifteen minutes if he tried to help Baji do homework now, he thought with a critical eye. But… there was something longing in the blue-green eyes as they met theirs.
Oh.
Ryusei combed his hair with his hand.
“Well, if you say so. You can try at least.”
Chifuyu cracked a smile when he said so.
“Come here, then, Baji-san. Show it to me.”
That was how all three of them came to be huddled up on Chifuyu’s bed, one calmly instructing or questioning the second, and the third bickering with the second about his level of failure to pass the time.
Chifuyu made a valiant effort to stay awake, Ryusei had to give it to him. But just like he predicted, about twenty minutes in, the blond’s head rested down on Baji’s shoulder.
Baji froze, not yet raising his eyes from his homework.
“Uh… Chifuyu?”
“Shh!” Ryusei motioned for him to quiet down.
Baji glanced at him, and Ryusei hinted toward the silent boy on the other side of the bed. Baji dared an eye in Chifuyu’s direction, only to find him sound asleep against his shoulder, snoring silently.
“Don’t tense,” Ryusei whispered to his friend. “Don’t wake him,” he warned too just in case.
“I wasn’t going to,” Baji murmured harshly. “He should have told if he couldn’t hold the pace.”
Ryusei smiled at the conviction-less grumbling.
“Don’t say that, Baji. I think he needed it.”
Baji frowned, uncomprehending, but Ryusei knew he had gotten the gist of it. Baji made a show of sighing, yet careful as not to move his body too much.
“What am I supposed to do now?”
“I don’t know. You decide.”
“Mn… Hey, Ryusei. Can you go close the window in my apartment?”
Ah, right. They did leave it open earlier.
“If you insist. Gimme the keys.”
Ryusei quietly got up, slipping out of the room. Before he pushed the door, he threw another glance at his two friends. Baji had only waited a few seconds before starting to write on his sheets once more. Ryusei smiled.
He left the apartment and climbed the stairs to the fifth floor. Ryoko wasn’t back yet, when he entered. He went to the balcony and closed off the window. Not wasting any time, he turned back on his feet.
“Ah!”
“Ah!”
Both Ryoko and Ryusei exclaimed in surprise as they met each other by the door.
“Who are you! Ah, Ryusei? What were you doing here? Where’s my son?”
“Baji-san! I’m sorry to intrude.”
“None of that now, just tell me. Did something happen to Keisuke?”
Ryusei felt bad for making Ryoko worry. He smiled to reassure her, denying with his hands as he went.
“It’s kind of a funny story… He’s with Chifuyu.”
“Chifuyu?”
“Yes. In Chifuyu’s room. Chifuyu fell asleep on him, so he’s stuck. Good news,” he added as she was staring dubiously. “He’s doing homework.”
“…That’s at least that. Will he come back for dinner?”
“I don’t think so. Sorry to have bothered you. I’ll be out of your way.”
“It’s fine. Just make sure to warn your own folks if you’re staying the night in the building.”
“Oh, I’m not, I’m not…”
Ryusei slipped away. He thought maybe it was a good thing that he fell on Ryoko as she came back from work. Who knew if Baji would have remembered to tell her where he was…
In the time he was gone, Mrs Matsuno had come back. Just ten minutes later, he found her checking on the boys in Chifuyu’s room, with a smile.
“Oh, Ryusei-kun. You’re here too. I should have known, your bag is still here.”
“Sorry to intrude.”
Chifuyu’s mother smiled, closing the door again without a sound. Ryusei decided to keep her company for a while.
“You boys are well on your way to spend the night again. Make sure you tell your parents, though.”
“I’m not staying…”
“Are you certain? I don’t see the problem. I’ll make dinner this time.”
They were both sitting in the couch, resting in the peaceful silence of the apartment. Ryusei had to admit, it felt good to simply let the mind breathe like this, in the quiet. His family had always been a bit more noisy.
“You know,” Mrs Matsuno said, surprising him. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He turned to her.
“What do you mean, Matsuno-san?”
She stretched her arms.
“You probably don’t know… Chifuyu doesn’t talk much about himself, even to me. But you might as well be his first friends.”
“I find this difficult to believe,” Ryusei tilted his head, inquiring. “He has such a sunny attitude, I was persuaded that he must have had no trouble with making friends.”
“You’d be surprised,” she laughed lightly. “He’s great at making friends. People tend to gather around him… But before you two came along, he didn’t really try to get along with anyone.”
Ryusei frowned.
That didn’t make sense with what he knew of the boy… or did it?
He pushed it aside to examine later.
“He was only ever open with his cat… and the other strays, I guess. That’s the only time of the day you’d see him smile. Not just smile, but gawk, be angry,… He was a pretty stoic kid. So seeing him like that, with you both… It makes me very happy.”
Ryusei nodded slowly.
They remained together in companionable silence for a small while longer, before Mrs Matsuno stood up.
“Now. I’ll go cook you boys something, okay?”
“Thank you. I’ll go check on them.”
Ryusei left the living room, returning inside the dark space of the room. His head was full of thoughts. He looked up.
He smiled.
Baji and Chifuyu where exactly where he had left them. Baji still sitting on the bed, focused on his exercises, not jostling Chifuyu. Seeing them, Ryusei huffed. Baji didn’t even notice Ryusei entering.
Maybe I’ll phone my mom.
Ryusei closed the door behind him, joining the other two in the bed.
When Matsuno entered the room again, with three little pots, to announce dinner ready, her gaze fell on the sight of three boys sleeping, spread on that one bed. She sighed, amused.
“Boys will be boys.”
She left the pots in the fridge.
Notes:
It's a hard day for Chifuyu. Did you notice how little we actually see him smile through the series after Baji's death? And his eyes.
Chapter 6: E: No one insult my friends.
Summary:
Chifuyu struggles with immersion, yet he can't help but stay close.
Baji learns to observe, and ask some right questions, even if he doesn't know it yet.
Notes:
finished this at two thirty in the morning
People can guess what Chifuyu is thinking about at all time in this chapter, it's implied at every word. And it's fucking sad.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chifuyu was the first to wake up. The sun wasn’t yet up, leaving his room in the darkness. He straightened, confused as to what had happened. Then, his gaze fell upon the two other boys spread in his bed.
“Oh.”
Now he remembered. The day before, Baji and Ryusei had come to visit him. They ended up staying for a while, because Chifuyu had truly fallen sick like an idiot over the previous twenty four hours, and because Chifuyu had offered to help Baji with his homework.
Chifuyu had known that was a stupid idea. What in his current appearance hinted at even a half-functional tutor? Chifuyu should have known he would fall asleep in record time. What had he been thinking, one would ask.
But seeing Baji and Ryusei snoring softly on the mattress, fully clothed and messy like the teenagers they were each supposed to be, it warmed Chifuyu’s heart. It reminded him why he had so desperately wished for them to stay.
An entire day and night. Chifuyu had spent that time immersed in memories of the past, or rather the future. His past. Memories that he had entirely made his once more, not simply a shadow at the back of his memory. Chifuyu was not simply Baji’s vice-captain and later Toman’s rat. He was also the proud fighter of the first division, who fought with all his could, to help his friends even as they fell like flies around him. Thanks to the tape, he was even able to gain insight into his other futures, that he could never remember himself, as they weren’t truly his.
It was all the information he could ask for.
It was also far too much for him.
When his friends came along, they pierced through the cloud of death and blood of the future that couldn’t stop flashing in front of his eyes, at the surface of his mind. Seeing them both alive, in front of him, it had felt like a dream all over again.
Chifuyu had needed to go back to reality. To convince himself: this wasn’t a dream. Even though Chifuyu’s analytical mind knew what was most important, his heart and soul yearned for this human contact again.
Selfishly, he had made them stay.
He felt his eyes water. Even though his features didn’t move. Couldn’t. Hadn’t in a decade. He didn’t remember how… even with Takemichi in the future. All throughout his life, Chifuyu had been reserved. Only with Baji and Ryusei during this period of his life, had he felt the need to express himself so freely… And felt the freedom to do it.
These were the best days of his life.
Chifuyu could not believe, of all the parts he could have been sent back to, or rather awaken at, this was the one.
How lucky could he possibly be?
This felt even less real than it did the day before. How was he supposed to believe it?
He forced the tears away. He had already cried enough. It was time to act.
He slipped away from the two other bodies, retrieving the tape he had hidden away under the bed when Baji and Ryusei arrived the evening before. Staring at the video tape in his hand, through the determination and the fear, he felt a great wave of gratefulness invade him. He closed his eyes, pressing the tape in his fist.
As he brought it to his forehead, he whispered, as if in a prayer.
“You guys did a great job, making this reach me. It finally found its way to me.”
He exhaled.
“Thanks, everyone.”
I won’t let you down.
He smiled. Looking to the side, he found something fallen on the floor. It was Baji’s homework. Chifuyu picked it up and read through it, sitting at the bottom of the bed. He puffed out a laugh.
“This is all wrong, Baji-san…”
When Keisuke woke up, he was alone in Chifuyu’s bed. He frowned. When had he fallen asleep? He remembered Chifuyu resting on his shoulder, and somewhere in that time Ryusei had slipped in… Whatever. There was some light outside the window. He should probably get up.
In the living room, without surprise, he was met with his two schoolmates sitting at the table next to the kitchen.
“Yo! Sleeping beauty… Sorry, Sleeping beast has finally woken up?” that was Ryusei.
“Oh come on, it’s too early for your bullshit.
“You’re lucky there’s no school tomorrow,” Chifuyu mentioned, looking awake and bored.
Keisuke frowned.
“Is it that late?”
“Not much. But if we did have school we’d be pretty late. At any rate, take this.”
Chifuyu pushed papers toward him. Keisuke, half annoyed and half curious, took hold of one of them. Only to gawk at it.
“This- that can’t be possible!”
“It’s very much possible. I spent all morning reviewing these, you know? Thankfully your answers are not too off the bat. Just reread the lesson once or twice more and you’ll be fine… Maybe.”
Keisuke smashed the homework on the table.
“I don’t accept this! Chifuyu, you’ve got to help me!”
“Hey, be nicer would you-”
“Always, Baji-san.”
“…You’re a real piece of work. Both of you are, actually.”
“Thank you Chifuyu! You’re such a great person!”
Chifuyu paused as Keisuke repeated the nigh-same words from when they first met. He smiled, amused.
“If you say so, it must be true.”
Ryusei poked his cheek.
“I was actually expecting you to squeal in happiness at the compliment…”
“Shut it, I’m not that much of a fanboy!”
“So you admit you’re a fanboy?”
“What about it?”
Keisuke looked between them. They weren’t being loud enough for the bickering to be bothering, thankfully. In fact, they were rather on the quiet side this morning. He focused on Chifuyu. His features were still a bit apathic… uh… tired, and his eyes were duller than before the sudden sickness. And his voice was subdued. However, Keisuke noticed that he was acting in a normal way again, gaining back some of his usual bite. He sounded like he would be fine in the matter of a week. Keisuke felt reassured.
“Ah, Baji-san. Do you want the jam?”
“Uh, oh, yes please.”
“Do you want me to explain the lesson right now or would you rather it be later?”
“…Ugh…”
“I thought so too.”
Ryusei was busy observing them both with attention. Keisuke didn’t know what he was thinking and he didn’t want to know. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t understand half of Ryusei’s thought process anyway. These boys were too smart for him.
Thankfully, he was still the one with the most street-smarts out of the three of them. One point in his favor.
“Mom made food yesterday for us, so if you wanna stay for lunch, you can. We just need to heat it up.”
Ryusei shrugged.
“I’m not sure for myself, but I’m pretty sure that if Baji needs to redo his homework he’ll be here for at least half a day more.”
“It’s not my fault I don’t understand that shit.”
“By the way, Chifuyu,” Ryusei ignored him as he finished his piece of bread. “Did you tell your friends that you were sick? They might be pretty worried if you didn’t call.”
Keisuke frowned. Where did that come from?
Chifuyu paused once more, thinking it over. Then he shrugged it off.
“I’m pretty sure they would have learned about it by now, if I had any.”
“You don’t have friends? I’m surprised. You’re so exciting to be around!”
Okay. What was Ryusei playing at. Since when was this important?
“Why’d I need friends when I have you?”
Keisuke almost choked on his breakfast.
“Hey,” he called Chifuyu out, “be careful what kind of bullshit you spew at the dinner table.”
“What?”
“…I agree with Baji, that was cheesy as fuck. So now we’re friends?” Ryusei ended his sentence with a hopeful note.
“Just because you’re annoying as hell doesn’t mean you ain’t my friend, dumbass.”
Keisuke blinked. Wasn’t Chifuyu’s speech until now that Ryusei was his worst enemy or rival or something? Wasn’t it their thing? He thought the boy’d been hell bent on refusing to call them friends. His memory might be playing tricks on him.
Looking at Ryusei’s expression, probably not.
“… I’m so moved right now.”
“Be moved somewhere else.”
“I was starting to worry you’d lost your mean streak.”
Chifuyu huffed with humor at the teasing.
Keisuke looked over at Ryusei who was still frowning lightly, through his easy-going smile. Then to Chifuyu who was glancing away from the other. He bit his lips. There was obviously something he was missing there.
“What’ll you do after helping Baji?”
“Mh… Catch up on the homework I guess.”
“Okay, but don’t overwork yourself. You still have that tired air, especially around the eye.”
Chifuyu’s hand spasmed around the butter knife. Otherwise, he didn’t react.
“If you say so.”
“I’m saying so. Make sure to rest today. Then, perhaps you’ll be in better shape to hang out with the boys.”
Right. It had been a bit of a while since the first division had done anything together. Except for fights, of course.
Chifuyu smiled just a bit, fleetingly.
“I’ll see what I’ll be able to do.”
Suddenly, Keisuke caught something in Chifuyu’s eyes. It was but a blink, but he thought he saw something hollow- terrifyingly so.
Keisuke turned away, glaring at the floor. Bit too far, retreat necessary. But afterward, he felt a little stupid. Why was he avoiding the other’s eyes? Reacting like that just because one friend was dead tired, he’d seen better of himself.
He guessed it had just felt private. Keisuke left private to private. Unless they asked for help, people solved their own business. Just like stupid Ryusei, even if Ryusei messed it up so bad tha Keisuke had to intervene in the end. More like Chifuyu intervened, Keisuke just got the shit knocked out of his skull- ahem.
“Baji, just by the look on your face I can say you’ve been thinking about something embarrassing~”
Oh, may the gods curse this annoying person.
“Shut the fuck up, moron!” he said standing up. “When’re you leaving, so that I can breathe in peace!”
“So mean! You just assume that I’ll be leaving? I’ll be taking the couch, thanks.”
“You’ll get bored.”
“I’ll watch TV.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake Chifuyu why ain’t you saying anything against that little shit!”
“As long as you keep the sound to a minimum. We’ll be working here.”
“Chifuyu!”
“I knew you loved me!”
“But since you’ll be staying here like a larva, you might as well do groceries. I’ll pay you back.”
“What? Are you serious? You’re just using me!”
Chifuyu turned toward the white haired boy.
“I mean… I can do it if you manage to tutor Baji-san for thirty to forty-five minutes.”
“I’ll take the groceries. Where’s the list?”
“Oi, I feel fucking insulted here!”
Fifteen minutes later, Ryusei was gone. (“But I will come back in two~”) Chifuyu and Keisuke stared at the table in silence for a couple of minutes.
Damn, Keisuke thought, how is this so awkward?
Or maybe it was just Keisuke who felt like that. Chifuyu didn’t seem all that bothered. Well, if he thought about it, Chifuyu never looked bothered except when he was speaking with Ryusei, and even then today he hadn’t been. It was definitely just Keisuke making it weird.
If it had been his home, it would have been easy to start a conversation or find something to do. But right now, he was in Chifuyu’s home, in which he really hadn’t been a lot yet, and Chifuyu was still recovering from his sudden sickness.
Chifuyu was the first to rise.
“Give me five minutes to clear the table,” he said.
“Sure. Need a help?”
“No, it’s fine. Perhaps you should take a pencil out?”
“I… kinda broke mine, yesterday.”
“It’s fine, I have a few you can use.”
Once both were ready to begin, Chifuyu read over the exercises.
“Do you know what you did wrong there?”
“Nope.”
“Thankfully it’s not too complicated. I’ll explain the principle of this function again, see if you can apply it directly.”
As he helped Keisuke with the homework, Chifuyu also used this time to read the topics his teachers had talked about while he was sick.
Keisuke liked working with Chifuyu. The boy was always some kind of excited with him – except for the days he was tired apparently – but as soon as he was tutoring him, his attitude would turn serious and focused. Which made Keisuke think that perhaps Chifuyu was only so excited around him. He didn’t really believe it, after all there was no way someone’s personality would change so much just because they admired someone else, right? Chifuyu was always full of life, and especially in fights, but there were these rare moments when he was very calm, especially when he didn’t know Keisuke was there. It weirded Keisuke out, honestly, because even then he couldn’t really imagine a Chifuyu 100% serious and logical.
Maybe he was only like that about school.
“Say,” Keisuke asked after a few exercises right. “What did you say you wanted to do as an adult?”
Chifuyu’s pencil, running down the line with impressive efficiency, froze on the paper. Keisuke couldn’t see his face as it was hidden behind the school manual. He took a long time to answer, but his tone was as casual as before.
“Why?”
“Well. I just remember you were saying something about that around the time we met.”
Chifuyu huffed.
“You mean the time I embarrassingly blocked your path on the way home, spat out my life story and asked to have my ass handed out to me?”
Keisuke couldn’t help it, he barked out a laugh.
“I think you’re exaggerating. It wasn’t that embarrassing.”
“Must be my selective memory then… so, what about then?”
“…I don’t remember well since then. But did you say he was a pilot, then or since? Is the reason you’re so focused in class because you want to follow in his footsteps?”
Chifuyu didn’t answer right away. In fact, it was so quiet for such a long time that Keisuke wondered if he should have perhaps kept his big mouth shut. But just as he was about to take back his interrogation, he heard a deep exhale. Only then did Chifuyu lower the book.
“When I was a kid, I told myself I would be just like my father when I would grow up. This included that, of course,” he explained subdued, not looking in Keisuke’s direction. “But circumstances have their way to make the choices for us. And at any rate…”
Keisuke frowned.
“What?”
Chifuyu tilted his head toward him. He closed his eyes, and grinned. He grinned a pretty sweet smile that hurt.
“I just don’t feel like a good enough person to follow his path anymore. You know?”
Keisuke’s blood turned to ice as the words registered in his mind.
What.
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He didn’t have words.
Excuse me, what?
He didn’t just hear that. He didn’t see that either. What in hell was this supposed to mean? He was obviously joking. Because he couldn’t be genuinely thinking that, right?
Chifuyu had already turned back to his lesson, his bright sweet fucking painful smile having receded into a casual one, as though everything was perfectly normal and Chifuyu hadn’t just said one of the most shocking things he’d ever said.
No way, Keisuke thought. Had Chifuyu always been like this?
Keisuke couldn’t let this slide. Not from a friend.
“And you, Baji-san, what do you think you’ll be-”
The pencil’s end broke cleanly against the paper, attracting Chifuyu’s attention.
“I don’t know.”
Chifuyu stared up at Keisuke glaring at him with dark features, uncomprehending.
“Uh. What-”
“You said I know,” Keisuke cut him. “But I don’t. So fucking explain yourself, Chifuyu.”
Chifuyu seemed speechless, simply staring at his friend with awe and something very fragile too.
Keisuke glared harder.
Chifuyu looked away hastily.
“Ah, uhm, that’s…” he searched for his words a moment, before sighing. “It’s just something that I started telling myself when I was younger. Don’t worry about it.”
“I worry. You don’t tell me what to feel about my friends, got it?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Explain, what did you mean?”
Keisuke had stood up, and Chifuyu was forced to raise his head to meet his eyes. He showed signs of discomfort. But Keisuke wouldn’t relent now.
“It’s…” Chifuyu seemingly couldn’t hold his gaze, as if he couldn’t face Keisuke, “I used to think about it from time to time, before I met you. It’s really fine. It’s… it’s not like I was going to do anything about it. The thought just crossed my mind sometimes… that it really wasn’t what he would have wanted for me.”
“And who put that idea into your head?” Keisuke would get to the bottom of this.
No friend of his could put themselves down like that without consequences.
“No one!” Chifuyu’s cry was frustrated. “I just… I really was just a hurtful person before I met you. There’s nothing more to say about it.”
It looked like a lie. Sounded like a lie. Gods above, it fucking smelled like a lie, so it was a lie. As for the words themselves, they were utter bullshit. Chifuyu had first walked into his classroom, and the first thing he’d done upon seeing him was introduce himself and teach him kanjis. And there was no way such a person was a bad one.
He didn’t know what Chifuyu was playing at, but he would make his eat back those words if it was the last thing he did that day.
“You don’t actually believe that,” he growled.
“Baji-san, it was just a thought! Just ignore it.”
Just ignore it? Ah!?
With a hand on the table, he hunched over the younger, grabbing the collar of his clothes to drag him closer.
“What’s wrong with you!”
“Baji…-san?”
Keisuke stopped. He suddenly snapped out of it, his eyes widening, as he saw Chifuyu. Looked at him, again.
Chifuyu was staring at him as though he was an entirely different person. And… there was fear in his eyes, as they stared almost through him.
Keisuke released him. Chifuyu sat back down. So did the older boy, before passing a hand before his eyes. What had he been thinking? No one insult his friends, not even themselves but… He might have taken it a bit too far.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Are you?”
Was he? Yeah, he was fine. “It’s not like I was going to do anything about it.” Okay, so maybe he wasn’t all that good. What the fuck, Chifuyu. But Keisuke had probably overreacted. Maybe.
“Yeah. Fine.”
“I’m sorry I upset you. But isn’t it something everyone thinks once in a while, though?”
“Uh?”
Now that Chifuyu said it… yeah. It was actually a pretty normal thing to reflect upon oneself and see the bad. Keisuke knew it wasn’t just him.
Then again, Chifuyu wasn’t a damn murderer. Keisuke didn’t think he had any reason to think like that.
“Like I said, Baji-san, it was just a thought I had regularly. I… didn’t really feel like such a good person, back then,” Keisuke saw Chifuyu swallow with difficulty. “At any rate, my father’s my ideal. Even if I was a perfect human being, I don’t think I’d be able to rivalize with him. So, becoming a pilot really stopped being all that great at one point. Aren’t cats cuter anyway?”
“Cuter? Cats?” What was Chifuyu even talking about now, Keisuke thought finally relaxing… that made more sense.
“I’ve been thinking of a job in a pet shop,” Chifuyu admitted quietly.
Keisuke looked at him for a while, in silence. Before Chifuyu could speak again though, he barked out a loud laugh.
“What was that, Chifuyu? A job in a pet shop? Don’t make me laugh.”
“Uh?” Chifuyu looked up confused.
“Go big or go home! You might as well own one! Wouldn’t that be more exciting.”
It was Chifuyu’s turn to stare. But very soon, Chifuyu smiled back at Keisuke.
“Yeah… you’re right. Might as well.”
“Good. But it’s funny that you were thinking about a pet shop too… Just make sure to leave a veterinary job open for me there once you have it.”
Chifuyu huffed.
“That’s an interesting idea. But Baji-san, first you would have to get better at physics, and you haven’t even finished your homework yet. Are you sure you can do it!”
“Ah! I got distracted!”
“That’s your own fault.”
They started bickering stupidly, like two teenagers their age again. It was sweet and cute, and finally the awkwardness had left. Keisuke was pretty satisfied.
On the other side of the door, the third young man sighed in silence.
Notes:
I noticed that Chifuyu does smile quite a bit in the manga and anime, but very few seem as genuine as the one he had when introducing Baji's Goki, which hurt like a bitch, or the one he had when he spoke with Takemichi, which was before Baji died.
Worse. When he doesn't have any expression, he looks fucking scary in the madness sense.
Baji tried his best.
Chapter 7: M: This is solo business.
Summary:
Ryusei worries... But there's no reason to, right?
Chifuyu is preparing something.
Chapter Text
Ryusei entered the room a few minutes later, to be safe.
He had just come back from making a few groceries on Chifuyu’s order, and as soon as he arrived, he had heard Chifuyu and Baji bickering together like big children. He had entered immediately to express his envy over their friendship while he had been working.
That was what he wanted Chifuyu to believe, anyhow.
“Hello people~! Did you miss me?”
Both boys turned to him, surprised.
“You took your fucking time.”
Chifuyu stared at him for a few seconds as he dragged the grocery bag in, before he smiled.
“Welcome back.”
“That means you missed me!”
“Shut it stupid, no one missed you.”
“Chifuyu did.”
“He didn’t.”
“You’re right, he probably just had enough of your bullshit, how many questions did you get wrong?”
“I don’t fucking allow you! And I got them all right.”
“Really? Show me, show me Chifuyu’s good work!”
Chifuyu didn’t say another word, he just gazed upon them as they bickered. After some point, he stood up.
“Thanks, Ryusei. I’m going to unpack the groceries now. Tell me if you need anything, I’ll be just there.”
“Okay.”
The rest of the day went by in a flash. When noon came around, Chifuyu heated what his mother had cooked the night before, and all of them ate together. The day was well into the afternoon when Baji and Ryusei decided to leave.
Ryusei stood up and stretched.
“I really should go home, now,” he said. “But I swear that next time, I’ll beat you.”
Chifuyu closed the chess board, with a raised eyebrow.
“Believe what you want,” he replied with a bored tone. “But I’m still waiting for you to say checks.”
“That future is not so far off, mark my words,” Ryusei winked. “But I didn’t expect Baji to put up so much fight.”
The older boy raised his head from where he was laying on the couch.
“Excuse you, as the first division captain, I’m a fucking king.”
“Street fight and strategy don’t require the same kind of smarts.”
“The results speak for themselves.”
“Baji, don’t act as though I lost to you. I wiped the floor with your king.”
“See what happens when I wipe the floor with your ass.”
Chifuyu cracked a smile.
“Take it outside if you’re going to fight.”
Ryusei glanced at him as Bajji humorously agreed. The blond seemed more relaxed now. That was a relief. But this day of rest hadn’t managed to bring the cheer back into the boy. Ryusei wasn’t all that worried, Chifuyu was still recovering. He had great expectations that by the time they needed to go back to school, Chifuyu would be all better.
“We’ll do that. Take some more rest, will you?”
“Yeah,” Chifuyu agreed easily.
Ryusei went to collect his bag and put on his coat. He ruffled Chifuyu’s hair, who only mildly protested.
“Tomorrow, Toman’s first division will be by the river, if you wanna join. Don’t come if you still feel tired.”
“Mh.”
“And I mean it,” Ryusei stressed, making Chifuyu meet his gaze earnestly. “If you need anything, you can call us any time.”
Chifuyu stared at Ryusei for a few seconds. Then, he huffed, batting the hair away from his hair.
“I’ll do that. Thank you, both of you.”
Ryusei smiled and winked.
“Well. That’s what friends are for! Come on Baji, let’s move.”
Chifuyu watched them as they left, with a neutral smile on.
He let it fall soon after the door closed. Blinking slowly, he tried to make sense of everything that had happened.
It still felt unreal, being with them like that. He could almost believe it had all been a hallucination were it not for the marks the both had left in his home, little proofs of their passage sprinkled in every room.
Chifuyu had forgotten what it was like, to have friends. To have such great friends, even. These kinds of slow moments had faded from his memory so long ago, only brought back by lightning flash stimuli.
Sometimes, it felt like there was a disconnect between him and them. Like when Baji lost his cool because Chifuyu had called himself a bad person. And that was true. Chifuyu was a bad person. Before meeting Baji… and after his death. In the changed timeline, Takemichi had saved him from going down that path, and it was because he was there that Chifuyu had someone to latch onto, someone to be a good person for. Someone to help. Baji could not understand that. If only because Chifuyu had never told him any of his shit in the past. Nor did he plan to. It wasn’t relevant.
But. Sometimes. It felt just right.
And Chifuyu didn’t know how to deal with that. With the fact that smiling to them wasn’t as complicated as it had been for most of his life. Chifuyu wasn’t used to smiling. He didn’t before. Then, he’d met Baji, he’d met Toman, and it started to tug at his soul… how inadequate he felt, when he could be so much more brave. He had grinned and smirked, the ones that gave people assurance, that gave himself confidence. The ones inspired by adrenaline and all that shit. And after Baji… even after Ryusei, actually, in his original timeline, smiling or even smirking had seemed something irrelevant. Something that could get him killed, if he expressed too much by accident. Neutral sets of expression were better, more useful, simple. Just social code. And it had been enough. But Takemichi, the good old time traveler Takemichi, had gone back in time and had inspired him so much nostalgia, such admiration and, admittedly, so much frustration sometimes, it had been hard to deal with too.
But genuine, Chifuyu didn’t do often. He could give genuine smiles, but they were somehow as sad as the ones his mother used to give him when he was younger. He could be angry, frustrated or furious, that worked, Chifuyu had always had something of a temper. He cried genuinely too… But all of this had little to nothing to do with being genuinely happy with the people that meant the world to him.
Just with one night and one day spent with these persons, Chifuyu felt like a middle schooler again. And…
“If you need anything, you can call us anytime.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
Seriously, he laughed. Why did they have to be so damn good.
“I’m sorry,” he told the silence of the apartment. “But, this is solo business.”
He went out, soon after.
Keisuke didn’t go home immediately. Instead, upon holding Ryusei’s gaze for a bit too long of a while, he made the decision to follow his vice-captain down the riverside, after having left his things off at his apartment.
For some time now, they had been walking in silence, gazes upfront. For fuck’s sake, they weren’t even going in the direction of Ryusei’s home. Keisuke flattened his lips imperceptibly. No matter how impatient he could get, he knew better than to urge Ryusei when he got like that. It wasn’t often that the younger boy turned all quiet like that. Keisuke wouldn’t like to scare him off, as absurd as it sounded.
“Say, Baji,” finally, Ryusei spoke.
Keisuke, hands in his pocket, made note of the reserved tone of the other’s voice. It was low, a bit blank too. As though Ryusei wasn’t certain he should even be speaking of this. Whatever this was.
“What.”
He didn’t expect the question that came up then.
“What was Chifuyu like, when you met him for the first time?”
Keisuke frowned, confused.
“Ah? What even is that question?”
It wasn’t like Ryusei had not met Chifuyu just a few days later. But Ryusei didn’t rouse to the words.
“Please, just humor me.”
Keisuke glanced at his companion at last, calculating. Ryusei wasn’t looking at him. His features were serious, contemplative, and maybe a little blank too, yet it couldn’t compare to Chifuyu’s particular brand of blank since his collapse. His eyes were set to the ground, even though his head was raised straight. Keisuke couldn’t divine what he was thinking.
He sighed heavily, turning to look at the running water below them, on his left. Chifuyu when they had just met, huh. Honestly, it was strange remembering those kinds of things. They might not have known each other all that long, but to Keisuke it felt like they had been friends forever, in a way. It was common not to remember the starting point of a friendship. But the day he met Chifuyu, he had had a lot of thoughts. Especially with what happened after, Keisuke could not possibly forget it.
“Chifuyu… I guess he didn’t come off as a nice one, at first.”
“No?”
Keisuke frowned, lost in thoughts.
“No. He was the one who came to talk to me first. But he was guarded. And the eyes were… offensive. That’s why I thought when I first saw him, that he was gonna be a pain in the ass.”
“And then you became friends and he changed his attitude?”
Keisuke shook his head, turning back to Ryusei.
“What? No. He kept being like that all throughout, but he helped me with my kanji. After that, he just left.”
Ryusei didn’t say anything, at first. Keisuke waited patiently for the younger man to speak. He had no idea where this line of questioning led to.
“When did his behavior change with you?”
“Same day, I guess. I don’t really know what he was doing, but apparently an entire gang came in to take their revenge on him, with weapons and stuff. He seemed in difficulty at some point so I came in to help. I mean, if that’s what his life was every day, no wonder he wasn’t nice. I called him my friend by accident and… Here we are. But I don’t get why you’re asking me about that.”
Keisuke confronted Ryusei upfront, but the other just asked him another question.
“Baji. Do you agree with Chifuyu about what he said?”
“What?”
“Being a bad person.”
Keisuke stopped walking. His gaze glared ahead, and his lips curled into a snarl.
“Ah?”
That damn Ryusei. How much had he heard? Keisuke turned to stare at Ryusei over his shoulders, where he has also ceased walking a few steps earlier.
“Ryusei… what shit are you on about now?”
Facing his aggressive captain, Ryusei held on, unmoved.
“Look. I’m not saying Chifuyu’s a bad guy.”
“Then why the fuck bring it up?”
“Chifuyu’s right. We all felt like bad guys an insane amount of time in our lives. Your history with your childhood friends, my history with mine… For others, it’s just some shitty introspection. In a way, it makes sense.”
“Well, I don’t think Chifuyu’s a bad guy. Get to the fucking point, Ryusei.”
“I’m just trying to compare. Why did Chifuyu change after meeting you… and how much, too.”
“I don’t get it, Ryusei, stop being cryptic.”
Ryusei sighed. As though Keisuke was the one being annoying here. He still hadn’t cracked a single smile of the entirety of the conversation. Keisuke gritted his teeth.
“I’m just going off what Matsuno-san told me,” Ryusei ended up replying, without answering. “It’s not something worth worrying too much upon yet, so just forget what I said. But, having been in a similar position of being… ‘saved’, by Toman, I’m all too aware problems don’t get solved just like that.”
“Toman didn’t save shit, Ryusei, don’t dramatize everything.”
Ryusei walked ahead of him, and Keisuke followed him with his eyes. Finally, as the white-haired boy turned, he smiled for the first time since they exited Chifuyu’s home. It wasn’t a very nice one.
“I think, Baji, that by now your Toman has saved dozens of lives.”
He turned away before Keisuke could react.
“See you around. Don’t worry about Chifuyu, I’m sure he was just tired and feeling melancholic. I’ll tell you if anything happens. Bye!”
“You-…”
Keisuke cut himself, irritated. He didn’t try to follow Ryusei. He passed a hand in his hair as he watched the boy slowly disappear in the distance. What even was happening with these two…
“Hope Chifuyu gets better soon. I’m tired of all this shit.”
Ryusei probably shouldn’t have talked to Baji about all of this. It would only worry their captain more than was necessary.
It was just a thought, at first, with Chifuyu in less than stellar condition acting weird, and then his mother speaking about him. But then he had surprised the conversation between Baji and he had started to think a bit more.
Judging from Chifuyu’s behaviors before and after meeting Baji, it wouldn’t be a stretch to divine Baji’s intervention had made something click in the younger’s mind. This became obvious with how loyal Chifuyu was to Baji, even going as far as to gracefully cosplay for him. In a way, it seemed that when it was about his friends, Chifuyu always knew what to do. That was a skill Ryusei could admire. But it seemed that when it was about himself, the blond had no idea what to do with himself. In any other focus, Ryusei would find it awfully funny. But that comic aspect of the boy was put in a new perspective knowing the boy never had any friend. Chifuyu was altruistic, but he focused it on his friends in a blinding way. If there wasn’t any friend to blind, then did he just illuminate the world with it unidirectionally? Except that, with how Baji had described Chifuyu’s attitude before, it was unlikely.
Therefore, Chifuyu called himself a bad person. Because he couldn’t stand up to his own standards. But, after meeting Baji… Baji, with his charism and his friendship, had saved Chifuyu from that. But while meeting Baji might have been life-changing to Chifuyu, something liberating, someone’s opinion of oneself did not change so easily. In a way, Chifuyu’s extreme admiration and loyalty to Baji might not be healthy. Chifuyu had said that his dead father was his ideal in life. If Baji had Chifuyu around his little finger, then Baji might be close to that ideal. So, Chifuyu would do everything for Baji. And for his friends. Which made his own self disappear.
Ryusei stopped in front of his door, blinking.
“Why am I thinking so much?”
Ryusei should stop worrying. Being loyal to Baji was still better than living all alone with his self-hatred. And following someone like Baji, who cared in his own way, might help Chifuyu improve. Had probably already done so, especially with such a bad example as Ryusei just around the corner.
Chifuyu had been sick. Being sick did bring people’s moral down. Chifuyu would get better in no time. It was just something to look out for. Ryusei had no real reason to worry.
Everything would be better in a few days.
He opened the door.
“I’m home.”
“Oh… Oh! You’re back! How’s your friend?”
“He seemed fine. He’ll get better soon.”
And then, Ryusei would stop being so damn concerned over a damn bad feeling.
“I’ll go to my room to change.”
“Do that, sweetheart. And shower too!”
Ryusei climbed the stairs to his room, closing the door as he went. Once he was installed, he had a call with Chuu to inform here Chifuyu wouldn’t be there the next day at the meeting.
“He was sick,” Ryusei offered to Chuu’s disbelief.
“I’m still surprised!” said the other. “Knowing that guy, I thought he’d power through anything if it meant spending time with us and the captain.”
“He’s an idiot, not a superhuman.”
“I beg to differ.”
Ryusei laughed, even though the bad feeling he had kept on creeping in the darkness of his mind.
“I guess you’ll have to wish him a good recovery for me.”
“Will do, see you then.”
Chifuyu would be fine, Ryusei thought as he hung off the phone. He smiled as he stood to resume his routine.
He was looking forward to the next day.
Chapter 8: I: In the corners of the city.
Notes:
Fun fact about my headcanon: I think that Chifuyu being a calm logical boy isn't as second-hand-embarrassing as he is in the spin-off. But since the spin-off is basically Chifuyu remembering the past, I think his memories are a tiny bit distorted because he's embarrassed about it. Lol.
So. Not a chapter all that funny. Depression come back. Ahah.
Laugh with me. *gun emoji*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After years of being away, Ryusei was finally back in Tokyo.
It was hard to believe. It felt like everything had changed, but at the same time, there was this familiar feeling that made him smile in nostalgia.
The process was simple. Ryusei rent an apartment, applied for a job in his area of expertise, and chilled for the next few days. He was only due to work in two weeks. He thought he’d use the time to catch up with old friends. It had been a long time since he had been able to speak with his former captain. Chifuyu had kept in contact with him a bit longer, but ultimately, there had been no contact in more than twelve years.
However, upon finding these old numbers from his past phone, nothing went through. It would be a pain if they had changed numbers. But Ryusei was certain that Baji would not have left the area so easily. Ryusei could still find him. And then it would be a matter of time before Chifuyu was in his reach again.
But, upon researching, talking to his past friends, he came upon nothing. The only one he could find was Chuu, their old friend in the first division.
Chuu was excited to hear about him again, but Ryusei was surprised to find he wasn’t in Tokyo anymore. Nonetheless, they agreed to meet, in their childhood district.
They caught up excitedly, with a certain amount of heartfelt nostalgia. They talked about the old times, and what they had been doing since then. Yet, through their conversation, it became somewhat obvious that Chuu was evading a topic. Chifuyu’s name didn’t come up even once, even when he was directly involved in the anecdote they were recalling. Baji’s name, however, came out unrestrained, in every stories. Ryusei took his chance.
“Speaking of Baji, do you know what he became? Haven’t heard of him since I came here.”
Chuu turned quiet. Ryusei didn’t expect it. He turned to face the other man, only to be met with a strange gaze, half concerned and half haunted. Chuu didn’t say anything.
“Chuu?” Ryusei called again, but something insidious was creeping up his spine.
He didn’t know what yet.
“You don’t know, do you? About Baji. And Chifuyu.”
The words were ominous. Had they left? Were they in prison, criminals? Ryusei did not believe it. But he also knew something else, that he was starting to put together now, under the grim eyes of his old companion.
Out of all the people he knew, only a few had answered his calls. Some had left very far. Some were still there, and had refused to see him in person, only welcoming him through the phone. However, through all of that, he noticed now only that, a majority of his friends, throughout all the divisions of his old gang…
…and most importantly Baji and Chifuyu…
They had all disappeared, as though they never existed.
Ryusei woke up sweating.
“What…”
A nightmare.
Ryusei sat up, breathing deeply for a few moments. By the time he gathered his spirits, the pieces of his dream were all jumbled together, already almost erased as he latched onto it with a shiver in his spine.
There had been the city, Tokyo, in the future. He’d been living his life normally. He’d been talking with a friends. But all he could remember was the creeping absence of two of his most important friends, like a shadow in his back.
There had been something intrinsically wrong inside that universe, but Ryusei couldn’t put his finger on what anymore.
He sighed.
“Just a dream anyway, right?”
Dreams had no right to be this disturbing. It felt ominous. It was probably his stupid bad feeling from the day before that had manifested in his mind this way. He should forget about it.
“Alright. Let’s get prepared.”
The sun was up bright and hot in the sky by the time he had made it out of the house and joined Baji by the riverside, between Baji and Chifuyu’s apartment complex and school. They sat next to one another, waiting for one of the others to text or come get them.
Fifteen minutes in, and Baji was already complaining.
“Geez, it’s so hot today.”
“Changes from the usual, doesn’t it?”
“Just shut up, Ryusei.”
Ryusei snickered at his captain obvious annoyance with the celestial astrum.
“For fuck’s sake… isn’t there some shade anywhere around here?”
“Go wet your pants under the bridge, by all means.”
“Ugh.”
“Actually I don’t understand. You don’t wanna be hot, but you don’t wanna be wet. If you feel hot what’s wrong with getting some water.”
“It’s a fucking pain. I’ll just work the heat off with a bit of fighting.”
“That is absolutely not how it works, Baji.”
“Ryusei! Baji!”
They both turned to see Chuu running to them.
“Wow! Chuu! Ya already here! Where are the others?” Ryusei greeted him enthusiastically.
“They’re down the river that way. The guys went and put on a big tent there, you’ll see.”
“What is this supposed to be, a sleepover?”
“Of course it’s not for sleeping.”
Baji stood up with a stretch.
“Thanks guys! Show it to us, I wanna get away from this damn heat.”
That was how, all three of them, Baji Ryusei and Chuu, made their way to the camp of the first division at a relatively sedated pace.
On their way to the team, they discussed different topics, argued a bit sometimes, but nothing really important. There had been no new danger lurking around just waiting to kill one of them just yet again. It was a nice day, with nice company, and that sufficed to make Ryusei a happy man. Of course, it would have been better if Chifuyu could come too, but one couldn’t have everything, right?
They came upon the camp that the other boys had built in next to the river. Said members of the first division were playing soccer just a few feet away. Baji grinned, with a mad chuckle.
"If the cops catch that, we’re so dead.”
“Not as dead as when they barge in our fights, honestly.”
Ryusei shouted at the players from up the hill.
“What are those lame shoots! What’s the score?”
“No score! We were waiting for ya t’come ‘round before we started for real!” shouted back a blond tall guy that was as energetic as Ryusei. “We were just warming up, jus’ so you know!”
“Just warming up? Don’t make me laugh! I’ll show you warming up!”
Only checking with Baji for an instant before leaving the two others alone, he almost flew down the slope in a matter of seconds before he was intercepting the ball and directly shooting it to the makeshift goal.
“See?”
“Nah, without warning is just cheating.”
“Okay, then let me do it again. Come on!”
“I won’t even let you get the ball anyway, why’re you excited?”
“Oh~ someone’s getting cocky here!”
From the corner of his eyes, Ryusei caught his captain and Chuu sitting down under the shade of the tent to talk for a while. It wouldn’t last long, judging from past experiences. Soon enough, Baji would stand up, yell at everyone to make a sparring tournament, and he’d end up absolutely destroying the last one standing. Ryusei if he was lucky, but half the time he came against Baji before the finals… He could hold his ground though, even against Baji. He had yet to see Chifuyu spar with Baji, actually, he wondered if the blond could do as well as himself.
Question for another time. Ryusei had no time to lose. To make the most of it before Baji decided to rope them in his fist festival agenda, go! As soon as the game started again, Ryusei stole the ball.
“What was it about me not touching the ball, huh~”
“Argh! Come back here!”
“You’ll have to catch me first!”
Without further ado – teasing – Ryusei ran toward the opposite goal. He was, of course, the most skilled in soccer amidst the first division’s fellows, but with all the games they’d played, his friends could hold their ground now. It was more interesting. He remembered when he first brought a soccer ball to one of these chill gatherings, only to realize that almost none of these idiots knew how to play correctly, he had laughed so hard it gave them the spite to learn.
“Whoops!” he said playfully, almost losing the ball to a tackle coordinated with a block.
He dodged one, making the ball jump up his shoe to his knee, and only after escaping the three people on him did he headbutt it to one of his teammates. He couldn’t monopolize all the fun, after all. They would not want to play with him anymore if he did so. There was only one idiot who didn’t give up even when Ryusei wiped the floor with him.
By the time noon came, Ryusei had swapped with another guy to take a break. Sure, he liked soccer, but contrary to Baji he knew that exercising in this heat would only dehydrate him.
“Hey.”
Ryusei looked to the right as he sat in the grass. There was his tall blond friend, staring at him with an interrogative tilt of the head.
“Where’s the other cute little shit?”
The other little shit being Chifuyu. Ryusei pursed his lips not to smile too obviously.
“If he were here, the little shit would have bashed your head in.”
“No infighting,” the other quoted by pure habit. “Nah, seriously, where’s he? He’s not hanging off somewhere ditching this right?”
“Nope. He’s sick, so he’s on bedrest. At least he’s supposed to be, but I wouldn’t count on him being up and about with how shitty he still looked yesterday.”
The young man stared for a long time before blinking away.
“I see. That’s good.”
It was Ryusei’s turn to blink.
“How is that good?”
“It’s just…” the tall blond threw glances around before lowering his voice as he spoke. “I think it’s better he’s not going around everywhere. Noticed he has that tendency to come across dark messes.”
“Like the Yotsuya Kaiden,” Ryusei deadpanned, remembering that particular incident.
“Exactly. I say that because… it’s not really any of our business, we’re just motorcycle gangs in the city tryna do our shit, it’s nothing to do with us what actual major members of society decide to do. But recently, one of my friends say his schoolmate almost got killed after running up into some of that shit.”
Ryusei frowned. Something dangerous that their gang would rather avoid…
“Some of that shit?” he repeated, confused but also suspecting.
“Criminal org doing some illegal firearms traffic,” the other grimly answered. “At least that’s what they’re muttering in the corners of the city. As much as Toman are good and strong delinquents, even us won’t go chasing some army of adults actually trained with guns. Not our job. They’re gonna get caught soon if people can already hear about it, but it’s better if we stay out of it.”
“Oh. So we’re not talking about it because…”
“It might frustrate the bosses. Like, they’re cool and all, but I’m pretty sure between our own and the others, one of them must be stupid enough to try their hands at it. So were lower members jus’ keep quiet ‘bout it.”
He took a drag of his cigarette before resuming.
“That’s why I’d rather the little guy didn’t go off wherever. With his luck, he’d be killed in the matter of a week.”
Ryusei cracked a smile, hoping to alleviate the tension that had gathered.
“He’s not that bad. He usually sticks to Baji and his stray cats, and I’m not stupid enough to make him chase after me again. I’d say he’s a bit like a dog, if only he weren’t such a prickly cat!”
He earned himself a laugh.
“Yeah, I totally get that! Like, a loner cat who picks a fight with everything except its favorite human being! Wonder why I didn’t think about that before! Damn, you’re good Ryusei… Never change.”
“Okay, when do you want me to disappear again?”
“Nevermind that, please don’t stay an asshole forever, Ryusei.”
They both chuckled, then fell quiet. It was nice, just watching the guys play around by the river in the shade, listening to the noise of the water and the playful yells. He thought he could hear a few cicadas.
However, this new information gave the peace an slightly ominous tint. Like a deafening ringing sound under the happy chaos. Ryusei saw Baji standing up in the distance, stretching.
“Just to be clear,” he asked, “Baji doesn’t know about this, right?”
“No way in hell any of us are telling him. The guy’s a history with feeling guilty for not stopping crimes that’re not his fault.”
“I see. Don’t worry, if it reaches him, it won’t be from me.”
“Oi! Everyone! It’s boring in here! Let’s spar!”
They exchanged one last glance before smiling, back to normal.
“Thanks man.”
“It’s nothing duh. Rather, let’s get over there before Baji drags our asses himself.”
By now, Ryusei had long since forgotten the strange dream he had had in the morning.
But, as he made his way over to his captain with his friends, he noticed someone standing on top of the slope. He turned and glanced up, frowning at the bright sun. The figure was in the backlight, Ryusei could not see who it was. But they were smaller than him, wearing a sweatshirt with the hood on, hands in their pockets.
Ryusei could only divine that the stranger had caught his stare from under the shadows of his hood, because then, the person walked away.
Huh.
…Strange.
Chifuyu stared down the riverside with dark, empty eyes.
He had left this morning putting on something anonymous. Something to cover himself. It was probably the temptation that was too great. He could not help but want to see them again. Even though his mind had thousands of reasons not to at the ready, everything from his body to his soul yearned for what they had been. What they were again.
The sun in his back, he stared down at the first division boys, assembled by the river, messing around in the grass like normal teenagers.
Chifuyu tried not to look too closely. Otherwise, he might throw up.
The original first division, the one that Ryusei and he had led under Baji one after another. The original members of their crew. Throughout the next twelve years following Baji’s death, these same people had either been corrupted, killed, or left long ago off their own volition.
You should go with me, too, Chifuyu. You know what this is coming to be.
…I can’t.
I understand.
I’m sorry.
Just survive, kid. That’s all that matter.
Chuu had left, Chifuyu remembered that moment clearly. They had all still been young by then. But by the time Tenjiku had come around, it had been all too easy for people like Chuu and Chifuyu to predict what Tokyo Manji would come to be. Chuu had left, discreetly, but not without one last word with Chifuyu.
It was hard, watching the people one loved up and leave, like nothing meant anything anymore. Except it did, and that was what hurt. These people who understood all to well what he had been living through, what he had been fighting for ever since that October, in grim helplessness, and who still left with little more than a few words of companionship, because at the end of the day that was all they had to offer to each other by then.
But it wasn’t the hardest. It was the easiest, in a way. The day Chuu left, Chifuyu had learnt how to falsify digital information. He was the one who had erased Chuu’s traces, permitting him to leave Tokyo in peace, without someone like Hanma or Kisaki intervening out of fear. The first division had always been a big risk for them, the division so close to ‘the only one’ who had seen through Kisaki’s game. They were to be monitored. They were also the ones who had started disappearing first. And it was only thanks to Chifuyu and a handful of others at that point, that it had been possible. That handful had also ended up disappearing, one way or another.
It had been painful to watch these people he’d cared for and shared so much with leave. But it had been even more heartbreaking to see them slowly become corrupted by the new Toman. It felt like being left alone, surrounded by people who used to understand, but now would only make confused faces if he cried.
But the worst, by far, was those who couldn’t leave.
It was for these people that Chifuyu had learnt most of his dirty skills. Information falsification, mind manipulation, including brainwash, knowledge in anatomy, pieces of chirurgical knowledge as well, knowledge in plants and drugs… Torture, despite his own efforts.
Chifuyu had tortured just like he had been tortured. Worse perhaps, because Kisaki wasn’t very skilled at it, didn’t dirty his hands often enough for that. But Chifuyu did. Chifuyu had tortured these people. He had hit them, had gotten information from them, had heard them beg, cry.
And he’d asked them why.
Why did you get caught. Why didn’t you leave before. Why.
Why are you making me do this?
He had killed them.
Sometimes, when he had been lucky, he had saved them. But, despite his best efforts, through his worst dirty tricks, most of the time their life had ended with Chifuyu putting a bullet in their brain.
A kindness, perhaps. One of them had died beaten to death. Chifuyu had only wished the same for himself once he was done.
He could remember all of their faces. All of them. Even those who cursed him. Those who had cried, those who had begged.
Those who had looked at him with these eyes and said:
Chifuyu… I’m sorry.
Sorry to make you do this.
I’m sorry to leave you here.
I’m so sorry.
Don’t feel bad, okay?
I wish Baji were here. You know.
Don’t worry, you can shoot.
Don’t feel guilty.
I miss the old times. Don’t you?
They’re far, those days.
Wish we could play soccer together just one more time.
…Let’s talk about the old days, just a minute.
Alright?
So many of them. Two hundreds and fifty members in the first division, and a third of them had died by his hand. And out of these… so many had spoken to him, like old friends would. So understanding. With compassion, melancholy, nostalgia, kindness-
It had scared him so much the first time. It was nice meeting you. See you again. He had been so scared he had shot the bullet immediately. The man had died with a smile on his face. A peaceful, satisfied smile that had kept on appearing in Chifuyu’s nightmares for weeks on end. Joined by so many others afterward. Chifuyu… What do I do? I don’t want to die! One of them had cried, the tears had sprung out of his eyes and Chifuyu had watched, with the heavy knowledge was confiding in a friend, not even resenting him the murder he had been about to commit.
These had been the hardest.
It had been hard too, the day he refused to speak to them. Kicked them, punched, drugged them, dug up old traumatisms if necessary, tortured them to no end without a kind word, without an expression on his face, only with one goal in mind by the end of it. Forget your name. Don’t talk. What’s your name? Wrong. Can you speak? You can’t. You will erase all your information. You will leave Japan and never come back. Will you come back? -Chifuyu… Argh! -Wrong answer. There is nothing in Tokyo. You will leave. You will not come back. You will not be seen. And it was still better than killing them. Because at the end of the day, half of them had no memory of him, and they had been far away from Tokyo, never to come back. The rest of the time, they had died, but it was their bruised and crying faces he remembered over the kind smiles he couldn’t bear. He didn’t know what was worse.
Kisaki had forbidden death by poison inside Toman by the time he’d learnt of those drugs that feigned death.
Things had gotten easier on that side when Kazutora had forcibly involved himself in it. And Chifuyu could not refuse. But by the time Kazutora had been there, the original first division had already been purged, and these technics only came to use for potential witnesses for the police, against the brand new and dirty Toman.
Crazy how Chifuyu was always too late to change anything.
Chifuyu couldn’t look at their faces. Even from this distance, standing on the slope with his hands in his pockets, he almost couldn’t stomach to hear their voices as their laugher floated to him. Images kept flashing behind his eyelids every time he blinked. Sometimes he didn’t need to. Blink, he meant. He could see them just fine like a prism replacing the actual people he was observing.
Chifuyu did not belong there. He could not look at them in the eyes. He couldn’t even hear their voices without wanting to vomit, let alone looking at them in the eyes. Out of all the people he loved, how many could he bear to see on a daily basis with breaking down? So few. So very few.
Looking Mikey in the eyes would be a game over. Let alone Kisaki. Chifuyu could kill him on sight.
Chifuyu obviously, so very obviously did not belong with these people anymore.
But he yearned for them. He wanted nothing more but to stay.
In fact, for over a decade, he had wanted nothing more than for all this shit to be over.
Out of all the timelines, why this one? Why not the one in which he’d actually opened his pet shop? Even the one in which he was killed by Mikey was preferable to this one? What had he done to deserve this? Why…
Why couldn’t he just forget all of it when he died at last?
Chifuyu had not wanted to die. For all the lives he had taken, he had made a point not to yearn for death. But he had wanted this to be over. He was supposed to rest.
Why was it denied to him?
But Chifuyu knew perfectly well why. And he could not even bring himself to resent those who had decided so.
Chifuyu caught Ryusei staring at him.
He couldn’t see any recognition in those eyes, as Chifuyu stood in the backlight. Chifuyu knew that, especially in that position, he was unrecognizable. It was what he had aimed for.
But right now, that foreign gaze only added to his living nightmares.
Monster.
He wished they’d said that more often.
He tore his eyes away.
Now was time to leave. He started moving, just to be safe. Ryusei could still recognize him somehow, and Chifuyu wanted to avoid that. He shouldn’t have come there at all.
At least, he managed to confirm the rumor he had heard the day before, even from so far away, either on his way or at the riverside.
Firearms traffic, huh.
Chifuyu had something to take care off. Alone. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be long.
Notes:
Chifuyu there was totally taken from that one image in the first op, sweatshirt with empty looks. Hits hard.
Chapter 9: Y: It's a bit quiet.
Summary:
Chifuyu is on the move.
Thankfully, he knows how these sorts of things work.
Notes:
There might be some fight inacurracies.
Hope you don't mind. I did my best, I think it's plausible.
Finally some action!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
In the corners of the city, in the dark places where people muttered sometimes, one could find a shady group of people. Quiet as mouses, they disposed of those that discovered them. New to the country, producing industrial weapons to customers illegally. Japan was a good place for that kind of commerce, if only because it was forbidden, but also because they were so many young people who turned wrong.
There in the corners, there was an abandoned building. An old theater, since used as a stocking place for whoever. It had been put back into relatively good condition by the criminal organization now making its debut in Japan, Tokyo. The rooms were full of either scheming people, or weapons. It was organized chaos, and no one dared come close. No one was bold enough to get involved with this disaster in the making.
Except one boy, hidden just a few walls away. Scanning the site with a calculating glint in his blue-green feline eyes.
Chifuyu swore in his mind.
He was absolutely not reconsidering his decision. However, he just came to the realization that he should take his current size and strength into account.
Contrary to popular opinion in the future Toman, Chifuyu had not, in fact, lost his touch in terms of hand to hand combat, or one vs all fight. He could still do all those things, and that was an advantage he’d always kept hidden from most people in case it might prove helpful against Kisaki one day. Unlikely since… well… Proof was his death by drugs and bullet to the head.
However, Chifuyu was aware he was now rather small, compared to the giants of his generation, and if he would grow to have a strong, lean body, it wasn’t yet the case. How many seconds did it take to choke a man to unconsciousness with his current strength?
No matter. It was but a small detail. A slight drawback on the original plan, he admitted. In his defense, he wasn’t used to accounting for unnatural changes of abilities that happened overnight. His honor as a strategist was safe. Technique had almost nothing to do with height anyway, it didn't make the experience go away. More importantly perhaps, his small size might turn out to be an advantage instead of an inconvenient.
He breathed in, silently, tracking the executives’ movements from the corner of his eyes. He exhaled.
Time to go.
He slipped in the shadows, in the direction of the one furthest away from the other. It would be a good start. The big man turned his head to the far end of the wall of the building, while Chifuyu sneaked on him from the other side like a snake. The first thing he did was cover his mouth, at the same time as he gave a surprise elbow in the man’s stomach, making sure the man had no air left to attempt a scream. He then drew back to kick him to the ground and not leaving him a second to catch his breath, he sat on the man’s body and began to choke him.
It was done in sixty-seven seconds. Once the guard went limp, Chifuyu only waited a few more seconds making sure he wasn’t feigning it before relaxing his hands and checking the man’s pulse to make sure he was still alive.
With difficulty, he placed the unconscious burden half on his shoulder and dragged him away before one of the other three outside found the both of them. He left him on the side of the street a few blocs away, with one gun less.
In much the same way, Chifuyu took out two of the three other guards around the building. Then, agile as a cat, he climbed up the pipes as he would when he was young, to reach the broken window above. He slipped inside, like a black feline with velvet paws, as soon as he noticed no one was there.
This was the third floor. An elevator was probably supposed to go up there, but it was long since disabled. No wonder that group had not invested the place. Through the cracks in the floor, he counted the people at the second floor. There were more than those outside, probably less than the people on ground floor.
Eleven. All with weapons. Could Chifuyu handle them all at once? Probably, but he needed a plan to neutralize them all at once. But he already had one. Anytime now…
Outside, there was a yelp.
Chifuyu didn’t even blink. The men in the floor underneath, however, were alerted by the scream. When no one yet came in from the stairs to report, two of the men below opened the door to the stair case.
“What’s happening?” Chifuyu heard them shouting.
“There’s one guy outside! Our own, he’s…”
“What, where?”
“We’ve been attacked?”
Five left the room, leaving six inside. Chifuyu could do that. The boss was probably the one sitting in the middle. Two had their guns at hand. He had to disable those first, shooting near the magazine around the hand might be better.
He fired six times in quick succession, making the two fighters hands either bleed or drop the guns depending on where he managed to shoot, he also shot in four legs, or an ankle for the last one, shooting from above wasn’t ideal. They were screams then, as Chifuyu made his way down, recaptioning on one of the downed men after climbing down some with his hands, quickly picking up the man’s weapon in his belt and shooting those who were still up except the boss.
“You!”
“Me,” he cut in, darting to the man now standing, slipping behind him and pressing a kitchen knife to his throat. “If any of you move, I kill him,” he stated matter-of-factly.
They all froze, even those who reached down for their guns, even kneeling on the ground. Chifuyu knocked out the boss and sat him down on his chair, hiding behind him to avoid being shot.
Now, he thought, eyes scanning the people left in the room. The others would soon be back after hearing the gunshots. With no risk of his hostage struggling, he held his borrowed gun at the ready with his right hand.
“What do you want!”
Face blank, Chifuyu watched on as the room started to fill with the guys who had left. He had done right to go for the higher floor rather than the low ranked guys from below.
“First of all, all of you are going to hand over your weapons.”
They looked at each other. Chifuyu only waited five seconds before pressing the blade of the knife in the man’s skin, drawing blood.
“You! You do what he said!” exclaimed the better dressed businessman that Chifuyu had already neutralized.
“If one of you try to hide something or try to shot me I will not hesitate to shoot a bullet in your head,” Chifuyu declared as incentive.
It worked. It took some time and Chifuyu demanded that the businessman searched the men one by one, under Chifuyu’s caution gaze. Once it was done, Chifuyu pushed all those weapons behind him, shooting in the canon of every single one of them and only leaving two charged ones to use after that, and finally took some distance from the boss.
“Now tell us what you want!”
Chifuyu ignored them. Instead, keeping two guns pointed at his hostage and the crowd, he searched the room carefully. He opened one of the inconspicuous cupboards lined against the left wall, finding a strongbox inside.
“Is that were you put your dirty money?” Chifuyu raised an eyebrow at the businessman. “What’s the code?” his voice was ice cold.
The businessman shook his head, sweating.
“I see,” Chifuyu did not back down. “I actually don’t need you to tell me.”
He put one of the guns in his own belt, grabbing the admittedly heavy strongbox under his arm.
Quick, he darted to the window with only another smirk:
“Okay, you’re free now. By the way, I called the police.”
With that, he slipped back outside, letting himself slide back to the ground. Before he could run, he heard shouts.
“Fuck! That bastard!”
“Take everything and move!”
“The boss!”
“More importantly, run after that little shit!”
Without surprise, at least five guys caught sight of him before he could escape. Then started a wild goose chase all around the dark and disreputable neighborhood. They must’ve followed each other, therefore all of them minus a few must be running after him now. He led them in circles in the dirty parts of the district, alerting the entirety of the neighborhood. Every few minutes, he would jump the one closest behind him and knock them out violently.
He counted fifteen. About twenty to go, not accounting for the ones he had neutralized in the abandoned building. By the time he sneaked into a closed shop, he knew about a dozen should be left. Now, he was more in his area of expertise. Turning back to the entrance he had crashed, he prepared himself to fight them all one on one, one after the other as they entered.
The first didn’t know what hit him. He was knocked out immediately, left for the second to stumble over before Chifuyu bashed his head with the strongbox. He kicked the two unconscious bodies away before the next flew in, immediately going for Chifuyu even as he dodged. Chifuyu kicked him in the temple after taking support against the furniture. The fourth had a shotgun, but Chifuyu shot it away from his hand before taking care of the man himself.
The next three tried to surprise him by attacking all at once from three different angles, having waited on each other and broke more windows. But Chifuyu had known worse, he dodged the first by kneeling, grabbed the second by the arm and made him topple on top of the third. He punched on in the chin with the gun, stunning them, and disposed of the two on the grounds by bashing one head against the other.
Before he had even finished, another sneaked up on him with the strongbox he had dropped, Chifuyu only had time to grasp at both wrists and he fell to the ground facing the other. Struggling in their wrestling, Chifuyu urgently headbutted the other and taking control of the tool of fortune, knocking out one, then immediately the next as he came while standing up. Three to go.
No, four. They all approached him from the corners, had him surrounded. Chifuyu dropped the box and made a provoking gesture.
“Come at me.”
The adrenaline rushed in his blood, he let them come once more, taking one of them off with a strong kick immediately. One tried to tackle him, but Chifuyu jumped and went down by burying his knee in the crook of the other’s neck, dealing with the two others with his fists in their faces.
The last one fell. But he heard a noise behind him. The fifth one hadn’t been knocked out.
He had a gun.
He fired before Chifuyu could shoot, but it was fine, Chifuyu didn’t even feel it, and he had protected himself with his arm. The other screamed as his hand bled abundantly Chifuyu used the distraction to finally bash his head in the ground.
He exhaled.
Done.
“W-what happened here?”
Chifuyu turned around, coming face to face with a young girl and her mother. They both looked absolutely terrified. For a moment, he felt guilty.
“Hello,” he greeted them quietly, but politely. “Is this your shop? I’m sorry… these people threw me through one of the window.”
That was a white lie. But he had only crashed the entrance, without damaging it all that much, contrary to those criminals. Most importantly, Chifuyu had thought it was empty.
“You… You’re bleeding…”
Chifuyu blinked at the little girl’s words. Looking down at himself, he saw that he was bleeding from above his left elbow. The bullet hadn’t gone through. Now that he was aware, he could feel the sting. It would be worse once the adrenaline rush calmed down. He grimaced.
“Don’t worry about it. Rather… Could you call the police? There are a lots of those thugs out there, if I could bring them here and tie them all together…”
Too stunned after the whole ordeal, the adult woman nodded quickly.
“I’ll do that right now…”
Seeing the woman open her flip phone, Chifuyu immediately set out to retrieve all the unconscious bodies out there and even from inside the abandoned theater. To his surprise, when he arrived, he found out that some people had already picked bodies up and were bringing them in. He frowned at the sight.
“What…?”
One of them went by him.
“Thank you a lot, man. They were really starting to become a hassle.”
“Yeah, we got it from here.”
“…Okay.”
No one wanted to have criminals lying around in front of their homes. It made sense, Chifuyu thought as he patrolled the paths in case someone had been missed. These people were poor, all they were doing wasn’t always the nicest stuff. They just wanted to be left alone, and that group of criminals hadn’t done them any good. Worse, it would have drawn attention to them eventually. They were probably just waiting for someone to drop in and fix it… with little hope, that didn’t actually happen every day. Chifuyu just happened to have an ulterior motive. Two ulterior motives.
“These are their heads,” he said, dragging back the boss and the businessman out of the abandoned building at the end. “I think that’s all.”
A grown man was waiting for him, relieving him of his burdens.
“Good riddance,” the man spat. “Them and their stupid business…”
“Did you see where they dropped their goods?”
“Why, you want it?”
Chifuyu shook his head under the suspicious stare.
“Just asking for a favor.”
“As long as it’s not anything too criminal, will do. You really helped us there, kiddo. I won’t ask who you are, in fact none of us will bother you, you did us a great service. I guessed you’d want something in return.”
“It’s nothing big,” Chifuyu assured him. “But if the police asks around for where their site was, can you avoid mentioning the theater? Just point them to where those guys left their merchandises, if it’s no issue.”
“None at all. I life just front, I’d rather not have the cops watching me for an entire month. You want the place, don’t you?”
Chifuyu nodded.
“Then no one will pip a word, I swear. No time left to carry what’s left to the other place. I’ll tell the others, and let’s all go home before they arrive.”
Chifuyu thanked him, and went to take refuge in the theater’s third floor before he could hear the sirens.
If there was one thing he had learned dealing with dark matters, it was that the small people of the low districts looked first and foreall for no trouble. In that sense, it was a pretty tight-knit community, and mostly, help given help received. He guessed these people were a bit like him when he was younger, disliking of authority figures and hierarchical structure. That might be why he always preferred those missions, even if they were dirty still. They could understand each other.
The sirens passed. Chifuyu heard them come and go, hidden away in the inaccessible third floor of the abandoned theater. The actual theater had been at the fourth floor, but it had been razed away in the past, only leaving those unattended ruins behind. There must have been the changing room, some desks behind doors that had crumbled down after so much time. There was also a practice room or two, a waiting hall… It was pretty fascinating studying something that probably held so many people now gathering dust, deserted and forgotten.
He wished it could be his future. Rather, it felt like the memories of his own life.
Chifuyu walked in circles, paced around, letting his eyes roam the place down to its single detail. The blood that was left, splattered on the wall and puddles on the ground. Almost dry now. All the cupboards, what they contained. He sat on the chair and swung his feet, sometimes rhythmically, sometimes without any logic.
It felt strangely quiet.
Chifuyu felt himself fill that space with his loud memories and his quiet thoughts. Something respectful… solemn, floating in the air.
His arm had begun to burn. He should probably take care of it. Extract the bullet first.
Suddenly, as he held onto his arm, with an aching, quiet heartbit and yet an empty chest, his bangs wet of sweat and the humidity of the evening falling upon the district, standing so small in the middle of a desert, dark place… Suddenly, Chifuyu felt miserable.
He did not know the reason.
He did not know how much time passed, before he could hear cars driving away, without the sirens this time. No one needed to call him out. He left on his own, through the window. Even outside, everything was terribly quiet.
Everything felt so big, suddenly.
Just a stop back home. He would be discreet, had left the window of the balcony open on purpose. He would pick up the first aid kit, and the sewing kit. He would also take his mother’s wooden tweezers and clean it. Then, he would leave and come back here to lick his wounds.
Yeah, that sounded good.
Awfully familiar, too. In a comforting way… and maybe a bit lonely too.
Chifuyu reflected on that thought a few minutes, his eyes glazed over the dark sky. His mind felt filled with cotton. It was almost nice, if he thought about it. He didn’t really feel sad. He had no reason to.
Another thought passed his mind. He blinked slowly at the rising moon.
How was Peke J doing? The thought of the black cat waiting for him at home made something soften in a chest he hadn’t known was clenching.
“I hope Baji-san fed him.”
He never failed to give Peke J treats, Chifuyu could remember it fuzzily.
…
“…Let’s get moving.”
Notes:
C to cry. Everyone's autorized, even if they're not physically crying.
And L if you felt that loneliness.And B if you liked the action, that was some serious BAMF Chifuyu right there.
Chapter 10: A: Just do it right.
Summary:
Keisuke is worried.
He finds more reasons to be.Chifuyu knows what's happening to him.
But he just can't stop it.
Notes:
Thanks to the person who asked for this chapter because otherwise I wouldn't have written it at all, I think. It was a bit hard figuring it out, but ultimately I'm happy with it (lie, I'm damn sad because of it but you'll be too normally so I'm not worried).
So guess if you have suggestions in the future, this story could benefits from it.
Or its alternate one shots.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Keisuke petted Peke J’s fur absentmindedly. The cat purred on his lap underneath his touch, his vibrissae wriggling out of contentment. He sighed, unable to focus.
It had been a while since the last time he’d attempted to write a letter without Chifuyu. It wasn’t going well, to say the least. Usually, he’d call Chifuyu over during the weekend sometimes for the other boy to help him with his studies or with the letters to Kazutora, but right now it felt wrong to do so. He was at least half a good person, not to disturb a recovering person. He could figure it out. He hadn’t written one since what? Three or four days? He’d never been very prolific, he would give that, but still. With everything that had happened, he was itching to confide in a friend.
But before he could even start to write, the movement of Peke J’s tail distracted him. He wasn’t even trying, was he? He realized so with a sigh.
He wasn’t used to being this… worried? For a friend. All his friends were forces of nature. And sure, they did often just blurt out those ominous hints but Chifuyu was different, it literally came out of nowhere with him.
He wondered why Peke J was there, when he could be sleeping peacefully with Chifuyu right now, Chifuyu who definitely would not say no to some fluffy warmth now. It was well past midnight, and Baji didn’t know why he was still awake.
Lie. Reason: he couldn’t sleep. But he didn’t know why. Too anxious? About what? Chifuyu? People got sick, people acted weird, what was he supposed to do about it?
Somehow Chifuyu hadn’t ranted about any manga since four days ago. He had been all apathic all Thursday, which really should have been a telling sign something was wrong. But even when he was starting to look better, he didn’t mention it in all the conversations they had, even when they were light hearted – that was how Keisuke preferred his conversations.
And he didn’t know why that was bothering him.
Mostly, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Ryusei and his strange questions. How would Keisuke know how Chifuyu was before and why? Why did he make it seem so damn concerning? Ryusei had also told him the next day and before that everyone had problems anyway, some big and some small, and sometimes it was better to let them solve those on their own. So why the heck was Ryusei getting so involved?
Keisuke wasn’t that smart. He couldn’t understand. He gritted his teeth.
He had totally forgotten about the letter he was supposed to write again. He crossed his arms on the desk and put his head into it, sighing long-sufferingly.
“Maybe I’ll just take a quick look,” he conceded to himself.
Maybe then he’d be able to either focus on that stupid letter or straight up go to sleep. He had school the next day.
He’d bring the cute cat.
“C’me on, Peke J,” he stood up with a groan. “We’re gonna see your owner.”
Peke J didn’t seem very agreeable to the idea, but once Keisuke had him comfortably shuffled up in his arms, the black cat didn’t complain anymore, even when they stepped outside.
Down the window they went. Wow, Keisuke had never done that with a cat in his arm before. Very fun, three out of ten, wouldn’t recommend. But since Keisuke was a street genius, it worked just fine. At least for him, because Peke J did in fact start complaining right after sliding down the pipes to Chifuyu’s balcony.
He was surprised to see light coming from the window. He was about to call out to Chifuyu, because if Keisuke himself should be sleeping, then the sick kid definitely shouldn’t have stayed up so late.
Except his words died in his throat as he turned.
The first thing that caught his eyes were the red bandages spread on the ground. The next were the brown tainted ones. His sight blurred as he took in Chifuyu’s naked arm, and finally he caught the little crumpled dirty golden thing that could only be a damn bullet with the corner of his eyes. The sleeve that used to cover the left arm was in tatters on the ground, pierced, cut, torn apart at places but mostly the color of dead blood.
Chifuyu was very much awake, cleaning up all that mess, and had not yet noticed him. Not that Keisuke cared.
“Chifuyu!” the scream tore itself from his lips, a mix of alarm and rage.
What in Hell!?
Chifuyu looked up, alerted by his loud exclamation and the banging on his window. He paled significantly more when he noticed Keisuke just outside the glass, aborting a movement to push everything under the bed. Caught red handed, he had to know there was nothing he could do to avoid Keisuke’s attention now. More importantly, why was he even trying to hide it! Was he stupid? Crazy! Chifuyu should be at the fucking hospital!
Chifuyu had that slightly guilty look now in the middle of the panic and just wow, man, maybe you should have thought about it before you got into this whole situation because what about all of this could be considered a fucking good idea!?
“If you don’t open the fucking window right now, I will destroy it!” he warned in a growl through the transparent matter because Chifuyu’s next course of action was just that easy to predict, “Don’t try me.”
Chifuyu had the gall to pinch his lips in this princely annoyed manner as though he had any right to be annoyed right now. Gods above, what had he even be trying to do with all that shit!
Chifuyu, in slow reluctancy, opened the fucking window.
And Keisuke, with his big angry hoofs, invited himself inside, close the damn thing himself before he shooting Chifuyu the darkest eye he’d ever sent anyone before.
“Explain.”
His voice was cold and boiling with unrestrained fury, and Chifuyu flinched at the sound. Keisuke was too madly worried to care about it right this moment. He took a threatening step forward when Chifuyu didn’t answer, fully expecting Chifuyu to take a step back with how he seemed to be cornered. Instead, he watched with a far away sort of amazement as the boy remained anchored to the ground, his features progressively schooling into neutrality as he kept staring in Keisuke’s eyes.
It was peculiar.
And it fucking didn’t help Keisuke’s agitation.
Chifuyu blinked a few times, expressionless as he moved his focus from Keisuke’s eyes to through his torso.
“I met bad people. They were mad that I saw them. So they shot me. I called the police.”
That explained fucking nothing.
The four pieces of information were given in a mechanical manner, one that only served to anger Keisuke more.
“Where did you meet them? How’d you got mixed up in their fight?”
Since it seemed he was only going to get the story sentence by sentence, might as well play into Chifuyu’s game.
“… I… In the city. They were in some sort of meeting about their illegal business, and I interrupted them, by arriving.”
“Where the fuck in the city?! Gun guys who aren’t police would have been caught red handed just hanging off the streets!” This story was not plausible.
“It was in the quiet corners.”
Keisuke clenched his fists and hit the window behind him. He burst.
“What were you doing there, goddamnit! For fuck’s sake, why the heck were you even out in the first place!?” he roared, unable to control himself.
He saw Chifuyu tense and throw a glance at the door, outside of which his mother was surely sleeping somewhere.
“I went for a walk.”
“Why there!”
“… I didn’t want anyone to bother me.”
Chifuyu wasn’t moving. His arms had moved to link themselves behind his back, as though by pure instinct. He looked like a military… Who did Chifuyu think Keisuke was all of a sudden?
Keisuke didn’t understand. Suddenly he felt like he didn’t understand shit about anything.
“Now explain,” he tried to reign himself in with difficulty, and admittedly few results, “why, you didn’t go to the goddamned hospital!”
He ended up yelling anyway.
Chifuyu stared up at him. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it. He closed it, no knowing what to say. The process repeated itself several times before at last, Chifuyu looked away, mumbling a half-hearted answer.
“Why go there when I could do it myself?”
Keisuke grabbed his shoulders and shook him, forcing him to look at him.
“Do you think this is a joke? Why are you lying to me!”
Chifuyu raised his head in a sharp movement when he heard Keisuke’s accusation, immediately lashing out.
“I didn’t lie!” he argued back, for once.
Keisuke blinked, and relaxed his grip, taken aback by the outburst. Chifuyu seemed perhaps just as surprised, but he didn’t let it show for too long before staring up at Keisuke once again, with steel in his eyes this time.
“I have never, and will never lie to you, Baji-san,” he told him, with an absolute certainty.
Keisuke didn’t know how to reply to that.
He let go of Chifuyu, who didn’t move. That made two of them.
The next question came naturally, quiet in every way Keisuke’s mind wasn’t.
“Then why do you keep acting like this is excruciating to talk about?”
Chifuyu didn’t answer for a while. He only searched deep into Keisuke’s eyes. Keisuke didn’t know what the other was looking for with such an unreadable urgence in his eyes, and he also didn’t know what Chifuyu found in the end, when he finally leaned back, then blinked away, down to the floor.
“Because I didn’t want you to know.”
Keisuke, hearing those words, felt the resurgence of his anger, above all else, but also a peek of hurt through the raging storm that was his mind.
“You- Why?”
He bit his lips when he heard himself, sounding more desperate than furious.
Why indeed?
Did Chifuyu not trust him?
That thought hurt more than it had any right to. According to Ryusei, Keisuke knew basically nothing about Chifuyu, in reality… outside of their very own bubble. He had no right to complain about what Chifuyu would or would not share with him.
But Chifuyu had given his friendship to Keisuke. In a way that left nothing up to imagination. And as much as Keisuke disliked the idea of such a devotion dedicated to him, that much just had to mean they were friends, right? Friends that trusted each other? Or was it some kind of fucked up one-sided loyalty?
But, to Keisuke’s surprise, Chifuyu’s shoulders had started to shake on their own. His inferior lip quivered still with how hard he was visibly biting it. And his features were filled with helpless frustration. He looked about to burst.
However, rather than frustration, when he spoke, it was with just a thin broken voice…
“Because it’s shameful.”
…Filled with anguish.
Keisuke ended up being the one to almost take a step back.
Chifuyu wouldn’t look at him. It was as though a dam broke.
“I’m supposed to know how to do that shit. I knew they had guns, and I was fucking slow and stupid and I got hit like a damn beginner! How difficult is it to take cover, punch it out or just dodge! A gun is a gun! Like a gun’s a fucking big deal!” he screamed with that absolute anguish on his features and in his voice. “How shameful does it get when you don’t even get knocking someone out right! How’d you forget about something as goddamn obvious as a shiny firearm when it’s right in front of you! How shameful and so damnedly stupid is it to turn your fucking back to a conscious armed man! It’s a beginner mistake! It could’ve been fatal and I can’t believe I dishonored- that I dishonored him- you- that I- with my own carelessness, and how much more disappointing can I get in a single day!”
His voice broke at the end. And Keisuke watched him, with wide eyes.
Tempers were such a fickle thing. Strange, weren’t they?
Strange because, the more Chifuyu became agitated and screamed out his shame, the calmer Keisuke felt himself become. And it was with a striking lucidity that he observed the boy in front of him and realized something incredibly terrifying.
Suddenly, all of Ryusei’s warnings made more sense.
But at the same time, not at all.
Something was wrong. So viscerally wrong.
“Chifuyu,” Keisuke heard his own emotionless voice cut through Chifuyu’s rant as a sneaking suspicion made his blood run cold. “You sound like you get shot often.”
Chifuyu jolted.
“Do you?”
For a few moments, neither moved. Chifuyu was frozen and pale, not seeing anything. And Keisuke waited, as the suspicion took solid root in his mind.
What would be more disturbing, that his friend guilt-tripped himself over being hurt or that he had often been under fire?
Keisuke felt an ice cold feeling take over his chest.
“Look at me. Please.”
Chifuyu swallowed visibly, not raising his head immediately. He did so very slowly, as though he was awaiting execution, or some kind of judgement.
“I… have never been shot at before today.”
The words were spoken quietly, chosen very carefully. And despite all the signs, Chifuyu was not lying.
So why did it feel like something was even more wrong than before?
It did not relieve Keisuke to hear those words.
“Chifuyu. Do you think I could have dodged that bullet?”
“Yes.” The answer was immediate, with no hesitation.
And how wrong all of this suddenly seemed.
“Do you think I’m a super human or something?”
“No. Baji-san has a lot of weaknesses. But he also has great survival instincts and lot of battle smarts and experience.”
“Don’t you too?”
“I…”
There it was, that ashamed look once again. And Keisuke wanted to bash in his head so hard, to get into that skull that he shouldn’t blame himself, that it was wrong, that Chifuyu was hurting himself for no reason, he wanted to solve all of this mess right now!
But for fuck’s sake, Keisuke wasn’t equipped for this.
“No one’s fucking disappointed in you,” he choked out, “There’s absolutely no one out there who’s going to take a look at you and think it’s normal to… to… They’d all be damn worried if they knew! Worried out of their minds! Don’t you dare beat yourself up for being… what? Not strong enough? Not agile enough? Nobody’s going to demand of you to be stronger than them. I for one would’ve rather you never came close to those bastards! The people who love you wants you safe more than they want you strong!”
He couldn’t stop himself in time.
“You’re a damn good person whether you’re weak or strong, Chifuyu!”
And then, there was silence. A shell-shocked silence. And they looked at each other, both with their breaths caught in their throats. Keisuke felt himself break then, at what he saw in the other’s gaze. He exhaled, all his strengths finally leaving him.
In an uncharacteristic show of weakness, he brought their foreheads forever, leaning slightly on the other. His voice now nothing but a rough murmur…
“So why do you blame yourself?”
Chifuyu tensed underneath him. Then, he progressively relaxed, almost as though he was afraid to do so. Keisuke heard a trembling breath, one that threatened to turn into a breakdown. But Chifuyu didn’t cry, no matter how much he sounded like he wanted to. Neither of them did.
They had tired each other too much for that, perhaps.
“Baji-san… It kinda hurts.”
Keisuke remained still for a few more seconds. He straightened some, looking down at the ground.
“Sorry.”
Chifuyu cracked a smile. Not a very convincing one. Keisuke couldn’t bear to look at it. To look at him right now.
This wasn’t nearly enough. There were so many things left to clarify, foggy areas to clear in this story. Because Chifuyu’s behavior in all of this wasn’t normal. His reasoning, the way he acted, why he decided to do what he did, it was almost surrealistic. Nonsensical. Yes, it made no sense. And Keisuke knew that Chifuyu was smart, far smarter than he was behind the cheerful demeanor. Ryusei had told him, Chifuyu’s actions always followed a certain logic, even if it might be somewhat idealistic, too faithful, or plain twisted. Keisuke hadn’t really seen it a lot, but even he could confirm that. Keisuke had to find the logic in all of this mess, because without it, it made no fucking sense.
But right now…
“D’you need help with that?”
He was too tired. And his friend had a bullet wound.
And he just wanted to help.
“I was almost finished. Just need to bandage it.”
“C’me on, I’ll do it for you.”
Chifuyu stared up at him again, with a suspicious shine that Keisuke could not read, and he nodded. It was quiet, as they sat and the blond gave him the white fabric. He worked in silence, trying to be soft despite his ineluctable harshness in everything he ever did.
It was numbing.
“Why were you here?”
Chifuyu’s interrogation wasn’t as full of emotions as it was just before. Keisuke could recognize the honest curiosity in it, through the still somewhat blank exterior.
I was worried.
And rightly so.
“I was trying to write a letter.”
“Oh. Did you need my help?”
“I think we should go to sleep, after that,” Keisuke huffed. “I’ve school tomorrow.”
The corners of Chifuyu’s lips curled up with humor.
“I don’t think either of us will be sleeping tonight.”
Naturally, Keisuke smiled, too.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
*
Why do you blame yourself?
Chifuyu had not answered the question.
How could he?
Because I’m not strong enough.
Because I’m not a good person.
Because, once upon a time, I was strong enough and I still couldn’t do anything to solve it.
Because I’m so fucking helpless I couldn’t stop the Toman you loved so dearly to destroy itself from the inside.
I could do nothing.
Helplessness is my crime.
I hate it so much. I dishonored your memory. Just one mistake and everything I’ve worked for, everything we’ve worked for, everything that was precious to you, to him, to me, all of that disappearing like it never existed.
And I wish I were stronger, a better person, the person you brought me to be when I was just a kid.
Instead I am here, careless with what you’ve left, with what can still be saved, and I feel like such a horrible person because I killed and killed and tortured and hurt and I made mistakes and I put people in danger and I couldn’t save them, I couldn’t save you, and I was caught and I was tortured and I was killed, and I failed. I failed you.
I failed everyone because I’m not strong enough, because I’m not agile enough, not fast enough not good enough, the worst, not- not…
I was not enough.
And I’m still not enough. Because even something as simple as that I still can’t do it right.
Why can’t I do anything right?
Please. Someone help me.
Chifuyu was wrong.
Chifuyu won. He should be proud. He couldn’t forget that he had arrived to the end, even if he was here now.
He couldn’t forget.
Help me.
Notes:
me smashing the keyboard like doing it will make the intensity of the characters’ emotions more obvious: *types violently*
Chapter 11: K: It doesn't fit in at all.
Summary:
Baji and Ryusei speak.
Ryusei doesn't like being right.
Is it worth investigating?
Notes:
Just so everyone knows... the criminals that Chifuyu decimated earlier in the fiction are... less than nothing in the point of view of the author and Chifuyu. Unfortunately for Chifuyu they do exist because I made them, so since they had an intro and a marvelous fight scene that brought hifuyu to light thanks guys, I'll give them an outro too.
But really don't torture your brains apart from that, they're not actually important.PS: you may have noticed but I don't really give names to the characters who either weren't given ones yet in the story or to my side characters... either because the side-characters could just be anyone in the world of Tokyo Revengers and I really don't wanna give them an importance like OCs, or because I don't want to jinx it in case they already have names ready for them by the author. I'm trying to be smooth about it lol
Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Baji kicked a bin.
The bin fell.
Ryusei slurped loudly.
“This is so frustrating!” yelled the older boy.
Ryusei blinked.
What is?
For some reason, Baji had been irritated all day. Ryusei would bet his hand that it was in relation to Chifuyu again, because that was the very same reason he acted weirdly three days before. Though this time it seemed slightly different, because Baji didn’t even try to hide how worried he was. If this was indeed worry, for Ryusei had rarely seen his captain so worked up.
He slurped from his drink again, sprawled on the bench as he watched Baji pass his nerves on the innocent bin and cars. He decided he would only intervene if Baji decided to set one or the other on fire. Otherwise, it was none of his business.
Yes, Ryusei liked to lie to himself.
Sluuuurp~
“You! Can’t you stop with that fucking noise? It makes me want to hit something!”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow at him.
“You’re already hitting something.”
“I’ll hit you, damn bastard!”
“Very threatening. So now that you’re actually talking to me… Why are you mad again?”
“I’m not mad!”
“You’re right, sorry, only furious.”
Ryusei sighed, this was going nowhere. He sipped slowly from his ice coffee can.
“Gosh, who pissed in your pants today?” he deadpanned. “Don’t tell me it’s actually Chifuyu, the guy could not do anything to enrage you for the life of him.”
Baji violently put his foot down on the very metallic, very defeated bin on the ground, his eyebrows ticking but his features were blank. Ryusei could not see it well, Baji’s back was mostly facing him, but he noticed the pause. He blinked, disbelieving. He waited.
And waited.
And raised both eyebrows to his hairline.
“Wow! I cannot believe this! Chifuyu did something to displease the great Baji! Now that is not something you see every day. I have to know what happened.”
Baji sighed softly, giving one last kick to the fallen furniture and making the trash fly some more, before making his way back to the vending machine. He undid his ponytail and shoved his hands in his pockets. For once, Baji really looked preoccupied. It didn’t happen so often, Ryusei thought as he prepared to take another sip.
“Hey. D’you hear of any group that got illegal guns with ‘em around here currently?”
Thankfully, Ryusei stopped himself before he could drink and choke. Gotta be careful. He hadn’t expected Baji to learn about it so soon, especially since, outside of Toman meetings, he mostly went back home early to study and spend time with his mother.
This is bad, Ryusei thought as he sneaked a glance toward his captain… only to notice the other was side-eying him all along. Baji had to have seen Ryusei’s reaction. The vice-captain couldn’t get out of that one.
“I don’t know how you could’ve heard about it,” he indirectly asked.
“So it’s true.”
Ryusei nodded, staring down at his drink grimly.
“Yeah. One of our guys told me the other day, at the gathering. From the accounts I’ve heard, it’s not really something we can do anything about,” he warned. “Toman’s reckless, but not stupid, we all know we can’t do anything against real criminals with firearms and all that shit. Is that what got you in that fool mood?”
Baji’s steel gaze grew even harder as he stared past his reflection in the glass. Ryusei glanced at him, taking another few sips of his juice, waiting for him to reply.”
“Chifuyu got shot.”
Ryusei choked.
He inhaled sharply in surprise, and felt his throat close on the liquid that burned his trachea. He choked violently on it, struggling to breathe for a moment before he started coughing on instinct, feeling his internal wall hurt as he did. He hic-upped a bit before he could finally breathe after the fit. And even then, he didn’t feel any better.
Because what the heck.
“Who got what?” he spoke up roughly, because he obviously heard wrong.
“Chifuyu. A bullet in the upper left arm. Said he fell upon a bunch of thugs with guns. Said nothing about criminals tho.”
Alright, his mistake, he had in fact heard right. Which brought up the question again: what the actual heck?
“I hope you’re joking,” he gritted between his teeth.
“Do you think I’d fucking joke with something like that?” Baji growled at his reflection in the glass of the vending machine. “I saw it with my own two eyes, saw the damn thing once it was out of the wound, and even bandaged it myself.”
His fists were clenched in his pockets. He set his jaw. And Ryusei looked at him with wide eyes, uncomprehending.
“Is he alright? When was he- Where? What was he doing outside in the first place? I thought he was recovering!”
“He fucking is and that was precisely my question,” Baji growled. “Said he went for a walk. Didn’t even look at me in the eyes when he spoke.”
Ryusei didn’t even know what they were talking about anymore.
“Wait, you’re telling me that Chifuyu was hurt because he met armed criminals by pure accident, and now you’re complaining that he was acting weird over the whole incident?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly it. I’m extremely mad, and he was acting fucking weird, and I was out of my damn league… And now I just want to break something.”
Ryusei frowned. He inhaled, exhaled, and once he felt more composed he put down his can. He didn’t really feel like getting anything else down right now. His stomach was knotted. He sat properly and looked straight up at Baji.
This was serious, and Ryusei would not be able to get anything of this conversation if he didn’t have all the informations. Especially with how messed up everything already sounded.
His bad feeling was bad, in full force.
“Tell me everything, starting from the beginning,” he demanded.
Baji had the merit not to argue.
But when even Baji seemed uncomfortable, it was obviously something bad.
Baji sat next to Ryusei. Staring down at the ground, his hands clasped together on his knees.
“…When I came back from school yesterday, I… Uh. It was later. During the night. Peke J was with me, and I couldn’t sleep so I went to see Chifuyu. Thought he was sleeping.”
Ryusei listened intently. He could see Baji’s eyes moving slightly as though he could vividly visualize the scene, right in front of him again.
“And Chifuyu, he had… He had that white gauze all spread on the floor. Well, not white… And there was a crumpled brownish thing on the ground next to the aid kit… and the sewing kit. There were bottles of… well, pharmaceutic liquids, alcohol or painkiller or plain old disinfectants. There was a black jacket with a hole in it, a bit discolored, on the bed, and he’d torn his shirt around the arm and below. It was- uh, the gauze, the jacket and the shirt, and Chifuyu too, there was a lot of red… I mean a lot of blood. For a moment I thought… I thought…”
Ryusei frowned in confusion for another instant, before it dawned on him lightning fast.
Of course. His friend’s older brother. How could Ryusei forget? That trauma must have greatly influenced how he remembered the scene he was describing now. Ryusei debated on patting the back of his captain, but thought better of it in the end.
“What happened?” he said, gently, instead.
“I… he tried to hide everything when he saw me.”
Ryusei flattened his lips, feeling like this might’ve been unusual behavior…
Wait. Why had Chifuyu been treating his injury at home instead of going to a hospital? Did he not know how dangerous that could be? Not just the hemorrhage, but the metal of the bullet. If it was still inside the limb, did it mean it touched a bone?
“Unusual,” he ended up commenting.
“Yeah. So I confronted him. It was like pulling teeth. I thought I would get nothing out of him. That’s almost the most stubborn I’ve ever seen being. Because nothing really beats getting beaten up and still asking to be friends. But yesterday night was…”
“It’s like if your name hadn’t been ‘Baji-san’, Chifuyu would have told you nothing at all,” Ryusei took a guess, understanding.
“…Yeah. That. He told me he found them in the shady parts of the city, didn’t even give a reason why he was there. Wanting some quiet… I call bullshit, it can’t be only that.”
Ryusei didn’t like that information. Baji was right, what had Chifuyu been doing down there? Had he actually been asking to be raped or assassinated in some dark corner? Nah, Chifuyu wasn’t suicidal, and while he was aware of his own strengths, he still wouldn’t go looking for a fight in such a disrepute place without a valid reason.
Which was actually all the more concerning, in hindsight.
“And then he said he hadn’t wanted me to know…”
Especially if Chifuyu didn’t want to tell anyone about what he’d been doing there. Ryusei didn’t like at all where all of this was going. His gaze softened for a moment. Baji didn’t speak at all of what he was feeling, never did. But Ryusei could read between the lines. Baji had felt as though Chifuyu didn’t trust him.
“And then something weird happened.”
Ryusei blinked, brought back to the matter at hand.
Baji’s hands squeezed each other stuck between his knees. He wasn’t looking down anymore. His jaw were clenched and his eyes intently focused on an invisible point forward.
Then, Baji told him about what happened afterward.
In no uncertain terms, he spoke of a complete loss of control, a breakdown that Ryusei would have liked to be able to attribute to the traumatizing wound, but couldn’t, at least not completely. Baji spoke of Chifuyu’s unnatural shame and also…
“‘Like a gun is a big deal’, he said,” Baji recounted, his voice sounding haunted. “He wasn’t even joking. That bastard.”
The implications of that were enough to shock Ryusei’s mind into silence for a moment.
Then it kickstarted even harder, buzzing with a thousand thoughts that Ryusei could not even keep track of himself.
“What.”
“He…”
“Baji, what.”
“Get a fucking grip, Ryusei,” the other ended up growling. “I’m not finished.”
Right. Listen first, talk after.
Just what.
“I don’t get it. Even now I still don’t get it, especially since Chifuyu looked straight into my eyes and confirmed to me he was never shot before. But it was weird, and it’s wrong and I still remember he was so careful when he talked about it, as though there were some wrong options in the lot-”
“How’d you know he didn’t lie?” Ryusei couldn’t stop himself.
Baji stared at him in the eyes harshly.
“Don’t say you can’t tell when Chifuyu’s lying, stupid, I wouldn’t believe you. I’ve had enough examples from all the stupid fights you two get in for literally no reason. And why’d he bother avoiding actually saying relevant stuff if he was lying all along?”
Ryusei conceded the point.
“Anyway, at some point he point blank told me he had dishonored me and couldn’t bear to have me look at him right then.”
He dropped his head in his hand then, and Ryusei watched anxiously as his nails dug into the skin of his face.
“I just… I just don’t know what to do. I don’t get it, Ryusei. Is there something I’m doing wrong?”
The tired desperation in those last few words made something squeeze painfully in Ryusei’s chest. He didn’t know what exactly. It didn’t feel good.
It felt like something was slowly creeping toward all of them and they just couldn’t see it, whatever it was.
He passed a hand in his hair.
“It’s not your fault, Baji.”
Baji nodded, without any conviction.
“It’s not,” Ryusei insisted, standing up and putting his hands in his pockets. “Chifuyu has been acting strangely ever since he got sick… Not just sick, in fact.”
Ryusei grasped at the concerns he had been avoiding for days now, feeling awful that that his hunch might have been right.
The situation they found themselves in fit quite well with his initial concern. Yet… it seemed the picture wasn’t complete anymore. Something was missing there. Something more. Yes.
When Ryusei inspected the events of the strange Thursday once again, he realized that there had been more to it that they had thought. Sickness caused tears and sweat, and hyperventilation… but generally not panic. Yet Chifuyu had been so panicked he had not even recognized Ryusei and Baji when they came to his side. It had been terrifying, because for dozens of minutes on end, Chifuyu had struggled against his grip, gasping unintelligible cries and simply breathing so loud deep and fast he might have induced himself the next wave of nausea back then.
For all they had seen each other beaten black and blue, in fool moods and even fearful, Ryusei had never seen Chifuyu like that.
It had been so out of the blue.
Back then, Ryusei had blamed himself for not noticing the apathy Chifuyu had displayed during the entirety of that day.
Ryusei deconstructed all the pieces of the puzzle one by one, disassembling them to be met once again with just that. Pieces. Incomprehensible pieces spread in front of his mind’s eyes, making no sense at all.
Chifuyu had called him a friend.
The apathy had still been here after.
Chifuyu had opened his window to them before they knocked, but never came to the door.
The behavior was different. Slightly. Bits and slips.
Ryusei undid the simple tapestry he had had at the back of his mind for a while now, thread by thread, inspecting them carefully before putting them one next to another, in no particular order.
Chifuyu getting shot and feeling ashamed of the inability to hold his own against grown men who were obviously stronger than him… probably.
His friend telling him about the criminals…
These hadn’t fitted in.
The police.
“You said Chifuyu called the police?” he inquired with a frown.
“Uh… Yeah. He told me that.”
Ryusei debated their options in his mind. Just as his friend had told him just the day before, messing with actual criminals wasn’t something they should be doing. Toman was a police for delinquents so to say, with their ideals to create a new era and their moral principles. But they weren’t enough to deal with that kind of shit. It wasn’t their area of influence, and that should remain so.
Yet Ryusei had this undying curiosity. To solve this mystery, it would be better to get the story from the other part. If Chifuyu told the police, they probably had a record of it. But then, if Chifuyu really called the police, how did he manage to go home with an untreated wound? This part didn’t make sense.
“How many had guns?”
“How would I know? Maybe all.”
If that was the case, Chifuyu wouldn’t have waited for the police, his self-preservation instincts at the very least would have pushed him to flee the danger as soon as possible. But knowing Chifuyu… imagining there had been someone else, he would have stayed to help them, or if there had been no one, he might have escaped but followed them afterward. It didn’t make sense for Chifuyu who had that crazy moral compass to leave dangerous people in the city where they could hurt anyone. It should be the logical course of actions to flee then report it, but no, Ryusei knew that idiot just couldn’t leave things like that or it would weight on his consciousness.
Which meant Chifuyu did not leave. But he did not meet the officers.
“Was he hurt anywhere else?”
“I wouldn’t say so.”
Second option was most likely then. Did the criminal organization in question even get caught? Ryusei just couldn’t reconstitute what must have happened.
It was all too bizarre.
“Ryusei,” he heard the deep tone of his captain almost like a growl.
He turned to see Baji had taken off the glasses, side glaring up at him from where he held himself down on the bench.
“What exactly are you on?”
It was simply not a good idea.
Still, Ryusei couldn’t stop himself.
“If we’re not going to get what happened from Chifuyu, might as well try somewhere else,” he replied cryptically. “I’m calling someone, give me just a minute. Where’s Chifuyu right now, by the way?”
Baji’s features hardened into an ugly scowl once more.
“Heck if I know. We ended up having a sleepover, but when I woke up, he was fucking gone. I thought I’d find him at school but…”
No such luck.
One more piece of the puzzle to elucidate.
“Alright. Just wait, I’m gonna…”
Before he could finish the sentence, his flip phone began to ring.
Talk about timing. Ryusei smirked seeing the name on the pixelized screen, before picking up.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Ryusei. Do you have a moment to talk?”
“Actually I was about to call you,” he told him, before holding the phone away to explain to Baji, whose scowl had turned confused, “He’s the one who told me about the group Chifuyu got mixed up with yesterday… So do you remember when you told me about the illegal firearm traffic?”
“… Woah, wait a second. Did I just hear Chifuyu’s name? Why’re you asking about this? Don’t tell me…”
The laugh Ryusei let out was dark, humorless, as he stepped away from Baji. He started walking toward the greens of the parc.
“Just as you predicted. Even on bedrest, the guy can’t stop himself from finding trouble.”
“Is he okay? I’d hate to think the little shit took a stray bullet by accident in the middle of that mess they made.”
Ryusei frowned, almost disregarding the question entirely.
“Yeah, he’s, uh but…, wait a second, what mess are you talking about?”
This conversation smelled like no good. It was already turning sour apparently.
“That’s actually what I was calling you about… Those guys I told you about yesterday, they’ve been in custody since last night.”
Last night? Strange.
“Chifuyu said he called the police. Did they catch that org?”
“It’s more complicated than that… The police can’t really touch them right now. Not one, not even the boss.”
Ryusei stopped walking.
“Why? Are they high in the financial hierarchy or something?” he raised an eyebrow at nothing.
“Nah, men. These guys are very new around here. I don’t know what organization sent them abroad, but they’re newcomers tryna do their business somewhere new and influential. Unknown blokes.”
Ryusei’s impatience started rising, right up there with his bad feeling making itself known once more.
“Then what?” he shot drily, letting his annoyance pierce through. “Honestly if I don’t get good news right now I won’t be able to stop the captain from chasing them down himself to disfigure them.”
“Baji knows?”
“Not the damn topic. Get on tracks.”
“Yeah, yeah… I’ll tell you, but don’t you both care do stupid shit. It’s gonna difficult to do worse at any rate but you could try. Those guys…”
“They’re all at the hospital right now.”
Notes:
I read somewhere that someone actually do agree with me about Chifuyu not smiling much at all except to Takemichi and in his memories of Baji! I'm so glad it's not just my imagination!
Also Chifuyu has beautiful eyes even though they're sad, even in vibrancy.
Chapter 12: A: The bastard with the hood.
Summary:
Baji and Ryusei investigate.
What they find causes unrest in their souls.
As for Chifuyu... he has no choice but to go forward, always.
Notes:
This girl lives under a two day long connexion web cut-off, and the only thing left to do is writing... she ends up sleeping all afternoon.
Her after: why!!!
Chapter Text
Chifuyu felt bad, slipping away that morning.
Upon arriving at his apartment the night before, he didn’t know why he forgot his initial plan to leave for the abandoned theater to treat his wound. Perhaps old habit had taken over. He had found himself in a reliable hideout where he knew no one could hurt him, he had been tired, and instincts had done the rest.
Now Chifuyu remembered why this had been such a bad idea. He had woken very early morning, and he had watched his closest friend sleep on, next to him.
“Baji-san…”
The last time he had seen Baji so peaceful just as he had been then and three days before was… the 31rd of October 2005.
His heart clenched painfully in his chest.
This was a miracle… and a reminder.
Chifuyu yearned for this. He longed for what he had thought he could never have again. That which was in front of him. Around him, every day. All of this. It felt so real…
So far away too.
Chifuyu couldn’t. Not yet, if ever.
He had to make sure this would still exist the next day. The one after. The next month. And after. For two years. Three. Ten, twenty- no, thirty more at the very least.
“You hear that,” he murmured, caressing his best friend’s cheek, tucking a lock away, “you’re not allowed to die before you turn sixty. I won’t let you.”
He remained longer that he wished he had.
“So basically these guys were found in someone’s shop, all of them tied together. The shop was roughened up, so the owners will be compensated. Testimonies said that after the group got in the place, really soon the poor citizens living there had enough of their terrorizing and they somehow managed to bash all of them heads in. They didn’t stop here. The criminals kinda look like victims with how hard they’ve been beaten up afterward. Some of them, actually a large part of them have bullets wounds in the legs, but they all need that hospital ‘cause of the beating wounds. The guys they harassed down in the suburbs really had enough of them… Someone called the police somewhere in that, which is why they’re in custody even though the police can’t really access the criminals for questioning. The suburbs inhabitants led the guys to the criminals’ base, where there were stored all kinda fireweapons, though not as much as one might imagine. Both the shop and the base are still in observation until the case is solved. The dirty money was found in the shop with them- the strong box in which it was kept was bloodied, I wouldn’t have liked being one of these assholes. The guys who are actually awake refuse questioning from the police but they might not be averse to talking to others- wait, who exactly do you think I am?”
Ryusei smiled awkwardly.
“Our informant?” he suggested. “Thank you for finding the name of the hospital they’re in.”
“You better, be grateful. You know that’s not actually my job? Do you know what’s gonna happen if the commander finds out that I’ve been looking around fishy things for you? If the commander gets his nose into it then all of Toman will end up getting involved- and for what!”
Ryusei clapped his shoulder reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, mate. Detective Baji is on the case.”
“From what Chuu tells me about it, this is not reassuring at all, Ryusei!”
“I’m on the case too?”
“…Make an effort, man, please,” his tall blonde friend begged him resignedly.
“Ahah, Sorry for that. But we’re really grateful,” Ryusei assured him, turning himself halfway toward Baji behind him who was inspecting the hospital with a bothered look on his face. “It’s already fantastic that you got all of that for us. I’d mistake you for some private detective if I didn’t know better.”
The older man stared at him with raised eyebrows. He ended up sighing after a few moments spent alternating looking at Ryusei and their common captain mumbling to himself in the background.
“Alright, I give up. Do what you want. Get revenge for the little shit or whatever, just don’t do anything too stupid.”
“Don’t worry, we’re just going to question them if we’re allowed to.”
Ryusei wasn’t surprised when the other sent him a disbelieving glare. Of course he would worry, it was Baji. And of course Baji wouldn’t just leave if he was told to, it was Baji.
But hopefully, everything would go right. As right as it could be.
“Just text when you’re done. Don’t get the other divisions involved, it’d be such a mess. I’m leaving.”
“Thanks for the info and the location!”
The young man hopped back onto his motorcycle and left with only a few mumbles. Ryusei could only pity his friend. They were difficult to deal with, Ryusei was quite aware.
He turned back to Baji.
“What’s the long face for?” he inquired.
The ugly grimace on Baji’s face worsened.
“I’m just thinking it’s so stupid that I can’t even break their faces because they’re already in a hospital.”
“Well, at least they don’t have weapons? So you could try.”
“Really?”
“No,” Ryusei backed down on his joke after seeing the genuinely elated glow of his captain. “Please don’t.”
“Tsk. Let’s get in.”
That was how Ryusei and Baji found themselves entering one hospital a ride away from their home, still in the middle of Shibuya, while the sun was still up. For seemingly no reason, since none of their friends was kept inside.
Admittedly, maybe one of them should be.
Thanks to the help of the first division, they managed to acquire enough information to locate the people involved in the case… even if they still didn’t know what neighborhood these had been found in. That information was seemingly out of reach for middle schoolers. Not that any of the other stuff should have been accessible to middle schoolers.
Yet, the hardest was to come.
“Hello, we’re here to visit some people,” Ryusei was the image of polite when he spoke to the receptionist. “The most recently admitted, I heard.”
He was met with a suspicious look.
“Are you from the police?”
The question came out of the blue but… Ryusei could understand why.
“No, why?” he made his best attempt at innocence… and he knew he was good at it.
Though it wasn’t quite enough to convince the receptionist. They kept a side glance on them as they checked their monitor.
“Name, please?”
Yes, thanks all the gods in existence for the first division’s help, Ryusei suspected someone had a friend in the last division… that or they should be part of it instead.
They had the names.
Some at least.
The receptionist couldn’t really stop them now unless the patients themselves refused contact.
“Alright. I’ll tell you the room numbers.”
Thankfully Baji managed to hold back on his muttered threats the whole walk to said rooms. Ryusei was so proud of his entire division right now. Seriously, why were they part of a lame-ass gang when they could be informant for whatever authority organizations out there?
Just kidding, of course. Riusey would never.
They walked quietly and inconspicuously until they reached their destination Ryusei poked his head in to check for nurses before Baji could barge in and do something stupid to get them expelled. Good thing was, there was no one standing in the room. Ryusei winced when he saw the faces of the patients. Whoever beat them up after they were caught hadn’t really been gentle.
Second good thing was, one of the blokes was awake.
Bad thing was, he looked ready to press a button, one that was most likely going to call a nurse in.
Ryusei waved.
“Hello~”
“Who’re you bastards? If you’re with the pigs…”
“Wow! No need for threats! We’re all friends here, right?”
That got Baji growling. Ryusei elbowed him before the older boy could ruin his efforts. Of course they weren’t friends and obviously they’d rather bash the guy’s head against the wall rather than speak cordially, but life was made of small sacrifices.
“Are you?”
“We’re not. Hoodlum’s honor.”
“Oh. Then you’re part of those annoying pissy rats, huh?”
Ryusei blinked confused.
“What rats? Uh, anyway we’re really not. I’ve just come here because, between the afternoon and the moment you got caught, you might’ve seen one of our friends…?”
He voiced that as a tentative question, as it would be a rather bad idea to antagonize their only source of information from the get go. But the criminal didn’t seem to catch the bait.
“Ah?” he snarled. “How’d we do that? We were just minding our business.”
Your very illegal business.
“The only guys we saw yesterday were the rats from the suburbs and…”
Ryusei perked up.
“And?” he exhorted the other to answer.
But then he noticed how hard the other’s fist was clutching the sheets of the bed. With gritted teeth, the patient spat out a few words.
“That fucktard bastard with the hood! That asshole, he’s the one who shot my leg!”
Ryusei blinked. The what now? That didn’t sound like Chifuyu. Probably another criminal lurking around. But before Ryusei could insist some more, Baji’s eyelashes ticked, and he took a few steps inside the room, looking threatening yet a bit blank. Unusual.
“The bastard with the hood?” he reiterated, a tint of interrogation in the words.
“Yeah… You know him?”
“Depends. Describe him to me.”
Ryusei stared at Baji with wide eyes. The older boy could not possibly believe it was Chifuyu, right? It was too far-fetched.
“Uh. I wouldn’t really know, it was too dark.”
“Then how the fuck do you expect me to know, you shit?”
“Baji! Calm down, goddamn…”
“I’ll make you eat your words!”
“Guys, please!”
“What height, at least?”
The criminal paused for a moment, reminiscing.
“Kinda small,” he said after some time. “Smaller than you. He appeared frailer too. But strong. And stealthy. That bastard with the hood fucking knows how to use weapons. Nobody expected something like that to happen.”
He mumbled to himself then:
“Might not be a coincidence that literally no one died in that shitshow… Anyway, what’s your friend like? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I didn’t see him anywhere yesterday. Unless he got mixed up with the rats.”
Baji and Ryusei looked at each other.
“Blond. With an earring that glints in the dark,” Baji volunteered a few scraps of info.
“Don’t know anything about an earring. Blond might be the color though. Otherwise, haven’t met anyone like that in the streets.”
“Shot no one either?”
“The only ones who got shot during that disaster were our own men.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” someone else interrupted.
They all turned to another patient who just woke up in the room. He had been hit so much his face was unrecognizable, if only Ryusei had seen him before which he was certain he hadn’t.
“What?”
“Ya didn’t see what happened during the wild goose chase. By the end of it, one landed a hit on the shit. I’d give so much money to get that asshole under bars too, now. But no one knows where he went or what he even wanted to do by trapping us. Only knows he’s the one who called the police, I reckon that’s how he escaped the place in time before anyone could find him.”
“Somebody did? Lemme thank them, tell me that guy died.”
“Didn’t. Too smart for that.”
Ryusei titled his head. He wasn’t keen on reminding them of his presence, in case they stopped speaking, but it seemed as long as they weren’t police, they didn’t mind talking about what happened the day before… as long as it didn’t involve their own business, at least.
“How so?”
The older man turned to them with a hostile grimace on his features.
“Smart like you wouldn’t want to meet him face to face. The little shit managed to provoke an entire group of armed people into one on one fights until he had all of us exactly where he wanted to. I don’t even know why he did that, since they found our base too, as I heard… Left the money as evidence, so I don’t know what he got from that. The suburb’s recognition? Gratitude? What’d he do with it?”
“What suburb was it?”
“None ya business.”
Not helping.
“At any rate, whoever that was, it was a damn good fighter. You can’t deny him that. Lots of survival instincts, I personally only saw that level of experience overseas. Don’t know how he’d hold in a fair hoodlum fight like you said you were, but in all or nothing I don’t think we’d have beat him, especially with the element of surprise with him. Just like you said, even though we were ‘round forty against him, he managed not to kill any of us, that’s some skill. We wouldn’t have gotten him.”
Baji nodded slowly. Ryusei’s head was spinning. This was a lot of information. A lot of it didn’t make sense either. But with two people giving their testimony, what else was there to say?
Had Chifuyu been lying?
Had he encountered a different group of criminals?
They left with even more questions than they arrived with.
“Do you know any blond guy who would be able to crush an entire pack of armed buddies, Baji?” Ryusei asked the silent middle schooler once they left the hospital. “Because last news I’ve got Chifuyu wasn’t able to do that.”
“Mikey could,” Baji mumbled. “Draken too. Well, maybe not armed. It might not even be one of our owns…”
“Could be that blond guy from the last generation of Black Dragons, what do you think?”
“Like Draken, he’s too tall. He’s like your size, if I eyeball it well.”
“Okay… But seriously, just because Chifuyu matches the profile doesn’t mean it’s him.”
“Yeah. Could be Mikey. But there are contradicting elements. So…”
Ryusei followed Baji to both of their bikes, curious as to his captain’s course of actions.
“So what now?”
“Now we confront Chifuyu.”
Ryusei almost choked on air.
“Wait wait wait! Are you crazy! What says he tells you the truth? What says we’ll even be talking about the same situation? We might have confused everything badly! What’ll we do then?”
Baji got on his Goki, shaking his head as he went.
“If Chifuyu’s not involved, he’ll tell us.”
“With how weird he’s been acting? By your own words!”
“And I don’t like it when we can’t go to the point! I’ll just recount to him all that we’ve heard and I’ll ask him if he has anything to clarify to that. That shouldn’t be too complicated.”
Without letting Ryusei any time to resume the argument, Baji kickstarted the motor and flew down the road with his motorcycle, leaving Ryusei behind. Ryusei had no choice but to follow Baji quickly if he didn’t want to lose him.
“Okay. To Chifuyu’s uh? I have to stop that idiot from doing something stupid.”
But truly, Ryusei should really be there this time. Baji, as he had so well shown during his near breakdown from earlier, was not equipped to talk with Chifuyu right now. Especially if this really had nothing to do with the criminals’ case, which would only mean that Chifuyu is extremely messed up on an unknown level…
Ryusei shook his head, ridding himself of such worrying thoughts and made his own bike roar.
Unfortunately, there was no one to confront there.
“For fuck’s sake!”
Ryusei heard Baji shouts from the other side of the apartment. He stared back at Chifuyu’s mother, who he had been greeting to make up for his captain’s lack of esteem. He looked at her with uncertainty.
Everything was so sudden.
“Matsuno-san… Is your son not home?” He was almost afraid to ask.
“…Boys. As I was telling you, Chifuyu is at a friend’s for the rest of the week. He has my authorization, why are you so worried?”
“Did he tell you who?”
“Yes. Although I don’t recall hearing the name before, he even gave an address, just in case I was concerned.”
“Do you remember what address?” there was a strange urgency in Baji’s voice as he appeared from Chifuyu’s room, still breathing fast from the previous race, and so very obviously angered…
Or was it worry?
“Mh… He told me the name of his friend was Takemichi. He really told me the address out of precaution, sweet child… I’m sorry, I think he left a note with the address on it, but I don’t remember where he left it. Come back tomorrow, I’ll have found it by then. But in the meantime, why don’t you call him?”
Nothing of it felt any good to Ryusei.
Still, he bowed to the lady.
“Thank you. I’m sure Baji will be back tomorrow if Chifuyu doesn’t answer. Have a good night, we’re sorry to have bothered you. You must be tired.”
“It’s fine if it’s for you two. Come by anytime.”
Just like that, Ryusei pulled Baji out the door, leaving the poor lady to rest in her own home without interruption.
When he turned to Baji afterward, the older boy was already waiting with his flip phone to his ear, his foot tapping the ground in obvious impatience. Ryusei stared, disheartened, as Baji ended up gritting his teeth in frustration, almost throwing the phone down to the floor where it not for Ryusei stopping him.
The rough words that escaped the long-haired young man were so close to those that were looping in his mind like a goddamn fireman alarm.
“Out of all times… What do you think you’re doing right now, Chifuyu?”
Truly, Ryusei could only agree.
Why now, of all times, when things seemed like they could not be woven away from each other, all knotted together in an ineligible messy lot, with no sense whatsoever?
Was it a coincidence?
“Baji… You’re getting far too worked up.”
“Chifuyu is fucking hurt! What’s he doing out there!”
“Baji!”
Ryusei punched his captain.
The bluntness of it all finally got the young man to calm himself down, if only for a few instants. And thank all the gods and yokai entities for that, if it meant Ryusei wasn’t going to deal with an irrational Baji Keisuke.
That was the last thing he wanted to do that day.
“This is weird,” he admitted, his tone just as worked up as the other, if only more contained, “I’ll give you that. It’s fishy, and I too want to get to the bottom of this as fast as possible, before this creates a chaos that none of us can stop. But you need to keep your head cool, Baji.”
Baji was looking at him now, with wide eyes, almost unseeing. Ryusei let out a loud breath.
“Listen. Whatever’s happening, Chifuyu still respects you more than anyone out there. You’re still his goddamn captain, even if he, too, starts to get into stupid shit like I don’t know how many of us idiots from the first division. And as his captain, it’s your responsibility to help in that shit… and that means remaining level-headed. You got that?”
Ryusei frowned at Baji, who ended up nodding numbly.
Ryusei didn’t know when it started raining. Looking at the sky, he cursed internally. This was definitely not helping his inner chaos.
Probably not Baji’s either.
He passed a hand in his light hair before grabbing Baji’s collar.
“Now. If you don’t go back to your own apartment, take some goddamn needed sleep and think all of this over with a fresh head in the morning, without catching sickness in between, I swear to you, Baji, that I will hit you again.”
There was silence. Nothing but the rain falling.
Ryusei kept his searing glare anchored right into the taller boy’s eyes.
The status quo was kept still for at least a few minutes. It was so, until Baji finally recovered. He batted his vice-captain’s hand away harshly, although with far less fury than earlier.
“You say that as though you could beat me.”
Ryusei let him pass.
He stayed there, and only looked away after seeing Baji enter his own home.
He sighed once more, shielding his eyes from the rain.
Baji was right anyway.
For fuck’s sake, Chifuyu. What do you think you’re doing?
He knew for a fact Chifuyu knew no Takemichi.
Chifuyu smiled at the stupidly made mini-manual that he had taken out from inside the tape’s envelop, hidden in its mechanisms.
“Couldn’t be clearer, Draken?”
He almost laughed, before the urge to cry made him press his lips one against the other. He was almost done anyway. Only a few more installations and he could start.
This was very cleverly done. Chifuyu could only admire the genius of Naoto, the mechanic smarts of Draken, and the long suffering of all the others that came before him.
Seriously, how stupid could they all be. It made him feel nostalgic.
As though they were all here with him again.
“Done. Now, as per this shitty manual, everything should work now…”
“Then, let us begin.”
Chapter 13: Z: Chifuyu pulled a Ryusei.
Summary:
Chifuyu did what he must.
Time to go home. For now...
But what about Baji? How long has it been?
Notes:
Okay I feel like I haven't updated in AGES when not at all, I was just so busy with the other Chifuyu 'one shot' of which I just posted the first chapter... Kinda satisfied with it, go check it. Here's the new chapter! Tell me what you think of it!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Where the fuck are you going, Mikey?”
“I told you. I’m leaving.”
“You can’t be serious. Where will you go with a bag?”
Mikey whipped around to meet the dark eyes of his friends.
“Maybe it’s not any of your business, Ken-chin.”
Draken didn’t back down, quite the contrary. The unusual behavior of his childhood friend only fire up his temper.
“Do you hear what you’re saying right now? For fuck’s sake, first you disband Toman out of the blue, now you’re doing your bags- sorry, your one stupid bag, and now you tell me it’s not any of my business? I seriously don’t get what you’re trying to do here.”
Mikey sighed.
“Look, I don’t care what you understand or not. Just… I’ll keep in touch, alright?”
But before he could make it to the door, Draken passed him and stood to guard it.
“Liar. You know you’re not going to.”
Mikey’s eyes narrowed.
“Ken-chin. Let me pass.”
But Draken was just as stubborn.
“…Is it about Takemicchi’s time travel?”
Mikey froze.
“So it is.”
He kept silent, refusing to relinquish a single crumb of information. It didn’t stop Draken from going on, with palpable irritation.
“You know it’s not because you leave that suddenly everything will be fine, right?”
“You don’t know that,” replied the other drily.
Draken snapped.
“Well you don’t fucking know either, do you?!”
Mikey’s features betrayed his surprise. He looked at Draken, truly looked… He saw the tears in his eyes, the quivering in his extended hands, the clench in the gritted teeth.
All those things he didn’t want to see.
There was a lull.
Draken tried to regain some of his countenance. But his eyes betrayed him.
“Let’s find a solution together. Alright? Mikey.”
Mikey bit his lip. Truthfully, he didn’t want to do this either. How he wanted to stay right here, and believe Draken. To trust him, trust that everything would be fine, and that they would solve everything, together. Just like they always did.
But then, words echoed in his ears, imagined pictures of that same person he trusted so much dead because of him, because he would kill him, flashed in front of his eyes.
He closed his eyes, resigned.
“I’m leaving, Draken. Don’t try to stop me.”
He took a step forward. He couldn’t bear to stare as Draken’s features lit up once more with fury, and a sort of desperation he didn’t want to see addressed to him ever again.
“Do you not listen to a single world I said!?”
“You can’t understand.”
“Then make me understand!” he shouted, making Mikey jolt. “I swear, Mikey, that I won’t let you through before you explain yourself to me!”
“I already told you, I-”
“Fucking look at me when you speak to me!”
Mikey almost took a step back.
That, he couldn’t do. Not when he knew what the other’s expression would be. He couldn’t stand it. He might actually change his mind if he did.
He gritted his teeth, feeling everything about to burst out of him.
“Then do I have to fight you or should I just take the goddamn window, Draken!”
“Just stop this absurdity Mikey, do you have any idea what Emma would think if she saw your stupid face right now-”
“Don’t fucking talk to me about Emma you bastar- Ouch!”
Mikey’s hand flew to the top of his head just as the both of them heard a sound, something falling quietly to the floor.
Huh. Something…
Something had just hit him.
Draken was frozen, confused. He was staring down. Mikey, following his example, searched the ground with his eyes. Immediately, he found the unusual thing which had collapsed on his head. Except there was nothing but the ceiling above his head. It couldn’t have come from there.
He kneeled to pick up the fallen item. This… didn’t belong to him.
“…Huh?”
“A… a film tape.”
They both stared at the small, fragile thing, resting in Mikey’s palm. Draken frowned at it, through his friend’s fingers.
“Mikey, turn it over. There’s something on the other side.”
Mikey, numb from their previous fight, did so silently. Draken was right, he realized.
“It’s a label.”
He brushed his thumb on it, delicately, as he read the words tainted with a brownish color that Mikey could recognize amidst thousands of others by now. It was blood.
“To… the Tokyo Manji-Kai.”
“What?” Draken asked in confusion, in the quiet of the room.
“…That’s what it says.”
“Let me check it.”
There was no mistake.
The label read, with a nice handwriting that seemed so mundane, one wouldn’t guess there was something so special about it. So precious… and fragile.
‘To the Tokyo Manji-Kai’
To Toman… which Mikey had only just disbanded.
Draken raised his head to look Mikey in the eyes.
“Let’s settle down for now… and let’s watch it.”
Mikey’s eyes remained glued to the bloodied tape. Soft… numb.
“Yeah. Let’s watch it.”
“In the end, Toman… Toman is simply a complex game of belonging.”
Chifuyu leaned against the wall… and breathed.
He felt as though he hadn’t seen the light of day for weeks… This large room almost seemed claustrophobic, now, in comparison to how vast and quiet it had felt earlier.
Now, it was filled with echoes, phantom sounds made of his own voice and the memories he reminisced. It felt like this room had recorded everything he had given it… and now he felt those same echoes, giving it a mind, eyes, judging him.
As though Chifuyu hadn’t been judging himself enough already. He laughed at it.
“Yeah, judge me all you can… I just did what I needed to do.”
Now he was at this point where he started talking alone to the empty space. It was proof of how mental this place was driving him. He was going insane.
It was crazy how all these people thought he could do it. He hadn’t thought he was so reliable. In fact, with how much his very own captains didn’t tell him, he thought that he might just be untrustworthy. And then this stuff dropped on him.
One more time and he’d think the world liked to put responsibilities on his shoulders just for fun.
He shook his head. That was exhaustion talking, he thought to himself with a dry chuckle. He hadn’t eaten a lot while in in the abandoned theater. With what he’d been doing… what he’d been talking about… every time he had looked at what he had brought with him he had just wanted to throw up.
But strangely enough, the activity had also been… liberating. Words held acceptance, after all. And Chifuyu had been surrounded by nothing but his own words. Speaking of what he hadn’t allowed himself to express, what he had kept to himself for more than a decade.
It was tiring, but freeing too.
Distantly, he could still remember where he was. Outside this room. How long again? He should probably check later. His flip phone had gone dead hours- days? Days ago. He had been forced to put it out earlier because of all the ringtones it kept on spewing.
Chifuyu blinked. Thinking about it. All his missed calls were probably from Baji and Ryusei. These two… Chifuyu wondered how worried they must’ve been, to call him so much. Were they angry, or had they already forgotten?
Generally, when Takemichi called him repeatedly, it was because he couldn’t handle a task on his own, needing at least Chifuyu’s support if nothing else. He remembered how the younger one would always yell nervously at him to join him at whichever location he was in.
The little things. Those that made it impossible for Chifuyu to out him, in the end. At least, in his own timeline.
He was starting to have trouble making the distinction between his own, the sixth timeline, and the main time stream… which he wasn’t supposed to have lived in. Yet here he was, with memories of both. Feeling them as they began to merge in one single identity. He didn’t know what to make of it.
He’d given Takemichi’s past address to his mother, so that she wouldn’t worry about his whereabouts. Mostly she was probably too busy by her time and energy-consuming work to have the time to go there on her own if she was indeed worried. The worst she could do was send Baji and Ryusei, if they still went by… And he had an inkling that those two wouldn’t worry his mother either.
Hopefully to them, he was still on the limit of being an annoyingly rebellious delinquent. To be honest with himself, his behavior had probably crossed that line the moment he came back with a bullet wound but hey. Didn’t it happen to Kakucho as well at some point? After Izana’s death. Coming back all bloodied wasn’t that big of a deal at the end of the day, at least not for the gang hoodlums of Tokyo.
See? I’m mixing everything again.
…Chifuyu should probably go home for now. The guys of the suburbs would take care of his material.
He set his eyes on the two connected tapes in front of him, behind all said material. Only one of them was labeled, ‘Chifuyu private’. The other was entirely blackened, even the part that weren’t supposed to be. Whichever label it possessed before, all traces of its past presence had long been removed. Long before it reached Chifuyu. Spots of crusted, unremovable dry blood, and Chifuyu could only guess which of them it belonged to. It was a game he didn’t like to play.
He stared at the gun at his belt, losing himself in his own head…
He shook his head.
Hid the guns.
Took both tapes.
And left.
Keisuke banged his fist on the table, with a frustrated roar.
That was how all his days had been since the last time he had seen Chifuyu. Frustrating. Angry. Full of waiting and impatience, and Ryusei becoming just as anxious as he was.
“It’s been fucking eight days! What’s that dumbass doing!” he yelled.
Thankfully at an empty classroom. Skipping physical education. But he wasn’t quite alone. Ryusei was there, too. He was the one who had emptied the classroom with his charm in the first place. Keisuke was grateful for the fact that the other boy hadn’t gone missing even once during the full duration of Chifuyu’s MIA phase. Speaking of which…
“Did he pull a Ryusei or what!”
“Oi, you know I’m just here right…”
It was all he could think about nowadays. It had been hard enough that time Ryusei had cut bridges with them to join Yotsuya Kaiden without any explanation – though he would never admit it – it was even worse now that he didn’t even know where Chifuyu was or what he was up to. The little fucker had even refused to answer every single one of their calls the second they began.
That had been frustrating.
It had gotten worse, when their blocked calls became missed calls, and they ended up ringing in the void.
Sometimes Keisuke wondered why he hadn’t outed Chifuyu’s absence to his mother. Ryusei and he went to that Takemichi guy the day after they visited the patients at the hospital. It turned out it was only some stupidly brave piss-blond bloke who only mildly reacted to the name of Chifuyu.
“Huh? ‘Chifuyu’? Sounds… familiar. Uh, sorry, I don’t think I know that guy… Seriously, can you get out now?”
Keisuke had gone on a rampage, and Ryusei hadn’t even tried to stop him then.
But Keisuke knew. If it had been him, he wouldn’t have wanted his mother to worry herself into a burn out for him. Getting in trouble was what they did, Keisuke would rather not tell his mother all he had been involved in even just this year. And Ryusei had his own familial and economic situation, he understood.
Now was just left to know what kind of trouble Chifuyu had gotten himself in this time.
Strange… was it usually Chifuyu who got into troubles on his own?
Ryusei sighed.
“You’re right… it’s been a week. No one saw him in the neighborhood or at school since… even longer than that.”
The white-haired boy chuckled.
“Is this what it feels like when I leave out of the blue?” he interrogated Keisuke.
Keisuke only grunted, unwilling to answer. Really, he could have gone all his life without Ryusei getting a taste of his own medicine. Even if he was annoying.
This was different anyway. Chifuyu… He was always following after Keisuke. As though his entire life revolved around Keisuke. It was all too strange now, for Chifuyu to leave on his own like that. It felt like a different matter altogether.
“Something that would warrant Chifuyu leaving your side…” Ryusei mused aloud, clearly on the same wavelength as Keisuke. “It’s probably something he doesn’t want to involve you in. Me either, for that matter. Everything points to something wrong, but…”
Their only lead was the criminal org wipe-out case. All the civil witnesses refused to give any testimony regarding a young-sounding hooded guy, and they wouldn’t even tell them from which neighborhood they came from. Of course, there was a chance that Chifuyu’s instance of being shot and calling the police was a totally different instance than the one which happened later that night. All they knew was that, when the anonymous fighter called the police afterward, the police actually came and picked up the knocked-out criminals.
But it was their only connection between Chifuyu and anything remotely dangerous that he had been involved in recently. Meanwhile the adult Matsuno had told them about one unusual moment involving some sort of movie tape, but Keisuke didn’t see the link.
They had nothing else.
“Should we just call for a meeting?” Ryusei suggested, sounding as tired as Keisuke was frustrated.
The idea made Keisuke pause.
He hadn’t even yet told the first division how Chifuyu had gone missing. Telling Mikey about it… Did it warrant such methods?
It did, of course it did. Keisuke didn’t doubt it. Not when Chifuyu was involved in such shady shit and they had no way to contact him. Asking for help to Toman had actually been a thought he had been holding off for some time.
The real question was, did he really want Mikey and the others involved in this shit? Not only telling the lot of them would make things officially serious… and Keisuke wasn’t sure he was ready for that… but he couldn’t even begin to imagine what they would find if Toman started on the case.
But he guessed this was their business too. Chifuyu was part of the first division, and something had happened to him. Toman had a right to know… especially since Keisuke had already introduced Chifuyu to them in the past.
Still, he hesitated.
Ryusei watched him.
“You… You know you don’t actually need to announce our problem to everyone, right?” the younger boy attempted to reassure him. “We don’t have to make things grand if it makes you uncomfortable… But we really should try to tell someone now. Even if it’s just your friends.”
Yeah. Draken and Mitsuya, Pah-Chin and Mikey. Just his circle. He might feel better if he had their help and support in this, obviously. But well, he wasn’t sure whether he trusted Mikey not to make a big deal out of it.
Who was he kidding, this was already a big deal!
“Okay.”
Keisuke decided. He realized that, as involved as he already was emotionally-speaking, he probably wouldn’t know if it actually warranted such concern and measures. But Mikey would know. Mikey… he would take it objectively, and seriously too. Because just as Keisuke belonged to Mikey, Chifuyu belonged to him now. And that made Chifuyu Mikey’s as well. Mikey wouldn’t let it go.
“You’re right. I’ll go tell them.”
Ryusei nodded, a tad surprised by the sudden decision. He probably hadn’t expected Keisuke to go along with the idea.
“Then might as well get out of here now,” he suggested. “I really don’t feel like getting locked in for the rest of the day.”
Keisuke hummed in agreement. He would just tell his mother he didn’t feel good. And it would be true. Keisuke hadn’t felt all that good since Chifuyu had disappeared on his watch.
For fuck’s sake, didn’t Chifuyu say Keisuke was supposed to be his sworn big brother, or something?
He repressed the knot of emotions swelling in his stomach.
“Let’s go.”
He followed Ryusei outside. He kept quiet, letting the other lead him through the corridors of their school as he organized the turmoil in his mind. He would call Mikey… no. He would visit Mikey right after they got out of school ground. Ryusei could tag along, if he wanted, Draken might still be with Mikey anyway. He should call him to, to know wherever the two blonds were at, right now.
Even though just the idea of trying to call someone right now made his blood boil in irritation. It made his hair itch in its ponytail, he wanted to take it off. The hair tie and the glasses. He waited until they had crossed the gate, immediately taking comfort in the natural way his hair fell on his shoulders, feeling a tad more free than before.
Ryusei stopped walking in front of him.
“What are you doing?” he growled at the other boy without conviction. “Come with me, don’t just stand there.”
“Uh…”
Keisuke raised an eyebrow, seeing Ryusei’s strange hesitation.
“What?” he questioned him.
Ryusei raised a finger.
“You might… want to look in that direction,” was all he said.
Intrigued through his annoyance, Keisuke did as he was told, straightening in the process. In the direction Ryusei was pointing toward, there was the path that led to the commercial center, a long way from there. If one care to look, they would see the sport fields bellow on the side. The other side was just habitations and trees. Looking a bit further, Keisuke saw that there was someone leaning against the wall, with their hands in their pockets. Their build was familiar.
Keisuke glanced higher, at that person’s face. And his eyes widened, as he realized who was standing there, gazing at the school building from outside.
A wave of disbelief hit him, as he finally found the one he had been looking for since the previous week.
Incomprehension and fury soon followed.
“You!”
Chifuyu only noticed them then. He turned his head toward them, not nearly as surprised as his two friends were to see him but still fairly taken aback at their sudden appearance. His lips parted slightly; his blue-green eyes darkened by exhaustion but still laid a quiet, intrigued glint in his irises. His hair was a bit dull, as though he hadn’t taken care of it in a while, and his skin was deathly pale… it contrasted with the heavily marked bags under his eyes.
That was when it really hit Keisuke.
Chifuyu was right there, in front of them.
And all he had to give them was…
“Oh… Ryusei… Baji-san? You’re here.”
Keisuke exploded.
“Chifuyu! You bastard!”
And Chifuyu dared to smile, waving at them.
“Ah… Long time no see?”
Keisuke was so gonna kill him.
Notes:
So my headcanon is that, since A Letter from Baji Keisuke is a story that is recounted to us from Chifuyu's point of view as he reads Baji's letter to him, his point of view is a bit biased and selective memory is a bit of a bitch to him because he thinks of what he did as even more ridiculous than it was at first.
Because I just can't handle so much second hand embarrassment.
I just put it here, I meant to put that a long time ago, when Baji and Chifuyu talked during homework, so yeah.
Chapter 14: U: Eight days, imbecile.
Summary:
Chifuyu is back. And he's tired.
Thankfully, his friends notice that.
Notes:
Eleven days have passed since Chifuyu's return back in time. We are now in November 27, 2004. Emma's birthday just passed by.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It had been early when Chifuyu finally left his den.
Home, he told himself he would go.
But in the midst of all he had been doing the entire week, he forgot which home he should have been thinking about.
His mind was full of names. His mother. Baji-san. Ryusei. Takemichi. Toman. Draken. Pet shop. D&D. Peke J. And…
He lost sight of who exactly he was, for a handful of hours, wandering across the district with no real destination in mind.
By the time his mind cleared, the home he ended up visiting wasn’t one that belonged to him yet. Himself wasn’t sure when that knowledge finally registered in the back of his brain.
Was it when he first stopped at the juvenile prison’s gate?
When he gave the name for the appointment?
Or was it when he sat, in front of who had held his psyche for the last two years… No, that was not quite right.
Was it when he started talking?
Or when he left, with no idea how to say goodbye?
Chifuyu did not know.
He only knew that, by the time he was exposed to the outside world again, he had visited an old friend that was not a friend yet, and that perhaps it wasn’t such a bad thing that he had done so.
Even if he had lost track of time.
When he found another of his few homes again, it was afternoon. The rare sunlight that had happened upon Tokyo the previous week was nowhere to be found anymore, and autumn had reasserted its domination over the world.
Yet, it wasn’t as cold as before. Even if he didn’t know what ‘before’ stood for to him, right now.
All he knew was that Baji-san was right here, staring from a distance with surprise glinting in his wide predator eyes. Pronouncing his name as though Chifuyu had disappeared for years on end, as though it wasn’t Baji who had left him all alone for twelve years. All he saw was Baji and Ryusei running toward him, with too heavy emotions in their eyes for his tired mind to register properly.
And suddenly, he was just a little kid once more, holding back his nervosity like he’d done something bad and thinking I’m so screwed, feeling as though he was that young boy again who kept on getting in trouble, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Ultimately, perhaps… it made him just a tad lighter that before.
…Keeping the darkness at bay.
“Ah… Long time no see?”
No shit Sherlock.
That was Ryusei’s first thought, to his absolute shame.
His first reaction was to stay rooted to the ground, stunned stupid by the mundane appearance of who they had been looking for since the previous Monday. Blinking numbly at the apparition. He was also not very proud of that.
Before he could do or think any more stupid shit, thankfully or for the worst, Baji acted.
And looking at him for only a fraction of second, it was basic instinct on Ryusei’s part for all of his brain and leg power to focus on stopping him.
Ryusei ran after Baji with all his might. He saw in slow motion how Chifuyu’s smile distorted into a nervous expression, that later turned defeated, oscillating between fond and resigned.
Then, Baji was at Chifuyu’s throat.
“You Bastard!”
“Baji, stop, this is not a good idea!”
“Where have you been?!”
“Baji!”
“I think… gonna throw up-”
“Are you Stupid! AH!?”
Ryusei watched with a sort of amazed horror as his captain violently shook their friend by the neck and the collar, before punching him in the face as he let go. Baji looked like a demon. It was terrifying. Ryusei didn’t want to be Chifuyu right now.
Chifuyu rubbed at his abused cheek, his knees a little wobbly as he straightened and looked at them again, seeming somewhat confused. Seeing as he had trouble finding words, Ryusei decided to intervene.
“That’s enough, Baji. If you assault him, he won’t be able to speak. Let him breathe,” with these conciliatory words, he put his palm on top of Baji’s shoulder to stop him from acting anymore impulsively.
Of course, him reining in his captain did not mean he wasn’t also upset. His dark eyes sharpened as they locked with Chifuyu’s dazed ones.
“He’s right, Chifuyu. You’re lucky enough we didn’t tell your mother that you were nowhere to be found. Now, I think you owe us something of an explanation, don’t you think?” he raised an eyebrow, prompting.
Chifuyu had the merit of looking slightly guilty. The boy looked away, mumbling.
“I… I’m sorry I didn’t warn anyone. I just had some shit to… take care of. Did I… miss anything important?”
Ryusei didn’t like that reaction at all. First off, the fact that Chifuyu disappeared in thin air just like that in the first place was fishy as heck. But Chifuyu wouldn’t react like that… He would be angry, especially since it was Ryusei who was telling him off now. Third off… ‘miss anything important?’ Ryusei pressed his lips together.
The other would know to assume that meant trouble for him were he not looking about anywhere but at Ryusei and Baji.
“What kinda shit are you talking about, huh?” he lowkey demanded, struggling to rein himself in. “That’s not what I asked you, Chifuyu. Don’t you know how long you’ve kept us on our toes there, you little shit? Missing something important- that’s what you’re worried about in this situation?”
Chifuyu was frowning. He obviously didn’t understand what ‘situation’ Ryusei was talking about. His hand had moved down from his discolored cheek, instead holding itself sort of in front of his body, as though Ryusei was going to hurt him or something. He was going on the defensive.
“I don’t have to tell you everywhere I go,” Chifuyu hissed, obviously trying to sound petulant for some reason. “Don’t act like you don’t disappear every few weeks two to three days, sometimes four, either. I don’t see how that’s any different. Why are you even mad…”
Ryusei’s blood started boiling.
‘Why was he even mad…’
Reining himself in?
Fuck that.
Ryusei was pissed.
“Ah?! Four days?”
He pushed Baji away, gritting his teeth, seeing red. He punched the other boy right in the chest before either he or Baji could react.
“Tell me that again! It’s been eight days, fucker!”
Even in his fury, he didn’t miss the flicker of surprise in Chifuyu’s blue-green eyes as he stepped back from the hit. Chifuyu was shocked.
“Eight… a week…?”
“Yeah! A damn fucking week!” Ryusei hit him again in the right shoulder. “Do you really think we care if you miss a stupid meeting or gang shit or a fucking exam at this point? You ask why we’re mad!?”
He punched his left arm, and Chifuyu’s features turned blank in an instant. Ryusei took the opportunity to grab him by the collar, drawing him close.
“It’s because we’re fucking worried, imbecile!”
He stared deep in Chifuyu’s eyes. The blond’s gaze was veiled, staring past Ryusei as though he wasn’t seeing him at all. His lips quivered as they moved.
“You… worried… about me?”
Was this little shit for real?
“Ryusei. Ryusei, release him.”
In his fury, he vaguely heard Baji’s voice behind him as an arm gripped his shoulder. Only when he heard the subtly disguised urgence in the older boy’s voice did he realize that Chifuyu’s blank face wasn’t due to shock only. He let go and stared down at where Chifuyu’s right hand was hovering carefully around his left upper arm, where Ryusei had violently pressed just a few seconds earlier.
Where Baji had said there was a gunshot wound just last week.
How long did gunshot wounds take to heal again?
“Shit!”
He cursed at himself for having forgotten. Even though he was mad, how could he be so stupid?
“Chifuyu? Chifuyu, are you alright?”
Of course he didn’t look fine. He looked like all his blood had deserted his body. Unnaturally pale, he stumbled when Ryusei put him down on his own two feet, even if he quickly gained back his balance, his hand didn’t stray from his wound. At least it didn’t seem to be bleeding through his clothes. Wait, that meant absolutely nothing, Chifuyu was wearing at least three layers right now and only the upper one was white.
“M'fine, I’m fine…” he didn’t sound fine, his voice was strained and his fingers clenched convulsively around his arm, without touching. “My bone’s just a bit messed up…”
“That’s not fine,” Ryusei exclaimed, horrified.
“’M sorry…”
Then, as he said those words, just as though his body remembered how abused it was right now, Chifuyu swayed on his feet. Ryusei was so scared he was going to collapse he went to help him stand, gently this time.
“What now?”
“For worrying you. I didn’t think…”
Ryusei paused in his movements. He exchanged a glance with Baji. Thankfully, the long-haired boy’s anger had receded for now, overcome by the worry they both had for their common friend.
How awful was it that Chifuyu didn’t even consider the fact that they could be worried about him?
Chifuyu knew they worried, didn’t he? He usually did. But had they had such reasons to worry so much in the past? Was it now, that they should worry the most, that Chifuyu could not believe he was worthy of worry?
Or… was it that he didn’t believe he was acting worryingly?
The thought turned Ryusei’s blood to ice.
“I know,” he ended up retorting too calmly to his friend, drawing him closer to him and draping an arm over his shoulder to help him stand. “You didn’t think. That’s the problem, isn’t it? Think a bit before going to do whatever without telling anyone.”
Ryusei sighed, then chuckled as he remembered what had happened further down the week.
“You even involved a poor guy who had nothing to do with it… Don’t you have any shame?”
Chifuyu stirred in his grasp.
“I can walk,” he protested weakly, yet not really fighting Ryusei. “And I actually know Takemitchy.”
“Really? Because the bloke sure doesn’t remember you then.”
Surprisingly, Chifuyu’s features lit up with a soft smile that Ryusei couldn’t describe.
“Ah… I know. That’s normal.”
“Although he did say your name sounded familiar.”
Chifuyu chuckled but didn’t say anything more. Ryusei felt as though he was being left out of some kind of loop.
He gave another lookover to the blond boy, noticing how weak and tired he seemed all over again. He frowned in worry.
“I don’t know where you were, but first, let’s get you in your bed, huh? Let’s get you home.”
Baji nodded, with a glare.
“I’ll be waiting for answers as soon as you wake up, asshole, don’t think you can escape it,” he growled, but with far less conviction than before.
Ryusei guessed seeing Chifuyu like that was taxing on both of them. It was as though, ever since they met Chifuyu, the blond had been their battery or something. Always charging them up, and even if they were down, he was never so. This was a big change, in a way.
Another big change, at any rate…
Ryusei tried to ignore the way the other boy mouthed the word ‘home’ to himself as though he didn’t remember its meaning.
“Don’t you… don’t we have school, or something?”
“We skipping!” Ryusei cheekily told him. “You know, what you’ve been doing for more than a week now.”
“Ugh…”
It wasn’t such a harsh thing walking back to the apartment complex. Baji had complained their method was too slow, and Chifuyu also protested all the while that he could walk. In the end, Baji forced Ryusei to hand over Chifuyu so he could carry him on his back, under Chifuyu’s annoyed disagreement and Ryusei’s laugher. Such a shame he didn’t take a video, but the one picture would do it. He would show it back to Chifuyu in a few months or years to embarrass him… Or Baji, if he ever pretended again that he didn’t care. That could be fun.
What was less fun was when they arrived at the building, and Chifuyu refused to enter his own apartment. Ryusei really wanted to punch him then, even though he was worried of jostling his wound again.
“Then what do you suggest we do?” he groaned. “What is this even about?”
Chifuyu mumbled in Baji’s shoulder, neither of his gangmates heard anything worthwhile.
“Repeat that again?”
“…Don’t wanna face my mother…”
Baji’s expression fell with understanding. Ryusei really didn’t know what to say to that. Looking carefully, Chifuyu seemed truly distressed at the idea. And it was absolutely not in their objective to cause the boy even more stress than he seemed he already had that week. Ryusei shook his head, taking his forehead in his hands.
“Chifuyu. Doesn’t your mother work during the day?”
Baji nodded, carefully shaking Chifuyu to get his attention.
“Yeah, Ryusei’s right. We’re still in the middle of the afternoon, no reason for your mom to be here now. Let’s just get in?”
Chifuyu’s dazed eyes were frowned, confused for a handful of second. Then, they widened.
“Oh.”
“Took you long enough.”
Ryusei frowned too. Chifuyu seemed really tired. Now that Ryusei wasn’t mad anymore, he reminded himself of how the boy hadn’t even known how long he had been gone.
He gave him another look over, just to make sure. Apart from the gunshot wound, he didn’t seem particularly roughened. Probably not kidnapping then. He sighed in relief internally. That was at least that.
“Yeah… let’s get in.”
“’Kay. Where’s your key? Because I’m not climbing down from Baji’s balcony to your room again. Once was enough for a lifetime.”
“Don’t say that like it’s complicated. I’ve done it with Peke J in one arm the other day.”
“Was it fun?”
“Hell no.”
Chifuyu hid a small smile in Baji’s shoulder. Ryusei was glad that their antics comforted him in some way.
“Should be… Lemme down.”
Baji did, reluctantly. Chifuyu checked his three – four? – layers of clothing before he held out what was in fact his key – good, Ryusei had feared Chifuyu had forgotten it wherever he’d been. Baji took it from him, opening the door and closing behind them. Immediately after, he scooped Chifuyu on his shoulder again despite the boy’s alarmed yelp and carried him to his bedroom.
“I’d have broken your arm if I hadn’t known it was you, Baji-san,” mumbled Chifuyu, and Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
“Sure, if you think you’re capable.”
“Don’t question me, I am.”
“I think you’re going to sleep, Chifuyu, you’re slurring your words.”
“Mh… Lemme brush my teeth first…”
Ryusei sat down with a long-suffering sigh once Chifuyu finally laid himself down under the sheets. He should probably warn his mother that he was going to stay over at Chifuyu’s this time too. Shutting his flip phone, Ryusei looked at Chifuyu. The boy’s eyes were almost closed, only the upper part of his face was visible under the covers. Baji was busy cursing a storm in the kitchen trying to find some peyoung yakisoba in some corner, so it was only the two of them for now. The obsessed dude. Ryusei huffed.
“You could’ve at least answered your phone, pretty boy.”
Chifuyu gave him a catlike blink of the eyes.
“Had it off for a while. ‘t’s dead now.”
Ryusei had half the mind to retort to that matter of fact reply. But before he could start their usual bickering, Chifuyu’s voice cut him.
“Ryusei…?”
His name caught his attention. Said with Chifuyu’s sleepy voice, it sounded as though the sounds were dripping with vulnerability. It made Ryusei feel strange, hearing his friend like that. A bad kind of strange, swirling slowly in his stomach.
“Yeah?” he prompted softly.
“…I’m sorry.”
Ryusei blinked, taken aback.
Chifuyu’s eyelids closed, his breathing evened itself out. The boy was out like a light.
Ryusei watched him, thinking. “I’m sorry,” huh… He pressed the fingers of one hand to his temples. This was unusual. Everything in the last two weeks had been unusual, mind him. What was that ‘sorry’ for, huh? For being missing for a week? For worrying them? Why was it so vulnerable? So tiny and fragile?
Why did it feel like someone leaving?
Ryusei shook his head. He was going mad. All of this was only his imagination, born out of his childhood experiences. He delicately wiped away the stray tear that had gotten caught in Chifuyu’s eyelashes for seemingly no particular reason, unwilling to think about it more. Yet, as he stood up, his attention was caught by little detail. He blinked, and looked closer at the twinkling object the corner of which stuck out from under the cover.
He slowly took the shiny black thing out of the cover, making sure not to jostle Chifuyu as he did, and examined it. It was a…
“A video tape?” he muttered to himself, staring at it then turning it around. “Chifuyu Private. Huh… probably should give it back… But why was it there?”
He raised the cover a little, only to see that Chifuyu had both his hands clasped on another tape, fingers clenched around it even though he was sleeping. How had Ryusei not seen it? The vision awoke something in his memories. Back when they had first visited Chifuyu when he was sick, he had been hiding something behind his bed. Ryusei hadn't seen what it was. Why even did the tape stir that memory?
Oh. He could hear Baji approaching. He placed the tape back where he found it, closer to Chifuyu’s sleeping body, and put the cover back on top of the boy, sitting back in his chair as Baji entered with two boxes of yakisoba.
“Here,” the long-haired young man held one up. “Take that.”
“Thanks.”
Ryusei took the heated box with a grateful nod. He was hungry too with all these emotions. Maybe those eight days of worry weren’t so bad in comparison to that… alright, Ryusei was bullshitting that. He’d really rather Chifuyu was there and being worrying than having Chifuyu being worrying out of sight, in all honesty.
“So what do we do now?” he asked tiredly the other boy as they both started eating.
“We eat. We wait for him to wake up. I question him, because damn you’re bad at it-”
“Like you were doing any better. Shaking someone by the collar is not a valid method to question a friend! Perhaps an enemy, but not your friend, seriously who raised you?”
“If you insult my mom, I will disfigure you.”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry.”
Ryusei shook his head. He stared at the pieces of skin still visible under the cover. Pale. A bit sickly.
“Perhaps he should eat something before we grill him for answers, though,” he thought aloud.
“What do you mean? That’s already planned!”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
Baji pointed at the yakisoba box in his hand.
“He can have half of that.”
“Oh god you’re so stupid.”
“Repeat that!”
“Sh!” Ryusei signaled toward Chifuyu, but thankfully the boy didn’t even stir; he must have been truly exhausted. “Half a meal of peyoung yakisoba is not going to cut it, Baji… You know what, I’ll go whip something up when he wakes up. If he wakes up today…”
“Let’s take turns sleeping then.”
That wasn’t a bad idea, Ryusei thought. Knowing Chifuyu, he wouldn’t leave if he knew Baji was waiting for him to wake up… but at the same time he had already done it eight days earlier, so did Ryusei really know Chifuyu, huh? Ryusei shook his head. Enough of that. They could not predict Chifuyu’s actions when he woke up, and they needed to have a talk with him. Obviously one of them had to be awake to stop him from leaving. So taking turns it was.
“Why not?” he shrugged.
Baji yawned.
“Good. Then Imma take a nap now.”
“Yeah, do that… Wait, what are you doing? That’s Chifuyu’s bed! Go to the couch!”
“Nah, you take the couch. I have neighbor privilege.”
…In all honesty, why was Ryusei dealing with this?
Notes:
I'm not sure I'm satisfied with the end of the chapter... Anyways, that chapter might've been on a lighter tone than the rest.
God, even I don't know how Chifuyu's going to escape their questioning and I'm the author, what am I gonna do???
Chapter 15: T: It's not your fault.
Summary:
Kazutora dreams, and reminisces. There's nothing wrong with him, right?
Somewhere far from there, Chifuyu wakes up.
Notes:
So...
this chapter hurt :'D
Sorry not sorry. But you asked for this.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Kazutora-kun.”
The calm word made Kazutora flinch. He couldn’t help but look up to the man who was sitting opposite from where himself was standing.
There, seated by the tea table near the kitchen of the apartment, making rhum swirl in his glass, was a young man in a suit, with a jacket less. The helms of his sleeves were tainted with blood, but it was as though he couldn’t notice it. He had black hair styled in undercut, a tone of skin far too pale for his natural complexion, which Kazutora had only gotten to see healthy back when he was fifteen, and his eyes…
They were devoid of feelings. And that was the biggest evidence of the fury inhabiting Chifuyu in that moment. That, and the way his movements as he played with his drink were slow and carefully measured. Kazutora swallowed.
When Chifuyu’s gaze raised to his person, almost languidly were it not for the frightening abyss in them and how wide they actually were, Kazutora lowered his stare back down to the floor, repressing a shudder of… almost guilt.
“I… I wanted to help.”
For a moment, the tension was so thick Kazutora thought Chifuyu was going to send his glass flying. Judging from Chifuyu’s very particular stance as he looked at the glass of rhum, there was no idea more attractive to him than that. But Chifuyu was a controlled person. Had been nothing more for years on end, even before Kazutora came along. Chifuyu controlled every single action and expression, every gesture was calculated.
So when he put the glass down, Kazutora heard an explosion.
Then, casually, Chifuyu stood up and walked calmly to the windows. He seemed to admire the view for a few instants before he enclosed the apartment in darkness. After that, he went to his bedroom, where Kazutora saw him deposit his phone after he put it off, from where he stood. Chifuyu then went and cut the electricity. Made sure the emergency power was disconnected.
Only then, in the dark with no one to possibly spy on them, did he come back for his glass, which he downed in one swing.
The explosion came, with no more warning.
The glass met his end on the wall behind Kazutora. It shattered at impact, and Kazutora instinctively closed his eyes when he heard the sound of it, only precedented by the swift wind that had caressed his neck just before.
“Are you seriously that stupid!?”
Kazutora jolted at the outburst. He’d never heard him yell like that, not in a dozen years.
“You were in danger!” he protested with an irritatingly quivering voice.
“I’m in danger every damned day of my life, I’m used to it, don’t you dare try to protect me! You’re not! Your job is to stay hidden and gather information. And you know what’s in that? Stay hidden! Don’t do things I didn’t ask you to do!”
Kazutora knew. He probably shouldn’t have. Then maybe, Chifuyu’s sleeves wouldn’t be tainted that dead red color, and he wouldn’t be shouting with those dead eyes. Yet he didn’t understand. He couldn’t. Why did Chifuyu have to do all those terrible things while Kazutora was so carefully shielded?
Why was it that Kazutora still felt so helpless sometimes?
“But they were… they-”
“It doesn’t matter what they were doing. What is important is that had anyone at that place noticed you, everything would have fallen apart. Ten years of work, Kazutora. Ruined by a careless act.”
Chifuyu walked closer. Kazutora forced himself not to step back.
“Don’t make me laugh! The worst that could have happened was me getting killed, and you’ve been doing without me for ten years, just like you said, so why are you even so ma-”
“I care!”
Those two simple words managed to snap Kazutora out of his panic. He felt as though Chifuyu had tased him.
“Kazutora-kun. Hear me well when I speak, and remember it. You cannot die here. For three reasons, two of which are essential.”
One.
“You’re currently my safeguard. If I die in this, you’re the only one who can get the information I’ve gotten for all of ten years to completion. The only one, you hear me? If you die, then it means I die too.”
Kazutora blinked, uncomprehending.
“You, Kazutora-kun, need to understand that you are only alive today because I guaranteed you were harmless by taking you in. If I hadn’t been there, one of Toman’s would have irremediably gone after you at some point. They don’t, because I tacitly vouched for you. Now all they have to do is forget about you, and you’ll be around safe. But if you get caught like a stupid novice, then I die by the same mistake. Do you understand what I mean? It’s okay if I die, but you can’t. You’re my joker.”
Kazutora nodded numbly.
It was crazy. What they were into. It was so close yet so far away. And Chifuyu had all of this in mind, at all time… Chifuyu knew he could die at any given moment. Chifuyu was desperate.
And Kazutora suddenly realized he could almost have ended it all for both of them. This was about more than him alone.
Two.
Chifuyu slapped him harshly.
“Baji-san fucking sacrificed his life so you could leave, imbecile! So get over yourself and survive. Don’t you dare fuck it up!”
Baji…
And Chifuyu.
Oh gods. Kazutora felt like someone had poured cold water all over him now.
“I’m sorry.”
To Baji, whose efforts were almost turned null.
To Chifuyu, whose strong words were undermined by the caring quiver in them.
Chifuyu remained silent a few instants, before he walked away. It took a while for Kazutora to raise his head again. When he did, Chifuyu was cleaning the mess he made, perhaps too quietly for what had just happened.
Chifuyu had been scared too.
“And the third reason?” Kazutora timidly asked.
Chifuyu didn’t pause, nor did he turn to face Kazutora. There was a lull filled with the sound of glass pieces being swept gently at on the floor. Kazutora didn’t know what expression Chifuyu had on his face when he spoke, almost too quietly to be heard.
“You’re my friend. You’re… all I’ve left. So I can’t let you die.”
Oh, to live in a world in which his life mattered.
Kazutora felt the tears roll down his cheeks without a world.
He watched on, until Chifuyu was done. He watched as Chifuyu made his way to the door.
“Sleep here tonight. I have a few loose ends to tie up.”
Chifuyu left, leaving Kazutora alone.
That night… Kazutora didn’t sleep. He thought long and hard… about his role, in this cold new world.
About his place, next to Chifuyu, what it all entailed.
By the time morning came, he had understood something truly important.
And it was that he couldn’t die, because Chifuyu’s whole world was resting on his shoulders now.
Kazutora woke up in the middle of the night, with a strangled gasp.
“What… What was that?”
There was an abnormal pain clutching at his heart, urging him to remember, but there was nothing except the nightmare… or the dream. Just the vision, and the terrible emotions it brought him. It was too much, so much more painful than that night in the bike shop. And he didn’t understand why, nor how.
That person… that Chifuyu.
Kazutora had met him. Just the day before. A boy with a blond undercut, a skin with a tired hue to it, and eyes with an abyss of feelings that Kazutora couldn’t decipher. Because that boy was a stranger.
And it made no sense to dream of him just after, right? Why would Kazutora’s brain have his fun fabricating this of all things?
And now, the words it’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s my fault, kept running in circles in his mind, further weighting in the resurfacing feeling of profound guilt that he never thought he’d felt so deeply before. Something, however, that seemed as though it already existed before. But Kazutora wasn’t guilty for that night, right? After all, it was Mikey’s fault, why would he feel guilty?
Kazutora took the time to regain his breathing. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, and thought back about the visit he experienced just the previous day.
That boy, that looked so similar to the man in his nightmare, had come, a quiet little thing with unreadable sad eyes, had taken a seat in front of him. Had introduced himself.
“Hello.”
…
“My name is Matsuno Chifuyu. And you don’t know me.”
Well. At least that question is answered.
Although the name does sound familiar.
“It’s nice to see you, though.”
…What to say to that?
“You don’t need to answer, by the way.”
Oh.
That… makes it easier.
“I… I’ve been thinking a lot. Recently. About the things I wished I had said. Things that even now I don’t think I can say. To anyone. Life’s complicated like that. It’s full of those little things no one will tell you how to cope with, because these people around barely get the hang of it themselves. And then, before you realize it, you’re surrounded by people who are the same as you, and they too need someone to tell them how it works.”
…
“And I wish I weren’t such a horrible person when it was my turn to teach them. I loathe myself, because I wasn’t able to tell them it’s not their fault, that I’m so sorry and that it will never get better, that you only get more used to the burden you carry. I think they knew, sometimes. But nothing beats saying it. Saying…”
Saying what?
…Why does it feel so important?
I need to know.
“You’re not alone. It’s not your fault. You’re forgiven. Saying I’m the same as you. I get it. I understand you.”
Beat. Beat. Beat.
Beat, Beat. Beat, Beat. Beat, Beat.
“I’m here with you.”
I…
I’m…
Who are you?
Who are you talking to?
A snort.
“I killed someone, too. A lot of people.”
Why are you saying this to me?
“And, I don’t know if I regret it.”
…!
“But I really want you to know, that I know how it feels. I lied to myself too. I want you to know that there’s always someone out there who will understand you… just like there’s always someone out there who will misunderstand you, who will manipulate you. With time, I learned… it’s easier if you try to understand them first. Only with their help can you understand yourself. But…”
Understanding…
Will there be, though? Someone like that, really?
“But it’s not easy. It takes time. And for them, even if I couldn’t say it, I wanted to be someone they could trust in the meantime. In the time it takes to understand themselves. But I was already so bad… I had no one to show me. And I was so scared, that they’d follow my footsteps.”
Do what I say, no what I do, huh?
“We’re the result of what happened to us. It’s scary, thinking of it like that. It removes any agency man has in his own being. What is freedom of choice, if everything we are and do can be explained away by what happened to us? It’s scary… And painful. But all sides are. So at one point, you’ll have to choose.”
…Choose? What?
Why does this echo so painfully?
Why me?
“You’ll have to choose, between the reality that none of it is your fault, that you are only the target of the world, that you do nothing but react to what it gives you. Just a puppet. And… the knowledge that you’re the only one to blame for what you do and what happens to you. The knowledge that everything you are, everything you do, is something that can also change someone else, for better or for worse. It’s an all encompassing responsibility. And it hurts. It hurts so much, when even helplessness becomes your own sin.”
…
“It’s awful, right? It’s either one or the other, and mixing makes you a hypocrite. But once you are your own person… you can choose where you want to go next. If you want to go deep and become the worst of all, as a way to get through it all… I did that. But you can also choose the path of redemption.”
That blue-green gaze, so terribly sad.
Where are you going?
“Whatever path you choose, you realize by the end of it that… you were wrong from the start. That there was never a blame to take on or reject to begin with. Whether you manage to heal or not, at the end of it, there’s no fault to bring up. Only what you did, and what you didn’t do. Only your ideals, and your regrets.”
Why are you smiling?
“It’s not linear, being a person. One day, you too, you’ll think about all of this, and if you’re doing a good job, being a person.”
“I just want them… I want you never to have to wish that you were a better person.”
I don’t understand.
“I don’t know everything, either… I thought that… but I haven’t finished becoming a person either. But I have to do with what I am now. So do that too, okay?”
“It’s hard, living. But don’t give up. Please.”
…
“You don’t know how many people you’d be leaving alone out there, without anyone to understand them either. So you have to get better, and you have to face them.”
Face people… Baji?
Mikey?
Shinichiro.
No. I don’t want to.
“Life… might get easier, then. Especially if you don’t know how long you’ll be here.”
Shinichiro…
Why does it feel so hard to breathe?
Help. Help!
He’s gone…
What… was that?
Kazutora thought he’d been doing well, despite how empty he had been feeling. He couldn’t be wrong. Otherwise, it would mean that all this time had been a waste too.
He was already wasting so much time. He couldn’t afford to go back on who he had decided to be.
He knew whose fault it was.
So why couldn’t he breathe correctly? Why did his heart pick up when the boy was talking? Why did he feel like crying when he remembered that man?
Why did he feel that burn deep in his chest, asking him to run, run faster, go back on his steps to grasp at what he was missing, as though he was still missing something? As though there was something he needed to do?
Maybe say something, like ‘I forgive you too’ and, ‘It’s not your fault either’.
‘Don’t worry, I knew.’ Things like that.
Who knows.
“Hey. He’s waking up.”
Chifuyu peeled his eyes open, trying to fight the exhaustion still clinging to him like a second skin. He felt like he had slept for too long, yet not enough. A bit like when he was still a teenager, on weekends, wondering if he should wake up or go back to sleep.
Except that there was someone with him. Someone non-threatening, that went without saying, or Chifuyu would already have been up and alert. This person was safe. The voice was nice and familiar, it made him want to go back to sleep.
But Chifuyu had slept enough for the day. He needed to get back on track. What time was it? There was a soft like coming through the window. Looked like early morning. He moved his fingers. Under the warmth over his body, he realized how sore his hands were. There was something in them. Oh. The tape. Yes. He couldn’t afford to lose it.
He must still have been pretty knocked out already if he clung to it like that. This might be his last connection to… huh… but it didn’t mean he had to act like a widowed maiden.
Chifuyu would almost make himself laugh with his own stupid comparisons. That skill came back from the main timeline for sure, because he’d lost that in his time branch.
He let his hand slip against the mattress, coming to his head as he turned toward the far end of the room. He slipped it under the pillow, as though he casually wanted to use it as support for his head. Instead, that was where he hid the film tape. No need for anyone to see it. Wait, wasn’t there a second one? Oh, here it was, against his thigh.
Might as well leave it there. It wasn’t the most important one. Anyway.
His eyes finally translated the light information correctly, and he could focus on the visual details. He blinked to clear his sight, and immediately he found himself tracking Ryusei’s figure, sitting on his desk chair.
…What was Ryusei doing here again?
“Yo, sleeping beauty.”
Was Ryusei calling Chifuyu a sleeping beauty? No matter, Chifuyu had heard worse. Ryusei’s little pet names were almost cute in comparison. Ryusei himself could never be cute though. He straightened.
“Good morning. Why are you here?” he went straight to the point.
“Such warm greeting… You’re lucky I’m the one who’s awake instead of the big bad ogre, he would have already pummeled you to the ground.”
The big bad ogre?
Oh. Baji-san.
Baji-san who was alive.
Chifuyu pressed his lips together to suppress a smile at the thought. It was very confusing, but it warmed his heart that this was as it was, at least. Even if it wasn’t quite right. It was something to anchor himself to.
“Come on. Eat.”
Chifuyu turned back to face Ryusei. The both of them looked sleep ridden. Uh, he didn’t mean that there were two Ryusei’s, just that Ryusei looked sleep-ridden and that he knew himself to look sleep ridden too.
Why did his thoughts feel so awkward this morning? Possibly the Ryusei and Baji exposure time. They made him tired, in a good way.
It was nice, feeling like a teen.
“What? Why are you chuckling like that?” Ryusei sounded dubious, and a little suspicious.
“I was just thinking you looked stupid.”
“I really am going to hit you, you little shit. I look stupid as you put it because I’ve spent my whole week worrying over your sorry missing ass.”
Ouch. Chifuyu instinctively repressed the urge to draw his shoulders in.
Right. It had been a week. Eight days, Ryusei had said the day before. Chifuyu had left these two worrywarts alone for a week. And of course, Baji would tell Ryusei Chifuyu had gotten himself shot. This was an awful situation. How was he supposed to explain himself plausibly?
Well, he could.
He was simply… very guilty.
He didn’t think it had been so long. Of course, two middle schoolers would be concerned if another middle schooler acted weird before disappearing who knew where, only giving the address of a place he wasn’t at and not answering his phone. Phrased like that, Chifuyu really wanted to slap himself. He was lucky they didn’t call the police in for a missing person announce. Thankfully they hadn’t told his mother he was actually missing.
Chifuyu really had gotten carried away, huh?
In any case, he should really just be glad that Baji wasn’t there to further his misery.
“I’m sorry-”
“Chifuyu?”
Chifuyu couldn’t help but wince.
So, he was wrong.
He turned toward the door, seeing exactly Baji, his phone in his hands, tired eyes staring back at him in surprise.
“So you’re awake, huh? Why didn’t you say anything, Ryusei?”
Chifuyu was so screwed.
Notes:
...Nice right?
Me during the flashback, in a dilemna: I want him to break the glass.
Me: but Chifuyu in Toman is too composed to throw the glass.
Me: like, his anger is so controlled, he'd be just putting it back and it would show how angry he is.
Me: yeah that's more like him.
...
Me: ...
Me, smirking evilly: why couldn't we have both?
Me: Get that glass.
Comment please!
Chapter 16: O: Start from the beginning.
Summary:
They talk.
Chifuyu's still hiding something.
But he needs time.
Hopefully he'll get enough of that.
Notes:
So good news! Chifuyu went through it.
Also, he really went through it.Makes what you will of that :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Baji…-san?”
“That’s me.”
Why did Chifuyu look so disheartened from seeing Keisuke here?
Chifuyu sighed.
“It’s nothing.”
Keisuke didn’t believe him. But they would get to that.
His phone had started to blow just half an hour ago with messages from his mother asking him where he was. That was when he realized that contrarily to Ryusei, he had forgotten to warn his own mom of where he would be for the night. That was what resulted in a thirty-minute lecture and explanation in Chifuyu’s living room through the phone.
What was his luck that Chifuyu would wake in that precise half an hour? Seriously.
“I’m going to do as if I believed that for five minutes and move on. So you’re awake. How’d ya feel?”
Chifuyu’s features turned unsure, and he slipped a glance toward Ryusei, who shrugged. He then put on a bland smile.
“I’m fine.”
“Bullshit. You ate?”
“Not yet, Baji. I was about to go and bring him something before you just barged in.”
Keisuke nodded at Ryusei’s exasperated explanation. The long haired boy drew the med kit from under the bed, where he himself had put it just a few hours ago for it to be close when they needed it.
“Then go do that. I’ll look at Chifuyu’s wound.”
“Don’t go talking as though I weren’t here too. I’ll lick my own wounds, thank you very much.”
Keisuke quirked a furtive smile. At least Chifuyu seemed to have gained back some of his bite. That was honestly better than what they’d seen for the last two weeks.
“Nah, no way. First of all, I’m not leaving you alone for the next three months, so get prepared. Second of all, if you don’t let me take a look at it I’ll break your other arm.”
“Baji!”
“Try me.”
Keisuke raised an eyebrow, at both younger boys. Chifuyu didn’t relent, but Ryusei sighed, standing up.
“Alright, do what you will. I’ll make something with the left-overs.” He pointed a finger toward Keisuke. “If I hear any arm-breaking, I’m telling Ryoko-san.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.”
He would.
Keisuke watched him leave with a small snarl before turning back to Chifuyu, who wasn’t looking at him anymore. At least he seemed to have accepted his fate.
“Scoot over.”
Chifuyu made a bit of room for Keisuke on the side of the bed, and that’s where Keisuke sat, depositing the first aid kit on his lap for the time being. He raised an eyebrow at Chifuyu, prompting him to get out of his shirt. Chifuyu reluctantly obeyed. If there was one good thing about Chifuyu, it was that at least he understood Keisuke fairly well and therefore was efficient. Good point for him. Ryusei was just a liar when he said Keisuke was ‘freaking impossible to read, what the hell are you trying to tell me right now?’ anyway.
“Ouch.”
Keisuke winced at how the bandages stuck to the skin in a gory way. He shall give it to Chifuyu, the boy was strong for not saying anything nor flinching once as Keisuke got through with those as delicately as he could. Keisuke had always been rough, he didn’t know how to do soft. He sort of regretted that right now.
“Sorry, this probably hurts like shit. For fuck’s sake, when was the last time you changed those?”
“It’s fine…” but Chifuyu had a guilty look on his face as he stared at the mess.
Keisuke gritted his teeth.
“Lemme guess, it’s the same bandages as last week’s?”
Chifuyu looked away without replying. It seemed Keisuke was right. When he finally peeled off all the dirty fabric, he grimaced at the wound. Thankfully the thing had not gotten infected, but that was the only reprieve. His whole upper arm was purple, and the actual wound, while not bleeding, was still open.
“You should have this checked at the hospital. Tell me you actually got that checked at a hospital.”
“I forgot.”
“You forgot? Chifuyu, that shit looks as painful as if something actually exploded in your arm, you won’t make me believe that you forgot about it!”
“I did.”
“How are you even moving that arm, the bone’s probably in pieces…”
Chifuyu’s expression was perfectly blank as Keisuke prodded at it to evaluate the damage. How was he doing this? Why even?
“Chifuyu, I need to gauge the damage here, give me at least a hint.”
Chifuyu blinked, then stared at Keisuke.
“Oh.”
“Yes oh. Don’t poker face me. How much does it hurt here?”
“Fine.”
“Truth please.”
“Like a bitch.”
“That’s more like it.”
They continued like that for a while. As soon as Ryusei was back, he absented himself a few minutes, just the time to go pick up the meds he still had in his house from when he last broke his own arm earlier during the year. That should probably make it better.
When he came back, Ryusei and Chifuyu were already in a tentative conversation.
“So, what’s in the tape?”
“What tape?”
“The one you slept with?”
“That sounds weird,” Keisuke quipped in as he took back his place next to Chifuyu.
“Shut it Baji. You are not the one who can tell me that. You say weird incomprehensible stuff every day of your life. So anyway Chifuyu?”
Chifuyu took a mouthful of the soup, staring at the sheets rather than at Ryusei.
“It’s personal.”
“Oh. Like a diary?”
Chifuyu paused, frowning a bit as Keisuke applied the first pomade.
“I guess?” he didn’t sound sure.
“Would you show it to me?”
“No way, get your own.”
Keisuke snorted.
“Hear that, Ryusei? Stop mingling in others’ business and get your own life.”
“Ouch, Baji, I’m almost certain that’s not what dear Chifuyu-kun meant…”
“Honestly, take it as you wish.”
Ryusei relented.
“Alright, alright. Then what about the other tape?”
“What other tape?”
“The other tape you slept with, dumbass.”
“How am I supposed to know which tape you’re talking about?” Still, despite the bored tone, Keisuke noticed how Chifuyu almost tensed under his fingers.
“Guys, your conversation makes absolutely no sense,” he told them jokingly even though it made him curious too.
Chifuyu didn’t react.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about at any rate. Just two personal projects of mine…”
Alright, time to change topic.
“We’ll decide if we need to worry or not,” Keisuke cut in drily. “Or have you already forgotten that.”
Chifuyu would have drawn his shoulders in if Keisuke hadn’t stopped him for the sake of his wound. Ryusei turned serious as soon as Keisuke made the point across.
“Yeah… About that, Chifuyu.”
Chifuyu couldn’t escape it.
“Maybe… it’s time you tell us what happened?”
Everything went quiet. The nice banter disappeared, the good-natured atmosphere, everything. Except the exhaustion. Somehow, it became almost tangible. Chifuyu kept silent. His eyes were fuzzily dazing over the foot of his desk. Keisuke didn’t dare do any rash movement.
He and Ryusei exchanged a glance, just as Chifuyu exhaled with a quiver. He chuckled, but his eyes were empty.
“I didn’t expect you to want to know,” he admitted hollowly.
Ryusei stopped Keisuke with a gesture of his hand. In the end, Keisuke only rolled his eyes heavily, tried to focus on the task at hand while Ryusei did the talking.
“Why not? Aren’t we friends?” he prompted gently.
It was fascinating, how Ryusei was behaving. If Keisuke didn’t have Chifuyu’s arm between his hands, he would have believed the one Ryusei was speaking to was a stray, vulnerable cat.
Well. They did say Chifuyu fit the cat image perfectly. Keisuke just hadn’t thought… about the vulnerability, and fear part of it. He should have expected it. He pursed his lips, irritated by the feeling of helplessness that bubbled in suddenly.
“Because… Because I didn’t think it had become so important that you’d notice it.”
Ryusei smiled, pained.
“If that is so, I’m saddened to tell you, but you’re not that good at keeping things secret.”
“Mh. It’s… it’s personal, I didn’t want you guys to be concerned over something I could fix by myself.”
“Like the gunshot wound?”
Chifuyu flinched. Keisuke sent a warning side-glare at Ryusei, who sighed.
“I’m sorry. Still, I don’t think you’re doing as well as you think, Chifuyu. Maybe we can help you if you talk to us about it?”
It really felt like probing a kitten, Keisuke thought. A wounded one, scared of the hand that came too close.
Keisuke looked at Chifuyu’s trembling hand in his own, and he decided that maybe he didn’t like that analogy all that much. It was too accurate.
It reminded him a bit of Kazutora. Though, perhaps a different type of cat.
“Talk to you about it? I wouldn’t know where to start,” Chifuyu shook his head, his bangs falling over his shadowed eyes.
“Start from the beginning.”
Keisuke saw a movement, Chifuyu blinked under his blond veil.
“I don’t know what’s the ‘beginning’ here.”
“I know,” Ryusei replied quietly, attracting Chifuyu’s attention on him. “Why don’t you tell me what really happened, almost two weeks ago… on Thursday?” he resumed with a solemn expression.
Keisuke was the one who blinked in confusion this time. Even he didn’t know what Ryusei was referring to now. But it seemed Chifuyu did, because all his muscles stiffened under Keisuke’s touch.
It took a few seconds before they came loose again. Keisuke frowned, looking carefully at Chifuyu’s features. The boy was intently staring at the floor, piercing a hole in it with a hollow, yet somewhat scared abyss in his blue-green eyes.
It was a terrifying sight.
“So something did happen.”
Chifuyu’s lips opened and closed a few times, no word passing through. But Ryusei waited patiently. The only sounds were that of the bottles clinking together when Keisuke moved them in the kit, and that of their breathings, some calmer than others.
They were starting to doubt Chifuyu would actually speak again when he took a sharp intake of air.
“I… Thursday 16th November was… I was reminded of… I…”
“Take your time,” Ryusei advised.
Chifuyu swallowed. Shook his head.
“I’m fine,” he breathed, and it sounded like the words had lost their original meaning by now. “Just- I received news, that day… From an old friend.”
Keisuke saw Ryusei’s fingers moved ever so slightly, as though something in that made him tick. An old friend, huh? Chifuyu didn’t talk a lot about other people or past friends when they were together.
“Is it… a bad friend?”
Keisuke raised his head to frown at Ryusei. What kind of idea was that?
…It was actually a good question, seeing as this seemed to be what started Chifuyu’s strange behavior, but why was it what Ryusei thought about first?
“He wasn’t bad… far from it. But the news were.”
The friends weren’t bad, they could never be bad, but the news were the worst. In a handful of seconds, he learned that all those he cared for would disappear or die and his own death would come to him perhaps all too soon, tied to a chair with a bullet to the head, that the only one who could save them had given up and died on the blade of the one he was trying to save most, and now they were all either dead or waiting for some miracle to happen.
Waiting for Chifuyu to make a miracle happen.
“The news were bad?”
They were, the worst.
Chifuyu hummed.
“Would you tell us what it was about?”
No. No way, not now. Chifuyu couldn’t bear to tell the truth to them now.
What was he even supposed to tell them? That all of their friends had sacrificed their very souls without any guarantee of victory so that maybe, they could give something back to the very beginning of this story? That somehow, this was the result of a messed-up attempt at time travel and that Chifuyu was all those dead souls could count on now?
That they’d die anyway at the end of this timeline at any rate because Chifuyu was unsure he could make anything change on his own?
Should he tell them that most of them were doomed too? Ah!
No. They weren’t. Chifuyu had to make sure they wouldn’t die, even if Chifuyu could not finish what Naoto started. Even if he was supposedly doomed to failure.
These were very cruel news, actually. But his friends weren’t bad.
Only desperate.
“I’m sorry,” he choked on a repressed sob. “I’d rather not.”
It felt like his soul was crying, but his body couldn’t. His throat was so dry. He powered through it.
“It… reminded me of bad things too. I’m sorry I panicked on you two, that day. Also, it’s probably not what you think. But I really don’t want to talk about it.”
He inhaled then. He didn’t want his friends imagining he lived through some traumatic shit when he was just a child. That’d be lying to them.
“It doesn’t really concern me, actually. It’s just… shit’s gone down somewhere, and it’s always stupid people doing stupid things telling themselves it’s gonna be fine and they forget that there’re people out there who…”
He stopped himself. Too much. His very own father, Takemichi, Mikey, Baji… Why was his life such a broken record? Was he the only sane one who tried not to die early like all these idiots?
“So I needed to think. And I was mad and I didn’t want to be mad at you two as well. Because… you’re kinda the same.”
He stopped then, and realized how the room had been dead silent for a while. Even Baji’s fingers had frozen, hovering upon his wound. He just wanted to laugh. Instead, he lashed out.
“Tell me you wouldn’t do it too, if you thought it was for the greater good! In the end… all of them… all of you, whether there’s someone close or not to tell you not to do it… you all disappear without thinking about the consequences do you?”
Was it really what it was like to be a good person?
Why did good have to mean stupidly, selflessly, fucking selfish?
Sounded fun. Maybe Chifuyu would rather be a bad person. At least it didn’t mean leaving people alone.
Nonexistent gods above, Chifuyu was so cruel, just dropping that on the head of teenagers that didn’t ask for his fucking sob story. But Chifuyu was just so mad suddenly, he felt like everything was blowing him inside of him and he just couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t stop it from bubbling up to the surface.
It’s because Kisaki wasn’t there, he realized numbly under it all. I had no one to be angry at, yet everyone kept dying, with no clear culprit to blame it on. Kisaki was dead too in that other timeline. In the past he hadn’t lived, yet that he felt so clearly was his too.
Because his soul was here. With him. With this Chifuyu.
And he was so angry. And in the end, they were the same person.
(Would Chifuyu forget everything, when he left?)
Chifuyu couldn’t forget. Couldn’t afford to.)
“That’s what it reminded me of. And I guess then… I came across the guys with the gun and…”
Ryusei jolted then.
“A-about that,” but he didn’t quite manage to erase the quiver from his tone. “We made some research on our own. We want the truth from you. Were you the one who…”
No point in lying if they already knew.
“Yeah. I lost it on them. The guys from the suburbs helped a lot. They were quite mad too.”
That wasn’t a lie. He did hear that the thugs were beaten up pretty bad after he went to hide.
“Were you the one who shot them?”
Oh, so they knew about that too.
“Do I look like someone who knows how to shoot a gun?”
Technically not a lie, there were no lies in question.
It would make his life easier if he could lie to them. But it was Baji and Ryusei. He simply couldn’t look at them in the eyes and lie to them at the same time.
They deserved so much better from him.
“Actually you do. But I don’t think you would.”
Chifuyu made sure not to react at all to that except for a flat smile. If only they knew. They would be so dejected. A murderer among them.
No, they wouldn’t… They were too good for that. He knew that.
He didn’t belong there-
He did. He just needed a bit of time.
But-
“They were the ones who were selling weapons at any rate, I’ve heard. I just kicked their asses and bashed their heads in. As much as I could. I wasn’t the one to finish the work.”
“I see. Then?”
“Then…”
What should he tell them? He didn’t think he had been gone for a week. Should he go with a real truth again? Or a half truth? He could feel his brain work far too hard for this early morning, but Chifuyu was used to this. He was used to finding excuses, alibis, anything that would make him stay alive one more day.
“Needed some space. I was… working on something, and I got carried away. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to concern you.”
“You won’t tell what it is either?”
Chifuyu… he didn’t want to lie about this. It concerned them too.
“Not yet. But I will. I swear. I just…”
He would tell them. Everything.
Or have someone else tell it for them, if anything happened to him.
But he needed to finish this.
“I just need more time.”
There was silence once more in the quiet room. The sun was slowly rising higher in the sky, illuminating the darkness they were in. Baji slowly started working on his wound again without a word. Ryusei sighed.
“That’s fine, Chifuyu. But please don’t disappear like that again. Tell us how long you’re gone, or even better, where you are, for real this time. And you need to check at least once a day with Baji or I.”
Chifuyu smiled, something a bit more real this time, amused.
“What am I, your child?”
Ryusei glared at him.
“I mean it, Chifuyu. It’s your last chance. After that, we’ll involve ourselves whether you want it or not.”
Baji nodded.
“If you don’t follow the ground rules, I’ll be the one bashing your head in,” he added.
Chifuyu felt his heart warm.
And hurt too. It hurt, just a bit more than before.
“Thanks, guys…
...I’m sorry.”
Notes:
Chifuyu: I'm sorry.
Ryusei: please stop saying that you're giving me the shivers
Chifuyu: :)
Ryusei: ....Chifuyu no-Gosh so much trauma to unpack in this chapter.
Me during chapter: 'huh hopefully it's not too obvious and I'll still be able to surprise them with the tape reveal?'
Chapter 17: R: Something excruciatingly lonely.
Summary:
The next course of action is decided. Ryusei just want to be by Chifuyu's side this time.
Baji goes to meet a few friends...
And Draken? Draken was really just peacefully minding his own business. Not that it ever lasted long.
Notes:
A chappie! Happy to see you guys! Wow, I feel like I'm finally moving again. The last three chapters felt like stagnation honestly, for some reason...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Was that Matsuno-san?
Baji turned to Ryusei as the dark-skinned boy got out of Chifuyu’s bedroom.
“Um? Yeah. She left for work just now. Said she cooked breakfast. How’s Chifuyu?”
“He went back to sleep. We should wait a few hours before waking him up.”
“Figured.”
Baji combed a hand into his hair, with an annoyed sigh.
“I don’t like it.”
Ryusei couldn’t help but agree.
“I know,” he said, sitting in the couch and leaning against the cushion. “But we can’t do much about it for now. That’s why we gotta stay here.”
“It’s because you guys keep pulling the joker on me.”
Ryusei barked a small laugh at that.
“The joker? You mean when we ask to take care of our own business ourselves? That’s what you call joker? It’s not my fault you made that your last stop.”
“I should just remove it entirely then.”
“You won’t.”
Ryusei knew he wouldn’t.
“Still, I just want to rack through his things right now to understand what’s going on.”
“Give him time, Baji.”
Chifuyu… in that moment, in the darkness of his room, when he spoke as though he had forgotten they were even there… it appeared to Ryusei that they had only been seeing the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more, bottled inside Chifuyu that he wouldn’t show them yet, it had scared Ryusei. Ryusei had seen Baji freeze too, when he realized it.
When he heard those words too.
“Tell me you wouldn’t do it too!”
Ryusei had already done so before. And it was Chifuyu who had torn him away from the darkness. Ryusei had told Baji that, he had cried over that, the possibility of what could have happened to him, if he had relinquished to that darkness. Chifuyu had saved him. If there hadn’t been Chifuyu…
“You know, what he said makes sense,” he said pensively.
Baji frowned, distasteful of the idea if his features were to be believed.
“Ah? What do you mean? I wouldn’t leave everyone alone like you just because I’d think it’s the best for them-”
“Not for juvie guy either?”
Baji gritted his teeth, not saying anymore, obviously irritated.
“See what I mean? And Chifuyu’s the kind of guy who doesn’t leave. And he’s surrounded by idiots like you and me… Seems like his ideal type of friend or something.”
That was a thought. Ryusei’s eyes glazed over to the corner of the living room, where the family memorial was. There was the picture of a man there, whom Ryusei assumed was Chifuyu’s father.
“How did Chifuyu’s father die?” he asked, latching on the only thread he could find.
Baji shrugged.
“Chifuyu said it was when he tried to protect a little girl from a truck or something… I remember he told me that when I first beat him up.”
“Weird man.”
“Shut up.”
Ryusei thought about it. That was Chifuyu’s childhood trauma. No wonder…
“No wonder he has abandonment issues.”
“Excuse me?”
Baji whipped toward him with a disbelieving expression.
“That’s bullshit.”
“You just needed to hear him talk an hour ago to notice that, Baji, don’t be in denial.”
“What does it even mean? Precisely.”
Ryusei didn’t have abandonment issues, and he didn’t know many people who did. Kojiro by all means, would never fear others abandoning him since he thought they would do more harm in his life anyway. Chifuyu, at the opposite spectrum, might even let his friends hurt him if it meant they stayed.
“It means… that you’re afraid of people leaving you. Often, it happens because of some past event that made you like that. Chifuyu said his father was his ideal or something, right? I guess if he idealized the way his dad left, then it means he’s unconsciously downplaying the trauma of his death. Apart from meeting you, I don’t know what could have triggered such a major development.”
Baji didn’t say anything. It seemed like he had trouble understand all of Ryusei’s thoughts on the subject.
“Basically, that means we don’t leave him, right?”
Ryusei perked up, one eyebrow raised.
“Uh? What do you mean?”
“I mean… If he’s afraid we’re going to leave him behind and that’s why he’s disappearing on us, then we solve the two problems just by staying with him. That’s simple.”
Ryusei stared at Baji with wide eyes. He chuckled.
“That’s so stupid!”
“Hey!” Baji showed his teeth, frustrated. “It’ll work!”
“Nah, I’m sorry, you’re right Baji.”
Ryusei ran his hand in his bang, feeling tired. Baji really had that ability to uncomplicate things like that. It was a breath of fresh air sometimes.
“It might not solve the actual problem, but it’s the best we can do right now. You still going to talk to your friends about this?”
Leaning back in the couch as he was, Ryusei could not see Baji anymore, but he heard the older boy pacing slowly around the dinner table as he debated his options. After about half a minute, he ceased walking. His voice was thoughtful.
“The situation is not as dire, I guess. Still… It was in his eyes. Even when he smiled, he seemed… Far away.”
Oh. Ryusei remembered what Baji was speaking of. That terrifying sight, so close yet so far away. Baji had a history with that. With people he thought he held preciously in his palm, yet easily slipping through his fingers as though they were never so close. What did it feel like? When it felt like the roles were the same, just different persons?
Ryusei reminisced, about when Chifuyu first joined Toman. It was a rocky start, in all honesty, even if Ryusei was only there for half of that story. He knew that Baji had been reluctant at the idea of letting Chifuyu in. Baji… it seemed he had always had people gravitating around him. Ryusei didn’t know if it was about charism or kindness. Yet Baji felt like he failed these people. And he had feared that Chifuyu would only be another person hurt because they couldn’t help burning themselves upon the flame he was. Ryusei could picture it, how this situation made his irrational fears resurface.
He heard a sigh.
“It can’t be helped. Even if it looks like things are going to get better, I just can’t risk it. I’ll go ask for advice, I guess.”
“I see…”
Ryusei really didn’t like when situations like this played right into their traumas.
“When are you going?”
“Right now.”
…What.
Hold on a second.
Ryusei stood up immediately, turning toward Baji who already seemed on his way to the door.
“Right now? Why?”
Baji looked at him with a confused frown, as though Ryusei was the one not making sense. The gall of that bastard.
“When else? That way we can split tasks. I go talk to Mikey and the others, and you accompany Chifuyu to the hospital to get his bone checked. Grill him for info too if you can.”
“You’re not serious…”
“I am.”
Ryusei facepalmed. Why was he getting roped into this? …Well, Chifuyu did need to go to a hospital, and he didn’t seem keen on going by his own initiative.
“Alright, alright. I’ll do it. Guess I’ll have to catch on sleep later, huh.”
“Sucks to be you. See you later.”
Just like that, the fucker was gone. Ryusei sat down at the dinner table and massaged his temples. Why did he have to have such an impulsive captain? Couldn’t even wait a few hours before moving on to do stuff. Now Ryusei had to be careful, else the brat would leave him there and flee to wherever he’d been that last week.
Whatever. It’s not like Ryusei could catch any sleep even if he wanted to.
Every time he closed his eyes, bribes of that conversation came back to his mind. That haunted voice echoed in his ears, and he felt sick all over again.
“It doesn’t concern me, actually.”
The unbearable bitterness of the words.
“Shit’s gone down somewhere, and it’s always stupid people doing stupid things telling themselves it’s gonna be fine and they forget that there’re people out there who…”
The intensity, as though Chifuyu had lived through this a thousand times before.
The sheer helplessness in his voice.
“In the end, all of them… all of you…”
The silent, humorless laugh that Chifuyu had mimed unknowingly then.
“You all disappear without thinking about the consequences, do you?”
The resentment, burned in Ryusei’s memory.
In front of Ryusei’s very eyes, lingering in the dark, accentuated by the very pale light that filtered through the curtains, Chifuyu had descended into a spiral so much darker that Ryusei hadn’t been able to discern where it was leading, nor what it held at its core. The abyss in Chifuyu’s eyes, that he hadn’t noticed before, seemed to be swirling too, in that deadly spiral, and Chifuyu had seemed to progressively change into something darker, rougher, full of a slow and silent madness that Ryusei knew he could not stop. Ryusei had felt helpless, as Chifuyu slowly turned into an unrecognizable… person. Not a child, not an adult. Something so excruciatingly lonely.
And yet, that person had been Chifuyu. Ryusei had seen, in that Chifuyu something extremely raw. All of the facades, all the skin peeled away to reveal something horrifying. And it had hurt. It looked like it hurt too. Something usually so fiercely protected, lashing out with the ferocity of a wounded beast. A desperate wounded beast, with no one left to care for it.
That didn’t belong to a twelve-year-old.
And then it all turned blank. Everything disappeared. The raw flame, the wounds, even the exhaustion, nothing was left. Both the eyes and the voice were empty, hollow of emotion and maybe of meaning too. It had felt like whiplash.
Baji must have felt it too. His instincts were too carnal not to have noticed something at least, even if he hadn’t been staring right into Chifuyu’s eyes at that moment.
They said the admittance of a problem’s existence was always half the solution, but right now, Ryusei was inclined to believe whoever came up with that was a liar or a fool.
Ryusei was just a measly gang member and a middle schooler. And so was Chifuyu. So why did so many problems end up piling at their feet?
He didn’t know how long he sat there, haunted by his own thoughts, looking at the ceiling. The more he thought about this, the less any of this made sense.
It was like…
“Ah- Ryusei?” a surprised murmur reached his ears, and he straightened to stare at the newcomer.
“Chifuyu.”
He greeted him with a welcoming smile. The surprised features of the other boy, as he rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, turned into a childlike wonder for an instant.
“Why are you looking so taken aback?” Ryusei teased him, hoping to move on before this turned awkward. “Did you wish so bad that I’d leave?”
Chifuyu blinked with those same wonderstruck eyes.
“I thought…”
Then, he cut himself and blinked away, the wonder and surprise erased and replaced by a subtly guarded expression. Ryusei noticed it, and he didn’t like it.
“Why would I leave?”
“Nevermind, I was elsewhere.”
“Huh,” Ryusei hummed, unconvinced.
Even if he didn’t believe it, there was very little he could do about it right now.
“Where’s Baji? I remember he was here too, wasn’t he?”
“You don’t remember well? You must’ve been still more tired than I’d thought. He’s gone meet with a few of his friends. Left you in my care.”
“You don’t need to babysit me,” Chifuyu pierced him with a sharp but unreadable glance.
It had been like that for a while, hadn’t it? For a couple weeks, Chifuyu’s expressions had exhausted themselves, and most of those he kept using were blank, neutral. Ryusei just couldn’t see what the other had in mind.
“I’m torn between telling you that, clearly, you do, and pointing out that this isn’t babysitting,” Ryusei sighed, pulling a hand at his neck. “Look, Chifuyu.”
His tone turned serious, almost pleading, and that attracted his friend’s attention. Even now, as Ryusei kindly regarded him, there was a glint of uncertainty in Chifuyu’s eyes, that he was unwilling to hide behind boredom or neutrality. Ryusei was happy to know that Chifuyu valued him as a friend in that small giveaway he was willing to offer.
“I can’t say that I understand what exactly is happening right now. Baji doesn’t either, in fact. But that doesn’t mean anything to us. We may not understand, but we don’t need to understand to be here for you. Let us look after you, at least?”
Chifuyu didn’t react at all. Ryusei could only guess, from the way his unblinking gaze was glued to his outstretched hand, that his thoughts were spinning wildly.
“You don’t need to do this,” was all he said.
Ryusei smirked, standing up and walking to Chifuyu anyway.
“But I want to,” he said confidently, taking the other’s hand in his. “So will you?”
Chifuyu was silent, unmoving for what felt like a few minutes. Ultimately, he lowered his chin, closing his eyes momentarily as though as a sign of defeat.
“Do as you please, I guess.”
Ryusei grinned.
“Great! Now let’s eat!”
Hopefully, everything would be alright, he thought to himself as he dragged Chifuyu around. He also hoped he didn’t imagine that little smile at the corner of the blond boy’s lips, just before he turned away.
“Quick, quick! We have something to do after that.”
“Something to do?”
“Yeah! You’ll see~”
Draken was peacefully minding his own business…
No. That was a lie.
Draken’s peaceful business-minding had sunk deep under the ocean’s surface early morning. No, worse than that, it had actually disappeared the first time Draken met Mikey. But back to the matter at hand. Draken’s peaceful morning was disturbed, as usual, by the need to wake Mikey for school. At first, he had decided that he wouldn’t care – like dozens of other mornings – but then he had received an angry call from Emma telling him to visit immediately to shake her good for nothing brother out of bed to go to school.
That ship had sunk too, just like his plan of a peaceful life. Then again, he had only started dreaming for a peaceful life after meeting Mikey, so maybe that ship had never even taken shape in the first place. At any rate, Mikey had refused to go to school. In one of his tantrums, he had decided to hang out instead. Well, no real surprise up until then. The problem was that Draken hadn’t been able to stop him to go and drag their other friends from their respective school in his mess. And what was even more stupid was that, instead of hanging at their usual place, Mikey had decided to bother Mitsuya at his home.
Which almost brought them to now.
But it wasn’t yet now.
Then, it was. Then, Draken was very happy that Baji hadn’t been at school. At least that meant he didn’t add to the current chaos. They were all lucky that Mana and Luna were at school or surely Mitsuya would have stabbed them all for their trouble and hidden them in the fridge for the next low-sale meal. Even though Draken had no part in this.
“Ken-chin! Come over here! Look at this! Which is the best?”
Draken reluctantly opened an eye from his short nap. He wished he could be paid for this.
“What?” he straightened.
He made his way through the mess on his hands and knees to see the TV screen from behind Mikey’s shoulder, fully ready to go back to sleep – id est peacefully minding his own business in this case – if it wasn’t worth his braincell.
He frowned.
“Mikey,” he drawled it out, “did you hack Pacman?”
“Purple of green? Come on! Black is better, isn’t it?”
“Why did you hack Pacman?”
“I was bored.”
“What did you do to the ghosts?”
“They’re better than way. More scary…”
“Where are the coins? Wait, are these supposed to be dorayaki?” he whispered in disbelief. “This is heresy Mikey,”
The child man pouted.
“Not my fault there’s not enough pixel to make something more precise.”
“No but why are they moving?!”
“Just tell me blue or black?”
Mitsuya chipped from his seat in front of his sewing machine.
“I thought it was purple and green.”
“I changed my mind.”
Draken facepalmed.
This was what he had to deal with every day. Someone end his misery, please.
“If you take purple or black, then won’t you end up with an invisible packman?” Pah-chin asked, crunching on crisps.
“That would be like an expert level!”
“What if you turn the ghosts invisible too?” Mitsuya tonelessly suggested, busy doing whatever. “Now that’d be hardcore.”
“I’m going back to sleep…”
“Just don’t forget to change it back to normal when you’re finished, Mikey. Luna likes this game.”
“It’ll work out… I could add a second packman!”
Tune them out…
Well, it could be worse. At least it was only the four of them. Draken was happy he didn’t have to deal with Smiley’s trigger-happy attitude or Hakkai’s angry worshipping. If they were, Draken and Angry would simply commiserate together.
He lied back down on the tatami. He was feeling very tired from all the bullshit. Maybe it’d get better if their leader could just find someone to punch… Not that Draken wished for a sudden opponent to the Tokyo Manji gang to appear, but… alright, damn he did wish for that. He could work his own nerves off that way.
At any rate, here he was just peacefully minding his own business… relatively, despite the gremlins he shared his space with, … and that was already ominous in and off itself. Because Draken never got a moment to catch a breather.
So really, Draken should have expected it when the door slammed open to even more trouble.
He jolted back up, ready to be met with some kind of intruder, and he shouldn’t have been surprised to meet the angry long-haired boy that they hadn’t been able to get a hold of earlier, looking like one of them had pissed in his pants… and like he ran a marathon, for some reason.
Oh, it’s just Baji…
Wait, shit, it’s Baji.
“You guys…” Baji emitted a low growl that just stated trouble.
Mikey made a peace sign.
“Yo.”
Yep. Draken could literally smell the big amount of trouble heading their way.
Just like that, Baji was set off.
“You guys are the worst! I’m going to beat the shit out of all of you!”
He went Draken’s relatively peaceful business-minding. You will be missed.
Notes:
Kudos for Draken.
Pity kudos for Baji too, please.
Chapter 18: A: Just come at me, I guess.
Summary:
Baji gets a special talk session with his friends.
Mikey is curious, but honestly he might be a bit worried.
Ryusei and Chifuyu run into problems at the hospital.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Mikey had no idea what Baji was talking about.
“Seriously, I had to run across the entire district three times at least before I found you lot! Is it some new game? You want me to die? Is that it?”
He swallowed the remains of his snack before replying to Baji.
“Sounds tough.”
“You did it on purpose, you little shit! I’m going to end you this time around, at least fucking warn a guy! Goddammit!”
Really, it was because Mikey was only half listening. It didn’t sound all that interesting. Instead, his blank eyes kept tracking Mitsuya’s movements. Because in their spar, they had just happened to create a worse chaos than before. And somehow, Mitsuya was mad.
Nice.
“I mean, man, why didn’t you bring your bike? You stupid or something?”
“It’s your fault for doing things like that! I wasted half a day because of you! You know there’re actually people I need to go back to-”
Ouch. That must’ve hurt. Mikey just took another snack, watching upon the sight of a silent Baji curled on himself with his bruised skull in his head, with Mitsuya standing over him, looking quite… mad.
If Mikey was a kinder man, he’d be feeling sympathy right now. But really…
“Say, Baji… What do you say to people when you just wrecked their home?”
He was just glad he hadn’t been the one starting it, or he would be the one hurting right now. Mitsuya was smiling creepily, and a dangerous aura emanated from him, it was dangerous.
“Sorry, Mitsuya.”
“What else?”
“…I’ll clean.”
Finally, some calm was back.
Yes, Mikey was aware to be a hypocrite as he thought that.
Draken, who had decided this was none of his business and had resumed his nap during the fight, took that opportunity to wake up and finally greet the newcomer.
“Yo. Fancy seeing you there, Baji. Thought you were skipping somewhere else.”
Baji grumbled as he took on the gigantic task Mitsuya had pressured him to take on.
“I was busy.”
“You’ve been busy for a while,” Mikey quipped in after an instant of thought.
It must have been two weeks at least since Baji hadn’t hung out with any of them. Mikey was almost jealous.
At the mention of his past activities – whatever they were – Baji turned quiet. His features distorted to form a thinking frown. Mikey could only assume that meant he had something important he’d been doing… or something. If Baji wasn’t going to talk about it, then it was none of his business. Probably.
Things quieted down. Baji’s stunt was soon forgotten and their different activities started again. That was the kind of peace that Mikey appreciated the best.
“So?” he questioned, turning back to his game. “Where have you been?”
“Nowhere in particular. At school, mostly. At a friend’s.”
Baji’s answer was vague.
“Hum?” Mikey hummed, changing the packman character’s color to black. “Must be nice.”
“It was the worst,” Baji sighed.
Mikey still could not get a hang of Baji’s thought process, but this sounded like it was leading to a problem sharing. He frowned.
“Tough luck. So? Why did you come here?”
Baji stopped moving on the side. Mikey spared him a side-glance, surprised to see the expression on his face. It was the same as the one from one or two months ago… when was it again? When they had their captain reunion.
“Did something happen in you division again?” he took a guess.
Baji blinked. Shook his head.
“Can’t really say it’s a problem in the division.”
Mikey heard some shuffle on his left. Seemed like Draken was listening too.
“Did someone specifically give you trouble?”
This time, the answer was even vaguer. Baji shrugged with a sigh, yet he didn’t seem as irritated as Mikey expected him to be for that kind of thing.
“Something like that, I guess.”
Mikey and Draken shared a glance. It was unusual on Baji’s part to sigh so much in a single minute, for one. On another hand, he didn’t seem to be willing to speak all that much about it.
“Maybe that’s not what you wanted to talk about?”
Hopefully Baji hadn’t done something stupid that warranted a Baji intervention… like falling in love, or deciding he wanted to be a cook. That would be funny, but Mikey really didn’t want to deal with that kind of thing.
Baji hummed. He was done with the broom after another couple of minutes, and then it wasn’t too difficult for him to put the big and the little things in their original places. After that, he plopped down heavily next to Mikey.
“A friend’s been keeping me busy.”
Mikey didn’t pause his game, but he did catch on the detail. Even Mitsuya was interested, turning on his chair to face them.
“The friend you were at recently?” Mitsuya divined.
It was rare for Baji to have a friend and not talk to them about it. The last friend they met was the supposedly extremely annoying ex vice-captain, Satou Ryusei… which Draken had eventually admitted to Mikey was in fact very annoying when he wanted to be. A bit like Mikey himself, he said. Mikey couldn’t say he liked the comparison. There was no one quite like him, Mikey was simply unique. That’s what he had told Draken who had rolled his eyes at him. Hmph.
Now that Mikey thought about it, there was someone else. The new vice captain, Fuyu or something. It was a quiet one, from what Mikey could tell. And he’d looked at Baji as though the boy had hung the moon and the stars in the night sky. Mikey wondered if Baji had realized it. Probably not, Baji was dense as fuck. He didn’t seem to realize how many people he attracted. Between those first division members who would follow him to the end of earth and… Mikey closed his eyes, unwilling to think about him.
“Yeah… That one. You remember the guy I brought to the last few official meetings?”
Oh. So it was about that one.
“The blond nervous guy?” Draken tilted his head. "Your new vice-cap?"
“Yeah.”
“Oh! The one who took care of Pochi! He’s a nice one!” Pah-chin exclaimed with a grin.
“Matsuno Chifuyu,” Mitsuya remembered easily. “So he’s your ‘friend’…”
“All of you shut the fuck up.”
Draken chuckled along with Mitsuya. Mikey cracked a smile, but he couldn’t hear the usual conviction behind Baji’s spite. It was rare for Baji to admit he made a friend, especially after the traumatizing night they had about soon to be a year ago. Mikey had noticed, but had decided not to comment on it in the end.
“He’s in Toman too,” he remarked, disguising his inquiry as a casual note. “Has he been causing problems?”
“He is,” Baji conceded, “but it’s not something that pertains to Toman, specifically. Not the same kind of problem. I’m not sure I want to get Toman involved in that mess."
Mikey ticked.
Something that even Baji Keisuke was calling a mess, huh.
“So you came here… for help? About the mess? But you don’t want help?” Pah-Chin said very confused. “Help me here, I’m stupid so I don’t understand.”
“I came for advice.”
Now, that was even more unexpected.
Something must be really wrong.
“Is it not something you can solve with your fists?” Draken inquired, he too was surprised.
Baji shook his head. He ran his hand across his forehead to draw his bang back, in a frustrated manner.
“It’s a bit of a… delicate mess.”
Draken’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. Mitsuya didn’t look far from doing the exact same. Mikey himself didn’t know if he heard that right.
“A delicate mess?” he reiterated, to make sure that was what he heard.
He’d never thought he’d see the day where Baji would get involved in a ‘delicate’ mess.
“Oh my,” Mitsuya winced.
“Yeah,” Baji barked a laugh, and Mikey found that even more surprising. “That’s why I need advice. I… I don’t usually say this about anything but with this… I’m out of my league.”
Oh.
Mikey paused his game. He turned to stare at Baji better. His childhood friend seemed… somewhat tired. His laugh wasn’t all that good-humored either. This might actually be serious.
“What happened?”
“Huh… lots of things. Did you know there was some kind of gun trafficking org that took siege in the district, recently?”
Mikey frowned.
“I didn’t know.”
Mitsuya shook his head, for some reason.
“I did,” he said, contradicting his action. “I wish neither of you heard of it,” he added, addressing Mikey and Baji. “It’s too dangerous even for Toman, Baji. Don’t tell me you went and landed yourself in a bigger mess,” his tone was warning.
Mikey could understand where he was coming from. Something like that, they couldn’t really do anything about it. They weren’t in the same league at all. Still, it frustrated Mikey to no end to know some nobody thought they could do whatever on his territory.
But he agreed with Mitsuya. It would be very bad if Baji had acted on his own.
“I don’t have anything to do with it,” Baji responded, with a strange insistence on the first person pronoun. “Everything was finished before I even learned of the damned thing. So my friend, the blond guy Chifuyu…”
“Did he do something?” Mitsuya sounded worried now.
Mikey could remember the boy. He was very small compared to Baji. About Mikey’s height perhaps, he had nice determined eyes and from what Baji had told them about him before, it seemed that he knew how to fight. But still.
“I don’t really know the story. He wouldn’t tell me much, so I don’t know what’s true and what’s a lie. He told me he was mad and they were on his way, but I’m not certain that’s the entire truth, not with the way…”
Baji shook his head, keeping his thought to himself and exhaling slowly.
“He got shot.”
Mikey had to stop himself from breaking the console.
“Ah?”
Someone had attacked one of his own?
Unacceptable.
“Where are they now?”
“Mikey! Don’t be stupid!”
Baji turned to stare at him, dead in the eyes.
“Heard they’re all at the hospital now,” he revealed.
It was definitely a surprise.
“It’s not Chifuyu who did it, is it?”
Baji shook his head wildly.
“I don’t know! But all the guys Ryusei and I talked to seemed to say he was the only one there! Half of them were shot in the legs. Chifuyu wouldn’t have done that. He’s hot-tempered, but he’s too nice for something like that. Even if I suspect he could totally make people shoot each other with the smarts he has… That makes no sense.
His shoulders were hunched in. Baji looked so defeated right now, even Pah-Chin could see it. He pressed a hand on the tall boy’s shoulder.
“Why would he do something like that?” he was muttering. “Why would he get involved? He’s the kind of guy who does things for a reason, but it’s like there’s nothing! I just don’t believe his bullshit. He didn’t even go treat his wound. That dumbass, what is he thinking?”
This was more worrying than Mikey had first thought.
“The guy’s always following me usually… But up until yesterday he disappeared for an entire week with no warning and not even any indication that he was alive! Even now that he’s back, it feels like I can’t reach him. I don’t understand what I should do.”
Mitsuya was alarmed too.
“Are we still talking about Matsuno Chifuyu? I talked to him a dozen times, and I can’t tell he’s not the type to do things like that.”
“Yeah, he’s not. He suddenly changed about two weeks ago. It’s been a mess since, I think. I’m not sure. I think I tried almost everything I could think of by now. Violence, nicety, subtlety, threats, heart to heart talks… It’s like nothing works! Am I the one doing things wrong?”
Baji’s voice was turning more and more distressed the more he was speaking. He seemed more tired too. He had needed to confide in them. Now Mikey regretted a bit more not telling him where they were. Even if he had had no way to know.
“So that’s why you’ve been busy,” he mentioned. “Where is Chifuyu now?”
“Right now, Ryusei must have dragged him at the hospital. Ryusei said we should just give him time…”
But Baji was never one to wait. It must be excruciating for him to force himself to patience when it seemed no result would come out of it.
“So I came for advice. I thought you all might know more than me about that kind of finicky thing.”
Mikey tilted his head.
“This sounds pretty serious, in all honesty,” he admitted head on to his friend. “Could I meet him?”
Baji turned a guarded glare toward him, and he had to clarify.
“I don’t mean anything, I just wanna talk to him five minutes. He’s Toman’s, after all. And he’s yours.”
If Chifuyu was Baji’s, then he was Mikey’s too. Because everyone belonged to Mikey in the end.
“…You promise you won’t sick the whole gang on him?”
“I really do. Just a friendly meeting.”
“…Okay.”
“Alright,” Mikey smiled, hopefully it was a reassuring one. “Tell me when you can afford it, I’ll be free.”
“You,” Draken groaned, “you’re planning on ditching school again, aren’t you?”
“What do you want me to say?” he chirped. “This is more important! By the way. You can’t come with.”
“Hah? Do you think you really can handle walking down a single street without me?”
“Wow, rude. Look, if we’re together, we’re gonna freak the guy out. I don’t wanna scare my future friend!”
By the way, that was a thought. He hummed, turning back to Baji as he started the game again.
“Say, how’s he usually? That Chifuyu?”
"Don't you already know him? You talk at him once every three meetings."
"Remind me."
After sighing once, Baji didn’t really need to think long to answer the question, which told a lot to Mikey about their friendship. It was satisfying to see.
“He likes manga. A lot. Lots of shoujo, but shonen too. He’s… kinda excited. Actually, I think you’d like him normally. He was surprisingly nice at first, when I met him… despite the stupid hairstyle. Thankfully he changed it, now he looks like an actual twelve year old kid.”
Mikey nodded along.
“Also, he doesn’t get along with Ryusei. But that’s just ‘cause Ryusei’s an asshole to him for some reason. I don’t get them.”
Then, as though right on clue, Baji’s phone started to ring.
“Speaking of the wolf… It’s Ryusei. Just a sec.
Baji stood up and answered the call, walking a few steps away from Mikey and the other.
“What is it?”
There was a small pause during which Baji’s frown turned into a full on grimace.
“C’me on. If you tell me he went and disappeared again-… huh?”
Mikey and Draken looked at each other and shrugged. Then, Baji got mad.
“HAH? What the… Wait, what about him? Ryusei?”
It wasn’t long until Ryusei hung off on Baji. Now Baji seemed half pissed off and half worried out of his mind, for some reason.
“Did something happen?” risked Mitsuya after watching Baji pull back on his coat.
“Yeah, trouble at the hospital. Need to go before anyone get their noses broken… Chifuyu’s being stupid too, from what I heard.”
Well… Mikey put off the game and the TV, feeling like he wouldn’t be able to go back to playing afterward. He stood up.
“Which hospital?”
He didn’t know why all of them looked so surprised all of a sudden. It was his territory after all, and people were fighting on it. And he might as well use the occasion to meet Baji’s little protégé officially.
“Ah? Mikey what are you on?”
Mikey smirked.
“You didn’t take your bike, right? Let’s go on mine.”
Some time earlier.
“This is where you wanted to bring me?”
“Yeah? What’s the problem?”
“It’s a hospital?”
“Yeah. Where’s the problem?”
Chifuyu sighed, as though Ryusei was the one being unreasonable.
“Alright… I guess, since we’re already here…”
“Great! Let’s get inside.”
Before Ryusei could drag Chifuyu inside the edifice, Chifuyu had just the time to throw one last glance behind him.
“Don’t worry about those thugs now, Chifuyu. First of all, they were in another hospital. Second of all… most of them must be discharged by now. Discharged and in jail.”
Chifuyu nodded, keeping silent. Ryusei really didn’t know what went on in his mind behind that neutral look. He decided not to worry about it for now. They entered the hospital and Ryusei talked with the receptionist to explain the problem. His main issue while planning this was that the fact that the actual gunshot wound wasn’t quite healed. The doctors couldn’t not recognize the cause of the injury. But he had his excuse ready.
“We went on a vacation and unfortunately my friend got into an accident at the shooting range. There wasn’t any hospital around so we had to get the bullet out ourselves… We cleaned it up the best we could, and the previous doctor we saw told us everything was fine, but I think something’s not right with his bone, so my mom sent us both here when we came back,” he spew his story out with a mildly concerned tone.
Thankfully, the doctor who was examining Chifuyu seemed not to question his bullshit too much and quickly got to work. It was a bit nerve-wracking on Ryusei’s part, but after a while, Chifuyu’s arm was in a cast, and he didn’t seem more traumatized or anything so Ryusei let out the breath he’d been holding.
“It's mostly fine, but you'll need some surgery to make sure everything gets back at the right place. Though," and then the doctor through a suspicious glance at them, something with disapproval in it, "I need to talk to your legal guardian before I can sign you up for it."
“Thank you, doctor.”
The surgery wouldn’t be free of charge, but this time they got off with Ryusei only having to call his own mom - and her playing along easily because she was just too used to his bullshit, even though he'd have some explaining to do at home - so that the doctor could confirm everything with her. The doctor even went so far as to make sure she was Ryusei's legal guardian - but thankfully didn't check Chifuyu's, maybe it wasn't necessary once he confirmed they hadn't been kidnapped. They were out of there with a sharp command to bring their parents next time. All in all... it went as well as it could.
“It’s inconvenient,” Chifuyu grumbled as they walked back to the main area. “I can’t move it well…”
“That’s the whole point, you idiot. If you moved it, it would hurt worse. Don’t force it.”
Chifuyu pressed his lips together, with a displeased princely look on his face. Now he looked even more like a dissatisfied cat. The comparison would never get old.
The visit, overall, went without any trouble.
The same couldn’t be said for the walk back home, that got interrupted as soon as they left the hospital. There, just outside out of range of the nice people who didn’t do anything, was a group of thirty something bastards.
“You. I knew it was you when I saw you,” the one in front said.
Ryusei pointed at himself, not remembering any face like that.
“Not you. The pipsqueak.”
Chifuyu didn’t react at all. It was like he already knew.
“And you’re the one who’s been following us around for fifteen minutes before we got in the hospital,” he said instead, in a bored tone.
Ryusei hadn’t even noticed.
That was rare for Ryusei not to notice it. Last he heard, Chifuyu wasn’t so perceptive either compared to him. How had he known? No, most importantly. These thirty four? Thirty five guys were here to break their bones, weren’t they?
Ryusei and Chifuyu were strong, but they wouldn’t be able to knock off thirty whole ass adults, especially not with Chifuyu’s arm as he was. Where did they even come from?
“Who are you again?” he asked, half curious, but mostly to gain time as he typed Baji’s phone number discretely.
“Just a random to be hired group. Your friend over here made the mistake of attacking a couple of our own and getting away with it. We’re here to give the trouble back tenfold.”
“I won’t let you escape this time, pipsqueak.”
Thankfully Chifuyu stepped in front of Ryusei to cover him.
“I don’t know who you are.”
“You kidding? You! A week ago you dishonored me in an unfair fight! You thought you could humiliate me on a job and forget all about it? I’m here to take my revenge.”
“Oh. You’re the one I knocked out and dumped on the side of the street! I remember you now!” Chifuyu made a pathetic show of being enlightened. “But is it really a fair fight if it’s you punks against us two?”
Ryusei used the opportunity Chifuyu was giving him to call Baji.
The call went through in only a few seconds.
“What is it?”
“Baji,” Ryusei whispered as a greeting. “Don’t get mad. But I think I kinda need your help here… It’s…”
Ryusei interrupted himself when it seemed the thugs were about to attack. Not yet.
“C’me on. If you tell me he went and disappeared again-”
“That’s not it!” Ryusei was quick to shut the fear off. “But we’re in a dangerous predicament. Thirty guys jumped us when we got out of the hospital. They’re adults, and Chifuyu’s arm is in a cast, I don’t think we can pull this off.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. So apparently one or two of these dumbasses were hired as some sort of punching mercenaries for the gun trafficking guys. At least that’s what I got. They’re accusing Chifuyu of having assaulted them unfairly and now they want revenge. So Chifuyu’s holding them off right now with small talk but…”
He heard a long and heavy sigh. It was Chifuyu.
“Seems like it can't be helped,” he said, resigned, stepping away from Ryusei and toward the group.
Ryusei blinked, it took about two seconds to understand what Chifuyu was doing.
“…it doesn’t seem like it’s going well- Wait. Chifuyu? What are you doing, wait! Are you stupid?”
He wasn’t going to fight them all like a suicidal lidiot, was he?
“HAH? What the… Wait, what about him?”
Oh gods, he was.
“Look, just get over here quickly man, you know which it is,” he told the other boy who heard everything.
“Ryusei?-”
Ryusei hung up.
“Chifuyu don’t-”
“Stay behind, Ryusei. I’ll deal with them.”
Ryusei froze at the cold sound of his friend’s voice. He watched as Chifuyu placed himself in the center of the space between the two parts.
“I think I can wipe the floor with your faces even with one arm down,” Chifuyu provoked boredly, to Ryusei’s horror.
It fucking worked.
“Ah?! Hear that guys? Let’s destroy his face…”
Chifuyu tilted his head, gesturing for them to approach in that universal provokind stance.
“Just come at me, I guess.”
The rest happened quickly.
Notes:
Who asked for BAMF Chifuyu? >:D
Chapter 19: , : There was no point either way.
Summary:
Chifuyu fights adults.
Ryusei cannot bring himself to accept this new Chifuyu.
Mikey just wants to help... but his presence might only make things worse.
Chifuyu is not ready.
Notes:
me: how do I write battlefields? Shit, I'm gonna give up...
me: *watches Wind Breaker for the first time*
also me afterward: *writes the fighting scene like she's a pro when she's not, and wow it worked, now what about the rest?*This chapter was complicated. Mostly because it was supposed to be twice as long. So I cut it in two parts, important brainful dialogue will come later for now let this author rest... phew!
Me when I don't know how to start a scene: what about a joyful little fullonangst flashback? :D always works.
Also, the point of view is intentionally confused during the first part of the chapter.
Here you go, enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It all happened quickly.
It was fast, the way those thirty something men sprung on Chifuyu. But Chifuyu was faster: lightning fast. The first man who approached his immediate perimeter would almost have the illusion to have hit him in the face. But he would then remember the calm predation in those bored blue eyes, dark, before a leg collapsed into the back of his skull, knocking him back toward his companions without any consciousness.
The second met a similar fate. A knee met his stomach with so much strength that he would have thrown up had it not been immediately followed up by a fist in his side. He ended up falling over his companions from the left, disturbing their footing and making one or two collapse with him as he went.
By now they were all encircling him. If the second boy had tried to jump in, he would have had trouble discerning who was who in the black crowd. It was fine, it seemed. Chifuyu could manage on his own. He jumped to avoid the three next guys, using one of their heads as balance to land on another, then banging the heads together the best he could despite being down one arm. He narrowly escaped a sucker punch to the face, ducking slightly and diving toward the offender, knocking him backward with a strong punch under the chin, then took out the next one much the same way with the hardness of his shoe.
He then turned in the same action, hitting about five ambushing guys with that same foot and using the light-headedness he provoked to eliminate them one by one with his punches in rapid succession.
At some point after that, his opponents lost sight of him: he wasn’t in the middle of their attacking circle anymore. There was confusion and falling bodies in the middle of the chaos. One only had the time to detect the trail of icy blue before their vision went dark. But next to that one, two correlated their actions, grasping at his arms while a third lunged for his throat. Chifuyu gritted his teeth, freeing himself by messing with the left man, and using the right one to throw at the man coming front. He then jumped over them to deliver a final strike.
There was no time to breathe, as four other guys had located him. He had to step behind to avoid a hand coming for his collar from the right, nearly tripping on the still gesticulating limbs on the ground as he did, but catching himself with an improvised somersault, not noticing the quiet thump in the midst of the cacophony, pivoting on his hand to hit two other guys with his right foot, landing on it before lunging for the next opponent from the back. A knee and a punch in the neck later, careful not to break the spine as he acted, he heard someone running toward his own back, and maybe the sound of something on the ground being knocked away from the main area of the fight, Chifuyu turned at the last second to surprise the surprise-attacker with a punch in the nose, not quite knocking him out but he finished the job with a quick series of punches just after, walking on the fallen body for good measure before turning to the next opponent – who were actually six, in a half-circle, blocking any way out as one of them yelled his position to the rest of the group behind him.
He tsk’ed.
He didn’t even react when a knife came from behind him, only letting the person lung under his arm, and elbowing his back, taking the weapon from him and using it’s blunt end to apply a mild concussion, probably, to its original owner, as well as the two who came diving for his legs right after, giving a kick to the stomach of one and jumping over the second.
Something cut the skin off his shoulder as he turned to face the barrage. He immediately located the blade and the opponent, grasping at that person’s wrist to control the weapon, as well as his collar to throw him over his shoulder and bash his skull into the ground, not stopping to avoid the jump of another with a duck and finishing off in the air with a powerful wild kick. He moved away from a teamed attack and took the collar of another guy to collide their foreheads together. He knocked another two in much the same fashion before he needed to use his feet again to defend against sideway opponents ganging up together.
All of this was quick. It couldn’t have happened in more than seconds or minutes.
It was Chifuyu’s own fault perhaps, he needed just one second to catch his breath. It was enough for one of the tougher fist-fight mercenaries to grab him by the shoulder and punched him to the ground, moving on top of him to finish him. Except Chifuyu focused as soon as his back collided with the ground, grasping at the strong man’s wrist and wrestling for control, his knee diving repeatedly into the other’s ribs as the one on top grunted. From the corner of his eyes, he saw another one crouching to knock him out and used twice as much strength to give a strong headbutt to his immediate opponent, using the momentum to drive the handle of one of the knives he collected into the man’s temple, instantly driving him away with a kick to get out from under the dead weight, escaping the second immediate threat, taking a few steps back and whipping his fists around when he collided into someone’s back, not letting them any time to grab and immobilize him. He turned back to the lunging man and dodged to the side, where he feigned a hit with the knife, which the other man dodged as well, trying to get Chifuyu’s free arm in a deadlock, almost succeeding were it not for Chifuyu planning ahead and taking hold of the wondering arm, pressing on it as to break it before swinging a kick at the man’s neck as he went down.
It was hectic. And not without a few hits on Chifuyu here and there. It ended up with the leader’s hand around Chifuyu’s throat, all his companions knocked out on the ground in a giant pile on which he’d forced Chifuyu to lose his balance. Chifuyu glared at him with the eyes of a cold-blooder killed.
In the end, he only broke his wrist. Punching once, twice, five time with his elbow then his knuckles over the same spot at the back of his head to make sure he stayed down.
By the end of the struggle, there was a mountain of fallen bodies, most of them unconscious and Chifuyu standing on top, heaving.
He did not glance in Ryusei’s direction.
Ryusei didn’t know why, but he was unable to move.
Earlier, during the fight, just three of the fighters had come his way, and that had been enough for him not to be able to come. Chifuyu hadn’t been answering to his name in the mess. Then, after finishing with them, he’d turned his attention back to the big fight and he froze, when he saw what was happening.
It was crazy, he thought, even as all he could do was stare up at Chifuyu catching his breath tiredly on top of the thirty and some whole damned adults that he had just taken out.
Those weren’t the fighting skills of a child.
“Chifuyu! Ryusei!”
Ryusei startled, hearing Baji’s voice. In the midst of the chaos and the surprise, neither Chifuyu nor Ryusei had registered the meaning of the motorcycle impulse that had gotten closer. It had stopped about twenty feet away from the whole debacle, and one figure jumped off of the bike to run in their direction.
There was a second figure, too, but Ryusei didn’t really think much about it for now. He found his limbs unfreezing, finally able to move, to run, and he ran. He ran, not toward Baji, but toward Chifuyu, avoiding the mess of intertwined limbs on the ground, a tripping trap, to get through to the other boy, who was still only standing and breathing, his gaze down as though in a trance.
“Chifuyu!” he called again once he reached him. “Are you okay?”
He reached for the boy’s shoulder which seemed to be cut, but Chifuyu avoided his touch. Only then did he turn toward him, his eyes still clouded by adrenaline.
“I’m fine,” he brushed off Ryusei’s concern, looking away immediately. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped in.”
He seemed to be waiting for something. Ryusei couldn’t care less what, right this moment. He held him tightly by both the shoulders and shook him.
“Are you absolutely crazy? Damn right you shouldn’t have! What if something had happened to you! They had fucking knives!”
Ryusei was terrified.
How was he supposed to protect Chifuyu from himself if Chifuyu threw himself at the wolves like that?
Chifuyu batted his hands away.
“I said I’m sorry. They were being annoying. And they weren’t so many. I knew I could do it.”
Ryusei stared at Chifuyu with wide eyes, shaking his head. What was wrong with him?
Ryusei could explain away how quiet Chifuyu had become in the span of those two weeks.
He could accept that something had gone wrong and that it wasn’t any of his business.
Hell, he could even understand the stupid dangerous decisions Chifuyu took because he seemed in a bad mindset.
But how was he supposed to brush off the sudden gain in technique and boldness? Chifuyu had just taken out thirty veteran adults in just a handful of minutes! This wasn’t normal. And Ryusei was certain that Chifuyu wouldn’t have been able to do that just shy of a month ago.
He didn’t have that cold-blooded metallic glint in his eyes either, a month ago.
Things were going in a direction Ryusei didn’t like at all. And he couldn’t even make sense of it.
This was simply unnatural.
“Oi Ryusei!”
They both turned to their friend who was running toward them. Baji stopped just one foot away from the both of them, taking in the sight of them, checking for injuries, before he turned his glare to Chifuyu.
“You. What did you do?”
Chifuyu pressed his lips together. It was as though he knew he had done something wrong… but that he was unwilling to admit it.
“I wasn’t going to let them beat me up,” he muttered.
“I understand that. But you were two minutes away from a hospital! You could have gone back to the safe zone; they wouldn’t have dared to jump you there.”
Says Baji, Ryusei thought, unimpressed, but he was willing not to point it out if it meant Baji was talking some sense into Chifuyu.
“You’re already injured. What if it had turned wrong?”
Chifuyu didn’t answer.
In the end, their conversation was interrupted by a low whistle. Ryusei took a glance behind Baji’s shoulder. In the long-haired boy’s back when another boy, a blond, walking slowly as he examined the mess, hands in his pockets.
“That’s impressive. You both did that?”
Ryusei didn’t know if he should tell them it was only Chifuyu, they probably saw it anyway depending on when they arrived in sight of their area. Ryusei kept his mind shut, taking in the newcomer.
This was Sano Manjiro, aka Mikey, he realized with a frown.
What was he doing here?
The commander of Toman was walking toward them, with a relaxed stance. His clothes were that of a civilian, clearly he hadn’t been planning on being involved in any delinquent shit in that particular day… So why?
Then it came back to Ryusei. That’s where Baji had been supposed to be. By Mikey’s side, telling him about the situation. Ryusei hadn’t thought he would still be there after all this time, but perhaps he should have expected it, since they were friends and friends liked to spend time together.
Rather than that, what truly caught Ryusei’s eyes were Mikey’s eyes. Their natural darkness, although as casual as it always was, held something calculating inside. Mikey raised his head from where he had been inspecting the down attackers and greeted Ryusei with a smile, before his eyes went to Chifuyu. They were unreadable. As for Chifuyu…
Chifuyu’s features had turned back to neutral, and his eyes had gone wide though emotionless. Ryusei couldn’t divine why he seemed frozen all of a sudden staring at the approaching commander.
“Yo,” Mikey said lightly. “You’ve made quite a mess, haven’t you?”
It was said in a teasing tone, but Chifuyu didn’t react to it at all. It was all Ryusei could do to chuckle awkwardly. Ryusei didn’t know Mikey very well. In other circumstances, he would be very happy to learn more about him and be his usual annoying self, probing at a new puzzle. But well, with Chifuyu in the… state, he was in, Ryusei was far too tense for that.
“You did a good job. That said…” he gave a sharp side glance in the direction of the hospital, and right on cue a siren began to ring in the distance. “…I don’t think the struggles went unheard. So let’s move from this place soon, alright? Before we get caught.”
“Right,” Ryusei nodded numbly.
But before Ryusei could drag Chifuyu back home and forbid him from ever leaving his apartment again, Mikey turned to the other blond, and with a warm inviting smile, added.
“Baji and Ryusei can bring my bike back home, as long as they’re careful with it. As for you… You look like you need a good breather. How about I accompany you to get some fresh air away from all that garbage?”
It wasn’t Ryusei who protested first, surprisingly.
“Oi, Mikey!” Baji started as angry as his tone was nervous, which showed just how shaken he too had been by the sight he was greeted with.
Baji, like Ryusei, knew how volatile Chifuyu was right now.
But Mikey interrupted him with just a gesture, and a sort of reassuring smile that had Baji falling back on his words, his uneasiness lightening visibly.
“It’s fine. I just want to talk to Chifuyu a bit,” he assured gently, and Ryusei didn’t expect it.
Ryusei had always either seen Mikey as the fearsome leader he embodied during the general meetings at Toman’s shrine, or as the eccentric chief he turned into during captain and vice-captain meetings when they weren’t too serious. This was an unexpected side of their commander. But Ryusei didn’t think a bit of kindness and gentleness was going to help in not spooking Chifuyu this time. The blue-green-eyed boy already seemed about to bolt.
But Mikey surprised him again.
“Look at this from this side. Baji, you’re big and strong, and you have the face that looks for trouble. Your former vice-commander is visibly tattooed. While Chifuyu and I both look small and unassuming. Who should leave the area and who is less at risk of getting caught here?” Mikey stared at them in the eyes, perfectly composed.
Ryusei had to admit he made quite a lot of sense… although reluctantly.
Baji ran a hand in his bangs with obvious irritation, letting out a groan before gesturing for Ryusei to follow him.
“You’re right. Chifuyu, remember your promise!”
Ryusei kept himself where he stood as Mikey exhorted Chifuyu to follow him in the opposite direction, uncertain still at the idea of leaving his friend with this… virtual stranger, if he thought well about it. But Mikey was Baji’s friend, and if Baji trusted him, Ryusei should too. No matter how stiffly Chifuyu was walking.
He navigated away from the pile of bodies once he couldn’t see them but as stick figures in the distance, answering Baji’s impatient calls at last. Except, as he joined the older, his foot knocked against something hard on the ground. He stared down, taken aback when he found a familiar label-less black film tape on the ground, at his feet. He bent to the ground to take a hold of it, examining it carefully. It wasn’t quite black. There were some strange, crusted stains on it.
“Isn’t that Chifuyu’s?”
He looked back in the direction in which the boy had disappeared with Mikey. It was too late now, he and Baji had to move.
“I’ll give it back to him later,” he muttered to himself, carefully putting it away in his clothes not to be lost.
“Come on, Ryusei! We don’t have all day! The cops are almost here!”
“Yeah, I’m coming!”
“No one know where Mikey is now.”
“Mikey… he’s dead. Just stop.”
“This is the last favor I will be doing you in a while… But Mikey. You have to know there is no way to fix it anymore.”
“What do you know about it!”
“…I know enough.”
“Any last words? Chifuyu.”
“One of these days, you’re going to kill yourself off. I don’t want to see you in any of our fights until you get yourself back together.”
“Chifuyu. It’s Mikey, he… Emma… Emma, she’s…”
“Draken was arrested!”
“But then… Mikey will…!
“Baji wouldn’t have wanted that for you.”
…
…
‘Baji-san… he wouldn’t have wanted this for you either.”
It was all too much.
Yet, Chifuyu kept on walking, side by side with a person he cared for and hated so much all at once.
He didn’t know where he was, nor when he was. It was all wrong. This person shouldn’t be here. Where was Baji? Ryusei? Someone? Help.
Villains weren’t born. They were made. This was something that Chifuyu would know. It was hard earned knowledge that he acquired from years watching Mikey’s back growing smaller, and smaller, as he faded always further away until he completely faded out of existence. And thus no matter the timeline. But, more specifically, he remembered a timeline, his timeline, in which there was no one but Mikey to look at after Baji’s death, in a world where Takemichi was more of a ghost than an actual character in their story, where Mikey sought Chifuyu out more than one time in search of Baji’s advice, where they were separated by this ghost burning under each other skin and brought together all at once, tentatively, by that person which they wished to connect to.
In that world, Mikey had been a heroic figure, ridden by guilt and grief, as well as anger, a dangerously sad and emptying fury that no one could control but those he loved most. In that world, Mikey had tried to keep them all together, including Chifuyu, and keep them all alive, including Chifuyu, and not chase the past too obviously in the people around him… including Chifuyu. Mikey somehow became a shadow in Chifuyu’s vision at all times, and yet was so absent that Chifuyu couldn’t help but think it was all an illusion, the illusion that he was still standing.
But then, the dead kept piling up at their feet, and Chifuyu lost sight of Mikey, even though it was looking. Because it was all that Baji had asked him to do. Take care of Toman. Look after them. After his treasure. And Chifuyu, in that strong back, had seen such a withdrawn treasure, a back that seemed so lonely it was as though ghosts dragged themselves at his shadow, slowing him down every step of the way… Until the ghosts drove him away, and he followed them, or ignored them, Chifuyu could not tell anymore, and he had watched that back crumble under the sacrifices at his feet, and he had decided he would never be like that person. He could not give up. Chifuyu would stand strong, always, he could not afford to fall on one knee. He would remain standing, no matter what.
But by then, it had no more importance. Because Chifuyu had already failed, the moment Mikey’s footsteps faded away in the distance. In a way, Chifuyu’s will had never mattered. It was always Mikey’s, which had failed and fallen down, in pieces, condemning Chifuyu to a lifetime of redemption.
And Chifuyu cared for Mikey still, could not help but care… yet he resented him for that.
He resented Mikey with a strength he didn’t know was in him, but it was a desperate, grieving strength, one that led him nowhere, one that didn’t add to his drive to survive and return Toman to what it once was, if it was ever possible in the first place. No, Mikey was the ghost that dragged him down, the one person that he had to save but had refused to be saved, denying in the same breath Chifuyu’s last promise to Baji, his last reason to live. Oh, how Chifuyu had resented Mikey for this.
And then, there was another timeline. In which Mikey had been the exact same. A strong, crumbling back walking away so slowly that they almost didn’t notice until it was too late to stop it. And then, Takemichi had dragged Chifuyu back behind Mikey’s footsteps echoing still in the distance. And when Chifuyu finally caught up to him, like he should, finally, Takemichi was dead, at Mikey’s hands…
And Mikey was free.
Was he free of the dark impulses and the deaths that had haunted him forever? Chifuyu would never know, had not stayed long enough to know. Or perhaps not close enough, rather. But he had been free of Takemichi’s endless attempts to bring him salvation, perhaps instead worsening the curse on his shoulders, and free of Chifuyu’s endless struggle to accomplish Baji Keisuke’s last will by protecting them, him, as the treasure they had once been.
If Mikey had asked Chifuyu to die then, Chifuyu might have done it, now free of the chain he had been holding onto. But most likely, Chifuyu would have kept close, without any true goal to that action, because they were the only ones left. There were others too, with them, who could understand. Who finally understood the weight of a life after so much time. Who finally felt so empty that they might as well have been dead, so truly what was the difference? They could be dead or alive, at this stage they had been no point in either. Chifuyu was only ever able to catch up too late. Just like Mitsuya, Mikey, Wakasa, so many others who were left behind just like them. And Chifuyu would stay with them, if only to remind them that they weren’t alone. But at the same time… he didn’t think he could bear to see their faces, a reminder of what they once had and what they could have had, a reflection of his own empty despaired eyes in the mirror… in that puddle of rain formed on the ground at his feet. He would, because while he might be free, that was what he had been doing for years.
And where else would he go?
There was no point either way.
…But today, Mikey in front of him was neither the one who disappeared, nor the one left behind alongside Chifuyu. They were at the start of the boulevard where they would lose so many others along the way, and Chifuyu looked in his kind eyes that he had almost forgotten were it not for the tears those same eyes cried the day their owner held the dead body empaled on a long Japanese saber like a uncomprehending child.
Chifuyu saw ghosts, in those eyes.
And Chifuyu knew, still, that he cared for that ghost more than he ever hated him.
It was his own, personal curse.
“Are you alright?
…Chifuyu.”
Notes:
:D
How cruel am I!
I interrupted it like that!
Comment please.Mikey inspires me so much. He's so sad and cool and gentle, I love him, it's not quite his fault. But that's how fate works. The world collapses, and it's never quite their fault.
Chapter 20: Y: It's a promise to Baji Keisuke.
Summary:
Mikey tries to understand Chifuyu.
What he understood is that whatever was eating away at him, there wasn't much time left before it would be too late.
Baji is full of fears. They only keep piling up, and he doesn't understand.
Notes:
I was right to cut this chapter in half with the previous one :D
Good reading! Enjoy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Are you alright, Chifuyu?”
Mikey only asked once he was certain they were far enough. With that much distance between them and the crime scene, hopefully they wouldn’t be interrogated. It would be difficult then to avoid questions with the state of Chifuyu’s fists.
With that first issue tackled, he had turned to Chifuyu to see if the boy was making better. He frowned, seeing the wide lost look he was receiving in response.
It was almost as though Chifuyu hadn’t heard him. He was staring straight into his eyes, but also, right through him, as though he had seen a ghost. Mikey didn’t know if one could still call that a daze.
“Hey, Chifuyu. Can you hear me?”
Chifuyu swallowed and nodded, blinking in rapid succession but unable to tear his eyes away from Mikey’s own.
“A-ah,” he acquiesced, with a small quiver to his voice. “Hello,” he added belatedly.
Mikey didn’t try to hide his worry even as he smiled.
“Hello to you too. You look like you had it rough.”
Chifuyu blinked. Once again, he reacted far too late.
“No, they… were only over thirty. It’s… just been a while, since the last time I did that.”
“I see.”
Now, Chifuyu was looking at anything but Mikey. He was nervous, the older boy could tell. It was strange to see. The last few times Mikey had seen Chifuyu, he had noticed Baji’s new friend had been for the most part silent, but also quietly confident. His eyes had always been sharp, stable and focused. The perfect opposite from now. Baji was right, Mikey could see something was clearly wrong even though he didn’t know Chifuyu well at all.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Chifuyu didn’t answer. His lips were pressed together, until he opened them to take a sharp breath. Mikey watched, with attention, as Chifuyu breathed through whatever was troubling him still… he didn’t relax at all, if anything he only got tenser. But then, he seemed to be doing better, to Mikey’s surprise. He raised his eyes to meet Mikey’s again, and this time they were stable again…
But they were hollow, with a different sharpness in them.
“I’m sorry for having troubled you.”
Mikey shook his head and waved it off.
“It’s nothing,” he laughed. “Actually, I realized we never talked much in the past. Let’s have a little chat while we walk?”
With a tilt of his head, Mikey invited Chifuyu to follow him. Chifuyu did, without a sound. It made Mikey curious, how he could hardly hear the other’s footsteps.
“When did you join again?”
“In April 2004.”
“And we’re in November 2004 now, aren’t we?” Mikey remarked, only mildly confused that Chifuyu had precised the date like that. “It’s already been a while, huh?”
“…It has.”
“You’re not very talkative, are you?”
“…I’m sorry.”
Mikey brushed it off again.
“It’s fine. I’m just asking. I just didn’t remember you being this hesitant the last time we spoke.”
Chifuyu flinched.
Mikey narrowed his eyes at the reaction.
So Chifuyu was also very much aware of how he was acting, it seemed. Interesting.
Time to change the topic.
“So, why did these guys from earlier attack you and Ryusei? You don’t look like the kind of guy who gets in trouble on purpose.”
Strangely, that one sentence tore a short-lived smile from Chifuyu’s lips, as though it made him think about something funny.
“I strangled one of them to unconsciousness. They didn’t like it, so they came back.”
Mikey titled his head.
“Why would you do it?”
“They were hired into a larger group to protect their goods. Which were firearms. So, illegal business, I guess. I trashed their hideout.”
Oh. Baji had told Mikey about that. His eyes trailed down to Chifuyu’s arm in the cast. Right. He had said that Chifuyu had been shot. Just thinking about it, it made Mikey mad… One of those assholes had dared hurt one of his own, who did they think they were? But Baji had also said Chifuyu wouldn’t have done it without a good reason. Mikey couldn’t tell himself, but he would trust Baji on it.
“So what was the reason?” he insisted. “Did you trash them because they shot you, or did it come after?”
“…It’s complicated.”
So there was a reason. But he was unwilling to admit it. Even to Baji, apparently.
“Was it worth it, then?” Mikey gestured at Chifuyu’s wounded state, feeling curious, but really just prodding the boy in front of him for clues.
Chifuyu’s eyes were on him again, roaming around his body as though he was seeing a ghost once more. All of a sudden, they seemed all too aware, it made Mikey feel…see-through. Like his ribs were exposed.
“I don’t know yet,” Chifuyu said, and there was life in his voice this time. “But no matter whether it is worthy… I don’t regret it.”
Mikey’s eyes widened even so slightly.
There, was that determination he remembered. Yet, mixed to it was a clear gleam of caution… a driving fear. Chifuyu’s eyes then narrowed.
“Mikey… What are you doing here?”
Mikey searched for the souls in the windows, finally clear from the fog and the opacity of its glass.
He turned, to face Chifuyu fully.
“Chifuyu,” he said. “I’m not your enemy.”
Chifuyu’s eyes widened. But soon enough, his expression was blank again.
“I never thought you were.”
Mikey ignored his words.
“I came here because Baji wanted my help. Say, you’re Baji’s, aren’t you?”
Chifuyu nodded, without a hesitation, even if there was a shadow on his features.
“Good. Then it means you’re mine too. So I guess I should tell you… but all your sufferings are mine as well. And that, that makes us friends. I’m here, because my friends needed help. Is it enough of an answer for you?”
Chifuyu didn’t answer. His eyes, while still clear, were lost in the vague now, without a hint of his true thoughts in his expression nor any sign that he had even heard Mikey. But Mikey had faith that his words had reached the others.
At least, it was the feeling he got. He smiled.
“Wouldn’t you do a lot for your friends as well? Like Baji, for example.”
Chifuyu tensed, his fist briefly clenching before apparently relaxing. He looked up, back in Mikey’s eyes.
“Yeah,” quiet but confident.
“Yeah? Say, you like Baji a lot, don’t you? What do you like about him?”
Chifuyu was taken aback.
“What do I… like? About Baji-san?”
“Yeah,” Mikey nodded patiently, openly. “It’s obvious that you respect him a lot, even though you didn’t meet him through Toman. So what was it that made you respect him so much?”
Chifuyu seemed to ponder over the inquiry, silently. His lips pressed together, a thin wobbly line, as he stared down at the ground once again. It seemed to Mikey that he was more expressive than ever, and the blue had overtaken the green in his eyes in a way that made it look like the clear water of a coral reef. So full yet pure. Almost innocent…
But not quite.
“I respect him… because he’s impressive,” Chifuyu ended up revealing, almost inaudibly.
Mikey listened closely to hear the sounds coming from behind his lips. Just a murmur, one that seemed to mean a lot.
“Everything about him is impressive… His determination, his strength. His kindness,” Chifuyu had to breathe sharply at that word. “His love for his friends and for his family. His sense of guilt too,” he added, and Mikey had to stop himself from flinching away in surprise. “His stupidity is very impressive as well. His selfishness, his selflessness… and his cruelty. Everything…”
Chifuyu pressed a hand to his heart, slowly, grasping at the fabric above his chest as though it was hurting him.
“It’s so awful… But it’s what makes me love him so much. Of course I would do anything for Baji-san… but he would never ask.”
He quirked a humorless smile.
“That, too, is impressive, I think. Even if I hate it.”
Mikey took in the sight of the younger man, who almost seemed to have forgotten his presence, with rapt attention. He didn’t know what it was exactly, but there was something in those words that hinted at something bigger.
“You know,” and he was surprised, that Chifuyu took the initiative to speak to Mikey this time, still with that small pained smile. “If Baji weren’t impressive anymore… If he died. Or if he grew to be the worst person in the world… I would still admire him and love him, and I would do anything for him still. No matter what.”
He grinned.
“I’m stupid, aren’t I?”
Just looking at him, for some reason, Mikey felt pained too. He shook his head.
“No, you’re not,” he denied solemnly. “It’s not stupid at all.”
“But it is. And I’m very stupid. Because I’d rather be bad than selfless. And I know I’m hurting him, and Ryusei, right now. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? It’s because Baji-san’s worried. I’m making him worried, like an asshole. And I can’t even promise that it’s going to get better. All I can say is, I am going to see this through.”
But what is ‘this’? Mikey frowned.
“You have to understand, that even though I’m hurting them… I’m doing this for a friend, too. And I’ll do anything.”
Chifuyu walked past him, stopping in his back as he went on.
“I know you are not my enemy. And I know… I’m not doing much better than Baji-san right now. I’m being selfish too, because I don’t want them to know. I don’t like this version of myself a lot. But no matter what… I need to figure it out, even if I got to disobey an order. I’ll finish this, and then…And then…”
Mikey heard a sigh.
“Commander. Would you be willing to keep a secret for me? For now.”
He blinked, concerned at the solemn tone. He turned halfway, staring at the lonely boy’s back.
“Say it.”
Chifuyu turned as well, and there was another smile on his sad features. It was small, yet it shone through.
“I don’t want to die,” he said.
Mikey froze.
And Chifuyu walked away.
By the time the older had regain his wits, Chifuyu had put his hand in his pocket, walking in another direction.
“Hey! Where are you going!”
“Don’t worry about me. I can go home on my own.”
“Baji asked me to-”
Chifuyu waved.
“It’s fine, I’ll check in with him. I’ll do this on my own… but he made me swear. It’s a promise to Baji Keisuke. I always keep those.”
And this had no right to sound so sad.
But Mikey let him go. It wasn’t his role to keep Chifuyu close. Chifuyu had confided quite enough in him already… if not nearly enough. Mikey could see it. Even when he waved, at the end, looking so relaxed… his hand was shaking.
So Chifuyu was doing all of this for a friend… It even sounded like Baji himself was involved.
Chifuyu was like a lost, desperate child. A very hurt child, who didn’t trust the warmth of a shoulder to lean on.
I think… I understand you. Matsuno Chifuyu.
Mikey turned, walking away.
He had gotten what he had come for, after all.
As for whatever Chifuyu was going through right now… as his new self-proclaimed friend, Mikey could only hope that he wouldn’t lose himself on the way back.
Keisuke hadn’t believed his eyes when he saw it.
He remembered, four months in the past, it had been May. Keisuke remembered Ryusei disappearing longer than he used to… Then Chifuyu left too. And it hadn’t been too worrying at first. It had been the opportunity for Chifuyu to make his own opinion. Truly, while Keisuke had been trying to convince himself that it wasn’t any of his business, he was also slightly curious about what Chifuyu would say about it. Chifuyu had something in his heart that Keisuke hadn’t known how to preserve for himself, a care that was bright and blunt, and it wasn’t afraid to hurt first to save after.
But then, one of those boys that always ran after Chifuyu came to him, in tears, with a speech that could only be half-deciphered, and terrible dread had knotted Keisuke’s stomach. He’d left in a hurry, unknowing of what he would find there, fearfully thinking that the worst scenario would be a knocked out body somewhere in the bad corners. But it had been a hopeful thought.
What he had been greeted with was the sight of two boys tied to chairs, bloodied and surrounded by the worst crowd Keisuke had ever seen. A crowd he had once seen throw knifes in the limbs of their own members, a crowd so vicious that he had been terrified, for one horrible moment, terrified for Chifuyu and Ryusei’s lives, terrified that they would die there because of a stupid teenager with a stupidly twisted mind.
He had exploded, then.
May was four months ago already. Since then, not long after, Chifuyu had almost taken a knife as well just a few weeks later, scaring Keisuke so much. He hadn’t been aware it would be so scary, to befriend others, people he needed to protect but most often was unable to. He wondered, sometimes, if it was how his mother felt every time he came back home injured in some way. Was this why she called him Chifuyu’s big brother? This was so stupid. Keisuke didn’t want that. It made his heart jump hard in his chest. It made it clench painfully, his imagination run far and wild, it made the panic grow and bubble up to the surface. It was awful.
May was four months past. But Keisuke felt in May again. Four months ago was now, November became May, and Chifuyu and Ryusei were in danger. And it wasn’t just a crowd of angry bloodthirsty teenagers. It was a crowd of bloodthirsty adults. And Keisuke wasn’t there. They said fear paralyzed people. Keisuke was glad it only paralyzed his lungs in his case. The fear to lose more people, however irrational it was at times, made him bolt as fast as lightning. It made him move.
So, Keisuke moved, as fast as he could, from the back of Mikey’s CB25OT. All he could see where images of Ryusei beat up black and blue, Chifuyu bleeding away fast, for fuck’s sake Chifuyu was missing an able arm!
And then, they had arrived, and Keisuke had had trouble trusting his own eyes, not hearing anything over the overwhelming beat of his own heart. Chifuyu, held by the throat by a disgusting piece of shit, the last standing. Chifuyu, finishing the work and straightening, on a large pile of fallen bodies where he was the only one still standing. Ryusei in the distance, with his own three or four bodies at his feet, trailing the path from which he came, far away still from the main island of unconscious men.
He hadn’t believed his eyes. Had trouble believing his memories at this exact moment, as he was flashing through the wind once more on Mikey’s Babu, Ryusei’s arms tied around his back.
And why did it feel like something absolutely awful had just happened? Like something was lost… and Keisuke had only just realized it.
He gritted his teeth. I don’t understand!
He stopped the bike as soon as they arrived back at Mikey’s place. Immediately hopping off, followed by his vice-captain, he turned to Ryusei.
“What happened? Tell me every detail.”
So Ryusei told him. He told him how they made their way to the hospital. That, once inside, they had Ryusei’s easygoing mother on call so as to pretend legal guardians were involved, and that they spewed a rather plausible lie with Ryusei’s mother to back it up at the last minute and that it went well, except that Chifuyu needed to have a surgery soon otherwise his arm would have difficulty healing.
Then, Ryusei explained what happened when they got out. As soon as they were out of sight of the hospital, they were ambushed an entire crew of vengeful… mercenaries?
“Why were they after you?”
“Remember the criminal org that we’re assuming he’s taken down? Turns out these guys were hired by them to help protect their headquarters until they could develop more, or something. They specifically wanted to get at Chifuyu for what he did to them, they were probably collateral damages in the mess. For a while we were just gaining some time for when you’d arrive, or turn back to the safe public areas… But Chifuyu just stepped forward, with only one functional arm, and provoked them into coming at him.”
This wasn’t like Chifuyu, at all. At least not what Keisuke had seen of him. Chifuyu was hot-tempered and didn’t hesitate to provoke people head-on for sure, often with a smile on his face as he did. But Chifuyu also knew how to evaluate his opponents well. He wouldn’t engage in a battle he knew lost from the start, now, would he?
Then again, Keisuke remembered what he saw. All of them down, except for the blond, like some kind of god of war.
Chifuyu also didn’t engage in battles he knew for certain he would win, he knew.
Which had this one been? Keisuke knew Chifuyu’s strengths and weaknesses, he was inclined to say it was the first option. But at the same time… Once more, Chifuyu’s face had lacked any expression that would usually show his appreciation of the challenge or a feeling of victory and satisfaction. Not even relief. When their eyes had met, they had been empty.
It had made Keisuke so afraid to lose him, and he didn’t even know why.
“Was he smiling when he provoked them?”
Ryusei frowned, shaking his head slowly.
“He wasn’t. He even sounded a little bored. Resigned too, a bit like… when you, you’re forced to start doing your homework, or something. Like it was a bother to focus on an obligation. I don’t know how to describe it. I just… I thought he went crazy. I thought…”
Ryusei’s words left him, like he couldn’t figure what he wanted to say, how to phrase it.
“Were they strong?”
To Keisuke’s dismay, Ryusei acquiesced.
“They were strong. They had more strength than us for sure, they were adults who’d finished growing, and who had far more experience than us in combat. Heck, they even made it their job, what could we have done? The three I’d got were strong on their own, I’m lucky more didn’t come my way or I wouldn’t have managed.”
Hell. If even Ryusei was saying that, then…
“Then how?”
Ryusei shook his head again. His hand found his forehead, running through his bangs with a sort of anxiety Keisuke had rarely seen on him.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t see it well at all. It’s like they were falling one after another, like flies you would tase or something. It just lasted a few minutes, then it was done. I don’t understand. You might’ve been able to do it, perhaps, but for Chifuyu to do this in just a couple of minutes, without weapon… Gods, these guys had knives.”
They fell into a dazed silence.
Ah. When things were put like that, it didn’t sound as surreal anymore when they said one single hooded blond boy took care of a group or armed criminals on his own. Keisuke would almost say it was monstruous, that skill that came from nowhere in a body it had no right to inhabit for what it could mean… But…
He remembered the hollow eyes that met his own scared gaze.
He remembered that flicker of fear in them.
Even then, as he was the only one left standing tall and proud, Keisuke could see it in Chifuyu: the vulnerable little cat that was scared of his outstretched hand.
His phone rang.
“Yeah,” he answered it after only a instant to gather his spirits. “Mikey?”
“Yo. About your friend. He went home, just so you know.”
“’Kay,” Keisuke drawled, before frowning. “Wait. What do you mean, he went home? Weren’t you accompanying him?”
There was a long-suffering sigh, one he didn’t think he’d hear Mikey huff of all people.
“That’s what I told him. But he’s stubborn, and a bit of a lone wolf, I’d say. By the way, I think you better be careful.”
Keisuke shared a glance with Ryusei, who was close enough to hear their commander’s voice.
“What about?
“I talked with him. Chifuyu’s really peculiar, if you want my opinion. Really independent, and really perceptive. He knows what he’s doing, perhaps a bit too well. But I think he needs his friends. So, just a friendly advice on my part…”
The words turned grave, making all Keisuke’s fears of the last week resurface like they had never faded.
“Don’t let go of that boy. You might need to push him a bit if you wanna get him to rely on you… But, heed this. In my opinion, you won’t have the luxury of time for long.”
Something knotted in Keisuke’s throat at those words.
What?
No they’d said they’d wait. And Chifuyu had promised that he just needed time.
“Mikey, what do you mean? Explain yourself.”
“He said, he’d check in with you. Talked about some kind of promise.”
“Mikey!”
“You too, you better check in once in a while. Ya gonna need some support with that one. Don’t let go of the rope, alright?”
“Oi, Mikey! Hey! Shit, he hung up.”
Keisuke almost threw his flip-phone in his rage. But was it really rage though?
No, Keisuke realized as he crossed guys with his friend, who seemed as alarmed as he was. It wasn’t anger. It was terror.
Urgency.
They didn’t have time, Mikey said. But time for what? To get Chifuyu to trust them again? What bullshit was that? Keisuke knew Chifuyu! Chifuyu would not leave… Why would he leave? They still didn’t know anything.
He hit the wall with a roar or frustration. Ryusei had started fiddling with something black, Keisuke didn’t have the mind to ask what.
Not let go of the rope, huh?
Just with these words, Keisuke felt like the rope was already slipping away from his fingers.
How ominous.
“Let’s go home.”
Notes:
The Chifuyu we all know is still here, shining through!
But which Chifuyu is speaking right now?Baji: Chifuyu would not engage in a battle lost from the start!
Also Chifuyu after Baji's death: let me use myself as a decoy so that my new captain can flee while I get beaten up by this violent crowd I can't possibly win again :D
Chapter 21: O: Who are you?
Summary:
Chifuyu tries to get himself back together. But it's more difficult than he imagined.
Ryusei is questioning everything... starting with Chifuyu.
Thankfully he still trusts him.
Also, the Cine-club's planning something?
Notes:
Transition chapter! Yeah! Onto next arc soon!
Chapter Text
Something fell to the ground, at his feet.
Strange.
Kakuchou bent to take the object. It was a bit wet to the touch, and not just because it fell in the snow. He looked around, searching for the owner of the tape, but there was no one around him. It was weird. Something like a tape could not simply fall down from the sky. Unless it was god sent? An amusing thought.
Kakuchou shook his head. Still, he decided to take a closer look at the foreign object in his hand. It was a bit warm, and slippery to the touch. Changing his grip, he saw a brownish water droplet trail down his finger. A mix of snow and whatever had been on the tape. His touch met something a bit rougher on the other side of the film tape. He turned it around, looking at slightly worn paper glued to its back.
“Huh…” He swiped at it carefully, not wanting to tear it away but not wanting the snow and the other substance to ebb away at the writing.
He frowned as he read.
“To… Tokyo Manji-kai?”
Strange.
Kakuchou was not part of the Toman. Actually, he didn’t know anyone from Toman.
But, well. There was nobody but him around. So… he might as well?
“Yo, boya. Been a short while since I’ve last seen you here. What is it, your new home?”
Chifuyu vaguely greeted the man of the suburb, too tired to spare him more than a thought. Thankfully, the people in that part of the town didn’t pry. They were grateful to him, they said. And it’s not like he had any money to steal on his person. He wasn’t stealing either. So he wasn’t a threat at all. Just the quiet new guy who used the abandoned theater around the corner.
Chifuyu liked being nondescript. It was a new like, honestly. But he liked it. He liked when he was neither Matsuno, right hand man of a top manager in Toman, nor Matsuno Chifuyu, the traitor, nor Chifuyu the fierce Toman member. Or even just the student that had problems with society.
Here, he was no one. And perhaps it was just as good. Chifuyu just wanted a rest. But it wasn’t yet time to rest.
Not yet, huh.
That thought hadn’t crossed his mind for two weeks. Enclosed in that timeless room, with Kisaki in front of him, giving pain upon pain upon pain… And Chifuyu just wanted to close his eyes.
He shivered at the memory.
He should have expected it. Chifuyu had seen it in other people. Torture did that to a brain. But Chifuyu had thought, since this brain wasn’t the same… Who was he kidding? Just by existing in this body, he gave it his own trauma. He had thought that, since he was going to die, it had no importance. That he could just let go, finally, even though he had somewhat failed, he had also won, and that was all that mattered. He thought, if anything, that his spirit would remain, haunting the torture room he died in. Or perhaps, it would float to Baji’s grave, and stay with him. Instead, his soul had gone back in time, dragged back up the flow of the river because of all their efforts, and his spirit was here, but his vision still flashed that room, his skin could still feel the pain, his ankle was still blowing up, his eyes were so hurt they were bleeding, there was electricity running down his spine, powerful zaps stunning him, he could still hear the sound of the gunshot, he could taste the blood, smell the metallic scent floating in the cold air. He could remember perfectly clear, that feeling of hopelessness, the one that says: am I really going to die like this? And he could feel it, still. Feel everything.
It hurt.
Chifuyu thought he was stronger than that. He didn’t understand. Rationally, he did, but he still couldn’t make sense of himself.
His stomach was churning.
Was it because of his conversation with Mikey?
Chifuyu was a whole person, he knew that. But all the realities he had in his head suddenly mixed up, and he felt like he was more than one person, that he was pieces of a complete things, unable to clip together like they should. And Mikey in front of him- he didn’t know who that was. Which. And it was all at once. It was the chaos. And Chifuyu had tried, to bury it all in, to keep it all under the surface. But then he had to choose. He needed a semblance of lucidity. He needed… to be someone definite.
He needed to be Matsuno Chifuyu, nearly twenty-six years old, accomplishing Baji’s will for years and never stop him, even if he died. The horrible, bad executive who killed hundreds of people, saved some too, but never losing his goal from sight. That was who he was, and who he wanted to stay as.
Except it wasn’t so easy. And as soon as he was gone, that little voice was back again, numbing in, telling him that he was done anyway, wasn’t he? Why keep on fighting? I’m tired, I failed, I have nothing left, they’re all going to die anyway, so what’s the point?
Just do what you have to do.
Chifuyu remembered the brilliant mind of a dirtied man who clung to his will to live. He wanted to remember. But those last few hours in that man’s life, and those sixteen years old boy at the back of his mind who had lost all his friends in an almost meaningless fight, they were both coming at him, ebbing away at his resolve and his memory, even though all he wanted was…
All he wanted was…
What did he want, again?
“I don’t want to die.”
Huh, Chifuyu couldn’t remember. But Chifuyu didn’t want to forget.
Right. He was the sole keeper of those memories. Nothing would be left. He couldn’t leave them alone.
Who’s them? Which is them?
Which is more important?
Is it even relevant anymore?
Chifuyu just wanted to rest. He was done fighting, but he couldn’t rest yet. Did that make sense?
Heh? But, didn’t Chifuyu want, more than anything, to save Baji Keisuke?
More than anything…
Chifuyu fell asleep on the cold, hard floor that reminded him so much of that room.
There was something important that he was forgetting. But he didn’t know what. Couldn’t remember anymore.
When he woke up, it was to the pale light shining through the cracks in the ceiling. His thoughts were clearer. Hadn’t he promised something to Baji and Ryusei? Oh! Right. He had called Ryusei earlier that night, almost on auto-pilot, except for the strange questions the other boy had asked, but he had forgotten to tell Baji.
Chifuyu took his phone and opened it, blinking as he saw the number of calls he had received whilst he was sleeping. He decided to call Ryusei again first. He did promise to give a sign of life every day.
It didn’t go through, for some reason. So he tried Baji. There.
“You bastard! Where are you!”
Chifuyu smiled fleetingly at the familiar gruffness of his late friend.
“Hi. I’m sorry. I was sleeping.”
“Where!”
“I’ll be at school soon,” he said instead of answering. “I tried to tell Ryusei but… he didn’t answer,” he added with an interrogative tint to his statement, hoping Baji might know more.”
“Oh, that. Don’t mind him. He’s being stupid with the school’s cine-club. Sounds like he got roped in for some dumb reason. I’ll tell him you called.”
“Thanks,” Chifuyu smiled again, feeling warmer just from hearing his voice. “I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah. You gotta be there. Listen well, if you’re not at the fountain at midday, I will punch your face, you stupid pain in the ass.”
It had been so long…
“Okay.”
“Hmph!” Baji hung up.
Chifuyu chuckled tiredly. He checked the screen of his flip phone for the hour. It was a bit strange, having a flip-phone again. But it wasn’t like Chifuyu had made great use of the smartphone apart from communication purposes, so he wasn’t as destabilized as, say, Takemichi must have been once upon a timeline.
At any rate, he still had things he needed to do before going. First, he took his personal tape out of his left pocket. He needed to complete… well. He needed to record those memories somewhere, right?
Before they all disappeared alongside him.
It took him three hours after that, to notice that the other one was missing.
The night before.
Ryusei sat in his room, his hands trifling with the black dirty film tape that he had brought with him.
He couldn’t help but think. A lot. About Chifuyu.
Back when Chifuyu disappeared for an entire week, obviously the boy didn’t go back home to put down his things before coming to school where they met again. Yet, Chifuyu had nothing on him but his clothes and hoodie, as well as these two tapes.
He still remembered Chifuyu saying that he had been busy doing something. But this was the only thing he had had on his person at the time. It didn’t make much sense… but it meant that this tape, and most probably the other one too, were both linked to what had made Chifuyu so troubled during all this time.
No, Ryusei wasn’t going to meddle.
First of all, he had promised to hold his curiosity back and just be there for his friend. Second, Chifuyu himself had promised that he would explain everything in time. And Chifuyu kept his promises. He was an earnest one. If anything, the fight from noon was only further proof that Chifuyu was opening to them.
Of course, Ryusei was very displeased and confused with the turn that events had taken this day. However, it didn’t erase the fact that Chifuyu had almost not hesitated in showing Ryusei a side that he had been hiding carefully under blank expressions for the last couple of weeks. Ryusei wanted to count that as progress, and the proof that Chifuyu was in fact going to fulfill his promises to them. He had seen him in that vulnerable glint when the blond looked up at him, as though afraid Ryusei was going to deny him his friendship after what he witnessed.
Ryusei did have questions. He couldn’t begin to understand what happened. The more he observed, the more it seemed to him that Chifuyu wasn’t… Chifuyu.
He remembered the phone call he had with Chifuyu a few dozens of minutes ago.
“I’m glad you’re safe. I… it was a sight to behold, honestly.”
“I’m sorry to have made you worry. I promise I’m fine.”
“Yeah… Thanks for telling me.”
…
“Chifuyu?”
Fearfully.
“…What?”
Ryusei didn’t want to do this but…
“I’m sorry. It’s been eating at me for a while. Can I ask you a question?”
“You already are, don’t be stupid.”
“Mh… Then I’ll go ahead and say it. I know it’s been two weeks, and I’m a bit late. Heck, I might not even make sense right now. So you have to bear with me for an instant.”
“…?”
Wary.
“You…
Who are you?”
He had said that. He had.
Ryusei didn’t know whether he regretted it or not.
But he couldn’t deny that everything was so suspicious to him he had started to doubt who he really had in front of him.
Chifuyu’s whole personality had almost entirely changed from one hour to the next! And it had been Ryusei’s own fault for ignoring it while he should have confronted it instead. But Chifuyu’s mother’s words and driven him toward another path, a connection he hadn’t known of before, something he thought might explain everything.
But it wasn’t that! It couldn’t be just that!
Chifuyu, according to his mother, had never had friends before. Of course, he could have lied to her, hidden that old friend he’d been talking about from her, but all of this seemed particularly unlikely, especially since Chifuyu had refused to look at them in the eyes. He’d been refusing to even truly talk to his mother in weeks, only exchanging two words with her maximum or just leaving notes to her in their living room, as though he was afraid. But Chifuyu had never been afraid of going home with bruises or broken bones before. What was new?!
What changed?
Chifuyu changed.
And his ability to fight too. Ryusei was absolutely certain Chifuyu did not have that level of skill before. Or rather than his skill, what had been the most shocking had been his vision and his reactivity. The strength, the moves, it had all been there before. But all those things that depended of the mind, the brain, everything that made an opponent strong rather than powerful, it had all made a leap, as though they’d come from ahead of time.
The calculating glint in his eyes oftentimes now… Ryusei couldn’t explain it away just like he did at the beginning.
This was not the same person. Because Chifuyu never felt the need to calculate everything as though anything around him could hurt him and those he was close to. Chifuyu, in the past, had already been fully satisfied by simply following after Baji. But this Chifuyu was driven, and far too quiet. Of course, Ryusei was aware of how quiet Chifuyu could become around others, he had seen it from afar during a few general meetings with Toman, and it had struck him as somewhat strange because Chifuyu could not be called shy. But he never felt the need to be quiet around the two of them.
Things had changed. And Ryusei wasn’t entirely sure it was just the circumstances.
What? How? Why? Groggy in the morning, sick afterward, did the nap in the middle was some sort of heart crisis that they hadn’t noticed and had caused him to lose all his memories? No, that made no sense.
Yet again, nothing did.
And Ryusei was getting desperate.
He missed his Chifuyu.
“…”
Chifuyu breathed, unbalanced. Ryusei listened silently. He had half the mind to retract his question, say ‘sorry, forget what I said, I was being stupid,’ but Ryusei felt like he was going mad.
Ryusei wanted an answer.
A sign. Anything.
He didn’t care what, or why. Or even how.
All he wanted was a sign.
Anything to prove that his Chifuyu was still in there somewhere.
The one that hissed at him like a puffed up cat when he made a compliment or teased him. The one that denied his friendship in a playful game only the two of them knew how to play. The one that had created such a striking complicity between them, the one who saved him, who was difficult to read, but who also wore his expressions on his face because he wasn’t afraid of Ryusei, of Baji. The one that would grin widely and reassure them that everything was going to be fine… because they were just kids. The one that didn’t go blank every time he was in pain. The one who only looked grave when he felt sad, guilty, confused or worried. The one with those sparkling, fully blue eyes, who felt like home.
The one who…
Ah…
What was Ryusei doing?
Ryusei loved Chifuyu, no matter what. That wouldn’t change. Like a friend, like a brother…
And he wanted him back.
“I… I am Matsuno Chifuyu. I will swear to you… I am not lying.”
…
“…I promised that I would tell you everything… I still need time. But when the time comes…”
A broken breath. Ryusei wanted to cry, too. He didn’t even know why it felt like he lost something so important.
Perhaps because Chifuyu was answering so seriously, it felt like he too, could understand what Ryusei was saying.
Like it was real.
“When it does come… I’ll leave to you the right to judge…”
Please don’t admit it.
“…whether I am the real Matsuno Chifuyu… or not.”
It felt like his Chifuyu was lost for good because… perhaps because even Chifuyu himself admitted as such.
He chuckled. It was wet.
“Do you at least know?”
It was echoed on the other side of the line.
They made such a pair.
“I don’t. Bear with me? Just for a while longer…”
Even if it wasn’t his Chifuyu…
It didn’t help Ryusei’s feelings. This one, just like the other, made his heart clench with how much he wanted to protect him.
And yet, it still felt like he failed? Why?
Ryusei shook his head, and sighed.
“You better come back soon.”
“…Mh. Goodnight.”
“Wait, another thing- ! Ah…”
In the end, Ryusei couldn’t tell him about the tape. He remembered how tightly he had pressed it against himself during his sleep. How he would not let go of it.
This tape was important, wasn’t it?
But… Chifuyu promised.
“…I’ll just have to give it back to him tomorrow, huh?” Ryusei chuckled to himself before going to sleep.
Yet, Ryusei himself hadn’t expected the next day to be so hectic.
As soon as he joined their school, the tape right in his hands so as not to forget about it, he was jumped.
Not by delinquents, though.
No, it was something twice as annoying.
“Oi! Ryusei! You know about movies and tapes?!”
“Huh… Excuse me, what? Please, space-”
“You have to help us!”
“Of course, it’s Ryusei, he knows everything! He’s such a genius!”
“Let’s go man!”
“Wait! Where?”
Ugh. He forgot his phone in his bag. Hopefully that bullshit would be solved by midday and he would be able to give the film tape back to Chifuyu without any problem.
If only Baji wasn’t watching with his I-don’t-care face from afar. At least help me, man! I’m not disappearing on purpose this time!
“Let’s go, cine-club!”
“YEAH!”
Chapter 22: U: It's broken.
Summary:
Ryusei goes to the local cinema to help a few friends out. He really doesn't want to be there.
He has another strange, easily forgotten dream. But what ticks him off more is the fact that trouble seems to have found him in the end.
Baji is just chilling. But really, it turns out he should be damn worried.
Notes:
Pretty sure the title is scaring you all right now ;D
Enjoy ^^
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Haruchiyo really couldn’t care less about Toman now.
Haruchiyo had only followed Mikey in Toman because he made a promise to Shinichiro.
But no one could stop Mikey from trailing down the dark path… Then Haruchiyo would follow him there, even if he were the only one.
Haruchiyo knew for a fact that going back in time didn’t make everything better. The proof was in front of his eyes. Yet, he had resolved to do his utmost to go forward, with this leader and those circumstances. It was the best he could offer.
But then, Mikey died.
And it felt like all of Haruchiyo’s efforts were meaningless.
He looked back at the tape that had dropped in his hands the night before, his lips pinched together, and for the first time in a long time, Haruchiyo wanted to cry.
Perhaps because he was sober.
To the Tokyo Manji-kai, it said. So outdated.
But somehow, it made sense. If even Haruchiyo had failed, so pathetically… then of course, it would be those guys. He sighed heavily.
“Just a week ago, and I wouldn’t have cared about something like that,” he murmured to himself. “Just a week earlier. If it had come a week earlier then…”
Then Mikey would still be alive.
Then Mikey might still be saved.
Now it was too late.
And there was another Mikey, inside this, who’d asked him something else.
‘Please save us all.’
“Alright. I’ll do it.”
Recording, start.
“To the Tokyo Manji-kai…”
*
It was truly Ryusei’s own fault for walking around with a tape fully on display within his hands. It was only a matter of time before he attracted undesirable pairs of eyes.
Such as these guys’.
“Where are we even going?” he sighed heavily, dragged by the sleeve to a foreign destination.
“Didn’t we tell you already? To the local cinema! It’s closed today!”
Ryusei didn’t know where to start. Should he tell this group that they were far too enthusiastic? Why couldn’t they use the school’s cinema room? Why did they have to go to the local cinema?
And why when it was closed specifically?
“So?” is all he bothered voicing in the end.
“So hurry up!”
The joy of being happy-go-luckies. Unfortunately, it didn’t answer his question.
“I mean… Why do you need to go there? And why do you need me?”
“Look at this!”
Something was thrusted in front of his face. He adjusted the arm that had been thrown at him so that he could actually look at what it was. A tape?
“What’s this?” he questioned, unimpressed.
“It’s a two hours long movie that we recorded together all throughout the year! This is the work of our lives!”
“That might be going too far, buddy… Anyway, we’re really proud of it.”
“But the school doesn’t wanna archive it!”
“Or register it!”
“Or anything!”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
“And you think the public cinema will?”
The leader of the club tilted his head sheepishly.
“Well… No. But that’s why we’re going when it’s close!”
“Yeah! That way there’ll be no one to stop us!”
“Guys…” Ryusei pinched the bridge of his noise with exasperation. “I like you all, really, but I won’t help you to commit a crime.”
“…Actually my big sis works there.”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
“And?”
“And she gave me the key.”
Right. So there wouldn’t be any breaking and entering. But someone of the staff giving a bunch of teenagers the means to enter does not equal to allowing shit to happen. This was still a crime.
But Ryusei guessed he could see where this led. Hopefully this would be done in less than an hour, but he knew that hang-outs went on longer. Anyway.
“Ryusei? I figured since you had a tape with you, you’d want to play it too? Since the school doesn’t tolerate tapes that they didn’t provide themselves… What are they so afraid of? That there’s a malware inside?” The boy who spoke huffed.
Ryusei blinked.
“What? No! This- this is not mine. I don’t want to play it. My friend wouldn’t want that.”
“Oh. Is it one of your friends? And you aren’t curious?”
Ryusei hid the tape behind a pan of his jacket, uncharacteristically nervous under their focused staring.
“Ah ah… No. Well yes, but I’m nice. I don’t want to alienate my friend or something, they have a right to privacy.”
“…M’kay. You’re really super strong, Ryusei! I’d have succumbed to the temptation if I were you!”
Ryusei smiled nicely.
“At any rate, if I needed to watch it, I have a VHS at home, I don’t need to have a big screen and ear-killing sound for it to works.”
“Well. I guess you’re right. Still, help us!”
“Again, why do you even need help!”
“The guy who knows how to operate the things is sick today…”
“And you think I can do it?”
“Yeah! Ryusei’s a genius after all!”
Ryusei facepalmed. What had he gotten into?
In any case. They walked casually along the streets until they reached the cinema. It wasn’t particularly big, rather on the small side for one, but it was still impressive. It was about thirty minutes away from the school. Thirty minutes lost. Ryusei wished he had his phone to explain.
Oh, Chifuyu was going to panic, wasn’t he? Ryusei didn’t have the time to tell anyone that this apparently important tape was with him and not lost in the middle of nowhere.
“Are you sure I can’t leave? I have something I really need to do.”
“I promise it’ll be fast!”
Ryusei sighed. His sleeves were held hostages, and these guys were nice… he also really didn’t want to get in trouble for beating them to the ground. He had enough on his plate.
“Alright… Let’s get in!” one of the excitable girls from the group exclaimed, and all of them echoed her yell.
Except Ryusei, who quietly followed.
They entered through the staff door. Ryusei trailed behind, as the other middle schoolers did their utmost to navigate through the corridors, trying to find the right rooms. That in itself must have taken about ten minutes. Thankfully, that room wasn’t locked by another key, they managed to enter directly inside. From then, Ryusei couldn’t really say what was happening. Contrarily to popular belief, he didn’t actually know how to do everything, and had only the most basic knowledge about tapes and cinematic material… was it the right word?
“Come on, can’t you go faster?”
“I’m doing my best!”
“Well, do more! You know these shady guys also go around in here…”
Ryusei perked up, from where he’d been waiting behind them.
“Who?” he asked, curious.
One of his friends shook his head with a smile.
“Them… Don’t worry about it. They’re just a bunch of middle schoolers who prefer making rounds in here rather than going to school. The guard has obligation to let them in because their leader is the son of the cinema’s director.”
“The guard?”
“Yeah, there’s a security guard… but because of the problems caused by those guys, he’s almost never patrolling right. He’s always making sure they don’t get into trouble.”
“Huh… He should have notified his boss so that they could hire more.”
“You tell me. He’s a bit of a hot-blooded guy so still be careful if you see an adult walking around.”
Ryusei nodded, dubitative. This place was weird.
Was it even logical?
If there was a guard, how did they even get in here so easily? There was obviously something fishy in that story.
“Can I leave?”
“Oh, please! Stay a bit longer!”
The girl with the glasses proceeded to explain what they were trying to do, but all that Ryusei got out from the cinema slang was that at some point they were going to put their tape in one of the cinema rooms’ tape player which, in Ryusei’s opinion, wasn’t any good because how would the guard not hear them, and also didn’t they say that tape was two hour long?
He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I leave once you start your thing, okay?” he grumbled.
“Yeah!”
“Hey? I’m finished! We can go to the technician room now!”
“The technician room?”
“Let me explain…”
They began making their way over to another room. All the while, Ryusei wondered. What did a tape player from a cinema look like exactly? Was it giant? Probably not.
At any rate, what happened in the end was that Ryusei sat in one of the seats in the room while the rest of these cute idiots dealt with the player and how it worked, despite the fact that their friend who actually knew how to do that was sick and at home.
Ryusei… might have ended up falling asleep.
Ryusei remembered. When he had been fifteen, an unexpected old friend had called him.
It had been at the end of October, and he remembered it well because it was right in the middle of the night of the thirtieth. It had been… really peculiar. He didn’t even know how the other still had his number.
In any case, he could still remember the moment he picked up the phone, not knowing who was on the other side, and all he heard was someone breathing coolly in the cold air, outside, in a rather quiet place.
“Who is it?” he had asked, annoyed but also somewhat curious.
“…Ryusei…”
He wasn’t sure if it could be called a greeting… But the caller had spoken his name with dulled emotion, and something tired. It was so different, Ryusei almost hadn’t recognized the voice which had spoken. His eyes had widened, and he had smiled in nostalgia.
“Heh? Chifuyu, is that you?”
Chifuyu hadn’t answered.
“Wow! It’s been so long! I can’t believe I haven’t talked to you in… what? A good year, I think? I thought you’d erase my contact, or that you’d change your number, seriously.”
Chifuyu hadn’t say a word. It was as though he hadn’t even been breathing. Ryusei had frowned.
“Chifuyu? Why did you call? Did something happen?”
It had been silent for a bit longer. Then he had heard a small chuckle. It hadn’t been a very nice one, and it had even been highly unusual coming from that person.
“Nevermind… Forget I called,” was all Chifuyu had ended up saying.
Ryusei had had to exclaim before he could hang up.
“Wait! Wait.”
He had heard the sound of a sharp intake of air, then a breath being held. Chifuyu had still been here.
“Call me again, alright? Don’t go ghosting me now that you’ve contacted me again. Happy Halloween, Chifuyu.”
The line had gone silent. Ryusei had blinked, checking to make sure he had still been on call, which he had been. The almost unnatural silent had gone on for a moment, before he had caught the sound of a strong gust of wind despite de parasites. Then a small, very small sigh.
“…Happy Halloween…” it had been but a murmur, Ryusei almost hadn’t heard it. “It was nice to hear you again.”
Ryusei had wanted to say more, but he had felt like it wasn’t really the time.
“Don’t be a stranger, alright?” he had said in the end, not able to come up with anything else. “I’ll save your number-”
“Don’t.”
Chifuyu had cut him with an emotionless tone, unreadable. It had taken Ryusei aback. He hadn’t known how to react at all. Thankfully, he hadn’t needed to.
“You… are you doing well?”
“Huh? Well, yeah… I’ve been good. I think I’ll stay here a few more years honestly. Don’t miss me too much.”
“… That’s good, then. I’ll tell Baji, he’ll be happy to hear it.”
“Right… Say hi for me?”
“Will do. Ryusei?”
“Mh?”
“… I’m glad I was able to meet you.”
Ryusei hadn’t been able to respond. It was a bit absurd. He couldn’t make sense of it. It sounded like gratitude, but also like a goodbye. Strange.
Chifuyu had been gone the next moment.
Ryusei had honored his words, not registering the number which he had been called with. He could still remember that exchange years later, even if for the longest times he hadn’t thought much of it.
Now standing in front of Chuu, he couldn’t help but remember it. The memory flashed bits by bits and Chuu carefully held out a fragile piece of paper. Ryusei took it, just as delicately, and choked when he saw the name of the sender.
It was a letter.
“Why are you giving me that?”
“It’s addressed to your name,” Chuu answered.
They were inside his home. Some time had passed since they met up outside of Tokyo. Chuu was holding a few pieces of paper and a sort of handmade mange in one hand, keeping it close while Ryusei examined the one he had given him.
To Satou Ryusei,
From Matsuno Chifuyu.
“This…”
“It was sent one and half a month ago. You sure have some sense of timing,” Chuu added with a chuckle that sounded anything but genuine.
Ryusei wasn’t sure he wanted to open it. But when he raised his eyes to meet Chuu’s gaze, he realized he didn’t have much of a choice.
He feared what he would find inside.
No, he didn’t fear it.
He dreaded it.
But he opened it nonetheless. And what he found…
‘To Satou Ryusei,
If you received this letter, it must mean you worked hard to learn what happened to me or Baji-san. It doesn’t surprise me, you have always been a stubborn one when you put your mind to it.
To be perfectly honest with you, I wished you had simply forgotten about me. It would have been easier.
I wish I could greet you in person. Unfortunately, you reading these words has one clear signification that you must already have divined by now.
I, Matsuno Chifuyu, am…’
“Oi! What’re ya doing here, ya punks!”
Ryusei woke up with a start.
Keisuke sighed through his nose. Ryusei must have been gone for at least three to four hours now… That stupid guy. He left his bag on his desk. He was lucky Keisuke was a confidential person.
Considerate. Mh. At any rate.
Keisuke, even though he was a good guy, was absolutely not going to bring all that shit back to Ryusei’s home. Out of question. Which meant he would have to hunt his vice-captain at some point.
That was when he realized that Ryusei had left his phone inside his school bag. Like an absolute moron.
Of course. That was approximatively at that time that Keisuke received a call from an anonymous sender.
He picked up.
“What, who is it, fuck off.”
He was in a bad mood.
“Wow. How rude.”
His eyebrow ticked. Turned out the person who was the cause of his bad mood had shown up.
“Ryusei, you bastard! Whose phone are you calling me with?”
“Yeah, you could say that. Or~ you could also say, ‘hello, how are you? I’m so sad to have abandoned you when you needed help, by the way did you eat today, I was a bit worried about you.’ That would’ve been nicer, don’t you think? Or I don’t know, what about-”
Keisuke stopped him there, very unwilling to listen to his bullshit right now.
“Okay, shut up for a second. Where the fuck are you, for real? Chifuyu called, like, three hours ago asking for you. I promised him we’d both meet him by midday. Have you any idea what time it is right now, imbecile?”
“Didn’t know you knew that word~”
“Ryusei,” Keisuke growled.
Fortunately, Ryusei seemed to have understood.
“Okay, yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Could you tell him not to worry? We’ll be fine. I’m at the cinema ten packs of buildings east from school, you know where it is? I was dragged there by the cine-club’s guys… I called because I didn’t want you to worry – well, you… I mean you or Chifuyu or any of the guys – I might be busy for a while. Thought I’d call to let you know. Be grateful I didn’t abandon you like you did me.”
Keisuke was about to say more, when he heard other voices through the phone.
It sounded… agitated.
“Ryusei? What the fuck’re you doing?” he questioned suspiciously.
“Well… There was a bit of an incident over here?”
“Oh no-! -ks l-ke it’s broken.”
“You! You’ll pay for that!”
Keisuke blinked twice. Confused.
“Huh, what’s- what’d you break?”
But the bastard had gone back to his over happy tone, with an expeditive few words.
“Sorry, sounds like I’ll be busy for a little while! Tell Chifuyu not to worry, I’ll be back soon! Bye~”
He hung up. Keisuke wondered if he should try to call him back. But Chifuyu made the decision for him.
“No seriously guys, what do you have calling me one after another!” he groaned as he picked up.
Chifuyu’s panicked state cut through his annoyance like a knife.
“Baji-san! I need to know, it’s important, did you see a tape yesterday at the hospital?”
Keisuke frowned, his bored attitude evaporating like snow to the sun.
“What?”
“It’s really important, please! Anything is fine, I just need to know!”
“Wow! Calm down!” Keisuke tried to appease the other boy who sounded on the verge of hyperventilation. “Let me think… Actually, I remember Ryusei picking something up yesterday. Now that you mention it…”
“Where’s it now! I need to have it back! Immediately- where’s Ryusei now, please!”
Keisuke did his best to focus on the task at hand, even though Chifuyu’s panic was only confusing him. Just now, Ryusei had said he was at the local cinema, hadn’t he? Perhaps he took it with him. There was no tape in his bag, Keisuke saw after fumbling its inside.
Wait.
“-it’s broken.”
Oh shit. Don’t tell me!
“Goddamn, what did that bastard do!”
“Baji-san! Baji-san what is it? Do you know something?!”
Baji cursed out loud, grabbing both bags as he started running. He had to sneak away from school right now, this apparently couldn’t wait.
Chifuyu was finally asking for help, after the last two weeks of hell, and Keisuke wasn’t about to let Ryusei ruin anything with his clumsiness and natural disaster like personality.
“Just wait for me, okay? I’ll be back with him soon!”
Baji hung up before Chifuyu could answer, jumping out of sight above the school’s barriers.
“Ryusei, you better not have done anything stupid!”
Notes:
Tell me what you think is broken >:D
Chapter 23: M: All of this because of a misunderstanding?
Summary:
Ryusei deals with the trouble in the cinema.
Baji comes to help.
It was a ridiculous story, but at the end of the day, all is well that ends well....
Or does it?
Notes:
Well, that was a short arc! And difficult to write, because it's not what really passionates me...
But here we are! Finally!
You'll get it when you read it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was a sad night for Seishu.
It was three years ago that he and Kokonoi were together, when a mysterious tape fell into Seishu’s hands.
It made no sense, at first. There wasn’t too much on the tape yet… but it was enough for them to understand what was happening.
As always, Kokonoi had turned to him, questioning.
“What are you going to do?”
Whad had Seishu been supposed to do?
He said he would think about it. He had noticed Kokonoi’s small relaxing at the words.
But then, the day after, he was torn away from Kokonoi, alone with his new leader. And he had hoped. He had never stopped hoping. Waiting.
Now, in 2009, Seishu had enough of waiting… he had stopped waiting for anything. He had settled, and he was grateful for Draken’s support. He was… he had regrets, that was certain, but perhaps he was at peace?
There was nothing more he could do. It was time to rest… and move on.
That was when he remembered the tape. A tape he had put aside three years ago, without doing anything about it.
He remembered the tape, and the requests of those that made it reach him.
He smiled, handling it carefully in his hands, delicately tracing the half erased letters of the label.
‘To the Tokyo Manji-kai.’
Seishu could only live for himself now… except there was this. This wasn’t about Seishu. This was about them all. And perhaps… it could change something, for another version of him.
He felt tired. Perhaps that meant it was time to get on with it, huh. If he didn’t do this now, he would never do anything. And that would be wasting the efforts of so many people.
There was only one place he could go for this.
It’s not like Kokonoi could stop him, anymore.
Ryusei simply didn’t know how they managed to get themselves in this situation. Probably because he had been sleeping at the time. Even though he could only remember the big details of his dreams – such as being invited in Chuu’s home in the future and reading a letter with refined language from Chifuyu, man why didn’t you text me seriously? – he knew it had been a strange one. It had been captivating enough, apparently, to stop him from waking up when the security guy came in.
No, he only woke up when the stupid punks he had been told about came in, bullied the first years from the cine-club, and that the stingy security guy had had to intervene again before it turned into a disaster.
Well, now Ryusei was awake. This was absolutely going to end in a disaster. For one reason, really.
“Where’s my tape?”
He glared at all the persons present in the room. It didn’t appear to have any effect on the newcomers, but the young boys who dragged him here visibly shivered.
“You can’t call a tape you stole from the cinema’s archives yours!” the guard – recognizable thanks to his clothes – scolded him as everything stopped around them.
Now that the new player was awake, better wait and see his next move, huh? That seemed to be the knowledge of all the kids there. Ryusei ran a hand through his bangs, starting to get irritated.
“I mean it, old man. It’s my tape, that I brought here with my own two hands. Admittedly, it’s my fault for falling asleep, but now I want it back. Where is it?”
Ryusei wasn’t joking.
No matter the consequences, he would destroy all of their faces if they refused to give it back.
“We- we have it!”
Ryusei blinked, snapping out of his slowly rising fury. He turned toward the young group from the cine-club.
“You do?” he repeated, dubitatively. “Why?”
The girl with glasses pointed toward the other group of kids – allegedly the punks.
“These guys… they thought they could take it and ours too! They think they can do whatever they want!”
“So- so we just protected it.”
Ryusei breathed out, somewhat reassured. Of course, the tape being separated from him wasn’t all that good a predicament, but it being in those kids’ hands was still better than it being stolen by spoiled rich kids.
He stood up.
“So they’re bothering us?” he raised an eyebrow, the leader of the cine-club’s first years nodded.
“Yeah…”
He sighed.
“At any rate, why did you have to do that thing today… couldn’t you wait for your friends, or better, your seniors?”
There was an awkward feeling passing through the group, as they huddled away from their opponents. Ryusei narrowed his eyes – there was definitely some kind of story here. He wouldn’t mind learning of it another day but…
Today, he was kind of pressed by time.
He turned the other side.
“So you really think those tapes are yours, huh?” he tilted his chin inquisitively. “Don’t your tapes have special labels are something? I don’t know… numbers? You can see these ones have none.”
The security guard pressed his lips together, agreeing to the idea but obviously still very suspicious as to their illicit presence in the cinema. But the delinquents in front of them had no qualms at all.
“Who cares? They entered our turfs, so they’re ours now! C’me on, don’t be stingy.”
Ryusei glared.
“You’re the one being stingy,” he murmured before addressing the first years. “Guys, where’s your movie? Take it back, let’s move out. You can always do that another day, alright? I’ll take care of those guys if they become troublesome.”
The troublemakers didn’t like being called troublesome. But Ryusei, without blinking away from the potential threats, ignored them in favor of asking again.
“By the way, what time is it?”
“It’s… eleven? Wait let me check… twelve less ten.”
Ryusei’s eyes widened.
“Are you kidding me?”
He extended a hand in his back, mildly irritated again.
“One of you give me his phone now. I need to call someone…
From that point on, he managed to call Baji – who was quite rude, Ryusei couldn’t figure out what he did wrong this time apart from being kidnapped by pre-teens. He grimaced when he learned Chifuyu had called him. Hopefully this situation would be solved soon…
But just as it seemed he might be able to appease the tensions in the cinema room, there was a mechanical sound.
“Oh no!”
Ryusei turned back to face one of the cine-club boys.
“It looks like it’s broken.”
…Okay. Are you kidding me now?
“You! You’ll pay for this!”
What did he say about appeasing the tensions again?
“Sorry, sounds like I’ll be busy for a little while!” he told Baji with horrifyingly false cheer. “Tell Chifuyu not to worry, I’ll be back soon! Bye~” he hung up before Baji could protest.
“Stop! Please! It was already broken! We didn’t do anything!”
“Can you take the tape out?”
“Uh… Doesn’t seem to go out…”
Ryusei took a long inspiration. He cracked his neck, taking a step forward.
“Okay… Then do something about it, alright? I’ll take care of the spoiled kids,” he added when it looked like the security guard couldn’t keep the delinquents under control.
“But, but!”
“Are you gonna be okay?”
Ryusei smirked. It was funny that they were worried about him.
“Please. Have you seen who you’re talking to?”
He used to be Toman’s first division’s vice-captain, after all. It wasn’t a handful of little punks who were going to cause him trouble.
“Alright! Come to me, miserable insects.”
He illustrated the insult with a charming smile.
“That bastard!”
Easy preys.
There were about twelve boys. They were all younger than him, three of them were well built. One of those three attacked first with two lambda guys, one of them held a baseball bat, because of course they were too weak and cowardly to come at him with only their fists. He made quick work of them. It was also easy to dodge and down the next four, who came stupidly one after another. The eighth had enough strength to challenge him, but he lacked the skill. Ryusei ended up pushing him back at his standing companions without exerting too much effort.
After that, it was a bit tougher, but Ryusei had already destroyed entire gangs with his sheer power. It was quite unremarkable for him to get rid of those boys one after another. The one last standing was their spoiled leader… who unexpectedly seemed to have something to prove. Nevermind, Ryusei would entertain him… for as long as the cine kids needed to get that tape out of the player.
Except it was never that easy.
They all heard a loud noise.
“What did you do THIS time!”
Keisuke ran the fastest he had run in quite some months. It was all Ryusei’s stupid fault. If only he had left that stupid thing in his bag like the rest of his forgotten belongings, Keisuke wouldn’t have felt any need to go and drag his ass back to the fountain.
If mild walking made the trip to the cinema half an hour long, it only took ten minutes for Keisuke to reach the stupid place. There was no doubt that whatever had been happening should have been solved by Ryusei in less time than that. However, when Keisuke arrived there, the cinema’s back entrance was surrounded by a bunch oh hostile looking punks. Either they were guarding the place, ambushing someone or just waiting for a signal to go in. The long-haired boy really couldn’t care less: they were blocking his way.
He took one by the collar and yelled.
“What the fuck is happening inside, you loser!”
“Who the hell are you!?”
The shits were absolutely not going to answer him, so Keisuke just took care of them. There was another problem, though… Once inside, Keisuke had absolutely no idea where to go. The inside was nowhere as loud as what he heard while he was on the phone with Ryusei.
He simply started opening all the doors. If it just so happened that he met more punks on his way, then that was their own fault for being there… and weak. But it did make him all the more irritated. Why was Ryusei even in there? Why did all his friends have this tendency to get into trouble every time they went somewhere?
And at any rate, he didn’t care about that.
“Look! I can fix it! Don’t call your boss, please, they’re just kids!”
“You’ve all vandalized our business! What do you expect me to do! You entered in there like robbers!”
“You’re all wrong! My sister is the apprentice of your boss! Please, I swear we don’t want any trouble, for the cinema nor for her!”
“…”
Keisuke groaned, running a hand into his hair. This sounded like quiet a complicated situation, he realized as he opened the door to this stupidity. Well, it didn’t really concern him so…
“Are you really gonna let them get away with that? I’m your boss’ son, you have to listen to m-”
They were just in his way.
Turned out, the cine kids had decided to undo the whole player to access their tape. Now they had retrieved both tapes, but, they also had a destroyed material in their hands…
Ryusei really didn’t want trouble with the police. How did he get involved in this?
Actually, isn’t this some kind of cliché background story? The main character is someone obsessed with whatever his passion is, but he had a very bad reputation and is avoided by all, the second main character who is a very enthusiastic person, learns about his sad backstory that started with a stupid idea to sneak into a cinema, but which went wrong and sent them all to prison instead. From then on, the protagonist fell in the dark side of life, even though he never stopped believing in his passion.
Yeah, that. Huh.
So, for the past few minutes, Ryusei had really been trying to appease everyone, but the offended side made it difficult. He thought he was going to have to fight again with the hot-tempered rich kid when…
“Are you really gonna let them get away with that? I’m your boss’ son, you have to listen to m-”
Ryusei really didn’t expect the annoying boy to fall on his front, nor did he expect to find his own boss behind him, one foot raised as though he had just kicked someone very hard… Which, he actually did.
“Baji!?”
From that perspective, Baji looked a bit like an overpowered cheat hero coming to save the game at the most miserable chapter of a shonen manga. Ryusei was really tired if he kept on coming up with those stupid scenarios. More importantly.
“Why are you here!”
Oh wow, Baji looked incredibly irritated. He drawled.
“Why am I here? Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here? Getting into all that shit!”
Okay, now Ryusei was annoyed.
“If I can remind you, I was not getting involved in all that shit, as you say, for fun! You could have helped me!”
“Excuses.”
“Baji!”
Before Baji could answer, Ryusei remembered something very important. He turned back to look at the security guard, who still had his phone on hand and his weapon pointed at Baji like it was going to do anything to the overpowered boy. Ryusei grimaced.
This whole situation was absurd.
“Alright, look. I already fixed a lot of problems with that kind of thing. The player is only dismantled, I can put it back together. It was already broken to begin with. Can we all forget this story if I do that?”
Baji blinked, confused. Ryusei hinted at him to just shut up for now. The silence spread on. All the first years waited with bated breaths as the security guard thought about it. He frowned, turning to one of the kids.
“You. You’re Suzuki-san’s little brother?”
“Y-yes! Please don’t fire her!”
For a few moments, the security guard seemed as though he had eaten a whole lemon. Eventually, he sighed long sufferingly.
“If it’s Suzuki-san… She told me she gave a key to her younger bro. Didn’t she tell you to check in with me before you went in? I can’t believe this is all a big misunderstanding. I seriously thought you were robbers.”
It was Ryusei’s turn to blink.
No. Seriously. What was this completely unexpected and absurd scenario? All of this because of a misunderstanding?
They didn’t need to sneak in in the first place?
There was a story in there.
…There might be one, but actually, Ryusei really didn’t care to learn it right now. Nor anytime really. If he could forget all of this the instant he got out, it wouldn’t be soon enough.
“So those tapes are really yours? Show them to me.”
“Uh… yeah,” the leader of the cine first years gave both tapes – which included Chifuyu’s – to the security guard, who inspected them carefully before he gave them back.
“Alright, I believe you. No trace of a label torn away, not where we put ours at least. I’ll take the troublesome brats with me and leave you some time to do your thing… as long as you do put this back up together,” he narrowed his eyes at Ryusei, who nodded with pinched lips to stop himself from saying something stupid. “Also… Suzuki-san will hear of this, kiddos.”
The child’s shoulders fell down, dejectedly.
“Yes… Sorry.”
The security guard turned to Baji.
“He’s with you?”
Ryusei immediately jumped in the defense of his captain.
“He is! He just hit your boss’ son because he thought we were in trouble. I’m really sorry for him, he’s not like that usually.”
Ryusei very strongly ignored the stink eye Baji was giving him. He really didn’t want to tell the older man that both of them were actually lead members of a notorious gang, and that Baji was like that every day. Thankfully, Baji didn’t say anything else. Just like that time when they were summoned in the principal’s office for their stunts at the start of the year, he let Ryusei take care of the explaining.
“Mh… Don’t do anything like this again. Next time I really will flash you.”
Ryusei nodded. With that, the security guard sighed once more – Ryusei finally realized how much this guy looked like a no-nonsense secondary character tired of all the bullshit in one of Chifuyu’s manga. Suddenly he felt a sort of compassion for the man who was currently getting the knocked-out kids out and ushering the rest of the punks outside.
“I’ll be checking on that player,” he hissed at them one last time. “Even if it was already broken and the room was on maintenance, it could still be considered an infraction.”
He left.
Ryusei sighed in relief.
“Ryusei…” one of the kids asked, still driving that stunning shock from the earlier events. “You really can fix it? You said you didn’t know a lot.”
“It’s no problem,” Ryusei answered, though it did annoy him to deal with all of this. “I fix my mom’s VHS all the time at home. This mustn’t be too complicated in comparison.”
Baji observed him as he approached the dismantled device and kneeled in front of it, already starting to inspect its pieces.
“You have five minutes. Chifuyu’s waiting for us.”
“Give me ten… Also, guys, give back my friend’s tape now.”
“So it really was with you,” Baji stated pensively as a black tape was handed back to Ryusei, who began to put the pieces of the player back together with precaution.
He frowned, still focused on his task.
“What do you mean? How do you know about it?”
That piece was used to read the tape, and it was supposed to be put together with that small part here…
“Chifuyu called me. He said it was really important to him and if I’d seen it. I told him I remembered you picking something up and well…”
Mh… This part was a bit different from what he was used to…
Huh. Ryusei focused on what Baji was telling him.
“So Chifuyu knows I have it?”
“Yeah. By the way, what’s on it?”
“How would I know?”
“You didn’t watch it?”
“Well no, duh.”
Baji raised his eyebrows. It was irritating Ryusei more.
“Do you think I’m such a bad friend?”
“Huh… No? Just thought you might do something like that. You didn’t seem to bother so much with privacy before.”
“Things changed, okay? Now let me work in silence.”
Baji kept quiet, only a glint of curiosity left in his eyes.
Ryusei focused on the player. It was fixed, as he predicted, in a bit more than ten minutes. He sighed when it was done, glad to finally have all his problems solved. He made sure it was still connected to what it should be connected to, that all the pieces were in place, nothing had slipped somewhere inaccessible… Perfect.
He called the first years over.
“Hey, guys! You can put your tape in it now!”
“But isn’t it broken anyway?”
“Yeah. But normally you can still play something on it. It’s just that you won’t be able to get the tape out until it’s done reading it.”
A dozen of faces suddenly brightened. Ryusei took a few steps away from the player, he couldn’t help but crack a smile after all these tiring happenings. They really were good kids, even though they did a lot of stupid things.
In any case, Ryusei had the tape back, and now was time to meet up with Chifuyu.
“Let’s go, Baji.”
Baji grunted, following.
“You sure you wanna leave them alone? Don’t know what kind of trouble might still happen to them.”
“Do you care?”
“No.”
Ryusei shrugged.
“They’ll be fine.”
Except that, as they had gone back to the watching room a door away and were about to leave through the normal entrance, something else happened.
The screen lit up with a few parasite noises in the background. It clearly wasn’t the work of an expert. It showed someone’s room, as well as the torso of someone putting the camera on a table. Ryusei turned to look at it, curious, just for an instant. Just as he was about to turn away just like Baji and leave, he heard the kids exclaim from the other room.
“Wait!”
“That’s… not our movie…?”
Notes:
A very cute and funny chapter, with a light and funny end for you, here you go!
....okay so maybe I'm lying a bit here?
Chapter 24: A: This makes sense.
Summary:
A tape is in the player.
Everyone must leave. But Ryusei and Baji are rooted to the ground.
A segment plays... and it's only the first.
It's already one of the worsts.
Notes:
Here you go!
Wow, I wrote that fast. Took me two hours and a half.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hajime didn't expect a tape to fall right on his head while he was hanging up with Akane and Seishu. It was a strange experience.
But upon learning what was on it, he was nothing but grateful, no matter how weird it was.
Grateful... regretful... Even though everything was to make. Everything was to change.
But the thought that, somewhere in the universe, there was a Seishu, an Inupi who lived in constant sadness, depression and doubt over his own existence, it hurt him.
And he knew it was his fault.
Even though now he could save them all.
Now that he knew, if he was presented with the choice once more... Who would he save?
“That’s… not our movie…?”
Ryusei’s blood turned to ice in his veins.
He whirled around, staring with dread at the screen who figured a tired black-haired man sitting in front of the camera. Bags under his grey eyes, pale tone of skin and a formal attire that looked as roughened as its owner.
He opened his mouth.
“I address this to the Tokyo Manji-kai.”
Fuck.
“What the fuck is that!” Baji exclaimed, clearly disturbed, but Ryusei ignored him.
He ran back to the monitoring room, where the first years still were, checking the tape in his own hand. It did lack the strange crusted dark stains, seemed to have lived less. Ryusei should have realized it earlier.
“You! Get that thing out, immediately!”
Because that thing was Chifuyu’s tape, goddammit!
The cine club group was stunned.
“But… You said we couldn’t do it…”
“Oh shit, that’s yours, I’m sorry…”
Ryusei pushed them away, looking the player over. When he noticed taking the tape out by force might damage it, he cursed. He turned back around to the boys and girls who looked like kicked puppies having done a mistake. He didn’t know what expression was on his face, but he had a feeling it wasn’t pretty.
“Get out of there, right now!”
“What? But-”
Ryusei thrusted their movie tape back into the unsuspecting hands, pulling them out and drawing them toward the exit.
“I don’t care, go take another room or something, this is private. Get the fuck out!”
Meanwhile the tape kept playing.
“My name is Tachibana Naoto,” he heard distractedly from one ear. “Some of you will recognize my name. Some of you will not. But you all know the man who left the first message on this film tape.”
Ryusei closed the door behind the children, ushering them out with an ounce of gentleness. He turned back to meet Baji’s eyes, but Baji wasn’t looking at him. His head was raised toward the giant screen, with wide eyes, and the scene had changed, now that Ryusei looked back at it.
It was…
“That’s not possible,” Baji mumbled.
Ryusei frowned.
“What is?”
“That can’t be Chifuyu’s tape.”
The scenes played on the screen. A younger Mikey appeared. There was a dojo. A grandpa and a young man with dark hair, as well as a naturally blond girl. Finally, Ryusei started recognizing a few of them.
“Wait. Isn’t that young blond kid Mikey?”
“Yeah,” Baji croaked in disbelief. “And right here, it’s Emma… There’s Shinichiro too,” his voice was but a murmur. “It’s the Sano family’s home video tape. It makes no sense. Why would Chifuyu have it?”
Before any of their questions could be pondered on more, the screen changed again. Now it showed a version of Mikey they could both recognize… Except he looked older. Just a bit older. He was sitting, in a silent room… Then he stared at the camera.
“To Takemichi, in 12 years.”
Ryusei blinked.
He had heard that name before-
“I’ve said plenty in my letter,” that Mikey went on, grimly, “But there’s something that I want to address only to you.”
Ryusei shook his head.
This made no sense. Ryusei wanted to make sense of it. It was addressed to them, but also to a guy named Takemichi…
It was Chifuyu’s tape. Ryusei had promised he wouldn’t watch it.
“Baji, let’s move. If we can’t remove it, we need to leave. This is p-”
But Baji pushed him away with an outburst.
“Like hell I’m gonna leave now! I need an explanation now!”
“Baji, don’t be stubborn! This is not ours to watch!”
“You leave, it’s none of your business.”
“You’ll betray Chifuyu’s trust!”
Baji whipped his head to look at him. His eyes were wide and dangerous, like those of a predator. But Ryusei didn’t back down. Once again though, the strange Mikey cut off their moral debate.
“When I can’t control myself, it is as if there is ‘another me’. A ‘dark impulsivity’.”
Baji blinked.
“What?”
“I said-”
“Not you, idiot!” Baji growled at Ryusei. “This shit means something to me, and I’m gonna watch it until I get what’s happening with this whole situation, so if you don’t want to, then leave!”
“I’m scared of who I’ll become in 12 years. I’m definitely not pleasant to be around with.”
“As for Chifuyu…” Baji gritted his teeth raising his head to watch the screen once more, even though his determined gaze held a glint of conflict in it, “If this is connected to the dumb shit he’s been doing lately, then I can’t look away.”
“Chifuyu promised he’d tell us later!”
“And what if he never does!”
Ryusei’s next words got caught in his throat, painful in the way only doubt and uncertainty could be.
Baji was right. Ryusei had thought about that. But…
“That’s why I bid farewell to all the Toman members.”
This time, it was the both of them who turned around in surprise.
“Mikey,” Baji started, searching for his words in obvious disbelief. “Mikey… did what now?”
Mikey had never done this. Also, Mikey hadn’t let his hair grow that much yet. This clearly…
“You get it, right? I don’t want you all to be involved with me.”
…hadn’t happened yet.
“What bullshit is this bastard spewing!” roared Baji.
This made no sense.
Until it did.
“Takemichi,” the older Mikey stared at the screen, tensely, “Promise me this. In 12 years, please stay away from me. Don’t go back to the past to save me, or something.”
Go back to the past.
“What?”
It was Baji again. They were both starting to understand something really important. This film tape… it didn’t come from here.
“Traveling in time… It’s supposed to be impossible.”
Mikey smirked, though a bit tiredly.
“To walk down this path is my own decision. Takemichi. We will not be meeting again. So let me tell you this for the last time.”
This Mikey was older. More tired, longer hair, duller eyes, and he was addressing someone neither Baji nor Ryusei knew at all. A person that could supposedly travel through time.
Ryusei felt something incredibly dreadful creep up in his core when he saw the bright and soft smile Mikey shot at the camera, before the segment was cut.
“Please live a happy life!”
Baji wasn’t saying anything anymore. Ryusei couldn’t begin to guess what must’ve been going on in his head. It probably wasn’t very ordered. It was probably a bit in chaos. A bit like what Ryusei was feeling… but worse.
Because Baji knew Mikey well.
“Is this really Mikey?”
Baji swallowed. Ryusei thought he wouldn’t answer, but he did.
“It is. That Mikey… he’s real. No one else is like that. I’d recognize him even if he had hair dyed white as long as his height, or if he was three feet tall. That was Mikey, but… Mikey wouldn’t do or say any of that today.”
Ryusei pondered on that.
The screen came back to life.
“You’re here again today.”
It was Mikey’s voice again, but he wasn’t in their field of vision. Instead, it looked like he was holding it. He was at a graveyard, one Ryusei recognized as the one in their neighborhood. As for the person the camera was pointed at…
Ryusei felt his heart beat faster.
“’Course I am. I knew you would be here,” a somber, more mature voice came out of the body Ryusei recognized as Chifuyu… older as well.
Sadder too. He was holding an umbrella… and his eyes were empty.
“How’s Mitsuya?”
“Hakkai’s with him,” Chifuyu bent in front of them, putting something – food? – on the ground. “Pah-chin is good too. Smiley, Angry… Inui and Kokonoi. I could go on, but I get the feeling that you don’t really care.”
His voice was ice cold. It could almost pass off as uncaring in their ears. But both Ryusei and Baji saw more.
This Chifuyu looked tired too.
Chifuyu finally seemed to notice the camera.
“That thing… Still?”
“…Yeah. I’m… just making a last round, I guess. Say hi.”
“Hi,” Chifuyu said, but his face was closed off, and with one hand in his pocket again, he turned back to Mikey with a hint of hostility in his features. “Mikey. I know you realize how many people died for you.” The camera flinched, Baji too, in surprise. “If you’re really thinking about leaving after everything they’ve done for you… I will urge you to reconsider.”
“…Will you stop me?”
Chifuyu closed his eyes.
“No. I don’t have any strength left for that.” He looked away into nothing… or most probably, toward the grave they were both visiting. “With this, you have been saved, there is no more to do for Toman… And I was relieved of all my vows. I have no rights to stop you. Just like you have no rights to throw all of this out of the window now. But, since you seem to think you won’t be around to see the next decade… I thought I might bring you this.”
Chifuyu fished something out of his pocket. It was a piece of paper, nicely wrapped. Chifuyu held it out for Mikey, looking down on him with something unreadable in his eyes. At least for them. To Mikey, it probably looked like Chifuyu was done with him.
Mikey took the paper.
“This is…!”
“Yeah. It’s his letter.”
There was the sound of paper being jostled. Mikey was reading it. Chifuyu watched him coldly, emotionlessly as he did. Then there was a small scream, as if pain. Pain from the soul.
Then cries.
“He always wanted you happy. He wanted everyone happy,” Chifuyu sighed, tearing himself away. “This is the last favor I will be doing you in a while… But Mikey. You have to know there is no way to fix it anymore.”
“What do you know about it!”
“…I know enough.” Chifuyu left. “I’ll be leaving now. I’ve my own rounds to finish. Say goodbye before you leave.”
The scene left Ryusei reeling as it ended.
Chifuyu was in there too.
And he looked… so sad. Grieving. Lonely. The light in his eyes was entirely extinguished. Even now, while Chifuyu had changed, his eyes weren’t that dead.
“I don’t get it.”
Ryusei glanced at Baji.
It must be very hard on him. It was hard on Ryusei, seeing his friend like that, without any explanations. But Baji… he knew both Mikey and Chifuyu. He was probably feeling even more lost than Ryusei.
More came.
“Hey. Mitsuya.”
“Oh… Mikey… I… No. Please leave.”
“Don’t worry. I’m just here to say goodbye.”
Mitsuya… was that even him? He looked miserable. Nothing like the Mitsuya Ryusei was accustomed to. Baji made a strangled noise next to him.
It was even worse when Mitsuya jumped Mikey, the camera went flying somewhere, they could only hear as Mitsuya tried to strangle Mikey.
“You! You are… the worst of them all. I can’t believe you! Don’t you have any respect!”
“Mitsu- Mitsuya-”
“No! You don’t understand! You- you are trampling on all of their feelings! It’s like you don’t care! You don’t care!”
“…I’m… sorry…”
The next one was Smiley.
It seemed to go as well as it could have.
Angry was next.
“What did Chifuyu say?” he questioned, as they both sat over tea.
“He… urged me not to.”
“I see. It makes sense. I want you to rethink to. Inui will tell you the same thing. Koko too.”
“I know.”
“Pah will punch you. Peh-yan too.”
“I know.”
“…You’re kinda cruel, you know. It makes me angry.”
“…I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry when you go visit their graves.”
It made no sense.
What was this… this future? This was their future.
It went on. Baji was shaking next to him. Was it disbelief? Fury, anger? Fear? Ryusei couldn’t even begin to untangle what was happening in his own mind.
They were talking about suicide weren’t they?
Finally.
“We are now in 2009. It’s been three years since my first message to you, Takemichi. I’ve finally taken my decision. This… can’t go on any longer.”
“No… What is this imbecile doing?” Ryusei had never heard Baji’s voice shake so much.
“Baji. This hasn’t happened yet.”
Baji opened his mouth to react, but no words passed through. It was almost as though, like Ryusei, he couldn’t quite process that particular piece of information yet.
“I was told once or twice not to say sorry… So I’ll only say thank you. Thank you for all you’ve done for me, Takemicchi.”
Finally, the screen changed back to the man named Tachibana Naoto.
He spoke again.
“Instead of dying, Sano Manjiro, the leader of the first generation of the Tokyo Manji-kai, time leaped to the year 2019, which is from where I am making this message. The timeline... is ruined. I, Tachibana Naoto, brother of Tachibana Hinata, friend of Hanagaki Takemichi, and acquainted with a great number of the Toman members still alive to this day, am calling for help, from the ninth timeline. Tokyo Manji, I bow in front of you, today.”
Naoto bowed.
“I need you help. Let me explain.”
That was how Ryusei and Baji learned about time travel.
They learned how a young man called Hanagaki Takemichi was able to travel from future to past, and past to future, thanks to a hand contact with the person with whom he shared the greatest regret. First, to save Tachibana Hinata. Second, to save Sano Manjiro.
Tachibana Naoto spoke of time travel like a science, instead of a magic, supernatural ability. It was terrifying, how these people believed in it. How long Naoto had researched the notion through that Takemichi and Mikey’s own experience of it, acknowledging Shinichiro – Shinichiro! – ‘s past experience too.
They learned about a curse, too. A curse that had befallen Mikey, that explained the ‘dark impulsivity’ he spoke about earlier.
Finally, they learned what this tape really was, and what it was for.
“I have reached the conclusion that through hand contact and regret, the time leaping power can be transferred from one person from another, through death. Shinichiro gave his power to Takemichi and died. It was not simply a coincidence, nor just the means of the curse. Then, Takemichi died handing over his power to Mikey. And Mikey… Mikey had nothing but this tape, which he almost personified, and as he died… it sufficed for the power to temporarily transmit to the tape. The tape brought his soul back to the future. It was already deeply connected to time, as a time capsule. It might only be an error from the universe…”
Ryusei laughed.
“That guy’s crazy. What the fuck. Just- what the fuck…”
“After looking into it, I realized that an inanimate object wasn’t supposed to hold this kind of power, wasn’t made to. Therefore, as soon as its influence deactivated, the time leaping ability was once again transferred to a human. Sano… Sano then transferred that ability to me, when I promised him I would save Takemichi, and all the others. Now… he’s dead.”
Baji flinched again.
Naoto stared at the camera with determination.
“Now I understand. A human can only leap through time. There is nothing to be done at a human scale to cross back the line between the timelines. But we have to go back to the very beginning. A timeline in which the curse isn’t present. And there is only one of those. A man cannot do this. But… an object could. There is no soul in the object. And as long as another soul is sacrificed as impulse… I believe it could reach anywhen.”
Naoto stood up, took a few steps back, and Ryusei finally noticed the gun in his hand.
“I, just like Mikey, need to sacrifice myself to make sure this tape reach you. It is not time travel that we are doing, but timeline leaping. Hopefully… No. It has to work. This is why I am asking your help, all of you from Toman. All of those who affected the timelines, who’s lives were changed enough through time to have come closer to the level of anomaly. I need you to, just like me, guide this film tape back to the starting point. I know it is a burden that none of you want to bear. But if this tape reached you, it means that we are all connected, through at least one goal.”
He brought the gun closer to his temple.
“We all have only one chance. The timelines are impenetrable. We need strong individuals, who have interacted with the time-leapers, to be able to go through. The same goes for the curse. It is omniscient, I think. Almost sentient, as it can wreck the life of a man so easily. Maybe this tape will be destroyed in the process. But with your help, the memories will go through. Unfortunately, as our own regrets are important keys in this quest, I just like you will, will only be able to send this to specific persons. Which means… it might be difficult to reach the right connectors. I’m sorry to ask you this. But all of you. Sano Manjiro, Ryuuguuji Ken, Kawata Souya, Inui Seishu, Matsuno Chifuyu, Sano Shinichiro, Kurokawa Izana, Mitsuya Takashi, Shiba Hakkai, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Sendou Atsushi, Kawaragi Senju, even Kisaki Tetta if need be… Lend me your help. Lend your memories to this tape. So that this tragedy may never be repeated.”
Ryusei could only watch, frozen, as the man smiled, desperately, pressed the cannon of the weapon to his head.
“We’ll meet again, Hanagaki Takemichi. May this film tape rewind time, to reach you.”
There was a loud sound. Ryusei saw blood. The segment cut.
It was silent for a small moment. Then Baji yelled.
“I don’t believe this!”
Ryusei startled at the sound. His brain started again. And suddenly this was all too much.
God, what had Chifuyu gotten involved into now? What was this? Time-leap, seriously? Timeline travel? What the heck was all of this? It made absolutely no sense, no matter how much this guy – who just died, of gods – wanted to turn it into a scientific ability. Utterly nonsensical. Chifuyu could not possibly believe in it.
Except…
Their memories? What? What memories?
Ryusei shook his head.
Before it started again, he went into the monitoring room, where the player was. He needed to get the tape out. Or at least, pause the reading.
In a way, he thought…
“This makes sense.”
Notes:
To make it clear, due to the connections, only specific persons can directly get all of their memories back from watching the tape.
Chapter 25: Y: Toman is simply a complex game of belonging.
Summary:
Keisuke doesn't believe it.
He is soon forced to.
Chapter Text
When Mitsuya bowed to Mikey in allegiance by Draken’s side, he hadn’t realized so much was at stake. Or maybe he did, who knew, nothing really changed for him upon learning the content of the strange video tape that appeared in his room the night right after. They were all going to give their necks to Mikey no matter what. Now, Mitsuya just happened to know that they were people out there just waiting for their hell to stop, throughout the totality of the timelines. People who knew that it wasn’t fated to end like that. That this was the worst future.
But this worse future was Mitsuya’s future. In this future, he would die alongside his comrades, for the sake of a man he had pledged his life to long ago, hoping that one day someone would come back to save this same man from his misery.
Mitsuya… he didn’t want to leave his sisters alone. Nor Yuzuha. Hakkai would probably follow him to the last second of life, huh. If anything, this tape… it put things into perspective.
In another world, Draken would die and Mitsuya would live.
But that was not this world.
In this world, Mitsuya had done the most he could. He regretted that they were all going to perish, he had wished for the youngers to leave like Takemichi, but those like Hakkai, Chifuyu and the Kawata twins, they were too loyal. Mitsuya wanted to protect them all. But he had a feeling that, from now on, nobody would be allowed to care for others’ fates. No one would be spared, and all of them knew it.
Still. If there was one chance that all of them could live happily together, in a word where the doom of death wasn’t so close to all of them, he would do his utmost.
They did call him Toman’s big brother, after all.
“This makes sense.”
It was all Keisuke heard before an abundance of images and information overwhelmed him.
A young blond boy, a ring, Draken, Mikey, schools, the shrine, Moebius, Valhalla and Hanma, Kisaki, Black Dragons, the Shiba, Izana and the Kings, Emma, abandoned stations, everything suddenly flashed in his head, in front of his eyes, bribes of noise, of the people he loved, some he didn’t know, a lot of feelings that didn’t belong to him, all of it was too much.
Then, it passed. And Keisuke was left grappling with what had just happened, trying to remember everything even though almost all of it had already left his mind.
Bits and pieces were all that were left. It was as though someone had put a life in a truck and had driven through Keisuke’s brain with it, only a few falling in his stupid abyss full of ten brain cells total.
He grunted in shock, grabbing his head like it was going to make it hurt less. He was surprised to find Ryusei in the same situation.
He remembered… He remembered Draken and Mikey, as well as another kid whose name he didn’t know. The boy was not a part of Toman… but he also was? There was a fight again Black Dragons, and a face down with… Mikey?
“What the fuck.”
Ryusei grimaced, nodding.
“Exactly my thoughts. Is this supposed to be the memories that Tachibana guy was talking about?”
Right. That. Keisuke wasn’t even certain that it was possible, let alone true.
“You mean the thing supposed to make people remember their future? I didn’t see that work!”
Ryusei sighed, massaging his temples.
“What am I supposed to know. My knowledge equals yours here! But… it really does make sense.”
Keisuke perked up, hearing those words again. He had something to say to that.
He didn’t agree at all. In the span of a few minutes, he had just witnessed half of his most important friends with older features, all tired and depressed, and he had seen two men including his childhood friend committing suicide. This made absolutely no sense!
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean… that it explains Chifuyu’s recent behavior.”
Keisuke… had forgotten about that. The current owner of that tape came back to the front of his mind with a flash, making him stunned for a minute.
No. Chifuyu wouldn’t… he wasn’t?
“You telling me Chifuyu’s a time… time-leaper?” he clarified, dubitative.
The glance Ryusei spared him was full of uncertainty, before he made his way to the player again.
“I don’t know. Perhaps the same thing happened to him. He just might have found this tape by accident, reviewed his content, couldn’t remember anything at all just like us, and went on his merry way. But it doesn’t sound plausible.”
Keisuke didn’t know what to say to that.
He frowned.
“Wait. What are you doing?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not taking it out. I’m just checking if there’s a way to skip it entirely.”
The long-haired boy raised an eyebrow.
“Skip it? That’s the same as not watching it!”
“And that’s what we’re supposed to do, idiot!”
No way. Absolutely no way. Keisuke wasn’t just going to ignore what he saw. This concerned his friends, goddammit, all his friends! Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya, Pah, Kazutora, even Chifuyu as well! The Kawata were concerned, Mitsuya’s vice captain was concerned… who wasn’t?
“Get back here, Ryusei. You’re not an expert, you’re gonna break that thing.”
“What?! I just put it back together moron! Why do you think I’m going to-”
The screen flickered back to life, and neither of them could help but turning back to it, their focused happed by it.
Keisuke feared what he would see as much as he anticipated it.
In the end, it was Mikey who appeared once more. Still an older Mikey, but no older than the one in the first message, the one that said ‘for Takemitchy in 12 years.’
He seemed tired. But he was smiling. And he wasn’t the only one sitting on screen.
“I’m done. It should work now.”
Draken appeared from behind the camera. Keisuke’s eyes widened, taken aback. Draken was here too?
Mikey smiled at him.
“Ah, thanks, Ken-chin. Come sit with me?”
“Jeez… Alright. Here I come.”
Mikey turned back to the screen, obviously not used to it. He coughed in his palm before waving.
“Hi! Umh so… You’re probably kinda confused right now. That was a lot to throw on everyone like that. I hope you’re fine… I also hope you didn’t throw up your guts after having gained back your memories and that of the main timeline… That’s us, by the way. Ken-chin and I, we’re people from the main timeline. The… Ken-chin?”
Draken sighed.
“The ninth. Timeline eight, or something.”
“Thanks! So, we’re from the ninth timeline. Us having our memories rewritten, like Ken-chin put it, basically equated to us knowing about the future, since our timeline and the main one are only one and the same.”
“Right… Way to be unclear.”
Mikey pouted playfully, although it seemed a bit dulled compared to the real Mikey.
“Then explain it yourself!”
“Tsk… What a pain.”
Draken ran a hand over his frontal bangs. Keisuke noticed how the both of them had bags under their eyes.
They both looked like they were messing around, yet they were nothing but serious.
“Okay. I’ll try to make it… not simple, but understandable. So… normally, I’d guess that this stupid tape fell in your hands, or on your head, in Mikey’s case…”
“Oi.”
“And you watched the previous segments. Right? And then, after that, suddenly your head was full of information you weren’t supposed to know about. Let’s call that a download of memories. If you’re lucky, those memories went through you and it just felt like you watched a documentary in sped up version.”
Keisuke blinked. That… was totally what happened to him. He exchanged a glance with Ryusei, who nodded to confirm it was what happened to him as well.
Draken’s eyes narrowed.
“Now, if you’re unlucky… It didn’t feel like that for you. By now, you probably remember all that happened in the main timeline through your own perspective, as if you really lived it… which you did. These are the memories of your own self from this timeline. If you don’t come from this timeline, like Mikey and I, you can say your memories have been rewritten. It means that memories that are not yours have been imprinted onto your memories, without erasing them. I hope it’s clear.”
Draken pointed respectively at himself, then at Mikey.
“I’m part of the first case. Mikey’s in the second.”
He raised a second finger.
“Now this should be the case for most of y’all, but another thing should have happened by now. Let me explain. Tachibana Naoto, Hinata’s little brother from the future, sent this tape back in time. No problem here. The problem is that, as he said, the ability to time travel needs someone alive to power it. So halfway through its time travel, the tape attached itself to a soul. Both Mikey’s and my souls in this case. And it continued on its merry way until here. The precise day during which Toman was disbanded.”
The precise day during which Toman disbanded.
Toman disbanded.
Keisuke couldn’t possibly have heard that right.
Tokyo Manji-Kai? Disbanded?
The worst joke of the year. What on earth.
But Mikey had talked about this before. Keisuke shouldn’t be so surprised.
But he was. He wanted an explanation. Why had Toman been disbanded? What caused it!
“So basically. In the process, the tape dragged the both of us back in time. It made us time travel. Pretty impressive, said like that, huh?”
Mikey chuckled awkwardly by his side.
Draken remained unphased.
“The truth is, we both spent the night breaking down at throwing up our dinner. Let me tell you it’s not fun.”
Suddenly, Keisuke was reminded of something similar happening two weeks ago.
Chifuyu.
“For fuck’s sake, that shit happened to Chifuyu,” he muttered, cursing to himself, but Ryusei heard him.
“Which means that Chifuyu’s a time traveler,” added his vice-captain, sounding as stunned as Keisuke felt.
Gods. No. That was still impossible. The possibility of it still couldn’t register in Keisuke’s mind.
But why?
“I’m honestly not sure it’ll happen to everyone. It’s just… well goddammit, the future is damn traumatic.”
“Like the past isn’t…”
“Mikey, shut your mouth please.”
“Got it.”
Draken sighed. Keisuke didn’t know how he could act so casually about this.
“In any case, it might even be worse for some of you. I tell you, Mikey had it rough compared to me. Like… I lived my own death, and that was wild. Mikey witnessed my death and that of another of our friends, and it was super wild too. I guess it depended of how much trauma was dumped on you. Imagine if I were ten years old instead of, you know… sixteen. My brain would have imploded. I wish that on none of you. Not even Kisaki. Not even Mikey.”
“Why do I sound like the worst person on earth when you say it like that?” Mikey raised his eyebrows at Draken, who gracefully ignored it.
Alright. This was too much for Keisuke. Far too much.
Draken was sixteen?
Draken died?
Suddenly, once again, he was thrown into the memories… But it was a bit different.
It was… It was…
Draken was running. Keisuke was suddenly right beside him.
Draken was running, as though it was a matter of life and death… And it was. It was only not about his death. It was… a dear friend.
Draken had to arrive on time! No matter what!
Keisuke couldn’t understand what was happening. These thoughts weren’t his own, this urgence wasn’t his own, and he shouldn’t feel the rain poking at his skin, but somehow he did. He felt it all. And he knew it wasn’t his to feel.
Draken made his way through the crowds, the public places, guided by a few words from his friend, hopefully they had the right place.
Then, they could hear it. Faint sounds, screams far away, and gunshots. The urgency decupled. They might already be dead!
Who might already be dead? Keisuke couldn’t make sense of all those thoughts. But he understood one thing. This was Draken. Suddenly, he could see him. Draken, running, next to him. But Keisuke wasn’t running. Strange.
The screams were closer now. ‘Die, Hanagaki!’
Draken could see them. Just a few more seconds, just a few more steps…
He couldn’t let that man die. Not when… not when this was the only person who could save Mikey.
He jumped front.
Pain surged like explosions in his body. Adrenaline in his blood, he kicked their weapons away, positioning himself in front of his friend.
It hurt.
Did he succeed?
He turned.
“You good, Takemicchi?”
Keisuke looked too. There was that blond kid again. He was crying, protecting someone in a long coat in his arms.
“D-Draken-kun!”
Draken stared at the opponents. This was bad. If they decided to take it on… could Draken take them on? Keisuke could still feel that pain in his torso, burning under the touch of the rain. To move, in this condition…
Thankfully, the small punks left all on their own. Draken stood tall, the adrenaline still pumping in his blood… for now.
“Fucking- call an ambulance! Imbecile!” Keisuke screamed.
He didn’t know if anyone really heard him. Did he even say those words aloud?
The two kids in their backs had straightened.
“Thank you so much, Draken-kun!”
“Sure…”
Someone had to notice. Why wasn’t Draken saying anything? Keisuke thought he was smarter than that.
He kicked the gun away. There was anger burning in his stomach… could it be the reason why he was still standing? That fury, agitating his blood, making him numb to the pain for a while longer.
“They got the nerve to attack with such dangerous weapons…”
The pain still made his features strain, particularly under the eyes. How come the kids didn’t see it? But Draken wasn’t facing them. How could they notice the blood on his black uniform? Keisuke gritted his teeth. He could do nothing.
Helplessness, again, a feeling he wished never to experience anymore.
“But… Why are you here, Draken-kun?” the clueless blond little shit asked.
“Inupi heard it somewhere, that there were people planning to attack you tonight, and that they were heading over here, to the amusement park.”
Inupi… Draken had an idea where such an information could have reached him. He wanted to huff. Brat… Sad brat. Well. Draken would be the same if he could. If only Mikey were still… even just willing to…
“These guys… were really trying to kill me, huh?”
“They’re Rokuhara’s kids.”
“Rokuhara…!!”
Keisuke didn’t know who Inupi was, and what he was hiding from Draken. He didn’t know what Rokuhara was either. And right now, he couldn’t care less. All he could care about was how Draken was slowly untensing, how the pain was coming at him three-fold, how he was softening like it didn’t matter.
It mattered.
Why did Keisuke have to see that?
Draken grinned.
“C’mon, you gotta know that you bear a high title around here,” he croaked out, the strain almost mistakable for tiredness due to his naturally deep voice. “Those dudes were sure to shit their pants when they heard someone like you joined Brahman instead.”
Like any of this was important.
Like that blond kid was important enough for Draken to sacrifice himself for him. He wasn’t even part of Toman!
“Why! Tell me why!” Keisuke wanted to yell.
He didn’t understand.
And that Takemicchi guy went on, without a clue, like a fucking idiot.
“That’s why they went as far as using a gun…” he said pensively.
Draken was solemn when he finally said.
“The war of Three Deities might not be a plain delinquent conflict anymore. They are involved in shady businesses, and companies invest in them. They have a different look in their eyes.”
Draken wished none of his friends had to mingle with those.
He laughed inside. What an amusing wish, when his very best friend had created the most dangerous of all Deities. And another dear friend was here, getting neck deep into all that shit to get him back. To think Draken wasn’t going to be there to make sure none of them were going to die…
They were absolutely going to go at each other’s throats, were they not? Hah.
That shocked Keisuke into pause. What? Mikey… Keisuke had something to do with those shitty three Deities? One of which had just- just shot his friend and left him to die in the middle of that muddy rain?
What the fuck.
Blond kid had walked, now standing next to Draken, his gaze just as far away.
“I wonder what’ll happen next…”
They shared a knowing silence.
“…Maybe Mikey saw this coming.”
What was ‘this’? Keisuke didn’t know what was happening at all.
Was it… this whole situation? What was happening in Tokyo right now, probably. And how the people of Toman would be welcomed if they joined back the world of the streets.
Mikey… probably knew things would turn out like that. He probably knew what he was getting into as well, when it first started. Draken wished he could say Mikey also knew what he was doing, but…
Gods, Draken wished there was more he could do.
“Draken-kun…” the blond kid cut him in his gloomy thoughts just as all his strengths were starting to leave him. “Let’s keep it between us, but…” he whispered, “just now, I was able to foresee the future.”
Draken’s eyes widened in surprise.
Huh… That…
“In that future, I saw Senju die protecting me.”
Why did this feel like…
“I’ve prevented that terrible outcome. It’s all thanks to you, Draken-kun.”
Like… maybe, just maybe…
“We’ve successfully changed one future!”
Draken felt like chuckling. Maybe, Draken managed to push this present just one more step in the right direction.
Maybe he couldn’t save Mikey himself but…
“Is that so…”
Even so.
Draken smiled, relieved.
“Then I’m glad.”
Keisuke stared at him with eyes full of horror. Even as the two others cluelessly ran away, unknowing of the truth of this moment, Draken stayed rooted to the ground, like a pillar of faith.
Keisuke never wanted anything like this to happen.
Why.
How?
How had things come to this?”
“Takemicchi. Please tell this to Mikey…”
“Huh?” the other stopped, having turned back toward his friend.
That brat… Mikey… Draken just wanted them to go back to how they were. Happy, carefree, however burdened they still were… together.
But he knew now, he couldn’t stop him. Stop any of them anymore.
He would just have to wait for them, huh.
“‘Don’t cause… too much trouble’…”
In the background, Keisuke could vaguely hear the Takemicchi boy’s confused words, before Draken fell. But he felt numb. Much like Draken, perhaps.
Horrified. By the fact that Draken seemed satisfied with that. With this end.
“I’ve done… all I can do.”
…
‘I can’t hear a thing…
I can’t move my hands…
The sky is getting blurry…
What is it, Takemicchi… What’s with that terrible face…
Oh…’
…
“I see. I’m… dying.”
Draken hadn’t even realized.
But Keisuke had. He’d seen all the signs. He’d felt them. Even if they were veiled, by whatever mental protection was between him and these memories…
These were memories. Draken… had died. It was real. All of this was real.
The blond child was still crying.
“What are you talking about?! Don’t say things like that!! Everything will be okay by tomorrow! Right!? Because you’re Draken…”
Yeah. Keisuke had thought that too. That there were people in life that simply couldn’t die.
He wished he could still believe it after that.
For fuck’s sake, Draken was…
No. He had to remind himself that Draken was alive. Draken was fine, healthy and well, Keisuke had seen him just the other day. This… this was…
This wasn’t real. Right?
But it was. Keisuke remembered a time when he, too, looked for reassurances, that everything would be fine once morning come again. He’d done it too. Fell into the delusion.
It never lasted long. Only till the morning came, and nothing went back to normal.
“Takemicchi… Don’t blame yourself, okay?”
This was so much like Draken, Keisuke huffed, his emotions bubbling up. He might fool himself into thinking he was crying, if only he had an actual form.
“This all happened, not because you came back to the past, but because of my own will.”
Always caring for others before worrying about himself. It was like a passion with that man. He was… a bit like a big brother too, like Mitsuya. In fact, he’d been their big brother for even longer than Mitsuya.
“You saved my life, so I’ll gladly put my life on the line for you.”
A stupid big brother.
“Draken-kun…!” sobs.
“Do you get me?”
“…Yeah.”
They sat all alone. In the rain. Keisuke was there too. And to him… it made no sense.
Then, Draken started speaking again.
“You know, when I was in elementary school, I lost so many fights.”
Keisuke perked up.
It made no sense.
“Eh-?!” the blond kid said. “Someone like you?!”
“I messed with the older guys, you see.”
Why… Why was Draken talking with that guy like he was his younger brother? His junior? Why… this guy, who looked like he couldn’t even pack a punch?
Why are you telling him this? Why are you protecting him? Why?
It made no sense.
Draken of course… didn’t answer.
“After losing, I’d crawl on the ground and stare at the sky like this. When I looked at the sky, everything else became so irrelevant to me. I found peace.”
“… I kinda understand what you mean.”
Keisuke knew, too. That feeling, when he kept losing against Mikey.
“But Mikey… he’s never seen that sky.”
Because Mikey never lost.
Keisuke didn’t know if it was Draken who thought that, or himself. Mikey never lost, because he was the strongest.
But Keisuke knew very well that Mikey had, in fact, lost before. If never in a fight. And he knew… after losing something… someone, looking at the sky… it only made it feel like the universe was mocking them.
“It’s a shame that he never experienced defeat.”
Yeah. That might be what Mikey was missing.
“…Takemicchi.”
His voice started to get wobbly. Keisuke didn’t like that.
Was he crying too?
“I really liked that guy.”
Why did this feel like giving up?
Why was this… so frustrating?
“The way he carried everything on his back… And yet, somehow, he was able to endure it all. All of that… I’ve been with him through all of that…”
It couldn’t end like that. Keisuke wouldn’t accept it.
Not when Draken… not when Mikey wasn’t even here!
This couldn’t be finished just like that, without that guy even being here. How was this supposed to be a goodbye?
But Draken had accepted it… He didn’t have the strength to cry. Or was it that he did his best not to?
Keisuke didn’t know. Draken either. It was too confused. Everything.
“That’s why… I wish I could’ve done something to help him.”
“Draken-kun…”
Ah. Right. They both realized what it was. That iron blood in the air, wetted down by the rain, looking at the dark clouds… at dark, almost unseeing eyes.
It was the taste of unfinished business.
Or… unfinished purpose, perhaps.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.
“Hey, Takemicchi…? Can I ask… something lame of you?”
“…Sure.”
Strange. How every time Draken felt himself fade, the sky was crying for him.
“Please take care of Mikey.”
Draken was crying, too. But he was also smiling.
“…Absolutely.”
And Keisuke wished he couldn’t understand. But when there was no one else, it didn’t really matter who was this guy anymore… he had all his respect. For not tarnishing Draken’s last moments… His last wish. A wish that… Keisuke would have asked as well, if it had been him.
Suddenly, Keisuke understood all too well. Or maybe that was just the relief and gratitude numbing Draken’s mind, which he could feel too.
Keisuke could feel it. Draken wasn’t there anymore.
He was back there. With Mikey, and them. All of them.
“Haha… My final memories are… with Toman, huh…”
The only safe place… in this world they held.
“I’m on my way, Emma.”
And suddenly, Keisuke was thrusted back in his own body. And his tears were flowing down his face, like they’d always been there.
In an instant, he was on the ground.
“Baji! Baji, are you alright?!”
That was Ryusei. Keisuke didn’t even register him, to be honest. Not when, not when… that had just happened.
Gods. Draken had died. Alone.
How was he supposed to be fine with that?
On the screen, both of his friends appeared weary, themselves caught in their memories. Draken was the first to close his eyes.
“At the time… I just wished I could be with all of you guys again. So, tonight, Mikey and me… we’re here to protect just that.”
He raised his eyes to the camera, and Keisuke had the feeling he was staring into his eyes.
The tears wouldn’t stop.
“We will save Toman.”
Mikey remained silent, in solemn agreement at his side. He put a hand on Draken’s shoulder, and they remained like this for a while. The smile Draken offered him was pained.
It was Mikey who spoke again.
“Takemicchi,” he addressed him, that blond teenager, again. “All this time, I and Draken… you and Chifuyu, Baji, all of us… we’ve been trying to protect that. The Tokyo Manji-Kai. But I don’t remember ever telling you what it was. So let me tell you.”
Mikey smiled, and it was painful as well.
“What’s the Tokyo Manji-Kai, huh? Well, Toman… Toman is simply a complex game of belonging.”
He closed his eyes.
“And all these, that belong to me… I’ve destroyed them all with my own two hands.”
Notes:
Well well well... this is it?
*runs away*
*comes back just to add* since we're on topic, actually, I've been meaning to say. I've been asking myself how this power of Takemichi suddenly acquiring foresight of the future even happened, because that was just like 'new cheat power scenaristic ease to go through plot' that. And then I realized... do you know who died that seemed to always know about the future, whom Takemichi was the last he spoke to? That's right, Kisaki! So maybe foresight is a different ability that Takemichi inherited at Kisaki's death. That would make more sense than Kisaki being a time leaper, I think, and that would explain his new power up.
Bye! Don't kill me! Chapter 222 genuinely hurt me too.
Chapter 26: N: All of them.
Notes:
Is it me or my word count is becoming a bit longer every chapter (^^'''
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Yuzuha frowned slightly.
"Hakkai! Don't let your things around! Who knows what could happen to them, in this house..."
"Huh? What thing? I'm pretty sure I'd cleaned the space!"
Yuzuha heard the steps or her younger brother approaching, until he was right next to her, looking at the forgotten tape in the middle of the living room.
Now they looked like two puzzled teenagers. Which they were.
"Uh... That's not mine, sis."
"That has to belong to someone. Do you see Taiju watching movies?"
Hakkai shivered at that idea. But then he frowned, looking more closely at the tape.
"It's weird," he said, taking the labelless tape in his hands. "It looks like its label was torn away... and it's covered in blood?"
"Blood? Don't jooke about things like that, Hakkkai," Yuzuha tried her best not to quiver to obviously, she was the strong one in this duo. "Show it to me. Oh, you're right..."
Like the two idiot teens they were... they watched it.
Ryusei bit his tongue, attempting to regain his composure. On of them had to keep his cool, and it certainly didn’t seem to be Baji. So, it was Ryusei’s job.
Of course. The experience had been extremely off-putting, but Ryusei had swatted the surprise away as soon as possible to focus on what was important. He saw Draken – their vice commander, what the fuck – die from gunshot wounds to save a blond teenager named Takemicchi, or something.
First obstacle. He clenched his eyes shut. The blood, the form of it, the wound itself, and that fucking gun, all of it reminded him of Chifuyu’s recent encounter with criminals. Right. Gunshot wounds were fatal, what if…
But Chifuyu had been lucky. He was alive, and so was Draken. Ryusei had to focus. The blond. He said he could foresee the future. That really sounded like a recurring theme in this whole case. The future, warning the past, changing the flow of time… Now that he thought about it, Tachibana Naoto called Hanagaki Takemichi the boy with the ability to time-leap. Apparently, that boy knew both Draken and Mikey. Ryusei didn’t know what to think about that. Did this mean that Takemichi joined Toman eventually?
Not only that. But their very own commander had created a gang that was part of something called the Three Deities. People with guns. And Draken wasn’t a part of it. If Ryusei knew one thing about their vice commander, it was that he would follow Sano Manjiro to the end of the world. So what happened?
Even stranger. What happened for Draken to leave Mikey’s fate in the hands of a complete stranger?
That would be… in about three years. A bit more, four years.
Four years.
The screen rebooted. This time, Mikey was alone. They could hear Draken agitating not too far away.
“Toman is all about belonging. It’s… a sort of web. And all of it links back to me. It started very small, of course. It started… with Baji, and Draken. With Emma.”
Ryusei instinctively got ready for the rush he felt the first time, before being absorbed in the memories. It didn’t come right away, this time.
“At first, it was just a simple concept… It was family. And every time I met someone new, they became mine. I would claim them. That was the beginning.”
It came. But it was short.
“Well then, my name is Edward, call me ‘Ed’!”
“And I’m ‘Mikey’, short for Michael!”
…
“You really… don’t understand girls!”
A laugh.
Ryusei blinked, shook his head. He glanced at Baji for confirmation. Baji nodded.
“That’s… when Emma came around.”
“But then…” Mikey went on, “I didn’t realize it immediately, but it became more complicated. It started with Mitsuya, and Kazutora.”
“Mikey… Don’t be selfish! I’m going to take care of everything by myself!”
“Don’t worry, Kazutora. You belong to me. That’s why your pain and suffering… all of it. It’s mine.”
Baji flinched. Ryusei remembered clearly the day he had talked to them about his other friend. He did not pry.
“I claimed them as well… but Kazutora always belonged to Baji first, just as Mitsuya will always be Draken’s. And Draken’s also Mitsuya’s, not just mine. So we were a pretty tight knit group… And then, more came in. Hakkai belonged to Mitsuya, Ryusei then Chifuyu to Baji… It became a big thing. Everyone belonged to everyone. We were all each other had, for some. And they all, all belonged to me. Just as I belonged to them. It became so much more complicated, so much more… well, complex. But the essence of it was still the same. I don’t know how I…”
Mikey brought a hand to his forehead, his gaze haunted.
Dread crept up Ryusei’s spine.
“I don’t even know how it happened… but I started losing them along the way. Losing family.”
Suddenly Ryusei was looking at Baji, a younger one, cuffed hands and led to the police car, and he couldn’t believe what was happening even though he, Ryusei, was well aware of what was going on. Baji had tears in his eyes. It felt wrong, seeing him like that. Seeing him beginning to apologize, over and over again as he grasped at his- at Mikey’s shirt and pants, falling to his knees.
Then it was Chifuyu, sitting in front of him. In front of Mikey. His gaze was a dull, yet deep green.
“What do you want?”
Mikey sat in front of him, hesitant.
“I just… thought that we could talk.”
Ryusei saw him glaze over Chifuyu’s face, knowing he wasn’t actually seeing him, but someone else… he didn’t manage to catch who it was Mikey was thinking about. But Chifuyu seemed to know.
“I’m listening.”
And for some reason, the unreadable stare felt so kind, in a way Ryusei couldn’t understand, Mikey almost started crying then and there. He was sorry, to subject them both to this… So sorry.
It wasn’t finished. The sight switched to another one.
This time, Draken was punching Mikey.
Punching him… Punching him?
Ryusei couldn’t believe what his senses were telling him. Draken would never.
But Draken looked enraged.
“You built Toman to protect everyone, right!?”
It was such a sad rage. A grieving one. And Mikey wasn’t any better. He was empty. Hollow inside in a way he would always recognize.
He didn’t think he could climb back that hill, anymore.
Takemichi was trying to stop Draken.
“Please stop! Draken-kun!”
“Yet we got Pah-chin arrested!”
“What are you saying, Draken-kun!?”
“Baji is dead!”
Ryusei stopped breathing.
“Kazutora got arrested!”
“Mikey-kun!”
Mikey fell back, Draken got rid of the blond with a ‘fuck off’ before he started crying.
“And now Emma-!” they were both at his feet, and he was crying. “Emma is…”
It didn’t stop there. But Ryusei was suddenly drowning. He didn’t know if he could still follow.
Baji… was dead? No. No! Emma too?
That was impossible.
“I feel so empty inside…”
…
“I have a bad feeling about tonight.”
…
“Takemicchi…?
“Give me your hand, Mikey-kun. You’re the trigger, that’s why…”
No.
“I can do it all over again… over and over… I’ll… I’ll save you.”
No.
“Over again?” Mikey repeated, stunned.
Finally he realized what was going on.
And Ryusei also realized what this was about. What all of this was about.
“What are you… What are you talking about?”
“Over and over again… I will…”
“Hang in there, Takemichi! Hey, Takemichi!!”
Ryusei was back to reality. Immediately he looked for Baji.
Baji who… died. In the future.
How long from now? Where? In what circumstances? Ryusei needed to know. Baji saved him, twice, he needed to- Baji couldn’t die. He couldn’t, Ryusei would not allow him, how could he have allowed him to die, what- when-
“…sei! Ryusei! Wake the fuck up!”
Ryusei blinked himself out of it.
“Baji…! They said, you were…”
“Yeah, I know. Forget about that for five minutes, okay? Just breathe! I don’t want you to keel over in the middle of this shit, okay? Pull yourself together!”
Ryusei nodded numbly. Right, he… he had to focus. This wasn’t about him. This was about- about Toman. Not just him, not just Chifuyu, all of them. This was important. He had to listen.
He examined Baji’s features. The older boy was barely holding on too. Between his own death and Draken’s… there was Emma’s too, his childhood friend with Mikey. It was a wonder he hadn’t broken down yet. Baji was just like him, trying to hold on, despite how terrifying this all was.
They were just kids, and they were all going to die.
Ryusei breathed sharply.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m… I’m fine. You can let go now.”
“It’s just like Draken said, sometimes I feel like… everything I try to protect, how I do it, it ends up destroying everything just the same way. And it’s not counting all those from the other timelines, who died and will never come back again, forgotten…”
Mikey’s laugh was self-deprecating. Ryusei couldn’t blame him now that he knew what he knew. It would be excruciating, for him as well, to speak… of such things… A hand came to rest on Mikey’s shoulder. Probably Draken’s. Mikey smiled, softening momentarily. At least he had someone.
“I think I might be the one destroying everyone’s future… And I really want to stop doing that. But I don’t trust myself. So I… I disbanded Toman.”
Then, it began all over again. Ryusei was starting to become used to that feeling.
“Everyone, listen up!”
A gathering. Takemichi and Mikey were together, at the top.
“We made a lot of sacrifices, but after defeating Tenjiku, Toman is now Japan’s top gang!”
Ryusei scanned the crowd with his eyes, but he couldn’t see himself.
“Right now, we have created a great era that will be handed down to generations to come! …That’s why… I want to end it all while we’re at the top.”
Mikey grinned wild. There was fire. But the joy was missing, in the middle of all those emotions.
“As of today, the Tokyo Manji-Kai is disbanded!”
“So… Toman was really…”
Ryusei looked at Baji. His head was down, his gaze floated over the ground, like he couldn’t believe it.
Mikey smiled softly.
“That happened just today… I feel like it’s been an eternity since then. But still, just like I said then… Toman is forever in our hearts. We’re still united, a family… And perhaps, because of that, I can never save the ones I love. But in that past, where no curse befalls me, where we’ll all just be happy teenagers fighting like idiots, without knives, without guns, just our fists and our feelings, then… Takemichi, I think you could save them.”
…
“Now, that’s enough, Mikey. Let’s resume later.”
“…Mh. See you, everyone.”
Another section was done just like that.
This time, Ryusei didn’t try to stop the tape from playing. He was still too shocked to do that. And… he couldn’t. I’m sorry, Chifuyu.
It resumed soon. This time, Draken was the only one in front of them.
“Yo, everyone. Uh… it’s kinda weird to address people like that when I don’t even know if it’s gonna work at all, but… I’ve something to tell you.”
He looked at them dead in the eyes.
“I’ll go to the point. The system mini-Tachibana designed with the tape… it’s shit! You’re lucky I’m here!”
Draken proceeded to explain a lot of things that neither Ryusei nor Baji could understand.
“And basically if you do it like that, you’ll also be able to copy whatever content you create on the tape to another, for example, or you’ll be able to broadcast it at the same time. If you wanna, you can totally copy the entire tape on another, for your personal use. It’ll be the same, minus the memory giving and time travel ability, so don’t try too hard. Also, I’ve made a guide as to how to use all of this shit, I’ll hide it inside the tape, okay? Hopefully it’ll leap with it… And won’t burn. That… was all. We’ll talk later, when Mikey’s back.”
Out again.
Back immediately, with the two boys- the two young men sitting front again.
“So… We’re not actually supposed to explain everything that happened to Toman. If I understood well, we’re supposed to give memories… by remembering the people?" Draken tried to remember, and it seemed both he and Mikey were back to playful interactions.
"Seems like it. Wouldn’t it be fun if we could reach specifically one person from a certain timeline?” Mikey exclaimed with a barely contained excitement – but perhaps it was faked, Ryusei wouldn’t know.
He turned to see if Baji had the answer, but Baji was unreadable. For a change, he thought ironically.
“That’s exactly the goal, dumbass,” Draken swatted at the back of the shorter’s skull. “No guarantee that it’ll work… Mini-Tachibana was from the same timeline as us. The good tactic would be to target someone in particular from the next timeline. For example, someone close to us like…”
“Mitsuya?”
“Uh, yeah, Mitsuya works. But maybe… someone like Izana might be better?”
Mikey tensed. Baji made a sound of confusion at the back of his throat. If even Baji didn’t know, then who the fuck was that?
Thankfully, Mikey covered it with a smile immediately, waving at the screen.
“Ah… In case you don’t know him, Izana’s just my adopted brother… He’s… a bit dead right now… Moving on,” Mikey changed topics very quickly. “How about we talk about everyone? Are they people who should absolutely not receive the tape?”
Draken was pensive for a moment.
“Actually, I don’t think Takemicchi acquiring it too early would be a good idea. Imagine that guy, always so forward and hopeful- he’d send it back to the future instead.”
Mikey winced.
“Right, that’s actually… a serious issue. So, not Takemicchi for now huh… Hope you still get this one day, Takemicchi!”
“What he said.”
“That Takemicchi… he seems to be really important for them,” Ryusei remarked to Baji, who lowered his chin with narrowed eyes.
“Yeah… I don’t know who the fuck it is yet. Looks weak, but perhaps he’s a good guy…?”
Ryusei nodded.
“He seems like a pretty important key in this whole scheme. A time-leaper, huh?”
Gods… What did it say about Ryusei that he found it easier to believe time-leapers existed than to imagine Baji dead in any future, even remote? He chuckled to himself, taking his head into his hands. Thankfully, Baji didn’t comment on it.
“So… There’s our timeline, which is the result of countless time changes through the time stream,” Mikey looked like he was counting on his fingers. “Then… there’s the happy timeline-”
Draken hit him again, with more spite this time. Mikey looked properly chastised when the taller hissed at him.
“Happy yourself, you bastard! If you ever try to fucking leave because you think it’s better for everyone, I will strangle you right this instant!”
Draken sighed when Mikey didn’t reply. He resumed, with a more sober tone this time.
“The timeline before our own would be the eighth, I think, if we follow mini-Tachibana’s logic. If we were to call it some sort of name, I’d say…” he stole a glance at Mikey before looking away. “The timeline of the left behind. That’s the impression it gave me when Takemicchi told me about it.”
“…Don’t put it like that,” Mikey sighed, running a hand through his bangs. “At least everyone was alive, was it not enough?”
“You left, imbecile. You left us to mourn our dead, and then you accumulated a thousand other ones behind you and we all ended bearing those with the responsibility over not stopping you. YOU fucking died with Takemicchi in the end. Do you know how we must have felt? His marriage with Hinata was coming in three days! Chifuyu lost a best friend! Hakkai and Angry were probably devastated I lost my best friend! Inui lost his best friend! How the fuck is it a happy timeline?”
“Alright calm the fuck down!”
There was a silence, cut only by Draken’s angry pants as he caught his breath and the static caught by the audio camera. Ryusei felt his head spinning. So… It wasn’t just Baji and Emma. Mikey, and that Takemicchi too.
Chifuyu had lost a best friend?
Mikey wasn’t quite ready to accept his defeat.
“You say that, but shall I remind you it was also the only fucking timeline in which you and Chifuyu actually survive. Without even speaking of Hinata-chan. I count that as a damn win in my book,” the last sentence was spit out like a curse, and Draken’s breath hitch.
Ryusei felt his heart stop beating all over again.
“What the-”
“Excuse me?!” his own shout overpowered Baji’s shocked murmur.
“You should know, whether it’s me or Mitsuya, we’d be fucking glad to die for you in any and every timeline. I’m pretty sure Chifuyu is the same, or he would have left Toman a long time ago, even now.”
“And I disagree with that mindset.”
“We’ll have to agree on this disagreement, then.”
At the back of his mind, Ryusei realized how strange the two commanders were acting toward each other. Like there was only a very, very fragile truce between the both of them, one that was so easily shaken they broke into fights every few minutes.
It wasn’t normal.
But at the same time, Ryusei was too floored by his most recent revelation to think about that. Chifuyu? Die? Nah, that piece of shit would never bite the dust so easily… but then the same could be said for Baji.
What the fuck was happening, in the end!
And if it was a really bad surprise for Ryusei to find out both his closest friends without counting Kojiro would die in an unknown amount of time, then he didn’t know how to qualify the difficulty Baji encountered learning this.
He took it hard.
“Won’t this fucking thing explain itself!? What does Chifuyu even have to do with that whole shit?”
Ryusei shook his head.
“You won’t have answers if you keep yelling over it… I can’t believe this shocks you when you’ve just learned about your own death.”
“I don’t care about my own death, it’s not set in stone anyways! I’m the master of myself, I just have to make sure I don’t die! But Chifuyu, that piece of shit, how do you suppose we stop him from walking to his death himself?”
For fuck’s sake.
Baji was right. Ryusei felt anxious all over again. Just two weeks ago, Chifuyu had jumped into a criminal hideout and had taken a fucking bullet in his bone. Ryusei could only imagine that if he hadn’t protected himself, his thoracic cage might’ve been crushed instead.
Before they could speculate more, Mikey took it upon himself to resume.
“Will you let me go on?”
“… Right. Do whatever.”
Mikey coughed in his hand, to escape the tense atmosphere they had created, turning back to the camera.
“That’s timeline seven, or the eighth timeline if I understood well. The seventh is… a bit less nice. Let’s call it a massacre. Tenjiku… the gang my adopted brother led, it overpowered Toman and turned it into a criminal syndicate… I actually think that’s what happened in every timelines down from this one, Takemicchi just didn’t know that yet. And Izana might’ve died, depending on which side Kisaki was on… At any rate. In that time branch, I kill everyone but Takemicchi, and I end up dying at mini-Tachibana’s hand anyway. The price of being a murderer…”
“Don’t laugh.”
“Sorry. At least you don’t go on death row in this one?”
“I go on death row in others?”
“Yeah… The sixth timeline is… I’m not sure if it’s worse? Takemicchi said mini-Tachibana considered the seventh to be the worst of all, and I guess they both died in that one too… killed by Kisaki and Izana. But I was talking about the sixth timeline. Takemicchi was in Toman for that one, so he was able to see that Black Dragons had taken over Toman – as I said, Tenjiku was probably there too, even if they might’ve lost this time – and almost all our original members were corrupted. So that was a funny one. Not a lot of people die in that one though… Just Taiju – that’s Hakkai’s big brother, the leader of the tenth generation of Black Dragons. Mitsuya probably died, too, from what I heard. Draken was on death row… and Chifuyu. He was basically ‘the last one standing’, if you wanna give him a cool title.”
“Mikey… Stop making fun of all of this, I beg you.”
“I’m not. I promise I’m not. I know they’re dead forever, and no time-leap will be able to change that. I’m sorry… and I’m grateful to them too.”
Right. Draken, Mitsuya and Chifuyu. Three redundant victims in all these timelines. Ryusei swallowed the bile the images had conjured. He could see Baji trembling with repressed frustration at even just the idea of these three of his friends dying at every turn, almost.
Mikey bowed to them.
“If this film tape reached any of you. You must absolutely know that we acknowledge your sacrifice, and that we mourn you. All of you who fought and died for a cause you found worth your life, and all of you who died without having been given a choice… I apologize, for having dragged you into this mess. But also… You have my eternal gratitude. I promise that you will be remembered. I will make sure of it.”
Draken ended up bowing too.
“Shinichiro, the weakest leader. Baji, the most perceptive of all of us. Kazutora, the reason for the family called Toman. Taiju, a brother who didn’t know how to love. Emma, the brightest girl I ever knew. Izana, the loneliest king. Kakucho, who never forgot his righteous heart. Hinata, who has the strongest heart. Sendo, a man with humanity despite it all. Mitsuya, my brother in soul and Toman’s big brother. Chifuyu, the most loyal and just man you’ll ever meet in your life.”
Mikey took the baton.
“Pah, the guy we all knew would marry first. Peh, a pillar of strength for all of Toman in the face of adversity. Hakkai, a brave coward with a weak heart. Nahoya, the smiling devil, and Souya, the gentlest soul. Mucho, who gave the most he could, always. Sanzu… a childhood friend I never truly forgot. Naoto, the most fervent savior of time. And Takemicchi… our crybaby hero. And so many more. I can only dare to think of you, and the countless futures I cannot remember, in which death was your fate. You are seen, and loved. You are all mine. Your suffering… is mine, as well. I dare to pretend the burden of your ends, of all of you, rests on my shoulders, as your leader. I hope that you can forgive me.”
All of them.
All of them died in one timeline or another.
Ryusei’s blood had turned to ice. There were so many. How had so many ended up dying? How could they be saved?
What did they do to deserve this?
The sheer number of names stunned Ryusei.
“I’m sorry for this parenthesis… Following that, there was the fifth timeline. In which… Toman was probably just as bad. Kazutora was dead in that one. Takemicchi admitted to have witnessed both Hinata-chan and Sendou Atsushi’s deaths in this timeline. He told me… it was the path that led him to his ambition to become the top leader of Toman. In the end… I guess he fulfilled it,” Mikey smiled with a tinge of bitterness.
What? That small blond guy, the leader of Toman?
Who the hell let him do that?
“The fourth was the one in which Draken was still dead… but Sendou Atsushi was a part of Toman. The third had one dead and the other in prison. The second… it was the one in which both Tachibana siblings died. The one in which I lived. The timeline my brother, Shinichiro, created for me… the timeline that first held the curse. We need to go back to the first timeline, before I die, before Aniki kills the first time-leaper and jump back in time to save me. The one in which a lot of us probably never met, and would never meet were it not for time travel and the memories that link us all together now. Let’s try to reach that, okay?”
“…Yeah. Let’s try.”
“We’ll start with you, Takemicchi. We’re almost done, now, actually… We don’t have all that much to say.”
Mikey chuckled sadly.
“I’m sorry… We won’t be of much help. But we’ll give what we can.”
Notes:
One more chapter of them and then it'll get faster :D
Chapter 27: O: Please save us all.
Summary:
Baji learns more about Takemichi.
He also learns more about Chifuyu.
Mikey does something irreparable. No matter how much time can rewind itself.
Chapter Text
“Are you still watching that man?”
Shuji took his eyes off the pretty young man in sober suit he’d found himself staring at once again, only to let them fall on his long time… friend? Shuji didn’t know if he could call Kisaki a friend. At any rate, Kisaki took a seat by his side, grabbing a glass of wine for himself and took a look at the agitated room as he swirled it in its recipient.
“I tell you, don’t waste time on pieces of shit like him. It dirties your mind to think too much about these people.”
Kisaki threw a distasteful glance at the deceptively calm man Shuji had been observing for a good ten minutes now. Shuji hummed with an interrogative note, taking a sip of his own drink as he went back to his stalking.
“This is boring. He’s not.”
While his target was often very quiet and carefully blank, almost disinterested in everything, the gods knew that he was anything but.
But what did Shuji knew? Well…
Shuji knew that Matsuno Chifuyu was insanely crazy.
And oh. Shuji liked that.
Kisaki was the only man Shuji would ever follow, of course. He had started killing men for that person, and nothing would ever stop him from following him to the end of the world. At first, he had liked to tell himself it was only due to the excitement the smaller man brought to his lonely days, but Shuji could only tell himself that for so long before he had to face reality.
This reality… it was very boring. Shuji sometimes felt dead with how little he was feeling these days. This whole life had turned into a monotonous routine… everything Shuji hated most. Feeling numb, the excitement and fire of his youth only brief highs occurring very rarely now. But still, Shuji would never leave Kisaki.
Kisaki was the only leader he ever cared, and would ever care for.
That said, it didn’t stop Shuji from taking an interest in other people, however short lasting that interest was. But this particular interest had followed him to this day. An interest that had been born on October 21st, in 2005.
“I don’t get what you see in him,” Kisaki scoffed. “It’s Matsuno fucking Chifuyu, the guy with an old boring grudge.”
Shuji smirked, a chuckle on his tongue.
“Nah, you don’t get it,” he said. “You don’t see what I do. You’re never there when it matters, man… How boring.”
“But he’s not?”
“No, that guy’s anything but boring. It’s even more exciting that everyone thinks he is.”
Matsuno Chifuyu was a madman. And Shuji liked that.
What was even better was that Matsuno very much hated Shuji. That brought up many funny situations, and Shuji wanted that excitement, however he could get it.
“Disgusting. I don’t care about who you fuck, honestly.”
If only.
“I just wanted to give you a warning.”
Shuji raised an eyebrow as Kisaki put something on the table between them. The refined man with glasses looked incredibly annoyed.
“This is the last time I tell you this, stop leaving your trash at my home, seriously.”
When Kisaki said ‘trash’, he meant either Shuji’s dubious tools, his movies that Kisaki hated for their triviality, or… the recording of the people he liked to torture. Judging from the state of the tape and the urgency with which Kisaki wiped his finger on his handkerchief afterward, it probably was the third. Weird, Shuji didn’t remember having left any recently. It had been a while since the last time they had caught traitors. He shrugged, taking it anywhere.
“Sorry, I guess. Also…”
“What?”
Shuji grinned.
“Tell Matsuno to his face that you think I fuck him and record his reaction, please. I really wanna see it now-”
“Oh gods, I’m leaving.”
Kisaki’s exit was accompanied by Shuji’s loud bouts of laugher.
As for the tape? It remained forgotten on his dinner table for two more weeks. It only really became of interest when Shuji went on the run, after his favorite madman’s dying stunt. He didn’t know what he thought about it, but… with the state things were in…
Why not? It wasn’t like this could change his current life anyway, huh? Might as well have some fun while he was alive.
Right?
“Takemicchi… When I first saw you, I thought you weren’t a middle schooler. But I told you that, didn’t I?”
Mikey was back, alone again.
“Your back was so large. It was impressive. It looks like you can shoulder just about anything. You were being beaten to the ground, but damn… You were far more mature than all of those around you. I admit… it reminded me a tiny bit of Aniki,” Mikey chuckled in reminiscence.
Keisuke felt his surroundings change. Suddenly they were outside. Him, Mikey and Draken. They were watching a ring. There was a young boy, with piss blond hair, that Keisuke recognized as the Takemicchi guy. It was a familiar sight. With this stupid hair style, it really reminded Keisuke of someone…
Mikey acted bored, but he wasn’t. He hadn’t intervened yet, and the truth was, it was because of that boy. It was a strange feeling, a strange sight, and Mikey blinked a few times because he wasn’t certain of what he was seeing.
But looking at that broad back, standing still even though anyone as weak as this one would have already bitten the ground head first. Mikey knew the first feeling that grew in him at the sight… It was respected.
Yet, something else moved in his chest.
He frowned. Mikey was definitely stronger than this twink, far stronger. But, looking at him from behind like this, Mikey had this strange impression. He felt… protected?
It was weird.
Keisuke, feeling all of that from his childhood friend and commander, gazed at the brave idiot in the middle of the ring once more, with a new quality to his judgement. If Mikey was moved like this, then perhaps… perhaps he had misjudged that Takemicchi a bit?
Keisuke blinked, and he was back.
He felt a bit curious now.
He shook his head. Nah. Keisuke had priorities, and that blond guy wasn’t one of them.
“And the thing is, throughout our acquaintanceship, you kept on surprising me. You make bonds very easily, you know? I was kinda jealous when Black Dragons’ second in command came to tell me they wanted you to be the leader of the eleventh generation.”
“I found him first.”
“Uh…yeah?” the guy in front was unimpressed.
Keisuke was nonplussed. What was he looking at, even?
But this memory faded very fast, and soon enough Keisuke was looking at the screen again. Strange. This memory felt a bit aborted. He didn’t think more about it.
“You always go far beyond my expectations… that seems to be your thing, right? Always going even further, forward. It was incredible to see until I was on the other side. But… I really felt like you were my protector sometimes. It warmed my heart,” Mikey admitted softly, losing his smile as he remembered. “And I feared I… I lost myself in that sensation of comfort. In the end… I killed you.”
Keisuke felt his heart racing in his chest. The idea of Mikey actually killing someone…
The worst was, it wasn’t as foreign an idea as he wanted to make himself believe. But to think it had truly… that it would really happen in the future…
This was honestly getting more and more fucked up.
That determination in the one that faced him, it was warm in the cold air of this abandoned place.
“You don’t have to hold back anymore.”
“Huh?”
Disbelief.
Those words couldn’t be true, right?
But then, Mikey looked up. And he saw it.
“The second generation Tokyo Manji-Kai… was formed just to save you.”
Is this what it felt like?
Being cared for… being protected…
In safe hands.
“So please release your dark impulses with all you’ve got.”
Was it truly possible?
“I can see the future, so I’ll be able to do something about it.”
It was a reassurance. Words meant to appease him. It’s gonna be alright, they said. And Mikey wanted to believe it. He longed for that warmth, that comfort…
He wanted everything to be alright.
It felt like warm hands had just been extended toward him, just waiting for him to fall so they could catch him. It was like a dream… the hands of a long time friend, welcoming him back.
Saying, everything will be alright.
“So! I’m the only one who can crush your dark impulses!”
These eyes, the understanding in them.
And that familiar fist.
Mikey… he wanted it. He wanted it so bad. To rely on him again, on that broad back.
He wanted to rest.
“You can let go, Mikey.”
‘I’ll take care of everything.’
Mikey fell into those hands, with a trusting heart.
“And when I woke up, I had buried a saber in your body, and you were smiling, embracing me. And I regretted it. But the impulses… they never came back.”
Keisuke felt the foreign need to cry. To cry for who was once his best friend, and for what he had gone through, and was still living through.
Were his eyes still dry?
He was just grateful Ryusei had the tact to look away.
“I wish it didn’t end like that… I wish I could save you and save myself. I want to live too. But what is it worth if I’m the only one to live?”
“But I trusted you. You’re easy to trust, you know? Right, Ken-chin?”
Steps sounded, coming closer. Draken came into sight, dropping a towel on top of Mikey’s head, hiding him from sight.
“Yeah,” he said, with his deep kind voice, not commenting on what he heard before. “It’s so easy for him to gain our trusts, even of the most stubborn of us all, I’d say it’s his real magical ability.”
Draken dropped down next to Mikey, who’s limbs were shaken by little jumps, and Keisuke refused to think about what that meant. Draken put a hand on Mikey’s shoulder, and went on as if nothing was happening.
“We had other priorities at the time, but I’ll tell you now how surprised I really was, the 22th of October 2005 when you popped up with Chifuyu in tow.”
Keisuke didn’t have time to put his feelings aside before he was once again absorbed into Draken’s memories. They were at a cemetery, Draken observed as both Chifuyu and Takemichi were leaving. Then he turned to Mikey.
“That guy’s full of surprises, isn’t he?”
Mikey sighed.
“Tell me about it. You heard what he said…”
“Yeah. But he might actually have the potential to succeed.”
“Mh? What do you mean?”
Draken looked back to the direction Chifuyu had guided Takemichi away.
“Just think about it. Out of all people Chifuyu could have gone to, he went to Takemicchi, a guy he only met once before… I’m not even sure they spoke before.”
“Right. That’s a bit strange.”
Draken nodded.
“That guy… he’s one of the greatest judges of character I know. And he’s very picky with who he trusts and respects. For Takemicchi to catch his eyes without even having properly met…”
Draken smirked.
“We better prepare ourselves, Mikey. Even that would be enough a sign for all those who know the former to trust the latter on the spot right now. He’s going to fucking change Toman, I feel it.”
“Huh… Makes me wonder why I put him in the second division,” Mikey murmured. “Enough of that. Let’s get out of here.”
“Right.”
Draken threw them one last glance before turning away.
“…That…” Ryusei cut himself before he could speak more.
Keisuke didn’t really know what to think about that either.
Simply because, to him, Chifuyu didn’t seem like the kind of people who had trouble trusting others.
He felt like he was missing something.
“That’s not so surprising,” Ryusei said, and Keisuke whirled toward him with obvious incredulity. “Don’t look at me like that. You excluded, that’s basically what he does with everyone. Have you seen the amount of time he needed to warm up to me?” he pointed at himself, and Keisuke frowned as he tried to remember when Ryusei’s and Chifuyu’s banter had turned from tense to routine.
Alright. So, maybe Ryusei had a point.
“You think he’s a great judge of character?”
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
“Are you kidding me? Think of it as cat senses. Cats are freaking amazing at finding out the nature of a person. They can smell it. Chifuyu’s the same, he only comes close to those he approves of. Have you noticed how, out of all people in Toman, he always steer away from Sanzu, of all people?”
Ouch. Keisuke felt that one burn from Sanzu. But apart from that…
“Damn,” Keisuke blinked, disturbed, “Chifuyu’s never going to beat the cat allegations.”
He was too busy being weirded out for a couple of seconds to notice Ryusei watching him in silence. When he did, he frowned and growled.
“What?”
Ryusei smiled.
“Are you feeling better?”
Keisuke was taken aback. What-…
Oh.
“Yeah,” he admitted.
Chifuyu just had that effect on him… on them, he divined, examining Ryusei’s more relaxed expression as well.
“Alright. Let’s focus.”
Draken seemed to be searching for his words. They didn’t seem to have missed much. He’d gone on from talking about Takemicchi to Chifuyu.
“And I mean… He’s a reliable friend? I kinda like him as a junior, because I think he’s a bit like me, in a way. We’re always trying to support our captains the best we can, and also get them out of whatever stupidity they decided to get themselves into recently. He’s a really great friend, with solid shoulders, if a bit on the quiet side. I respect him a lot.”
“He’s kind too,” Mikey said from under the towel, he seemed a bit better now. “I remember the time he almost quit, but stayed just because I asked him,” he frowned. “Gods, I have feelings about that day, now…”
Keisuke was in a cafe, at a table shared by only two persons.
He looked at them, surprised. He really didn’t expect Chifuyu and Mikey to hang out together like that, of all people. Both of them were… something between grim and solemn. He couldn’t figure out why.
Chifuyu was the first to speak.
“I’m sorry to have called you here.”
Keisuke frowned. Chifuyu? He was the one who…?
There was a small pause.
“I have something important to talk to you about.”
Mikey nodded.
“Yeah.”
What could Chifuyu have to say to Mikey that was so important? This was seriously very strange.
Wait. Hadn’t Mikey just said…
“I…”
“Here’s your parfait!” the waitress cut him as Chifuyu started to speak, coming up with a parfait for two, easily.
Chifuyu didn’t seem all that interested in it.
“It’s mine!” Mikey exclaimed.
Chifuyu didn’t protest upon being interrupted, even if he looked tense. And Keisuke… Keisuke was still struck on his past realization.
Chifuyu? Quitting Toman?
What was this bullshit?
Chifuyu… Chifuyu would…
Keisuke still remembered; how happy his friend had been upon receiving his uniform. How excited he had been all along. How proud. Always ready to help. That kind of person… why?
Chifuyu would never.
There was a heavy silence for a while. Chifuyu looked down, his breath strained. Mikey was staring off into nothing.
It looked like both of them already knew what this was about.
Mikey took his spoon, gesturing at Chifuyu.”
“Yeah. Keep going.”
Chifuyu only briefly glanced at him, preparing to speak. It seemed… a difficult ordeal. Keisuke swallowed. After everything…
Keisuke knew how big of a deal this was for Chifuyu.
Yet, at the same time… he did not.
He didn’t understand. There was something heavy, weighing upon both boys, that he couldn’t understand, and it frustrated him, to no end.
“Mikey-kun… I… will-”
But Mikey cut him once more.
“So Yummy!” he exclaimed with a happy squeal. “They really do serve great wafers, after all!”
It put Chifuyu off, it was obvious with how he looked at Mikey and the stance he adopted. Keisuke thought he was going to get mad, after all Chifuyu was someone a bit impulsive, from what he could tell in their daily life, and with how easily he was riled up by Ryusei. Surprisingly, Chifuyu didn’t react, apart from a somewhat pained exhale.
Keisuke suspected that…
“Mh, keep going,” Mikey said again, as though he hadn’t just interrupted Chifuyu.
Chifuyu’s shoulders loosened defeatedly as he sighed, tight-lipped.
“About Toman, I…” the words seemed difficult to air out, and Keisuke could understand.
But if this was so difficult to say, then Keisuke would rather Chifuyu didn’t say it at all. Despite his first reluctance to let Chifuyu in, now… to imagine a Toman without him?
“…I’m thinking about l-”
“I really appreciate this café!” Mikey squealed again, focused on his dessert. “This parfait even has cream at the end!” he noticed before gulfing it down contentedly, happily ignoring Chifuyu’s issues with his lack of attention.
Keisuke gritted his teeth, looking over at his childhood friend. Seriously…!
He was doing it on purpose, wasn’t he?
Of course he was, Keisuke could feel it. The reluctance to let Chifuyu speak. The will not to even let it be pronounced.
It was annoying. And not just for the way Mikey decided to go about it. The reason Chifuyu wasn’t protesting, was because he knew it too. This was already a battle of will. Keisuke had taken a long time to notice it.
Mikey was being unfair. Keisuke had… complicated feelings, about that.
If Chifuyu wanted to leave Toman, then he must have had a good reason, right? Who was Keisuke to stop him from getting away from this life, especially with how murderous it seemed to have become with time. At the same time… he was selfish too, not wanting him to leave.
And Keisuke already knew that Chifuyu wasn’t going to leave. Mikey had said so. ‘Just because Mikey had asked,’ huh… Chifuyu’s will was already fading.
This time, Chifuyu remained silent until Mikey finished. He probably took the hint. Mikey was always this way, making people do what he wanted in the end. And Chifuyu… Chifuyu might be too kind.
Mikey was serious again. It was a seamless change, that surprised no one. It had been lurking in the back all this while, the darkness that this conversation carried despite the light tones Mikey had been bringing to it.
“To come back to what you were saying…” Mikey let go of his utensils, clenching his fists instead. “I won’t accept you leaving Toman. Never.”
It was almost threatening.
Chifuyu didn’t react.
It felt sad. Keisuke didn’t know why. Couldn’t pinpoint it.
“The parfait… it seems you finished it.”
Mikey leaned back, staring into the glass with melancholy.
“Sorry.”
When he apologized, it was as though he was talking about something else entirely.
Was it about his refusal to allow Chifuyu to be set free? Or was it…
“I couldn’t help it.”
There were words between the words, feelings that Keisuke had never been good at deciphering. Chifuyu didn’t say anything, only looking down, his lips pressing against each other in conflict. Mikey waited, impassively, or maybe sadly, as Chifuyu seemed to battle with himself in a way Keisuke had never seen him doing.
It seemed painful, almost.
“I understand,” it was almost torn out of his throat, with how he spoke it, giving in, an undertone of defeat to it. “I won’t leave Toman.”
Mikey smiled, satisfied.
“Right.”
Chifuyu wasn’t done. He went on, determined.
“However, I will not accept the position of Tokyo Manji’Kai’s first division captain.”
Mikey blinked, nodding with awareness.
“Another thing…” Chifuyu raised a finger. “Can I add just one condition?”
Just like that, the scene faded.
“Now I feel selfish, thinking about that day… If only I hadn’t forced him…”
Right. Chifuyu was… they said he died…
Keisuke gritted his teeth.
But one good thing came out of that day. Right?”
“You mean, Takemicchi, right? Chifuyu was always helping him from the start, huh…” Draken smiled. “That guy… he really is too kind for his own good.”
Kind…
Keisuke couldn’t even deny it. He’d seen it before. But he hadn’t realized that, to others, it was such an important piece of Chifuyu’s character.
It wasn’t amusing.
Mikey smiled.
“Speaking about kindness… Angry!”
“Right! That one’s a walking contradiction. He’s probably angry because of his brother’s stunts. I remember that time…”
And just like that, they went on talking. And Keisuke quietly listened, got pulled into their memories, as they excitedly retold the anecdotes they knew about their friends. They were a few Keisuke didn’t know all that well – “I was surprised when I saw Inui was actually a nice guy…”, “And did you see the dynamic he has with his friend, Koko? I don’t know if it’s sweet or sad…” “…Alright, let’s not talk about Kisaki, please. Not now.” – some people he knew all too well – “Kazutora… I used to say I’d never forgive him, but knowing about the curse, I’m not even sure he is at fault anymore… He was a friend in pain, and I couldn’t see it properly, couldn’t help him shoulder it like I promised I would.” “…Ryusei? Well, he definitely had his own moments…”, “Oi, don’t get carried away, Ryusei left before all the big things could happen!”, “Well, I can still talk about a friend, can’t I?” – and he listened to it all, trying to grasp at straws. What happened in the future? What exactly created this chaos, this ruined land that was now Toman? Only a handful of them were untouched. How could this happen?
Segments began and ended. Soon, it was the last.
It was about a guy named Izana.
“I have a lot of regrets, regarding Izana,” Mikey sighed. “I wish… We could have been a family, you know? No matter blood and all that stuff… He was someone Shinichiro loved. Someone Emma loved. Someone I was ready to love to. Gods… I just wish I could save them. I wish I could spare him the loneliness, that made him fall to his end like that.”
Mikey was the only one on screen. It must have been a few days since they started this. Draken seemed to be around, too. Mikey’s gaze turned melancholic.
“Actually… Even though Izana seemed to believe he was all alone. I disagree. He loved… and was loved in return. I’m sad he couldn’t realize it before he met his end, but… I’m just glad there was always someone for him, who, today, probably wishes he could have saved him just as much as I do.”
Mikey sighed. He looked at the camera with a soft smile.
“It’s the end, Takemicchi. I really hope this reaches you eventually. You know… I was very glad to have you with us, even if it was for a short while. I too, want to live happily, in a future where all of us could be together, leaving normal lives, having normal problems.”
His eyes were glassy.
Mikey was… crying?
“I guess I’m quite selfish, in the end, huh?” he chuckled. “You’ll probably think I am, with how much you yelled at me already. But even now, I don’t see any other option so that everyone can survive. I’ve always been the problem, now I know it. I need to end this curse now. But Takemicchi… I’m going to be even more selfish right now, okay?”
He took out something from his jacket. Keisuke flinched when he saw what it was. As if in a trance, unable to move, unable to look away, he stared just as they could hear a ‘Wait-’ in the back… as Mikey raised the gun to his temple.
He was still smiling. And his eyes were crying.
“Please…”
“Mikey, no, DON’T!”
“Please save us all.”
There was a scream, then a bang.
It all went back to black.
Notes:
So! :D
Moving on.At first I was concerned about making it fair for all the characters in the show and all-
And then I told myself. We're all here for Chifuyu, Baji and Ryusei anyway?
So what's wrong with skipping a lot of the stuff that doesn't relate to them? I'm so evil.
But if any part does interest you and you wanna know about it, just tell me! I'll make sure to include it.
Chapter 28: T: How many left until it's his turn.
Summary:
Kakucho just wants to save Izana, even if he's not the savior.
Sanzu has nothing left to care about.
And Baji ponders upon what it means to have seen a childhood friend die twice.
Chapter Text
Naoto frowned, irritated.
“Nee-chan forgot another one of her movies in my room,” he stated with annoyance. “Uh? Wait… That’s not one of ours?”
Hinata let herself fall in her bed, thinking about the lost love she had for a delinquent twelve years ago.
“Would Naoto believe me if I told him I’ve received a message from two of his future selves?”
Still, her brother might end up being a real badass, huh?
She giggled tiredly. Skipping an entire timeline was a pretty great feat, right?
When Atsushi woke up that damned morning, he prepared his swiss knife with anticipation. But there was something else, at the foot of his bed. Did his parents leave that here for him?
Atsushi ended up skipping school.
Draken laughed.
Just what the fuck.
If only it had just been Smiley’s new prank.
He was… actually going to die?
Izana didn’t know what this was.
Did the orphanage have a VHS?
…
Chifuyu was running.
“Baji! Baji, for fuck’s sake wake up!”
Ryusei shook his captain’s shoulders, but it was no use. Baji’s eyes had gone unseeing after watching Mikey – their fucking commander – kill himself on screen.
As he thought back about that last imagine imprinted into his brain, nausea came up Ryusei’s throat, unsettling his stomach. He was forced to walk away from Baji for a few second, painstakingly making his way to the trash can before throwing up.
Ryusei had witnessed a lot of things in his short life. Watching someone suicide with a fucking gun wasn’t one of them.
And Chifuyu had seen that, too. His nerves tore a laugh out of Ryusei. No wonder the blond had thrown up, not even mentioning all the other things he might’ve seen- or worse, what he remembered?
Ryusei still had no idea.
When he finally straightened, Baji had fallen on his knees.
Dammit, he was completely out of service, wasn’t he? Ryusei could understand. If he had seen Kojiro die in such a graphic, such a traumatic way… would he still be able of rationality?
The images flashed back in front of his eyes, as though the reminder hadn’t already made him sick just a minute before. Ryusei shook his head, screwing his eyes shut trying to make it go away.
Now was not the time to collapse.
More appeared on the screen.
“Huh… How does this shit work?”
Ryusei tried to focus on the new voice, calming his breathing, coming back to Baji to rub soothing circles against his back, hoping the other would pull himself together soon, however cruel that sounded.
They would have quite enough time to break down when this thing was done. Enough time to wonder why he had left, too.
A young man appeared on screen, with heterochromatic eyes and a scar on his face, very short black hair… Ryusei didn’t know him. The boy seemed skeptical about the tape.
“How do I know it’s filming? …Just imagine if Izana had actually tried his hand at this, he would have destroyed it in a fit. Huh. Do you see me?”
The unknown boy went to sit in front of the camera, frowning.
“The name’s Kakucho. For those who don’t know me, I’m Kurokawa Izana’s servant and Hanagaki Takemichi’s childhood friend. For those who don’t recognize either of these names… I’m sorry man, I can’t really do shit for ya at this point.”
It was said in a lackluster manner, and Ryusei had trouble getting a read on the other.
“Also. I really don’t know why this happened to me of all people. I was never a part of Toman. So that’s stupid. But I’ll still help, because… Because I want both Izana and Takemichi to live. So yeah, count me in. Although… I think I’ll be kind of useless, since I’m from Tenjiku, I never really interacted with Toman members much, I don’t know a lot. Hope my rather limited knowledge will still be useful.”
It turned out that Tenjiku was another gang, and that its leader, Kurokawa Izana, would die in the future. Ryusei didn’t learn a whole lot from that person, who seemed not to know what to speak about first.
“About your friends…” he said a bit awkwardly. “I remember the blue-haired and red-haired twins who were there when we reunited. There was also the blond vice-captain. The first were kinda cute? The blond was energetic, but didn’t smile a lot despite the optimistic aura he had.” There, he cracked a smile. “He really did say you fought with your kindness. That was amusing… but true.”
Ryusei was absorbed into the memory of that moment. It was rather vague, he didn’t have a lot of insight on the other’s thought, but he was able to confirm a few things.
Chifuyu was the one he had called a vice-captain. Ryusei shouldn't be surprised, of course Chifuyu wouldn't resign even after all the shit that had been hinted at. If he was with that Takemichi kid then it meant that the new captain was... or was this before Baji's... he shook his head, the knowledge fresh in his mind, too fresh.
There were also the Kawata twins, and Hanagaki Takemichi. It was a… rather cute team, to be honest, but Ryusei would never admit it to Chifuyu in that context. He wondered if Baji was seeing this as well, he probably wasn’t receptive to the tape at all at the moment.
Ryusei should focus.
This viewing was far shorter compared to the one before. Kakucho in fact didn’t have a lot to say.
And when the final segment came… Ryusei knew what to expect. His stomach rolled with uneasiness.
“I… I want to save Izana. He’s my king, after all. And I’d definitely prefer to do it alive, to be by his side for a long time to come… But seeing as I’m the cause of his death, indirectly, maybe it’s not that bad?”
The smile Kakucho gave the camera was uncertain, flickering and full of fear. But this was a man who had died to save dozens of other teenagers from another loyal man who would do anything for his king, the king of Kanto Manji-Kai, whoever that was, to make it out alive.
“Now that I think about it,” Kakucho chuckled with already more strength, finding comfort in irony, “that Sanzu, he and I we’re not so different. Except, he was ready to kill to save his king… but I couldn’t kill you, Takemichi. And I know I will never be able to, just like I alive will not be enough to turn Izana away from Kisaki… So I’m leaving this to you, in this timeline.”
The boy grinned, and it was sad.
“I’m sure that, if not my death, then your kind fists will bring him back to a family who loves him. Please also take care of him for me, alright?”
Kakucho had the kindness to leave the camera’s field of vision. Blood still splattered in front of the screen before it went dark.
Ryusei flinched. Baji, in his trance, did too.
Gods. Or whoever, whatever was out there. Who let these literal children find guns?
Who let them die like that?
He only recognized the next tape holder from Kakucho’s memories.
Sanzu Haruchiyo.
“To the Tokyo Manji-Kai.”
The familiar voice, even if older, more mature and colder than he remembered, jolted Keisuke out of his stupor.
Immediately, images went back to him, the sound, Draken’s screech, the disgusting spatter of- oh god.
It all hit him all over again.
This can’t be possible, right? Mikey’s alive, he wouldn’t have done that. This is all a bad dream! Mikey? Where is Mikey? I need to see him- tell me he’s alive! Oh my god, he’s dead. He’s dead, he killed himself he had a gun and he-
A sudden pain hit him at the back of his skull.
He took in air like a drowned man, all of a sudden he realized how he needed it. Finally. What? What happened?
Who hit him?
“I went gently so as not to break your skull,” Ryusei’s voice echoed, surprisingly clear and near. “Thank me later. You weren’t breathing.”
“What?”
“You were panicking, idiot.”
Keisuke breathed out, stunned. He turned back to the screen.
“This is…”
“Sanzu, right? The vice-captain of the fifth division.”
“Yeah,” Kesuke whispered. “That’s him.”
Keisuke would recognize those scars anywhere… Haruchiyo seemed to be an adult. It was strange, seeing his friends with a decade more. But Haruchiyo especially. The light in his eyes had gotten even colder with time.
Mikey…
“Focus, Baji,” Ryusei’s voice once again pulled him out of his darkening thoughts. “You can have all the time you want to grieve later. Remember, Mikey’s alive. You can check with him soon. For now… you’re the one who wanted to watch this thing.”
Keisuke blinked. Right. That was true. To understand what was happening to Chifuyu… And also…
“They said you were gone,” he remembered.
Ryusei’s eyes narrowed at the memory.
“Yeah. But I’m not dead in the future, they just said I left. We can figure it out later. The earlier we finish this shit, the earlier we can go back to Chifuyu. You said you were here because he asked you, right? He must be worried sick.”
Yeah…
Keisuke nodded.
“My name is Sanzu Haruchiyo. In the past, I was Akashi Haruchiyo. Today I am a part of a criminal syndicate called Bonten, which was founded by Mikey in the early 201°’s. In all honesty… I do not care about Toman, anymore. It would even be a lie to say I have cared for it, ever.”
Haruchiyo sighed.
“In the first place, I only ever followed two people. Sano Shinichiro and Sano Manjiro. Although, with the way things have turned out now… Both are dead. And if this tape is what permits them to survive and live worthy lives… I shall play your game. Let me tell you the story of Shinichiro, the weakest king… and the first time-leaper.”
Shinichiro was… a time-leaper.
For the first time, Keisuke learned about the details of the so-called curse casted on the Sano family.
The curse Mikey had only vaguely spoke about earlier. The reason for which Mikey had died… Not only Mikey, but Emma, Draken, and himself too… not mentioning that Takemichi.
A curse that was activated by the murder of a man, as it happened.
Haruchiyo spoke for a long time, kidnapping them into his memories as he talked. To Keisuke, it felt like a whole pan of his life had just been unveiled.
It explained a lot about Haruchiyo himself, too. It explained, too… the ice in his eyes, the depressed boredom in his expression, even as he spoke of what had been truly important to him.
“About the other members from Toman…” Haruchiyo sighed boredly during another segment. “I really don’t care about them. But I understand it’s an important part of the processus.”
He seemed to think it over. He ran a hand in his hair, gritting his teeth as he took a supposedly difficult decision.
“Alright. I’ll take you to them.”
When the screen lit up against, it was a bit wobbly. It wasn’t very close, either.
“D&D,” Haruchiyo narrated quietly. “Ryuuguji Ken’s shop. He’s the man with the black hair. Next to him is Inui Seishu. The one coming in is… Huh. I wasn’t aware that they were on friendly terms with Hanemiya Kazutora again.”
Keisuke looked at the figure coming in, and balked.
“That’s Kazutora?” he exclaimed in disbelief.
“Who?” Ryusei frowned. “The guy with the two discolored bangs over there?”
“Yeah, him. Wow. He… he really changed a lot.”
“Fourteen years,” Ryusei reminded him not unkindly.
Fourteen years. This was fourteen years in the future. Of course, Keisuke hadn’t forgotten. He hadn’t, he just…
He turned back to the screen.
“I’m glad you could come,” Draken’s voice had deepened with time. “The Kawata’s, Peh and Pah are already inside, with Mitsuya and Hakkai.”
“Oh… They’re finally back.”
Draken smiled bitterly, briefly.
“Of course. Seeing what happened to Mikey and Takemichi…” his lips trembled. “Even I can’t believe it. And the funerals have already…” he shook his head. “Anyways, everyone’s inside.”
Kazutora nodded soberly.
“I understand. But I won’t be staying long. My stupid boss’ in the hospital since last week.”
“Ah… I should have known, when I didn’t see him around. I thought he’d closed himself off to the world, he wasn’t answering my messages,” Draken’s eyes were worried as he asked. “How’s he holding up?”
“He went into burn out a week after we learned what happened. The doctors said it could be due to overwork or depression in some cases,” Kazutora chuckled, clenching his fists. “Personally, I think it was both. He might’ve taken it the worst.”
“I see. It can’t be helped then. Tell him we all wish him well, when you see him again. Kazutora,” Draken called Kazutora again, firmly, as he put a comforting hand on his shoulder, looking at him in the eyes. “He’s gonna be alright. I know that guy, Chifuyu’s not the kind of guy to be taken down so easily. Believe in him.”
Kazutora had tears in his eyes. He looked down, unable to hide it.
“Yeah. I know, he’s… He’s just fucking stubborn.”
“It’s gonna be alright. We’ll get over this.”
Both men walked inside, Haruchiyo unable to follow them discretely.
“I am surprised, I admit,” Haruchiyo confessed. “Not only because Matsuno was the least likely to form a bond with Hanemiya, but also because I didn’t expect them to care so much still. Though, Draken’s affection doesn’t surprise me. Now let’s go see Bonten.”
Keisuke didn’t know what to say.
First of all. When did a Toman meeting reduce itself to a handful of members, even if it was fourteen years into the future.
Second of all- what the fuck happened to Chifuyu? Burn out? Depression? Keisuke didn’t know shit about that!
Also, Chifuyu was Kazutora’s boss…?
Too much information.
“Ryusei, what’s a burn out?”
“It’s a condition that affects the human ability to function correctly… Ah, don’t take it as in it’s a fatal disease, though. It’s often due to overexertion, mentally and physically, and it can cause headaches or unconscious fits, it can even lead to emotional instability. My mother was under risk of going through burn out, so we looked it up at some point…”
“And Chifuyu will have that shit?”
Ryusei looked at him strangely.
“Chifuyu’s strong. For someone like him, a burn out would most likely be a warning more than anything, and he’s get back on his feet, as Draken said. Why are you complaining, when it’s apparently the only future in which Chifuyu’s actually alive to be sick?”
The words felt like a sharp thorn thrusted into his chest.
How could he forget about that?
Ryusei sighed.
“Still, it’s unfortunate that the only future he lives in, is one in which Mikey and that friend of his, Takemichi, die.”
Keisuke flinched, perking up.
“What?” he mouthed.
“Yes. They mentioned funerals, and they were speaking about what happened to those two… It’s only a hypothetical, but from what Mikey and Draken from the ninth timeline told us…”
The words were spoken quietly, as though their weight would become lighter because of it, easier to swallow.
Meanwhile, Haruchiyo went on. In front of him was a man with black strands of hair.
“Hey.”
“Mh? Oh, Sanzu, it’s you… I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you this month, honestly. What are you doing here? And what’s this?”
“Don’t worry, it’s not recording,” Haruchiyo lied. “I saw your boyfriend today. Inupi, was it.”
The other man’s face immediately closed off.
“He’s not my boyfriend. So you were in town.”
“Mh. Thought Mikey’d like to know how they’re faring.”
“Were you stalking them?” The man raised an eyebrow. “Actually, that’s surprising. You haven’t done shit like this since you became Mikey’s right hand man.”
Haruchiyo shrugged off camera.
“It’s an exception today. No matter what, Bonten will still run. Though if I had a suggestion for you…”
They seemingly stared at each other for a short while before Haruchiyo murmured coldly, though not entirely without sympathy.
“Since this is a turning point in Bonten’s history, you might actually use the opportunity to leave your life of reclused, and go back to your friends. You won’t have any other chance after that. I’m willing to be lenient for you because…”
“Look, Sanzu. I don’t need your pity. It was Mikey’s will that Bonten never contacted the remains of Toman again, for their own safety. Whether it’s me… or you,” he pointed an accusing finger at Haruchiyo, “we don’t have any right to involve them now. That hasn’t changed. So get back to your drugs or something,” he sneered, turning back to his computer.
There was a lengthy silence, before Haruchiyo turned away, the camera with him.
“As you wish. If you want my opinion, Koko… I don’t care about Bonten. So really… it’s in your hands, now. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
With that, he left.
They were soon back inside his apartment.
“The only guy I have some secondary regret about… it’s not really something I care about, either. He just.. I feel a bit of pity when I look at him. It’s Kokonoi Hajime, and from what I understand he had a pretty shitty childhood, being a criminal from an early age to save a girl. All he had left was the girl’s brother, and though they were friends, the situation seemed complicated. I don’t really understand him. If he still had one of the persons he cared for, why did he abandon them? He and I don’t think on the same wavelengths at all, I don’t get him. Not that I actually care, it’s just… Well. I wish him a happy ending in another world, I guess. But I’d rather get mine first.”
He looked at the screen sharply.
“Also, I may have forgotten to mention it but, about three weeks ago, Hanagaki Takemichi and Mikey both died. They fell from a building.”
It was said without emotion or any kind of feeling. But it echoed painfully in Keisuke’s chest.
So it was true.
Just as he thought that, he found himself absorbed in a memory.
There was a crowd. Haruchiyo was at the foot of a building, looking up.
“Mikey!”
There was a little figure standing up there. It was… Mikey?
Keisuke couldn’t recognize him. Not only had his appearance changed but… There was no life in that body.
They saw Mikey yelled, and fall.
But then, a black-haired man, all bloodied, caught him. They seemed to talk. Keisuke wanted to laugh. How stupid it was to have a comfortable conversation on the brink of death? The other guy also looked like he wasn’t going to live very long either.
Just as he expected but hoped not, it gave. They both fell. The screech coming out of Haruchiyo’s throat might as well have been Keisuke’s own.
Neither of them could see it well, in the end. Too many people around them. They fell too far.
But they were both dead anyway.
Thankfully, the memory stopped before he could see the corpses.
Huh? He thought distantly. Wasn’t Takemichi a blond guy? Weird… Obviously dye, right…
Mikey too, with his white hair, and the short cut. It was strange.
No stranger than seeing his childhood friend die twice on two separate occasions, but still.
He laughed at himself. What was he even thinking?
“My goal is simple. I want Shinichiro and Mikey to live. I don’t truly care about anything else. May it be Inui and Kokonoi, or Chifuyu and Takemichi, or even Kazutora and Baji… I have no care in that… anymore.
So I’ll just end it here. I don’t care who receives this, as long as it works. Also, if Hanagaki’s really listening to this… Don’t fuck up this time, okay?”
A gentle, dark-skinned hand went to cover Keisuke’s eyes as he heard the detonation.
A good ten seconds of silence echoed, with only their breathings, notably Keisuke’s incredibly loud one to his own ears, to accompany it.
Keisuke batted Ryusei’s hand away after that.
To be so weak, what was he doing?
I don’t want your kindness, he wanted to bark at Ryusei who was looking at him with pained eyes. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“For fuck’s sake,” Ryusei cursed, looking away – another kindness – as he gritted his teeth. “How many are left?”
That was the question, wasn’t it?
How many were left.
How many, until it was Chifuyu’s turn.
Notes:
This chapter was a monster! :D
I didn't have any idea for it! Apart from Chifuyu's passages of course.
I swear all the characters have so much deep inside that I look at them and then say 'no thank you bye'
Chapter 29: H: What would you give, for someone to be alive?
Summary:
Inui explains himself.
He's not the only one who feels like that.
Notes:
This chapter is quite long... it's not even the end of Inui's segments!
Here! More grieving trio for ya.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Manjiro’s birthday was coming along rather fast, Shinichiro mused to himself. He said he would spend it with his family, but the gang members were practically family now, so Shinichiro saw no difference.
No, what Shinichiro was truly worried about was…
He entered his workshop, sighing as he did. Hopefully that curse was nothing to worry about… but what happened to Haruchiyo was proving him wrong. Now, Shinichiro wasn’t a time-leaper anymore, he didn’t see how to solve future outcomes...
What if they all died?
What if Manjiro died again?
He couldn’t stop these worries from invading his mind.
The curse was real, he had confirmed that. But how far would it go?
His foot collided with something on the ground. He frowned, looking down.
A tape? How strange, he didn’t remember having left any of those in there. Did Wakasa come by? Or maybe it was Manjiro.
He picked it up.
“Wait. Isn’t that…?”
Nah, it couldn’t be. It looked far older than their family tape. And it was all dirty.
Well… It probably didn’t hurt to check?
“Chuu, are you joking?”
“I’d like to be joking, Ryusei. You don’t understand-”
“Damn right I don’t understand! Why did no one tell me that Baji was dead! Why did- Why did Chifuyu wait until I came ask for him to tell me he was dead too! What the actual fuck, what if I hadn’t found you!?”
“Then it might’ve been for the better.”
Ryusei was raging.
“What are you saying?” he questioned darkly. “Who fucking killed him, Chuu! Tell me!”
Chuu shook his head, even as Ryusei had grabbed his shoulders in a violent fit.
“If Chifuyu didn’t tell you, then I won’t-”
“Don’t fuck with me now, tell me the truth!”
How could Chifuyu decide this in his place?
“It’s too dangerous, Ryusei!”
How could he die just like that?
Hell. How could he have letters ready to explain his death away just waiting quietly on his desk all this time?
What shitty reality was that?
“I beg you, Chuu!”
Ryusei was desperate, for any kind of answer.
In truth, it was probably because he couldn’t believe it yet. He was looking for signs. Hints that all of this was a lie.
Chuu turned away as Ryusei literally begged him, on his knees.
“I… Look, even I don’t have any certitude. Chifuyu wouldn’t say anything about those details to me, we haven’t been in contact in eleven years. Maybe more. But…”
“But what? Please! Anything!”
Anything was better than this.
“I… I have my guesses. But Ryusei… you shouldn’t get close to Toman anymore, not with what’s been happening in court and-”
“Toman?” Ryusei whispered, unable to contain his fury and his grief. “You mean Chifuyu is- it’s because of stupid Toman?”
Chuu shook his head miserably.
“Please, don’t ask this of me, Ryusei. Don’t ask this of me…”
Ryusei grunted, covering his forehead with one hand. What even were those images that kept coming back since he started watching this thing?
He should stay focused!
And yet, he couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by these small headaches… these flashes that kept on disappearing, annoyingly. It reminded him of his dreams.
“Hello?”
The next person was the same young man Baji and Ryusei had seen earlier by Draken’s side, only with slightly shorter hair.
“Name’s Inui Seishu,” the young man introduced himself. “You can call me Inupi. I suppose I receive this tape because of Sanzu’s afterthought for Koko and I. Unfortunately, it’s not like it changed anything.”
The blond smiled tiredly.
“I’ve had this tape around for three years. I had totally forgotten about it after Koko left. To Tenjiku.”
There. It was already starting. Ryusei braced himself for another potentially painful memory.
He was more than right. As soon as the scene changed around him, he felt pain in his body… the physical kind.
“What’ll you do, Kokonoi!”
Uh? Wait. Wasn’t that Mucho’s voice?
Ryusei blinked. Yeah, Mucho was right here. Beating up the Takemichi kid and Inui. Which was why Ryusei felt pain. It was Inui’s.
“At this rate, these two will die, won’t they?”
What was Mucho doing? He was- he was threatening someone with these two? Killing? Who talked about death? That wasn’t Toman’s way of doing things.
From the corner of his eyes, Ryusei could see the boy called Kokonoi conflicted, desperate over the idea of his friend- his friends? Over them being killed. He was probably feeling helpless.
Ryusei too, was feeling helpless… Wait, no. That wasn’t him. It was the scarred boy, Inui. Helpless? Why? And also…
“Enough, Mucho! I’ll do as you say! So please let them go!”
Guilt.
Inui was feeling both helpless and a crushing guilt, over being the one who forced his friend to leave. Were it not for his weakness…
But Ryusei knew better. Mucho was not the fifth division’s captain for nothing. He was one of the strongest.
So how come he was threatening people with Toman uniforms on their backs?
It made no sense.
The scene changed.
“I have a reason why I wanted to revive Black Dragons,” it was Inui’s voice. “Koko… he’s always been with me wherever I go. Even when I’m such a useless person. He’s always there to support me. Because of that, I’d die for Koko.”
Inui then bowed in front of Hanagaki.
“And I, too, entrust my life with you.”
“That day was also the day I offered you my loyalty. It never did bring back Koko, but…”
Inui smiled, as Ryusei blinked the memories away.
“Perhaps it was for the best.”
Ryusei didn’t like the self-deprecating sound of that, especially associated with the self-hatred he had witnessed in the memories, but then again he wasn’t very close to this Inui Seishu. There wasn’t much he could do to stop suicidal strangers from running to their death… Especially when it probably already happened.
The reminder of what was going to unfold by the end of this person’s segment gave him a headache, constricted his chest. What if it were Kojiro sitting there?
What if it were Chifuyu?
He shook those thoughts out of his head before they gave him nausea. He looked in Baji’s direction, only to see him with an unreadable expression again… it looked mildly displeased. Chifuyu would be able to say more, but Ryusei wasn’t really a Baji-reader. All he knew was that Baji was somewhat back to normal, and that he was probably thinking about Mucho’s acts in the memories, or something in the vein of ‘who the fuck are these two’ which was just as likely.
Inui shifted in his seat.
“Now Koko’s probably happier… or if anything else, he’s free of me. Has been for a few years. I think the Kanto Manji is starting to turn into something else, something more serious.”
Ryusei seriously doubted that. Seeing as the Kokonoi they met in Sanzu’s segment was the same as this younger Koko, it wouldn’t be too much of a leap to guess that this Kokonoi Hajime had never stopped thinking about Inui. If Inui indeed was the ‘not boyfriend’ spoken of in Sanzu and Kokonoi’s conversation.
Moreover… That wasn’t the face of a happy man.
“I…” Inui stopped himself, biting his lips and looking down, away from the camera as he spoke with difficulty. “I don’t think he would fit well in such an environment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Koko is weak… he’s one of the strongest persons I know, he never abandoned me- well, I guess that’s not so true anymore. What I meant to say is… Koko has been a criminal since he was young. All for the sake of my sister. But he is a good person at heart. He would never have turned to crime had he not been forced by the bill… Koko is not a criminal by choice. He’s always been so kind… to me and to others. I don’t think a criminal place like that would fit him. I want him to be happy and free, and not just from me. So, Koko, if you hear this, from whatever timeline you’re in… Give up on me, give up on Mikey, and go live a good life.”
A tear slipped from the blond’s eye. Inui hastily wiped it away when the first drop fell from his chin.
Ryusei felt a bit sad for him. He didn’t really know why.
“Anyway,” he spoke again, more bristly, trying to regain some sort of composure. “I guess that’s my message. Stop trying so hard that you’re not living anymore. I could say that to more than Koko. Takemichi, that concerns you as well,” and he smiled, a bit more playfully. “From what I’ve learned in this tape, you’ve never caught a breath? Trying to save everyone from death. You know, the idea kinda reminds me of the mother cat who takes its youngs to another place one by one, always coming back but not finding the next one. I don’t know, it’s not even that similar. I just think you’re like that, always counting from one trip to another if you’re missing ducklings… Except it’s really weird to compare Toman to ducklings. Just imagine the commander with a beak and angry baby duck black eyes…” Inui shuddered. “Or Draken! No, Draken and Mitsuya wouldn’t be ducklings… They’d be reluctant mother-hens. I swear I can see it.”
Inui chuckled. Ryusei unintentionally formed that mental image in his head. Mikey as a duck… Who said scary? Ryusei couldn’t decide if he found it ridiculously cute or genuinely terrifying.
Baji was trying his best not to laugh, as it seemed.
“Can’t believe that actually works,” he huffed under his breath, but Ryusei still heard him.
Inui went on, following the same metaphor. Probably to distract himself from more serious topics.
“Hakkai is definitely Mitsuya’s duckling, specifically. I’d say spoiled. Have you seen the fight Hakkai and Angry got in against the Haitani Brothers during the battle with Tenjiku? Chifuyu really called them ‘spoiled little brother’! Yes, I heard that. I wasn’t that far… but mostly they complained to me about that during the drinking party after middle school graduation. Yes, that should have been forbidden. Gangs are forbidden anyway, I don’t see the issue here.”
Wow. Ryusei hadn’t taken Inui as the savage kind. Since the first time they’d seen him he had been nothing but tame and soft… Then again, the scarred blond kid that they’d heard off in Black Dragons currently was rumored to be a rather harsh person. So maybe the sass was just Inui’s inner beast.
Wait. Hakkai and Angry fought against the Haitani?
Again with this Tenjiku.
“Uh… that’s a freaky coincidence,” Baji muttered with a dark look over his face.
Ryusei stared at him quizzically.
“What is?”
“The Haitani and Mucho are both part of the S-62 generation,” Baji revealed, contemplating something. “What is this Tenjiku made of?”
The S-62 generation? Yes, Ryusei might have heard of it. But what did this have to do with whatever gang Tenjiku was?
“Then again, Chifuyu was right. Angry is also a cute duckling always protected by the bigger duckling Smiley. Mikey would be trying to lead the group with proud steps even though he’s just a baby… Ahem. Forget I said that. At any rate… I have no idea what kind of duckling Chifuyu is on daily life, there’s something missing, I feel like I don’t have the full picture on that side… But he absolutely turns into an excited baby fluffy animal whenever he talks about his manga. You don’t know how long he gushed about Takemichi’s romantic marriage proposal to Hinata-chan after it happened.”
That… was totally Chifuyu-like.
Ryusei tried to focus.
This was not the first time that this tape had hinted at Chifuyu and Takemichi being very close friends – who the hell was allowed to watch someone else’s marriage proposal without being the one declared to? One hell of a friend, obviously – and that Chifuyu trusted Takemichi whole-heartedly. However, Ryusei couldn’t help but wonder why. Chifuyu wasn’t even that close to the members of his own division yet, except for a select few including Baji and Ryusei himself.
He knew Takemichi Hanagaki was a time traveler… But the question remained, why did the boy join Toman. How much of the events described in this were his fault, and how much saved lives were from his acts? What would be Takemichi’s impact on the Tokyo Manji, that after his death people tried to bring him back and talked to him through a tape that might not even reach its intended destination?
At this rate, Ryusei wasn’t even sure if the tape was going to give them the answers they sought. Ryusei feared that their next option was to…
…to directly ask Chifuyu.
The idea created conflicts in him. This reminded him that they weren’t even supposed to be watching this tape. Then, was he supposed to act like he and Baji hadn’t seen anything? Lying to him when Chifuyu himself had refused to feed them any lie other than the occasional ‘I’m fine’? Ryusei didn’t want to break the trust between them. Not when Chifuyu was already acting like that. But if they asked Chifuyu about the tape, not only would it be revealed that they breached his privacy, but Chifuyu might not even be from the future! Would he even know? Ryusei didn’t know what he feared more, Chifuyu involving himself in this mess when it didn’t concern him, or Chifuyu coming from the future and…
Chifuyu being lost to them.
“Who are you?”
Ryusei’s breath caught in his chest when he remembered the words he had addressed to the younger over the phone. Terrible, terrible words. With an answer even more terrible.
“I’ll let you decide.”
Ryusei wanted to deny it.
“Speaking of Chifuyu… I wasn’t lying that time, at the church. Are you listening to me, Chifuyu?”
A church. They were in a church. And a battered Chifuyu was staring up at Inui from the ground, with green tired fury in his gaze.
“Matsuno Chifuyu. I wanted to fight you when you were in a better shape.”
“…Fuck!!”
Ryusei blinked and it was gone.
Inui smiled at the camera.
“I hope we can spar sometimes. I don’t think we ever got the occasion with all that had been happening. I’d ask you now, but the current you is very invested in his studies. We’re in high school now. By the way, Draken dropped down from school.”
“Not surprising.”
“Now he’s trying to put a motorcycle business together. D&D. I didn’t know what I was gonna do after high school either, and he suggested I work for him. I accepted. It’s kinda nice.”
Inui shook his head.
“But… I’m getting tired of life. If I wait too long, I fear I won’t be brave enough to finish this… That would be wasting the efforts of so many. It doesn’t matter if I die. I remember the next eight years. I’ve already lived my life. At least, it was enough for me… So don’t be sad, alright? Takemichi.”
He stood up, walked around. As he did, Ryusei observed the place he was in. It looked like an abandoned building of some kind.
“I’ve shown you this place before. Do you recognize it? This is where the first generation of Black Dragons used to hang out. Shinichiro… he was my hero.”
Baji choked.
Ryusei couldn’t blame him.
“I’ve striven to follow his lead for such a long time, I’ve lost my way in the middle of it. If feels like I was only a lost soul, ridiculously fighting against the waves of life. What happened with Toman… It was slightly different. The fights, the determination, the goals… It felt like my hero’s ideals had reincarnated. It was the third best time of my life, to be honest, despite the number of deaths and the amount of time I’ve grieved. I will always remember Toman fondly. And I want you all to be able to do the same, in better circumstances. And I know that, in this life, Koko will never come back. So, really… what’s stopping me?”
The smile was soft, with a sadness in it that its owner probably couldn’t realize.
“It’ll be alright. And who knows, maybe my sister will be able to survive in one of these timelines.”
A new memory. It was painful again. It burned. Air was lacking. Someone was carrying Inui on their back. Murmuring words of comfort as well as a name… ‘Akane-san’.
Later, it was a hospital.
“Koko… It’s too late. Akane is…”
Oh.
‘I wish I’d died instead.’
The memory faded.
Ryusei felt like he understood a bit better.
“It doesn’t matter if I die, as long as they live…” Inui repeated softly, with a contemplative look. “You know, this may look like the perfect timeline, with the most people alive, but to be frank… I’m not the one who thinks like that. I can count at least two others. And we’re not actually that many. I don’t say that to guilt-trip anyone, really. I’m just…”
His gaze was sad but stubborn as he looked up toward them.
“I want to make you understand that us, from the Bonten timeline, we have just as much interest in rewinding time, we care just as much as the rest of you. Even if it might not seem true. It’s an awful feeling, to be locked in a reality waiting endlessly for things to get better, in a timeline when it’ll never happen, all the while knowing that somewhere else, in the universe, there are other possibilities, that other selves of ours will get opportunities we only dream of now. And it’s too painful to dream of it. We want it so bad it hurts us when we see how impossible it is. That we’ll never see them again. But even though, I- we can’t help but dream and hope, for a world where at least one version of us, one version of them live together happily. This is what this tape is, for us. I hope… that you understand.”
Other memories made it through.
Ryusei was inside D&D. He just knew that. Inui was preparing to leave, but he hesitated. Instead, he walked to a room where another person was.
It was Draken.
“Hey,” Inui called softly to the seemingly sleeping man. “Hey, Draken.”
Inui knew Draken wasn’t actually sleeping. His head was thrown backward, his eyes closed, but his fist was clenched around a glass of alcohol.
“You should probably go home, now…”
“Huh… Inui. ‘That you? Didn’t hear you comin’…”
“You’re drunk.”
“Mh… Say, Inui. Have you ever asked yourself… what you’d give, for someone to be alive?
The question left Inui speechless. Even Ryusei didn’t know what to say.
“Someone… like Emma?”
Draken shrugged.
“Yeah. Or Mikey.”
“Mikey’s alive.”
“Doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”
Draken took a sip of his glass, sighing. Inui thought about it.
If he could bring back Akane… and Koko. If they could both be happy together, alive, without worry…
“I’d give my life for that.”
Draken huffed.
“Laaaame. Find something else.”
“You wouldn’t give your life so Emma could live?”
“She wouldn’t like that.”
Inui tilted his head.
“Would she know?”
Draken raised his glass to look at it, pensive.
“Depends. I guess if it’s another timeline… Nah, she probably wouldn’t.”
Inui raised an eyebrow.
“In another timeline? Then what would be the interest?”
Draken smirked.
“Well, at least she’d be alive with one of those… hic. Mikey too… You know I really liked that guy…”
“That’s enough, Draken.”
“Shut up, lemme finish my glass at least. I won’t bother you after that… I just… Don’t get me wrong, al’ight? If I could, I would. But I know… if I die, it’s only gonna worsen things. An’ if I die… who’s gonna hold drunk pity parties with Chifuyu, Mitsuya, and ya? You think you could handle yourselves?”
“Never. We’re all gonna end up dead on the side of a bridge, people are gonna ask why we’re naked.”
Draken laughed, lacking air.
“Right. Right. So, see? Even if I died, it would do nothing. So we just gotta live in there… hoping maybe life’s better elsewhere.”
Draken would sacrifice his life for Emma and Mikey to be happy, if only he could. But then, Draken knew that neither would be happy. He also knew that there would be more than one person out there who would also wish they could sacrifice their lives so he could live. A vicious circle, this whole damned thing was. Ryusei thought he could understand. Inui had more trouble… he did understand, of course… but who would care for Inui?
He voiced none of that.
“Think whatever you want. Both you and Chifuyu, you’re weird about this stuff. Timelines, what else…”
Inui went to work, carefully collecting Draken from his crumpled position as he chuckled meanly.
“Chifuyu? He’s worse than me!”
“Yes, yes, now come here…”
Before Ryusei could process everything, a new memory started.
It was a bar. They all seemed a bit older. Inui’s hair was longer, Draken's roots were turning black.
“Is everyone here? Let’s go back, alright? Before one of you drinks themselves to death,” Mitsuya quickly counted his friends, puddled all over the wooden floor. “Let’s not bother the owner anymore…”
Inui frowned.
“Aren’t we missing one?”
Mitsuya looked around, a tiny bit tipsy. Thankfully no one was supposed to drive back.
“You’re right. Where the fuck is Chifuyu?”
Inui sighed.
“Go take the others home. I’ll look for him.”
“Right… Be careful, though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Chifuyu fully drunk before.”
The blond raised an eyebrow.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Mitsuya shook his head… then seemed to regret it.
“Don’t you know he’s a mad one… Just be careful where that goes, alright? He might actually be worse than Draken, in October.”
Inui found this hard to imagine.
Ryusei could guess that this was a drinking party. Maybe it had started as a celebration? It was in the back of Inui’s mind, Mitsuya had achieved something or that… Ryusei actually didn’t know if he wanted to see Chifuyu drunk. It was very weird imagining it, for once, since in his time they were all still minors. On another hand, while Ryusei really wanted to get possible drunken anecdotes from his friends when they were older, the theme of the recent memories didn’t let him expect anything remotely good.
Inui adventured in the cold air of the night. Thankfully, the moon was shining bright. It was easier to look for someone this way. Chifuyu couldn’t possibly have gone far.
Somehow Ryusei doubted that.
He was right. It took about twenty minutes, and it was a pure stroke of luck that they even found him.
“What the fuck.”
Playing around on the edge of a small edifice. Not that small, actually.
“Chifuyu! What are you doing up there?”
Inui was kind of worried.
Ryusei was fucking freaked out.
Chifuyu looked innocently dazed. He beamed cutely when he noticed Inui.
“Ah! Inu-pi! Whatcha doing ‘ere!”
“That… should be my question.”
“I know! You came to play, too!”
“Really not, please get off carefully…”
But Chifuyu didn’t seem to listen to Inui… that or he had selective hearing. His arms were held out on either side of his body, playing equilibrist on the very edge of the wall.
“It’s suuuper fascinating, you know?”
Inui sighed, getting ready to catch Chifuyu if he fell.
“What is?”
Chifuyu smiled knowingly, closing his eyes for a second as he hopped forward, scaring Ryusei even further.
“Am I gonna fall? Am I not?”
“You find this funny?”
“Nah! I find this fascinating! ‘T’s not the same!” Chifuyu pouted.
Which, Chifuyu would never do that on any other day.
“’Course, I won’t fall. I’m a cat dad! Cat dads don’t fall.”
“Cat dads can very much die so please-”
“Oh, I know they can! I had a friend cat dad, you know? We were co-dads!”
Inui paused. When he looked back at Chifuyu, it was with a new gaze.
“He’s… not there, anymore?”
“Mh!” Chifuyu said a bit too cheerfully, too casually. “Sometimes I forgot you weren’t there yet. He chose my cat kid’s name. Peke-J! Before it was Excalibur, and it was good too, but Peke-J didn’t wanna. Ya know we were neighbors?”
Inui frowned in confusion.
“You and… the cat?”
Chifuyu laughed.
“No, silly! Me and the other cat-dad! Name’s Baji-san! Wanna go say hi?”
To the dead guy? No thanks, Inui thought.
Ryusei shivered at the casual approach of his captain’s, of his friend’s death.
How must Baji feel, witnessing this memory?
Inui’s eyes narrowed.
“Do you wanna go say hi?”
Chifuyu seemed to think it over, balancing himself over one foot.
“I’d like to,” he said, freezing Ryusei’s blood. “But he wouldn’t like that. He’s suuuuuper strong, you know? He’d kick my ass if I came to say hi too early!”
“I see…”
Chifuyu remained silent for a short while… jumping from the wall to a bridge.
“Mh… But you know? Baji-san, he’s also suuuuuper kind… So I don’t really care if he beats me up. I just know Baji-san wouldn’t want me to die. Takemicchi wouldn’t want to either, ya know? So I don’t wanna make them sad, even if they don’t see it. And you know? There’s a deal with suuuuuuper kind people…”
Chifuyu stopped hopping, precariously standing in a high place as he looked down on Inui. His smile was no-longer childlike, nor was the moonlit glint in his eyes.
Ryusei shuddered.
“They’re also suuuuuuuuuuper selfish.”
Inui froze.
Chifuyu went on, as though unaware of Inui’s turmoil, despite the twistedly pleased glint in his eyes as they shown, falsely blue.
“Baji-san, Ryusei, Takemicchi, Mikey… Koko as well… And guess who else? You. You’re all the same. Kindness is selfish. They all think what they’ll do will obviously turn out for the best for others, without even caring for the same ‘others’’ feelings. Isn’t that selfish. You’re like that too… If you could, you’d die like the suicidal idealist that you are. And you know who would suffer? Draken, Koko. Poof! One more dead. Isn’t it nice? All of this kindness… blowing up the family!”
Chifuyu raised his arms to the sky, as if presenting something grand, seemingly ecstatic. But the enthusiast was cold, his eyes were empty.
“But you know what? Your kindness opened my eyes… I don’t wanna be kind. I don’t wanna be selfless. If this is what good is… It’s the good that made my mother cry every night when I was a kid, and it’s the good that got Kazutora-kun in ten years of prison. This is the good I looked up for when I was young, even when I despised it so hard. I thought, if they can do it, I can too!”
He turned back to Inui.
“But your good is bad. So I’ll show you my bad. I’m gonna live ‘till I’m old, I’m gonna spit on all of your faces when you die and leave me alone, because that’s all you kind know how to do, leave us alone, and then I’m gonna laugh hard because I’ll have made them happy, look, I’m alive! But it was a shitty existence. So it’s my bad. And your good.”
“Chifuyu… You’re not making sense anymore.”
“Because I’m stuck here while they’re all going the other way, wherever they go, they’re free, and they’re so stupid and I can’t even slap them hard… I’m stuck here, and they’d be mad if I escaped. So I won’t. It’s my version of good. It’s a selfish good. I decided. I want to live! That way… I can judge them all in the afterlife, if it even exists. Takemicchi too, I’ll judge him. I’m sure as soon as he’s back, he’ll be leaving again. And then, all of us, we’re going to have to say ‘yes, if you want, have a nice trip in time, don’t worry about us!’ Like he actually worries about us. He does. He’s selfless like that. Selfless is so selfish. And he can do that, but I can’t, I’m stuck, you’re stuck too, and all people like us can do is nod our heads and accept what’s fallen on our heads.”
Chifuyu wasn’t smiling or laughing anymore.
“That’s so stupid. But you know the worst?”
His arms slowly fell down by his side. Inui couldn’t understand shit to what he was saying, at all. Takemichi was here, he was fine wasn’t he? And Koko was the one who walked away, Inui was still here miserable.
But he felt like there was something he’d long overlooked in Chifuyu until now. Despite the concern, he waited, in silence, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Chifuyu was crying. And he beamed to the moon, it was a bit sad.
“I know it’s stupid, and I know it’d only cause suffering. But if I could, I would absolutely give everything I have to have them alive, anywhere, it doesn’t matter. If I could have died instead… no matter how horrible I find it, I can’t help it, I still would have.”
…
“Isn’t it the same for you?
Chifuyu jumped to the other side.
“Chifuyu!”
Ryusei felt his heart leap in his chest at the side… until he realized it was just water.
Inui fished Chifuyu out as the boy laughed.
“Fuck, you gave me a scare…”
“Should I dye my hair back to black?”
“I don’t care, Chifuyu… come home with me, alright? Everything’s gonna be fine.”
“…I don’t believe you!”
It was said happily.
“Right… Gods, Mitsuya and Draken were right, you’re horrible.”
The memories faded, and Ryusei was left staring at Inui as he left.
“Chifuyu was right, in the end… I am a suicidal idealist.”
It probably wasn’t meant to be heard, but they still heard him, straining their ears.
The segment ended.
Notes:
You cannot deny that Chifuyu, Draken and Inui make a great grieving trio.
Comment, please, feed my soul, bye!
Chapter 30: A: To die a winner... (or live a loser)
Summary:
Baji ponders.
Finally the question comes: who is their current Chifuyu?
Inui invites someone in!
Chapter Text
“Yo, Kazutora,” Draken greeted. “Didn’t know you were still around.”
Kazutora swallowed.
He didn’t know how he ended up here. Staring at Draken from behind a transparent barrier, in a room he used to stay in every time Baji would come and visit him when he was younger.
He didn’t even know how Draken ended up here either.
That was a lie, though. He did know. He knew that if was all Kisaki Tetta’s fault, for either of their situations. It started all the way back to middle school, when Baji died. Maybe it was even before, to Shinichiro’s death. Then, Taiju had died, Emma too, and Draken killed. Kazutora still didn’t know if it was because of Kisaki’s intricate manipulation or if it had been a blind vengeance after Emma’s orchestrated death. From then, it really all went to shit. When Kazutora got out of prison, he was picked up by Chifuyu, and it turned out that Mikey had gone to shit too. He might have died or survived if Chifuyu hadn’t. The point is, Kazutora wouldn’t be here.
Kazutora wouldn’t also be here if Chifuyu hadn’t died. And Kazutora knew how Chifuyu died. He’d heard it. He’d fucking seen it because of that twisted- so he knew how. And that led him to sitting in front of Draken right now.
Kazutora did know how he ended up here. He just couldn’t process it.
He simply couldn’t pinpoint where it all went wrong. Or maybe he was in denial.
“So? Why’re you here?”
Kazutora didn’t know how to say it.
He didn’t even know how to say it to himself.
For fuck’s sake, he hadn’t even been able to think the words to himself since that damned 15th of November!
He breathed out slowly.
“Toman fell last month. I thought you might want to know.”
Draken sucked in a breath. He took the information, remaining silent for a few more moments. After then, he spoke.
“That’s… good news,” he admitted, his shoulders falling down.
His features were lost, as though he didn’t really know what to do with himself now that the family he had spent his life fighting for was gone, even though it had long turned into a pit of snakes.
“What about Mikey?”
“He’s been gone for years. No one’s heard of him, not even the police.”
“I see… I see,” he repeated, sounding almost relieved.
He shook his head.
“I didn’t think you’d stay involved in our shit after finding out what it’s become,” Draken smiled a bit bitterly. “I thought you’d want to throw up if you saw what happened to Toman. What decided you to stay around?”
Kazutora stared down, unable to meet his gaze.
“It’s… Actually it’s- because of Chifuyu.”
Draken raised an eyebrow.
“Chifuyu?”
Kazutora nodded. Memories swirling before his eyes.
“Yeah. He’s the one who explained everything to me, and… thanks to him I was able to help.”
He took a deep breath, under Draken’s almost uncomfortable scrutiny. The other man was giving him all his attention. Kazutora thought he could do it. Instead, his croaked voice came out broken.
“Chifuyu was the one who fell Toman,” he stated, fighting to keep out of his mind the last images he had left of him.
Draken looked surprised, but also relieved. He almost smiled, Kazutora could tell when he raised his eyes slightly.
“Chifuyu, huh… That guy. I knew he’d never stop fighting. He’s someone you can always count on, isn’t he. I’m glad. How’s he been, since the last time I saw him?”
Neither Chifuyu nor Kazutora had ever visited Draken before… mostly to separate themselves from him in the eye of Kisaki, who had the vision of an hawk, always watching. Of course, Draken had been left in misinformation. The last time he had seen Chifuyu, the man had still been a high-schooler.
To think the last image that Draken had of them were young, cute middle-schoolers with bleached hair and eyes full of emotions. To think that the images in Kazutora’s mind were tired eyes hiding their feelings and thoughts, black hair and paling skins as the end came closer.
How’d Chifuyu been?
“He outgrew his hair dye,” Kazutora blurted out. “Hanagaki did, too. Chifuyu looks good in a suit.”
“That guy looks good in anything.”
“Hanagaki doesn’t look good in a suit.”
“I’d have guessed that,” Draken chuckled.
Kazutora didn’t know what he was doing. This wasn’t what he was supposed to say. But now, all the little things started piling up, tumbling out of his mouth as though chasing freedom.
“He’s gone softer. And he’s a fucking perfect poker face. He didn’t develop that much of a taste for drugs, smokes or alcohol despite what Toman’s been doing. He looks at it with disgust, actually, alcohol’s the exception sometimes.”
Kazutora swallowed.
“He’s still as loyal as ever,” he choked out. “And he’s goddamn smart, even more now than before.”
“You just didn’t realize because you’ve always seen him around Baji,” Draken pointed out. “He never seems to think straight enough when Baji was in the equation.”
Oh god, Baji.
“He still got a grudge,” Kazutora went on, powering on, the words coming out almost against his will. “He never stopped hating Kisaki. He’s been wanting to say hi.”
“Give him my thanks and say hi for me, then.”
Yeah, Kazutora would do that. To an empty-
“He grew up to be a really nice adult. Good looking, not even trying and he’d have anyone, he’s got no friends but the original Toman members, and he’s always looking at me disappointedly when I smoke. He tried to keep an eye on the others and spare them from Toman’s fall but it wasn’t that easy.”
Draken was listening patiently, even though Kazutora was giving less and less relevant information.
He must have sensed something. Damn those instincts.
“He knows how to do everything now, and he’s gone really quiet. He’s become somewhat friend with a policeman lately,” the words on his tongue repainting memories, “he’s very responsible, and more prepared than I could ever be. His mother hasn’t seen him in years, and he’s a bit sad because he had to leave his cat at hers when he left- he’s a cat guy. He’d work with pets if he could, I swear he loves them more than humans, and he might just be right. He’s realistic but he never gives up and…” And…
And…
“And he’s dead, Draken,” Kazutora cried as the condemning words tore themselves out of his very heart, leaving it bleeding and raw. “Kisaki tortured and killed him and now he’s dead and there’s not even a body left, how is that fair?”
Chifuyu is dead.
Kazutora broke down. Draken watched him, eyes wide as he processed the information. Chifuyu was dead. Chifuyu, the cute blond blue-eyed boy who always followed Baji and supported the rest of them as easily as he breathed, was gone because of that bastard. Another one.
The little boy from his memories, all but gone.
Kazutora spoke through his sobs.
“Now Kisaki’s on the run. If there was a trial, your own charges might be lessened. And I’m…” he breathed to calm himself enough to laugh, “I’m in the witness protection system. Chifuyu put me in. I didn’t even know. He always… tried to protect me, to protect everyone... even that stupid Hanagaki... Someone like that..."
"Oi."
Kazutora raised his eyes to meet Draken’s, dark and sad and a bit wet too, but with a solemn face as he said.
“Always remember, Kazutora. Chifuyu died a winner.”
Kazutora’s breathing hitched.
Chifuyu died a winner.
Chifuyu won.
It didn’t attenuate Kazutora’s rage and grief in the slightest. Not at all.
But god knew it would be enough consolation to Chifuyu himself. And knowing that Chifuyu had been somewhat satisfied, in his last moments, was enough to bring momentary peace to the chaos in his chest.
Chifuyu had gone down a winner.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“And I to yours,” Kazutora ended up saying.
Chifuyu had been everyone’s friend.
Draken nodded with tired eyes.
“How’re the others?” he asked, distracting him.
“Smiley got Angry out of this shit a long time ago, so he’s fine, but Smiley himself was probably arrested. I don’t imagine him not resisting, but he’s not stupid. Hanma’s on the run, but we have a trace of Kisaki. The police’s on it. I don’t know much about Black Dragons…Kokonoi’s in for it if people find proof of what he’s been doing for Toman. Inui will probably go down with it. The main trial was done last week. It went fast. The case’s almost close now.”
“I see. And Mitsuya? And Pah and Peh?”
“Pah and Peh were arrested, without much fanfare, and interrogated. I don’t know how it went. Hanagaki’s in prison. Mitsuya… he disappeared a few months back, Chifuyu thought he might be…”
Draken nodded, twice, and Kazutora didn’t say more.
“I see,” the man said, with difficulty. “I see.”
It was difficult to hear of the death of someone who might’ve been a brother.
“How are his sisters?”
“Mh. Chifuyu asked me to check on them regularly. One of them’s still in high school, and a minor, but thankfully the elder, Luna, will be able to keep custody when Mitsuya is declared… if he is, of course. Apparently, Mitsuya’s always tried to ensure they would do well, far away from Toman’s influence. They should be fine."
"Alright... thanks, Kazutora. And… how’ve you been?”
How was Kazutora? How was he supposed to know? Chifuyu and Baji were both dead, what was he supposed to become now?
Chifuyu was dead.
He had nowhere left to go.
In the last two years, they’d become such friends that Chifuyu had become the home Kazutora had never had after Baji. It had been a small warmth, born in the middle of fire and blood, and cold violence and guns, all around them, but it was undeniable that it was there, it had existed.
Now there was nothing left.
And Kazutora had no memory of him, no keepsake but the clothes on his back, and the few belongings Chifuyu had gained in ten years. Chifuyu had never been one to take much place, not after Toman went on the dark path. He had become a minimalist.
Kazutora looked at the ceiling. What was he supposed to do now?
“I don’t know.”
Draken remained silent a few moments. The time of this visit would soon be up.
“You know… maybe you could go and visit the Matsuno’s or Baji’s mom. I’m sure they’d be happy to see you despite everything.”
See them?
Kazutora had killed on of their sons, and the other had just died anyways. What was he supposed to do there?
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Get closure, Kazutora. If I could go out, I’d go to Shinichiro’s grave, and I’d talk to grandpa Sano.”
Right.
Kazutora might be selfish… but he was ready to fight for any scrap left of them.
He thought about it.
“Maybe I-”
Before he could finish, he cut himself, flabbergasted as something popped just in his line of sight, something black and light falling quickly toward them.
He caught it, by instinct. It fell just in the middle of them both.
They both stared, with wide eyes, weirded out, at the tape in Kazutora’s hands.
“What the f-”
Draken cut Kazutora off with a significant shake of the head, eyes staring bullets in his as he gestured for him to keep silent.
Right. The guards. They’ll take whatever this was if they had the suspicion that this had been exchanged between them… however they could have done that.
“Time’s up,” someone said behind Draken.
Draken stood up, and Kazutora hastily hid the tape in his pocket.
“It was nice seeing you again,” Draken said with a small smile.
Kazutora nodded.
“I’ll come back if I have more news.”
“Come back any time you want. It’s always good talking to an old friend.”
Then, Draken was gone, and Kazutora found himself walking back… home. He took the tape out of his clothes and inspected it.
Whatever the fuck was that?
“I don’t know what to think.”
Keisuke turned toward Ryusei, his mind kind of blank and buzzing.
“What are you talking about.”
“About Chifuyu, obviously,” Ryusei retorted without addressing him a glance.
Keisuke narrowed his eyes.
“What’s there to think about?” he bluffed.
He felt uncomfortable with the subject. Truthfully, he had a lot to think about Chifuyu right now. About himself too, and Ryusei. And he knew what he was thinking of it.
Ryusei was gone. And while it might be a good thing in the sense that Ryusei wasn’t dead, from what he could tell, and was away from all the machinations surrounding Toman in the future, Keisuke also felt wrong at the idea of being without this reassuring, even if frustrating, presence.
But Ryusei being away was only the top of the iceberg. And they both knew that.
Keisuke himself… Well. He went and got himself killed somehow. And he wasn’t even surprised. With how himself had been like just… just about a year ago, now that he thought about it. With how he had been feeling like back then, it didn’t seem implausible for him to take fatal risks and lose to chance.
But he never thought that something like that would…
He never really thought about what his death would do to others. But thinking about it, it wasn’t only Chifuyu, right? His mother would cry. She would never end her tears. How could he do that to her?
And Chifuyu. Just thinking about the state he had left Chifuyu in, without any idea how long had passed since his eventual death, it had enclosed his heart in a cage of thorns. In those memories, the boy had a smile that Keisuke had rarely seen before, if ever. A childlike child, full of wonder, happiness and innocence. A look that Chifuyu had gotten while speaking of Keisuke himself. And while he couldn’t understand how he could give something so amazing to others around him, especially someone already as strong as Chifuyu, he knew that it was something precious that he had been able to offer to his friends. Call it an instinct.
But that smile had just been an illusion of time long passed. That innocence was a façade to dissimulate the true reaches of his dead in the forlorn soul. The twisted glint in his eyes, the satisfied soft smile that had somehow managed to seem accusatory, clawing guilt under Baji’s skin as the boy looked down on both he and Inui.
The innocent wonder from before, the childlike happiness of having someone who would always be there, to be happy with, in a warm bubble, only a devastated ruin resurfacing with the alcohol. A memory Chifuyu had been clinging to. Hurting himself in the process.
What for?
Chifuyu said he’d live, and that should have been a relief to Baji. Yet, something cold had grasped at his heart. Because the words had been said with such bitterness, with a cold humor directed at fate itself, at ghosts that couldn’t hear him, in a world in which Chifuyu felt alone with people that would never give him more than a single glance before leaving him alone.
It was a world in which Chifuyu had matured more than one should at such an age, an adult without being one, with the knowledge of how much it hurt to be left alone and lonely, aching for past warmth… yet at the same time, yearn with the want of a little boy, something that had been taken away from him all too soon. Might it be a friend, or that innocence that he had taken so long to find.
Chifuyu had sounded like living was the same as dying, and he was only going through it to fulfill someone else’s whim. Like it meant nothing to him. And there was that understanding as he looked upon Inui, a cold understanding that had pierced Keisuke… because he, too, felt understood by that accusating gaze.
There had been contempt in it.
Keisuke knew what to think about it. He knew he should be glad, happy that his friend lived, even happy to have left such a mark on someone when he had thought his whole existence was so hurtful, meaningless and forgettable. But he didn’t feel an ounce of that. All he could think about was the longing, half discernible in the features of the one that adored him so obviously now. A longing adorned with something like hatred.
A disdain that Chifuyu had never once turned toward Keisuke.
Oh, Keisuke knew what to think of it.
Sacrifices were supposed to compose a better future, he reminded himself. Then he looked at this one future, made upon a pile of deads he couldn’t yet imagine, and he looked at the people living in it. Remembering Inui’s words.
“It’s an awful feeling, to be locked in a reality waiting endlessly for things to get better, in a timeline when it’ll never happen, all the while knowing that somewhere else, in the universe, there are other possibilities, that other selves of ours will get opportunities we only dream of now. And it’s too painful to dream of it.”
“We want it so bad it hurts us when we see how impossible it is. That we’ll never see them again.”
Keisuke had hurt another one of his friends. Had forced him into a reality that he could never escape, unless he ended himself.
And Chifuyu, so good, as Keisuke had just started to truly behold, would never do that to Keisuke. And he lived, stuck.
“I’ve already lived my life. At least, it was enough for me…”
But he lived in such a way that it became a task, to lead a fulfilling life. A last purpose, a pretext to die better later on.
What sort of life was that?
Keisuke knew guilt when it sank its teeth around his heart.
But he’d never experienced that sort of guilt.
“You know well what I mean, Baji,” Ryusei scathingly replied, and Keisuke could only look away, because the guilt ate away at him, and he was unable to hold that gaze without crumbling under it.
Ryusei clicked his tongue in frustration, pulling at his hair lightly.
“It’s- argh. What was that even supposed to be? If you listened to him it almost sounded like- it sounded like you did it on purpose!”
Keisuke knew perfectly well what Ryusei was referring to. He frowned, and the guilt grew stronger. But Ryusei didn’t stop there.
“And he was so different. Like a shell. But at the same time it was kind of the contrary and... I don't know what to think of this future. I don't even know if the Chifuyu we saw just now is meant to show us a good or a bad future. Shit, this is the only future in which he’s even alive-” Keisuke flinched, “and I don’t even know what to make of it!”
Ryusei had started pacing while Keisuke wasn’t looking. He was muttering, it was so low Keisuke was almost unable to hear it.
“It’s like he’d grown into an adult, but he still looked so young, and yet it was like he knew everything there is to know and- is that shit he said supposed to be a good thing? He looked stronger than ever but then- it was the most weakness we’ve ever seen from him- for fuck’s sake why was I not there? Why the fuck did I leave? I could be there and I’m not what are you doing future me!? Don’t tell me that Chifuyu is the one that’s here with us right now…”
Keisuke stopped listening after that, his breath hitching at the words.
Somehow in all this chaos, he had entirely forgotten to consider what it meant for them to have found this tape in Chifuyu’s possession.
Chifuyu was… likely a time traveler as well. How come Keisuke hadn’t even thought of it?
To think their Chifuyu had been… replaced? Could that really be said? Not really. Keisuke didn’t understand much of all this bullshit timelines and all, but basically it was still Chifuyu, right? They had the same memories, but Chifuyu’s would just be a little more ahead than theirs… And he’s also potentially be aware of a whole other timeline that none of them three had lived through yet. Right. That would explain Chifuyu’s behavior these past few weeks far better than just ‘I’ve found a mysterious tape with lots of death predicted in it and I don’t know what to make of it’.
Still. That meant Chifuyu knew of the future. Was part of the future, Chifuyu was from one of these shitty futures and… he probably hadn’t seen either Ryusei or Keisuke in a long time. Keisuke didn’t know what to feel about that. He replayed all their past interactions of the last two weeks in his head over the next few seconds, in repeat, over and over again, as though he could see something, anything that would prove that this Chifuyu had not been the Chifuyu they spoke and joked with just days before. But nothing.
Nearly nothing.
Chifuyu had been tired. He had been softer. Smiled less. Still knew them more than he seemed to know himself. But unreadable now most of the time.
The differences were there. It was still Chifuyu. But it was like… something had happened to him that they didn’t know about. Couldn’t know about.
It wasn’t a stranger, Keisuke thought with relief, yet it was a friend that they had failed to help.
Because Chifuyu had needed help, it was clear now that Keisuke had been faced with one of his future selves. He had needed help and he had hidden himself away instead, for an entire week. He had somehow managed to get himself into trouble that Keisuke would never have imagined even, and had his walls so high up that Keisuke had frustratingly hit it with his fists without getting through nor succeeding in understanding why they were there all of a sudden.
Now that he thought about it, it probably started that day. The 16th of November. When Chifuyu had had a panic attack in the middle of the street, without Keisuke nor Ryusei being able to do anything to help him. Gods, Chifuyu had struggled against their hold. Where the fuck did he come from for him to be like that?
Keisuke wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But he needed to know.
Was Chifuyu from the future they saw? The eighth timeline, the so-called Bonten future? Sure, Keisuke had seen Chifuyu as a nigh-adult: someone strong and reliable in his moral principles and balance, never faltering in his goals, and being such a good person that he took selflessness to a whole new level. Keisuke should be proud.
Except that, when imagining that this Chifuyu might be theirs… Keisuke desperately prayed that it was not the case.
The screen lit up again, interrupting Ryusei’s pacing and Keisuke’s sinister train of thoughts. This time, Inui wasn’t alone.
“Hello. I’m Souya… Inui, are you sure about this?”
“Yeah, I swear there’s no danger… And I’m not lying.”
“So I just need to talk to it…?”
“Yeah. About whatever you want.”
It was Angry, sitting next to Inui in what looked like Draken’s shop, from what Keisuke had already seen of it. Smiley was talking animatedly with Draken in the background.
“Okay… No, I don’t know if I can do that.”
Inui chuckled.
“I knew you’d be like that. It’s fine. I’ve a list of questions here,” he said, holding a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. “You just need to answer it to the best of your ability.”
“You wrote these?”
“Nah. It’s one of the people who had the tape before me. They thought it’d be fun. And then the ones that came after kept adding more questions to it.”
“Nice. Show me?”
Inui held the paper out of reach.
“I’d rather read them. Answer spontaneously. Maybe if you have any idea after, you can add a question too! Because I’ve seriously got no idea.”
“A list of mysterious questions coming from mysterious people, and you won’t tell me where this comes from…” Angry rolled his eyes, “and this thing is supposed to be a magical tape. I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it or not, honestly… Ready?”
“Any time.”
The segment ahead was a lot lighter than what they expected it.
It felt nice.
Notes:
I might've gone overboard with Kazutora's and Draken's scene 😅
For the ones who noticed that I added a chapter count... It's all approximation based on that other thing some of you noticed.... It's actually a number of le****s.
Chapter 31: V: It was a sad smile.
Summary:
It's time for a Q&A! A ridiculous one.
Mikey's a little shit, even through questions on a sheet.
Inui, Chifuyu and Draken get a moment.
Then, something doesn't go as planned?
Notes:
Been a short while!
I'm tired I'm gonna take a break ouch my head this chapter was a beast...
Read, enjoy, comment, kudos! Please! Enjoy the angst.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chifuyu found it on his balcony.
He didn’t really know what it was. Just a label-less tape that he had never seen before. He thought to play it just to check what it was, then put it back where it should’ve been or asking around in the building to see if someone had lost it.
He went to retrieve the tape reader. He played the tape and sat in front of it, in his room.
He really didn’t know who was that Naoto guy. But as soon as he saw him, flashes went through his mind, leaving behind a constant, hurtful headache that he didn’t know it was possible to have. Even before the end of the first segment, things had come back to him. The memory of a life spent with friends that kept dying, with a semblance of goal and positivity that ended when a katana impaled his blond friend- a friend he didn’t know yet.
Takemichi?
He couldn’t stop watching now. But as he watched on, his mind became restless, every few seconds flashing a new memory a new pain behind his eyes, a new claw inside his chest.
It hurt too much.
This couldn’t be real.
It all came back to him. And it ached, it hurt, it burned, it crushed him it killed him.
He felt like dying all over again.
Oh gods he had died- he was dying-
Too much!
His mind went blank.
It felt like snapping.
The next thing he knew, he had just thrown the blasted thing across the apartment, he came back to himself just to hear its flat sound as it collided with the floor a few times, and his own labored breathing, before he looked around.
“…What… I was doing something…”
He didn’t know. His mind was blank. He couldn’t remember anything of the past few hours. When had he gone home, too?
“Chifuyu? I’m home!”
And just like that, everything was back to normal.
But it wasn’t really.
“Anyone!”
Chifuyu was running around the school.
“Anyone, please! Did you see Ryusei? Or Baji-san!”
But everyone he met shook their head, or just sent him weirded out stares.
How long had he been running? He didn’t know. He just needed to find them- before they did something stupid.
What was the worst thing that could happen? Losing the tape. And as unserious as Ryusei could be, if he really had it he wouldn’t lose it. It didn’t help Chifuyu’s worry, nor the awful feeling that crept up his spine, the impression that something horrible was going to happen.
More than anything, Chifuyu had the horrifying feeling that something was going to give.
He was scared. So scared.
And his reason to be scared was something he didn’t even want to admit to himself.
“EXCUSE ME!? WHO DID WHAT TO MY BABY BRO!?”
Angry and Inui turned away to reassure Smiley, as Keisuke tried to process the information that the younger Kawata was actually a triple badass even while injured.
“Nothing, big bro!” Angry shouted back with a roll of his eyes. “Just reminiscing.”
There was a quiet hmph in the back, and Angry and Inui stared at each other long-sufferingly.
“Maybe let’s move on from Haitani questions,” Angry suggested quietly, Inui shaking his head.
“Okay, just one last question about them… what would you say if they both died their hair purple?”
Keisuke saw Ryusei raise an eyebrow in the corner of his vision.
“Purple, as in light purple like Mitsuya?”
“Nah, like cringy purple.”
Inui gestured with his hands, and while Keisuke wasn’t sure what they were talking about, they seemed to understand each other well as their disgusted rictuses matched.
“How to say it… Are we talking about the Haitani are two drugged dudes taking themselves for aliens?”
Inui bit his lips, trying not to laugh, and an image appeared in Keisuke’s mind. Uh. So these two purple-colored guys were the Haitani from that future. What the hell.
“I wouldn’t have put it better.”
Ryusei was snickering.
“How am I supposed to face them next time we see them?” he cackled with a wild grin. “I can never take them seriously anymore.”
“Besides,” Angry added. “Any worthy pair of siblings would distinguish their colors. Both going purple would be pretty meaningless. Even though… even now they’re not even able to choose only one color for themselves.”
Angry shook his head like it was a lost cause and Ryusei laughed harder. Or rather, choked harder. Keisuke frowned, turning to him.
“Hey man, are you okay over there?”
Ryusei sent him the o sign, and Keisuke didn’t insist.
“So that’s why you and Smiley have different colors… I thought it was just your tastes that differed.”
“That too.”
“Okay… Next: do you think Hakkai is your brother?”
Angry stared flatly.
“Hey, don’t do that to me, I’m not the one who wrote the question.”
“Right,” Angry drawled slowly. “No thanks. I’ll stick to my own bro, Hakkai’s too much to handle.”
“I sent you a signal!”
“When?!”
“Like that.”
“How was I supposed to know!?”
Inui only had a second to turn around at the familiar voices before focusing on his own fight.
What the hell were those two doings?
“If you say so,” Inui only said, and Angry looked away.
“Well…” he hummed reluctantly, shying away from Inui’s expectant smile. “I guess he’s a great friend…”
“Your best friends?”
“Let’s not go so far, alright? He’s ANNOYING!”
“Sure.”
Ryusei had stopped laughing by now.
“Remind me- Hakkai’s Mitsuya’s vice captain, right?”
Keisuke nodded.
“That’s it. I didn’t know he and Angry were friends.”
“Sounds like it happened relatively recently… or rather in the future,” Ryusei pointed out casually.
“Alright, alright… then does that mean you’re friends with Yuzuha as well?”
“Of course. She’s the nicest of the three of them. Mitsuya notwithstanding.”
“You’re right, of course. Someone asked what you thought of Taiju.”
Angry took his time to think, and Keisuke frowned in confusion. Taiju? Who the fuck?
He didn’t even know who that Yuzuha guy was. Wait, that was more of a girl’s name, right? Did Hakkai have childhood friends that he didn’t know about? Then again, Keisuke couldn’t care less.
“He’s… not as bad as I’ve heard,” Angry ended up concluding. “He’s been distant from his siblings, and every time I see him, he doesn’t really try to participate in the conversation… we talked once, and I know he loves both Hakkai and Yuzuha… he probably just had a strange way of showing it. But you would know better than me.”
“So you admit you hang out with Hakkai!” Inui sounded triumphant.
“When did I say I didn’t?!” Angry half snapped at the blond.
Inui chuckled. It faded as he reminisced, a violent image making its way in front of Keisuke’s eyes.
There, was a tall bulky man, with blue white striped hair and a smirk that rivalized Keisuke’s own when he was beating his enemies up. Except that the one the man was beating was a young girl with dirty blond hair, while a young Hakkai cried in the background. It made Keisuke sick, but Inui, while feeling the same, didn’t move.
Keisuke came back to himself with a scowl. Ryusei winced, remembering his own personal experience of shit such as that.
Why did Toman have to be so messed up?
Right. Toman had been created to protect people that were already adequately messed up.
“To be fair with them… Taiju wasn’t always like that. He changed after both his siblings finally flew off the nest.”
Angry hummed.
“You would know since you were his second in command. How was he before?”
Flashes appeared in Inui’s mind, and in Keisuke’s as well, making him twitch in annoyance.
“I can only tell you he genuinely cared for them… even though he never did it right.”
Inui shook his head with solemnity.
“He was… a violent man.”
That was a conclusion. Yet Angry frowned.
“Sorry if that’s too much but then… why did you follow him?”
And then suddenly they were in for a spiral of memories.
It started with a hand in his hair. When Inui and Keisuke looked up, Keisuke felt like he had been punched in the stomach.
“How’re you today, Seishu?” Shinichiro’s image grinned down at him.
Shinichiro. This was… oh, gods.
He was dead. Right, he was- no, this was a memory.
Did that mean Inui knew- had known Shinichiro?
How many people had lost someone that day?
“It’s fine. My scar’s just hurting a bit… Don’t worry.”
Shinichiro frowned.
“Now, that won’t do,” he tutted, tugging at Inui’s arm as the younger protested.
“I swear it’s fine! It’s just phantom pain, it happens sometimes-”
“Wakasa! Where’s the painkiller?”
Wakasa was here too, casually smoking by the window.
“How should I know. It’s your shop! Yo, Seishu,” he greeted the boy belatedly with a hand gesture.
“H-hi…”
“More importantly! I don’t remember where I put it, you’re the one who organized shit in here.”
Wakasa sighed.
“Of course… How could I forget how incompetent you really are. Seishu, find someone else to admire, that guy’s a lost cause.”
Another memory span around. Inui just woke up to the panicked faces of Shinichiro and Takeomi.
“It’s fine!” he said. “It’s just a nightmare… I get those. Did you need me for something?”
Shinichiro agitated his hands negatively.
“Of course not! Get some more rest, alright? Do you really don’t wanna talk about it?”
Strange.
“Should I leave?”
If Inui wasn’t needed, why did they tolerate him still? Why did they want him there?
Shinichiro had his palm in his neck, looking awkward.
“No… C’mon, can’t anyone help me here?”
“It’s your stray, man.”
“You say that, Wakasa, but you’re the one who always pats his head when he’s sleeping.”
“Ugh!”
Shinichiro sighed.
Strange. Even his best friend kept him around because he needed him. Because he was Akane’s replacement. Even his parents…
“Look, kiddo,” Wakasa sighed. “This stupid guy over here is always doing things wrong. He’s just that weak. So he always needs friends around.”
Shinichiro’s face lit up.
“That’s right, Seishu! No matter where or when, even if no one else does, Black Dragons will always need you! You’re a friend, alright?”
“Gosh, why are you including us in that…”
It all ended in chuckles and teases…
Inui admired them all so much.
“Inui. You’ll help the next generation leader as well.”
“Understood.”
Keisuke came back to his sense only to see Inui sigh sadly.
“Things changed a lot. I promised I’d always be there for Black Dragons. But my reason… it’s because I admired its spirit, no matter how eroded it became with time.”
Angry stared at him, seeming to understand there was something more to it. He smiled, just a tiny bit.
“Then, I think you can be proud of yourself, Inupi. It’s admiring, to never give up until the end. I’d hold onto something like that too, if I had been you.”
Inui seemed grateful for those words.
Keisuke felt his guilt grow, by the second.
Was this supposed to be a reminder of his sin? Was the goal of this thing to show him how many people had been punished for it?
Ryusei grasped at his shoulder, grounding him. He didn’t ask any question, and Keisuke was grateful for his tact. He really didn’t want to talk about it.
Yet, his mind kept spinning before his eyes the faces and names of the people that had been left behind because of him.
Just one more name to the list.
“Let’s talk about something else. Here’s the next question… New topic. Chifuyu! Do you think he’s the kind of people to start a cult and keep it up ‘till he dies?”
Angry raised an eyebrow, which might have equaled to a guffaw for him.
“I… excuse me, where did that come from?”
“Don’t ask me, I said. I’ve no idea who wrote that one. Probably Mikey.”
“You’re pulling my leg…”
“I mean, Chifuyu is the kind of person who believes in something and not ever let that belief go, isn’t that right?”
Souya frowned, raising a finger in disagreement.
“Right. But to start a cult… Chifuyu’s not like that. Chifuyu’s beliefs and loyalties are closer to a scientist’s belief in the fact that 2+2=4, if you see what I mean.”
“I thought Chifuyu was more of a romantic than a scientific type…”
“He’s a lot more rational than you’d think, actually.”
Keisuke had no idea what they were talking about.
Ryusei must have felt that his sorrow was receding somewhat, because he let go and hummed at the scene in front of them.
“Then again, maybe we have to mark the difference between join a cult and actually start a cult. Chifuyu would never join a cult but… His behavior was a tiny bit cultist at times. I wouldn’t put it past him to create a cult by accident.”
“That’s rough. You said ‘was’?”
“Mhh. He’s never been that friendly to begin with, so when people saw him acting like a cute puppy toward its owner, they got whiplash… and they wandered if he was possessed. It was freaky. That doesn’t really happen anymore though.”
First of all, Chifuyu wasn’t a puppy.
Second of all, if that’s what they called puppy behavior, Chifuyu was always a puppy, what the hell were they pratting about?
Ryusei saw his confusion and snickered.
“I thought we’d already talked about this,” he commented, and Keisuke begrudgingly tried to remember.
“Ah. That’s actually a great thought because there’s another question like that. Do you think Chifuyu emits more cat or dog vibes?”
What the hell were these questions. Draken had to have written this one.
Angry tilted his head.
“They’re right. I worded myself poorly. I wouldn’t call Chifuyu a puppy, actually. He’s really more of a kitty. And that’s why it’s weird. He’s a cat who snobs you most of the time, but if you’re someone he likes, he lets his guard down and you get whiplash with how cute he can act. So yeah, that totally fits. Cat vibes.”
“Huh. Okay. I’d have said cat vibes for a different reason personally… he’s always out there climbing stuff.”
“True.”
“Wait… doesn’t that mean you’re like, super friends or something?”
“Well, yes? Back in the day we saw each other less but we’re friends outside of the gang, have been for a while. Actually…”
“That’s totally Chifuyu.”
“Again, I don’t see it.”
“You do. Don’t you ever see how he acts with me? He’s always looking like he’s gonna start hissing and clawing at me. You’re always there watching and you don’t see it? You’d believe I actually liked dogs with the way he lets off this cat vs dog aura whenever we bicker? It’s so ironic! Uh…”
Ryusei stopped himself for only for an instant, letting out a bitter chuckle that had Keisuke turning to check on him.
“It was, I mean. It was ironic.”
It… had been?
Oh.
Oh.
Right. Chifuyu didn’t… do that. Anymore.
Just another reminder that even in their times, things had already changed. Keisuke gritted his teeth at the thought. Chifuyu wasn’t the same. There was something different about him, that Keisuke should have noticed sooner, and not just dumped it over a ‘he’s been weird lately and he’ll be back to normal soon’ pretext not to look at it too closely.
Chifuyu hadn’t been… normal, in a while. And maybe, Keisuke too should start to think about what the new normal was going to be. How the normal he knew… was probably gone, now.
Still. The way Ryusei looked, right now… it made his skin itch painfully. Keisuke growled.
“Listen to me,” he said, catching Ryusei’s collar and surprising him at the same occasion. “Whatever you’re thinking about right now, stop it. I get it, it’s different, and Chifuyu’s… different.”
Maybe even damaged. How could they know.
“But don’t you dare talk like he’s not here anymore!” Keisuke yelled with emotion, fire burning in his eyes, staring into Ryusei’s dark stunned ones. “It’s not because some shitty supernatural stuff happened to spawn out of nowhere that you can say Chifuyu’s gone. He’s not gone, and you know it. He’s…”
He’s just older. He’s just sadder. He’s ours, still. Don’t you dare think otherwise.
“No matter what, it’s still Chifuyu.”
It was all Keisuke was able to get out in the end. He let go of Ryusei and searched his eyes for a short minute, unsure of what was showing in his own. But with the broken, restrained look Ryusei addressed him, he preferred to turn away. Keisuke wasn’t being delusional.
If Ryusei couldn’t realize it, it’d only cause more problems in the meantime.
The screen didn’t wait for their argument to end, of course. It had gone on.
“Are you talking about me?”
It wasn’t Chifuyu’s voice. Keisuke could only guess the conversation had moved up since he stopped focusing on it. What was it again? Right. Chifuyu was a cat. With kitty vibes… Keisuke forced himself to think about, diverting his thoughts from the dark topic from earlier. That was one of the things Chifuyu and Kazutora had in common: they both had this cat energy. Kazutora was a tiny bit more like a puppy, but not toward everyone, so perhaps Angry was right, it depended on the person. Chifuyu was a wild cat… then Kazutora really was a tiger. Keisuke guessed Ryusei was something between these. He was starting to realize it drew some sort of pattern…
In any case, the new person had blond wild hair and wide clear blue eyes, looking a bit neglected. Keisuke recognized him.
“Takemicchi! I didn’t think you’d be here so soon!”
Right. It was the shittymichi guy. But somehow, Keisuke felt like there was a different kind of energy around the young man… apart from the fact he was now older.
“I’m skipping class.”
“Oh, you goddamn idiot.”
“What! My parents are spamming me to get a job already, I’m enabled!”
“I can’t believe you’d take missing people’s words over mine,” Angry actually sounded offended.
“Don’t say that to me, you don’t go to school either.”
“I already have a restaurant, it’s different.”
There was the sound of a door clicking close.
“Tell him, Souya!”
And that was Chifuyu’s voice. Keisuke turned, just as Inui adjusted the camera to see the newcomer. He was older than Keisuke had ever seen him in the tape, except from the drunk memory Inui had shown them. Blond eyes, tired blue-green eyes, taller than now… He was going to high school, was that right? If his Takemichi friend could already take a job they must be above fifteen, maybe sixteen or seventeen? Gods, that was a long time from now.
Chifuyu looked subdued.
The newcomer chuckled, carrying a school bag on his shoulder.
“He doesn’t listen to me when I tell him.
“And you don’t have school?”
“Nah. Teacher’s sick. I’ll be back in school in two hours, tho. Let me catch a break,” Chifuyu sighed, putting down his things. “And Takemicchi kept bothering me to accompany him here, so I guessed I’d come say hi.”
“It’s always nice to see you. You’re the only serious guy I know around here.”
Chifuyu smiled tiredly at his friend, before looking up to Inui.
“Hi, Inui. How’re you?”
“I’m fine. We’ll entertain Takemichi for a hot minute. Draken’s in the back, he’s with Smiley. You wanna take the bed?”
“It’s fine, I’ll go chat with them five minutes.”
“How do you do to already look like a depressed overworked sophomore?”
“Look, Souya,” and Keisuke just noticed that they were on first name basis. “If you keep teasing me, I’ll never teach you business management when we’re older.”
“Okay, I’m sorry teach’.”
“You two have a weird thing going on…”
“Look, if he doesn’t give me tips, who’s going to take care of money in the restaurant? Big bro?”
Inui grimaced.
“Exactly.”
“Then maybe stop probing at Chifuyu.”
“I will and I can, he’s my friend,” Angry drew his tongue out at Inui.
It was strange, the… the weird feeling of warmth that emanated from the scene. Keisuke didn’t even think the founders of Toman had ever had that atmosphere around them. Maybe they were not soft enough for it, or something.
It made him yearn, just a bit.
Ryusei couldn’t even stare at the screen.
“So, Takemichi! What would you feel if Hanma were a duck?”
“What the fuck is that question?”
“Inui, you totally invented that one right now, didn’t you?”
Takemichi actually thought about it.
“Huh… Nah. Or maybe? Something like a hen or a goose…”
“Mh, why?”
“Because,” Takemichi raised a finger up. “Every time he opens his mouth, you never really know what’s gonna come out of it. It’s like a goose that creates eggs, and you never know what’s gonna be in each of them. It might even explode in your face, and then he’d be laughing at our faces.”
“That’s…”
“Oh my god…”
Cue to more laughers. Keisuke tore his eyes away from the scene until it cut. The screen lit back up in exactly the same place, with the same people, except Takemichi, Smiley and Angry were nowhere in sight, while Draken was with them now. Also, Inui seemed to be dragging Chifuyu in their direction.
“Come on! Just five minutes.”
“Alright, alright… Just let go of me.”
Both sat one next to another as Inui took the list of question back up.
“Okay… Ah, this one’s a bit weird. Would you mind becoming Mikey’s best friend?”
Draken face palmed. Chifuyu raised an eyebrow.
“As in, now?”
“More like, in the past. During Toman era.”
“Who the fuck does that pipsqueak think he is?” Keisuke fumed.
That was his friend, goddammit. No stealing.
“Why would anyone ask something like that?”
“Just imagine younger Mikey asked that.”
“The worst it, that’s totally the sort of thing he’d ask for,” Draken sighed with the slightest smile that he was trying to hide. “He’d do it just to piss Takemichi or Baji off. I swear.”
Mikey absolutely would. He’d already claimed Kazutora before. Not that Baji was complaining about that one, Kazutora had needed friends back then… just…
Gotta be careful. Especially with that competitive bastard.
The worst might have been that Chifuyu was actually thinking about it. He looked puzzled by the end of his thinking.
“I… don’t know? I mean, maybe for jokes… I didn’t think he actually liked me that much? At least I didn’t get that impression. We were just friends when we saw each other, I guess. No matter what, Baji will still be my one best friend. And Takemicchi’s my partner.”
Ryusei choked.
“Excuse me what the fuck-” or at least that was what Keisuke thought he heard before Ryusei was defeated by his coughing fit.
Draken chimed in.
“I mean, I do remember him stealing you away with manga talks or another of his excited ideas just to annoy Baji. Don’t worry, Chifuyu, I think he knows- knew you and Baji were inseparable.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“He just- he just called that boy his partner! His aibo!”
Yeah. That. Keisuke shrugged. It was just a bit weird, Keisuke didn’t really like the complicity it expressed, but it wasn’t like Chifuyu had just called someone his aikata or something.
“What? You jealous or something?”
“Well- no, but…”
Keisuke was quick to shut him down.
“More importantly… did you notice what they’ve been saying about Mikey since earlier?”
Ryusei straightened, his curiosity fanned.
“Huh? That he’s an annoying leader?”
Keisuke shook his head.
“They’re speaking of him in past tense.”
Ryusei stared at him, and Keisuke felt a bit on the defensive with the way he was looking at him.
“What?” he murmured uncomfortably.
“Baji… they’re from the same timeline as Sanzu. You know what he said. About Kanto Manji, and Bonten. Mikey must have already left.”
Oh.
Right.
“One last question, Chifuyu, then I’ll let you go. Which Takemichi do you prefer?”
Both Chifuyu and Draken froze in their actions.
For a second, Keisuke had trouble understanding what was happening.
Draken let his glass down on the table with a soft sound.
“What are you talking about?” he said, far too calmly.
Chifuyu hadn’t moved yet.
“I mean exactly what I said, Draken. You’ve been keeping this secret for quite some time now, haven’t you?”
Draken stared at the inside of his glass, with an unreadable glance. He closed his eyes.
“So this thing really is some sort of magical object, huh,” was the first thing he said before going back to acting normally, as Inui nodded.
“You could say that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you two earlier. I know how much this means for you, now.”
“What do you think about it?”
The atmosphere had gotten heavy. Keisuke finally understood. They were talking about the tape.
Right. Draken… and Chifuyu too, had known about the time travel, even before the tape had reached them.
“It’s… strange, to know what happens in the future. And what should have happened. Honestly, it only strengthen my loyalty to Takemicchi, now. Back when Koko and I found it, we… we never thought it’d turn out like this.”
There was a lull. Chifuyu’s hand, hanging in the air, fell down slowly. His eyes had taken a hollow look, one that Keisuke couldn’t decipher as his shoulders seemed to fall just a bit more.
“How is the future?”
Inui blinked slowly.
“Fuck!”
Inui looked up at Draken who was staring at something else with wide, devastated eyes.
“What is it?” he inquired, leaning closer from where he was seated.
But Draken didn’t answer. So, Inui turned to the television, what he was staring at with this awful expression. For a few seconds, he didn’t understand what he was looking at.
Keisuke could pick up the very moment when the dots connected. There was a sharp intake of air, as Inui checked the place and the time of the TV report, before he hurriedly put it off. Draken didn’t move. He was frozen in shock.
“Draken. Draken!”
“I-Inui, Mikey- he, Mikey and Takemicchi, they’re they d- Mikey, Mikey!”
Inui shushed him, and Keisuke felt both of their hearts break at the sight.
“Takemicchi is dead… he’s gone… Mikey’s gone…”
Inui knew what it was like for people to leave him. But this was different. Mikey had been gone for a long time now, but he hadn’t been Gone. Takemichi too, in a way. But this was different. This wasn’t like Kokonoi, no matter how it seemed they were dead to each other.
Gods.
Mikey and Takemichi were dead, this morning.
Inui remembered settling Draken down, there was nothing he could do for him at the moment but make sure he wouldn’t choke on his own silent tears.
He knew what he had to do.
He remembered stepping away, just far enough not to be heard, but still keep an eye on his boss. He remembered calling someone.
“Chifuyu,” he called.
There was a sound on the other side.
“Do you hear me?” he said again.
This time the other answered.
“Hi. Inui. Is something wrong?”
Inui swallowed painfully.
“Draken is in a state. I can deal with it but… Chifuyu. Did you watch the news?”
Inui could feel the other tense up even if he couldn’t see it. He just knew, with the way the black-haired man’s breathing had changed.
“… What happened.”
It was a quiet, almost non-question. Inui would understand if Chifuyu didn’t want to know. But he had a feeling Chifuyu was already aware something was wrong.
“So you don’t know,” he croaked out.
“Kazutora forcefully offed the TV just a few hours ago and he’s been blaming himself and apologizing for all this time, I want an answer now, Inui,” his tone was more bristle than Inui had ever heard it be… or was it something closer to desperate and urging?
Inui wouldn’t know. Chifuyu had always been rather closed off, despite his friendliness. Keeping things to himself, except when he was drunk.
Gods. Inui wished they were drunk.
“I…” his throat closed up in a knot.
“Now,” Chifuyu repeated urgently, icily. “What happened.”
And Inui blurted it out, because he didn’t know how else make the words cross the barrier of his lips and the barrage in his throat.
“They’re both dead. Mikey and Takemichi are dead.”
He was crying now. Why was he crying? He wasn’t the one who was closest to them? He shouldn’t be crying. He should be there for them.
Chifuyu had probably heard his sobs by now, as silent as they were. In fact, Chifuyu had gone completely silent, except for a sharp breath. Inui didn’t know how much time passed, before he could hear the trembling sound of exhales, someone trying not to break.
It was calm but broken, the words he said next.
“I see.”
It haunted him.
“They died. Both of them. And your friend… he left again.”
Somehow, they all seemed to understand what he was speaking of. Keisuke watched on as the scene resumed, quietly, and Chifuyu processed the words, unmoving.
“I see,” was all he said.
“I see.” Keisuke heard all over again.
“I’m sorry for your loss. Do you want… the tape, I can…”
“It’s fine,” Chifuyu cut him off.
He downed his drink in one swing, putting it down and standing up when he was done.
“It’s not a big surprise anyway. Tell me, is this tape going to reach him?”
“…It’s the goal.”
“Mh.”
Chifuyu hummed. He looked straight at the camera.
“Partner,” he said. “If you ever hear those words… I’m sorry, for everything. Try to live in the present, alright?”
Chifuyu shook his head and took a hold of his bag.
“Sorry, Inui. It’s time I go back to school. Take care of Takemicchi for me, okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll wake him up,” Inui muttered, taken aback by the change of topic but still somewhat solemn.
He took a look at the camera before standing up as well.
“Wait here a second, I’ll get you one of the Tupperware’s Smiley left with us. He promised the noodles weren’t to spicy.”
He was off before either Chifuyu or Draken could protest. Chifuyu sighed with a soft smile. But then, his eyes met Draken’s, and it disappeared.
“Be careful, keep an eye on him,” he said gravely.
“What? What do you mean?” Draken was taking him seriously.
Chifuyu took the direction of the door, only stopping momentarily to think of his answer.
“I’ve been Takemicchi’s friends for years. I know how time travel works. It always involves…” Chifuyu’s voice faded, leaving Draken to reach his own conclusion.
“It’s a bit impressive,” Ryusei commented, “how he already seems to understand how this whole thing works.”
Keisuke shrugged, uncomfortable.
“It’s probably just a feeling,” he tried to take a pick at Chifuyu’s brain… he wasn’t certain he succeeded.
“Yeah, I get you. I’ll take care of Inui.”
Chifuyu hummed, his hand still on the handle. He hung his head backward to look at the ceiling.
“You know,” he said, “to answer his question… The Takemicchi from three years ago will always be my partner, the one I trust most after Baji-san and Ryusei. But we learned to live with this one, didn’t we? I know I can learn to love and appreciate him as my partner just as much as the other Takemicchi. I know I did,” he added, like an afterthought for his future self.
Draken huffed, sipping from his glass.
“Same. You’ll try to get a hold on Kokonoi? Please.”
“Yeah. Don’t drink too much, Draken. I know you’re major now, but still.”
Keisuke didn’t like how accepting the both of them were with losing their friends like that.
He didn’t like the idea that it might be a bit his fault, too.
“I’ll do what I want, you little shit. Go, now.”
Inui wasn’t back yet. Keisuke guessed Inui never had the intention of coming back before they finished talking. Somehow, the blond had known the two others had needed a private moment.
Chifuyu opened the door. But, just an instant before he went on, he stopped his step and smile, something soft and light, addressed toward them.
“Farewell, partner. Take care of yourself and don’t waste this chance, alright? And remember, I will never forget you.”
Just like that, he was gone into the light of the outside.
Right. They’d never gotten the chance to say goodbye, in that world. That might have been Chifuyu’s way to cope.
It was a beautiful, accepting, but sad, oh sad smile.
It hurt, Keisuke thought meaninglessly.
Inui came back just a few seconds later.
“So he’s gone already.”
“Yeah. School’s important, I hear.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t have better news.”
Draken smiled.
“It’s fine, Inui. You did the best you could. We’re proud of you.”
There was something in the casual way they interacted with each other, as Draken stood up and patted Inui’s head on his way out, that felt familial, almost. Something precious, that people managed to get for themselves even when they felt like they lost it all.
Something similar to what Keisuke had with Chi- no. No, Chifuyu was part of his everything, Kazutora wasn’t gone either. Keisuke was still part of the lucky ones.
No. It was something similar to what Chifuyu had with Angry, or what Keisuke had felt of it in the screen.
The ones left behind, huh.
Keisuke didn’t like how it seemed to fit a bit more, now.
“Take care, alright? Inui.”
“Yeah. You too, Draken.”
“Mh. Don’t forget. I need my cheer squad when the next drinking contest comes around.”
It was quiet, yet comforting.
And sad, sometimes.
Inui chuckled.
“Sure. Go to sleep, boss.”
“Yeah. And tomorrow, I’ll give you some tips to live the filming on a shared device, in case any of ya wish to leave a message for someone in there.”
“That’s oddly pointed.”
“You’re imagining it.”
“Or maybe you have something in mind.”
“Maybe… maybe we want to prevent avoidable mistakes. Think about it, okay?”
“…Okay.”
“Hey, Inui. Care to work for me? Board and lodging are included in the pay.”
“…Thanks.”
When the screen lit back up, Inui was alone again, in Shinichiro’s old abandoned shop.
“So… that’s how it ended. I’ve told you everything that happened around here. Past, present, future… I hope it’s enough.”
Keisuke flinched when he saw the gun in Inui’s hand.
“When Koko and I first stumbled upon this thing… we never thought it’d be as life-changing as it is. Then again, it probably won’t change our timeline at all, will it? Perhaps it’ll create more branchs. They were probably people better off than me to give the tape too. For example, Draken would make it go very far, I’m sure. Izana would be able to cross a timeline with the strength of his regrets. Not even speaking of Chifuyu, he’s probably a superhuman in that sense… But in this timeline, I was the one to remember.”
He looked tired.
“In a way, it’s lucky. I get to express my regrets, know that it’s better somewhere else... and it’s not like it fell on someone with a future. I’m really just sitting there waiting for death. Without Koko here, or any goal left in life…”
A tired, sad smile.
“What’s stopping me? My goal was always to help Black Dragons… to make Koko happy, too. In the end, I could accomplish neither. I’m not like you, Takemichi. I’m- I’m not sure I’d be able to change the past, even if I tried. So… this is the best I can do.”
He raised the gun to his temple.
“Koko… No. Hajime. I hope, if a next life exists, that we can meet again.”
This was the end, again.
And this time, the last message was addressed to someone else that this Takemichi or Mikey.
It was so personal. Keisuke wished he could look away.
“Like I said, I did everything I could. So both of you… Don’t be sad for me, alright? Takemichi, Koko…”
This should have been the end.
But then, Inui’s expression morphed into something else, and the gun slightly fell from his face.
“Koko?” he whispered, barely audible.
Then, the shock turned into horror and he yelled.
“No! Koko, don’t!-”
There was a loud noise, as if something had shattered.
Then nothing.
Notes:
I strived to finish Inui's part in this chapter.
Which means it's twice as long as it should be. and I have a headache.
See you guys soon :')
Chapter 32: E: He already chose.
Summary:
Kokonoi reveals the truth.
Ryusei can't bring himself to believe it.
Ryusei would rather grieve once than twice.
Notes:
Hello people! Happy to see me again? Me too!
Cry with me.
Announcement: next chapter will feature new kind of chapter epilogues.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Two weeks ago, things had been just fine.
Everything had been good really. Ryusei had finally somewhat moved on from his troublesome past. Their daily life had cleared up. Somehow, he and Chifuyu never could stop their endless bickering, and Chifuyu was still a prickly cat that only ever answered to Baji, and maybe Ryusei was a bit jealous.
Despite it all, it had been good. And Chifuyu grew to be more at ease with Baji, progressively, seamlessly. They were really a group, they were friends, and nothing could change that. This was, in fact, all Ryusei could ever asked for.
But then, everything had changed. And Ryusei hadn’t noticed immediately.
The beginning of the end. It had all started with an apathetic morning… No. It all started with a panic attack.
Ryusei had felt his blood turn to ice in his veins and his heart stop beating when he watched Chifuyu fall to the ground like a limp doll, eyes wide and hollow. He didn’t even know why, back then. He only rushed forward to help him, steady hands against shaking limbs, as Chifuyu fought panickedly against his grip. And he had been so fucking scared. It had all been so sudden.
But in the end, Ryusei had thought nothing of it. He brushed if off as a mere ill. But from that point onward, Chifuyu’s eyes were duller, greener, sadder, and more veiled. Sometimes he looked at them and it seemed like he was going to cry.
Ryusei remembered the conversation they had, after Chifuyu woke up. It had been about friendship. It had been soft, fairly normal, but maybe that had been the problem. Chifuyu would never had, in any other situation. But then, he’d expanded on the subject of friendship, not even really looking at them, like he was introspecting. It doesn’t matter when or how you started caring, once it happened nothing can truly undo it, was the message he’d passed on, as though it was a curse. But Ryusei hadn’t noticed.
He only noticed that Chifuyu looked tired, and the next day he actually looked sick. Sick as though something horrible happened. And he hid something from them. The fact he pushed something out of their sight, as though nothing was wrong, when he had never known how to lie, or the empty spot on his desk, that Ryusei had thought meant nothing… his unusual friendliness toward Ryusei. The fact he didn’t want to stay alone, wanted his friends close, but couldn’t quite bear to look at them in the eyes without said irises to become somewhat misted, if Ryusei had looked close enough.
Ryusei hadn’t.
Even when he heard it, loud and clear, “I just don’t feel like a good enough person…” he couldn’t even think right. He’d heard it, and he investigated, but the most he could find was that Chifuyu had remaining issues from the past. And he probably did. Thinking about it, Chifuyu had probably purposefully guided them toward that line of thoughts instead of revealing the truth to them. And he hadn’t even needed to lie. Ryusei had let him. Why?
Because somewhere inside, Ryusei hadn’t wanted his suspicions to be true. He hadn’t wanted things to be wrong. He had denied everything, pushed them away in the back of his mind, like it could erase it.
It was his fault, in a way. He had left the wound to fester.
It didn’t get better. Chifuyu kept on showing signs of post traumatic stress disorder. The way he controlled his expressions had been terrifying, his unordinary shame of himself, a self-esteem that wasn’t so low before. Ryusei had thought nothing of it. Instead, he put it upon Chifuyu’s slightly obscured past, thinking they were but leftovers of what once was. And perhaps he was right. But that had never been everything. The truth cleverly dissimulated in the past, and Ryusei had allowed himself to be fooled. There had been so much that had been wrong already, even before the one week disappearance. That was only the start.
Ryusei remembered. “Chifuyu was shot.” It had made no sense to him. Why would Chifuyu get involved in something so dark, without even talking to them about it? Why did he refuse their help? Why was he so ashamed at the idea to let them in? What had his goals been?
Ryusei had told himself Chifuyu wouldn’t pull those stunts if he didn’t have good reasons. And now he had found out what it was, what those good reasons were. And he wished he’d investigated further, that he had dug deeper. Instead, he had been losing time, unaware of what was happening behind his back, as Chifuyu was getting worse and worse. The simply fact that Chifuyu should not have been able to patch himself up after a gunshot wound should have been enough to ring the alarm bells. Not only that, but Chifuyu’s insistence that he should have been able to deal with guns, even though he had told Baji he had never been shot in the past. Because of course, the past isn’t the future.
Even Mikey had put things together before Ryusei did. In just a few minutes of conversation, he had had enough suspicion to actually warn Baji about how bad all of this could go.
It had taken Ryusei witnessing Chifuyu beat thirty men into oblivion to understand that this wasn’t the Chifuyu they knew. That maybe all his actions in the past two weeks had precise objectives, all woven together so tightly that Ryusei hadn’t even been able to discern the rope that trailed after each of Chifuyu’s steps for so long now.
Chifuyu hadn’t even tried to be discreet, despite going out of his way not to tell the truth to them. It was as though he couldn’t bear them to look at him with the knowledge of what he had been doing, who he had become, whatever that was, without ever thinking letting them know would be such a bad idea. But Ryusei hadn’t been able to pick up on the clues.
Even now, with all this new context, Chifuyu’s plan remained a mystery to Ryusei.
And because of that, Chifuyu was going to die. Because of his denial, his lack of focus, his will to ignore everything, Chifuyu was in danger, and he had seen nothing. If not for Baji’s persuasion, he wouldn’t even be aware of it now.
Yet, now…
“Koko, no, don’t!-”
A bang, the screen going black again. And Ryusei couldn’t decipher what had just happened.
This couldn’t be real. Kokonoi wouldn’t have killed his friend, not from what Inui had told them, and Inui wouldn’t have been so panicked if Koko had just been about to shoot him.
What had happened?!
Looking to the side, Baji seemed just as baffled as he was. But somehow, there was something a bit hopeful in the glint in his eyes.
What?
What was it? Ryusei didn’t understand. He had trouble following what was happening.
“Don’t tell me…” Baji whispered, and Ryusei heard him, with no idea what he was murmuring about.
What had changed? What was so important, that he had yet again failed to notice?
But Baji merely waited the next segment with bated breath. Soon enough, the screen lit up again… but it wasn’t Inui. No matter what had happened, the tape had been passed on to the next person. It seemed to be Kokonoi himself…
A… very young Kokonoi.
“Hi,” the boy said stoically.
“He didn’t die,” Baji breathed out, attracting Ryusei’s attention again.
“What?”
Baji repeated, at a slower pace, as though it would help Ryusei understand better.
“Inui didn’t die. But still…”
Baji wasn’t supposed to understand things quicker than Ryusei. What was happening to them exactly?
But then, Kokonoi started speaking.
“I don’t know what it was like, for all of you… But when I gained awareness, there was a presence with me. And it told me… It gave me…”
Kokonoi closed his eyes.
“It gave me things that I never quite understood. Memories, feelings that didn’t belong to me. A soft caress too… And I think that’s what a soul feels like. Or at least, part of a soul.”
He opened, staring straight at the camera, and his gaze was, somewhat, infinitely softer now.
“I’m sorry, Inupi, for all the things I never understood, and all the things I ignored. I’m sorry that you had to feel like that, and that the only way for you to give all of this to me was to give me part of your soul. But… I’m also grateful. I promise you, this time, I will save both of you. So live on happily if you’re still out there. And one more thing.”
He bowed in his sitting position.
“Thank you for having survived. For still being alive.”
Ryusei froze.
Inui was alive.
The words finally seemed to mean something.
Inui was alive. The tape passed on.
How the hell did it do that?
As though he had perceived Ryusei’s incomprehension through both time and scree, Kokonoi smirked then.
“None of us ever thought that shooting an object could send it back in time just as efficiently as someone’s death. First of all, I think there’s a lot to say about that before we move on to the usual stuff,” he said, more than serious. “You don’t know how many people this could save in the trail of this time-leaping tape. Just like it saved Inupi’s.”
Ryusei had heard that right.
Kokonoi hadn’t shot Inui. He had shot the tape. And somehow, Ryusei knew it for a fact, it wasn’t broken, wasn’t shattered in a thousand pieces.
But Kokonoi had been ready to do it. To destroy all these people’s efforts and last piece of hope, just to save one person.
But it didn’t change the question. How was it even possible?!
There never were any cheat rules in cutthroat situations. So they couldn’t be cheat rules here. Simple.
Kokonoi raised a finger.
“Remember, when the old man Tachibana Naoto told all of us how to get the tape back in time? Inupi was the holder of the time-leaping ability. By sacrificing his life, he should have been able to use the time-leap’s glitch to force the ability onto the tape. We’re all in agreement here. Then, the ability would have consumed the memories we put in the tape – parts of our soul, I presume – to propulse itself back in time according to Inupi’s regrets. As we can see, it succeeded, as it’s here with me and not back up the timeline.”
Ryusei blinked, nonplussed.
The memories were… parts of people’s souls?
That-
“However. I don’t know if any of you noticed, but,” and Kokonoi smirked knowingly again, “most of us have two souls right now.”
What.
Why was Ryusei the only one who didn’t seem to be making any sense out of this shit?
Two souls? What the fuck.
“Of course, not all of us. We already established that the tape is going to hold onto a new soul fairly early into the time-leaping process. It drags that soul back in time. Have you ever wondered what happened to the original soul of the body we end in?”
That devilish smirk turned into a victorious grin.
“That’s right. It’s still here. I don’t exactly know what it does. Maybe it stays dormant, maybe both collide and coexist. Maybe one dominates the other and crush it… Or maybe they fusion one way or another, they’re basically the same in a way. And well, some of us only receive the tape at the end of its journey, which means that you’re normal, and I’d say it’s more risky to do that, but… Here’s the thing.”
“What the hell is he pratting about-”
“Shut it Ryusei! Let him talk.”
“Tachibana Naoto… he only mentioned a sacrifice. A soul sacrifice. It doesn’t actually mean death.”
Just like that, Ryusei’s brain stopped functioning.
Opposite to him, Baji looked like the gears in his head were turning faster than they ever did.
“We’ve all noticed how our souls and our brains don’t always match. We always end up scarring ourselves with our own memories, because it’s… a sort of imprinting process. Even if a soul leaves us out of two, all the information it contained is still registered by the brain and slowly integrated by the other anyway. There’s almost no loss, at least in theory. So when future me shot the tape back in Inupi’s time, Inupi didn’t die. But the impact activated the consumption of the soul energy IN the tape, the memories. I reckon it wasn’t enough, and that some of Inupi’s soul got absorbed in the process or something. That’s probably what happened. Because it evens out. That would mean that Inupi only has one soul again, and that the other was used as fuel for the time-leap. The leftovers reached me. That’s what I meant when I said I felt something give me memories and feelings when I gained awareness in this time.”
…
What.
That guy was saying that it was absolutely possible to send that tape back in the past, and yet not completely wither from it. Did Ryusei understand that right?
“You did it, Inupi, future me. You lived. And now that we know how, you won’t be the last. Even if a part of you died in the process. I’m glad. Now, to the future holders of the ability, fate is in your hands.”
Ryusei… he didn’t know what to think about it. Heck, he didn’t even know how to start processing it.
Was this… a good thing? It was supposed to be, right?
Baji seemed to say so.
“You heard that, Ryusei?” he was grinning at him, more relieved than Ryusei had ever seen him since the start of this fiasco. “They did it, they found a way!”
For a moment, Ryusei failed to get how this was relevant to them.
“With that… With this we might actually save Chifuyu!”
…Oh.
Oh.
Chifuyu.
Ryusei felt his features fall in the face of Baji’s excitement.
Baji, who at no point since starting to watch this horrible compilation of deaths, had ceased to worry about their friend’s fate, and what would happen to him if they simply gave it back when they found him again. Baji, who had it in the back of his head even when he was stunned over the sight of his friends’ blood. Baji who didn’t want to lose another best friend.
Baji who was so bright, still trying to find solutions to what Ryusei had long given up on. What Ryusei had entirely banished from his mind, to the point that having it thrusted back in his overwhelmed brain stunned him for a handful of seconds, and made him grieve all over again.
“I can’t believe the solution was right here all along. Just- imagine if no one had stumbled upon it on complete accident. They lived- that meant Chifuyu will survive too, we can still save him-”
“Baji.”
“He’s not out of reach yet, he’ll listen to us. It can work. It’s going to work. We just have to make sure he’s gonna do it correctly. I’ll even help him, for fuck’s sake this is-”
“Baji.”
“-perfect. This might actually be enough to get us all out of-”
“Baji.”
Finally, Baji stopped at the pained sound that came out of Ryusei’s throat. He turned to the light-haired teen, who almost couldn’t bear the overwhelming mist of feelings in those copper eyes, full of hope and so much more, and Ryusei hated to break it all over again.
The words came out whispery and awful, like they didn’t want to come out at all. Ryusei wished he didn’t have to say it.
“You know it’s not that simple.”
Kokonoi was still talking. They had both stopped listening. Baji had frozen in place, waiting for Ryusei to continue, refusing to see it. Ryusei felt like he was spitting poison. He swallowed bile, before he tried again.
“You heard him. It’s no miracle solution. He’ll still die. He might even get completely destroyed. And that’s betting on the fact that he’s actually from the future. It’s betting on the fact that…” and he swallowed again, drily, why were his eyes so wet? “that he wasn’t crushed in the first place.”
Ryusei remembered clearly. Things had gone wrong after that fateful day, November 16th. Things had been wrong, Chifuyu had been different.
But it had been even worse after that one week.
“Are you ready to bet over what’s left of him at this point?”
He didn’t like how his voice broke. He was trying to be realistic here. If, in the beginning, Chifuyu had still been able to put up a front for them – and honestly, it made Ryusei the most stupid soul, and Chifuyu the kindest soul – but after that time he had disappeared, presumably to work on the tape, he had gone back wrong. He wasn’t even trying to mislead them into believing he was fine anymore. That he was just like before. He had told Ryusei himself.
“What do you mean?” Baji’s tone was blank, dangerous, but Ryusei had to say it.
He laughed, lacking humor.
“How many memories do you think he’s already poured into that thing? You know Chifuyu. He’d do anything for a happy ending. He’d happily die for it!” he spat.
Baji was growing more and more furious by the second.
“You-!”
“And you think he’s cordially gonna let you intervene into something he’s been purposefully hiding from us all this time? That guy said it! He might- he’s probably already…!”
Ryusei couldn’t say it.
He loved Chifuyu. Every version of Chifuyu, if he so believed. But he had seen that guy. Was it even Chifuyu still?
Or just a teeny tiny piece of what he once was? Just a piece from the future?
Even if it worked in the best possible outcome, what told them the soul that would be left would be their Chifuyu’s? If it was even here still.
Baji grasped at his collar, dragging him closer in a way that made Ryusei’s feet leave the ground.
“Chifuyu’s not dead! Not yet, and I’ll make sure he’s not! He’ll listen to me!”
Right. One thing that hadn’t changed, Chifuyu still couldn’t lie to Baji.
But he wasn’t listening anymore.
“Why in hell do you think he made a second tape, boss!”
Ryusei shouted at his captain’s face. At his friend.
This was why Ryusei hadn’t wanted to believe it. He hadn’t wanted to believe that Chifuyu had time traveled, that he was different now. He hadn’t wanted to think about it, to believe this whole scenario the tape was selling them. It made sense, it so horribly made perfect sense, but Ryusei didn’t want to accept it, because he had known from the start what it meant for them, for their timeline, for their friend.
When was the last time they had seen Chifuyu cuddle Peke J? Or even spare him a glance?
If it was Chifuyu, what did it mean in regard to what he had become, who he was now?
And most importantly, if it was Chifuyu…
It meant their Chifuyu had planned to die, with only a lousy tape they might not even dare to watch to explain what had happened and why he’d done it. Because he was like that. Their Chifuyu had always been like that, and Ryusei hated himself because he should have investigated before it came to this, dug into the past before it could affect them so badly now, he should have noticed sooner.
Now they were here.
And only a thin chance in a thousand saw their friend alive by the end of this deal.
And Baji was looking at him in denial, incomprehension, a bit of both, and a shake of the head, almost imperceptible, and Ryusei really wanted to tell him it was going to be alright, because Ryusei too wanted Chifuyu to live, he wanted to believe and at the same time not, because what would it mean for his friend, how much would he have had to go through to lose himself so much in this. But he didn’t. Because, oh so slowly, Ryusei had put all the threads back together into the truth, the threaded rope that Chifuyu carried with him, only waiting for something to take it up when he…
“He already chose, Baji.”
Notes:
Did you cry with me? :') cool. I needed it. This story is becoming more depressing by the second.
I DID say there was gonna be a happy ending, right?
I SAID it?.
.
.
TT_TT *awkward exhale*Comment please? ^^''
Don't hate me please?
(It's gonna be a long ride to get there)
Chapter 33: S: Except he looked away.
Summary:
Baji thinks Ryusei is being dramatic. But he understands something is wrong.
Then, they learn more things!
And more things...
The future is even darker than Baji thought.
Notes:
After a few days, more and more I thought that the previous chapter didn't actually satisfy me... but I'm not gonna change it now. So I just hope this one rectify the shot, and that it gets back on track with what I want.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He already chose.
Keisuke didn’t believe it.
But, staring into Ryusei’s overwhelmed black eyes, Keisuke didn’t know what to think anymore.
The words were cruel. Ryusei had to be wrong. Keisuke knew that he was being an asshole. No matter the time, Keisuke believed he knew Chifuyu, and not matter when or where, Chifuyu remained his Chifuyu, and Chifuyu never failed to listen to him and to care for him. That, at least, Keisuke knew, had known from the start, even if he had never quite understood it. They had ground to work with.
Yet, hearing the raw hurt in Ryusei’s voice, in his eyes, he knew Ryusei was being sincere, and that this hopelessness was genuine. And he didn’t know what to make of it. Ryusei… What’s happening to you?
Nevertheless, Ryusei had a point. Several points.
They didn’t know which future their Chifuyu was from. And they didn’t know just how truly damaged he was. Keisuke’s heart clenched in his chest at the thought of it having gone unnoticed all this time. Not only that, but recently, Chifuyu had been pushing them away. Keisuke didn’t understand all of the soul speech that Kokonoi had explained, but he got that there were a few worries to be had. Like, the co-destruction thing didn’t sound all that good… But Chifuyu was careful. If Keisuke knew one thing about his friend, despite the fact that he realized now how uninformed he truly was, it was that Chifuyu had a healthy relationship with risk ever since he met him, he knew how to rely on others… and he never did things without reason, no matter how difficult to understand that reason may be.
And Keisuke trusted Chifuyu’s judgement.
But most importantly…
“I swear that I will tell you everything.”
Chifuyu never lied to him.
Ryusei seemed to have forgotten that.
No matter what or when, might it be twelve, thirteen, seventeen, twenty-eight, no matter how old they got Keisuke trusted that this would never change.
Of course, Keisuke also trusted Ryusei’s analyzing and deduction skills. But…
“Ryusei… The key to understanding the future is not always in the past.”
He released the younger.
“It’s your right to worry,” he added softly to a wide-eyed Ryusei. “I understand. You probably even have a broader vision than me. But that’s precisely why you have to help me in this, Ryusei”, he declared strongly, burying his fiery eyes in Ryusei’s wet and disbelieving owns. “Chifuyu is our friend. He helped me, just like he helped you. Just because he might not be the same… it’s no reason to give up on him! So whatever you think, never doubt that: we will find a way out. Together.”
That’s what Chifuyu always told us, when we kept on being idiots. What the both of us kept shoving at me, in my times of need.
Now, let me be here for you as well.
He raised his fist.
“Promise me, Ryusei, that you won’t doubt us.”
Ryusei stared at him for a couple of moments. It was as though Keisuke had offered to get him the moon. He looked… he looked dubious but also…
Ryusei turned away with a brief affirmative hum. Still looking worse for wear.
Keisuke sighed in relief, grinning at his friend. No matter the hardships, they might actually make it through.
But first. They had to watch this tape to completion. He was persuaded that the ultimate truth Chifuyu was hiding from them rested behind the screen, soon to be in their reach. Not only that, but Ryusei had raised a good point regarding the second tape – since apparently there was a second, Keisuke would like to say he forgot, but he wasn’t even certain he’d paid enough attention to know about it in the first place. Why did Chifuyu have it? What did it contain? Was it about Draken’s advices to copy content from one tape to another? Or was it about more than that?
Kokonoi had moved on.
“There’s something I noticed,” he said, and Keisuke could say a few segments had passed on while they were arguing.
“The last few times I’ve been at Akane’s and Inupi’s place, something weird happened. With Inupi.”
Kokonoi had only focused on what was useful since the start of his segments, and didn’t mention things just for the fun of it, Keisuke had already learned. He paid attention.
“Sometimes, when we were talking and bickering like we used to, I’d feel like Inupi’s… not a kid. As though he’s like me,” Kokonoi confessed. “Back in the day, we both weren’t as close as we were in the future, but… sometimes he comes to me with words of care and worry, and I feel like I’m talking to my Inupi.”
Kokonoi shook his head with frustration, running a hand through his bang.
“No, sorry, that’s not right. Inupi’s still Inupi, there’s no ‘my Inupi’ and ‘other Inupi’’s. Bad wording.”
Keisuke couldn’t help but slip a glance in Ryusei’s direction, only to catch him flinch faintly, unwilling to look at the screen.
“He’s been having random headaches too, and nightmares. It’s like… he’s remembering. Bits of the future.”
Keisuke frowned. Was that even possible?
“I don’t think he’s ever going to remember everything,” Kokonoi shook his head again, and Keisuke almost mistook his grave features for dejected ones. “And it’s probably a good thing. I don’t want him, nor Akane-san, of course, to remember all the trauma they went through in the future. But he certainly remembers bits and pieces. And I think it’s because of me. Because of his level of exposure to my presence.”
Keisuke blinked.
Could it have something to do with the fact Inupi had gotten the tape before Kokonoi? And in the same timeline at that, from what Keisuke understood.
“I don’t think this version of him would be receptive to the memories in the tape. I tried to allude to very specific and marking events in our life, and it had no effect on him. It’s kind of randomized? And it doesn’t work with other people I spend a lot of time with. So I theorized about it. What if… what if it was that Inupi’s trying to resonate with my older soul? Because it recognizes me as a close person? It might be the reason why it only works with the people I was close with in the future.”
“That sounds a bit farfetched,” Keisuke commented, dubious.
“He… he might be right.”
Keisuke turned around to stare at his friend, taken aback. He didn’t think Ryusei would intervene again anytime soon.
“Do you know about this?” he questioned with lingering suspicion.
Ryusei didn’t seem ready to talk about it yet… But if it was true, why hadn’t it been happening to Keisuke himself? Keisuke frowned, puzzled.
Kokonoi chuckled bitterly, gaining his attention again.
“Of course, it didn’t work with Akane. I don’t need draw a picture for you… it’s because she doesn’t have a future to remember. Not where I come from. Nowhere, even, I believe.”
Oh.
So that was why.
Right. Keisuke had…
He shook his head, deciding to focus on Ryusei instead.
“Did it happen to you?” he probed, hoping for a clear answer.
Ryusei was looking anywhere but at him. Yes, thankfully, he nodded.
“Not a lot,” Ryusei admitted. “But sometimes. I thought those were daydreams.”
Keisuke nodded, once. Twice.
Great.
“That’s great news,” he said honestly, making Ryusei whip around to stare at him, dumbstruck.
“What do you mean?”
Keisuke smirked victoriously.
“Now we have the confirmation you’re alive in the future,” he said, enthusiastic. “Isn’t that great?”
Ryusei stared a few moments, surprised, before looking away with a huff.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” he said, something like guilt glinting in his eyes.
Keisuke tilted his head, not understanding.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. More importantly…” Ryusei added more grimly. “It also confirms that Chifuyu is a time-leaper.”
Baji nodded, his shoulders falling somewhat. They had already guessed, but… Maybe Baji had hoped that, just like Haruchiyo, the tape had reached Chifuyu without dragging him around in time like it did the others.
“Right.”
He tried to focus again.
“Once the timeline is changed, and both of them are safe and sound… I’ll tell Inupi everything. And maybe then he’ll go back to dragging me around… Let’s save Shinichiro-san, Koko! Let’s join Toman, Koko! Gods know he liked these people…”
Kokonoi sighed, but it was more amused than exasperated. Maybe even a bit nostalgic?
A thought crossed Keisuke’s mind. If the tape had time-traveled from Inui’s time to Kokonoi, did it mean Kokonoi only had memories up to 2009?
When he asked that question to Ryusei, the other boy shook his head.
“It doesn’t look like it. The whole point of this tape is to timeline-leap, isn’t it? Since each of the people that the tape reached basically created a new timeline by changing things, that means to go back to the past is still timeline-hopping, and the original soul from the original timeline is still the one dragged back. But I guess it’s just easier to say it goes back in time,” he shrugged.
Keisuke nodded. That made… sense, sort of.
“Speaking of these guys,” Kokonoi smirked like nothing happened. “I heard I have to talk about them. And that there were some questions tucked in somewhere… You know, that’s actually a good idea, considering that most of us don’t really have much experience about Toman from what I could see of the past holders. It’s starting to be a problem, by the way, because if we continue like that, three people per timeline, this might drag on longer than the length of the tape. Starting with the easy ones… The Haitani look fucking stupid in purple, but I’m not judging. And Hanma is not a duck or goose or whatever, just an asshole. No they didn’t look cool when they started breaking Angry’s and Hakkai’s bones, just stupidly arrogant. They were asking for it. No, Chifuyu would not start a cult, where the heck did you get that impression? And he wouldn’t be Mikey’s best friend either. Takemichi, no matter how weak, would have stomped his foot down and actually faced Mikey off for that,” Kokonoi snickered. “I don’t really know about Hakkai and Angry. But judging from what I’ve seen, I think they might’ve developed a younger-brother bond. Now, who did I want to fight the most…”
Kokonoi took his time to think for this one.
“Well… Even if I spent my life in gangs and in the underworld, I’m not much of a fighting guy. I mean, I can kick asses and all but I don’t like it particularly. So I’d say an easy fight? I don’t know, man… Onto the next one. Who do we think is the best captain of the first division?”
Keisuke stiffened.
Huh. Weird question.
It was strange to imagine anyone else but himself in that position. Logically, if he… if he died, his vice-captain would have to become the next captain. But Chifuyu wouldn't have, he'd only wanted to be Keisuke's vice. Did that mean Ryusei took over his position? Or had Ryusei already left by then?
Kokonoi sighed heavily, staring at the ceiling.
“The best captain, huh… For now there seem to be two, or three votes for Baji, but Kakucho probably had no idea who the first captain was and chose his childhood friend biasedly. Inupi knew about him and saw him fight, I did too… before we joined Toman. He probably couldn’t decide, that cute idiot. As for myself…”
It sounded like a difficult question. Was the new leader of the first division that strong?
Well, Keisuke had never thought of himself as a particularly omnipotent leader, but if Mikey could be considered the best gang boss out there, then surely Keisuke would be a divine captain… despite what Mitsuya and Draken could say about it. Fuck them, Keisuke was the best.
Yet… there seemed to be more at play.
“Honestly… Hanagaki’s weak, it plays against him. I’m not even sure his division considered him their captain.”
Keisuke’s eyes widened.
“What the fuck?”
Now he was angry.
“Who made that- that blob a captain!?”
Ryusei was tense as well, behind him.
“I think the only reason most of them listened to him was because of his vice-captain. That guy already had a bit more power over the division. So that’s already two points for Baji, who had the fighting prowess and, dare I say, the charisma, from what I heard all around. But does that make him the best captain?”
Okay. Who the hell was the vice-captain of the blond blob, so that Keisuke could bash their head in for not having simply taken the captain’s position? Obviously, whoever it was might’ve been better than Hanagaki fucking Takemichi. From the way Kokonoi was speaking, it was an original member of his division! So why the heck? And who was it again? Was it someone Keisuke had picked, or did Shittymichi drew someone from the crowd carelessly?
Seriously, what had Mikey been thinking?
“I think I know who the vice-captain is,” Ryusei muttered, attracting Keisuke’s attention. “Actually, I have two guesses.”
Keisuke tried to think about it calmly.
“Hopefully it’s Kazutora. He might’ve been out of juvie by now.”
Ryusei threw him an odd glance.
“Right… I wasn’t thinking about him but that works too. I was more onto Chuu or…”
“Despite what most of you might pick, I think Hanagaki’s the best captain,” Kokonoi answered gravely, unknowingly interrupting their conversation.
Now, even Ryusei was glaring at the young black haired boy. Although there seemed to be a glint of curiosity in his eyes.
Keisuke, on the other hand, couldn’t say he was too happy being deemed inferior to the other boy.
“I’m gonna kill him…”
“Let him speak, Baji.”
“You’ll say, I don’t know nearly enough to judge, of course. In term of strong leadership, there’s no doubt about who stands out the most. But I won’t change my vote. It’s important to me. After having spent this much time with Shiba Taiju as leader of all people, I have standards. And while I don’t know everything, I’d much rather place all my bets on the one who actually acts like he cares.”
The bite in those words was so intense Keisuke took a step back in surprise.
Huh.
What was that supposed to mean?
Did he just imply that Keisuke did not care?
That was bullshit. Even Ryusei seemed suspicious now. Neither of them believed this.
Keisuke didn’t like what he was implying at all.
But before they could question it further, and before they could argue or hear the man’s explanation, they were pulled in a memory. The first since Kokonoi started his segments.
It was a well lit place, with lots of noise. Laugher, mostly. Kokonoi was seated next to Inui. It was a bit strange, honestly. Kokonoi didn’t think they’d be so warmly welcomed after the Christmas disaster. Yet, here they were, quietly partying their arrival in Toman, courtesy of Hanagaki.
Of course, the room couldn’t hold all the first division members. It was only Hanagaki and his friends, Kokonoi and Inupi, and also Chifuyu in the corner. Apart from these, very few people were there. It was more like a friendly gathering than anything else.
In all honesty, it was nice.
Keisuke looked around. Strangely enough, neither Kazutora nor Chuu were present. It was really just that group of children, the newcomers, and Chifuyu, quietly overseeing the whole thing from the top of his chair, where he was sitting, one knee close to his chest, humming and chuckling lively to whatever Takemichi was pratting about, but mostly watching them interact.
Keisuke didn’t understand. The memory had been evoked speaking of Takemichi’s captaincy, hadn’t it? Keisuke couldn’t see the link. And where was the vice-captain if this was supposed to be a first division gathering?
A sneaking suspicion pushed through. Keisuke threw a glance in Chifuyu’s direction.
He'd thought about it before. He did think Chifuyu wouldn't resign from his position so easily. But for Chifuyu to follow someone weaker than him... the thought was...
The atmosphere was nice. Inui seemed a bit shy, Kokonoi was at least trying to be normal. It was a strange experience for all of them. And Keisuke was out of his depth. He couldn’t really recognize this first division. His only anchor was Chifuyu, but he wasn’t speaking much at all.
“Feel free to tell us if anything’s wrong!” the guy with the auburn pompadour smiled kindly at the tall young men. “Our crybaby hero over here is nice with everyone. Except Kisaki, for some reason.”
Kokonoi snorted, nose in his drink.
“I mean, the guy did sell you out,” he remarked, drawing grimaces from much everyone around.
“Yeah…”
“By the way!” A guy with chest-nut hair exclaimed, throwing an arm over Takemichi’s shoulders, “you didn’t tell us about that operation! Man, we could have helped! I feel soooo left out right now.”
“Huh, nope, Yamagishi,” the one with long blond hair said, “we’d be just as bruised as him. It was safer to leave him in Chifuyu’s capable hands.”
Chifuyu tsked.
“Tell yourselves that when he actually starts listening to me. I knew this wasn’t a good idea…” he took a sip of his- his orange juice, Keisuke thought?
“Ah hah…” the blond captain laughed awkwardly, “I’m sorry? I’ll listen to you more, I swear…”
“Dammit, you’re so lucky I was there. And you’re lucky Mikey was there too. You’re so stupid…”
“Hey, leave my love life out of this?”
Inui blinked, as did Keisuke.
“You like Mikey?”
“NO! He’s- I- I said stupid things to my girlfriend… Mikey just helped me fix it.”
“Man, you’re lame. I don’t know why Hinata loves you.
“For the same reason we stick around, I guess.”
Kokonoi thought to himself. This leader might not be half bad. If only because he was nice. And he was friendly to his subordinates, yet still managed to make them follow him. Kokonoi could already see how it was drawing Inupi in.
But Kokonoi still had his doubts. Thanks to his informant, he knew that things weren’t actually sunshine and shit in Toman, especially the first division. Speaking of which.
Kokonoi turned to Chifuyu.
“The first division members are rumored to be very strong. I thought it’d be tenser, honestly. Is it due to the change in leadership?”
Chifuyu hummed in his drink.
“Don’t think about it too much. It was never as bad as you seem to think it is. And Takemicchi’s new and all, but he’s got the bases, and he’s learning well.”
Kokonoi nodded, looking away.
“Mh. I heard it was the last captain himself who recommended the new one… in a roundabout way, anyways. I was a bit worried.”
Chifuyu’s finger twitched, but otherwise no reaction.
Keisuke frowned. He, himself, had chosen that lame ass? No way.
“He’s got the spirit.”
“Is that why you follow him? It’s probably different from what you’re used to.”
“…It is different. I follow him because I promised him something. It has nothing to do with my opinions. But you’ll get to know him, and you’ll realize it’s worth following him. The others would tell you the same.”
Kokonoi hummed. Keisuke didn’t like the piercing sharpness in his eagle eyes.
“But they don’t have the experience of the past first division. ‘Tis why I’m asking you.”
Keisuke glanced at Chifuyu, only to see that his gaze remained fixed at the same point in front of him, on the wall.
“Then I won’t lie. It is different. It’s not bad, though. Of course, there’s a long way to go, but it’s a good start. Solid roots will lead to a healthy tree. Even if it’s gonna be slow.”
There.
“No matter how slow it is, it’ll still be a healthier tree, I hope,” he commented nonchalantly. “Toman needed that fresh blood.”
Chifuyu crumpled his cardboard glass in his hand, without warning. The liquid leftovers teared down his hand as he did. Keisuke was surprised. He had been unable to pinpoint the moment Chifuyu had started to get mad. The green-eyed boy turned toward Kokonoi with a seemingly emotionless stare, which was truly a bone chilling glare.
“Kokonoi Hajime,” he said, a warning in his tone. “I’ve been attempting to play nice since earlier… but what exactly are you trying to say?”
It was threatening.
And Keisuke finally had an inkling of what they had been talking about.
Kokonoi, the brave man, didn’t back off. Keisuke thought he should have. The rest of the group had quieted, finally catching the disagreement between two of their members. Kokonoi waved their attention away, and they starting discussing again, still quietly and cautiously compared to before, regularly throwing glances at the two.
"Then I’ll be to the point,” Kokonoi announced calmly, his eyes narrowing. “Is your current captain safe for my friend and I?”
Chifuyu looked ready to murder him.
“He is. Now explain what the fuck that has to do with my captain.”
Kokonoi could easily divine that Chifuyu was absolutely not speaking of Hanagaki right now. Keisuke felt something warm in his chest, he would’ve smiled if he could.
“I respect you, Matsuno,” Kokonoi said seriously. “But I can’t say I respect your captain much more than I respect Taiju.”
“Don’t compare my captain to that man! This has nothing to do with Taiju.”
“In my opinion it has everything to do with Taiju,” Kokonoi retorted, careful not to attract the others’ attention again. “Because it’s half fine when Inupi choose to follow Shiba Taiju even though the man is violent and abusive of his siblings, as long as he’s not the one being assaulted. But I wouldn’t have let him join Toman’s division, something he should have no interest in joining, if the captain is just as much of a piece of shit!” he spat out. “Of course I looked your division up.”
“Look, Koko, you and your friend are safe here, would always have been safe here, so for the love of whatever you hold dear stop insinuating Baji-san was abusive,” Chifuyu growled, standing up slowly.
Keisuke felt like he had received a fish in his stomach.
Hah? Just, what the hell?
“The first division is not the Shiba household, Kokonoi, and you better keep that in mind."
"You’re right,” Kokonoi said bitingly, but also sort of pityingly, “at least Hakkai and Yuzuha weren’t delusional. Do they all think it was normal, in the first division?” he provoked.
Chifuyu gritted his teeth.
“No,” he let out, restraining himself so obviously his vein appeared from under his skin. “I don’t know what you’re speaking about, Kokonoi, Baji-san never went around beating his own gangmates or siblings for no reason, and all of those who were there could tell you that.”
“But most of those left,” Kokonoi remarked, smug, and Chifuyu flinched. “Let’s admit it, the first division members have been ever-changing since two months ago. I have heard the stories, Matsuno.”
“They are false!”
“Are they, now? Matsuno. You said he wouldn’t beat up his siblings for no reason if he had some, but I heard you two were as close as brothers, and that didn’t stop him.”
Chifuyu recoiled like he’d been punched in the guts. Keisuke felt much the same. The air had left his lungs, and he was left to stare disbelievingly at the two boys, in hope one of them would out that it was all a joke.
Admittedly Keisuke had already beaten Chifuyu before… but never anything that would warrant that type of reaction. Moreover, they hadn’t even been friends by then, let alone gangmates. This, was different. Keisuke wouldn’t. There must be a misunderstanding, in a few seconds Chifuyu was going to deny this all and the joke would be ended.
Except Chifuyu looked away.
“I- don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No matter how much you love someone, no one can forget that kind of thing and you know it. You could have died, or lost an eye.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
Died. Lost an eye.
The words repeated in Keisuke’s mind, circling to the point their meaning distorted.
"You can say whatever, Matsuno, but a guy who hits his so-called best friend with a crowbar to the temple isn’t someone I’d trust with my childhood friend.”
“You don’t fucking know anything-”
“I do, more than you think! I have my ways. I know that your admirable captain hadn’t been able to attend a meeting for two months even before that because he kept fighting with his own members, AND members of the other divisions. Look, I’m not trying to sully the memory of your best friend, but I want you to accept that this is what he was like in our worldview, and whatever you think of all of this and the attenuating circumstances do not change the fact that if he cared, then he cared just like Taiju did for his siblings,” Chifuyu flinched, “that according to you, he was the one who accepted Hanagaki as the new head of the division, that the new members only shut their mouths because the other leaders would beat them up if they dared talk badly of their childhood friend, and that I don’t trust him.”
Keisuke didn’t know if Chifuyu was furious or about to cry, now.
He didn’t even know if himself should be furious or should cry, too.
Kokonoi softened slightly.
“I’m not saying he was a bad man, or a bad friend. It’s not my place to judge. But I want to make sure my friend will be safe under Hanagaki’s leadership. It’s not against you. But as someone who’s been vice-captain of both of them, you’re the only one who can tell me.”
Oh, Keisuke thought numbly.
So Chifuyu had been the vice-captain.
He didn’t know why he was surprised.
Chifuyu was biting his lips so hard that he drew blood. Then he turned away harshly.
“You might get hurt if you follow him: he has the tendency to bite off more than he can chew. But he won’t force you to. Make of that what you want, and leave my captain alone. And leave me alone too, I need some air.”
He walked away to the exit. But before he could leave, Kokonoi called him out again, slightly apologetic about how much he had forced the other boy.
“Matsuno Chifuyu,” he said, grave but compassionate, as much as Kokonoi could be. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Chifuyu only addressed him one last hollow glance before leaving.
“Whatever. We’re done.”
The door made a loud sound as it closed, on his way out.
Then, Keisuke was back to himself.
Draken smiled to himself. He could vaguely hear Mikey speaking in front of the tape two rooms away. He felt like things were finally going a bit better. Like this, they could solve their own time, and live, to honor their dead.
Finally, he and Mikey were on the same wavelength again. It was all Draken had asked for. For them to work together, to get through this together. That way, they could avoid more tragedy.
Or rather, he thought Mikey had understood that.
But, when he entered the main room again, he saw with an indescribable horror blooming in his chest, the gun that Mikey was holding to his temple, and the goodbye smile he gave to both the tape and Draken himself.
This couldn’t be true.
“Mikey! Mikey, no, don’t!”
Don’t do it. I beg you.
I thought… I thought we could finally be free of everything.
But it was too late. Draken ran, see as though time had slowed down as the trigger was pushed, how the bullet penetrated Mikey’s head… How the blood splashed around, on him, how Mikey fell, as his eyes lost their shine.
He kneeled, taking the body of his most trusted friend in his shaking hands, not believing what had just happened.
Mikey had… Mikey had looked at him, over the camera, and had mouthed him goodbye.
“I’m so sorry.”
Mikey… was dead…?
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
Draken felt a scream tear out of his lungs. He wasn’t certain that voice was his own.
What did it matter? It hurt.
He thought they could finally fix this.
He had thought…
He had thought…
Why did you leave me?
Notes:
I know, I'm horrible.
Surprise?
Chapter 34: A: We'd all leave the world to rot.
Summary:
Ryusei tries very hard to be present for Baji.
He also tries not to wallow in misery too much.
This is about Taiju, Baji and Mitsuya.
It's also about Kokonoi, and an Inupi called Seishu.
Notes:
A little badly written panic attack to begin with~ still, TW.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Baji wasn’t breathing.
Ryusei really didn’t want to put more of himself into all of this, afraid of where it would sweep the pieces of his heart, but Baji was different. Baji was certain they could save Chifuyu, and he hadn’t noticed yet how horrible all the futures their friend could have lived through were. And Ryusei was too tired to be the one to tell him.
But somehow, he should have paid more attention to his captain, even though it hurt Ryusei to stare into those hopeful eyes, this powerful, assured stance.
Now Baji was frozen, staring at the screen, and he wasn’t breathing.
“Oi! Baji!” Ryusei lunged to the air of his friend, feeling the panic reeling in. “Baji, get a grip!” obtaining
He shook the long-haired boy by the shoulders without any sort of reaction. Ryusei was genuinely worried now. Baji’s eyes were unmoving, staring fixedly at nothing in great horror. For fuck’s sake, was Ryusei going to need to punch him again? Ryusei slapped him, and waited for a retaliation. But it had no effect.
“Baji! I know, alright? Listen to me, okay?”
Ryusei hit the older’s back, kickstarting his breathing again and making him sit down. Baji’s limbs were rigid in his hands, unwilling to be maneuvered. Ryusei could care less about Kokonoi going on in the background, he only cared for the cold hands of his friends as they shook. Suddenly, under Ryusei’s calls, Baji gasped wetly. He started to breathe, too fast, too much, his hands escaping Ryusei’s grasp to tear at his hair.
“Baji! Listen to me. You’re okay. Follow my lead, alright?”
But Baji wasn’t listening.
“He- he didn’t,” Baji croaked out, lacking air, gasping through the words. “I, he said, he lied- I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t!”
“Baji! I know!” Ryusei tried to get through to his captain.
He wasn’t as strong as Baji, unable to completely pry the hands away from the dark mane. As a last resort, he placed himself in front of the boy and grabbed his face, making sure they were looking at each other.
“I know. But you’ve got to stay level-headed. Do you understand?” he spoke slowly, waiting for Baji’s acknowledgement with a stern expression. “Now calm down. And we can talk.”
Only when Baji’s breathing slowed and the boy nodded, did Ryusei let go of his face. He took a step back as Baji attempted to collect himself. But then, his features scrunched up with something like pain as he tried to speak again.
“I… am I a monster in the future?” he questioned disbelievingly, with both fury toward his future self and an awful sort of helplessness.
Ryusei shook his head hastily.
“Don’t say that,” he reprimanded him. “For all we know, it was just rumors. Kokonoi said it, he wasn’t there. The facts always get distorted after…”
But Baji shook his head, not looking at Ryusei anymore as he stood up again, his hands balled into tight fists.
“You don’t understand. Chifuyu… He, Chifuyu didn’t deny it. He didn’t!”
Ryusei was afraid Baji would fall back into hysterics, but his captain chuckle bitterly, punching a wall instead. The light-haired boy couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh. No matter how destructive this Baji could be, it was still better than whatever had been happening just a few minutes ago.
“He defended you, Baji,” Ryusei tried to reassure. “You know like me that Chifuyu’s no liar. Even now.”
“But he didn’t deny!” Baji retorted, “like you said, Chifuyu can’t lie for shit. So what does it say about me that he didn’t refute it?”
“Chifuyu wouldn’t defend a bad person. You should be aware by now, Chifuyu’s basically a vibe checking radar. He wouldn’t have tried to defend your honor if you had none to begin with. Two years are not enough to change someone into an abusive person, and Chifuyu did say you weren’t like that. Try to see it logically.”
“But I do see this logically, Ryusei!” Baji yelled at him, pacing around the room. “I don’t know who the fuck this Taiju was, except for the fact that it’s Hakkai’s brother and that he was the leader of Black Dragons, but I know that when people comment on someone’s captaincy, it’s not supposed to be a comment about his private personality. You heard them, the guy only hit his siblings. For all we know, when Kokonoi talked about him, he was alluding to something else… I don’t know! Maybe he’s strict! It looked like it in both their memories. So explain to me just why the fuck Chifuyu immediately knew it was about the abuse!”
Ryusei recoiled, taking one step back.
Baji was right. Kokonoi’s memories showed how surprised he was by his new leader’s closeness with his subordinates, and the warm atmosphere of that first division. For all they knew, he might’ve been thinking of Shiba Taiju’s strict leadership and his distance regarding his subordinates. But Chifuyu had known they weren’t talking about that. He had known Kokonoi was comparing Baji’s temper to Taiju’s familial abuse.
“And why in hell would the rest of our guys leave if it weren’t for something like that?”
Ryusei frowned.
“Look, all of this, it could be related to one particular event. Everything is getting mixed up, we won’t learn anything right now. If we don’t learn more about this in the meantime, we’ll ask Chifuyu, alright? He should know…”
Because any Chifuyu that they had right now would be just as traumatized as the one they had just seen in Kokonoi’s memories.
Bile made its way in Ryusei’s throat. He swallowed, looking away. Baji still didn’t seemed all to convinced.
“Alright. Remember, Baji. Chifuyu wouldn’t stick with a bad person. Until we know more, keep that in mind,” Ryusei instructed. “Now focus. We’re missing out on stuff.”
He wasn’t sure the tape was able to project the memories in their heads if they weren’t receptive to it. He turned back toward the screen, falling back into silence as his current problem reminded itself to him.
Chifuyu.
Chifuyu would find them, eventually. Or they’d have to go meet him, to give the tape back.
Ryusei… How should he face him?
How could he?
The worries didn’t tune themselves down as he listened to Kokonoi.
And maybe it had been for the better that they hadn’t been listening. Kokonoi seemed he had just finished talking about Akane. Seeing the look on his face, Ryusei felt like he was intruding on something.
Kokonoi shook his head.
“Next. Would knowing who Takemichi really was have changed something for you? Mn. I… Don’t think it would have. It’s not like there was something terrible that would happen in the future for me or Inupi, and I wasn’t here a lot to notice the changes. Inupi probably did, though. Chifuyu too. Now that I think about it, before the whole thing with Tenjiku, he was less lively than before. Probably because his actual friend left. I only hope Inupi wasn’t affected…” Kokonoi sighed.
He put his hands together between his knees and hung his head backward to stare at the ceiling. There was something sad and… regretful? In his features. Ryusei wasn’t certain.
“Sometimes, when I thought about him… I wished I hadn’t left. I wished I hadn’t left him alone, like the both of us together against the world didn’t mean a single thing. I… I know he understood. Actually,” he laughed breathily, “I’m not sure. Did he? Or did he believe it was because he was not enough? Now that I think about it, he would do that, huh. He’d blame himself and… Maybe that’s why…”
Kokonoi shook his head, refocusing on his task.
“Anyway. Next is about the Shiba family. Taiju really is one of the strongest persons I’ve ever met, without weapons at least, even though Mikey beat him easily. In that aspect, Inupi chose well. He really was a good leader. Black Dragons was actually the first gang I’d ever joined, you know? On Taiju’s request. He didn’t look like it, but I know Inupi was unhappy about this. He was a bit of an expressionless teenager at the time… juvie did that to him.”
He exhaled heavily, hunching forward as he reminisced, memories flowing off the screen and Ryusei letting them roll in with only faint shudders of sympathy.
“To be perfectly honest, for a long time, I hated the Black Dragons. I hated that Inupi got roped into all their shit, I hated that he let himself be pulled and pushed around because of his obsession, and I hated how close it made him with awful characters, the sort of people I’d have rather he stays away from forever. Taiju is one of those people. But compared to the others… Taiju was respectful of Inupi, somewhat. After being close to him, finally entering a gang dynamic and learning about these people up close and personal, it became… harder, to completely loathe them. Suddenly, these were people, with lives and feelings, and their actions had causes and reasons. And it hurt a bit, when I realized that some of them were just like me: people who didn’t have a choice and just went with the flow of life. People who couldn’t stop themselves from being the way they were. Taiju was like that. He cared, even if the wrong way, and half of the time I hated him badly. The rest of the time… well. I hated that I could understand him.”
“I began to feel better being there. But I have to admit… it was something of a relief when these two people arrived to crash everything down.”
Kokonoi stared into the camera, seriously, a bit solemn too.
“Hanagaki Takemichi… and, Mitsuya Takashi.”
Ryusei reacted, perking up at the familiar name.
Baji jolted. Ryusei didn’t know why. But he could guess it was something about Taiju being compared to him again.
If even his own childhood friends thought it was bad…
Still. What did Mitsuya have to do with all of this? Of course, Shiba Hakkai was his vice-captain, but he was in Toman, right? Nothing to do with Black Dragons.
Then, Ryusei learned about how Mitsuya had bargained for Hakkai and Yuzuha’s safety in Black Dragons’ lair, under Kokonoi’s hidden surveillance. How much Mitsuya truly cared for those two. And suddenly, all of it made more sense.
Ryusei could discern, somewhere in the back of Kokonoi’s mind, a spark of something. Not quite hope, no. But, it wasn’t just curiosity.
But something had definitely lit up. Something like a…
‘What if?’
“He went above and beyond to save his so-called brother and sister. It wasn’t a gang battle, but a clash of morals. And even though I was fighting against them, I found myself looking forward to the result of this,” Kokonoi admitted quietly. “Mitsuya is… heard they call him the big brother. And after I saw that display at the church, I couldn’t help but agree. If this is what all big brothers are like… I just wonder sometimes if it was something similar to this that Inupi felt for Akane. Even though he was the younger brother… what did it feel like, losing his own flesh and blood because of a… a ‘mistake’.”
Kokonoi’s face did something complicated at the word. Ryusei didn’t even want to start trying to decipher it. He could only guess it was no good.
“That guy… I thought he wasn’t real. And he, too, reminded me of myself. In a different way from all those cruel guys out there, rather… I wonder if this could have been me, in another life. He, too, fought for those he loved, only in ways he could, never discouraging himself. He tried his best in what he could do, even if it was… frustrating, at best. I understand that feeling better than anyone.”
A young person wrapped up in bandages, on a hospital bed. And a horrible helplessness, crushing its owner despite his resistance to such feelings over time.
“But I… What would he have done in my stead? Wouldn’t he have done the same? Turned toward crime, anything for the people we care for? Isn’t it what love is? What else could he have done?” Kokonoi shook his head with a sad smile. “Nah. I bet he would be the kinda guy to raise funds through compassion and friendships, and actually succeed. I swear, when I picture that guy in my head, I wonder if he’s even real.”
Mitsuya… he was an inspiring person.
Ryusei, too, when he first got to meet the guy, he had thought there must have been something wrong with him. That it couldn’t be like that. That these kind guys that seemed to have perfect morals and solutions to everything, they must be naïve, not have known enough about life. But it wasn’t like that. Mitsuya, just like Ryusei and Kokonoi, had lived through his own struggles, powered through life with strength neither of the two others had had, apparently. Because he’d succeeded. He was fine. And that had to mean something.
That it was possible.
That Ryusei had done something wrong.
But he wouldn’t let himself fall back into that mindset.
This segment was the last.
“Today, I’m grateful I have this chance to start anew. Maybe, this time, we’ll be fine, really. Maybe I’ll take better decisions… but I’m no saint. I’m still the same, terrible person that continuously abandoned my friends without giving any plausible explanation, the same guy who did more crime in his life than Kisaki Tetta himself. For me, people like Hanagaki and Mitsuya will always be dreams, that I can never hope to reach. But I’ve still got something more precious.”
For the first time since the start of his part, Kokonoi smiled, genuinely. Ryusei knew who he was thinking about before he got to say the names.
“I’ve Inupi… No. I’ve Akane, and Seishu. As long as they’re here, I can get through anything. And I’ll make sure it’ll stay that way.”
The smile faded off as he searched for something off screen, by the foot of his seat.
“But I’ve wanted to say something else too, about that. Really, I’m determined. Don’t you ask yourself why I knew exactly what happened at the end of Seishu’s part even though I’m not even the Kokonoi from his time? It’s simple… He’s still me.”
Kokonoi retrieved a gun.
“I know myself. And I know I won’t ever change. I know what I would have done. If anything happened to Inupi… either of them…”
Kokonoi pointed it toward the screen, his gaze that of a killer.
“Of course I shot the tape. I don’t care about the future or the past, all I care about is Inupi. I don’t mind destroying the hopes of dozens of people, hundreds, millions even, if it permits me to save him. And don’t say you don’t understand. I know we’re all the same.”
A smirk.
“We’d all leave the world to rot if it meant the ones we love were safe. And that’s how I love them.”
The bullet flew.
They heard the impact, the sound of shards… then, nothing.
Ryusei knew Kokonoi was right.
Baji and he… both of them, right now, they would do it too.
Ryusei only threw one glance in Baji’s direction before he focused again.
It was no surprise that the next tape holder happened to be Mitsuya.
Kakucho was taking a long time, Izana frowned, irritated.
It was that day, though. The day they had decided to officially form their gang, Tenjiku. Reunite the S-62 generation again. Kakucho shouldn’t be late.
Izana checked his watch one more time, his foot tapping against the concrete. He made a sign to his generals to wait for him. If Kakucho couldn’t bother to come on his own two feet, then fine. Izana would bring him, by the collar if it came to that. No big deal.
Kakucho’s apartment was unusually silent when he entered. Izana pocketed his double of the keys and stomped forward.
“Kakucho! Kakucho, where are you? Have you forgotten, or what!”
But Izana wasn’t ready for when he stumbled into the living room. He stopped by the door, his gaze only sweeping the place once before he noticed the red figure on the floor. He went straight for him, not sparing one glance to the filming material in the middle of the room.
“Oi, Kakucho, the hell are you doing sleeping on the floor-”
That’s when he noticed the blood.
There was a whole puddle of it, under Kakucho’s head. He hadn’t been able to see it due to Kakucho’s uniform, but…
Gods. That was blood.
“Kakucho!”
He lunged forward, kneeling close to his childhood friend, hastily shaking the man by his shoulders, noticing with growing horror how rigid they were. He blinked away the sight of all the redredred to check Kakucho’s pulse – why was he so cold ohgodohgod- – and he thought he was hallucinating when he didn’t feel anything.
Right, his glove. Izana took that off in a hurry, checking again.
“Oi, answer me! What happened! Stop sleeping and tell me! For fuck’s sake, don’t make me worry like that!”
This wasn’t blood, okay? It was just- just ketchup? Alright, no, it was too liquid for that- but it had dried off, mostly, so there was brown too- but it wasn’t blood! It must’ve been paint, right, paint felt like that.
The hole in Kakucho’s bared head was obviously an illusion, Izana hadn’t gotten much sleep that night.
No.
Kakucho couldn’t be dead. It was impossible. Kakucho had promised he would never leave him after all.
He wouldn’t have shot himself.
“Kakucho! Please stop joking! It’s not funny!”
But the gun still in his hand was real. The blood was real. Kakucho was pale, cold and rigid. But he couldn’t be- he couldn’t be dead. Izana hadn’t allowed it. So- he had to wake up, right?
Right?
No?
No.
An icy numb took control of Izana’s mind as he realized Kakucho’s heart wasn’t beating. Wouldn’t be beating anymore. Never again.
Wordlessly, he stood up. Slowly. He stared again, at the room, everything different. There was a tripod in the middle of the room. A camera. And there was an empty slot, in the midst of all the strings and the wires.
But next to that, only connected to a few wires, was a tape.
Izana approached it, walking closer. He picked it up and read the label, even if it was tainted by b- tainted red.
‘To my best friend, and my king,’ it said.
Izana felt numb. It was as though all the emotions he had been trying to control just a few moments before had gone dormant, just waiting for him to process.
Kakucho was dead.
And he’d left a message.
“Hey, Izana… I knew you’d be the one to find me first. And before you say anything… I’m really sorry. Alright? I didn’t mean for it to end that way.”
…
“You don’t believe me, do you? But it’s true. In the future… you’ll die.”
…
“And it’s because of me. You know, the king isn’t supposed to sacrifice for the servant”
A laugh.
…
“I’d do anything for you, Izana. But I don’t want you to die. That’s why I did this. I want you to be okay, here and in all the futures out there. But I know, despite what you’d like all of us to believe, I know you care. I always knew. And I know it’s not that easy to move on. Not for you.”
…
“If I told you Toman were involved, would you rush to take revenge?”
… Damn right.
“But it’s not their fault. You know, I have a childhood friend there, too. A nice guy. Even though I’d always choose you over anyone. Like now. I’m sad I won’t be able to see him again in this timeline, but if you’re alive, it’s still the best outcome.”
…
…
.
“I just wanted you to realize… Maybe they love you. I know a guy out there… never really talked to him, but if you heard him talk you would have known, how eager he was to meet you, and finally have someone else to bond with. Someone to grieve with too. You both- the three of you probably loved Shinichiro the same. You know what they said?”
…
“Family’s not about blood.”
..!
…
“You know what that means, Izana.”
“If it means you can be happy with a real family, no matter the blood ties that exist or not… I wish you would try. Because I know that when you realize it, it’ll be too late. So please. Take their hand…”
…
“I only did that because I knew they’d take care of you. They’ll love you enough for me too. Don’t lose hope… Please.”
…
“This was a message to my most important person, whom I hope will be the happiest king in all of history.”
…
Izana bit his lip to blood.
He was crying. Wasn’t he.
“What am I supposed to do now?”
There were two people in that room. One dead and one alive. But there was a hand on his shoulder.
One he hadn’t thought was so precious.
“Please… please don’t leave me.”
Notes:
Ahah.
Get ready for angst at the end of all chapters now.And remind me to write Chifuyu next chapter.
Chapter 35: V: Going Crazy.
Summary:
In between the lines, Chifuyu visits Kazutora again.
Chifuyu gets in trouble. He has no time for it.
Ryusei has enough... unfortunately, he's still figuring it out before anyone else can.
Notes:
HIIIIIII! Been a while!
Those who're suscribed to If I Needed to Fall know that I've become active again, and that all of it was Ryusei's fault. Then I started this chapter, and Mitsuya wasn't being cooperative with me, so I just shut him up. I like Mitsuya, and I had a lot planned for him, but I'm a bit tired of the tape so I'm just trying to go fast. Hope it's still impactful despite the change of style.
Also, go check If I Needed to Fall, people! It's all just Ryusei being difficult.
Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The boy from last time came back.
Kazutora didn’t know what to make of him at all.
The blond boy, looking even worse than before, took the seat in front of Kazutora. He didn’t glance up to meet his gaze. He kept looking at his hands.
Kazutora expected to feel uneasy, faced with this unfamiliar person who he had only met once before. But strangely enough, he actually felt comfortable. Like it was second nature to be at ease with the person in front of him.
What did he say his name was again?
Ah, yes. Kazutora remembered. He had had dreams about it.
Chifuyu.
He didn’t know why, the name seemed familiar for another reason… probably a coincidence.
Kazutora remained in mutism, waiting for the other boy to start talking like he did the previous time.
Which he did. Eventually.
“Hi,” Chifuyu started, wetting his lips once nervously, his blue-green eyes dulled. “I’m sorry about last time. I didn’t mean to… throw my whole life crisis at you.”
True, Kazutora thought to himself. It had been very weird. But some of that monologue from that time had echoed with Kazutora’s feelings. He had found himself off balance, ever since. Unsure of his own sentiments. But now, the mysterious boy was here again and… Kazutora felt a bit better, to be honest.
Kazutora inclined his head cautiously. Chifuyu seemed to take it as a sign, to resume.
“Actually, I think I confused you with someone else… a friend of mine,” Chifuyu admitted, and then, with eyes as placid as muddled water, he added quietly, “I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.”
Oh.
Something in Kazutora ached.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask. He’d rather not interact with anyone, after all. But for some reason, this kid had come back to talk to Kazutora… and Kazutora didn’t know what to make of that.
Kazutora probably looked like that guy. That, or it was the look in his eyes. Kazutora couldn’t see it, but after the last visit of the boy, he’d found himself imagining it. Being more aware of himself.
Gods, he must look pathetic.
“He was a good person,” Chifuyu volunteered the information. “Even though he killed… he killed two persons, one of which was precious to me. It wasn’t his fault.”
Kazutora felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, depriving him of air.
He didn’t like this story. Stop it. Stop it, no, not this story.
But Chifuyu didn’t take the hint.
“He seemed to think it was his fault,” he continued, looking elsewhere, lost in another time. “So much… so much that his mind started to protect itself by redirecting all the guilt to someone else.”
Kazutora didn’t like that story.
Why?
It felt like an accusation. Was it an accusation?
Oh. No. It didn’t. It sounded sad… and it was about someone else. Not Kazutora. Why would it have been about Kazutora?
Someone else.
Someone that this person didn’t blame.
As though he read his mind, Chifuyu chuckled weakly.
“Truth is, I blamed him for some time.”
Oh.
But then Chifuyu said:
“That’s normal. I was sad, angry… I was grieving too. I wish I could’ve done better, but I’m just a person. And it was probably better for the two of us to keep our distances at the time,” he murmured. “Also because he was grieving too. In his own way. He had no one.”
A bit like Kazutora. He had no one.
He didn’t have Baji, Kazutora internally shook his head. He didn’t need Baji. He didn’t need anyone. They all thought it was his fault. It wasn’t. So he didn’t need any of them. He’d leave them all behind. He was all alone, but it was by choice.
“I isolated myself,” Chifuyu said, and Kazutora felt a shiver run under his skin. “I blamed myself too. But I was lucky; I had something else to focus on. I had my revenge. My anger. But that too, faded with time. And then, I was only clinging to a purpose.”
The air was running short.
“I’m sorry. None of this interests you, probably. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. I’m sorry it had to be you. You didn’t deserve for me to dump all my problems on you. You probably have enough of those to deal with on your own.”
It felt strange.
Chifuyu was basically a stranger to Kazutora. And Kazutora was a stranger to Chifuyu. But strangely enough, it was like Chifuyu felt better confiding in the stranger that was Kazutora rather than any of the people he actually cared about.
In the same way, hearing Chifuyu talk of completely foreign problems to Kazutora made him want to reach out. It made him feel like he could understand.
What happened after? He almost wanted to ask. He restrained himself.
“That’s when my friend found me,” Chifuyu revealed, resuming where he’d left off. “He had the feeling that he was indebted to me. And then he probably realized that I wasn’t actually all there. But he didn’t try to destroy my walls. I’m grateful for him, for his subtle kindness. Do you know, perhaps… the impression that someone is willing to listen to you, should you want it?"
Oh. Kazutora knew that feeling. It was, it was…
It was Baji all over again.
But not just that.
“My friend was that for me. We both felt so fucking guilty,” Chifuyu swore quietly. “We weren’t even doing anything, except little things here and there. But I think we helped each other.”
It sounded familiar.
“But then, I went and ruined everything. I hope it’s not too mad at me. I…”
Chifuyu swallowed painfully.
He had all of Kazutora’s attention.
“I left him all alone.”
Separation. Guilt. Sadness.
Concern. Pure concern.
Tears shone in the blue-green eye, just before it shut closed. Kazutora gazed dazedly over the figure of Chifuyu, trying to hold back the emotion.
He felt like those words weren’t just about Chifuyu. Like…
The feelings Chifuyu felt for his lost friend. It was like Kazutora could feel them, too. They washed over him like a wave of kindness, one so light he almost didn’t feel it, soft and encompassing.
That person was lucky, to have such a caring friend. Whoever they were.
Chifuyu shook his head, as if to clear it.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I… something’s wrong with me. I keep- thinking about it. All the things I’ve left behind and… I feel like I’m losing my mind, sometimes. I’m trying to fight it but… it always comes back to this. I just…”
He looked absolutely dejected… and lost, too. Lost to time.
“I just wanted to help…”
Right. Kazutora had just wanted to help…
Wait. No. This was about Chifuyu. Chifuyu? Kazutora looked up.
“I… they did warn me, I guess. That I might lose it. But I really just want to help. I don’t… I don’t want anymore of my friends to die. Sometimes it feels like it’s too much, like I’ve had enough, and then I remember my friends who’re waiting for me, who don’t understand why I’m like this.”
Chifuyu took a great inspiration. Kazutora’s breath was locked in.
Why did the words echo so much in him?
He remembered Baji, waiting for him outside, not understanding why Kazutora rejected him.
“I don’t want to tell them,” Chifuyu confessed, his head lowered. “I already feel so ashamed of myself. I don’t want… them to see me differently.”
Shame.
That too. The word panged in Kazutora’s chest.
“But… they deserve to know. I’m their friend, they’ll suffer too if I suffer. I can’t… I just have to finish this. After this, I’ll…”
Chifuyu’s hand went to reach inside his jacket.
…Then, his eyes went wide.
“What-”
He stood up suddenly, Kazutora raising his head to follow his abrupt movements. He seemed in a panic.
“It’s not there. It’s not there!” the boy repeated chaotically, searching his clothes for a few seconds before his eyes locked on the far wall, lost and in shock. “I can’t have… I’m sorry! I’ll come back, I just need to look for something first!”
Chifuyu left, running, the guards next to the door admonishing him as he passed them. As Kazutora was ushered back inside the facility, he couldn’t help but wonder about that boy and his story.
Would they forgive him if he gave them enough time? If he gave himself enough time?
That night, he dreamed of the blue-green-eyed man again. The man had been waiting outside some jail, in a car, and Kazutora was there… and the man, Chifuyu, was smiling.
“Need a ride?”
He dreamed, and dreamed.
Chifuyu couldn’t find anything. Any kind of clue as to where Ryusei – and Baji – had gone. One would argue that his panic induced state could not pick on the clues, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Ryusei had the tape, probably, and that Chifuyu could not – would not – let him watch it.
Not yet. Just a bit longer.
In the end, Chifuyu found himself tracing back to Ryusei’s home, where the boy’s mother opened the door to him. But Ryusei wasn’t there.
“I’m sorry,” Chifuyu threw at her when she tried to flirt with him like she usually did in his memories, “It’s really urgent, I have to go.”
He could try to hack his phone, but he found himself reluctant to do that. It would take too much time. Time that he didn’t feel like he had. He ran back to school, feeling his body’s stamina deteriorate as the minutes passed. It wasn’t what it was when he was an adult, but he didn’t think that it’d take so little to run out of breath. It wasn’t important.
What about the soccer club?
It must have been nearly two hours now, since their disappearance.
Logically speaking, Chifuyu should warn someone.
Chifuyu wasn’t being logical right now.
He climbed to the roof, and screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Ryusei! Baji! Please for fuck’s sake where are you!”
It didn’t work.
“Matsuno-kun?”
He turned back like a whip to meet the disapproving eye of his homeroom teacher – at least Chifuyu thought that was them, he didn’t remember well enough – which very quickly morphed to concern.
“It’s not allowed for students to be here- wait. Are you alright?”
Chifuyu only took the time for a breath.
“Yes, I’m alright. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. I have to go…”
But when Chifuyu tried to speedwalk past the teacher, said person blocked their way.
“No, boy. Come with me, you look like you’re going to be ill. To the infirmary, now.”
Chifuyu was going to be ill. But the sooner he’d find his tape, the less he was going to throw up. Simple math. But his teacher wouldn’t let him leave like that. They accompanied him to the infirmary, where the nurse took one look at him and started agitating themselves around him.
He must really have looked like the dead, because soon it came to a head.
“Let me call your parents.”
Chifuyu immediately stood up.
“No! There’s no need!” he pleaded.
But there was no denying how unsteady he was on his feet. Instinctively, his methodical mind went back on track to check on his wound, maybe it had gotten infected- but no, a doctor had checked on that, everything was fine except for the smashed bone that needed surgery apparently. It was probably the panic. Oh. He was having a panic attack. A silent one.
Chifuyu willed himself to calm down. But, by the time he felt a bit better, the nurse had already contacted his mother.
“She’s coming,” the nurse said with what might have been a reassuring smile.
Chifuyu saw none of it.
He looked at his arm, plastered in place, and thought, shit.
Not only had Chifuyu failed to retrieve the tape, but now his mother was also about to find out what he had been doing all along just under her nose.
This can’t be happening.
Chifuyu remembered another time, a future in which he had left his home leaving behind only a letter and his phone, in the dead of night, for his mother to find, as he took the initiative to leave to keep her safe from the malevolent organization that Toman had been becoming. He hadn’t talked to her since then… Now she was coming.
Chifuyu was done for.
“Hey,” Mitsuya greeted them with a wave of the hand and a warm but tired smile. “hello everyone.”
Ryusei shouldn’t have been surprised that Mitsuya was the next. After all, all the successive holders of the tape seemed to be connected to each other one way or another. Kokonoi had just spent the last few minutes expressing how much he appreciated Mitsuya.
But oh, Mitsuya had grown.
“As you can see, I’m an adult,” the man said. “If Inui’s and Kokonoi’s timeline was the eighth, I think mine must be the seventh. Let me give you some context. Kisaki was evinced from Toman a few years ago. Now Takemicchi also left, fed up with the way Toman was turning out to be. But the rest of us… Draken, Hakkai, Chifuyu, me, and a few others… we decided to stick with Mikey, even after Emma’s death. We knew it wasn’t going to end well from the start, but we accepted the risks.”
A choked breath.
“Even though I never expected things to go so badly. Everyone dies in the future, huh. Even Mikey, from what I’ve heard. It’s… I’d like to say it’s shocking, but maybe not that much. It’s just, the images are… the kind of thing that makes the sturdiest ones throw up. I would know.”
He looked sick.
Not just like Mikey and Draken did at the beginning of the tape. Mitsuya looked grey like it had become a permanent mark on his face.
“Honestly, I didn’t even think time travel was possible before this… I only remember my own future, by the way, I’m not one of those who know of the other timeline. It’s kind of weird by the way, when people tell you you live in a branch of what they call the main timeline.”
Admittedly.
Ryusei wasn’t sure he could bear another flock of timelines like the ones they’d had to watch until now, to be honest. He felt so tired already. It felt like they had been at it for hours. And when all his thoughts kept coming back to Chifuyu…
He knew he’d been acting irrationally. But, at the same time… he couldn’t bear the idea that…
Was he in denial?
Yeah. That sounded like it. But he didn’t care. Not right now. Probably because he didn’t have enough awareness to do so. He was so tired… He had enough.
He turned to Baji.
“You promise you’ll stay calm?”
Baji looked at him oddly.
“What? Yeah, but why?”
“Good,” Ryusei sighed, going to sit in one of these fancy red cinema seats. “I’m going to take a small nap for now. I can’t do this right now.”
He tuned out Baji’s blabbers and closed his eyes, feeling himself slip away into sleep almost immediately.
Unfortunately, it seemed even unconscious, his brain remained open to the images the tape had to give him.
They knelt on the ground in front of Mikey. He wore his blond hair short, but his gaze was freezing.
“Mikey…” Draken said, “You chose the path of violence. From now on, Mitsuya and me put our lives in your hands. It’s our choice.”
Mtsuya finished for him.
“But Mikey… Takemicchi is our leader. I don’t want him to end like us.”
“Don’t mix him up in our mess.”
In truth, Mitsuya thought, as Ryusei listened half-aware, I wanted all of them to stay out of it. This should have stayed between us founders. Now… all of them…
I wanted them to live.
The dream changed. It was Hakkai.
“I’m your lockscreen? Seriously? At least tell me it’s a good picture.”
“The best of all!” Hakkai grinned, and Mtsuya smiled at him fondly.
Then, it was him facing off the Black Dragons, Hakkai with him, and another girl – a Shiba – behind them, hurt. Ryusei could feel all the affection and protectiveness of the memories.
It changed again.
Chifuyu on a swing, silent. Mitsuya by his side, a hand on his head, comforting.
And then, it was the penthouse Hakkai had disappeared in, burning down in flames, Mikey only coming out of it. It was Smiley dying with his brother from one day to the other, with no warning.
It was Chifuyu smiling down at him, far older than Ryusei ever saw him, saying a casual goodbye as a message coming from Mikey asked him to meet him somewhere, for the last time. Both of them perfectly aware this was the last time they’d ever see each other alive.
It was Draken, found with a knife in his abdomen, like he hadn’t had enough of that in his life already.
Mitsuya had been the last. And he hadn’t regretted his decision… He just wished… that those who followed them in their doom had not taken the bullet with them. They had had nothing to do with all of this. Chifuyu, Hakkai, Angry and Smiley, not just Takemicchi. Inui too.
Everyone, dead.
Then… it was Mitsuya, painting a dragon on a wall. And Draken, calling him and suggesting him a meal with a broad smile. The Twin Dragons of Toman.
Everything, gone.
A loud sound woke Ryusei, and he didn’t feel like he had caught up on any sleep. He looked up at the screen, then Baji, shaken.
“What happened?”
“Mitsuya killed himself.”
The answer was delivered dully, brokenly. A foreboding feeling weighted in his stomach like lead. Ryusei feared the answer of his inquiries. He still asked.
“But why? Didn’t he know he could survive this?”
Baji shook his head with frustration.
“By the end of his… his whole thing, he seemed to be going crazy. Said he couldn’t bear it. That if he could change his future and the future of the other members just by dying early, it was still better than whatever the fuck would go on anyways.”
…Ah.
Going crazy.
Maybe Ryusei was being irrational… but…
His thoughts came back to Chifuyu.
Tell me you aren’t gone too.
The silence didn’t remain for long. Soon enough, the screen lit up once more, opening on another familiar face.
“Ah,” Hakkai smiled excitedly, “Yuzuha, it’s working!”
“Not a second too soon! Technology is so shitty…”
“Now, now…”
They look young. Very young. Did they both remember? Who was that girl again… Ah, right. The other Shiba. Yuzuha, they called her.
It made sense that they were the next. Mitsuya really carried them in his heart.
“Hello! Our names are Hakkai and Yuzuha, tho you probably already know that. Our brother’s not here today, thankfully. And just so you know, Yuzuha can remember the future, but I can only remember the main timeline. That’s how we call it, right?”
“Right. First of all, we wanted to thank Mitsuya, for everything he did for us in the future. And…”
Just like that, Ryusei let the sounds wash over him again.
Really. He didn’t think he could bear it anymore.
Haruchiyo wondered, when he pulled the trigger. Would his soul rejoin with the Sano’s, when he died?
Maybe. Who knew.
He wasn’t sure he cared anymore.
Soon enough, he stopped thinking altogether.
It was alright. No one would miss him.
At least, now, the last traces of the curse could disappear from this timeline with him.
Notes:
Ahah! So I'm back. Hopefully I'm going back to writing more than once half a year. See you soon!
Also, whoever said 'save' for the next word seems to be right ;D
Chapter 36: E: We killed him, nice and slow.
Summary:
Baji thinks about Mitsuya, and Yuzuha, and what happened to them.
Maybe Ryusei was right.
(but he wasn't going to give up.)
Chifuyu reflects on his past.
Notes:
Hey.
So. Today, I connected myself to my Genshin Impact account, thinking... it's late, maybe I can advance a bit in the main quest that I'm so late on, but not do most of it today, I'm tired and I don't have the mental capacity for this.
The game then proceeded to warp me into an endless war with endless deaths and despairs and made me cry all the tears of my body all the while I was fighting through said war, and then pouf, someone died, I sobbed, the music became epic, revenge happened, it was glorious, but also super sad, and I cried more, and 'no one fights alone', I cry, and 'For Natlan!' and I cry too, and then Mavuika has her reminiscences and I fucking cry and-
They're all fuckers, my friend. No one has any right to make me cry like that and so much. Also, by the end of the night I'd completed that quest.
. . .
I hate Hoyoverse so much.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Chifuyu!” Hakkai exclaimed with a smile, in the fifth part of their segment. “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. A bit funny too, when you get used to him. Some of you maybe remember Thousand Winters?”
Keisuke frowned in confusion.
What the fuck was that?
The girl, Yuzuha, seemed to be as confused as he was. He was glad he wasn’t the only one lost.
As for Ryusei, he sat behind Keisuke, his eyes closed. Keisuke didn’t know if he was still awake.
“What’s that?”
“It’s the name of our gang!”
Yuzuha blinked.
“Wasn’t it the Tokyo Manji?”
Hakkai smiled fondly.
“Yeah. But, two years after Toman got dissolved, Takemicchi, my onjin, he came back and recreated the gang with me, Inupi, Angry, and Chifuyu. And then some. Taka-chan came back too at the end. But before that, Chifuyu called the new gang Thousand Winters, and he even made some ridiculous T-shirts as uniforms. You should have seen them!” he laughed before he stopped. “Uh. Actually, it’s a good thing you didn’t. It was embarrassing.”
What was that supposed to mean?
Keisuke thought some about it. Thousand Winters, huh. Chi, Fuyu. He smirked
“Don’t say that. I’m sure he put effort into it.”
“Yeah… I mean, I know. We all put a lot of effort to hide our distaste… but nee-san, it was cute. A blue shirt with the icon of a black cat on it! It’s too cute! We’re warriors! Do you see me wearing something like that! Do you see me punching someone in the face with it? No way in hell!”
“Hey! Don’t underestimate what is cute! It must have been very pretty! I could hit you with a kitten drawn on my clothes and I’d be proud of it!”
“Uh…”
Right. A black cat? Must be Peke-J. No one was allowed to say Peke-J was ridiculous. Keisuke would also be proud to put cars on fire with Peke-J iconned on his shirt!
He found himself staring at the piece of clothing in Chifuyu’s hands. As he expected. Why were Hakkai and the Takemicchi guy looking so reluctant? How insulting. Chifuyu should have beaten them up.
“Ah, but thankfully Taka-chan-”
Keisuke worked his jaw as an awful memory flashed in front of his eyes. He shook it away.
Mitsuya was alive and well.
“…became in charge of that and we ended up changing names and uniforms. But it’s still nice to remember. Nice times… Especially compared to now.”
Their amused smiles fell.
“Except for all the people who died, of course,” was added as a whisper.
Yuzuha bit her lips.
“Let’s stop here for now.”
The segment cut. The next time it lit back up, she was the only one in front of the lens.
“I… I know what the rest of Toman seems to think of Kisaki,” she started. “He killed a lot of your friends, even indirectly, throughout all the timelines. And… I don’t regret not having killed Taiju in the end. Even if we will never be able to have a real relationship like siblings would… it’s alright.”
She raised her tired eyes toward the camera.
“But I can’t forget what he did for me.”
A phone. An e-mail.
A voice.
“I can tell you how to be free of him.
That way, you can kill him.”
“Kisaki helped me confront my brother. If I had been able to get my way, I would have killed Taiju. He gave me that opportunity. I know that, realistically, he was only manipulating me and Hakkai. However! If he hadn’t started it all, Hakkai and I would still be under Taiju’s influence forever. Takemichi would have never known to come and save us if Kisaki hadn’t planned Taiju’s murder. No matter what Hakkai says, I owe him my life,” she said with conviction.
There were tears in her eyes as she took the gun hidden in her skirt.
“At least, if Kisaki’s plan had gone right, Hakkai wouldn’t have died.”
She attempted a wicked smile at the camera through the sheen in her eyes, raising the gun to her head.
“Well. It’s time to end this now. Thanks, for giving us a chance to learn what our future could have been.”
Keisuke clenched his fists, looking away painstakingly.
Why?
Why did it always have to end like that? Didn’t they find a way to avoid it? Why did they all choose death still?
“I wanted to be there for them until the end,” Mitsuya admitted through his tears, “but I can’t bear it anymore. I can’t stand having to watch them die again. The images loop in my mind, before my eyes… it’s driving me crazy! I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Draken. I just hope… maybe my death will change something. Run, all of you, don’t die like this…”
He clenched his teeth as the gunshot echoed in his mind.
Why did they all end up so desperate that they had to end it all?
There were loud noises, but none were the sound of the trigger going off. Screams and shrieks echoed. Keisuke frowned when he realized it, raising his eyes to the screen yet again.
What he saw was Hakkai and Yuzuha struggling for the gun.
“Please, nee-san! It doesn’t have to come to that!”
“You don’t understand!” she shouted at him, her face drenched with her grief. “I can’t do this again! Taiju, the Black Dragons, Toman, Takashi, YOU! I can’t watch the both of you die again! You always leave me alone! It’s never going to end well for us, can’t you see?! Even Taiju died in the end!”
“That’s not right, nee-san! You’re not in your right mind. Please, ignore the images, ignore the noise! Talk to me! I promise you, it’ll be different this time! Don’t you trust me?”
“You died!”
“Please! Let that gun go! Wake up, Yuzuha, that’s not you!
“Please let me go, Hakkai… I can’t do it anymore, I can’t… I feel like I’m going crazy…”
Going crazy. Again.
Why?
Chifuyu… are you going crazy too, right now?
Oh, how Keisuke prayed. He prayed that Ryusei was wrong. That everything would end up well.
“I know… I know it’s difficult,” Hakkai whispered, overpowering Yuzuha and putting his forehead against her gently. “I know it might seem like everything’s bleak, right now. But you must trust in us. I’ll protect you- no, I’ll protect us. And onjin- I trust him too. I know Takemicchi will find our happy ending.”
“…What if he can’t?”
“Then… We’ll find our own, Yuzuha. I promise. Everything will be alright. One last time…”
He helped her manipulate the gun to target the tape.
“One last time…?”
“Yeah. Just one last time.”
Trembling like a leaf, she shot.
The screen went black once more.
Leaving Keisuke to his thoughts.
Baji wasn’t particularly intelligent. He knew that very well, didn’t try to deny it much anymore. But he couldn’t let anyone say he was an idiot.
He had to figure it out. There must be a reason.
Kokonoi talked about souls. He said… Keisuke tried to remember. He said that two identical souls might struggle against each other. It could be that. That could be why it happened to Yuzuha and Mitsuya but not Hakkai. That or the older identity dominated the other.
It was all about trauma, right? Whether the trauma from the future was more important than the identity and will to live.
“I’m going insane.”
A common feeling.
Shit. Keisuke couldn’t do this without Ryusei.
He tried to summon his memories. Anything that could give him a hint.
Because one thing was sure, he wasn’t going to live through the month without dragging Chifuyu with him, kicking and screaming if needed.
He remembered the day Chifuyu collapsed in the middle of the street, nearly not recognizing Ryusei and Keisuke when they tried to help. He remembered…
"You can say whatever, Matsuno, but a guy who hits his so-called best friend with a crowbar to the temple isn’t someone I’d trust with my childhood friend.”
With a hand on the table, he hunched over the younger, grabbing the collar of his clothes to drag him closer.
“What’s wrong with you!”
“Baji…-san?”
Keisuke stopped. He suddenly snapped out of it, his eyes widening, as he saw Chifuyu. Looked at him, again.
Chifuyu was staring at him as though he was an entirely different person. And… there was fear in his eyes, as they stared almost through him.
That time Chifuyu had been afraid of him, even for just an instant. Even when he had been trying hard to fit in with them. He remembered…
“I’m supposed to know how to do that shit. I knew they had guns, and I was fucking slow and stupid and I got hit like a damn beginner! How difficult is it to take cover, punch it out or just dodge! A gun is a gun! Like a gun’s a fucking big deal!” he screamed with that absolute anguish on his features and in his voice. “How shameful does it get when you don’t even get knocking someone out right! How’d you forget about something as goddamn obvious as a shiny firearm when it’s right in front of you! How shameful and so damnedly stupid is it to turn your fucking back to a conscious armed man! It’s a beginner mistake! It could’ve been fatal and I can’t believe I dishonored- that I dishonored him- you- that I- with my own carelessness, and how much more disappointing can I get in a single day!”
He remembered Chifuyu’s confusion about his own abilities, present and past expectations, his experience with guns.
The way he’s turned into a good little soldier under Keisuke’s anger
The way he’d turned quiet even when it was just the three of them.
He chuckled bitterly to himself.
Okay. Alright. Chifuyu checked all the boxes.
Once again, Ryusei had realized all of this before he even began to think of it. He turned to the somnolent boy. He hadn’t bothered to wake him up because Ryusei needed that break. Truth was, they both needed it. But Ryusei, in Keisuke’s opinion, needed to cleanse his mind a bit.
Before Keisuke could think about all of this more, the screen caught his attention again. There was someone new, he noticed, someone he’d never seen before. But this one specifically, looked slightly… off.
“Hi,” the man said, with an off-putting grin. “You don’t know how lucky the rest of you are.”
Huh.
Weird way to start, but okay.
“I’m Hanma Shuji. What you’ve got going there is very amusing, honestly, and I like what’s entertaining. Imagine how easily it could have gone to shit just because it ended on Kisaki’s desk. That guy’s been a certain amount of no fun, recently.”
The grin turned carnal.
“He’d have destroyed the thing.”
Keisuke narrowed his eyes.
Originally, he had no idea who Hanma, or Kisaki was. But the more he heard about the latter, the more hostile and wary he felt himself becoming toward that peculiar individual.
Kisaki. Who was that person, and what did he hope to do with Toman?
Keisuke clicked his tongue in annoyance.
“You’re all so lucky he thought it was one of mine. Your little game sounds like I could join in. I don’t have a real interest in your thing, time travel, but it’s not like it’s gonna change my current life. More importantly, I’ve nothing to do. I don’t like being bored. So… let’s start with some basic logic.”
And that guy too didn’t inspire any sort of faith.
“I didn’t really bother to follow all the shit about which timeline who was in, I’m just going to calculate it now. It’s easy. The trigger for the eighth timeline was Hanagaki explaining this whole thing to Mikey. The trigger for the seventh timeline was Hanagaki saving the Shiba siblings from self-destroying due to Kisaki’s tricks. Then, that means the sixth timeline’s trigger would be… Hanagaki saving Kazutora from death.”
Keisuke jolted.
Kazutora would die?
No. What?
Had he heard that one before? No. Kazutora had always been alive in the future.
Keisuke took a breath in.
Would this stupid curse then never stop stealing his loved ones from him?
“And the fifth timeline’s trigger is the survival of Draken. Mh… I think I’m from the sixth timeline. And let me tell you, people, it’s boring as heck. The only nice thing that happens is when I get to torture traitors and pig spies.”
Shuddering, Keisuke told himself that he really, really didn’t like that guy.
That horrible smirk widened again, and the next words were enough to make him want to throw up.
“So you see, right now? I’m on the run. The police got on Toman’s case. I don’t know how he did it, but it’s not Kazutora’s survival that caused Toman to fall when in all the previous timelines it held strong. Let me tell you, in my opinion Kazutora was the trigger, surely, but not the cause. And that cause is named Matsuno Chifuyu.”
Chifuyu.
Keisuke turned around like a whip, shaking Ryusei arm urgently.
“Ryusei,” he called, as the other boy got chaotically pulled from his sleep. “Wake up. I think this is important.”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you all about that guy, ‘cause he’s one of the very few interesting things that still happen around here. And while I’m at it, I’ll also tell you how we killed him, nice and slow.”
Baji’s blood turned cold.
Ryusei paled.
He repeated.
“…What.”
Chifuyu felt anxious.
Like a caged wolf.
Just a few minutes had passed since he’d been caught by his home teacher and been put under the nurse’s charge. He had been able to retain a normal breathing, and his head wasn’t swimming anymore. However, he remained alert, and anxious.
Trapped.
Just twenty more minutes before his mother arrived.
His hand clutched his immobilized arm. What a shame. He’d been doing such a good job staying under her radar since he came back. He couldn’t imagine confronting her now. How long had it been since he had heard her scold him or yell at him? Too long, probably. He had missed her so much. Being with her again after all these years had been a small blessing, something he had never thought could be possible again. But she had been there. Exhausted in her bed. Dining with him and his friends. Reminding him to do his homework and telling him where the food was.
But even so, he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to talk to her. Not like this. Not like before.
He didn’t remember how he used to do it.
Frustration took hold of him. He couldn’t escape. They wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t impossible, of course… but if he did, he would just make things worse. He couldn’t afford bystanders to stop him from accomplishing his goal. God knew his mother wouldn’t let him out anymore if she realized what he’d been up to while he was away. She’d closed her eyes when it was about Toman, and he’d never told her about the more dangerous altercations they had gotten themselves in, but this was different.
He had to find a way out of this. Hopefully there would be no need for missing child forms. The last thing Chifuyu wanted on his trail was the police. But if it came to that…
“Matsuno-kun?”
“What?” he replied, toneless.
His home teacher was back… with the school psychologist.
Shit.
“I wanted to know how you were holding up.”
“I’m fine, sensei.”
“…Good. Take some time to rest, still. This is… you remember her, right?”
No, Chifuyu didn’t really remember her. Only that this person had been following him all throughout middle school because of his behavioral issues, and that it had been really annoying how she had tried to poke at his psyche back then. But no more than that. It had been too long, and Chifuyu had had much more annoying people trying to poke at his psyche since then.
“Yes,” he answered dutifully nonetheless.
“Great. She will stay with you until your parent is here. It would be ideal if you accepted to talk to her, as soon as you’ve regained some color.”
For fuck’s sake, did Chifuyu look ill or something? He looked down, avoiding their gaze.
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel like talking.”
“It’s okay,” the woman said, “take your time.”
Well… take his time he would.
Hopefully he could slip away once she and his mother started talking.
Hajime was satisfied with his current life.
He had people around him, he was making money, things were looking up… it didn’t matter that the people he had chosen to follow were slowly sinking, that his path looked darker and darker. It wasn’t like he would ever be anything better. He only lived for money now. The best he could do was to follow Mikey. And then, at least…
Someone grasped at his arm.
He whipped around, tugging his sleeve away from the firm grip but failing. He was met with two blue-green eyes anchored in his own, a head or so smaller than him.
“Matsuno?” he called in confusion. “What… what the fuck are you doing here?”
That was the fucking middle of a Kanto Manji meeting spot! God knew how Matsuno managed to slip into this unnoticed!
But it didn’t matter.
“You need to leave.”
But Matsuno shook his head.
“Can I talk to you? I promise it won’t take long.”
Hajime prepared to shake him off. But then Matsuno added:
“It’s about Inui.”
Inupi.
That name made Hajime pause.
Hajime had abandoned Inupi, for this life. But… did something happen?
No. Hajime kept himself in check. It wasn’t his role anymore to care about Inupi. He’d left that – him – behind a long time ago. Things were just starting to change with the Kanto Manji-Kai, Hajime couldn’t afford to be distracted now. And he couldn’t afford to involve Inupi either.
“I’m better off without Inupi,” he told Matsuno.
Inupi was better off without him.
“What makes you think I’ll care?”
“You’ll listen at least.”
Matsuno looked calm, serious… determined. It wasn’t an unfamiliar look. Matsuno was the kind of guy who liked to know what he was doing. Hanagaki had been his exception, because of how reckless that guy was. But… Matsuno was the kind of person that enticed others to listen to him. His words often had… weight.
If Matsuno had taken the risk to sneak into Mikey’s new violent and murderous gang to talk to him, then it must be important.
Matsuno didn’t wait any longer, taking Hajime’s silence for agreement to resume.
“Inui said he found a tape with you, years ago.”
Hajime blinked. The images – traumatic – came back to him, but he blinked them away just as fast.
“Why would he-”
“He’s using it again. Look, I know you don’t want to be involved in our shit, but I think you’ll want to make an exception for him. I can’t think of anyone else who could stop him.”
Stop him?
“What do you know?” Hajime hissed.
Matsuno held his gaze steadily.
“Not much about that tape,” he answered steadfast. “But I know about time leaping. I know how it goes.”
How it went. How time travel went.
To save them, the tape must be sent back in time.
It must be sent back by…
Hajime paled.
“He wouldn’t.”
“He would,” Matsuno insisted, before taking a step back, giving him space. “Kokonoi, I’m just here to warn you. This is your last chance to see him. If you don’t take it now, know you’ll probably never see him again.”
Hajime had always planned never to see Inupi again. But this was different. Inupi was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be free, of both Hajime and the ghost of Akane that floated over Hajime’s shoulder. What was he doing now?
This shouldn’t have happened.
“Why are you telling me?” Hajime whispered, dumbstruck, to Matsuno.
“Trust me, I wouldn’t if it were up to me. But you’re important to Inui. Draken and I, as his friends… we thought you should know.”
Hajime…
He couldn’t let it happen.
“Where’s he now? When-”
“We don’t know. There might not be much time left. As for the place… I think only you know.”
Hajime took off running.
He knew where Inupi was hiding. He didn’t care if he was missing an important Kanto Manji event, or some fight, or anything, he didn’t care if anyone saw him disappearing, he just needed to get to Inupi in time.
As he ran like he never did before, his hand went to check at his belt for the new killing instruments Kanto Manji had been giving its members. The palm of his hand found the gun, taking it out from where it laid as he directed himself to his and Inupi’s old hideout. He’d never thought he’d find his way down there again.
He prayed to all the nonexistent gods he had sworn to himself never to pray to again, don’t take him from me. Not again. Not him.
Anyone but him.
“Koko… no, Hajime,” he heard, and his heart skipped a beat.
He came closer. He could hear Inupi’s voice, faintly, from far away. Inupi was still alive.
Just another few seconds.
“I hope, if a next life exists, that we can meet again.”
NO!
Hajime wouldn’t let him. Anything but that.
“Like I said, I did everything I could.”
Please no.
Kokonoi reached for the door.
“So both of you… Don’t be sad for me, alright? Takemichi, Koko…”
And he slammed it open.
He aimed before he could even make sense of what he was looking at. Inupi was there, sitting, with a gun to his temple. Looking at him in awe, like Hajime was but a hallucination.
Like hell Hajime was going to let Inupi die like that.
“Koko?”
He adjusted his aim.
Inupi understood what he was doing.
“No!” he struggled to stand, “Koko, don’t-”
Hajime fired. The shot flew through the tape. And everything stopped for half a second.
Inupi stood. Alive.
Hajime only gave himself time for one breath before he lunged forward like another bullet, tumbling over the table and the material to reach Inupi, taking him hostage in his arms.
“Koko?!”
Thank god.
Hajime was on time.
“Thank god you’re okay…”
“Koko, what…”
Hajime distanced himself to take in Inupi, alive, blood flowing through his veins, his pretty blue eyes open and wide, blinking in incomprehension, his short puffs of air as he breathed through the emotion, his hands hovering frantically around Hajime like they didn’t know what to do with him.
Inupi was alive. Hajime had saved Inupi, again.
And this one, this wasn’t a mistake.
“What did you think you were doing!” he yelled ferociously at his friend.
“I… I… What are you doing here, Koko?”
“One of your friends told me everything. Answer me, Inupi, I thought we agreed never to touch this fucking tape again!”
Inupi had started to regain his wits. He quickly flew in a rage as well.
“What did you do?!” he asked horrified. “You- you don’t understand how important that tape was for us-”
“And YOU don’t understand how much more important YOU are to ME!” Hajime cut him off with a sharp retort. “Did you think your life was replaceable, or something? That no one would miss you? For fuck’s sake what were you thinking? I’m not the one who put all these crazy ideas inside your head, I know I never said anything like that!”
“You didn’t need too!” the words pierced his heart like knives, “It was obvious, I’m nothing but a mistake, is it really that bad if I die for something good?”
“I don’t care about all the good you would have done to the world by dying, to hell with that!” Hajime retorted, “they can all die for all I care, you’re not allowed to die, ever. You’re not a mistake. I’ll punch it into your face if that’s what you need to understand, I care about you! Not Hanagaki, not Mikey, not fucking money, not Akane, Seishu, YOU!”
And, all of a sudden, it was all silent, the only sounds being their strained breathings as they panted, shock painting Seishu silent. Hajime gritted his teeth, taking the young man by the shoulders.
“So don’t, ever, do that again. Am I understood?”
“…I-”
“Never.”
Inupi… Seishu, started crying.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”
Hajime let him sob against his chest, embracing him tightly. Feeling the warmth of the body against his, the shivers agitating it, the sounds escaping from it.
Seishu was alive.
Hajime had been ready to hand himself to the devil for at least that.
Maybe… just maybe he needed to hold that hand in his, for it not to slip away.
“You can’t die, please,” he murmured to him. “You’re the only thing I’ve left. You weren’t supposed to hurt yourself.”
A litany of sorry’s continued to answer him. He didn’t mind.
“Let’s talk, alright? Later.”
Sobs, against his chest.
But a small nod, too.
For now, that was enough.
Notes:
Hi! Drink tea! It's that time of the year where your throat hurts like hell. No, not because you've been crying because of this fic-
Chapter 37: D: An eye for an eye.
Summary:
Hanma expresses his point of view.
No one wanted it.
Unfortunately they also all need it.
No one wants to be Hanma when Baji and Ryusei find him in real life.(summaries are supposed to be serious here but somehow I feel like I failed to achieve that this time)
Notes:
This chapter draft is titled: D: Hanma is such a creep
And somehow that makes me laugh.Warning: Hanma.
No seriously he's creepy. But not too much yet. But you can feel it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“What.”
“I’ll also tell you about how we killed him, nice and slow.”
It took some time for Ryusei to process the words. Someone… died? And this man there killed them?
And… Baji had just woken him up. Because of what this man was saying.
…No.
“Baji, who is that guy talking about?” he straightened up immediately, but Baji was already not looking at him anymore, instead choosing to glare ferociously at the screen. “Baji!”
He rose to put a hand on Baji’s shoulder, only receiving a stiff jolt in response.
Ryusei must have misunderstood. It couldn’t have been-
“That man killed Chifuyu,” Baji growled by his side.
It was.
Oh Gods it was.
Ryusei stepped away as if burned. He turned his gaze to the unsavory man shown on screen, pausing for dramatic effect, and the first thought that crossed Ryusei at the sight of him was this.
I’ll kill him.
He recomposed himself to the best of his abilities the next moment.
“Ours?” he questioned seriously.
The slightest shake of the head answered him.
“I don’t know yet. But honestly, I don’t care. It’s Chifuyu.”
Ryusei found himself agreeing with Baji this time. At this point in time, it didn’t matter at which branch of time this would happen, it remained a possible future. Even without considering that, who did that man think he was? To come and flaunt their Chifuyu’s death at his hands?
The man’s smirk widened further, a sadistic glint sparking up in his eyes.
How dared he!?
Ryusei had to rationalize within his own mind that he could not decently break someone’s skull through a screen.
“Now,” the man drawled. “You know me… most of you do, anyways. Y’all know I thrive off excitement, it’s obvious why I answer to Kisaki when you think about it… I’m not here to teach you about myself, mind you. That’d be so boring, for you as for me. I’m just trying to get the point across. All of you from Toman are all so, so boring it’s crazy. About your friendship and loyalty… The only thing you and I have in common is that we like to fight. We like… the thrill of it,” there it was again, and Ryusei wanted to be sick.
Except that he had nothing to throw up anymore because he had already emptied his stomach earlier. Experience told him heaving out on an empty stomach was not pleasant, therefore Ryusei tried to reign the feeling in.
Whoever was that guy, Ryusei was already half certain that their appreciation of a good fight was not similar in any way. Toman fought to protect their own. Ryusei had fought to protect his own. Obviously that man wasn’t about that at all.
“And… well. Toman changed a lot with time, thanks to Kisaki. There’s no much real big fight anymore, it’s gotten a bit redundant. So I got to find myself some new entertainment that’ll last, you get my point? Kisaki doesn’t really spend time around here anymore. So I have a few people I keep in mind. I could list them to you, if you want? Mikey was definitely interesting when he was around. So dual inside… My fists itch just thinking about it,” the man shivered in a way that made Ryusei feel repulsed. “I still remember the fight I had with him when we were teenagers. I think we were evenly matched. It was a delicious night, that one.”
A flash of rain, the focused and very irate black opaque gaze of Mikey standing right in front of him, and someone yelling about Draken.
“Where do you think you’re going? We’re not done yet!” a sick laugh.
Ryusei shook his head in disgust to throw away the last dregs of the memory lurking in his mind. That man’s perspective was definitely… unpleasant.
“That Hanma guy talks like he’s part of Toman,” Baji commented with gritted teeth and wary eyes, “but he looked like he was our enemy in his memories. How the hell did he get in?”
Oh. So the name of the man was Hanma. Good to know. …No, actually Ryusei could have gone his entire life without learning that person’s name.
“Maybe we conquered his gang,” he suggested, not very focused.
“Yeah, maybe. But that guy seems to follow Kisaki, and from what I’ve heard of him, he’s not someone Toman is very fond of. I can’t make sense of why the bastard was in Toman too.”
Ryusei paused. Baji had a point. There was little sense in the whole story. Not only that, but a Toman who didn’t fight anymore?
There was something fishy underneath this.
Ryusei was pretty sure Mikey had enounced which timelines were what, but by now Ryusei had long forgotten and couldn’t remember what this timeline – which was it? – was about.
“Baji, what’s the timeline?”
Baji frowned.
“Sixth, I think. Might still be seven, but if the guy said he fought Mikey while they were both teenagers and he’s an adult now, it’s probably a new timeline compared to the last segment.”
“Sometimes I forget you have a brain.”
For once, Baji didn’t comment on the backhanded compliment.
“Then there was Draken… a bit too right in his shoes for me, though, even though he was hella strong. He’s in jail now anyways. Mitsuya Takashi broke quite quickly once his dear Hakkai was corrupted, absolutely no duality to speak of. There was Smiley’s twin, I quite liked him, but Smiley smuggled him out before I could get a good read of him. The small guy that Kisaki was interested in and considered his sworn enemy, the pathetic one… Takemichi. He was a weakling with too much courage for his own good. Not very interesting, but I guess it’s remarkable. At any rate, I don’t know what happened, but some switch got turned off and now it’s just a random coward I don’t really want to talk about. I don’t even know what beef Kisaki had with the guy, it doesn’t really matter to me. No, what matters slightly more to me is Hanagaki Takemichi’s second in command.”
A perverted grin elongated behind Hanma’s lips after he licked them. Ryusei’s skin crawled at the sight.
“Matsuno Chifuyu’s the name.”
Stay away from him! Ryusei wanted to yell, fuming. But he still retained the rational knowledge that shouting at someone who wasn’t actually there was not a fructuous endeavor.
Baji seemed to agree with the overall sentiment, though, his fists clenched like he wanted to punch something into smithereens.
“I really want him to take Chifuyu’s name out of his mouth,” the older one hissed, and Ryusei nodded.
Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do, the suspicious individual seemed determined to talk about their friend.
“Now, I was already very interested in Matsuno before I learned of the existence of this tape. My… interest,” Ryusei cringed, “goes back all the way to middle school in fact. But I admit, watching the tape, I was very surprised, and the entertainment it brings me only grew. In all the possible timelines that have been showed in there, the person called Matsuno Chifuyu is a good individual and a caring friend… I didn’t expect that. After giving it some thought, I happened to the conclusion that this would have been Matsuno’s natural state of being. And that’s really interesting, because in that case he should have been just as depressed as Mitsuya Takashi in this timeline. But that isn’t the case. So, I reevaluated all my interactions with the man, and now I have come to the conclusion that Matsuno, to my pleasant surprise, is actually a very adaptable human being. It’s all the more impressive,” Hanma clapped, “that he was able to survive for so long in our timeline.”
It was true that Chifuyu was very adaptable, Ryusei could only agree in the privacy of his mind. Chifuyu had always been a lone wolf type of fighter. Fighting one against one, not needing to care about anyone but the people he was potentially protecting. And then, he came into Toman and learned how fighting in groups was meant to be done. And all in all, he had adapted very well. Like a natural. That was something impressive about Chifuyu. How he shifted himself to welcome his new surroundings or the people he interacted with.
He was also very gifted in manipulating the interaction context to remain in the zone he felt safest in. With the first division, it often equaled to a bickering dynamic, Ryusei realized. As for with Baji, Chifuyu’s eager behavior was enough to keep their dynamic safe and stable, complete.
Following where the trail of thought led him, Ryusei once again realized how much Chifuyu unknowingly did on a daily basis to protect his privacy.
Thinking about it, it was a thing the current Chifuyu didn’t really do anymore… at least not around him and Baji. Was there a reason why… No. Now was not the time.
If he kept getting distracted, he might miss some important clue regarding Chifuyu’s situation in the future.
Unfortunately, it seemed Hanma had not finished spewing his bullshit about Chifuyu just yet.
“He attracted my attention the first time I met him, actually. It was all in the eyes,” Hanma pointed at his own eyes for emphasis. “I didn’t really think too much of it back then, but it was definitely where the flame sparked.”
Ryusei found himself pulled into another memory, unprepared.
He took a look around. There was Baji- wait, there was Baji? What was Baji doing in… in an abandoned place filled with suspicious looking hoodlums? He stood in the center of them all. Ryusei quickly realized this was the memory-Baji, not the Baji he knew who must be another projection like Ryusei was. How did it feel for Baji to see himself like that? Was it like looking in a mirror?
More importantly, Baji was staring fixedly at one point- Hanma, standing on a vantage point compared to the rest of the crude delinquents assembled in the abandoned arcade.
“Actually,” Hanma’s voice made all others shut down. “There’s something you need to do before you can officially join Valhalla.”
Wait. Baji was joining another gang? That sounded… mildly familiar, but still as out of character as the first time Ryusei heard it. This actually happened, it dawned on him. Not that he had thought it was only a sick joke before, but… seeing it for real was different.
So, Hanma led the enemy gang Baji had joined back then. Ryusei suddenly felt very validated in hating him at first sight, with or without the man mentioning killing Chifuyu.
But what did that have to do with Chifuyu?
Ryusei could feel Hanma’s bore as he spoke with a lazy smile.
“Nothing much. Just proved to us that your faith has changed. Trample on it with no hesitation. Ah, just in time.”
Two young men entered the arcade. No, three, the third was being dragged in. Ryusei thought he was familiar… he realized with horror who it was when the boy was thrown forward on his knees, to the floor. He immediately went to stand up, but one of the guys who dragged him in went to restrain his arms as he struggled. He already looked mildly banged up, and when he looked up, Ryusei felt liquid horror bleed into his veins.
Chifuyu.
His gaze scanned the room immediately, falling minutely on Baji before he looked at Hanma, recognizing him as the master of the gang.
His blue green glare held a smoldering heat inside of it.
“You…!”
Seemed like Chifuyu at the very least recognized Hanma. Ryusei didn’t like what was happening. And why wasn’t Baji moving to help Chifuyu?
“Me,” Hanma grinned wildly before turning back to Baji. “The test of faith is simply. Walk on the flag of your past faith before you can brandish our own. Was I clear?”
Chifuyu once again gave Baji a surprised glance, murmuring a small, “Baji…?” but ultimately his glare found Hanma again, unleashing his rage on him as he understood what was being asked of his captain.
Baji kept his face unnaturally neutral for a few seconds before he smirked at Hanma.
“I’m not sure, actually. What am I supposed to do with that?”
Baji had understood, but was purposefully being obtuse. But it didn’t reassure Ryusei that whatever this sick game was wasn’t going to happen. Chifuyu set his jaw at the undertone of Baji’s appellation of him, but otherwise neither of them reacted as they should have. Instead, a hint of understanding lit up in Chifuyu’s eyes as he once again let them glide back to Baji’s figure, before they went back to virtually killing Hanma in at least thirty different ways, looking even more irate and indignant than before.
“Beat your vice-captain until he can’t breathe and maybe I’ll let you join. You got that one?” blunt and mocking.
Oh. How Ryusei wanted to kill him.
“I’m not sure, actually. What am I supposed to do with that?”
Keisuke flinched at the sneer in his own voice. Why wasn’t Chifuyu protesting? What was he doing?
“Beat your vice-captain until he can’t breathe and maybe I’ll let you join. You got that one?”
Keisuke turned his glare onto the sadistic young man grinning arrogantly in the corner of the room, wishing he could set him on fire. He couldn’t understand what was happening. This couldn’t be what he thought it was. His future self would never condone something like this.
Or, or maybe he would, for very specific reasons. But Chifuyu shouldn’t be sitting here and taking it! Why was he just waiting for Keisuke to speak?
Keisuke – the projection – turned to Chifuyu, but was once again put out by the fierce blue fire in his eyes as he kept them fixed on Hanma. Baji could feel Hanma’s mild curiosity at the sight of Chifuyu. Shouldn’t the boy feel betrayed? Was he still in denial?
But no, even when the memory-Keisuke grinned carnally and cracked the joints of his knuckles, turning to Chifuyu and speaking some more insulting bullshit about liking this development, Chifuyu didn’t budge.
It was like he already knew why Keisuke was going to beat him up. Like he didn’t blame him. All the fury and the rage evaporated in thin air as soon as his gaze met Keisuke’s, like Keisuke was only ever deserving of his utmost respect.
Throughout the whole exchange, Chifuyu kept his glare laser-focused on Hanma, his irises almost glowing with the electric charge of his hatred. He didn’t break eye-contact, up until he was thrown up to stand in the middle of the empty space to face Keisuke.
Even then, Chifuyu did not raise his fists, instead opting not to meet Keisuke’s gaze forward.
Like it would make it easier.
What was he thinking?
The worst was, Hanma seemed to ask himself the same question. What was this boy, Matsuno, doing? What could be going through his head as he faced his captain who had betrayed him? The boy had been thrown in a cage full of famished wolves with no mercy, with no way to escape. Knowing this crowd, he could even die here – Keisuke choked on nothing as the thought manifested into the crazy young man’s mind. Even if Baji was lenient, if he was too lenient in the eyes of the gang, they wouldn’t hesitate to finish the work their own way.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Keisuke provoked. “Fight me, Chifuyu.”
Except Chifuyu didn’t fight Keisuke. Keisuke felt his blood freeze in his veins as Chifuyu ended up tackled to the ground after two dozens of punches, and beaten into submission.
Even then, at times when his eyes were still open, Keisuke thought he could still see his glare directed in the remote direction of the leader.
How peculiar, Hanma thought.
Go to hell, was Keisuke’s answer. Leave him alone. Just leave him alone.
But that was, apparently, only their first encounter.
An encounter during which Hanma had made Keisuke slowly incapacitate Chifuyu like a predator playing with a piece of meat before killing it.
When Keisuke saw this man for the first time out there, he was going to slaughter him.
But another part of him was elsewhere. That was what they meant, he realized with cold horror blooming in his stomach, as he remembered the hints thrown in the previous segments. In Koko’s segment.
Keisuke did do it. He did beat up Chifuyu, for obscure reasons that even he had no knowledge of right now. And Chifuyu didn’t even seem surprised.
He reminded to himself the appearance of his older self. Not that much older, actually. His hair just a few inches longer. He was the exact same. Maybe he’d have taken a few centimeters. Nothing much.
It was too soon.
This whole thing would happen all too soon. And he didn’t even know how to stop it.
Why? How?
Why couldn’t this stupid tape be clearer? Wasn’t the purpose of the tape to show off the future? Then, Keisuke reminded himself. No, it wasn’t. The people who watched the tape were supposed to remember a future, whether or not it was alluded inside of it. The retelling had the purpose of feeding the tape and fueling it, of course no one was going to extrapolate on things they didn’t want to remember.
Except that guy, apparently. Hanma fucking Shuji.
Ryusei was pale and silent, next to him, save for his labored breathing as he regained his bearings. Ryusei was angry too. Outraged. Ryusei had never seen Keisuke, or anyone, hurt Chifuyu this way, so brutally. So cruelly. And… for what?
For something neither of them could understand.
“It made me curious,” Hanma commented none-the-wiser. “So there was this little guy who simultaneously showed endless loyalty to his captain and endless hatred to myself. It was a strange combination in this situation, which made me think twice before labelling him as boring like the rest of them. My curiosity became more itching when I spoke to him next. It was after Mikey accepted Valhalla into Toman’s ranks, or rather at that precise occasion.”
Another outstretched grin.
“After Baji’s death.”
How much Keisuke wanted to crush that sadistic glint under his knuckles.
Another flashback. This time, both Chifuyu and Hanma were standing at the shrine, seemingly waiting for Mikey and the rest of Toman to arrive. Keisuke reckoned they had been summoned specifically due to the merging Hanma mentioned and his… yeah.
Hanma through one glance at the boy, and Keisuke did the same. Chifuyu in this was much more… subdued. Despondent. His eyes were empty. Keisuke didn’t like it. He wanted to shake the boy’s shoulders and tell him he was right here, he shouldn’t be like that, he shouldn’t… this was wrong.
Hanma refrained from smirking, instead rather off-handedly throwing an apology.
“My condolences for your former captain, by the way.”
Keisuke flinched. He didn’t know what he expected, though, but Chifuyu simply gritting his teeth wasn’t that.
Maybe he’d thought that Chifuyu, as he knew him, would have impulsively gone for the throat, or punched the other boy in the face despite the size difference. But no. Instead, Chifuyu had slowly, oh so slowly turned his head toward Hanma.
The blue fire burned bright into those eyes, as soon as they focused on Hanma. Bright, soul-eating hatred.
Keisuke gasped.
“Hanma Shuji,” Chifuyu doled out the sentence slowly, low like a growl, like a condemnation. “One day, I will make you reap what you sowed. An eye for an eye.”
Oh.
Hanma couldn’t repress his awful grin anymore.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The blue-green hatred didn’t leave his eyes, unwavering. Condensed anger that couldn’t be erased.
Mh. Hanma was surprised, of course. Kisaki wouldn’t like that. But oh, Hanma liked that.
What Kisaki didn’t know wouldn’t kill him, he guessed.
Chifuyu had already lowered his gaze back to the ground by the time Mikey and Draken arrived and the shrine started to fill.
“He wasn’t subtle at all,” Hanma chuckled with a hint of wonder. “But what struck the most was that, no one was supposed to know. No one was even supposed to suspect that Kisaki and I schemed Baji Keisuke’s death. But somehow, that little chunk of man knew, and that brought me great amusement. I didn’t see him as a threat at all, at the time, and I find that very amusing too, in retrospect.”
Keisuke thought he was starting to understand.
What happened was that Keisuke had left Chifuyu alone with a viper in the bird nest, and Chifuyu had tried to exact revenge.
Because Chifuyu was painfully loyal to him.
“That idiot.”
It wasn’t Keisuke who said those words, though. It was Ryusei.
Ryusei looked like he was two words away from retching.
Keisuke realized himself probably didn’t look any better. Keisuke… he felt ready to implode.
But Hanma wasn’t done. Far from it.
“After that, Matsuno didn’t go out of his way to seek me out. On the contrary, he rather seemed like he was avoiding me. The only occasions when he would come talk to me would be for gang business, and I swear for a minute I thought he was boring. But damn, he wasn’t. I loved the combination of righteousness that came with wanting to defend his gang from us, the big bad boys, and the dark desire for revenge that seemed to simmer inside in harmony. That was incredible to see, when I could see it. But after that, things started changing. Kisaki and I killed Sano Emma off-”
And that was it.
Keisuke blew up.
It was time, Hajime realized. He should start wrapping up now.
As he did, he thought back on the way Inupi’s segment had ended. He found himself smiling inside, cynical, at the thought.
“I know myself. And I know I won’t ever change. I know what I would have done. If anything happened to Inupi… either of them…”
Hajime knew he wasn’t a good person. No matter how long in the past he could be yeeted off to, that would never change. He’d always remain the Hajime would had desperately gathered blood money from a criminal underground network, who’d stolen and swindled and done all sorts of bad things, all for Akane. The man who had followed Inupi and took up the gun to protect him. The man who had had nothing else but Inupi. Nothing else but Seishu and Akane.
He could never bear to lose either of them again. And for the sake of them, he didn’t mind being a bad person.
That was who he was, after all, he thought as he pointed the gun toward the screen. He would kill for them.
“Of course I shot the tape,” he bothered to explain. “I don’t care about the future or the past, all I care about is Inupi. I don’t mind destroying the hopes of dozens of people, hundreds, millions even, if it permits me to save him. And don’t say you don’t understand. I know we’re all the same.”
They were, indeed, all the same. Nothing could change the sheer egoism in each of them. He knew Draken would have done it for Mikey if he had been fast enough. He knew Sanzu would have done it, unashamedly, had it been for Mikey’s sake. Kazutora would not have hesitated one second before ending the threat to Chifuyu’s life.
He smirked.
At least, this new beginning permitted him to admit to it. Hell, he could even feel proud of it. He would never let anyone or anything separate him from them again.
Never.
“We’d all leave the world to rot if it meant the ones we love were safe. And that’s how I love them.”
He loved them. More than anything.
He’d burn the world to the ground for them.
He shot.
Time to go back. Akane and Seishu were waiting for him.
Anything could burn, he thought to himself as he went on to find his treasures, set on not letting them go back to their own building that night. Anything could burn, but them.
Never again
Notes:
The next chapter draft is already titled: Hanma is an even bigger creep.
And somehow, that makes me laugh as well.
Chapter 38: M: They had no right.
Summary:
Ryusei helps Baji calm down.
But this is not the end of their troubles.
The worst is to come.
Notes:
More Hanma being creepy.
But, mostly? Chifuyu angst.Also, I promised I'd do it. Here.
TW: Hanma is his Own Warning. The Tape is its Own Warning. Character death.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
One second.
This equaled to the amount of time Ryusei had had to react before the whole room ended up in one massive fiery mess.
He only had his sharp instincts to thank, he thought, as he took a hold of Baji’s arm as soon as he saw the glare of fast movement in the corner of his vision.
He strained against the boy’s strength, gritting his teeth against the violent tugging on the other end of his grasp.
“Baji, no!” He didn’t even know what the boy was trying to do.
Although, he could guess. Judging by the crazed look in his eyes directed at the repugnant man they could see on the giant screen, there was relatively no doubt about Baji’s next course of action, if only Ryusei let him follow up on it.
“Let me at him! That motherfucker killed Emma!”
“And Chifuyu too,” Ryusei agreed quietly, his own anger briefly making a reappearance. "But that’s not the point!” he pushed more strongly to reach Baji’s reason.
Baji saw red and jumped into action, but the only thing his ire would accomplish would merely be the breaking of the medium, which would consequently would have them unable to learn about said deaths, and they might even get in trouble with the cinema’s maintenance. Gravely so.
“Get a grip, Baji, they’re not dead yet! None of them is dead yet! He’s not here!”
“I-”
“Baji!”
Ryusei sent him to the ground by taking his weight onto his shoulder. As instinctive response, Baji’s martial art training kicked in and had Ryusei seeing stars and a sharp pain in his head underneath him just about the next second, his back painfully pressed against the floor and his palm trembling as it restrained Baji’s fist from connecting with his face.
Now at least, they were eye to eye.
“I swear we’ll catch these bastards,” he promised grimly. “But we won’t get anywhere like this.”
Baji gazed at him, his eyes wide and his breathing fast. He blinked a few times, frowning as he realized what had happened. Then, as if Ryusei had burned him, he scrambled to get away from the tackled boy on the ground.
“Sorry,” he said, looking appalled with himself.
Oh, Ryusei could divine what was running through his thick head right now. It must be the sight of Chifuyu, looking down in front of Baji, not bothering to defend himself against the onslaught of violence.
Ryusei thought about it for a second. Truth was, even he wouldn’t be able to win against Baji, no matter how many times Baji let Ryusei get a hit on him sometimes. But he was pretty sure that if he tried, he could at least stop the other boy from injuring him.
The same could be said for Chifuyu. The blond boy was agile as a cat, he could evade Baji’s attacks if it were really needed. Baji shouldn’t worry too much.
But, Ryusei could admit… the display had shaken him too.
He sighed, shaking his head. At least Baji had regained his wits, but this wasn’t any better than mindless fury if he was dissing himself out in his stupid big head right now.
“Oi,” he called out, annoyed. “Your thoughts are written all over your face, you big oaf.”
As expected, Baji perked up in irritation at the provocation.
“What did you call me?!”
Better.
“Shush,” Ryusei told him. “The man’s still talking.”
Immediately, the mood fell back down to cold, heavy tension. Not that it had been that much higher during the last few seconds. But now the reason for this crisis reminded itself to both their minds.
That man and his acolyte had killed dozens of their friends. Including Chifuyu, and Emma.
Ryusei wished he could just ignore the man called Hanma. But he knew by now, that what he had to say, however unpleasant, was something he couldn’t just brush off so simply.
This was the man who, after Mikey, had given them the most information about the future since the beginning of the recording. However offhandedly.
“I’ll kill him,” Baji repeated, and Ryusei nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “As soon as we see him. But don’t lose your temper now.”
Ryusei feared that it was only the beginning.
“…According to Kisaki’s calculations, Tenjiku fell to Toman and they merged after the death of their leader and vice. That’s when things started changing for real. It wasn’t so bad to see, honestly.”
Another memory came forth, and Ryusei blinked to see Chifuyu – again, was that man obsessed? – waving goodbye to someone. Someone he knew. That was a member of their division. Neither Chifuyu nor the other guy had their uniforms on their back, they were dressed as civils instead.
Chifuyu already looked much more subdued, closer to how he’d look at the usual gang summons. He looked a bit tired, too.
Hanma spoke up from behind him, approaching in lazy steps.
“Was that the last of the original division members I just saw quitting? Notwithstanding you, I mean.”
Chifuyu’s hand only paused for a second in the air, before he put it back in his pockets, with no other reaction. He turned back slightly to address him, but Hanma couldn’t see his eyes.
“No, it wasn’t. Also, you’re the last person I want to talk to, right now.”
Strange.
His voice didn’t hold any of the previous resentment Ryusei had heard him address Hanma with. The answer was dull, restrained. Ryusei would almost believe Chifuyu was just tired and exchanging jabs with a mildly annoying acquaintance if he didn’t know the circumstances.
Hanma was a predator. And he was trying to prey on Chifuyu. The thought made Ryusei tense briefly with rage.
“It wasn’t the last?” Hanma showed uninterested surprise, fully ignoring the second part of Chifuyu’s statement. “Uh. Guess the rest of them are more stupid than I thought… that, or they’re dedicated. And those who left might actually be the most stupid, if I think about it. Like we won’t know where they are.”
Chifuyu blinked slowly at Hanma. Ryusei frowned, finding himself unable to guess what was on Chifuyu’s mind. Why was he looking at Hanma like this?
But at any rate, Ryusei could still decipher Chifuyu’s dulled eye better than Hanma right now. It was the eye of a cat carefully gauging the threat a new individual represented to it and its own.
Gauging. That might be the word. Thankfully, Hanma didn’t seem to be aware of it at the time. He had been rendered unable to read the other boy, probably not well-enough acquainted with him to decipher his emotions like a friend like Ryusei would.
Thank the higher existences for that.
He thought about the situation again. Why were the members of their division leaving? Now that his thoughts came back to him, he realized that Hanma’s remark earlier had been mocking, a provocative bait that Chifuyu hadn’t rose to take. When Chifuyu spoke, his tone denoted no sign of anger except, perhaps, a hint of mild annoyance.
“I didn’t think you were interested in watching members of Toman leaving. Why are you here?”
“I was just taking a stroll, I guess. Didn’t expect to meet you around here, I should ask you instead!”
There was a note far too innocent in Hanma’s voice, Ryusei took a look around, only just noticing they were in a cemetery.
Chifuyu’s eyes narrowed.
“You get on my nerves.”
Hanma raised his hands in surrender posture.
“Come on, don’t be so hostile!” he said. “I just remembered. It’s that day. I’m so sorry. Do you want me to leave?”
Ryusei could also think of a reason why Chifuyu was visiting the cemetery. Chifuyu, looking wary in the eye, turned his back on Hanma and simply started walking the other way.
“Hey, don’t just ignore me? You’re so boring. Do you see them all off like a good little vice when they leave? I honestly thought you were a bit more interesting than that, Chifuyu.”
“Sorry to disappoint. And don’t call me that.”
“Everyone calls you that.”
Chifuyu pauses briefly.
“Well,” he said, and Ryusei really didn’t know what he could be thinking. “Kisaki said it, didn’t he? Things are changing, now.”
“So I don’t get to call you by your name?”
“Just leave me alone, won’t you.”
“Alright, I get it! So skittish. See you around, Matsuno.”
Chifuyu didn’t answer, walking away.
And then Ryusei was back in his own body.
He really didn’t like how often Hanma seemed to be interacting with Chifuyu. But at least now he could see his point about adaptability… maybe.
Baji looked unsettled. Ryusei didn’t blame him.
“See? Just after one year, angry kittens turn into cats! It wasn’t perfect yet back then, but it was behavior to be expected from a teenager. Staying perfectly under the radar. I really thought that was the end of that, honestly!” Hanma laughed at his own misconception. “Ah, back to the time when Toman didn’t actually get their hands dirty. Nah, that was only Kisaki and me, back then.”
Baji glared at Hanma with ferocity, ambers burning bright in his copper irises. To be frank, Ryusei mostly kept to the first division, but Baji was more involved, as one of the founders. He knew people from every division. And more importantly, he felt responsible for Toman as a whole. Ryusei knew that. Emma’s death, the obvious mentions of corruption within the gang, it must be getting to him… especially flaunted like Hanma did it. Not forgetting Hanma’s disturbing attachment to Chifuyu himself.
Ryusei could admit it to himself, it was painful to see Chifuyu like this. A Chifuyu hiding the pain, so tired, from the future yet up close. Like that, this Chifuyu didn’t look so different from Ryusei’s own. But maybe because there were only… what, three years of difference? Maybe Ryusei would felt himself disconnect from Chifuyu the more time passed in Hanma’s memories. But for now… it felt like it was his Chifuyu. And a part of Ryusei burned with the desire to be with him, to comfort him. To make sure he wasn’t so alone.
That was another thing that Chifuyu hadn’t quite been able to camouflage so easily, despite the fact he had fooled Hanma’s critical eye. The loneliness. Terrible and heavy. Chifuyu had looked so alone, weary in the cold.
Ryusei wished he had been there.
What was the use of being alive if he couldn’t even contribute to helping any of his dear friends?
He remembered the few visions he kept on getting. He thought he could remember, the surprise of finding out, the grief… but no Chifuyu. No Chifuyu or Baji in his memories. Maybe he hadn’t even known about Baji’s death. Maybe, maybe he had not even learned of Chifuyu’s, whenever that had been.
A feeling Ryusei was very familiar with clutched his heart in a painful grasp. Dragging him down. It wasn’t just guilt. It was stronger than that.
Survivor guilt, his mother had once called it, not unkindly.
“So they were the ones who corrupted Toman,” he said, mostly to get rid of the invasive thoughts.
“Should have known it couldn’t have come from the inside,” Baji growled. “Not even with that so-called curse.”
Baji was right, of course.
“It started like this. And then it followed with guns. For protection, Kisaki said. The more simpletons ate up whatever he said. But I remember seeing knowing glints in some people’s eyes. There were the ones who couldn’t do anything about it… the ones who let themselves be carried away by the violence and Kisaki’s leadership… and then, there was Matsuno.”
Hanma shivered in delight at the reminiscence, and Ryusei wanted to strangle him.
“Ah… I remembered the first time I saw him then. It was such an intense flame of hatred! But this time, it was so well dissimulated, I almost missed it. It was so amusing…” Hanma chuckled darkly into his hand, his gaze losing itself somewhere Ryusei and Baji couldn’t reach. “What’s interesting is, the more Toman fell, the more he hid in plain sight. I can imagine how much the dirty laundry must have disgusted him, he was uptight like that. But I tell you what was truly magnificent… It was when Kisaki introduced the idea of murder to the new Toman.”
Hanma remembered standing at the back of the crowd, just watching Kisaki smirk rather meanly as he watched his own masterpiece. Hanma didn’t think it was actually that fun. Killing with a gun was definitely not as thrilling as duking it out, or taking people out with a motorcycle, but these days were starting to come to an end. And, well, what could Hanma do but follow Kisaki’s lead, now? He was the only interesting thing that had happened to Hanma in his life.
Two males stood in the middle of the crowd. Or rather, in front of it. No one wanted to place themselves on the other side, lest the gunshot accidentally bore into their skull instead. The hands of the man holding the gun were quivering so badly he couldn’t possibly shoot right at the second.
It was a gun Kisaki had thrusted into his hands.
“Well, then. What are you waiting for?” Kisaki, the menace, taunted, sounding mundane.
The worst was, Ryusei also recognized these two men. These were his men! What were they doing! What did this Kisaki think he was doing?!
That was when Chifuyu – an older Chifuyu, taller, and the dye in his hair had faded at the roots, naturally outlived – passed by. Ryusei, through Hanma’s eyes, could see his sudden change of demeanor when he noticed what was happening. The way he had tensed up, had changed the direction from front to right, the pace from walking fast to running toward the cruel mess. The way his eyes had widened in alarm and he’d gritted his teeth angrily.
“What’s happening here?” Chifuyu demanded, his narrowed eyes denoting his anger, stopping in front of Kisaki after pushing bodies around to reach the center of the spectacle.
Kisaki turned toward Chifuyu, looking too well-meaning for it to be real at all. Ryusei could tell.
“One of your beloved subordinates betrayed us. That’s not good, Matsuno, you and Hanagaki should keep your men in check, there’s already one traitor.”
Chifuyu twitched. But he retorted fast and stern.
“That doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. What is this?” Chifuyu seethed rightfully.
“That? People need to know they can’t betray us. This is meant to be an example. That man- he’s also under your orders, right? He found his little friend out, so now he gets the honor of executing him. Easy, right?”
Ryusei was going to kill that bastard. He was going to strangle him, open his throat, but before that he was going to punch the lights out of him, give him at least three different concussions and cut off his limbs one after another until only his neck was left, and he was going to feel a deep, dark pleasure watching him bleed out all over his pretty floor, and then he was going to clean it up with the rest of the body and make his goons drink the blood. Wouldn’t that make a good example too?
Chifuyu whipped around to face his subordinate, and for one single moment, Ryusei couldn’t help the pride he felt as his friend asserted both stern authority and familiar care just with that one action.
“Is what he says true?”
The man holding the gun, still young, nodded, swallowed painfully. He was sweating profusely, and Ryusei didn’t blame him. This wasn’t right at all. One could not ask another to kill their friend in cold blood- no, one could simply not ask another to kill their friend, period!
“It is,” the man- still somewhere between man and boy, voiced out. “I saw him… and he was… I didn’t mean for this to happen, I just… I thought we’d be in danger too, I just confronted him and-”
Kisaki cut in.
“Don’t say that now,” he admonished with feigned good-will. “You almost sound like a traitor too. Just do what you’re asked. It can’t be that difficult, after all you did denounce him,” Kisaki added salt to open wound. “Come on. You have ten seconds. Ten, nine, eight…”
The man obviously couldn’t do it. Ryusei wanted to take the gun and point it toward the arrogant blond four-eyed asshole that was enforcing this situation. Even when he knew he wouldn’t actually fire it.
But Chifuyu watched both Kisaki and his men only one second more before he clenched his teeth to ground himself, and then he-
He lunged forward.
“Give me that.”
He ordered, practically tearing the gun out of his subordinate’s hands, nearly pushing him aside if the boy-man hadn’t already been stepping backward on his own, and he pointed it straight at the accused, the traitor- their friend. From where he was, Ryusei found that he had a rather good position to observe Chifuyu, and he saw the way his jaw was set in that short moment, the way his eyes were forced open painstakingly as he stared straight into the eyes of the traitor, one single moment that could be considered all the apologies in the world, except it didn’t solve anything. There was no hesitation.
And Chifuyu shot.
His hands were stable, his grip firm, his aim accurate. The man died painlessly, collapsing in a bloody lump of skin and clothes on the floor, his forehead and his hair splashed red.
Chifuyu, for one moment longer as he lowered the weapon, didn’t look away.
Then, he gave the gun back to its owner, shooing him away with one wave of the hand – mindlessly listened to – and he turned to the crowd, his gaze roaming the faces in it and coming back to Kisaki’s narrowed eyes.
“Listen. From now on, I’ll handle any and all cases of betrayal originating from the first division. There’s no need for this ridiculous display, nor should you bother the captain. Now move, there’s nothing to see.”
He left his gaze hanging on Kisaki’s, like a warning, strong like iron. Kisaki looked at him pensively for one more instant before he sighed.
“Well then, you heard the man.”
Chifuyu waited one moment longer for the crowd to disperse, and then left to continue whatever it was he had been about to do – except he discretely, quickly and efficiently motioned for his left subordinate to follow him out of the room as well.
As he disappeared from Hanma’s sight, Hanma felt a spark light itself up in his chest. A delighted smirk curled sickly on his lips as he watched them leave in the corridors, as Kisaki made cleaners come to erase the bloody mess.
How interesting.
Hanma was eager to see more.
Ryusei wanted them all dead.
They had no right.
And Chifuyu.
Oh gods, Chifuyu. Chifuyu.
And the worst was, Ryusei knew it was still his friend, still the boy he met just about a year ago.
Only more jaded by death. Broken by the gunshot.
Drowning in despair.
Ryusei could only imagine it. No, he couldn’t even imagine it. He would never, never have…
Ryusei had threatened to take that gun and shoot, but he knew he didn’t have the guts. And Chifuyu, Chifuyu was good. He wouldn’t have taken the gun either.
Except he did. And he did it to protect his own.
Ryusei, for a single moment, completely forgot about time leap, about the tape, the different timelines, how far Chifuyu was from him, this Chifuyu might not even be his own, but he forgot all of that, because only one blood-curdling thought looped into his horror and dread-filled mind, down to his very soul.
Chifuyu. What did they do to you. The things they did to you.
They had no right.
They should never have touched Chifuyu.
He remembered the dulled gaze of a blond boy standing in the middle of a mess of fallen bodies, a knife in his hand. He remembered that gaze meeting his, defeated, resigned, and at the same time deeply afraid, ‘don’t hate me’.
He remembered the pain, what he recognized now was the heavy knowledge… of what a man looked like, when one had killed him.
The guilt-filled gaze of someone who had blood on their hands, someone who’d scrubbed their hands under scalding water again and again and again only to bled them redder, because it wasn’t coming off.
Anyone but Chifuyu.
In the depths of the darkest lanes of his subconscious, Ryusei had recognized him. He knew.
He knew this was the one.
Ryusei didn’t realize he was crying until his eyes burned too much to keep open.
Mitsuya had wanted to hold on.
He had promised. To Draken, to Mikey. He had promised to Chifuyu and Souya. He would be there for them, all of them. He would never leave them alone, no matter what. No matter what the future had gotten in store for them, he would not give up, this was the path he had chosen to walk.
But he couldn’t.
He could feel them, the memories, tearing places in his soul, the images of his dying brothers in arm haunting his every waking moments. It was all he could do to look at Chifuyu and not see the last pained smile the young man had given him before walking to his death. All he could do to look at Hakkai and see the horribly mangled and charred body that was left for the autopsy. All he could do not to meet Draken’s eyes for fearing of reminding himself of that awful vision, Draken lying deathly pale, almost like he as sleeping, just like Baji looked like years ago.
He couldn’t bear it. Didn’t think he could bear another ten years of that. Of knowing how tore down inside they would become, only to die in the end, all at Kisaki’s hands as he manipulated their most precious friends.
‘Open your eyes, Mikey,’ he thought with a smile he hoped was reassuring for the camera. ‘Look at my dead body, at the bullet I put up my chin, and understand this is not the future we wanted. This is not what you want. Please, Mikey, don’t let the sacrifices of our future be in vain-’
I'm sorry, Mana, Luna.
Looks like your big brother wasn't strong enough, in the end.
Notes:
The more I write, the sooner this whole thing is out of the way, right? Well, not that I don't like writing Chifuyu angst, but I kinda want Ryusei and Baji to be able to feel it too... as in be with Chifuyu and feel the effect with the knowledge. But admittedly I do love traumatizing them indirectly too >:D
I'm not a sadist.
Chapter 39: Y: Let me in.
Summary:
Chifuyu's mother confronts him.
It doesn't go as planned. Never does, with her....the cineclub comes back, too.
Notes:
I wrote this in one go.
Thought it'd take more than one go, seeing how I envisionned this chapter as a massive emotionnal big shit. But it turned out fight.I find I like writing Chifuyu, not because he's easy to write, but more like... I keep on prompting him. I nudge him, make him respond. I push him a lot, to write him, I noticed.
Hope you enjoyed! This chapter can only give you good tears.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Chifuyu?”
Chifuyu would have jolted were it not for his amazing reflexes which involved not do, do not have any reaction, emotion will be your death if you let it control you- at the sound of his mother’s voice echoing loudly in the office as soon as she opened the door widely.
He looked up just in time to meet her panicked gaze, only slightly assuaged when it fell on him.
His mother was never the kind to ask questions, he remembered. He’d been a sad, melancholic boy since his early childhood and he never did like confiding in anyone but Peke-J. She had long given up in making him open up to her. She knew he didn’t appreciate it, and that he was doing his best to live with himself, quietly. Chifuyu knew she’d always been proud of him, and always worried too, what with the delinquent business he had involved himself with early on.
She didn’t often call him like that.
And, actually, no one really called him like that. With that tone, that frantic motherly worry within the exclamation.
In fact, the last person to have done that wasn’t his mother. It was…
“Chifuyu?”
His hands jolted, his muscles tensed at the familiar voice. Slowly, he turned back and looked up, to where the frantic woman was hunched over the rails, looking down at him with wild worried eyes.
He smiled at her.
“Ryoko-san.”
Ryoko-san had always been beautiful, even if rather petite. She was someone Chifuyu greatly admired and looked up to. But more importantly, ever since that day she called him Baji’s brother, she had always been another mother for him. One with fierce care and brutal affection.
Chifuyu was so lucky to have parental figures in his life who wouldn’t judge him.
Had been.
She looked more tired now, but it was probably the time. She had looked a lot better back when they had both visited Baji’s grave, at his death anniversary just a few months ago. She was a strong woman, Ryoko-san.
He loved her like a mother. He didn’t want to hurt her.
He didn’t want to her either of them.
“Can I help you with something?” he asked gently at her disheveled figure, barely lit by the street lights.
Her features scrunched together slightly, but Chifuyu made sure not to react.
“No, I… Chifuyu, where are you going, it’s the middle of the night!”
She loved him like a son too, Chifuyu knew. She must have seen him from her bedroom window, and she must have freaked out. After all, that was also what Baji did, right? When his presence started fading from the apartment complex, progressively spending more time with Kazutora than anyone else, and then going off dying without a proper goodbye to any of them. Not even to his own mother.
The thought of it tested Chifuyu’s will. He wanted to go to her, stay with her and tell her he would be alright, everything would be alright. But he stopped himself.
Instead, his smile warmed and sweetened. He loved her so much.
“Just for a walk,” he reassured her.
And she looked into his eyes, searchingly, for a long moment. Then, slowly, she relaxed, nodding.
“Come back soon. It’s dangerous out there.”
He nodded too.
“Have a good night, Ryoko-san.”
His eyes followed her as she went back inside, reluctantly, still worried, but assuaged. And he felt so very cruel.
Then, he went on his way.
And never came back.
Chifuyu had never thought he would hear it again. He didn’t think he would ever be able to face her, or his mother, if he ever did succeed in felling Toman without surrendering his life to them. But in his wildest dreams, when he allowed himself to dream, that’s how it went. She would call him, just like that, panicked, uncertain, but relieved that he was okay.
And then, she would turn furious.
Just like now, when his mother took a look at his broken arm, and her expression morphed into something Chifuyu had trouble recognizing… he thought he saw it more often on Ryoko-san’s face when her son came back injured than on hers.
“Chifuyu!” she exclaimed angrily, something between ire and heavy concern. “What did you do?”
And- Chifuyu found that he still didn’t know how to face this, her. He looked away.
“It’s just a scratch I got in a fight-”
“Don’t try to bullshit me, Chifuyu, what is this? Where did you get this?!” she yelled at him, and wow, how long ago was it the last time he had heard her yell?
Around them, the school counsellor and psychologist looked out of their depth. And Chifuyu- really didn’t know what to tell her.
“Look into my eyes when I’m talking to you, boy!”
Shit. He couldn’t do this.
“Can’t you just let it go?” even to his own ear, it sounded too much like a plea.
Matsuno Chifuyu did not plea. He wouldn’t do them the pleasure.
“No way in hell!” she was so mad, he closed his eyes like it would make it all go away, “You want to play hoodlum? I’ve no problem with that as long as you pass your classes and you know what you’re doing, but you’ve been disappearing on me ever since a few weeks ago! And then I find you here because the school tells me you’ve had an attack on the damn roof of all places and you’re like this? I think I deserve a well good explanation here, young man!”
This, this fierce… care? This thing, it frustrated him to no end. It felt like a noose around his throat. Why did she have to be like this? Why did she… press, so much that he felt like he couldn’t even look at her in the eyes?
It was familiar, this uncomfortable feeling, like he had just disappointed someone dear to him. More than a dozen years had passed since he had last been acquainted with it.
He wasn’t used to it. Enough.
“Since when-”
He bit his tongue. Of course she cared, he had no right to ask her that.
He hadn’t even thought about how it would make her feel to know he was found on the roof. For fuck’s sake, Chifuyu put himself into this mess. But still.
“I’m old enough to know what I’m doing!”
“Don’t try that with me, I’m your mother and I pretty damn well know when you know what you’re doing!”
He found that he couldn’t hold himself back with her.
He just wanted her to stop that.
“Well then maybe you don’t know me all that well!” he yelled back at her, raising his head to meet her eyes at last, rising to his feet in the process.
He chuckled inward. This had turned into the worst screaming match they’d ever had, so quickly. He was half impressed with the both of them.
He felt like tearing his own heart out, both for the way the hurt curled into her widened eyes, and for his own stupid decision to look at her. He was already regretting it.
She gritted her teeth.
“Whose fault do you think that is?!” she accused him right back.
And, oh. Chifuyu felt this one pierce his soul.
It begged for him to fall on his knees and apologize. Just like it had once begged for him to walk back up the stairs to embrace Ryoko-san ten years ago, and never leave.
Neither of them had noticed when the room had emptied to leave them both alone with their hurtful words, but now the door was closed, and Chifuyu had no way to escape.
Not that there was any way to escape to begin with. Not with her, he found out. Not with either of them.
“You won’t tell me anything! None of you tell me anything! Not even your two friends, they even cover for you, how do you want me to know anything about you if you hide like that! You can’t get mad at me just because I worry about you!”
The part of him that was still thirteen years old was lost, so lost, because she looked so worried, and why was he worrying her like that? Why were they even screaming at each other? They were in this together!
And, the part of him that was sixteen years old, already much more worn out by the world, was bleeding out, because this was going against all of his resolutions, everything he did to protect her from his own hurt, the part of him that had thriven to be okay, to be normal for so long that he didn’t know how to tell anyone it hurt anymore, because he didn’t want the ones he loved to be in pain.
But Chifuyu, Chifuyu who was in his twenties, who had seen death and blood and the recreation of the world more than once, knew that this was bigger than them, this was bigger than him and his mother. He knew that he would never stop worrying her, that he had no choice but to worry her, that to break her heart. But he also knew that this?
This had nothing to do with all of that.
Get away from me… I don’t need this! I don’t need it!
“If you needed to know something I’d tell you!” Chifuyu heard himself say. “I’m fine on my own, you don’t need-”
“I do! I didn’t ask you because I trusted you, Chifuyu!” he could hear the tears in her voice, from far away, “I trusted you to know when enough is enough, I trusted you to tell me if it was too much, I trusted you not to turn out like him!”
He flinched. He couldn’t help it.
“I’m his son!” he spat out furiously. “That’s part of me whether you want it or not! You can accept it or not, see if I care!”
And gods, he did care. He cared so goddamn much, he had trouble recognizing himself.
It would have been so much better if she had told him she didn’t care, that she didn’t accept him, that she couldn’t accept it, it was better for her, for him, she wouldn’t have hurt so much, because he knew she did, she was so hurt when he left, and he pleaded to every higher instance that he had ever heard of and that he hadn’t believed in ever since he was ten, that she had never learnt of his terrible, tortured death. But at the same time there were these voices, yelling, shouting pleading whispering hissing crying out: please love me, please accept me, please don’t abandon me-
“If you want me to accept you then why don’t you accept me first!”
Her voice reached him, dragging him back violently from underwater, where he buried himself slowly under the waves, and he blinked, confused.
She looked at him, with her eyes. And they were begging.
Begging, the way he’d been begging her.
She was looking at him.
He didn’t like the feeling, he didn’t want it, he didn’t want her to see, she couldn’t see- she would hate him if she could see-
“You idiot boy.”
He looked at her in surprise, and found that her eyes were full of tears.
She brought him into her arms, her warmth embracing him like a blanket for him to cry under.
“It wasn’t your fault!”
Oh.
And everything stopped.
For an instant, it was just him and her eyes, her eyes begging him to let her in.
He wanted to scream. I never asked for your love. But he choked on the words, just like her love choked him. I don’t deserve it, he wanted to shout, but the words were halfway through his throat, and he was wanting for air.
I don’t know what to do with your love.
He wanted to cry, I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
And she was screaming too. Let me see you. You’ll always be mine, my child, so let me see you, let me help you.
She could never help him, he knew. Her embrace would solve nothing.
And, no matter how much she tried, she probably would never bring her sweet, sweet Chifuyu back, her sweet child that he had lost years and years ago.
He found himself bracing himself for it all anyways.
He’d rejected her, shut her out, and he knew it. He knew everything that he had done, knew the many ways he had failed those around him, and still found some new ways he had managed to hurt them to this day.
She managed to hurt him, with her love. Back when he used to watch her through the window, her tears falling from her screwed shut eyes as she prayed to his father, her beloved, at the familial altar. The knowledge of how much he was hurting her never stopped haunting his every step, like a ghost, one that he could never get rid of, one that always seemed to make his scarred solid heart clench again like the blood in it was too warm for him to bear.
She didn’t need to know him to see him, and that… that had always made him feel terrified. He shied away from her, always, from her all-seeing eyes, from Ryoko’s too. He didn’t want to be seen. Those motherly eyes, that saw through all his defenses.
How long had it been, since they pierced him?
He had missed her.
So much.
“Chifuyu…”
Her hand was close, too close, but Chifuyu was frozen in place, incapable of moving.
“Let’s go home.”
It hurt, the way she looked at him.
Would it hurt less, if he let her in?
He hated that she had the key, regardless of his choice.
I’m sorry, mom, the door is broken. He felt his own eyes water, as she walked closer.
“I’m… don’t. Don’t.”
“Chifuyu. Please. It’s alright. Please talk to me.”
He shook his head, taking a step back instinctively, looking at her chest because he couldn’t bear to look into her eyes.
“I… just let me… I’m figuring it out, I promise, just let me figuring out-”
She took him in her arms, and he tensed, cutting himself off.
“Please.”
Her voice broke him.
“Just…” his last plea sounded so pitiful, but he couldn’t quite care, he couldn’t even bring voice to the airy words, just a thin breath, he was choking on it, on the warmth, on the air, on the sound, “give me just some more time, just a little bit more time…”
Her voiced lulled him, feminine, motherly. Comforting like it shouldn’t be, not to him.
But she was his mother.
“You can take all the time in the world, sweetheart. Take all the time you need.”
She pressed him tighter against him.
“Just don’t go anywhere I can’t follow.”
He held his breath, for what might have been an entire minute. She gave him time, time to settle, time to accept, or reject it.
What was the point, Chifuyu told himself.
He went boneless in her hold. And waited for the blow.
The blow didn’t come.
“Let’s go home,” she suggested again.
He closed his eyes, all the fight seeping out of him.
“Mh.”
He didn’t know when, at what point. But at some point, she was leading him out of the office, by the hand, and he let her guide him out, his eyes lowered to the ground. She squeezed his hand in hers as she talked to the psychologist. Chifuyu couldn’t make out the words. Couldn’t bring himself to care.
He felt tired. He felt the warmth of her skin against his.
She tugged on his sleeve when it was time to leave, and he followed, five meters behind her, obediently. The office, the corridors, out, the hall, the school grounds. He followed the sound of her voice as she spoke with his main teacher, escorting them out.
He knew, they were going to have a long conversation when they went home. Maybe not immediately. Maybe she’d give him the night to think on it, and to rest. Maybe she’d sit him down at the dinner table in the morning and remain silent until he started talking.
Chifuyu didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t know what he was going to tell her. Maybe he’d just tell her the truth. At least for the arm. That he got involved with an armed group of bad people. Wrong place, wrong time, he’d say. She’d yell, she’d be worried again.
Chifuyu didn’t know if he could get used to that. But… he realized he didn’t really mind, at least just thinking about it. A sense of familiarity enveloped him, one that felt very foreign and yet… lulled him, into comfort. Into giving up, a bit.
Maybe he owed her that.
Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he just tried not to mind. Because it was her.
Maybe he just didn’t want them to hurt anymore.
“Ah, Chifuyu? That you?”
He raised his head, slowly, to meet the eyes of a group of juniors. They looked a bit familiar. Maybe he’d seen them around before.
“Hi,” he said when they waited for him to greet them back.
Smiles met him.
“Ah! So that’s where you were! I think Ryusei-sempai was looking for you! Or was it Baji-sempai?”
The words brought him out of his trance like a bucket of cold water. Alert, he examined the boys and girls in front of him.
“Ryusei and Baji?”
Ryusei and Baji.
He couldn’t believe he had forgotten.
He needed the tape back. Maybe Ryusei could hold onto it just a bit longer, but…
“Where are they?”
They looked at each other. One of them talked.
“Well, they accompanied us to the cinema earlier and helped us out of a big problem!” the boy recounted excitedly. “But something happened and basically they had to wait for the tape to stop playing because it could get damaged otherwise-”
“Cause the tapes got mixed up-”
“We just finished to rewatch our own product thirty minutes ago, but I think they’re still in there, don’t worry about them…”
Chifuyu’s blood grew colder at each new word, and the sounds started to be lost on him as they looped in his mind.
No.
“-friend’s or something, but you can go check of them, they were pretty protective of it-…”
“Something that long must be a documentary I tell you, that or they’re just hanging around by now-…”
“Which one?”
They all stopped talking, taking in his urgent inquiry and his contorted features.
“Uh? The cinema just a few streets down in that direction, but…”
Chifuyu took off without hearing the rest.
Praying.
Please. No. Please, I need to be wrong.
They can’t be!
Please, prove me wrong.
Yuzuha shot.
Both her and Hakkai did nothing, only breathed heavily for a few minutes.
It only registered then in Hakkai’s mind that the crisis had been averted.
Gods, his sister had almost died.
It was over.
His shoulders unwound, and he looked down at the figure of his sister, crying, but not longer holding onto the gun. He retrieved it from her pliant hands, for safekeeping, and she didn’t protest.
“How do you feel, now?” he asked, afraid of the answer.
The minutes passed, slowly, and she said nothing. He guided her to a seat, glad that their brother wouldn’t be back in another couple of hours, gone to the Church now. She looked into the void, and Hakkai worried more and more as time passed. But eventually, without looking up, she untensed and said…
“Better.”
Then, only then, did Hakkai feel better as well.
“Tell me you’re never going to do that again.”
She nodded. They both fell into tired silence.
“You know…”
He looked at her, as she spoke again, slowly.
“Maybe it’s not worth it. Maybe we’re still going to repeat the cycle,” she said.
Hakkai would have been alarmed, but he didn’t feel any of the craze, nor the conviction to end it that she had before when she said:
“Maybe it would have been better if I died.”
She didn’t mean it.
He still took her hand.
“I’m going to change the future,” he told her.
She looked at him, searched his eyes. Then she scoffed.
“You?”
He smiled, chuckling. He could understand her point.
“Yes,” he repeated. “Me.”
Him, Hakkai, the big cowardly crybaby. The soft-hearted giant. Because now, he remembered a time when he had been just as scared, but had learned how to be brave. A world that could have gone right. A world that could still go right.
He just needed to be brave again.
Strength, he had found out, didn’t matter as much as that.
“I’ll fight Taiju,” he promised. “And I’ll free us, nee-chan. And then… I’m going to save my friends.”
She chuckled too, crying again. Good tears, this time.
“With the power of friendship?” she mocked him lightly.
He pretended to agree, faking a serious face.
“With the power of friendship,” he said, and they laughed. “And Taka-chan.”
“You’re going to tell him?”
He hummed.
“That might be for the best. Isn’t it the whole point of that tape?” he asked her with a contemplative frown.
“What is it?” she was confused.
And he smiled. Resolute.
“We can’t do it alone.”
None of us can.
Notes:
I reiterate, this chapter can only give you good tears.
Not the next one tho :D
Chapter 40: L: They saw.
Summary:
Hanma ends it, but not without a final 'fuck you'.
Chifuyu is finally here.
Notes:
I hope you suffer.
TW: Hanma is His Own Warning, The Tape is Its Own Warning, Hystery, Non-Graphic Past Character Death, Tokyo Revengers Suck Get Used To It, Canon Violence, Hurt Everyone, Again, I Hope You Suffer. But Don't Get Traumatized. Traumatizing.
Then :D *waves* enjoy
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He ran.
Please. Make it in time.
“Anyway, that’s all I have to say about Mikey and Takemichi. They’re kinda crazy, but idealistic for me. And honestly, I prefer a good crazed guy who looks like he doesn’t, like Kisaki for example, who calculates the fun so much that it can’t actually go wrong.”
Ryusei wished he could say he had been listening. But honestly all that he’d got from all of that was that Hanma liked Kisaki’s cruelty, liked to torment Mikey, that Mikey and Takemichi were good friends to the point it was just sappy, and that Takemichi himself was just a good idiot shonen protagonist except he was weak as fuck. No complexity, just boring as hell.
Ryusei knew that, in theory, this concerned him. Takemichi would one day be part of his division, Kisaki would kill quite a few of their own, and Mikey was his boss. But he knew Baji was already far too busy trying to merge all his feelings about all these different persons in his little angry head, and Ryusei had other things to worry about.
His mind kept roaming back to Chifuyu, and the vision they’d had.
That gaze…
I know that gaze.
The gaze Chifuyu had, coming in, listening seemingly neutrally to the conflict, except for that hint of anger, that hint of fear- and when he ended the conflict.
Ryusei had seen hints of that gaze. Not in all the other Chifuyu’s that had appeared in the memories of the tape, not the exact same one, except maybe the first one, the one who visited Mikey before Mikey sent the tape in time for the first time. No, he’d seen it in their Chifuyu. The Chifuyu that was there with them for one, two weeks.
A Chifuyu who had taken a bullet to the arm and thought nothing of it. A Chifuyu who fought an entire group of modern fisty mercenaries with one arm, who knew how to carry a knife
Chifuyu, who killed one of his own friends with only less than a second to think about it. Even then, Ryusei could say it had hurt. It still hurt, remembering it.
A Chifuyu who acted like he didn’t have a choice.
It disturbed Ryusei.
This was the first kill they’d seen on screen, except for all the suicides. Strange. Ryusei hadn’t thought it’d be that different.
Maybe it was shocking because it was Chifuyu who’d killed him.
His fists clenched, nail digging into his palm. It felt awfully real now. More than ever before.
“You gotta love these guys. The unassuming bastards who stay under the radar, who have that resting bitch face… they’re the ones who hide all the crazy underneath. Like Kisaki. Like Matsuno.”
Hanma grinned.
“There must have been so many more of those guys in the main timeline, a shame I don’t remember it. But as I was saying, Takemichi was Kisaki’s ultimate rival, a pretty ridiculous competition if you ask me, but that’s still what they were. I think they respected each other, in a way, because of the hassle they caused for each other. But if Kisaki ever so slightly respected Takemichi for being his sworn enemy… then who can blame me for respecting Takemichi’s closest ally?”
Hanma seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.
“He really… hides his crazy too well, that one…”
And the memory swept Ryusei from the cinema once again.
A restaurant, or a café? The Kisaki boy was standing, looking at Takemichi, and talking, like whatever he was saying made sense… Ryusei didn’t really register any of it, because Hanma himself wasn’t very focused on that, watching the two boys’ reaction in front of him instead. Takemichi and… Oh, Chifuyu. Chifuyu who looked adequately wary, but calm. Too calm.
And then, in an instant, the calm was over. There was a smashing sound, porcelain breaking, and suddenly there was a sharp piece of dish under Kisaki’s chin, threatening his throat.
Chifuyu wielded it. His empty eyes wide with fury, no hesitation in his stance.
“It’s Mikey-san for you.”
Ryusei didn’t bother to catch the context of all of this, only looked at Chifuyu, until Hanma moved. A knife threatening Takemichi.
There, they were at a standstill. Hanma and Chifuyu, glaring at each other, a battle of will. Then, Chifuyu moved away, and Hanma did the same.
“In a way,” Hanma continued, not having noticed the flashback he let slip, “Matsuno was my opponent… But it’s something I like about him. He looks so unassuming, even more than Kisaki, like he could be content ever after being in standby, on the sidelines, like in those other timelines, but deep down there’s an intense crazy that only asks to be let out. I’m convinced of that. So really… Matsuno is a funny mix. Righteousness, Darkness, and fucking ferality mixed into one pot, I don’t know how that even works, but damn if the chemistry isn’t fascinating to watch.”
Ryusei didn’t like it. Didn’t like the appearance of equality between Hanma and Chifuyu, didn’t like that they seem to keep facing each other, didn’t like that someone like Hanma existed, preying on one of his friends like he had any right too.
He hated that Hanma sometimes seemed to understand that version of Chifuyu better than Ryusei did.
“A shame he doesn’t respect or like me back tho,” Hanma waved dismissively. “Nah, just kidding, that’s part of the fun.”
One day, Hanma came upon Chifuyu in an empty room. Nothing too unusual, except that Chifuyu seemed to be resting. Leaning back in an armchair, eyes closed, breathing even.
Hanma took his chance, even as the first step set a loud series of blaring alarms in Ryusei’s mind.
Ryusei could feel Hanma’s dirty thoughts. If he dared to do anything to Chifuyu, Ryusei would kill him before the man ever learned his name.
One step after another, silent as a snake, Hanma got closer, sneaking a hand toward Chifuyu once he was close enough.
How stupid to sleep in an open place like this, Hanma thought with a silent chuckle. Confidence a bit too high, huh? Well, Hanma liked that too. And the opportunity.
Except, to Ryusei’s relief, Chifuyu seemed to have been thinking something around the same line, because, without his eyes even opening, Hanma soon felt something cold and heavy press against his stomach.
Looking down. A gun.
When he looked back up, Chifuyu’s catlike half-lidded eyes were boring into him, glinting dangerously.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he spoke low and calm, looking prim and proper in his suit and with his perfectly black hair, the cold in his gaze.
Hanma withdrew his hand slightly.
“Come on. Won’t you play with me a bit? Stuck up.”
Hanma felt a ball of fire awaken in him when Chifuyu’s eyes narrowed, empty and cold and predator.
“Hanma Shuji. If you dare lay a hand on me, I don’t care about being executed or being put on death row, I swear I will put all six bullets of this gun up your brain.”
The threat was made in a whisper. Making Ryusei shiver.
Hanma took it for what it was. He stepped back.
Even though, he couldn’t help thinking…
Damn. I just love this guy.
Matsuno Chifuyu would never dance to Hanma’s tune, and he made Hanma know that by looking straight into his eyes. And god, did Hanma like that.
I want to tear that pristine suit apart.
Matsuno’s gaze, as he stood up and left the place with only one cold glance in his direction, sang a very bloody song:
Do try, but you will regret it.
Ryusei was torn. Wanting to throw up again. Between disgust and misplaced pride.
Why did he feel so proud? This should be making him feel dizzy with repulsion. But somehow, he couldn’t help thinking about Chifuyu, Chifuyu who defended himself, Chifuyu would had made his dignity and pride his lifeline and he thought, that’s right, Chifuyu, that’s right. Don’t ever lose this.
Ryusei should be horrified. And he was. He was horrified at the battlefield Chifuyu seemed to be maneuvering at every hour of his day in that timeline, horrified at Hanma, but most importantly, he was horrified at himself. He felt horror because of the way he felt, the way he felt vindicated, the way for even one second, Ryusei had wanted to encourage the craze Chifuyu could have unleashed then and there. He didn’t ever want to see Chifuyu wield a gun again but… for a moment, he had relished in it, relished in the way Chifuyu played on the line between chaos maker and insanity to get back at those who hurt him, high and tall, and untouchable.
Chifuyu hadn’t been untouchable. Chifuyu had slept with one eye open. Had pointed his gun at a man without hesitation. Chifuyu had endured his trauma, had been touched badly by the corruption around, and Ryusei couldn’t pretend he was untouchable. But he did seem like nothing could shake him anymore.
He’d felt proud, for one second. But truth was, he hated how far away that version of Chifuyu seemed.
Like he could never reach him again, no matter how hard he would try.
Are you done yet? The pain came unbidden in his thoughts, I don’t want to see anymore of this.
He ran until he reached that cinema. He entered, didn’t really remember how. Didn’t remember what he told to the man guarding the place either. Didn’t care what he looked like, that the guardian let him in without much hesitation.
He cared for none of that.
He just needed to find them.
Stop them.
But Hanma wasn’t done.
“Matsuno’s the kind of guy you don’t want to mess with when he’s serious. He’s really patient… Even I didn’t notice he was onto something until he jumped it. He played the part well. Even to the end, we all thought he’d just decided to play mole on a whim because of his revenge-”
Revenge?
Oh.
Keisuke’s throat closed onto itself.
His own death, of course.
Chifuyu, no…
“-but turns out we all pretty much underestimated him. He really was something, that guy. The number of contingency plans he had proves that we were just too late to stop him. Even though, now that I think about it, the plan they went with probably wasn’t the one he would have wanted to enact. He was always too loyal, that man.”
This time, when the memory struck, Keisuke froze, because he hadn’t expected to see that person.
Kazutora.
Hanma approached him, and quickly enough, Kazutora noticed him. Keisuke looked at him, feeling like he’d missed so much. His friend’s hair had grown out, and there were two stripes of yellow in it. Keisuke didn’t like the pain and sorrow underlying in his eyes, but somehow… it was so very different from the last time Keisuke had seen him.
Of course. Kazutora was an adult here. He’d grown.
But he felt more lucid too.
Despite the anger that overcame him as soon as he saw Hanma.
“You!”
Kazutora went for the throat.
Hanma stopped Keisuke’s friend with his stupid palms.
“Me! Hey man, I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” Hanma greeted far too cheerfully. “Isn’t this Matsuno’s here?”
“Why are you here, you sick bastard?” Kazutora spit out, and Keisuke had never seen him so rightfully enraged in his life. “You should be in jail. Better, you should be dead!”
Hanma scoffed.
“Like I have any interest in that. Mh… Actually who knows, that might be fun. Lot of people to hit… Or not. At any rate, I just thought I’d come visit, see if there was anything left…”
“You have no right to walk in there like you owe the place. You killed him!”
Keisuke recoiled, both from the vehemence and the word.
Strange, he thought distantly. Kazutora and Chifuyu sounded… they sounded like they might’ve been close.
Keisuke had hoped, but never expected. Never thought of what could happen after he died. Would die.
But Hanma immediately denied.
“I actually didn’t. Kisaki did. Why don’t you hunt down Kisaki? He’s still on the run too. What, too scared? Or maybe- ah, that’s it! Right? Matsuno asked you, no, bad dog, don’t go running after the bad guys, sit still! Right? And you obeyed, like a good dog? Hah!”
Kazutora managed to punch Hanma’s face, and damn did that feel satisfying despite the pain.
“You know nothing about us,” Kazutora growled. “Don’t defile his memory!”
The memory cut off on Hanma’s patronizing laughter.
“But I’ll be damned if he didn’t have charisma. Neither his subordinates nor Kazutora ever resented him for his failures or his acts. He’s a natural leader. It’s a shame he never stopped bowing down to others just because he respected them more. A wild card in the hand of a fool is only ever useful when it has a mind of its own, don’t you think?”
That man should get both Keisuke’s friends’ names out of his mouth. Soon. Keisuke didn’t know how long he could bear listening to that fucktard talking disgustingly about Chifuyu like that.
“I’d like to say he chose his allies wrong… but really, I can’t. In a way, Hanagaki being his superior was only a way for him to get under the radar, and he used it well. His real allies were Hanemiya Kazutora and, most importantly, Tachibana Naoto. That one’s impressive too, though a bit less crazy, it still lurked under there. I do like a vicious goody-two-shoes policeman who’s got a real beast inside. They made a good pair, if I dare say. A reaaaally good pair. And now,” he waves both his hands in the air as if saying, ‘what can you do?’, “I’ve got Tachibana running after me on the wild goose chase. I really shouldn’t stay in one place for too long. Be grateful that I’m taking the time to record all of this for you… Admittedly it’s to get the fun out of imagining your faces when talking about people you so unanimously appreciate. That’s really fun. But really, I have a police detective after me, and he’s really stubborn, and him too, I’m going to have fun playing with.”
Keisuke remembered that name from earlier, Tachibana Naoto. He’d committed suicide on screen, very no-nonsense despite the fact he elaborated the very hypothesis of timeline travel in the first place.
That guy was after Hanma?
Keisuke felt the vindication growing, demanding, in his stomach.
“Good. Fucking kill him.”
For a moment, it seemed Hanma was finally done.
However…
He opened all the doors, desperately. One goal in mind.
Soon. Soon.
Faster.
He would find them.
Hanma picked something up off screen, and manipulated the electronic material with practiced ease.
“You know how I love getting on y’all’s nerves,” he grinned sickly, satisfiedly, “So have this before I go. It’s a recording I got from Kisaki just before everything went to shit. At least he didn’t forget to do it this time. I’d have been mad if he hadn’t gotten the end of it for me to watch.”
Keisuke had no idea what he was talking about.
He found that he didn’t want to know at all. But he had no choice. He waited, nerves aflame, with electric anticipation.
"I guess, since Matsuno went down with a last big 'Fuck You' to the rest of Toman... this is my last 'Fuck You' right back at him. Bye."
The footage that appeared on screen still managed to stun him into voiceless shock.
His blood ran cold.
Another door, still not the right one.
But he kept getting closer.
He could feel it. The tension in his body, accumulating, mounting up until it was ready to burst.
If there were gods, he knew they would never help him. It was no use to pray. So he prayed to himself, spurred himself forward.
They were not allowed to see.
Please don’t let them see.
Static could be heard. The image had trouble stabilizing. But both Keisuke and Ryusei could see it.
There were two chairs. Two men tied onto them. And then there was someone Keisuke recognized as Kisaki.
“Don’t want to admit it, do you? It’s fine, I’ll help you refresh your memory.”
Oh Gods.
Fuck. Keisuke recognized the man on the first chair. It was Chifuyu.
And then…
Then Keisuke couldn’t describe what happened. What was happening.
He felt every jolt of electricity in his own blood, every little cry loud like explosions in his head. Each blow was another hit in his stomach.
“Chifuyu!”
That was Ryusei. Ryusei had shouted. He didn’t sound good.
Gods, what was Keisuke looking at?
Please, anything but that.
Running, with no other thought in mind.
Chifuyu- that was Chifuyu, for fuck’s sake- looked worse for wear, and Keisuke couldn’t even notice how he still carried himself with the air of a man who wasn’t afraid, only tired but never afraid, all he could see was the way Kisaki hit him like he wanted to kill him like that. The way the blood stuck to Chifuyu’s clothes.
Blood. Red. Bleeding, he was bleeding, he was pale, dead- not yet, not dead, Chifuyu wouldn’t die like that, no this wasn’t Shinichiro- this was Chifuyu, Chifuyu was being-
He couldn’t form the word even in his head.
“Matsuno Chifuyu. You’re quite the irritating man. You’ve been taking jabs at me, never forgetting what happened twelve years ago,” Kisaki was talking, he was talking and Baji was swimming in his own head because this couldn’t be happening.
“Is this revenge for Baji Keisuke?”
That again. No, Chifuyu no. Why was this happening, why were they seeing it, why- this was all his fault, hah? All Keisuke’s fault?
He’d gotten Chifuyu killed.
“Huh?” the other guy, he’d woken up, Keisuke didn’t care, didn’t remember the name, had only eyes for Chifuyu, Chifuyu who was being- all because of him-
Kisaki kicked Chifuyu again, violently, no one to hold the chair anymore behind him. Keisuke flinched at every move, his head painful with the way his vision couldn’t right itself correctly.
“Stop it, Kisaki!”
Stop it.
“Confess already,”
Chifuyu didn’t. Chifuyu kept his silence, and endured.
Keisuke just wanted for it to end. Down the deep end.
“You two are the traitors, aren’t you?”
He attacked the neck.
Ryusei lunged. No, not Ryusei too, don’t-
“Let me go! Let me at that motherfucker! I’m going to kill him!”
Keisuke was breathing too fast to answer. His grip was deathly on Ryusei, shoving him behind him, on instinct, it was his responsibility, he was the captain, he couldn’t let them- couldn’t let them-
But he couldn’t do anything against Kisaki.
“Damn it! How dare you report us to the police. It was pointless anyhow.”
“You’re wrong, the police jumped the gun! All I wanted was for you to be driven out of Toman!”
Keisuke jolted at Chifuyu’s voice.
Ryusei stilled in his grasp, his breathing ceasing.
“How long have you been chasing Baji’s delusions? What a small minded bastard you are.”
Keisuke hated Kisaki.
“The current Toman is rotten. All I wanted was to change that.”
No.
“Kisaki. It’s just as I said.”
He stared up.
“I’m the traitor. Takemicchi isn’t involved at all!”
Chifuyu, why? Even now…
Why!?
Kisaki called for the gun again.
“I’ll be the one to decide, whether or not he was involved.”
The fucker walked to the other, prattling on while Keisuke had trouble with his breathing, too fast, too much, he lacked air.
“Hey, Hanagaki. This whole time, you’ve had a look on your face that says “this has nothing to do with me,”…”
“Huh?”
“Haven’t you?”
Kisaki shot again. The reverberation echoed in Keisuke.
This couldn’t be real.
It wasn’t. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t…
“Argh! My leg!!”
“I told you that Takemicchi had nothing to do with it! He doesn’t know anything!”
Chifuyu STOP-
“Jeez, you two are so noisy. Aren’t we all friends here?”
“…You freak.”
That gun went to Chifuyu’s forehead.
“Well then. Any last word?”
Chifuyu was staring ahead.
Keisuke’s sight was blurry.
Oh. He was crying. His face was drenched.
“Takemicchi.”
The continuous scream only added to Keisuke’s dizziness.
No.
“Takemicchi!”
It’s his fault you’re here. Don’t, please don’t, Chifuyu you can’t…
“Listen to me… Takemicchi. These are my last words.”
Keisuke suffocated.
Close.
Chifuyu heard the sounds. Indistinct. An open door.
Almost there.
“Lots of stuff happened these last twelve years. Mikey-kun disappeared. Draken was given the death penalty… Before we even noticed, our hands were stained in the filthy things we were doing. We’ve made so many mistakes.”
Keisuke didn’t want to hear this.
He couldn’t look away.
“But the heart should remain the same!”
Chifuyu raised his head.
Keisuke found that he couldn’t bear it. Not that gaze. Not that smile, that empty smile, the desperation, the hopelessness, the pain-
“…Take care of Baji’s wish…”
It was all his fault.
He slammed the door open.
“Take care of Toman, partner.”
Keisuke whipped around at the sound. His copper broken eyes meeting empty green.
The trigger. The gun was shot. It resonated in the entire cinema.
Thirteen-year-old Chifuyu watched them, still, at the door. With horror.
They saw.
“You really want me to shoot you? Hanma.”
Hanma grinned.
The exaltation ran up in his bloodstream. The adrenaline had never felt better.
“Because I will. If you block my way I will.”
The police would be here soon. Yeah, if Kisaki didn’t get Hanma out of the way, he’d get arrested very neatly.
Hanma was the one who led them to him.
The sounds resonated behind Kisaki. Hanma did not lose his grin.
“Guess killing Matsuno really was your mistake, huh? Let’s go down, Kisaki. In a big showdown. Fireworks and all. With an explosion.”
“…You sick bastard.”
He targeted the heart. Just like Hanma had predicted, had lured him into doing.
He felt the pain. He fell down.
Another gunshot was heard.
Ah. As planned. That detective. With the crazy, vengeful eye. Just as empty.
Hanma played dead. Hanma fell. Tachibana Naoto breathed in.
Hanma, discreetly, made his escape as soon as the policeman’s back was turned, facing his comrades as they went out of their blaring cars.
He put a hand at his chest, where the tape wasn’t anymore. He’d gotten Kisaki to send it away.
He laughed.
“Hilarious. I didn’t think that would work…!”
He worked.
Hanma could have died.
But heh. Hanma always did like to make dangerous gambles.
Kisaki had been one.
A gamble he thought he’d won. But turned out he’d lost. But even then, he’d never quite been able to sever ties with Kisaki. Even when the life went dull and monotonous.
Huh. Maybe he really did get attached to that guy.
Just like in another lifetime, he found himself shedding tears.
This time, it was he who led Kisaki to his death, willingly. It had been long time to end this. He’d thought…
I’ve seen him die once. What’s one more?
Turned out, it never got easier.
But he was Hanma. Hanma Shuji.
He had a reputation to keep, he thought to himself, chuckling.
No, he could let no one know, how deep the twelve-year Toman debacle had anchored itself in him.
All harmless fun.
Maybe one day, he’d manage to fool himself again.
Who knew.
He slipped away. On the run again.
Notes:
:D
Chapter 41: I: It doesn't matter.
Summary:
The aftermath.
It's ugly, and normal too.
But mostly quiet. Too much. Like a rubber band that snapped.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
They saw.
They know.
These two thoughts cycled in Chifuyu’s empty mind as he watched, numbly, Kisaki attempt to kill Takemichi. As he turned, slowly, to gaze at their still figures. He couldn’t bear to meet their eyes.
They knew, now. Everything. Or enough. All that he had wanted to hide from them. Who Chifuyu really was, who he had become.
His failure and his crimes.
He didn’t deserve to look at them in the eyes after that. But he had hoped, he had dared to wish- he hadn’t wanted them to know. But now they know. They saw how rotten Toman would become, how rotten Chifuyu had let…
Why?
The thought came to him unbidden. Why did they have to watch the blasted thing? Why did they do something like that? They had to have known. Oh, but they couldn’t have. And once they had realized what it was about… well, it was only their right to watch it.
And now they had seen.
What now.
Life didn’t stop. They looked at him with alive eyes still. Chifuyu still breathed, he hadn’t wilted from shame on the spot.
The film still unwound.
He snapped back to it. The film was still ongoing. First things came first. Chifuyu needed- he needed to…
“Get out.”
**
Ryusei jolted out of his trance at the two words. He remembered to breathe.
There had been Chifuyu, adult, beaten dead and then, the bullet- the gun- the shot- and after that the blood. So much blood. And, and open eyes, and a mindless scream. And then, Chifuyu.
Chifuyu had found them. He didn’t look at them. Ryusei searched to find his eyes but they were hiding in the shadows of his bangs. He almost didn’t hear the words, were it not for these echoing in the ringing silence which had seized the room.
Chifuyu was alive.
Ryusei couldn’t help but breathe in relief.
Chifuyu had caught them red-handed. Ryusei immediately sucked in another breath.
“Chifuyu-”
“Get out!”
Ryusei took a step back, registering the way Chifuyu had snapped at them. The thought that this wasn’t- it wasn’t the same boy- reminded itself to Ryusei’s unwilling, numbed mind, and he bit his lips to blood as he felt it like a sucker punch.
Oh, he thought. Right. They had no ground to stand on right now. They should…
Without another word, Ryusei gently took Baji’s arm as not to trigger another fight or flight reaction, and coaxed him into following him to the exit. They passed by Chifuyu on their way out, and the boy was too silent, exuded something far too quiet to Ryusei’s liking, but he didn’t say anything.
Anything he could say would only add to the heavy burden in the air already.
Chifuyu closed the door behind him before the next segment could begin. The sound coming from the other side cut off completely, and Ryusei was left bereft of sensations.
Except for the giant whirlwind trying to upset his stomach.
And his eyes, in front of his eyes, he could still see it, again and again and again and-
“Come on,” he forced himself to speak, his voice too rough to his liking, but at least it sounded out better than the ringing in his head, and the scream of his friend’s name, his friend who was on the ground and who was already dead and bleeding out. “Let’s go sit there. On that bench.”
Baji said nothing. He let himself be guided wherever Ryusei pleased. His eyes were unfocused and dull, and Ryusei knew the scene was also rewinding again and again in his mind, before his eyes and in his ears.
They waited in silence, for who knew how long.
Ryusei wondered distractedly what Chifuyu might be doing in the cinematic room. Perhaps he was, unlike Ryusei earlier, seriously trying to find a way to stop the tape from being read. Or maybe he was watching it all over again. How had Chifuyu even found them?
He didn’t really care about the answers. There were a few logical guesses that would make sense. When his mind had enough to loop the images of the recording for him to relive, it latched onto Chifuyu’s face when Ryusei had finally turned to him. The light that was lacking. It was still there yesterday. Still.
“He looked scared.”
Ryusei turned to Baji, who had murmured so low and fragile that Ryusei had almost failed to hear it. He didn’t dare say anything.
“Just before he saw. He looked scared.”
And afterward? Ryusei could guess it had been gone by then.
He wondered why Chifuyu could have been feeling scared. To him, the boy had only seemed horrified. Maybe disappointed, or mad.
Baji’s phone started to ring.
It was a good thing that Ryusei’s captain had regained some of his wits by now. Ryusei wasn’t certain either of them were in idea condition to be speaking to anyone currently, though. Still, Baji, in one smooth movement, picked up the call, his eyes never leaving the terrifying, haunting void he was looking into.
“What is it,” his voice was lackluster, a bit empty, and very tired.
Ryusei didn’t blame him. He vaguely heard someone on the other side of the line, but he didn’t bother to focus on it. He knew his focus was still elsewhere. Or nowhere, perhaps. Was he still in shock?
“Mikey. He called you?”
Oh. So it was Mikey. Who had called Mikey? Not Baji’s mom, maybe Chifuyu. It wouldn’t surprise Ryusei, Baji did tell him just an hour and a half in the past that Chifuyu had been looking for him. Probably looking for the tape, actually. He wondered why Chifuyu hadn’t called them. Oh, right, they’d left their phones in their jackets. They… hadn’t wanted to be interrupted.
Well. Weren’t they stupid. Chifuyu must have been very worried. No wonder he had been scared.
Or maybe he had just been scared of losing the tape. It wasn’t like the Chifuyu Ryusei knew, but well… Ryusei wasn’t sure he still knew Chifuyu, this one at least.
“…Yeah. Something happened.”
There was a pause where no one talked. Then, some background noise. Mikey was talking.
“Mh,” Baji’s lips quirked up, humorlessly. “No one… died. We’re all fine.”
No one died.
Hah.
Yeah, no one died. Not in this timeline. Not in the last few hours, not today. No one really died.
They’d all been dead for a long while now. And it was not like it mattered to the people of this time. Not like they’d understand. Or maybe it was just Ryusei and Baji who couldn’t understand, not anymore.
Ryusei didn’t think he’d ever be able to look at the world the same way again.
To begin with, he didn’t think he’d be able to look at Chifuyu the same way again. And that thought felt like a knife in his stomach.
“…Right. Let’s do that. Talk to you later.”
Baji hung up. He didn't tell Ryusei about what they had talked about. It was fine, Ryusei could guess.
Ryusei was too tired to be glad that Baji had people to talk to, after all that shit.
And then, they went back to deadly silence. Heavy, charged silence.
Something like twenty minutes later, Chifuyu finally came out.
He looked nothing like how he had looked yesterday, or the day before, or any day before. His blue eyes were closer to a lifeless green, and he didn’t meet their gazes. His gestures were half sharp, half defeated, as though there was no purpose to them, but he didn’t know how to do it any other way. He looked a bit gray. His expression… could best be qualified as blank.
The tape was in his hands.
“I fixed it,” he said, bluntly, to the point, and then nothing else.
For a moment, no one said anything as Chifuyu slipped the tape back in his sleeve, firmly secured as he grabbed his sleeve to make sure it wouldn’t go away. The grip of a man who had already lost something once and was afraid to let go.
Huh. What was Ryusei even thinking…
Chifuyu did not reproach them to have ignored their options to breach his privacy instead. He didn’t say anything about that.
“I’m sorry,” Baji said, either way.
Chifuyu glanced over him, careful not to meet his eyes.
“It’s nothing,” was all he said.
Ryusei thought, it wasn’t nothing. It wasn’t nothing at all.
“I’m sorry,” Baji repeated, his head low, down, staring at the ground.
Ryusei finally noticed that his fingers had tightened into fists.
Oh.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
Chifuyu… Chifuyu stared at Baji. Appraisingly. His features revealed nothing. It felt cold to watch.
It felt tired, too.
“You,” Chifuyu said, just a murmur… an emotionless murmur. “Do you even know who I am?”
Ryusei’s own hands twitched, like a flinch he couldn’t repress.
Did they…
He thought of the man who begged his partner to save a bone-rotten gang that wasn’t a gang anymore, thought about the boy who stayed true to his ideals and yet had grown into a cold adult that could not possibly be-
Of fucking course they didn’t know.
Who are you, Ryusei could ask right now. It was the right moment, after all. Did you eat my friend’s soul?
Do you remember when you were him.
But Chifuyu’s eyes, finally, an abyss of nothingness, a spiral of faded, stared into their eyes at last, scanned their pupils, searched into their very souls, and Ryusei couldn’t talk in the fact of that.
In the end, Chifuyu blinked and turned away.
“It doesn’t matter.”
And he started leaving.
It… didn’t matter. Huh. Because… because…
“It fucking does.”
It was Baji, who spat the words to the ground.
Ryusei stared at him, wide eyed.
Chifuyu also stopped in his tracks, but he didn’t turn back around, merely throw a glance over his shoulder in their direction. Ryusei couldn’t tell whether or not he felt surprised.
Chifuyu had no tell for Ryusei to decipher anymore.
But the day before, Chifuyu did have that. He did have tells, tells that Ryusei had been able to recognize.
Was it all a lie? A reproduction of the past?
But it had also not been a lie. Chifuyu had acted differently.
Ryusei had simply not be able to perceive it for what it was back then.
Then, Chifuyu lost the neutral quality… not entirely, but he finally showed sign of life. He shook his head and drove a hand in his hair with a sigh.
“Let’s… let’s just forget about it, okay? Just for now.”
It sounded too much like begging for it to be Chifuyu. Chifuyu didn’t beg.
Chifuyu was also human, a voice reminded Ryusei, one that sounded suspiciously like Baji’s.
“I’m sure you have questions,” Chifuyu said as he turned away once more, hiding himself from them. “But I’d rather not answer them now.”
“That’s okay,” Baji immediately answered, springing on his feet to follow Chifuyu, hesitating but in the end taking a chance and placing his big warm hand on the other boy – boy? –‘s shoulder. “That’s okay. Let’s just go back, okay? Together. Don’t go off on your own again.”
And this was probably why Baji would always be thousands times better than Ryusei. Ryusei could never be like that. So naïve. So forward, so impulsive in his actions. So stupidly kind, so optimistic.
So trusting.
Ryusei did not know how to trust like that.
Chifuyu escaped the grasp of his friend after a few seconds of… acceptance? Was that what it was? Maybe it was just indifference.
“It’s not like I could do anything else,” he replied, and they both noticed he wasn’t actually answering Baji’s request. “My mother’s waiting for me. She’s probably worried.”
It made Ryusei tick.
“Why?” he frowned, as Chifuyu gestured for them to follow him out.
Chifuyu explained the situation as though he was talking about someone else.
“I ran away from her, accidentally. I was watching for you by the school’s roof, and the school teachers caught me. They called her. They probably think I’m suicidal.”
It was disturbing to hear him talk like that. This wasn’t some image of a Chifuyu from the future, it was Chifuyu, in his real body, thirteen year old – but not really – and physically present with the both of them. But he was talking in a way the old Chifuyu would never have done. Impersonal, cold, nearly uncaring.
It felt too strange. It felt like dissociation. Like Ryusei hadn’t actually left that fucked up room.
“You should call her,” Baji advised quietly.
“Mh. I’ll do that.”
Ryusei walked behind them, and he felt envious of Baji. How easily he adapted to any kind of situation- even if it was just his best friend that had time travelled and had probably seen him die before. Even that.
It looked like normal, and it felt different. It looked a bit different, but they were trying to be normal. Or maybe they weren’t trying at all. They just were. And Chifuyu was letting it happen.
Probably because nothing was actually happening. Nothing was solved. Nothing had actually happened in the last few hours either, so this was technically normal.
It felt a bit empty though. And a bit too loaded, as well. Whichever it was, Ryusei wasn’t sure he wanted to figure it out.
Without much small talk, they walked out of the cinema. For about three minutes, Chifuyu was on call with his mother, as he gave her some roundabout explanation that wasn’t full of bullshit, but also wasn’t actually the truth. Ryusei, once again, wondered. He wondered, this time, if Chifuyu did that often. Lie like an adult, like a criminal- like someone who knew how to lie. If he did that often with them too.
Oh.
It occurred to him then.
“You weren’t lying when you said you were never shot before,” it came back to him, the revelation he had gone through in the room.
Chifuyu’s hand jumped slightly. Ryusei wondered why he was affected.
“Yeah.”
Ryusei hummed.
“You’re good at that,” he commented.
Chifuyu didn’t answer anything.
Baji glared at him, although his gaze was uncertain.
Ryusei was too lost to respond to it.
He accompanied them to find Chifuyu’s mother, waiting for them at the park. She scolded Chifuyu, hugged him and checked him for any new injuries, without ceasing one instant from speaking to him. Chifuyu let himself be smothered in her affection with no protest at all. It was a rare sight. Actually, Ryusei thought he’d never seen it before.
He then accompanied all three of them to their apartment complex.
“You’re staying?” he asked Baji who lingered around Chifuyu’s apartment still as the mother son duo entered.
“Yeah. I’ll just tell my mom and get my bag up with my things, and then I’ll go back here. …I just don’t want to leave him alone right now.”
Huh.
Ryusei was too emotionally drained to have a proper reaction to that.
“Understandable,” he said with a shrug. “Well then. Call me tomorrow.”
“Right. See you then.”
The day had been long.
Too long.
Unfortunately, the night wouldn’t be good either. Ryusei knew. He had a feeling.
Naoto shot the tape without a hesitation. He felt bits and pieces of his memories and feelings fade. Just a bit. Like, maybe, those bits had just been a dream.
Even though Naoto had had to bear the weight of that person’s soul, with all these memories of all these other timelines, each and every one of them, he didn’t really feel like it was his. Naoto still felt like a child. Maybe it was that thing that Kokonoi explained before. Maybe his child soul had won and overcome the older soul. Or maybe the older soul had been too tired and had just wanted to fade away.
Naoto didn’t really care either way. As long as he could keep his sister out of trouble, and all his friends, so that they could have a normal, long and peaceful life, he wouldn’t be bothered. Of course, it would be a nice bonus to have his sister’s boyfriend, and his sister’s boyfriend’s friends live too. After all these lifetimes spent watching Takemichi cry and try to save all of them, it would be sad to just throw them back to the wolf’s mouth. But only if he could.
Naoto thought his older version had tried the impossible long enough for Naoto never to try it for himself.
“Naoto? It’s time to eat!”
Naoto smiled.
This was normal life. Father, mother. Sister. And that idiot Takemichi still talking to her at the door right now.
“I’m coming!”
Certainly, Naoto was very young. But in his mind, there was also a high percentage of knowledge that would help him figure out the enemy’s plan with ease, to save his sister and as many others as possible. If he could catch Kisaki red-handed in criminal stuff and hand it over for his father to handle, all the better.
Naoto had decided, as soon as he found the tape and its contents, that he wouldn’t be idle. Even if he was only a child. He was still more intelligent than half the people involved in this particular case. He wouldn’t let his sister die. And maybe, if he could also save his sister’s friends, then all the better.
All the better.
Naoto was only a child. And he would live a long, happy life.
He would make sure of it.
“Sis?” he called.
She turned to her midbite.
“What is it?”
It was a bit embarrassing but…
“You know I love you, right?”
She seemed surprised.
He saw that she was stopping her lips from quirking up, forcing on a frown instead.
“Of course I do, stop being like that, it’s weird. Eat your vegetables and don’t say stupid things.”
Naoto huffed discreetly, a small knowing smile at the thought that he had the right to be irritated at such a mundane occurrence.
Older sisters, right.
Bossy as hell.
Notes:
EDIT 2025/01/31: I was planning to come here screaming Guys? GUYS?! HELP ME PLEASE- but calmed down and realised that the lot of you, no matter how nice, had little chance of being able to help me, so here I come saying nicely:
Hi, guys? ^^; I acquired a problem.
...MY DATA STICK FUCKING BROKE!!!! TOT
yes the data stick with all the data for this fic and the draft of the next chapter and the quote from the chapter titles letters and all that shit. And my homework and my new og story too.
So! :D I'm pretty discouraged right now but I'm going to try and repair it somehow, even though I know nothing about how it works at all, or how anything works, all I know is text treating really. Just... updating you on that...
bye, guys...
Chapter 42: F: Strange World
Summary:
ANNIVERSARY CHAPTER 1/3
Chifuyu and his mother have a talk, while Keisuke is still reeling from the hellish day he's had.
Then, he and Chifuyu also have a talk. It's not that bad. It is but also not.
The day draws to a close.
Notes:
Hi! I DO NOT know if I'm back, but I noticed about two weeks ago that the birthday of this fic was coming up, and I could not not give a few chapters for that. By the time I write this I don't have anything else finished, so I'll just see how much I'm able to write until 11/05, don't expect too much out of me. I've just reread all the fic, corrected few mistakes, including the timeline because now I've finished the spin-off and it made me so happy so, you know... stuff. Made the visit at the hospital more credible, I think.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“You should go back home.”
Keisuke blinked, staring back at Chifuyu.
“Why?” he asked, not in the least aggressive.
Chifuyu paused with his hand on the handle of the front door, turning back to Baji slowly, tiredly. For a moment, he said nothing, just looking at Keisuke. But Keisuke remained patient.
Eventually, the blond boy spoke.
“I’ve been worrying my mother, these past few days,” he said, reluctantly. “I think that it’s time we have a talk. It might take a while.”
Oh, so Chifuyu was not simply refusing Keisuke’s help. It reassured the boy somewhat. He still scanned Chifuyu’s face.
Chifuyu looked tired. That was what struck Keisuke first as he observed him. His features were a bit drawn, and a bit grey, too. But he seemed more… dared he say relaxed. He hadn’t noticed how tense Chifuyu had been before, but he could speculate that keeping this secret from them had been more taking than it probably should have been. His eyes were not hostile, nor were they overly guarded, and he was not looking at Keisuke , rather down, in the void. He was not open either, merely reserved. But Keisuke could see the exhaustion seeping out, and perhaps the sense that Chifuyu had let go of something. Keisuke could not read him.
But he looked a bit better. Or maybe that was just the exhaustion making him look softer, more willing to talk.
It wasn’t the best, of course, but it wasn’t the worst. Chifuyu wasn’t lying either. Keisuke could tell at least that. Or, he guessed, Chifuyu was letting him see that. His eyes, blue tinted green with bone-deep tiredness, were as honest as they could be, if a bit dull.
He gave in.
“Alright. But still, I’d rather be inside.”
He didn’t want to leave Chifuyu alone right now. Chifuyu…
Keisuke could guess that connecting with his own mother would be difficult for him, in that state.
Even though himself had trouble imagining just what exactly that state was. He was almost afraid to know.
Chifuyu raised his eyes to meet Keisuke’s, a bit questioning, still very quiet and a bit inexpressive.
“But you’ll wait a lot,” he protested mildly.
“Then I’ll wait,” Keisuke shrugged it off. “Just take your time.”
Chifuyu looked at him. Keisuke held still. All his instincts regarding Chifuyu, he knew, were wrong, and it was taking all his willpower not to fall back into one of them. He needed to assimilate fast that this Chifuyu, while still his Chifuyu, was different, and treating him the exact same would not do him only good.
The scene he had been privy to in the cinema room helped with that. His stomach churned at the thought.
So he remained unmoving, letting Chifuyu search within his eyes, unknowing of what his blond friend was looking for. All he knew was that Chifuyu must have found it, because he sighed, and then let Keisuke in.
“You’ll be comfortable in my room, in the meantime. You could use the time to start on homework” he suggested, before adding not unkindly. “Warn your mother this time.”
Keisuke grimaced at the memory of the last time he’d deserted his mother to spend time with a sick Chifuyu. Thinking about it, it might not have been sickness.
Suddenly, distantly, he noticed that the day Chifuyu got sick was the time Chifuyu started to act weird. Or rather than that, he realized that this day must have been the day Chifuyu… came back.
“Don’t worry,” he reassured Chifuyu with a nod, “I’ll do that. I won’t make too much noise.”
Chifuyu’s features seemed to soften somewhat as Keisuke passed through, watching him. It wasn’t quite the smile it would have been before all of this, but he could still perceive that the same feeling was behind it. And maybe a bit of fond exasperation, sounding like ‘you say that, but I know you will’.
Even just this, it made Keisuke feel more at ease, somehow.
“Chifuyu?” Chifuyu’s mother called for him, before noticing that Keisuke had entered too. “Oh, Keisuke? I didn’t know you were staying,” she eyed her son briefly, but Keisuke couldn’t say if it was in disapproval or just concern over the pragmatics of their conversation. “Do you need anything? Some juice, or a snack?”
Keisuke brushed her off as politely as he could. He knew mothers were to be respected, as much as possible – especially if he didn’t want to be kicked out early.
“It’s okay, I dun’ need anything. I’ll just wait in Chifuyu’s bedroom. I’ve got some homework to figure out.”
Not that he would do any of it. Nor for now, it could wait later.
Who would focus on homework after learning about the things Keisuke had just found out?
The short woman smiled, seemingly relieved, and Keisuke could understand. He excused himself shortly after, and the door closed behind him after Chifuyu assured himself Keisuke was comfortable. Then, Keisuke sighed and sat down at the foot of the bed, feeling exhausted.
It had been a long day. For a moment, Keisuke simply stared at the ceiling, not knowing what to do. He didn’t try to eavesdrop on Chifuyu and his mother. It would be pointless, especially when Keisuke had his own thoughts to work onto.
Once again, the realisation dawned upon him. Chifuyu - the Chifuyu he knew and loved, his vice-captain, his best friend - had come back from the future. Worse for wear.
It was still Chifuyu, Keisuke repeated to himself. That much was obvious. It was in the gazes, the minute expressions, the way of speech. Some had evolved. Chifuyu didn’t use to have that deeply assessing stare, and he used not to be dulled by a veneer of neutrality that covered all his tells. But it remained Keisuke's friend. Just a bit changed. Just a bit older. Just a bit darker.
He wasn’t someone Keisuke needed to plan or tiptoe around. The Chifuyu Keisuke knew was someone who didn't shy away from conversation. And one thing was sure, Keisuke and Chifuyu were going to talk.
But in the meantime, there Keisuke was, alone with his own thoughts and his memories of the past couple hours.
It had been hell. And now Keisuke didn’t know how to sort it all out. What to think of first? The hellish future awaiting them? His death? Ryusei's still foreign fate? The vision of his friends taking up a gun one after another and ending their lives with it? Or the question: which timeline did Keisuke belong to?
In the matter of a day, all of Keisuke's beliefs had gone out the metaphorical window. And the most disturbing of it all was that, despite it all, the today he knew was still continuing. Resuming all around him while he had lost himself in alternate dimensions, between pasts and futures that weren’t his, images he couldn’t get out of his head, and a confusion he felt he couldn’t walk along with.
He was entirely disoriented. He'd tried to step back into his own shoes, and Chifuyu had followed along, because that's what he had been doing for ten days already.
To think this mess had started ten days ago.
But Keisuke had noticed that Ryusei hadn’t done the same. And that was yet another problem to scribble on his problem list.
To be honest, while he had tried, and temporarily succeeded in being a good friend for a moment, in false normalcy, he still had- thousands of questions, to which only Chifuyu could answer.
But before he and Chifuyu could talk, Keisuke needed to recenter himself.
“Get a grip,” he mumbled to himself, facepalming tiredly. “Ah, almost forgot.”
He fished out his cell phone and dialed the familiar number of his childhood friend.
“Baji.”
“Hey, Mikey. As promised, called you back.”
“Is everything settled now?”
Keisuke opened his mouth to respond, but found that the words were inadequate.
What should he even say?
I've watched you blow your brain up thrice today, and talking to you feels surreal.
I've found out my best friend is a time traveler, made friends with my partner, and that they bonded over my death until one of them died too.
I saw Draken, Mitsuya and Haru die and I'm not sure how to get those images out of my head.
I think I helped breach your mental privacy by making my friend and I watch all your thoughts about everyone and everything that's happened in your life, can we call this settled?
He couldn’t say any of this.
“Fine,” he settled on in the end. “We're all tired. Chifuyu's talking with his mom, and after that we'll talk. For real this time.”
He took a breath.
“You were right,” he added, defeated. “About him. And what you were saying about not letting go of the rope.”
For a moment, Mikey remained quiet. It only gave more time for Keisuke to rewatch the last few images, where his best friend was- was- was violently- for who knew how long without saying a word until that other guy woke up and got his own blows for the sole crime of having been there.
I learned I was gonna die. That there'd be a bloke who'd change the future and miserably fails. And I can’t seem to feel anything over that.
He did want to throw up. But he felt like it'd come later. Ryusei was lucky to have emptied his stomach earlier. Didn’t stop the nausea though.
Had it really only been a few hours?
“You don’t sound very alright, Baji,” Mikey mentioned seriously.
“It’s been one hell of a day,” Keisuke answered honestly.
No point in lying about that. It wasn’t like Mikey could guess about the time leaping bit, after all.
“Is it about the reason why Chifuyu ended up calling me?”
Ah. Right. There'd been that. Keisuke should have known that Chifuyu wouldn’t just sit there with fingers crossed while waiting for them to come back. At least that didn't change about Chifuyu. Mikey had told him earlier, that Chifuyu had called him in case their leader had any idea of either Baji's or Ryusei's location. No such luck.
That was apparently right before Chifuyu got caught on the school's roof looking like a suicidal maniac when in fact he'd just been looking for his friends, who happened to be in possession of his very unique and very magical time travel tape that he had to send back in time one way or the other. Hopefully the other.
This was such a mess. And it wasn’t even a believable mess.
“Yeah. Ryusei and I found out about his problems and he freaked out when he couldn’t find us.”
“So now you know?” Mikey sounded a bit curious.
“Yeah, and it's hella confusing… and a lot. And I'm not gonna tell you,” Keisuke drawled, before he frowned. “Unless you already knew?” Keisuke would feel horrible if this was the case, for a variety of different reasons.
Thankfully, Mikey refuted.
“Nah, nothing at all. Though Chifuyu did tell me…”
“What?” Keisuke barked, then regretted it, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.
Was he really up for anymore reveal today?
Too mate to take it back, Mikey talked.
“Just that he didn’t want you and your friend to know about that part of him. I'd say it was something of shame, or in a similar vein. You should ask him about it. It might help clarify stuff,” his childhood friend suggested cautiously.
Keisuke paused to think about it.
“Thanks, Mikey,” he said, sincerely.
“It’s nothing. I just hope everything will be alright from here.”
If only Mikey knew.
Keisuke blinked and wondered briefly how many times Chifuyu must have thought that precise statement about literally anyone in the past twelve days.
“It’s going to take sometimes,” he admitted, rubbing his neck. “I don’t really know how to go about it for now.”
“If you don’t know, how am I supposed to help? Either way, I also had some news for you.”
“Huh?”
Was something going to happen soon?
“Well. Since you've been busy for a while now… you completely missed Emma's birthday.”
Oh. It was just that.
Keisuke's eyes widened.
Oh shit. Emma's birthday.
“Oh shit,” he breathed out, and Mikey, like the gremlin he was, snickered.
“Yeah, thought so too. So the guys were thinking. Let’s do another gathering soon. And bring Ryusei and Chifuyu. It might do some good to our friend to be surrounded by familiar faces.”
“Ah…”
Keisuke thought about it. Really, thought about it.
It was… a surprisingly sound idea. But…
“When are you planning to do that?”
“I was thinking the first weekend of the holiday, at the shrine. Small committee. That way Emma can feel comfortable there too. Is that too soon?”
Keisuke tried to do the mental math. Scrunched his nose angrily and tried again. Now that Mikey had mentioned Toman, he was remembering the gathering he and the guys from his division had prepared for the previous sunday. Chifuyu had refused to come with. Maybe there'd been another reason than his sickness, now that he thought about it. He should ask… if he could.
Maybe he and Ryusei should try to spend some time with Chifuyu in private, to begin with. It wouldn’t do Chifuyu good, whatever future he came from, to be thrown back in the middle of everyone at once. But the holiday, that was in what? One week? Two? Two and a half or something. That should be enough time.
That or Keisuke was grossly miscalculating the issue. But at least he was trying.
“Okay, we'll see about it. If not, I'll pass by and get her a gift.”
And by the time the Christmas holiday would come around, Chifuyu's birthday would also be around the corner. But he thought better than to mention it to Mikey right off the bat.
“Okay then. I'll pass by to talk with Chifuyu before that. To see how everything's going.”
“What are you, his private counselor?” Keisuke scoffed.
“That's such a big word for you, Baji! Congrats!”
“Just fuck off! Oh, wait, answer first. Are you trying to steal my vice?”
A snicker.
“Don’t worry about that. He’s yours first. But remember, that also means he's mine.”
Oh.
Right.
“In the end, Toman… is just a complex game of belonging.”
He swallowed the bile back and nodded, grim, a knot in his throat.
“Okay,” he nodded once, unsee. “I got it, Mikey. See you around.”
Mikey sounded softer, letting the concern through, as he replied.
“Yeah, see you soon. Don’t get yourselves killed, alright?”
Keisuke wondered how that idea had made its way to Mikey's brain, but he himself was too grave to just brush it off.
“Sure.”
They hung up. Then, Keisuke sighed.
Perhaps he should really try to get ahead on his homework. It might distract him, even for just a minute.
In the end, he ended up looking in the blank page of his notebook for who knew how long, not doing any work done, until he heard the door open. The sky had gone quite dark by the window, he noticed with a quick glance, before Chifuyu entered.
For a moment, no one said a word. Chifuyu closed the door behind him, his arms full with one can of soda and one of iced coffee, as well as a box of Peyoung Yakisoba. He nodded towards Keisuke before making his way over and sitting down, facing Keisuke.
The can of soda was pushed towards him. Keisuke stared at it for a moment, before taking it up, glancing at Chifuyu's can.
“Ice coffee?” he raised an eyebrow.
Chifuyu shrugged.
“You learn to get by,” is all he said.
Keisuke swallowed, remembering what had them in this position in the first place. He looked away.
“How did it go?” he queried, unsure of how to proceed.
Chifuyu opened his can and took a sip.
“Not too bad,” he replied. “At least she doesn’t think I'm suicidal anymore,” he huffed. “Jokes aside. I really should have talked to her before. Years ago.”
Keisuke knew what he meant. It was fascinating, the way Chifuyu let his guard down with him, and spoke naturally with no fear of Keisuke finding out something he shouldn’t, and with no awkwardness whatsoever.
Except for the too silent atmosphere.
At least it wasn’t the same as earlier, when they and Ryusei had exited the cinema together. That had been…
Keisuke sighed close-mouthed, when the memory of Ryusei's behavior summoned itself to his mind again. He chucked half his drink down before putting it down. Immediately, he noticed, however subtle it was, he had Chifuyu's attention.
“Don’t worry about Ryusei,” he said, tiredly. “He'll come around, eventually. It was just a lot, for him.” For me too.
“He thinks I'm not myself,” Chifuyu answered without missing a beat, nor batting an eye.
Chifuyu was far too casual about it. But then again… they were in a strange world, weren’t they? Keisuke thought as he exhaled, leaning back and untensing.
“He thinks you're not the same. That's natural, though. No one stays the same after so much time has passed. Even I know that. And it’s been…”
Chifuyu’s hand twitched on his knee, but he answered to the silent inquiry nonetheless.
“Thirteen years. Take a month.”
Shit.
“Yeah. That. Usually people get used to it because they're livin’ right next to the person they're lookin at, but… separation, right?”
Chifuyu nodded.
“You're thinking about you and Kazutora-kun,” he divined, fat too accurately.
“Busted.”
“I know,” a small smile, the words almost sounded like the usual arrogance.
“Why'd you use honorifics on his name?”
“Habit, I guess. I can try to stop.”
“Nah, don’t. That's no use.”
There was a lull for a while. Chifuyu opened the yakisoba box and gestured at Keisuke to start eating. It was still somewhat hot. Chifuyu looked in the void while Keisuke ate.
“You’ve seen Hanma's stupid segment, haven’t you.”
Of course Chifuyu had noticed.
“Yeah.”
“Right. Don’t take anything he said to heart. He's just a massive creep.”
“You know him well?” Keisuke finished and passed the half-full box back to Chifuyu.
“More than I'd like,” the blond said flatly with a hint of sardonicism.
Keisuke waited. Chifuyu didn’t look at him for a while, with the excuse of the yakisoba to distract him. Then, to Keisuke’s surprise, he stopped what he was doing and put everything aside. The boy - not, the man, the, huh, the young man - settled both hands on his knees and looked at Keisuke seriously.
“I know what you're thinking, and it’s high time I clarify this: none of what happened is your fault.”
Keisuke froze.
He forced himself to remain contained, and threw one sharp look at his friend. He apparently wasn’t fooling him.
“I thought you didn’t wanna talk about it,” he glared at the ground.
“I don’t,” Chifuyu answered easily, his gaze intense, and he had more the countenance of a high schooler than a twelve-year old. “But I don’t want this to escalate somehow because I didn’t catch it before. Just listen.”
Keisuke didn’t know what to do with himself, so he just straightened and stared right back at his friend.
His friend who was a fucking time traveler.
His friend who almost certainly died for him, depending on the future that awaited them.
His friend who stared right back at him, with certainty, and who said:
“I don’t have the right to tell you that the accident with Kazutora was not your fault, or that Bloody Halloween was not your fault. That's something you'll have to work through on your own, and I don’t want to talk about it now. But as for how I lived my life thereafter, and how Toman survived after your death; none of this,” he stressed the words, “was your fault.”
He looked sure of himself.
Keisuke wasn’t convinced.
But Chifuyu knew that. He always did. So he doubled down. Insisted, firmer, stronger.
“Mikey was the one who decided to fuck off. Kisaki was the one who decided to off Izana. Hanma is the one who decided to be a fucking creep, and Yuzuha was the one to decide she'd kill her brother. Hakkai was the one to decide he'd cover for her, and Pah was the one to decide he wanted to stay. Draken was the one who decided Takemicchi's or Emma's life meant more to him than his own. Takemicchi was the one who decided to travel back in time and mess with everything for better or for worse. I was the one who decided to give Takemicchi a hand and I, ” his eyes narrowed, steely, “was the one who decided to stay in the flipping crumbling house. ”
Keisuke almost recoiled. But this wasn’t finished.
“Shinichiro took the decision to save Mikey and to bear the following consequences. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason will always be someone's actions. We all need to take responsibility for our own actions, and my decisions were only ever mine. Just like Mikey's decisions, despite how much I resent them, are only his. No matter the influence of the circumstances because the people are the ones who create their own paths, regardless of their reasons.”
Chifuyu blinked.
“Do you get it?”
Did Keisuke get it?
Yeah. He'd got the message pretty clear now. But did he believe in it?
“All for the sake of your little revenge!”
Did he…
Chifuyu groaned suddenly, slapping a hand and dragging it down over his own face. He looked more tired and fed-up, all at once. He still had an eye tracked onto Keisuke, and the older- physically older boy couldn’t stop of nervous grin because being annoying had always been his life goal.
“You and Kazutora are similar as hell,” Chifuyu grumbled. “Can’t you just take a hint and realise you can’t carry all the guilt of the world on your own shoulders? It took him an entire year to get out of the mindset, and I'm not waiting a year for you to come to your senses. Let me put it this way for you, Baji-san,” and yet despite how exhausting Keisuke was being, if Chifuyu were to be believed, the blond still never stopped calling him with respect, “if I died tomorrow it would still not be your fault. Because you'd never kill me.”
Keisuke almost flinched. He felt weary too, now.
“And how would you know that?”
“Because the Baji-san I know would never kill anyone. Even in the future.”
“And if I did, ” Keisuke retorted, because he didn’t trust Chifuyu to be rational about it, about him. “Would I still be blameless in your eyes?” he spat out.
But Chifuyu was unfazed.
“If you did,” he repeated slowly, unmoving, “if say, you took my gun and put a bullet in my head directly, then it would be your fault.”
This time, Keisuke recoiled back.
“But it would also be my fault,” Chifuyu added with a straight face, “both for having let you take the gun and for letting you shoot me with it. It’s as simple as that.”
Everyone was responsible for their own actions.
“Guilt is a heavy topic,” Chifuyu concluded, “but once you've figured your own out, it’s not the trick question you think it is, Baji-san. And I know guilt is somewhat irrational. I know you can’t help it. You're going to feel guilty because you're like that. But at least consciously, you have to know that you had nothing to do with any of our deaths. We did that all on our own. Do you get it? ”
They looked at each other for a while. Then…
Keisuke nodded.
“Yeah.”
The word was rough, but it was true. It was… hard to accept, but… Chifuyu might be right.
“Good. Then stop blaming yourself for what you saw.”
“I'll try.”
Chifuyu looked at him critically, before shaking his head.
“Best I'll get,” he acknowledged.
At that moment, Peke J made himself known, yawning from where he’d been sleeping on the bed and jumped down. The little cat made a full round of the room, before coming up to sniff Chifuyu. Then, he realized what he was looking for was sitting in Keisuke’s hands and trotted to him, purring as he settled on the nest between the boy’s crossed knees, hoping for a piece. Chifuyu was looking at him with undecipherable emotions, but it seemed fond. Keisuke wondered for a second what happened to Peke J in the past.
Back up a minute.
“You have a gun on you?” Keisuke rebounded on the previous piece of information.
“‘Course I do. Now finish eating.”
“You're not the captain of me,” he grumbled, letting the previous topic go - for now - and looking down at the sad noodles in the box.
Chifuyu huffed with a smile.
“No. I'm the friend of you and I tell you to eat, because if you don’t I can call you mother.”
“You fiend.”
Chifuyu chuckled meanly, and…
Ah. Keisuke hadn’t realised how much he'd missed it. This. How much he'd feared it wouldn’t come back.
But it had. They were together, and everything had changed, but… not them.
Good, he thought, and tried not to cry in his yakisoba.
Good.
Hinata slipped out of his brother's room, hoping he wouldn’t notice that one of his firearms was one bullet short. She'd already taken a shower and put her clothes in the machine to get rid of the gunpowder, just in case - she wasn’t stupid, alright?
She remained there a moment too long, in front of the door she had just closed, her hand on the handle, when her brother, the wolf, appeared behind her.
“Oh, Hinata? Why are you waiting at the door? You knew I was in the kitchen.”
Okay, time to rely on her nonexistent lying skills.
She turned around.
“Hi~ Naoto…” did that sound convincing? “I, uh… forgot… I thought you'd finished making tea, I was… half asleep…”
She looked away.
He looked at her with suspicion, but in the end he confused her awkwardness with embarrassment and let it go.
“Sure. So? Is there something you wanted?”
She blinked. Was there… ah, of course. She had been ‘looking for him’, after all.
In his own house. You know, like an airhead idiot. She grimaced to herself. What could she ask him now…
Oh.
“Say, Naoto.”
It was the perfect occasion.
It was time she stopped waiting around like an unhappy widow. She was a woman, and she was strong, and her boyfriend was- would be a time traveler, and he had the kindest heart she knew. And she couldn’t save Draken, or Mikey, but at least she could try to make the best of this.
Go, Hinata of the fourth timeline, she encouraged herself, only you can make a change now!
And so she asked.
“Could you find someone for me?”
Notes:
Didn't lie. Peke J's here. Lol.
Next should be... the next morning, plus Kazutora.
Chapter 43: E: Holding up
Summary:
ANNIVERSARY CHAPTER 2/3
The next morning. Concessions.
Notes:
I've been wondering. My writing style might have changed. Does it still fit the story?
Chapter Text
Chifuyu was staring at the streets, next to Kazutora. Kazutora was starting to get used to him.
“Of course,” the man said, “I’m giving you the choice. Seeing what has become of Toman, you could want nothing more than to flee the whole country and start anew, far away from Tokyo, Kisaki and everything. That’s your right, and if you decide that’s what you want to do, then I’ll help you. Kisaki will never hear of you again.”
Kazutora remained silent. There was a pause, and then Chifuyu’s eyes, hardened but calm, turned towards him.
“However, that’s a choice you’ll have to make for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.”
And for a moment, all Kazutora could do was look at this man.
“Shouldn’t you hate me?” he said, almost timidly, but mostly numb, lacking understanding.
Chifuyu’s lips pressed together and he stared at Kazutora for another moment, his eyes fully human. They were the eyes of an adult.
“Your guilt is yours,” is what he said, before looking away again, to the outside. “I also carry my own guilt. That’s something else you need to figure out on your own. But this isn’t about us. Kisaki manipulated both you and Baji, as well as Mikey, to get to where he is today. That’s what I know and believe in. Ten years is a long time to think things through and let go of unnecessary feelings.”
Kazutora listened, in awe. Was Chifuyu saying that he didn’t hate Kazutora, or was he saying that whether he had or not was irrelevant? He wasn’t sure.
“I know it’s not easy to make a decision right now. No matter what you choose, I won’t hate you for it, if that’s what you ask.”
Kazutora blinked up at the man. It was a man. An adult. Someone who’d grown and was almost unrecognisable from the teenager Kazutora had only briefly interacted with in the past.
“What about you?” he asked, curious because what was there in emptiness but vain curiosity of those who weren’t empty. “Don’t you want to stop? Isn’t there a better life for you out there, or friends?”
Chifuyu looked back at him in surprise. Then, he huffed, almost good-naturedly.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I’ve a friend out there. But I chose this road for Baji-san, and for the Toman I loved. Plus now, ten years in, it’s not like I can turn back. Kisaki would kill me before the thought even took root.”
For Baji, huh.
For the Toman they’d loved.
Kazutora wasn’t sure his own motivations could be as grand as that, or that they were as righteous and pure but…
Kazutora didn’t know what he believed in anymore. After spending more than a decade in prison, he felt like he had lost all meaning of self outside its walls. Would running back to Toman business give him an identity? Help him redeem himself to the people he had killed?
Chifuyu looked at him like that wasn’t what was important. But then, what was?
Could Kazutora really start over, after everything that had happened…?
Kazutora opened his mouth, unsure but ready to speak…
…And he woke up.
Then, he cursed.
He kept dreaming and dreaming. Especially the nights after Chifuyu - the younger one - visited. The rest of the time, it would be images, flashes, words he would remember sometimes, but didn’t know from where. A feeling, by his shoulder.
He would like to say it was driving him insane. He was certainly feeling insane. But he felt like it was giving him something to focus on instead.
He could barely feel the gazes of the others anymore, afraid to know when the next time he snapped would be. He didn’t feel like he was going to snap, either. Just…
He felt lost.
Who are you?
Why do I see you in my dreams?
Why does it soothe me when I hear your voice?
“I'm bad at this,” Chifuyu was saying, older again, leaning on a balcony and looking out yet again.
“Bad at what?” Kazutora said, coming closer.
Chifuyu's face didn’t express anything, yet for some reason Kazutora felt like he knew- it was frustration.
“Helping,” Chifuyu ended up saying. “I'm no good at helping.”
There were words that Chifuyu wasn’t saying. There always were. Chifuyu’s words had gone clipped now, and he had never known how to be gentle, as far as Kazutora had learned from his time out there and the letters Baji used to send him about his new friend. The fact that Chifuyu was trying, even if he didn’t say so in so many words, was already something Kazutora appreciated. The least he could do was give some of that back.
“But you're helping.” Kazutora insisted, a hand settling on Chifuyu's shoulder.
Chifuyu didn’t flinch, but the minute tensing under the outfit pushed Kazutora to withdraw his hand- but it hovered close, and Chifuyu looked at him again with that undecipherable yet assessing gaze of his.
Kazutora hoped he appeared as sincere as he was. He felt a tiny smile bloom when Chifuyu murmured, with no apparent emotion yet all the meaning:
“Then I'm glad.”
Chifuyu was younger than Kazutora, had been out in the world for the same amount of time, he knew so much more and yet they felt like equals. In Kazutora's foreign reminiscences, they felt like equals, and Kazutora didn’t know what to do with that.
It was different from what Baji had been for him too. With Baji, there wasn’t any of this… this strange and subtle thing. Baji had never been subtle, and neither was Kazutora, not as far as he knew. Baji had taken his hand, and then Kazutora had clutched it in his and dragged the other boy far away, in places they should never have reached.
Yet Chifuyu's touch. Chifuyu's touch felt like a hand coming from above, reaching to the hell Kazutora had been thrown to. Taking him up slowly, and guiding him to a ground where they could stand at the same height.
Both were humanizing in their own way, Kazutora found himself thinking. Yet there was something so much more fragile - but still so solid, like a companionship that took time to develop - in the friendship in his dreams.
Sometimes, he found himself so deep in that he forgot the dreams weren’t just dreams.
He didn’t know what to do.
“What will you do, when you're out? It’s only in six months or so now, isn’t it?”
Kazutora jolted as he realized how soon it was. But it wasn’t soon at all, Kazutora had spent so long trapped in here, he needed air, he needed freedom-
Yet some part of him felt lost, yet again, and afraid.
Afraid of the outside. Like the person he was in his dreams. Afraid to step into the unknown.
In a world where Mikey- where Mikey had betrayed him and Baji hadn’t stayed, where Toman had therefore forsaken him, what was left for him there?
“Find yourself.”
“I'll kill him,” Kazutora said, because he had mulled over his vengeance for far too long to back out now, “I'll kill Mikey, and I'll become the hero of my own story again.”
But those words he mulled to himself, they were now different. So different. He didn’t like it.
What would he do, after that?
What would he do if he failed?
What would he do if no one was out there waiting for him?
Baji would. Right? He would help him, stay with him.
What about Chifuyu?
Would he wait? Would he guide him, like his future self did?
Kazutora didn’t want to be a shadow. He didn’t want to be alone.
Now that his burning need for revenge- for redemption had simmered down, he felt above all the helplessness of being all alone.
He wanted to reach out.
But who would accept him? Everyone betrayed. Everyone did.
“We might die. I can’t guarantee your life, or mine. If I fail here, I'll be abandoning you.”
“I know. But that won’t be your fault. It’s not… on purpose.”
‘I won’t let you die.’
He thought about that man's gaze, unreadable yet understanding, about the clipped words he spoke like he didn’t know how to help another human being, and those words.
To accept what I am now, is what I chose to be. To be my own person, and choose for myself…
What exactly does that entail?
Six more months.
Anticipation, both fear and impatience.
Kazutora didn’t know if he was ready.
Didn’t know when he had started to think he needed to be ready before he left this cage.
I don’t want to be the villain.
I need to be the hero.
So I have to… I have to kill- kill the villain. This way I'll be…
‘But you'll still be a villain at the end of it, you know?’ It was his own voice, and he flinched at it.
Just six more.
And then, all this torment would end. Everything would be over.
Then, everything would start again, whether he wanted it or not.
“How are you holding up?” Baji asked.
Chifuyu looked at him. His mother had already left for work, leaving him looking through the kitchen's drawers to find something easy to eat. He didn’t feel like cooking or whipping anything up.
Baji was up.
“I should be asking you that,” Chifuyu threw at him, deciding to just put some rice in the rice-cooker. “You're the one who learned about your own death yesterday.”
“And you're the time traveler,” Baji retorted flatly, making to sit at the dinner table.
Chifuyu knew he wouldn’t escape this time. He hummed, buying himself some time by taking out some glasses and filling them with water.
Holding up was actually a good term for it, he found.
“Fine,” he said, then developed when he saw Baji's disbelievingly raised eyebrow. “I've been going about it quickly and efficiently. I don’t want to waste time going crazy on you.”
Baji didn’t seem to take the last quip as a joke. So he had figured it out, huh. Of course, it was Baji. Chifuyu didn’t expect any less from him.
“Are you sure you're alright?”
Chifuyu looked back at him over his shoulder. He pressed his lips together momentarily, before nonchalantly throwing another point in, under the cover of joking rhetorics.
“You're strangely adamant about that. Shouldn’t you be asking me where I come from first?”
Did Baji see him as Chifuyu ?
Or was he like Ryusei? Ryusei who had asked him, just two days before, who he was. Whether he was the real Matsuno Chifuyu, or not.
To be honest, Chifuyu wasn't sure. He knew who he was. He knew that, despite the different states of being he had evolved in through the timelines, at sixteen after Takemichi's death, at twenty-five and eleven months when he got caught by Kisaki, or just twelve-year old living a good life with his two… childhood friends.
Chifuyu thought Baji and Ryusei could be qualified as childhood friends , in his experience. It warmed his heart a bit, for some reason.
But that Chifuyu, small, full of energy and just waiting to prove himself, might just have gotten lost in the translation.
Who knew. What was an identity? Chifuyu didn’t feel any less whole for it. But for his friend, he felt…
“What's that for a question?” Baji cut through his thoughts, sounding somewhat mad. “You're Chifuyu. Just a bit older. Of course I wanna know where you come from, but that's like asking you what's been happening to you before I met you. It’s none of my business.”
For now, Chifuyu heard the warning for what it was.
Baji Keisuke, captain of the first division of Toman, compassionate and responsible when it counted, and who made a point of never interfering in his friends’ and subordinates’ private business if he could help it. Not because he didn’t like to, but because he respected them and their need for privacy.
The captain who wouldn’t hesitate to dive into it head first if it meant saving a friend.
Oh, Baji.
Chifuyu swallowed back his tears.
“You know, Baji-san?” he spoke with a quivering smile, one he couldn’t help.
He was glad he still had his back to the man. One word of Baji and he turned right back to the emotional teenager he'd once been.
Or no. His teenager self had had more composure than that. Must be the brain, Chifuyu wasn’t used to it anymore.
And it was Baji.
“I really missed you.”
He felt like crying.
It was in these sorts of moments that Chifuyu realized all over again that, oh, gods.
Baji-san is alive.
Baji must have felt that something was wrong, because he'd quietened. Chifuyu could feel his copper gaze boring into his back.
Nothing was said for a while. Chifuyu thought it was Baji giving him some emotional privacy or something. He brought the rest to the dinner table and sat down. He knew better than to make himself some coffee, he knew it wouldn’t be very good for him at this age. So he just sipped an orange juice, bathing in the familiar atmosphere.
“I am curious about one thing in the future,” Baji spoke up eventually, looking Chifuyu in the eyes.
“What is it?”
“Ryusei.”
Of course.
Ryusei was not part of the tape's content, much like Baji, but for a completely different reason.
If the time travelers didn’t talk about Baji, it was because they wanted to forget.
If they didn’t talk about Ryusei, it was because they didn’t know him well enough.
Chifuyu put down his glass, considering. This much wouldn’t hurt, surely.
“In the next month, Ryusei's childhood friends will receive a letter from their father, and they will agree to become his charges. He'll offer them a job too. So they'll change countries to join him,” he began with measured words. “Ryusei ended up joining them in January, because you told him to stop being indecisive.”
By punching his face. Nicely. Oh well.
Baji looked slightly relieved.
“So he’ll be alright,” he said, but it still sounded like a question, so Chifuyu took pity on him.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “Ryusei will be alright.”
Baji nodded, satisfied.
“You know, he’s been remembering stuff too.”
Chifuyu perked up, taken aback.
“What?”
Baji took some bread and bit into it unceremoniously, still looking down at the table like he was ruminating something.
“Didn’t say what. Just that it was happening to him. That’s how we knew he lived,” Baji added somberly.
That made sense. But Chifuyu had cut off all contact with Ryusei after Baji’s second death anniversary. They’d never even met after that, so…
He had no idea what Ryusei could be remembering.
“I see,” he said, finding nothing else to see on the topic.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, finishing their improvised breakfast, then Baji rose to his feet.
“Come on, let’s go.”
And off they went to school. They first passed by Baji’s apartment so that he could pick up everything he needed, then they were on their way.
“Ah,” Baji said as they walked. “There was something else I needed to tell you. It’s about Mikey.”
Chifuyu repressed the urge to draw his shoulders inward.
“What about him?”
“He’s organising a gathering for Christmas holiday’s eve. He wants you to come too.”
Chifuyu said nothing for a while, keenly aware that Baji was observing him and his reactions.
A gathering, huh.
Toman. The old Toman.
He didn’t know if he could do it. The last time he’d seen anyone from the original first division must have been Sunday, when he went to take a look down the river. He hadn’t joined in, instead opting to kick a whole firearm trafficking gang and steal their hideout for himself, but what he had seen was enough for him to know he wasn’t ready.
And then Mikey…
“Mikey also said he’d come check in on you,” Baji added, carefully not looking at Chifuyu, surprisingly tactful. “I understand if you’d rather not go with us, but he’ll try to convince you anyway, I think. So just think until then.”
Oh, so Baji had realized that Chifuyu couldn’t bear to interact with Toman for now, too. That boy saw so much more than Chifuyu ever understood. Or maybe it was Chifuyu who’d changed, who had become obvious.
How had he used to do it, when he had really been a nearly thirteen-year old teenager? He didn’t remember having had so much trouble. But then again, at thirteen, he’d just been living his life, exploring the new possibilities opening to him, and finding his place by Baji’s side, determined to become the best support anyone had ever had. He’d been discovering how it felt to have people backing him up. Baji, Ryusei, but also Chuu and all the others from the first division.
How long had it been since he’d talked to any of them?
He felt anxious.
A rough hand pressed on his head and he let it. It came down and ruffled his hair gruffly, and Chifuyu grunted in displeasure. Baji didn’t mind it, instead speaking again.
“I can literally hear you burying yourself in your own head. What’s on your mind?”
Chifuyu waited for Baji to stop his roughing before he answered, a hand coming to his head to rearrange his locks.
“Nothing. I was just thinking that… I’m not actually grounded, am I?”
Baji gave him the stink eye.
“You are.”
“You said if I disappeared again you’d involve yourself in my business. Technically now you know about my business, so…”
“Chifuyu, no.”
“Would you feel safer if I left the gun in my room before I left?”
Baji’s face did something weird. Like he’d bitten a lemon, but also something of guilt with a touch of relief. Basically, if Chifuyu got it right, he was guilty because Chifuyu had found him out, relieved because that might be exactly what Baji wanted, and sour because Chifuyu had just reminded him of the gun which seemed to be a great problem.
Chifuyu rolled his eyes.
“I’m not going to kill myself,” he muttered.
“I don’t know that.”
“Baji,” Chifuyu stopped walking, looking at him dead in the eyes. “Don’t coddle me. Do you know why I didn’t want you to know about the tape?”
Baji sighed, and stopped as well. He seemed uncomfortable.
“Because you thought we wouldn’t believe you?” he mumbled half-heartedly.
“You know that’s not it,” Chifuyu shot back with intensity. “Has anything changed since you’ve learned of all that shit?”
Baji brought his locks back with a frustrated palm.
“Of course it’s changed,” he let out. “I’m not going to ignore that Toman… that…” he sighed, giving up on completing his sentence.
Chifuyu stared at him, not unkindly.
“I don’t know what your priorities are,” he told him softly. “But mine are clear to me.”
He opened his mouth to argue more, but stopped. Baji didn’t know what timeline Chifuyu came from. He didn’t know. And Chifuyu would like it to stay that way because…
The reason I didn’t want you to know. It’s because I don’t want you to look at me differently.
I don’t want you to hate me.
He couldn’t say that to Baji. He closed his mouth, swallowing back his words.
“I know you’re worried.”
“Not worried.”
Chifuyu ignored him.
“But I’m not like Yuzuha and Mitsuya. I don’t plan on…” on dying, even if I don’t know what place I’m supposed to take in this world, in this future, “I am not, I have never been weak ,” he snarled low. “So don’t treat me like I’m weak or like I’m irrational.”
Chifuyu was nothing if not rational.
As for what he knew to be irrational, within him…
It’s fine.
As long as you don’t hate me, I won’t try anything.
Ryusei already… but not you. Please. Not you.
I’ll be fine as long as I know that.
Chifuyu knew not to trust himself entirely. But he also knew how to control it.
It was a thin rope he was walking on. But as long as he had control , Chifuyu wouldn’t falter.
I’m holding up.
“Trust me,” he said, and Baji looked at him like he’d just pierced his heart with a sword and that he should have dodged, but hadn’t known how to.
“Okay. Okay.”
Chifuyu smiled.
“Thanks.”
“ Don’t go sappy on me. You still leave all your weapons at your apartment. If you have more. You can still fight with your fists, right?”
Chifuyu stared flatly.
“Right. I know, I saw. Then no need for weapons. We don’t fight with weapons.”
“I know.”
Chifuyu followed Baji as he started walking again, quietly reeling. This conversation… talking about that so easily, it felt…
Surreal.
Chifuyu had never thought it possible. But maybe that just meant he’d overestimated this. Them.
Maybe, just maybe, everything’s going to be alright.
Atsushi knew he wouldn’t be able to do it alone. So he told people.
He told his friends, people he could trust. Even if the Takemichi from the future wasn’t there, he still had his friend with him, and he trusted them. He even told the people he knew from Toman about this.
He knew they were all going to be fine.
With this crowd, he knew they could do it. Just like they found a gun, when if he had been alone, Atsushi would never had been able to. Number made them strong, courageous.
Atsushi didn’t want to finish like his future self but…
He still wanted to try. Toman didn’t sound so bad, with a bit of courage. With people to fight with.
Atsushi admired them. The people who were naturally brave. Like Takemichi. Like Draken, who’d taken a knife and still managed to be his proud, cynic and fighting self. Atsushi…
…really admired that.
So now was the time to stop admiring heroes like a child, and start working toward resembling them.
“Let’s do this guys.”
“Yeah!”
Chapter 44: .: Hurt for him
Summary:
ANNIVERSARY CHAPTER 3/3
One day pass. And another.
Ryusei finds a stray.
Baji helps the stray.
They talk.
Notes:
Hi! Today is the 5/11, 13:40 as I write this, and I just finished the third chapter of the anniversary! It was last year that I first posted a chapter for this fic! Deserves an applause! And a few chapters, which I've delivered. While I was gone, I see this fandom's got a couple more interesting stories about Chifuyu! I was very happy to read them, and I'm very happy to update this story again right now. I noticed the last time I actually updated was at Christmas' Eve ahahaha I only seem to update during special days now? Sure, let's go with that. I hope this made you all very happy as well.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ryusei avoided Chifuyu that day.
Actually, he didn’t really avoid him. He just skipped school altogether.
“Ryusei?”
He smiled and waved at his comrades from the first division. He knew some of them always lazed around these parts.
“Hi, guys~”
Chuu came up to him, slapping his back for good measure while Ryusei took it in stride.
“What’re you doing here, man? Ain’t you supposed to have school?”
“I’m skipping,” Ryusei told him with no hesitation. “It was really getting boring… Why is everything so easy!?”
“Right, this is our resident genius…”
They let him sit with them.
“So?”
Ryusei blinked, tilted his head.
“So what?”
“Was Chifuyu found?”
Ryusei tensed slightly, then relaxed promptly. Had they forgotten to tell the rest of the group two days ago? Thinking about it, the only people they had told about Chifuyu himself were Baji’s friends. No one from their own division. How idiotic of them.
“Yeah. Forgot to tell you men. How’d you know?”
“You haven’t cracked a narcissistic joke in ten days, Ryusei.”
“Ah, right.” Ryusei should work on his game.
“So, how is he? He doesn’t answer my calls.”
Figured.
Ryusei sighed.
“I’m sorry, Chuu. I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“That bad, huh.”
Ryusei chuckled drily. Probably worse, he thought idly, but didn’t answer.
For a couple hours, he simply sat there in the company of his division members. They spent time jesting, and Chuu was even goaded into a small spar. Ryusei was content watching them for a while. Then, he followed along as they went in to check with some friends in different divisions.
“What are you doing during the weekend? I was thinking about some biking.”
“Nice!”
“Sorry, I can’t…”
“Can I join?”
They turned. The sight that awaited Ryusei was that of a rather short person, with wild untamed blue hair. He was walking towards them with an intense gaze and sulking features and- huh.
Wasn’t that Angry? From the fourth division?
The boy tilted his head.
“Wait,” he said, sounding less upset than he looked. “Is that you, Ryusei?”
“Yeah,” Ryusei scratched his cheek with one of his usual smiles. “That's me. Been a while. How's the vice alliance doing?”
“Pretty well, if you ask me. But I was pretty sure you had school today?” it sounded like a question because Angry was more polite than he seemed at first contact.
“None your business,” Ryusei retorted playfully. “Besides, I could say the same for you.”
“Teacher's sick,” Angry shrugged. “So, biking?”
“Sure, if you want to.”
Ryusei wouldn’t say no to a distraction after everything that had happened. He frowned minutely. Wasn’t Angry always with his twin usually, though?
“Will Smiley come as well?” he inquired.
Angry's face scrunched up as though he really were angry. Maybe he was.
“I'd rather not.”
Ryusei blinked in surprise.
“Are you avoiding him?”
Angry looked away.
“Not your business.”
Ah. Well then.
It was strangely amusing.
“I see,” Ryusei smirked, maybe a bit bitterly. “That makes two of us then.”
Angry turned to him, his brows raised high, but Ryusei didn’t give him any time to ask, instead turning towards his division members again.
“So what say you? Get your bikes out Saturday, same place?”
He received a flurry of nods and exclamations.
“Okay,” Chuu agreed, “maybe somewhere in the afternoon, but not too late! It’s starting to get cold around here.”
“Say, two?”
“Let’s go for two.”
And with one outing planned, Ryusei already felt a bit more like himself. Surrounded by the guys, doing their usual stuff and skipping class because he could, it didn’t feel so horrible.
At least, as long as he ignored all the thoughts raging at the back of his mind waiting for him to give them the time of day. He knew if he ignored them too long, they’d start manifesting in his dreams.
“Damn,” he groaned, “now I’m hungry…”
“I know a good restaurant, if you want,” Angry suggested, to Ryusei’s surprise.
Oh well. The boy looked like he needed a distraction as well.
“Yours?”
“Nah. Lemme show the way.”
That was how Ryusei and Angry found themselves in a cheap place looking for a bite. Angry ordered extra spicy ramen while Ryusei settled for meatballs. It was calm enough, although Ryusei was indeed asking himself how this situation had gone from hanging out with Chuu and the others to grabbing lunch with the vice captain of the fourth division.
No matter.
After a while, he noticed Angry staring.
“What is it?”
“You look horrible.”
Ryusei almost swallowed wrong, but then he looked up, annoyed.
“What do you mean by that? I’m as perfect as usual!”
Angry sipped his drink, not tearing his eyes away one moment.
“Never change,” he said flatly before adding. “I mean, you look like you didn’t sleep at all.”
Ryusei grimaced. He hadn’t bothered to check in the mirror before leaving home, but maybe he should have. What a predicament.
It was true that he hadn’t slept a whole lot, though…
“Ah…” he sighed, letting his head fall down in his hands. “And why did no one bother to inform me of it earlier?”
“Dunno. Maybe they didn’t want to fire at your ego,” Angry tried to answer around a mouthful of ramen.
Ryusei repressed a second sigh, knowing it would be of no use to show his excess of emotions. Angry still gazed at him, seemingly intrigued.
“So,” he smiled, trying to change the subject, “apart from admiring my apparently flawed beauty, what did you come around here for?”
“Can’t I just want to get away from my brother once in a while?” Angry grumbled. “I could say the same for you, you usually keep close to the two others.”
Ryusei pressed his lips together.
Seemed like they both really didn’t want to talk about it. What then?
Should they be depressed together? Have their private pity party?
“I suppose you weren’t actually planning to stumble upon me?”
“Nah,” Angry hid his face behind his bowl. “I was looking for Baji.”
“Why?”
“For advice.”
“About fighting?” Ryusei assumed.
“Sort of. A bit about school too…”
Ryusei winced.
“If there's someone you really shouldn’t ask for advice regarding school, it’s Baji.”
Angry huffed weakly.
“I know,” he mumbled. “It’s not about that.”
“Then…?”
There was a quiet instant, full of hesitation. And then…
“I was wondering if I should drop out of school, after I turn fifteen.”
Ryusei's eyebrows rose to his hairline. But he caught himself quickly enough. This was serious then.
“So, it’s about the future.”
“About the future.”
Chifuyu turned to Baji, somewhat worried. And he had been right to be worried.
“Do you think you'd be okay talking with the other guys from the division?”
Chifuyu knew that his face revealed nothing, yet it seemed Baji still had an idea of what he was thinking. He raised a reassuring hand in the air.
“Now don’t take it as in I'm going to force you to interact with them. You wouldn’t need to talk to them at all.”
Although after all the time Chifuyu had been away, there was no doubt his friends were going to ask about him. Baji didn’t say it, but they both knew it.
Chifuyu knew this was going to be an obstacle, if… if he was going to stay. Now that he thought about it, slow exposure could have worked. He'd have appreciated the tactile phones from the future, for the purpose of video-calling the division at a gathering from Baji’s phone and just trying to get used to their faces and voices again…
But it wouldn’t work in this time and age. And neither would a call of such length, not for middle schoolers like them. It cost a bit too much.
“I'd rather stay at a distance for now,” he told Baji, who'd patiently waited for him to sort his ideas. “Is it alright if I… miss a couple gatherings?”
Baji's eyebrows ticked.
“I'd rather not,” he drawled, “but then again, Ryusei does it enough for it to have become the norm.”
Chifuyu wanted to smile, and so he did, just a bit. But his thoughts were elsewhere.
He shouldn’t be burdening Baji with his problems. He should be able to find a solution. Maybe he should just get a grip already and face them all with a bit of courage.
“I'll go with you,” Chifuyu settled on, before cracking a smile. “I'll just say I'm sick and I'll hide behind your back.”
Baji huffed back, tentatively, scanning his features nervously, Chifuyu could tell.
“That's something I can’t imagine you doing,” he said.
“Of course I wouldn’t. It’s just a manner of speech.”
“A… huh…”
“It was an exaggeration and a joke,” Chifuyu supplied for him, and Baji nodded firmly.
“I knew that.”
Chifuyu didn’t smile this time, but he gazed fondly.
“I don’t doubt your knowledge, Baji-san,” he assured the boy.
He had missed Baji. Some time, when Baji did something he used to do, Chifuyu felt like the good of his predicament was revealed to him all over again. Baji was alive and well, and he was talking and moving and doing things that Chifuyu had almost, almost forgotten about.
Baji must have perceived something because he looked at him a second too long, and then hurried to change the subject.
“I swear where is Ryusei when you need him… Just wait a second, I'm calling him.”
“Sure.”
Chifuyu knew why Ryusei wasn’t at school. It was probably due to Chifuyu himself being there. But he said nothing. It wasn’t like Baji wasn’t aware of that fact as well.
After the day prior, everything they could manage to forget was a win in their books.
“You're skipping?! The finals are in a couple weeks and you're skipping? You're… was that Angry with you?”
Seemed like Ryusei always managed to get himself in trouble, Chifuyu pondered idly.
“Fuck you.”
It also sounded like Ryusei was being his usual annoying self. Chifuyu allowed himself a small smile at the thought.
But now he hates you.
Chifuyu lost his smile.
He saw. He thinks you killed me. He thinks you aren’t me.
Shut up.
We'll never bicker again. You changed me.
There is no you. I changed because of my experiences.
And he will never accept that.
“Chifuyu.”
“Hm?”
Chifuyu looked back at Baji, hoping it wasn’t too obvious how the scenes of his own death yet again passed in front of his gaze.
“Ryusei says he'll have a guest tonight. And Mikey says he'll come by Friday. Don’t ask me why. But it means you'll have to help me before the finals before you go off to wherever.”
Chifuyu tilted his head.
“The finals?”
Baji sat next to Chifuyu.
“Yeah, it’s soon. You remember your middle school class at least?”
Chifuyu frowned.
“I might need to review them. But I should be familiar with it.”
He should get rid of that habit of talking articulately. It didn’t fit well enough with the person he was back then.
He should also stop reminding Baji that he's not the original Chifuyu.
But then he blinked and reminded himself he was the original Chifuyu. He was just saying bullshit.
“Chifuyu?”
“Nothing, just lost in thoughts.”
Baji didn’t pry.
The rest of the day was spent peacefully enough, and then Chifuyu took the night to tutor Keisuke.
The next morning, when Keisuke went to check in at Chifuyu's window, the blond was already gone wherever.
From his position, he could see the shadow of a firearm hidden under the bed.
Good.
But then he received a call from Ryusei on the way to school.
“What do you want, asshole?”
“Hi again, Baji~ I’m fine what about you?”
“To the point,” Keisuke growled in the receptor.
“Alright, you’re just as boring as ever.” It ticked Keisuke off the way Ryusei was talking to him as though nothing had happened at all this week, but let it go for now. “So I have a friend here who’s eager to talk to you about something. You up for some fighting lessons?”
“I’m going to school. ”
“After school.”
Keisuke paused.
“Is this actually important?”
“...Yeah. Mildly, I’ll say. Four in the afternoon, by the riverside?”
“Sure.”
This might be Keisuke’s chance to talk things out with Ryusei for real. He still attempted to focus in class as much as he could, but as soon as the final ring echoed, he gathered everything in his bag and left the school grounds. As expected, he met Ryusei at the division’s usual spot by the river. The Sunday they had spent playing soccer and sparring there felt like an eternity away now. A semblance of calm had spread over the last couple days, but Keisuke knew better than to think it wasn’t just a barrier his- their minds built to numb them. He’d lived that before, he knew enough.
As it happened, Ryusei was accompanied. Which Keisuke expected, but he was still surprised.
“Huh…” Keisuke stared at the newcomer, perhaps a bit too glaringly but he couldn’t really care about it. “Hey.”
Angry nodded.
“Hi.”
Keisuke raised an eyebrow towards Ryusei.
“Is he the friend who needs a hand?”
Ryusei smiled cheerfully.
“That’s right,” he spoke breathily, sounding quite joyful but Keisuke knew it was just a way to go through formalities and explanations more easily.
The like of them wouldn’t be delinquents if they had their way around with words. Except Mitsuya, Mitsuya was weird.
And dead. Wait no-
Keisuke bit the inside of his cheek and let go of his bag.
“So, Angry,” he addressed the blue-haired boy directly. “Heard you wanted to train with me. I’m a bit busy with the exams coming up, so I hope you have a good reason.”
Angry didn’t seem intimidated in the least, but maybe it was the resting bitch face’s effect.
“I’m sorry for taking up your time,” he said, impassively.
Except something burned in his eyes. Huh. Interesting.
Maybe Keisuke could spare a few more minutes after all.
He ended up sparing Angry more than a few minutes.
Angry wasn’t as strong as Keisuke. He wasn’t even as strong as Smiley, as it happened. Keisuke could understand that Angry, while not having strength equal to his brother’s, was the perfect synchronised support for the latter. Of course Keisuke still dominated their spar, and he hadn’t thought it’d be anything otherwise. Though, Angry was still asking for more after each defeat. Part of Keisuke wondered why.
“Everyone knows where you’re going to strike before you even move,” Keisuke told him before landing a punch. You’re not fast enough, your eyes and your feet betray you. Before you try to direct your body at the next bodypart you’re going to hit, start using it to power the blow. When your punch hits something, it’s all your body that hits something.”
But even despite all the boy’s defeats, he still had a proper fighting level, for the vice captain of the fourth division. They stopped after an hour and a half.
“It’s not like you’re actually bad,” Keisuke remarked with a confused glare. “You’re passable for the post you’ve got. Training’s always good, but there’s somethin’ you want to achieve with this. So, what’s this leading up to?”
Angry remained quiet for a moment, sitting down on the grass with a soft sigh of exhaustion. He hummed to himself for a moment. Ryusei had long gone to sit on the upper side of the hill.
What came out of Angry’s mouth was quite the contrary of what Keisuke could expect.
“Do you plan on pursuing superior studies, after high school?”
Keisuke almost did a double take, he turned back to glare at the blue-eyed middle schooler.
“HAH?” he exclaimed, irritated. “What’s that got to do with this? Want me to ask you your real hair colour while we’re at it?”
That was private, fuck him.
But Angry was still looking at Keisuke, not having flinched once at the outburst.
“Please,” he said.
Keisuke stared him down for a moment, trying to understand his motives. But finding nothing, he groaned, combing his hair once with an awkward hand.
“‘f course I will,” he answered, glaring away.
“Even though you’re strong?”
“What’s- yes, even if I’m strong, what are you trying to ask?”
“Even if you’re bad at school?”
“I’m going to punch you so hard you’ll skip the seeing stars bit and go straight to being unconscious.”
But Angry didn’t react, only tucking his chin in further, still looking at Keisuke. It was slightly unsettling.
“Okay, yeah, even if I’m bad at school. Doesn’t matter, I’m sure I’ll get better,” he insisted sullenly. “What’s that got to do with you though? Don’t you have a restaurant to fully inherit after you’re done with your studies? Shouldn’t you know what you’re going to do?”
Angry pressed his lips together, gazing down at his knees in contemplation. Keisuke thought for a second, and then sighed.
“Smiley said something stupid, didn’t he.”
The boy’s shoulders drew themselves in. Keisuke let out another frustrated groan. Why did he have to deal with this? why did Angry go to him for advice of all things?
“No,” he decided, “I’m not dealing with this today. Just- I don’t know…” he’d never taught anyone anything before, seriously, what was he doing? “Practice your hook without giving yourself away. Use your knee, your waist up and your shoulder to give that punch, and- and just practice that. I’ll check in on ya in, huh, some time. Give me a break.”
Angry nodded, though his nose was slightly scrunched up. As for Keisuke, he went to join Ryusei up the hill, sitting down next to him.
“What did you throw at me now, idiot…”
Ryusei chuckled drily.
“Come on, don’t say that. He needed the help, didn’t he?”
“Do I look like I care?”
“You do, idiot.”
There was a lull between them, as they observed Angry trying to figure it out better at a distance. Keisuke thought this might be as good a time as any to finally have that talk with Ryusei.
But Ryusei beat him to it.
“You asked Chifuyu about the timeline?”
It was said soberly. Keisuke stirred, but didn’t look at Ryusei yet.
“Nah,” he replied. “I’m not going to ask him something he’s uncomfortable with.”
“You’re a fool.”
Keisuke ignored him.
“He did say twas thirteen years up.”
The atmosphere was tense. It became worse after that. Keisuke didn’t like it.
“Ryusei-”
“I’m surprised you agreed to come. Thought you’d be guarding him like a trained dog or something.”
Keisuke jabbed him in the side, making Ryusei bend over with a silent whine.
“Asshole,” he called him out. “I don’t need to. He can do whatever he wants.”
“Really? And where is he now?”
“Probably adding content to his tape.”
“And you let him go?” Ryusei was frowning at him, it was at the limit between the stare and the glare, but Keisuke didn’t mind it for once.
“Yeh. It’s fine. He left his gun at home.”
Ryusei was fully glaring now as he replied beat to beat, flatly yet aggressive:
“Well then if he left the gun at home then it’s fine isn’t i-” but before he could finish his sarcastic remark his eyes widened and he repeated, “he left his WHAT?! ”
It was Keisuke’s turn to stare him down flatly.
“His gun.”
Ryusei choked angrily.
“He has a gun and you let him out of your sight?! Are you crazy?!”
Ryusei could pretend all he wanted, his spontaneous reactions betrayed him, Keisuke thought.
“I trust him,” he told Ryusei without preamble, completely serious, and it made Ryusei stare at him disbelievingly but silently. “If he says it’s alright, then I believe him. You said it yourself, Chifuyu wouldn’t lie to me.”
“That was before! ”
“And it’s still the case,” Keisuke countered. “If you’d just spent some time with him, you’d know,” he accused.
“I…”
Ryusei cut himself and turned the other way. Like a man who didn’t want to hear logic.
“And what if you’re wrong? What if you’re just delusional?”
“Ryusei,” Keisuke called him again, his voice low like a growl, like a warning.
But it wasn’t one.
“You think you’re hurt because of him but you’re not. If you thought he was really gone, you’d be angry. And you wouldn’t care that he could die.”
Ryusei flinched away. But Keisuke kept on.
“You can’t pretend you don’t care forever, bastard. You’re grieving, but not for the dead. You’re hurt for him. Get that in your fucking skull before you come talk to Chifuyu again.”
Ryusei glared right back now, but Keisuke could discern emotion within his eyes.
Ryusei wasn’t an idiot. He’d figure it out eventually. So, Keisuke, with a sigh, stood up and stretched.
“The surgery’s for Tuesday. If you’re still playing the imbecile by then, I’ll come punch you.”
With that, Keisuke descended back to Angry, ready for some more exercise. All the while Ryusei’s intent gaze bore into the back of his skull.
He shouldn’t tard, he thought. Chifuyu would be back soon.
Draken directly went to confront Takemichi after this. The least he could do was to let Takemichi know he wasn’t fighting alone. Together, they’d save Mikey for sure.
And also…
“Hi, Ryusei. Been a long while. Yeah, sorry, stole your number from Baji. You have some time in October?”
Some things weren’t his to solve, and he knew when he needed to be a spectator. Didn’t mean he could help a bit along the lines.
If it didn’t work, he’d just punch Baji unconscious before anything happened.
We’ll figure it out, Takemicchi. And Mikey…
He smiled to himself.
Just wait for us.
There was a family to unite, and Draken wouldn’t be the one slacking off.
Notes:
As you've noticed, I've gotten a bit more precise with the date, because I realised that it's not actually so far away from canon's timeline. We have some things to go through before shit really hits the fan, but I assure you we're going to get there, whether in this fic or a second installment, I'll have to see ^^ also yes the actual days of the week aren't the right ones for the actual 2004 year of our world but who cares? Manga equals alternate universe meh-
I also had another time travel idea lurking in my brain. What would you think if Baji got leaped to the future before he died, miraculously safe and sound for the most part, as a teenager, and fell upon Kazutora and Chifuyu from our favourite bad timeline???
Well Chifuyu wouldn't be very happy for one thing..
Chapter 45: S: No peacemaker
Summary:
Smiley is angry and Angry is sad.
Chifuyu happens to be in the way of the former.
But first, he did promise someone to come back.
Notes:
HI! BLOODY HALLOWEEN IS HERE!
I was actually waiting for Baji's birthday to publish all of this, but I already have three chapters ready because I've been prolific for some reason so here you go with all three for this unjoyful occasion, it's Halloween! So everyone be merry and may no one get knifed! :D
Chapter Text
“Alright. Whatever happened with Smiley?”
Angry looked up to Keisuke, who was staring at him dead in the eyes. Keisuke raised an eyebrow, seeing that Angry was not answering yet.
To be fair, Keisuke had not actually wanted to involve himself with the twins’ business. But Ryusei had managed to persuade him that he might as well.
It took a frustrating while for Angry to stop looking at Keisuke and to start talking.
“Big Brother and I have a restaurant… that we're going to take over later,” he started. “But running a restaurant is… difficult. That's what people say.”
Ryusei tilted his head next to Keisuke.
“Is it what Smiley says too?” he inquired tactfully.
Angry shook his head.
“Not at all,” he denied. “Actually…”
And then he stopped speaking.
So much for talking. Keisuke sighed. Seemed like they were going to have to tear the info out of him if they wanted to solve this.
Or more like, if Keisuke wanted Ryusei not to have a pitiful puppy sleeping at his every night and therefore bothering Keisuke every day to solve the problem. Because that was what was going to happen. Keisuke just knew it.
“Did he say you should go to school because you're weak, or something?”
Keisuke could not quite see the logic there, but he had to start somewhere with what he knew.
If anything, Angry appeared to frown even more, living up to his nickname.
“It’s… the opposite…”
“Oh?”
“Big Brother said that… since I wasn’t particularly strong or good at school, there's no reason I shouldn’t just… ‘hang off his ankles for the rest of my life’...”
Keisuke blinked.
Smiley said that.
“Rude,” that was Ryusei.
“Ryusei, shut up.”
“Sure.”
Keisuke facepalmed. All this because of Smiley's big mouth. Seriously, the guy couldn’t even kindly clean up after his own messes? Right, nothing was kind about the boy.
So here Angry was, after his brother basically insulted his independence for some reason, and Keisuke…
Keisuke wasn’t a school psychologist for fuck's sake. What was he supposed to do right now?
“Fuck this,” he groaned. “You know what? Whatever. Let’s go back to training,” he ordered the blue haired boy, standing back up and announcing the end of the break. “Look, I'm not a babysitter. But even I know that gotta hurt to hear, so we're gonna do something about it. If he says you're weak, you just gotta prove him wrong, right?”
“Baji. Is this really the way to go?”
“Ryusei, I told you to shut the hell up already.”
“Oookay, see if I ever try to help you again…”
“You're not helping, you're just being a general nuisance for the fun and giggles.”
“You're right about that at least.”
Angry watched them bicker, something unreadable on his face that reminded Keisuke a bit of Chifuyu, as he was now. Hopefully Chifuyu had gone home by now. He would check in the evening, when this business was over for the day. Got to check in before Mikey walked in the day after.
And shit, Keisuke realised with a sigh as he started sparring with Angry again. He had forgotten about that.
If himself had seen the tape's content and felt like he couldn’t face Mikey without throwing up, how must Chifuyu, who actually lived through a part of it and watched the stupid thing, be holding up at the idea of meeting him?
Maybe this was something he should have thought of earlier, he grimaced internally as he deflected a blow. Then again he couldn’t have known, the first time he let Mikey come close to Chifuyu and literally left them on their own. No wonder Chifuyu had left on his own afterwards.
To think that had only been two days ago…
“You're precise,” he commented after grasping at Angry's thrown arm without any difficulty. “But you lack confidence.”
Angry deflated mildly, before he squared his shoulders and lowered his chin, his eyes not losing their spark of determination. At least Keisuke could appreciate that.
“Again,” Angry asked.
Looked like Keisuke would be home late.
After much thought, Chifuyu had decided not to film with the cast on. He would wait the next week to start it up again. In the end, he went to visit Kazutora once more.
He realised it was probably not a good idea, repeatedly hanging out with a mentally unwell teenager whom he was basically being unfair to by treating him like he would his old friend… but he had promised to come back.
And there was something in Kazutora's eyes, when he came… like he was really listening.
Chifuyu wondered if he remembered anything.
Of course, who was he kidding? If even Ryusei could remember then, Kazutora…
Kazutora must be living through hell, Chifuyu thought with a guilty conscience.
He should… probably address it soon. And ask Kazutora directly if… if he wanted Chifuyu to stay, or to leave. And take the memories away with him.
He entered the communication cell as usual. The first time he had gone in, he had noticed that there were little to no guards inside, and the conversations were not recorded. It made sense that security was not as tight as in national prisons. This was a juvenile prison, to rehabilitate young people. Not… what Chifuyu was used to.
That was why he had let himself admit that he had killed people as well, the first time he had come around. Or at least, he liked to tell himself that was the reason. He had been completely lost in memories at the time, swimming in general confusion. He had not done a full week of recording since, afraid of what it could do to him, especially since he did have a gun on him.
Kazutora came in afterwards. A gleam of recognition in his gaze when he turned to see Chifuyu already waiting there. Chifuyu smiled sharply at him, as a means of greeting.
“Hey. I said I'd be back.”
Kazutora stared then nodded. If it had been Baji, perhaps, Kazutora would have appeared unreadable. But Chifuyu was well acquainted with the emotions he read on Kazutora's features. The unease, the attempt at concealing vulnerability, the faint guilt that he was heavily repressing, the fear, so much fear…
And somewhere in there, the tentativeness, the curiosity of this strange person coming back again and again, without choosing a side.
Kazutora had explained it to Chifuyu, a long time ago now… the way he had thought when he was a teenager. It had been only once, it had been brief. But Chifuyu remembered.
Chifuyu had to remember everything. Who else would, in the fucked up world he had lived in?
Chifuyu attempted a small smile.
“I'm… sure you want explanations. As to who I am,” he eventually let out, after a mostly comfortable silence. “And why I keep visiting you, too. Although it’s a lot to learn about what is reasonably a stranger. So if you just… want me to leave instead and not come back… that's something I can do, too.”
Chifuyu did not want not to come back. Especially when he knew Kazutora needed company now more than ever, someone who could understand him and make him feel safe. And in a way, Chifuyu had more experience with that than anyone out of all the people he knew, and that Kazutora knew.
But if Kazutora had enough of him, or was in pain because of him… then maybe it was not worth the while. If it helped Kazutora, Chifuyu would leave and never come back.
“Please don’t leave.”
He blinked away the reminiscence easily.
He smirked lightly, hoping to achieve the impression of a light hearted conversation. He supposed he might be utterly failing, not for lack of skill but lack of trying.
“I know I said you didn’t have answer the first time I came around, and I'm sorry. But can you answer just… just this one question?”
He breathed in silently.
“Does my presence bother you?”
For a long moment, there was but silence. Chifuyu stared at Kazutora and Kazutora stared right back. Unwilling to say a word. Chifuyu waited. Something twisted his nerves inside his body, but he remained still.
He had always tried to remain… human. Open. To Kazutora. And so he willed himself not to close off, out of habit, willed himself open for Kazutora to see.
Chifuyu was not scared of Kazutora's gaze. Kazutora had seen him at his worst of himself, when morals blended with darkness, intertwined until they were indistinguishable from one another and there was righteousness in murder, there was crime in pity, and guilt in both silence and speaking up.
Kazutora had first seen him when Chifuyu had become the most horrible person he ever thought he could be. The one with a mind that did not flinch at gunshot, at innocent death, at torture. Who did all of those himself. The one who knew that the cost was too great but who never stopped anyways.
Kazutora had seen that man and had decided to follow him.
Kazutora had never seen him at his best. So there was nothing he feared from the gaze of the boy. Not like Baji's, not like Ryusei's.
Kazutora opened his mouth.
Closed it. Then…
“I have dreams about you.”
Chifuyu found himself almost shocked that Kazutora had spoken back to him, if not to answer the question. He nodded, composing himself rapidly.
“I can explain this too,” he confirmed. “If I stop coming, the dreams… will probably stop as well.”
He had no certainty of such fact, but he was fairly convinced that it must be the case.
“I'm sorry for the… the hindrance.”
“It’s fine.”
Kazutora surprised him again. Chifuyu looked up, searching through the amber irises digging similarly into him. Colder than he remembered them being, but more alive too, in a way.
More… anger, lying in wait. Being mustered up at will. Waiting, under the surface, a storm to unearth.
“Just tell me.”
Chifuyu gave Kazutora a moment to rescind the request. When nothing happened, he looked down, accepting.
This was the first time he would be telling someone. Baji and Ryusei had found out on their own. He had no intention of telling Mikey anything - nor was he particularly keen on seeing him again to be honest. And he could barely look the first division's boys in the eye.
He found it was not as difficult as he had imagined it to be.
“I came back from a possible future,” he revealed, without the weight he thought would be there.
Like this was just another fact about him. Just another element of his past, that people were eligible to learn about.
He wondered if that was how Takemichi felt, when he blurted out the truth to Chifuyu in that other timeline. But he pushed the thought away. Or course not. For Takemichi, the knowledge had been a heavy burden that he had not known how to shed. It was a burden that his companion from the future had implicitly commanded him not to reveal, in the case he revealed it to the wrong person. The secret had become heavier and heavier, and more and more difficult to unravel. When he told the truth to Chifuyu it had been…
It must have been a relief, for him.
They were not the same. Revealing his truth, Chifuyu did not feel anything in particular.
“And we were friends in that future. Or…,” he hesitated, “something close to that, at least. There was collateral damage in my time leaping back to here, and it’s probably why you're having reminiscences. Again, I'm sorry about it.”
Despite himself, Chifuyu could not help but catch and scan all the micro changes in Kazutora's expression. One could call it professional deformation. Chifuyu did not necessarily like knowing the secret thoughts of all his allies- his friends, but it had been ingrained into his being for too long a time, and he already knew that Kazutora's first thought was that he had misheard.
His second thought, complete unabashed surprise.
The third, immediately after, was consideration.
Kazutora, it seemed, did not doubt Chifuyu's words for long.
It reminded Chifuyu of his own reaction to Takemichi's secrets.
The way his mind had only briefly surrendered to the instinctive denial and doubt, before the clues indicating the truth had jumped back at the forefront of his mind, suddenly making sense in a manner that could not be misunderstood as such.
Back then, he had remembered Takemichi's words to Baji. And his determination to help a group of people he knew only for a short while, without any will to physically fight until Mitsuya headbutted him about it.
Right now, Chifuyu could only imagine what Kazutora was thinking about. Were there things that Chifuyu had said that made sense now? Or was it something he saw in a recollection?
It was a long time before either of them spoke again. Chifuyu almost decided himself to speak before the visiting time was up. But Kazjtora got there first.
“You said…”
Chifuyu perked up.
“You said I'd killed two people,” Kazutora murmured, and Chifuyu really should not be surprised that Kazutora had connected the dots so easily. “The latter, was it… Mikey?”
Oh.
Chifuyu shook his head.
“No,” he said. “Mikey… things happened, and he decided to try and be your friend again.”
“...Did I agree to that?”
“You did.”
It never got to happen. Not in Chifuyu's time.
“Why?”
This was tricky. How much did Chifuyu want to say? If he said anything about Baji, Kazutora might recollect the memories of his future self, and Chifuyu wanted to avoid this. So not that.
“Because,” he chose his words carefully. “You think there can only be two sides, and you feel like right now, it’s you against the rest of the world.”
He did not miss how Kazutora jolted. He went on, steady.
“But you might end up realising that Mikey wants to be on your side, and that Toman as a whole, might also want to be on your side.”
“What about you?”
Chifuyu froze.
What… about him?
Whose side was he on, was that the question?
Mikey leaving them all to die.
Kazutora returning to life and finding Chifuyu worthy.
Kazutora killing Baji.
Mikey looking at him like he was still their precious gang leader.
Mikey, covered in blood, with a katana in his hands, buried in Chifuyu's friend's lung.
“I appreciate you both,” he started saying, with a low voice, head full of moments that belonged only to him now. “My loyalty goes to the people I love. You are both on my side. But…”
Kazutora's gaze had turned hazy, unseeing. Chifuyu repeated louder.
“But!”
Kazutora flinched back to reality. Chifuyu looked at him, weary and honest.
“If push comes to shove, I don’t trust Mikey. And I'll defend you with my life.”
That was, perhaps, what Chifuyu owed Kazutora, after everything that he had done for him.
“You don’t… you know Mikey.”
It was like, after all this time, Kazutora had only now just clocked onto Chifuyu's acquaintanceship with Mikey. Chifuyu nodded.
“I do. But I don’t want to talk about him.”
Kazutora stared sharply at him, more sharply than at any moment prior in their conversations. That old grudge had awakened. What did it mean for Chifuyu? There was still about a year before the fatal point of no return. Was Kazutora going to forsake Chifuyu too, now?
But Kazutora remained silent. Only a few words passed his lips before he enmured himself in mutism again.
“You can stay.”
After that, no matter what Chifuyu said, Kazutora remained quiet. Chifuyu accepted it. He did not want to push.
So… he started telling Kazutora about his cat. Peke J.
“I haven’t really seen him in a while,” he was saying. “Not properly, at least. I'm sure he would love you. Unfortunately, I can’t bring him here.”
And about his manga.
“I didn’t read them ,when I was older because I was the overthinking kind of adult who couldn’t take a rest,” he underdramatised the situation greatly, “but now that I have some time on my hands again, I should try to reacquaint myself with a few stories. Maybe I'll bring in a few, or send them by mail.”
And finally, he spoke about himself.
“I'll soon be leaving. But I'll be back. I know this might be annoying to you, someone visiting every few days when you were all on your own, gathering your thoughts for a year and a half now… but think about it like this. It’s not you that needs me right now. It's me who needs a friend.”
He stood up, spoke his goodbye and left.
Kazutora never said another word.
For a moment, Chifuyu could see Kazutora, the way he had been in his future, thirteen years from now. He could see Kazutora the way he had been, the day Chifuyu had left him alone for the very last time, with this suspicion in his mind that perhaps he would not be able to come back. A suspicion so slim and omnipresent back then that he had not confided in Kazutora about it.
The uncertainty written there, ever the same.
This time, he thought, Chifuyu would come back.
He left the building with his fists clenched. He was pathetic. To seek the help of a boy who needed it first and foremost for himself… Chifuyu as he was would never know how to help. By now, all he knew to do was to destroy. Just like he had, inevitably, destroyed Ryusei's memories of him with his cold distance.
Baji tried, but would he ever understand truly? Chifuyu did not want him to. He wanted Baji to be too happy to know about the weight of the darkness Chifuyu carried. He did not want Baji to witness any more death. Was it selfish of him? It might be.
But Kazutora had nothing to do with it. Yet, Chifuyu was the one dragging him into his mess, using him as a confident and as a friend, when Kazutora likely did not see him this way. Chifuyu was not able to tell whether he was doing it out of weakness or out of guilt. Was he helping himself? Or was he trying to give to Kazutora what Chifuyu owed to him?
Chifuyu did not know. He did not know.
He needed to know. He needed to clarify his own actions. He had not survived so long by being uncertain. And…
And he still needed to survive this ordeal.
His life debt to Baji and all the people that had stopped him from falling too deep into darkness was not a debt that could be cleaned through death and life sacrifice.
What use was Chifuyu dead?
Before he could finish that trail or thought, someone made to throw an arm around his shoulders.
Chifuyu tensed and stopped, and let them, repressing a violent reaction. His first instinct was to scan for a weapon. No knife, no gun at his head or back. Most importantly, this hint of colour at the edge of his vision…
He did not know whether it was better or worse than an assaulter.
“Hey,” Smiley drawled, a grin as always firm on his face. “Chifuyu! Got a second?”
Chifuyu untensed. His nerves burned. He was alert. It was just Smiley, he told himself, it was just…
Just…
Fuck. Chifuyu wasn’t ready.
“What is it?” he gritted out painfully. “I'm tired and I want to go home.”
“Don’t worry!” Smiley snickered ominously. “It’ll be just a minute! Can you let me know where Baji is right now?”
Chifuyu wriggled out of the grip to give Smiley a suspicious glare.
“Calm down! I won’t fight him! I lost badly enough last time, I'll need a while longer to make up a new winning strategy. Or you want to fight me?”
“No thanks. What do you want with Baji-san?”
“So noisy. It’s captain business, alright?”
Chifuyu should be ashamed of himself. But he reasoned with himself as he worked through this year's context, that he was still getting used to being in 2004 again, and his slow reaction time was normal. Because only then did Chifuyu noticed that the situation that had befallen him was slightly abnormal.
Of course, this sort of rationalisation would not hold back at home, he thought as he tuned Smiley's rambling and following threats out to focus on the missing information. He would have been dead, unusual or not. But he needed to remember this was… a more peaceful time. And it would stay so.
Still, he needed to get a grip again. This wouldn’t do at all.
“Why isn’t Angry with you?”
Smiley stopped talking in the middle of a sentence. Chifuyu raised an eyebrow.
Smiley's grin strained.
“Fuck you, mess with your own business-”
“He's mad at you isn’t he,” Chifuyu deadpanned. “And now you're looking for him.”
Smiley took a second too long to deny. So, Chifuyu made a show of sighing. It was not completely a show. He was too tired to clean up any mess right now. Fuck this day and fuck this week, right.
“Look. Whyever you think Angry's with Baji-san, it’s late. Baji-san will have gone home right now, and he doesn’t have a guest room.”
“Well then, mister genius, where the hell could Angry be now?” Smiley sounded distinctly pissed off behind the grin.
Ryusei says he has a guest tonight, Baji's words crossed Chifuyu's mind quickly.
“Dunno,” he shrugged.
And then, in his momentum, he made a mistake.
“Why is Angry even mad at you again?”
He shut his mouth immediately. Smiley looked at him. Then looked away.
Shit.
Because ten minutes later Chifuyu was sitting in Smiley's restaurant over a bowl of noodles high of spices, Smiley hiding his grin in front of him which almost made him look like he wasn’t grinning at all, after having told Chifuyu everything.
This was why Chifuyu had not wanted to ask.
“And that's the whole story.”
Chifuyu stared at Smiley, who seemed to wait for him to comment now, and lowered his chopsticks decisively.
What a pain.
“So, basically…” Chifuyu surmised. “you said something stupid.”
Smiley rose to his feet, furious grin on his face as he threatened.
“Say I'm stupid again and I'll bash your face in-”
“Sure,” Chifuyu could not care less, he pointed his pair of chopsticks at Smiley's face. “But you can’t deny you made a mistake. Should I call you insensitive instead?”
Smiley deflated quickly enough, sitting back down.
Chifuyu sighed again.
“Alright, here. Angry will surely be back soon, so you can talk with him clearly and calmly when he's back for the night.”
Because Chifuyu had been at Ryusei's, even if it was a very long time ago, and he sure as hell knew Ryusei did not have a guestroom either. Angry had to know sleeping on the ground was not a nice idea.
Although Chifuyu would not put it past him, if he were truly furious with Smiley.
No matter, the point was, Angry would be safe, and whether or not he was safe under his own roof would not be Chifuyu's business because Chifuyu would be gone and back to his own apartment by then.
“...Are you sure?”
“Why are you asking me?” Chifuyu snapped, not missing a beat. “Do I have Angry's Psychologist written on my forehead or something?”
“You solved Baji's and Ryusei's quarrel.”
“I really didn’t, who told you that?”
“That's what liars say.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, you too. Help me please?”
Chifuyu was done with this. But Smiley was looking at him, with his half opened eyes and his stupid grin and his furrowed eyebrows, something genuine hidden within, and Chifuyu was reminded of the last time he had seen Smiley and Angry fight.
Damn it. He was only kidding himself, was he not?
Just because he had not involved himself in their business for a decade did not mean he did not care. Far from it.
Another part of him remembered the late nights he and Angry had spent together in high school, when Takemichi was gone in the future again, and Angry had haggled him into making promises that still felt warm even now. Even though he was not the one who had lived through those memories, not really.
“You know what?” he said. “If he's not back by the weekend, I'll help you look for him. Is that okay with you?”
As far as Chifuyu remembered, Smiley had never looked up so fast.
“Deal!” he exclaimed fiercely.
“Sure,” Chifuyu tilted his head. “How much for the meal?”
“On the house for you. That was a test recipe, thanks for your participation.”
Oh. Figured.
“That's great. Well then, I better go before it starts raining.”
Angry, sleeping on Chifuyu's couch.
Smiley running in, looking like a drowned rat and looking for his brother, because he always knew to look for Chifuyu's or Hakkai's.
Chifuyu, whispering to a somnolent Souya:
“Come on, go make up now.”
“Smiley?”
“Yeah?”
Now, Chifuyu really was not about to go and play mediators. He was no peace maker. However...
Chifuyu attempted to smile.
“I hope you can reconcile with Angry quickly.”
He went home without fanfare.
Izana had never been anyone's favourite.
Turned out, he would not be Shinichiro's favourite either.
He wanted to cry. But at the same time, he had not even met Shinichiro yet.
He had not met Mikey, or the person that could have been his grandfather. And now he knew he was not even Emma's blood brother.
But Emma had cared for him. And he did not want her dead.
He wanted…
He wanted a family.
“Izana? What are we doing?”
Izana took Kakucho by hand, and surely this would work, right? He had remembered himself do it a hundred times in the future.
“We're climbing out of the orphanage.”
“What? Why?”
Izana smirked at Kakucho.
“We're running away!”
“What the-”
Now how to buy a plane ticket for Japan…
Chapter 46: T: Try to pretend
Summary:
Baji and Chifuyu chill the evening before Mikey comes make a menace of himself.
That's it, that's the chapter.
Notes:
I was sort of really anxious, because my writing style really changed a lot, and I was worried that because of it I wasn't writing the characters In Character anymore. Do tell me what you think of it PLEASE.
Chapter Text
“I'm home.”
Keisuke looked up to greet Chifuyu.
“Good to have you back. Why were you out so late?”
Chifuyu looked at him flatly.
“Why are you here again? No, don’t answer that. I was as Smiley's.”
“All day?”
“Do you really need me to tell you what I do with my days?”
Keisuke shrugged.
“I don’t know. You tell me. Anyways. You talked with Smiley? Why? I don’t remember you being great friends.”
Chifuyu let go of his bag, which Keisuke thought he should probably have deposited at home earlier before going off to wherever he had spent the last few hours while dragging it with him. He did not comment on it.
“We aren’t,” Chifuyu replied absentmindedly. “But Angry and I were good friends in the main timestream, so I talked a bit with Smiley sometimes.”
Keisuke blinked. Chifuyu was so casual about it he had almost missed it.
“So you remember the thing they call the main timeline?”
“Oh right. I didn’t tell you?”
“No you didn’t, asshole.”
Keisuke didn’t know what to think of it, to be honest. Thankfully, or unfortunately, Chifuyu didn’t give him much time to think about it.
“Well, now you know. By pure chance, did you see Angry today?”
“Huh? Yeah, Ryusei's housing him tonight. How did you- oh right, Smiley.”
So Smiley had asked Chifuyu for advice, or had at the very least asked Chifuyu if he'd seen Angry. That was plausible.
“I knew it,” Chifuyu huffed.
“Did you tell Smiley, if you knew?”
“Of course not. They'll solve it on their own, I'm sure.”
Keisuke raised his eyebrows.
“Are you now? ́Cause you haven’t seen the guy yet. He's having an existential crisis out there.”
That had the merit of drawing Chifuyu's attention as he sat down on the bed.
“Really?”
“Really,” Keisuke drawled. “And he decided I was the best person to seek advice from. Do I look like your free advice guy, Chifuyu?”
Chifuyu tilted his head.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“It was a joke, Chifuyu, I know I'm not.”
Keisuke let himself fall to the ground, arms crossed behind his head as stared up the ceiling.
“Still. I always thought Angry was pretty self assured. Guess I was wrong about that. You're closer to him than I, Chifuyu, whaddya think?”
He looked at Chifuyu, and then did a quiet double take. Chifuyu stared at him with eyes wide and empty, with something that Keisuke could almost mistake for horror swimming over his blank features. He didn’t look like he was breathing.
What the fuck.
He rolled back up, alarmed, and narrowed his eyes, reaching for his friend. What had set him off. What was it?
“Oi, Chifuyu? What the heck's wrong with you? Snap out of it.”
He made to grab him, but Chifuyu flinched away before he could, focused again and releasing a harsh breath.
“I- what, oh for fuck's sake…”
Keisuke drew back, as Chifuyu pinched his nose bridge, turning his head away and closing his eyes shut for a minute, but at least he was back to himself. Keisuke did not want to admit he was worried, but damn, that had been freaky.
And he just realised this was the first time he'd heard Chifuyu swear since… since he'd come back as a time traveller.
He kept quiet until Chifuyu looked at him again. Then, frustrated but willing to wait for answers, he frowned at Chifuyu meanly.
“It was nothing,” Chifuyu said after a long second of regaining his wits.
“Do I look gullible to you?” Keisuke could and would be mad if Chifuyu continued on that road.
“No, really,” Chifuyu assured him, though he didn’t sound like it. “I just- saw something. Nothing's actually wrong, I'm just tired and seeing things…”
He sounded like he believed in it. But Keisuke hadn’t seen Chifuyu so rattled since he remembered the future, withholding yesterday's freak out with the tape. Watching his friend compose himself slowly but surely, it became all the more obvious that he had matured a lot and that - contrarily to what Ryusei seemed to think, Keisuke thought with an angry pinch in his chest - his impassive behaviour was just a behaviour, not an actual reflection of Chifuyu's inner state.
It rattled Keisuke too. It made his mind spin with images, voices.
It made him think about, “I feel like I'm going insane.”
He swallowed back down the fear.
If it happened again, he'd confront Chifuyu.
“Did you work on the tape today?” he asked cautiously, more cautiously than people usually gave him credit for.
He almost winced at the growling quality of his voice. He didn’t want to sound angry, fuck it.
But Chifuyu always read him well. He shook his head, not looking like he wanted to appease Keisuke or anything.
“Not at all. I would have but I don’t think I can manipulate everything as I should with only one arm.”
“If you were less of a piece of shit you'd just ask someone to help you.”
“Yeah great idea, I'll just ask someone to help me put up the time travel recording thing on and put my life story on the table in front of them.”
“This is why you're a piece of shit.”
Chifuyu let out a cackle, and even if it was brief, it made Keisuke want to smile in relief.
He didn’t because he had a reputation to keep, damn it.
Jokes aside.
“You're okay with Mikey coming tomorrow?”
Chifuyu paused, then looked at him weirdly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Okay, now Chifuyu was outwardly lying to him.
“Just because I didn’t know about Mikey the last time doesn’t mean I'm an idiot,” he growled. “I looked at that fucking tape, in case you already forgot, I know Mikey has been… a lot,” he finished lamely, before rubbing his neck in yet another bout of frustration.
Why was talking so difficult!?
“Anyways,” he went on sharply, “you don’t even wanna talk with the guys, how am I supposed to know you'll be fine with Mikey?”
Alright, Keisuke had almost convinced himself into staying. Chifuyu opened his mouth, looking mildly annoyed, but then seemed to think better of it and shut up. Good.
But then he said,
“I was fine with Smiley, wasn’t I?”
And Keisuke replied.
“I can’t know that.”
Okay, why was Chifuyu frowning now? Was Keisuke saying something wrong again? He was just trying damnit!
He was just… he was just trying… to make sure his best friend was alright, for fuck's sake.
He deflated tiredly. Chifuyu's gaze upon him softened.
“You're worried.”
Keisuke threw him a glance.
“I'm not,” he said, without any conviction, like a liar.
Chifuyu didn’t comment on his weak retort. He blinked slowly, and then, seemed to soften even more, like he was doing it on purpose.
He almost felt pitied, but he knew Chifuyu wouldn’t pity him.
“I'm sorry you had to watch this.”
Chifuyu's voice was rough, but gentle in its own way.
This was all wrong, Keisuke thought. Then, he chuckled darkly.
They were both trying, it seemed. Just, maybe they were trying the wrong way.
“Don’t do that?”
“Do what?” Chifuyu blinked in confusion.
Don’t… Keisuke gave up on finding the words.
“You weren’t actually like that, in middle school,” he said, and the words sounded weird in tongue.
They were still in middle school, to Keisuke, there had not yet been an after middle school. And Chifuyu was still. So he rectified himself.
“You aren’t like that,” he said, testing the words, then. “Or are you?”
He smirked at the thought.
“Did you happen to grow soft or something? Old man.”
Chifuyu huffed, but there was understanding in his eyes.
“I'm not that old,” he grumbled with an eye roll. “And no, I'm not going to pretend to be the excited little boy that I was at that age. That sounds so exhausting.”
“You are exhausting,” Keisuke agreed, still smirking. “But what I mean is, seriously, don’t try to pretend.”
“You don’t know what you're saying.”
Keisuke really wanted to punch him. So he did, lightly of course. Didn’t want that arm to get worse.
“I know, idiot. Just be yourself. You know, the guy who's been sassing at Ryusei for the past two weeks? Well, except for the time you decided to fuck off on us. I haven’t forgotten that, asshole.”
Chifuyu seemed a bit nonplussed.
“Do you want me to sass you too or something?”
“Do you feel like you weren’t being a piece of shit tonight?”
“Baji-san, you're mean.”
“Don’t play the offended kid now! We both know you can be meaner.”
Chifuyu snickered.
“I guess.”
Keisuke nodded. That was better. Still.
“Should I stay while Mikey's here?”
Chifuyu shook his head.
“I'm not keen on that.”
“You're not what now?”
Chifuyu explained.
“It means I'd rather you weren’t here. And yes, I know, you were going to say you already knew. I believe you,” Keisuke wanted to hit him again. “I'll be fine, okay? For real. And if I'm not, I would rather you weren’t here to see me try to take a hit at him.”
Keisuke raised both eyebrows to his hairline and barked out a sharp laugh.
“You wouldn’t! He's too strong for you.”
“Well,” and there was that daring glint in his eyes, the one that made him look both collected and crazy, “I can at least try.”
This Chifuyu was different. Not the excitable kid from before, and not nearly as hopeful. He was a bit more philosophical, and calmer, and more openly reserved, if that made sense. He'd grown. But then, there was that glint, that Keisuke had never seen on him before.
And he found that he liked it.
Yeah. Keisuke liked this Chifuyu too.
If only Ryusei could see this.
Upon Chifuyu's insistence - and Keisuke's own mother reminding him that he had homework to do - he begrudgingly went back to his own apartment. Peke J wasn’t here tonight, as Keisuke knew for a fact he had found a great resting place in Chifuyu's lap. Chifuyu had been reading up on his manga when Keisuke had left, and although he wasn’t as expressive as before, the show of relaxation and the minute reactions to the most farfetched plot twists assured Keisuke that Chifuyu would be fine, at least for the night.
He was having fun. That was a plus in Keisuke's book.
“You treat him like he's convalescent, recently,” his mother pointed out to him, somewhat weirded out, and he had realised that… she was kinda right.
Oh gosh, Keisuke was turning into a mother hen. No way, he had to change that.
The moment Chifuyu got better, they would be sparring…
Or not. Keisuke couldn’t fully get those images out of his head.
Keisuke, however long in the future, had beaten Chifuyu to a literal inch of his life and hadn’t looked like he'd regretted it. And Keisuke hated himself for that.
Chifuyu had said he shouldn’t blame himself for anything that had happened after his death - wherever that was - but this, this guilt he felt at his own actions was justified.
He hadn’t done it yet. But Chifuyu, whichever timeline he was from, had already lived through it. And that was Keisuke's failure.
He remembered Kokonoi's words too.
Whatever Keisuke had been trying to do by getting into another gang… nearly killing and scarring, and traumatising the one person he could call a sibling was something that he should never have allowed.
It would never be right. And now it was etched in his memories a constant reminder of how far he could go. How far his own mistakes could lead him.
He fell asleep with those thoughts in mind. The memories haunted his dreams. When he woke up, he didn’t feel well rested.
He hated the future.
He didn’t even know why anything that would happen would be so. He just knew he needed to find a way to stop it.
“You're thinking stupid things again,” Chifuyu told him on their way to school.
Keisuke branched out of his ruminating, grunting at his friend.
“You're stupid.”
“Really smart reply, Baji-san. I've seen you with more bite.”
Keisuke looked away, grumbling.
Chifuyu calling him Baji-san always helped him cement into his mind that this was the same person, and it contributed to making him feel like he was still the older one between them. In a way, maybe that was right. Maybe, hopefully Chifuyu, despite his couple of personality changes, didn’t actually feel that he was older than twelve years old. Soon, thirteen.
The way Chifuyu's gaze dug into his side even when Keisuke wasn’t looking was still the same, if more persistent now. Like Chifuyu wasn’t really bothering with subtlety.
“You know,” Chifuyu let out, finally turning away to look ahead. “That frown you have when you start thinking like you have to do everything alone.”
Keisuke, too surprised to reply something smart - or relatively smart - just stared at Chifuyu for a while. If Chifuyu noticed, he did not comment on it.
Instead, Chifuyu added, impassive:
“I don’t like it when you do that.”
And then, he skipped ahead.
Had Keisuke… been doing that?
Keisuke caught up with his friend, his mind full of preoccupations.
Chifuyu could tell Baji was overthinking. It was written all over his face. There was this tinge of strain on his features that spoke of guilt as well. Chifuyu decided not to confront him on the latter. He would not be able to change Baji. Only Baji could work on himself if he truly wanted to, and Chifuyu would accept whatever he was, however frustrating it could be to deal with his nonsense.
At least Baji was still alive to work on his issues. To work on the same issues that had driven him to his own death.
The image flashed in front of Chifuyu's eyes. It was not as vivid and immersive as the previous evening, so he was quickly able to chase it away.
If he did not think about it, then he was doing well.
The day went by uneventfully, without Chifuyu ever catching a glimpse of Ryusei, even though he knew from Keisuke that the other boy had come to school this time. He was still being carefully avoided.
He wished he could fix it. But some part of him could not help but susurrate to him that it was for the better. That the sooner everyone realised he was dangerous to be around, the better.
He knew not to listen to that part of him. It didn’t always make it easier to ignore.
Chifuyu had a different schedule from Baji, and so it was easy enough to slip past his vigilance with only a message that he was fine and walking straight home. Baji clearly needed a break from him. More precisely, Baji needed a break from all the unsubtle worrying he was doing, even if he likely did not realise it.
It just happened that Chifuyu found Mikey on the way from school.
“Hi,” he said to the smiling leader.
“Hi,” Mikey grinned at him, hands in his pockets. “Feeling better?”
Chifuyu nodded cautiously.
“I suppose,” he said.
He focused on Mikey. On his eyes. However black and empty they seemed they were not actually hollow or full of rage. Chifuyu could perceive it. The warmth within helped to appease him, even though his body could and would bolt without his permission at any given time.
Baji had been right, the night before, about Chifuyu's reaction to Mikey. But Chifuyu had not been about to admit that.
He needed to go past it. And so he would. He would.
Mikey looked him over and nodded, satisfied.
“You look less pale than last time. That's good. You remember last we talked? Two days ago, was it? Three?”
“I do,” Chifuyu replied politely. “I was… I don’t remember a lot from it,” he admitted. “Excuse me in advance.”
Mikey glanced sharply once, a subtle shift, but made no sign that he was surprised by Chifuyu's admittance. Mikey had always been more perceptive than many gave him credit for.
And also, Chifuyu had no idea what sort of bullshit he might have spewn on the moment that might have alerted Mikey that something was wrong.
Chifuyu had been a walking bomb, back then. His thoughts were all over the place, and fighting a crowd of grown armed men right before Mikey appeared out of nowhere, it had thrown him into a waking nightmare that should not exist anymore, and he had scrambled to keep himself together, not to lose control.
Or else who knew what he would have done with himself. What he would have said.
Whatever he actually had said could not be as bad as what had run through his mind at the time.
“That's fine. You remember me at least?” Mikey kid.
Chifuyu blinked at him, unimpressed.
“We talk every few meetings,” he reminded Toman's leader.
Mikey snickered.
“Baji said the same thing,” he told Chifuyu, “well, he was more rude about it…”
Or more truthful about it, Chifuyu speculated. The truth was, Chifuyu had tried to keep his distance with anyone not from the first division for a while - before Ryusei had dragged him to the apparently mandatory vice alliance's weekly reunions when he learned Chifuyu had no idea what that was because it was a crime that he had already missed three - and whenever Mikey came to talk to Chifuyu, Chifuyu used to just keep quiet and nod because he had no idea how to manage this unknown person with unknown tells and a very, very fast and loud behaviour. So Mikey used to literally talk at Chifuyu. That had always made Baji laugh.
At the time at least. Chifuyu liked to think they had become friends later on.
And then their acquaintanceship had turned into something wholly other. And then, again, and again. Until it was so distorted that Chifuyu did not know how to even think about it anymore.
He did not want to.
“Let’s go grab something to eat, okay? You're free, right?”
“I have to be home by eight at latest,” he recited dutifully like the good son he was.
“Great! We have more than enough time to eat and have a chat. Let’s go already! We're losing daylight!”
Mikey skipped in the opposite direction, looking for an infinitesimal instant as though he was going to grab Chifuyu's hand before his arm changed trajectory and waved at Chifuyu to follow instead.
No matter how little Chifuyu felt he could trust him, the thoughtfulness warmed his chest. He followed his president out to town.
Shinichiro wanted to apologise.
He wanted to apologise to Izana, whom he had barely gotten the chance to know. He wanted to apologise to Wakasa and Takeomi and to all the friends he had made along the way.
He wanted to apologise to Sanzu, who had unfairly suffered because of Shinichiro's actions.
He wanted to apologise to Emma, for not having been able to see her grow, to Grandpa for not helping him more and being there to support him.
He wanted to apologise to Hanagaki Takemichi, for giving him a burden that was not his to carry, all because Shinichiro had caved under a moment of weakness. And to thank him, too, for everything.
He wanted, most of all, to apologise to Mikey.
To Baji and Kazutora he had but a thought. They would not have to kill him this time, he mused, the idea ever so slightly relieving him of a dark weight in his heart.
He wanted to apologise for all that he had done, for all he had not done, for all that his actions had triggered, all the pain, the suffering, the darkness and bloodshed.
He wanted to apologise once more because despite everything, he could not bring himself to regret any of it.
“I'm sorry, Mikey, for not being able to stay by your side once more.
Your big brother's a coward.”
The best solution remained death.
And he would do so himself.
If only he knew even that failed.
Chapter 47: I: This is blackmail material at its finest
Summary:
Mikey is worried for Chifuyu. Thankfully he offers good advice.
Smiley also thinks Chifuyu can offer good advice.
Notes:
last one for now. You'll hear from me in three days!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I'm surprised Baji's not with you right now,” Mikey commented in between two mouthfuls.
Chifuyu swallowed his own rice before explaining.
“I told him I didn’t want him there.”
“Oh, rude. I didn’t remember you being so crude.”
“Sorry. I told him I'd be fine without him.”
Mikey waved a hand at him.
“Nah, it’s fine. I wasn’t reproaching anything to you. It’s just that if I hadn’t seen you fight, I'd out there doubting that you even have a backbone.”
Alright, that was rude. To any and all timelines’ Chifuyu's in existence. Chifuyu huffed and turned away. Mikey seemed to realised he had vexed Chifuyu somehow in the next minute of quiet, because he laughed.
“Don’t take it like that. Being unassuming isn’t all that bad. Just look at Sanzu.”
“I want nothing to do with Sanzu,” Chifuyu muttered immediately between his teeth.
“He's not that bad.”
He's addicted to drugs. He tried to run us all over with a train. It was his weapon that killed my friend.
He could have stopped you.
Chifuyu said nothing.
“I heard you've been helping Baji with his schoolwork, recently,” Mikey changed subject seamlessly, digging into his meal next to him. “Has he been doing well.”
Chifuyu paused only briefly as he scanned the possible outcomes of the conversation.
“He has. He still needs help to write long paragraphs often, but in my humble opinion, he's been getting better at it.”
Mikey hummed.
“That's great. And you've been reviewing his letters to Kazutora too.”
Chifuyu stopped moving altogether, his eyes fixed on his plate.
“I knew that he was talking to Kazutora.” he remembered Mikey confiding in him in one timeline, in a lonely place.
But he had never expected Mikey to talk about it. His only experiences with Mikey about Kazutora prior to Mikey's acceptance of Kazutora after Bloody Halloween were… not positive. He could only rapidly go through his options.
He decided to keep quiet. He did not want to get this wrong.
Mikey, to Chifuyu, was a bomb he did not know how to defuse, nor could he see the countdown.
“Relax,” Mikey said quietly. “You act like I'm going to hurt you.”
Mikey never hurt Chifuyu. Chifuyu was not important enough to be hurt. It had always been Baji and Kazutora. And Takemichi.
Chifuyu had always been safe from Mikey. Perhaps because he reminded Mikey of all three by association.
Mikey went on.
“I don’t plan on doing anything about it. I'm just glad you're here for him. You really care about him, don’t you?”
Focus. They were talking about Baji.
“He's important to me,” Chifuyu declared, briefly crossing Mikey's eyes.
“I can see that,” Mikey sounded gentle and soft a great number of times in his acquaintanceship with Chifuyu, like Chifuyu, much like Takemichi, was something of a junior to him.
It had always been hard to reconcile with the bloodthirsty, cold person Chifuyu had been able to speak with about a dozen times before everything went to hell.
He hated that he could not get a grip and stop thinking about it once and for all.
“Baji also cares a lot about you.”
“I know.”
“He told me he knew about your little issue. Does he see you differently now?”
Chifuyu looked up again.
“Is it something I said last time?” he questioned quietly.
Mikey nodded patiently.
It felt like a rarity, seeing him like this, so casual without over exaggerating his childish traits. But this person was the reason why Mikey made for a great leader. He cared, and he listened.
Seeing him so made something strange twist within Chifuyu, and all he wanted to do was to tear it apart so that it would not tug at him anymore. The past was gone. The future too, now. And Chifuyu was left with this present to adapt to. And he would adapt to it, no matter how ill fitting it felt, sitting next to this Mikey and being the target of his care.
“He does… see me differently,” he said cautiously.
Admitting it to himself.
“He treats me differently too. He tries not to show it. But… he cares just the same.”
Mikey tilted his head with a sharp, knowing smile.
“Does that surprise you?”
“It shouldn’t,” Chifuyu answered truthfully.
It never changed anything for Baji. Baji would always care for him just the same.
Still, seeing how it had affected Baji to learn the truth about Chifuyu… he wished Baji would never learn about the future Chifuyu came from.
“Ryusei knows too,” he added, changing topics. “He hasn’t talked to me since. So I was right to be afraid in the end.”
This fear was something he had admitted to no one but Mikey. Because, as much as he could not trust Mikey knowing the curse that befell him, he still knew logically that Mikey would never betray his confidences.
Chifuyu, in the end, trusted the person that Mikey was, he noticed belatedly.
By now, Chifuyu knew Mikey very well.
Why did you leave?
“Oh,” Mikey frowned. “He hasn’t been talking to you then.”
A fair guess. Chifuyu nodded, playing with his food absentmindedly.
“Baji's fighting with him now,” he said, then lowering his head. “I didn’t want that.”
Mikey simply stared at him pensively for a few minutes. Chifuyu let him observe him to his heart's content. There was something in Mikey's unreadable features, like he was preparing something. Mikey then turned away.
“I get it. It’s never pleasant when your friends fight because of you.”
Chifuyu acquiesced warily. As expected, Mikey resumed.
“You know… after the incident - I'm sure Baji told you about that - Keisuke and I didn’t talk for a while. It took him until April to actually come find me on his own again. I think he was feeling guilty.”
For a second, Chifuyu's mind almost blanked out because what.
They could not possibly be talking about that.
Why would Mikey confide in Chifuyu of all people?
All Chifuyu could think of were Mikey's dead furious eyes as he threatened Takemichi to find Baji or else he would kill him. The very real threat that Mikey posed to both Baji and Kazutora, because they had betrayed him.
Again.
He breathed in, like a gasp, and hoped Mikey did not notice.
If Mikey noticed, he said nothing about it.
“I can’t relate, but I think I understand how Baji feels,” Mikey admitted like a secret, sadness in his eyes. “He thinks it’s his fault for not stopping Kazutora… and he's right too, about that. I blame him. But it was also Kazutora's fault, and… it was an accident. I know that. Baji knows that. But Baji still… he still feels guilty, because he thinks it’s because of him that Kazutora hates me now, and that I'm at odds with Kazutora. It’s not pleasant for anyone, this situation…”
Mikey let out a short chuckle. It was very brittle, and bitter. Chifuyu did not say a single word.
“But it’s not Baji's fault that Kazutora hates me and it’s not his fault that I can’t… that I don’t want Kazutora to be here. That's our own opinions. Baji and Ryusei, I think they're also fighting over their own opinions. So you shouldn’t feel guilty about their argument. They'll solve it eventually.”
Mikey addressed him with what was supposedly a reassuring smile. But Mikey was unreadable, and that, to Chifuyu, had become a fact of life. Mikey was very much the sole entity in the world that Chifuyu could not read, and… it scared him sometimes.
Once upon a time Chifuyu could read Mikey perfectly. But then it all changed, and now he was scared all the time.
“You think you and Kazutora are going to solve this… this argument, too?” he could not help but ask, despite his fears.
Because, he had to ask.
“I don’t know,” Mikey replied. “I just… I want to understand. I want Kazutora to explain to me what's happening in his mind. Because I don’t understand at all, and it leaves me feeling helpless. Why did he do it? Why does he refuse my help? Why… am I the enemy in his eyes? Even though I was willing to forgive him. I want to know.”
A pause.
“What Ryusei needs is likely for you to come to him and tell him your own view of things. Maybe then… he'll understand.”
Chifuyu swallowed.
“What if he's ill in the head? Kazutora, I mean,” he lost his voice for a moment, just for an instant, before he powered through. “What if he doesn’t even know himself, and he lashes out at you?”
The silence that followed was terrifying to Chifuyu.
Chifuyu himself would not be able to explain what it was that terrified him so. Perhaps it was the unpredictability.
There was something in Mikey that could break at any moment, at any word, and even when he knew he was safe… he was scared. Something primal, instinctive within him, knew to be scared.
Like a cat around a snake. Even if it had never seen one before.
Mikey put his chopsticks down.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I'll cross that bridge when I get there. But Ryusei's a perfectly reasonable guy, Chifuyu, and you are too. I'm sure it’ll be alright.”
Chifuyu smirked with an admittedly wary huff.
“What if I'm ill in the head?”
“Then take your time, Chifuyu. Take your time.”
It sounded so genuine. It looked, so genuine.
Chifuyu wished he could trust it.
It was starting to be late. He looked away. He should go home soon.
His phone rang, suddenly. Chifuyu was certain it was Baji, even though he had already texted him about Mikey showing up early and going for a meal. But Chifuyu knew not to rely on impressions and guesses, checking the number out of habit. Raising an eyebrow, he answered the call.
“What is it, S-”
“Angry's not home!”
Chifuyu let his eyebrow tick.
“Alright, and? Just ask around. He's safe.”
“What if something happened to him- huh. Yeah, I did that.”
Chifuyu sighed tiredly, sending an apologetic wave of the hand to Mikey who looked on, slightly curious.
“Sure you did. I said I'd be helping you if he wasn’t back at yours by the weekend's time. Why are you calling me now? It’s still Friday."
“Classes are over, it’s clearly the weekend!”
“Smlley, I'm not going to get myself out in the cold tonight to look for Angry. Just send him a t- an e-mail saying you're worried and you want to know if he's sleeping under a roof or something. He's not insensitive enough not to answer you at least.”
Smiley didn’t say anything for a while. Hopefully because he was checking in on Angry. But a minute later, Smiley replied.
“I can’t do that.”
“You-!”
Seriously? Chifuyu might have time leaped back to the time he was thirteen but did that mean he had to become a babysitter?
“Why?!”
“Angry doesn’t want to talk to me right now, me being nice will just creep him out.”
“Excuses! None of this would be a problem if you apologised.”
“No can do.”
“Stubborn asshole. Just hang off a minute, I'll be right back.”
Chifuyu e-mailed everyone he could think of, but mostly Ryusei, hoping at least the boy would answer for this.
He got a reply quickly enough, impersonal but efficient.
From: Satou Ryusei
Yeah, he's with me.
Under Mikey's fascinated gaze, Chifuyu called Smiley right back.
“Angry's safe and sound, now go to sleep.”
“Where is he!?”
“You're not thinking about barging in to whoever's housing him right now!? That's plain stupid! What if he bolts right out when you come in looking like children's worst nightmare? Because he sure as hell won’t be going back to yours if he's still mad. You want him safe or not?”
Somehow that got Smiley to settle down.
“When I get my hand on you, I'll kill you.”
Or not. But at this point who cared.
“We'll go looking for him tomorrow,” Chifuyu repeated. “For now leave me alone. And prepare your apology!”
He hung off again before Smiley could retort anything.
Mikey watched him with a smile on. No, not the gentle smile. The inquisitive one.
The one that spelled trouble.
“What happened? Tell me everything.”
Mikey said, like a gossiper.
Chifuyu found himself explaining the situation to Mikey, who grinned like he was Smiley himself.
“Count me in! This is blackmail material at its finest. Smiley fumbling for his bro's forgiveness. You don’t know how long I could hold it over his head.”
What had Chifuyu gotten into now?
He shook his head, exasperated.
“Whatever. I'm leaving.”
“I'll accompany you back, just let me pay the bill.”
“Actually I'll do that.”
After figuring out who'd pay for both meals - Mikey did not complain much about being spoiled behind Draken's back - they both went back to Chifuyu's apartment complex. In the distance, Chifuyu could see Baji waiting for him by the stairs.
“That reminds me,” Mikey said as they made to part. “Next week, my school's doing an early Christmas festival. What do you think about joining me then?”
Chifuyu frowned.
“Sure but… why are you trying to spend so much time with me.”
There, the gentle smile was back again. Chifuyu tensed minutely when a hand found his head.
“Baji's worried,” Mikey said. “And I'm worried too. You're precious to him, is this really such a surprise that I'd want to get to know you too?”
Baji was still alive. Of course it was a surprise. But Chifuyu said nothing.
Eventually, Mikey's hand withdrew.
“Alright. See you tomorrow, then! The big bad bear over there won’t last much longer, he has no patience.”
Chifuyu really wanted to say something, but he held back. Yet, Mikey must have been able to read it on his face as Chifuyu stared wordlessly at him, because he raised his hands in surrender.
“Alright! Alright. You won’t see me tomorrow. I'll leave the twins alone.”
Chifuyu knew this to mean Mikey would still be there, collecting blackmail - and checking over his guys. But he let it go.
“See you next week, then,” he agreed, walking to his home with a wave of the hand.
“Wait! Chifuyu.”
Chifuyu turned. Mikey smiled.
“I'm glad you're fine now.”
There was a glint of concern in the blackness of his gaze.
“But take care. You still look haunted.”
…Yeah. Mikey had always been too perceptive.
And Mikey had left, still, despite seeing everything.
Chifuyu wished he could hate him.
“Thanks. Take care, too.”
Mikey left with one last nod.
Chifuyu returned to Baji, and they went back home. He recounted his day, and did not say a word about Mikey.
Baji did not pry.
The next day, Smiley found him early.
“Come on!” He said, grinning yet twitching in his place. “Let’s go already. Angry won’t find himself.”
Why Smiley thought Chifuyu could solve all his problems, Chifuyu had no idea.
But at this point, he was already down this mess to the neck, so he might as well.
“Sure. Just let me get dressed, for hell's sake.”
“Quick!”
“Everyone's ready to go?”
Angry, Smiley, and a group of four other guys all acquiesced to themselves, hopped onto their motorbikes with their helmets on and with additional protections, just to be safe. They were reasonably just going around, but who knew what could happen, right?
Ryusei was in a good mood. He'd been spending the last two days with good company, could make fun of Baji every day every time he went to train Angry and answer his existential questions, and now he was going around town with the guys of the first division and Angry. With all this positive animation, he hadn’t even had the time to think about Chifuyu!
This was a lie, of course.
“We're not missing anyone?”
“Nope! Let’s go already!”
Ryusei chuckled
“Sure.”
He turned on the motorcycle, and the engine roared. In fact, all their bikes did. Better leave before any neighbour complains.
Off they went. Hopefully this ride would help him empty his head for a while. He didn’t want to have an accident because of the things that'd been swimming in his mind rentfree - sorry, they gave him nightmares in exchange actually - since four days ago. Fuck that.
“I'll race you to the bridge!”
“Fuck you, Ryusei!”
“They're not here!”
“I know, I saw.”
“Couldn’t you be a little more serious? My bro's your friend!”
You're the one who can’t look serious with that wild grin on your face.
“Having fun, Mikey?”
Mikey branched out of his thoughts to grin at Draken, who looked just like Chifuyu at this moment. Done with life.
“Very much!” he whisper-yelled at his friend.
They were currently hiding behind a wall, spying on Chifuyu and Smiley as they relentlessly searched for Angry - at least Smiley was relentlessly searching, Chifuyu was clearly just tagging along. Even with the sunglasses and hat Mikey had given Draken, the man was still clearly completely defeated. If anything the shades only made him look more like an exhausted vampire when he pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh.
“What are we even doing here, remind me…”
“Stop growling already. It’s going to be fun!”
“Hell help me, clearly heaven can’t do shit for me right now…”
Yes, this was going to be fun.
Mikey did not tell Draken about Chifuyu, about Smiley and Angry, or about Ryusei. Whatever Draken would understand, he would do so on his own. Of course Mikey was here to have fun, but that was not the only reason he was there.
“I don’t want to die.”
They were all his, and he needed to make sure they would all be alright. Even if Chifuyu seemed more stable now, Mikey could still see the way he glanced at all the exits in any place he entered, scanned the people there and the shadows like they would attack him, and wondered whether the issue he had mentioned before was of a different nature from what Mikey had first expected.
But Mikey was not here to pry.
Mikey was simply here to make sure they would all be safe and sound by the end of the day.
Simple enough. Right?
Notes:
Alternate title: Mikey Can Be Nice when he Wants to Be
Chapter 48: L: If I never change
Summary:
Smiley gets advice. Angry gets advice.
Somehow, Ryusei gets advice.
And then they fight.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Draken had no idea what he was doing here.
Here being, in the middle of Shibuya during the weekend, hiding behind walls and stores and fucking bushes, spying on the first division's vice captain and the fourth division's captain.
Do not get him wrong. Smiley was weird, but Draken had nothing against the guy. He gave Draken a run for his money during iron arm duels. And while the guy had a nonsensical streak that could legitimately compete with Mikey's, it was thankfully none of Draken's business. Angry could take care of that on his own.
Except Angry seemed to be absent for some reason. Draken did not know why, but he wasn’t sure he liked that. Because apparently that meant his president dragged him from his home to go make sure Smiley wouldn’t kill anyone in the meantime.
That, or take pictures while Smiley killed people. Draken wasn’t sure.
Draken also didn’t have much to say about Chifuyu. Chifuyu was a nice guy, mostly quiet but smart and sassy where it mattered, and most importantly easy to get along. Strong moral values, a solid stance, and in rare moments, a crazy streak. But at least Baji and him mutually kept each other in check - that or they urged each other on until they were both at their worst, but thankfully that was always far from Draken.
Right now Chifuyu appeared calm, so Draken was hopeful that he would hold Smiley's reins a bit. So the question remained, why pray tell, are we following them!?
Sometimes Draken swore that if he never met Mikey his life would be so much better.
He never meant it.
“I get why you're here, Mikey,” he sighed, just as Mikey shushed him again. “But I don’t know what I'm doing here.”
“It’s easy!” Mikey nonchalantly replied. “Smiley's Angry-less, right?”
“He kinda looks angry right now.”
“You know what I mean. So he's Angry-less. So clearly Chifuyu's babysitting him, right?”
Draken had gotten that so far.
“And You're here…” he left it up to Mikey to finish, and when Mikey didn’t he raised an eyebrow. “To get blackmail?”
“That too,” Mikey agreed easily. “But look. If Chifuyu's keeping track of Smiley, then I’m keeping track of Chifuyu. And you're keeping track of me for gramps.”
“I hate that you're self aware and you still do it.”
“I got to keep you on your toes. Anyways focus. They're talking!”
Right, protection, sure. Mikey was just being a gossipmonger right now. But oh well, they were already out there, right? And this day seemed to be a rare sunny one. Might as well let him have his fun.
“What are you even going to do when you find him, if you're not going to apologise?”
Oh, so Angry was mad at Smiley. That made sense. Why else would Angry leave Smiley's side, right?
“Why you telling me to apologise? I didn’t even say anything false!”
Chifuyu hummed.
“Even though you told him he was useless?”
“He's not useless!” Smiley defended. “He's just weaker than me.”
“Uh huh.”
“Why'd you sound like that, asshole?!”
Chifuyu, bless him, did not comment at all on Smiley's insults. The best way to roll into Smiley's vicious cycle of deaf yelling was to respond to his provocations.
“I'm just saying,” he spoke calmly, Draken had to strain his ear to hear what he was saying from so far away. “If Angry wanted to be stronger, isn’t it because he wanted to help you out?”
“I don’t need helping out.”
“I don’t know, Smiley. His argument for superior school made a lot of sense actually.”
“Angry's not going to go to superior school! Fuck off already.”
“But he wants to.”
“He doesn’t.”
“He told you he wanted to go.”
Smiley looked half a second away from biting Chifuyu's head off.
“Yeah but he doesn’t actually want to go,” he retorted sharply. “Must be seasonal depression messing with his head. Besides, even if he wanted to I wouldn’t let him.”
Chifuyu tilted his head.
“Why not?”
Smiley hissed behind his toothy grin.
“Aren’t you asking a lot of questions today? Because he's weak and he's already failing his classes! I'm not good at school either, how am I supposed to help him with that? Other than that, it’s costly. And thirdly, I already told you. He's weak! And I won’t be there to protect him!”
“Smiley, do you hear yourself?”
Smiley shut up. Even Draken wanted to whistle at how much of that reasoning was spectacularly failing.
Chifuyu glanced once at Smiley, and once in Mikey's and Draken's general direction with a narrowed half-glare. Had he noticed them?
“Does it sound so incredible to you that maybe Angry wishes you'd trust him a bit more?”
“I know, okay? And I trust him. I don’t need him to prove himself to me.”
“Have you told him that?”
Smiley looked away with a mean huff that Draken could see. But otherwise said nothing. Chifuyu probed him, staring insistently as he did so.
“Have you shown him that you trusted him?”
Draken whistled for real this time, whispering to Mikey.
“Hadn’t realised Chifuyu was so smart with words.”
“Maybe that's because you're too stupid to keep up with him.”
“More like we're both smart enough not to get into messes like these, and we don’t need people to tell us things like that.”
“Says the guy who gets mad at me every two weeks.”
“Excuse you, you're the little shit who goes and-”
“Sh!”
Chifuyu looked back at them, again, for some reason. Maybe Draken was being too loud. But who could blame him, Mikey was next to him. That infuriating pipsqueak.
Then Chifuyu looked somewhere on his right, like he'd missed them, but Draken didn’t believe it. He followed the boy's brief glance and almost did a double take.
“Am I seeing things or is this Baji?”
Could it be a coincidence that Baji was just hanging out casually, alone in the area where his vice was taking a walk, after Baji had been so freaked out about said vice for a while now?
Of course not.
“Let’s go say hi,” Mikey suggested.
“Don’t. He thinks he's slick, let him be happy for a while.”
“You're no fun.”
“I'm not trying to tell you what you should do,” Chifuyu said not unkindly, and they both focused again, following the two. “But you have to know that sometimes you're hurting him. Do you even know why he wants to continue his studies after high school?”
Smiley grumbled.
“He wants to have an economic degree to help with the restaurant's business. But we're half-managing it already! There's no need for him to trouble himself with things like that. He'll just be losing time.”
Smiley opened his mouth again to continue, but from Draken's new angle he could only see the elder twin rub his tuft of orange hair with great frustration.
“I used to say I'd drop out of school because I didn’t need school and I wasn’t good at it anyways. And I haven’t changed my mind. I can hit anyone who thinks I'm not qualified enough for running my damn restaurant, I don’t need anything but my bro by my side to take care of the family business. I just don’t understand why he wants to keep at it now! I'm not lying! He's weak, so he should stay with me! He's emotional. What if others make him cry again? But he goes and says that since he can’t actually help me in streetfight he should learn more about how to do things legally and professionally. I get he wants to cover for me where I'm supposedly lacking but I don’t need it!”
“What if he does?”
“Then he fucking doesn’t need to go to a damn university to be useful! He's a better cook than me, you know? Just because he'll never fight as strong as me doesn’t mean I'm better than him everywhere. He's smarter than me, and calmer, I'll admit it. But university shouldn’t be the answer he's looking for here.”
Chifuyu watched on and smiled.
“Why don’t you tell him that? Without pointing out all his weaknesses this time, preferrably.”
“Hmf… I guess you're right.”
“Of course I am. You know, you're as bad as Baji when it comes to words.”
“I don’t permit you! I'm better than this guy at least!”
Baji guffawed from where he hid behind a decorative pine just across the street, the idiot, but he stopped himself from barging in and demanding apologies from Smiley. Draken saw him fight against his nature and he could give him that: he had been working on his self control.
“If you say so. Ah.”
“What is it?”
“I remember Baji-san told me something about today. Ryusei and a few other guys went around on their bikes and he was asked if he wanted to join. Maybe Angry's riding with them.”
A loud yell.
“Couldn’t you have told me before!?”
Draken snickered.
Chifuyu, too, was a piece of shit when he wanted to be.
A smart piece of shit.
“Relax,” Chifuyu said, not in the least bothered by Smiley's attempts to chokehold him. “I know where they go after a ride. It’s actually a park not far from here. Come on, I'll lead you there. We have some time, let’s strall.”
“Tsk. Only because you've helped me just now.”
Mikey nodded.
“They're doing well,” he whispered appreciatively.
“What?” Draken raised an eyebrow at him, though he doubted Mikey could see it behind the shades. “Did you doubt them?”
“Not really.”
Mikey did not elaborate. Instead, at his demand, they went to say hi to Baji.
Who was not being any more discreet than earlier.
“What are you both doing here?! You're going to bust me!”
“So you're not even hiding the fact you're spying on them!” Mikey tutted just as Draken shrugged.
“Sorry to break it to you, man, but we've been busted since the very beginning.”
“What's important is that Smiley's none the wiser,” Baji hissed back. “And that guy has a keen nose. Can’t hide anything from him. Now that he's not focused on his stupid sibling problem anymore, he'll find us in seconds if we don’t keep our distance and our voices down. So shut the fuck up Mikey.”
“Why am I the only one you're scolding! Ken-chin, defend me!”
“You deserve it.”
“Both of you are the most terrible friends out there.”
Draken shook his head. Strangely enough, Baji only spent a second or two looking grumpy before his eye was drawn towards the moving pair a bit further away still. Draken frowned.
“I didn’t expect you to be that worried,” he pointed out to his friend. “Mikey said you said the business was solved.”
Baji's face soured suddenly.
“Well. It’s. That's not what got me out there, you're right,” he skipped around the topic awkwardly, but Draken let him.
If he didn’t want to talk about it, fine. Mikey would just pester him until he talked another day. Or at least, that was Draken's hope. Mikey and Baji were talking again a few months back, and this whole debacle had gotten them acting like they used to, so he really did hope Mikey would continue reaching out.
“Something new happened?”
“Not really. The old shit. You remember Chiba's gang? They've been lurking around these parts. I'm not here to spy on Chifuyu and Smiley, I'm just here to make sure they don’t end up two against twenty.”
From the way his face scrunched at the end, Draken thought that he might be holding something back. He glanced at Mikey, but Mikey shrugged, an enigmatic smile on his lips.
“Well. I'm not going to put it past Smiley to get rid of twenty guys on his own.”
Baji seemed surprised at the thought, before he agreed.
“Yeah… Yeah, I guess.”
Weird. Okay. Maybe he was distracted. That might be explained by how far Chifuyu and Smiley had gotten already.
“Come on, you two. If you're following, then let’s catch up.”
“Yeah~”
“I'm sure that's not what Smiley meant to say.”
Angry mumbled in his can.
“Maybe not, but it’s clearly what he thinks.”
Ryusei tilted his head thoughtfully. That was hard to imagine, coming from Smiley to Angry, but then again how much did he know about Smiley compared to the guy's twin?
The ride had been pleasant. No one had actually raced him all the way through. Chuu ending up reining them all in when they reached dangerous thresholds. The guys from the first division had stayed for a while, but they'd all gone have lunch now. Only Ryusei and Angry remained. It wasn’t like they had anywhere else to be.
“I get why you want to go,” Ryusei conceded. “And you're right it’s not because you get bad grades like Baji or because you have trouble getting along with people or dealing with them on your own that you should give up on your projects. But is undergoing superior studies really what you want to do in the future?”
Angry mulled over the words, keeping quiet. If he didn’t know Angry, Ryusei would feel as though he were getting nowhere right now.
“I don’t want to hide in his shadow for the rest of my life,” Angry let out, an almost timid admittance.
“Did you tell him that?’
“I did. He just doesn’t understand.”
“Makes sense. You've always existed as a duo, never one without the other. Maybe he's afraid of you leaving his side too. Isn’t he the older twin?”
“He is. But he's not like that…” the blue-haired boy denied. “He's not protective or anything. He just doesn’t like change. But if I never change, how am I supposed to become my own person?"
The words rang a tiny bell somewhere in Ryusei's chest, and his heart clenched.
He ignored it.
“So you want to change,” he surmised, taking a sip of his own drink. “What do you want out of that change? More strength? More adaptability? Or more respect?”
A glint appeared, flickering in Angry's soft eyes.
“Is it Smiley's respect that you want? Or everyone else's?” Ryusei continued to probe gently.
Angry kept silent. In the end, it mattered not.
“Whatever it is you're looking for, just explain how you feel to Smiley, in detail. The most important is that you're currently feeling inadequate, and that you want it to change. If you express these feelings to Smiley… who knows. He might not understand why, but he'll listen.”
This should be the end of that, Ryusei thought. It didn’t bother Ryusei to haunt Baji until Baji accepted to give Angry sparring lessons day after day, even though it likely did bother Baji. But Ryusei would rather hit at the core of the problem.
Angry spoke up again.
“I know I can’t be his equal. But it’s my dream that one day I become someone he can be proud of.”
Ryusei smiled.
“He's already proud of you, Angry. Just ask him.”
“Maybe,” Angry responded, lacking conviction. “But will he be proud of me no matter who I become in the future? If he can’t respect me as an equal or be proud of me because I'm worthy now, then… won’t he let me at least try to become someone he can respect in the future?”
Ryusei was temporarily struck speechless.
“I'm sorry,” the dream he had last night replayed in front of his mind. “That I can’t die as someone you would be proud of. I have done so many horrid things in my lifespan that perhaps this end is simply what I deserve.”
“But if you can find kindness, in even the smallest corner of your heart, to forgive me for everything I've become, then…”
“I hope you will remember the child I used to be fondly, because his heart was still mine in the end. And it yearned for your friendship, even after destroying it with silence.”
Why did these words haunt him so?
He opened his mouth, and for but an instant more, the words failed to come. Then, breath came to Ryusei again, and he held it carefully.
“Maybe it’s your role to reassure him,” he said, cautiously trying the words. “Let him know that no matter who you become, you'll still be his beloved little brother. Twenty years from now, you'll still be Angry. If it doesn’t matter one way or the other, then instead of trying to keep upholding other people's ideas of who you should be and what you should do… then you should ask yourself what it is you want to be.”
And you. Did you… get to become who you wanted to be?
Of course not.
Now, I can’t imagine a world where Baji is dead and you would live on happily still.
“Isn’t it something he should already know?” Angry complained.
Ryusei suffocated.
“Smiley's not good with words,” he reminded.
The opposite of me.
“How about you try and listen a bit closer, next time you talk?”
He realised that he hated this. Hated the fragility of this moment, the delicate what-if's that it uncovered in its quiet, under the sunrays. Something present, just soft enough not to be aggressive, oppressive. Just kind, unobtrusive. But here.
And he hated it. Because he knew what he should be doing.
Who had allowed Ryusei to give advice? He chuckled to himself.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. It’s just… very ironic.”
Angry looked on curiously but did not pry. Ryusei liked Angry for that reason.
Chifuyu had sent him a text about two hours prior. If he trusted it, then Smiley should be there soon.
Just a couple minutes more, surely.
That was when trouble arose.
“Angry.”
“Yeah. I know.”
Ryusei smirked tightly.
“Feel up for a punch them all kinda game?”
A huff.
“Always.”
The issue was, this was probably going to be a hard fight. Just two again thirty something, easy right?
Ryusei grimaced internally. He hadn’t planned to go down today, so two against thirty something would have to do.
He didn’t recognise them, but he'd teach them what it meant to look for a fight in Toman's territory.
“We're surrounded. Still up for it?”
Angry crushed his can.
“What are we waiting for? An invitation?”
Guess they were doing it.
Notes:
There hasn't been any action in there since before tape viewing, damn. How about some ass kicking? :))
Chapter 49: L: Prove you'll stay too
Summary:
Everyone is fighting.
Maybe it's time to stop.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The moment they arrived near the park, all casual conversation stopped. Smiley grew more nervous and mad for it the closer they got to the green openings. The long pathway to it only made him feel more antsy, he had half the mind to punch a light.
However, quickly enough, and completely promptlessly, Chifuyu put his hand on Smiley's arm, the grasp distinctly warning him to stay still.
“Wait,” the word came, focused.
“What’s- oh.”
Yeah, Smiley could hear it now. He shook Chifuyu's hand off of him, eyes narrowed. Who was bold enough to try and ambush Toman upper echelon members on their own turf?
Not only that, but these few assholes were stopping Smiley from reaching his destination - Souya, hopefully - and he would be all too glad to vent his frustrations on them if they kept at it for more than a minute.
“Don’t rush in.”
“I'll rush in if I want to.”
“Wait until they show themselves first, okay? Let them attack first. You'll have the self defense card. Probably.”
Well. To be fair the self defense card never worked for Smiley after he was done with people fighting. But it was well tried on Chifuyu's part. Then on second thought…
He spared a few seconds to warn Chifuyu off.
“Find yourself somewhere quiet to chill in, okay? I'll take care of those guys. If your captain learns I made you fight with an arm in a cast, he'll surely want a rematch before I get my strategy up and perfect.”
Chifuyu raised an eyebrow briefly, staring flatly.
“Sure,” he thankfully didn’t protest. “I'll still take care of anyone that gets too close.”
“Believe me, there won’t be many.”
There they were. The first one came from behind them. Smiley waited until the very last moment before grabbing the iron rod going for his head, relishing the surprise of his opponent before he bashed it out of the boy's hands and threw it right back at his shoulder for good measure.
“Smiley.”
“Eye for an eye,” Smiley shrugged the disappointed scolding off once he'd taken care of that first guy.
He immediately sent a suckerpunch to the one attacking from front with one pivoting move. As soon as the mix got thicker and Smiley felt more in his element, Chifuyu did take a few steps back to observe quietly from the side. Smiley didn’t doubt that a few would have the brilliant idea to go for the apparently weak one, but they'd be surprised. Oh well, not his problem.
There weren’t actually that many there. Smiley was done wiping the ground with them far too soon.
“Is that all? I counted nine. At least give me a real fight if you're gonna ambush me.”
Of course, they were all too stunned on the ground to reply.
Chifuyu, alert, spoke up once more.
“Smiley. If they're here, what about Angry and the others?”
Oh fuck, Smiley had forgotten about that.
One important thing is, biker gang members did not start fights in small numbers. Not unless they were reckless and on their own territory, like Smiley. So… where was the rest?
“Fuck.”
Smiley shot up to the park, Chifuyu quick behind him.
But even as they rushed to the center of the park in a hurry, they were intercepted by one hoodlum after the next. They all looked surprised. Perhaps they'd only been there to guard the park until they were done inside. Not so confident now that two captains had come to kick their asses, huh?
No matter, if only they could all fuck off, Smiley needed to get to Souya as fast as possible.
Fuck this.
“How are you holding up?”
“Piece- of cake.”
Right. In other words, they were completely overwhelmed, but both were too proud to admit it.
It wasn’t that either Ryusei or Angry were doing badly. Ryusei had only received one blow in the stomach and one in the shoulder, with only one punch reaching his face. Angry was faring better for now, but Ryusei could see him trying to battle three opponents at the same time and it might start to become a bit rough.
The real issue was, they were only two and they were tiring, while these guys seemed like they wouldn’t stop coming.
Ryusei and Angry were limited in their movements, they found the longer the fight drew on. They needed to keep close to one another to guard each other's back. Ryusei's fist came knocking off one of Angry's fighters and with a few head gestures - took longer than Ryusei would have liked but - they managed to switch sides and take their current opponents by surprise.
“Still fine?”
Angry spat blood out.
“Worry about yourself.”
“Sure~”
Then someone drew close to his side and he grabbed them and kicked them in the stomach, before hauling the stunned body on the next guy on the right. Just as he bent from the effort, Angry seemed to have used someone's arm as a launchpad to jump over Ryusei's back at the third guy going for Ryusei while he was busy. After a quick chokehold and an elbow in the neck, he stood back up.
“What did I tell you.”
“I get it, thanks man.”
In Ryusei's opinion, that he barely had any time to have before throwing himself into the fray again, they were doing well for the number they had.
But they were far from in control. They needed others. They needed help. Ryusei had no time to push a number on his phone during the altercation, so he could only hope and wait, because despite everything…
“Lil’ Bro!”
…Absolute faith remained within him.
“Big Bro! And Chifuyu!”
“Are you alright?”
Ryusei smirked.
Not only them, but when he got a moment to look, it seemed Baji, Mikey and Draken were following closely after. They were in luck.
“What took you so long!” he threw at them, feeling vindication as the tide change was obviously felt through the waves of their adversaries.
“You shut up and fight!”
He snickered.
And looked away to fight someone else, truly throwing himself into the fray this once.
Chifuyu was there. They were fighting on the same stage.
He didn’t want to think about it, but it was all too obvious.
Now that the battlefield was more spaced out, they all had their fair share of opponents, but it was all manageable. Baji came to support Ryusei while Smiley fought like a tiger to rejoin with his brother, Chifuyu not too far behind on the margins. Mikey and Draken were completely decimating their own dozen of fighters.
Angry must have relaxed instinctively, because it was only the matter of one mistake, and someone held him by the throat.
“Souya!” Smiley positively roared.
From the corner of his eye, Ryusei saw Chifuyu grasp at Smiley's arm, so iron clad that Smiley the beast could not undo it with one twist. Seeing this, it seemed Mikey did the same for Baji.
Trust him.
Smiley looked from Chifuyu to Angry, his expression going from furious to extremely anxious, despite the large grin he still harboured. In fact it looked more like a gritting of teeth now.
But he kept quiet. Obviously on the edge of jumping right in, but he waited.
Ryusei knew not what Angry and his enemy whispered about through gritted teeth but he knew that Angry only seemed madder afterwards. But helpless?
Suddenly, it was like something clicked. On look around and Angry's features twisted into something else.
Determination, Ryusei thought.
It was not through some ungodly show of pure strength that Angry got himself out of the vice grip he was in. No, it was calculated technique, and sheer will.
It took a slow starting momentum, but Angry swept his leg up and his heel into the man's shoulder, twisting his whole body around the arm holding him and positively trying to break it. Ryusei did not know what it was, claws or teeth, or maybe it was that mean repeated kick into the man's chin that got the man to release his hold ever so slightly, but Angry, whichever it was that worked, took advantage of it to jump on his shoulder and press at the throat almost ferally. He took an elbow to the ribs that unlodged him but he dodged the next turn without panicking and tackled the man's back knees to make him fall so that he could climb on him and punch him in the face until, at last the apparent leader of the group fell into unconsciousness, his whole face purple and bloodied.
Chifyyu released Smiley. Mikey cackled like a devil where he was finishing up his own fight. Ryusei could only afford a smirk before Baji pulled him away from a rash attack on his left, and he went back to dealing with the quickly thinning crowd around them.
At last, what must have been only a couple minutes later, the last of the hoodlums around them took Mikey's loud advice to ‘go home or get crushed to death’, taking their fallen companions along or leaving them for the police to find, Ryusei wasn’t sure how they chose who to save and who to abandon.
Because the police were there. He could hear the sound of two cars from here.
“Come on let’s run!” Draken was the one to call them all back to their senses, and they ran.
They ran so hard it was exhilarating, like the old feeling of doing a bit of mischief and fighting for what was theirs, then running with the wind and his friends, a sense of belonging mixing with the adrenaline in his veins, and gods. He had missed this feeling.
Chifuyu was smiling, he realised with a glance. Had he, too, forgotten this in the struggles of…?
They stopped running ten minutes from then. They had reached the river. Ryusei took a moment to pant, holding himself on his knees, and then another to panic about his motorcycle, until he remembered with a relieved sigh that both his and Angry's motorcycles were parked all proper, with no sign of suspicious behaviour, half a kilometer away from the park. They'd be fine until he came back for it.
The first one who said something was Smiley.
“Now that we're all the way here…”
He turned around swiftly to yell at Mikey, Draken and Baji.
“Can you explain what the fuck you were doing lurking around us like that?!”
Yes, that was what a mad Smiley sounded like alright.
“We were in the area…”
“In the area my ass. Ever heard of privacy?”
And then he twisted to face Angry.
“And you!”
Angry jumped, and his shoulders rose defensively. It didn’t stop Smiley from shouting at him.
“Why the hell you didn’t come home in three fucking days?! Do you have any idea of how damn worried I was?”
Now Angry looked like a hamster taken aback, eyes round and blinking rapidly, eyebrows up and hands frozen in front of him.
Somehow, this cracked Ryusei up. He started laughing hysterically and everyone turned towards him.
Must be the stress. Of all this fucking week, this had to be the only fun and ridiculius thing that happened. And he needed it. He couldn’t stop bawling his eyes out due to the hilarity of this situation. And Smiley was right, what were Baji, Draken and Mikey even doing here, for fuck's sake? And Chifuyu, who looked both mystified at Ryusei's reaction and utterly done with life.
What a band they made.
He hoped none of them realised he wasn’t just shedding tears from the stupidity of this all. He didn’t even know why his tears fell. But that was fine.
He calmed himself and strengthened up, pulling off looking like he'd laughed so hard he's cried as he wiped the corner of his eye and suggested all breathily.
“Alright. Smiley, Angry. Maybe it’s time the two of you had a little heart-to-heart conversation. Don’t you think?”
They both deflated so fast, glancing at each other like they didn’t know what to do, Ryusei almost started laughing again. But he had a feeling neither would appreciate it.
Smiley glanced at Chifuyu, who sent him a thump up and a roll of the eyes.
“Go make up,” the boy said fondly.
Or at least Ryusei thought it sounded fond.
“I hope you will remember the child I used to be fondly, because his heart was still mine in the end.”
Mikey jumped up in the moment of wait, grabbing both Smiley and Angry with a shit-eating grin and exhorting them away.
“Stop dilly-dallying already! Go talk before I make this a gang meeting to talk about all our problems. None of us like therapy enough to survive it. You're just going to talk about your feelings honestly and you're going to like it. Nothing to be scared about!”
“I'm not scared…”
“Mikey for the love of all that is unholy-”
“Sorry Smiley I can’t hear you~”
Draken sighed at his president's antics and followed loosely after them, with only a glance left to the trio. Baji was left staring at the leaving siblings, and Ryusei followed his gaze.
Mikey left them in peace, and he could see them talking in the distance, with the sun on the right of the scenery, behind the river. They looked to be arguing, but… they listened to each other.
Ryusei briefly wondered what they could be saying.
“Don’t worry about them.”
It was Chifuyu. Ryusei turned slowly to look at him, unsure how to feel. Chifuyu wasn’t looking back. He did not smile but, as he looked at the twins talking it out in the distance, Ryusei felt like… like…
He went back on that thought, unable to explain it. But Chifuyu didn’t look nearly as exhausted as that time in the cinema. He looked better.
“They're going to make it through.”
Ryusei hummed.
“Did this happen before?” You sound so sure.
Chifuyu shrugged.
“I have no idea,” he admitted with a careless nonchalance.
It made Ryusei smile for but an instant.
And the next they were back to waiting in silence. They waited, and waited.
Until Baji threw his hands in the air and swore.
“Shit. I'm gonna talk with Draken and Mikey. You both idiots,” and he pointed an aggressive finger at them, “are going to talk. And by talk, I mean you're both going to sit down, look each other in the eyes, and solve whatever the heck's been going on between you two stupid kids, because I have enough of you.”
Ryusei had a feeling that by you, Baji really only meant Ryusei. He raised an eyebrow daintily.
“Oh? So you're saying we're going to talk about our feelings and we're going to like it, too?”
“Exactly.”
“We're not Smiley and Angry.”
“I don’t care, just figure it out.”
With that, he gave Ryusei no time to retort or find a way to get out of this deal before he left running to go smack Mikey on the head, provoking a yelling match he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon.
Meddling asshole.
Ryusei rubbed the back of his head, looking at anything but Chifuyu. He could still feel his- still feel Chifuyu's gaze on him, and running away from his problems never did solve them. It was a horrible thought he very much wanted to run away from as well, but…
A huff.
“Let’s go sit down already,” Chifuyu invited him to the riverside. “Baji-san will be on our case otherwise.”
Ryusei wanted to sigh again, but he had done that too many times today already. He dreaded this but…
Surely a talk wouldn’t completely destroy him. Right?
It could. But Chifuyu wouldn’t.
If there was even the slightest modicum of the friend he knew left in that person, he wouldn’t.
“Alright,” he relented. “Let’s.”
They went to sit down. Ryusei removed shoes and socks and let the water rise to his bare feet every now and then. Chifuyu watched the reflection of the lowering sun in the water. Bad place, Ryusei thought absentmindedly, now they were going to have a horrible conversation with the sun right in their eyes. How much worse could it get?
“Baji-san told me you remembered pieces of the future,” Chifuyu started, pulling Ryusei from his escapist thoughts.
Ryusei clenched his jaw.
“You could call it that. Not much, actually.”
Chifuyu basically ignored everything Ryusei said except for the confirmation he gave.
“We didn’t meet at all in twelve years,” he resumed, and Ryusei couldn’t read him. “Didn’t talk in eleven. I was wondering what you remembered.”
Oh. Right. Chifuyu wouldn’t know.
Thinking about the irony of it made Ryusei feel queasy.
“It’s just a couple dreams,” he said, not even knowing why he said it.
To downplay how he felt about what he remembered of it? Or was it to emphasise that he was different from Chifuyu?
He didn’t really know why he was reluctant. Chifuyu was reaching out, in a way. Was this not what he wanted?
“But in every one of them, you're already dead.”
Chifuyu barely reacted, apart from the twitching of his fingers, down on the grass.
“I see,” he said.
Ryusei noted that Chifuyu tended to say I see, just like that whenever anyone told him something sad, no matter the timeline. It was almost funny to him, but not quite. He just wanted to know what Chifuyu was really thinking about.
“I'm sorry you had to remember those things. I thought…”
Chifuyu's words faded, gaze lost but unstrained. Ryusei wondered why he apologised for something he couldn’t do anything about.
The Chifuyu Ryusei knew would never apologise for something like that.
“I thought we'd not seen each other enough for you to remember anything. So I'd thought it would be alright.”
Ryusei shrugged and looked away.
“You can’t predict everything. That's not how life works.”
Yet in Ryusei's memories, Chifuyu did predict everything. From Ryusei's actions to his very own death. Ryusei hated that he contemplated this.
“Actually, if you could predict everything,” he blurted out without thinking, “maybe you should have tried to do something about the guys who killed you, or something.”
Or something. Chifuyu chuckled, and it might be the first time Ryusei heard him laugh or even smile since the whole tape debacle.
Then again, he hadn’t been giving him a fair chance to be happy in his presence recently. The defense only made him more upset. At himself or Chifuyu, he wasn’t sure.
“No one's infallible," Chifuyu said, like it explained everything.
“I guess.”
It kind of did.
If Chifuyu of the future had been infallible, then he wouldn’t be dead, and then he wouldn’t be back here instead of Ryusei's friend. But who was Ryusei kidding? The tape would still have locked on Chifuyu and time transported him back in here, so what change would it have made?
Well. It might have given Ryusei more peace of mind, for a start.
“You know,” he said, “because of you, I haven’t been even remotely aware enough of how much of a great person I am.”
“That's a shame. Maybe you should remind me?”
“The only reason I'm not punching you right now is because I am a very magnanimous person.”
A quirk of the lips.
“Not because you know I'm fully capable of beating you black and blue right back?”
Ryusei scowled.
“I'm trying to make a narcissistic joke right now.”
“Oh. My bad.”
He sounded so… genuinely content, right now. Ryusei couldn’t understand.
“I don’t understand you,” he said, and he might have imagined the flinch. “I don’t understand why you're even trying, when you're so obviously…”
You're trying to belong, but I saw you, you can’t.
You're too haunted for that.
You can’t even speak with me without locking yourself away.
Chifuyu was so obviously trying, and failing to fit in the way he did before. He was so obviously not caring of the happenings around him anymore, and what drew him was the purpose he had found for himself. Chifuyu was the one that had gone back from the future first and foremost, before he was anyone else. If there was indeed anyone else there.
Did it mean Ryusei's Chifuyu was gone?
…For his heart is mine still.
“You're not hurt because of him. You hurt for him.”
“I never really told you before, Ryusei, though I'm sure you know,” Chifuyu chose this moment to answer and finally, to look at Ryusei. “I do consider you my friend. And I don’t want you to leave me.”
Was this really, truly the same Chifuyu?
With the same stupid values, the solid beliefs, the energy in his fists, the gleam in his eyes? With the timidity hiding a part of his feelings, although not any less obvious to a keen eye, and with the abandonment issues anchored deep underneath devotion?
Chifuyu had never been so honest, if this was what he was being in this instant.
Chifuyu held his gaze.
“I can try to argue all I want. I do think that I am Matsuno Chifuyu, and no one else can tell me who I am.”
With his stubborn streak and his absolute determination. The boy who would not take nonsense from anyone, and who forged his own path forwards.
“No matter what kind of person I become, my roots will always be the same to me,” Chifuyu said, with a confidence that Ryusei recognised.
But then he lowered his eyes.
“However I did tell you before all of this that… I should let you decide whether I am truly the Chifuyu you know or not. I know I'm not… the most aware person right now to decide objectively myself… and I can’t tell you how to feel about me. So this is still your choice, Ryusei. Whatever you think, I… I still want to be your friend.”
A pause.
“Does that make sense?”
Ryusei watched him.
Chifuyu had said that.
He remembered well, now that he thought of it, the boy's answer to his question.
Who are you?
The certainty when he said he was Matsuno Chifuyu. But also the plea in his insistence, like begging, that had sounded too quiet to be frantic and too knowing to be genuine, but had been both regardless. And then how unsure Chifuyu had sounded when he had ultimately given Ryusei the choice in the end.
After he'd promised him to tell him everything, in due time.
Had Chifuyu ever planned on making good on that promise?
“I don’t want to get close to someone who'll die,” Ryusei said, insensitive but true.
I don’t want to mourn you, get attached to you, and then break all over again.
“I won’t die,” Chifuyu promised, far too quickly, and Ryusei wasn’t sure he should believe him.
“Then,” Ryusei began, before he inevitably stopped. “I don’t know yet.”
“That's fine. I will wait until you do.”
Ryusei turned to stare at him, willing to transmit how serious this was for him.
“No you won’t. I will be waiting,” he said.
He deserved at least this.
“You said you'd tell me everything. I'll hold onto my judgement until then.”
Chifuyu stared back, taken aback. His limpid blue eyes were still unreadable, and only Ryusei's own deductive sense permitted him to tell it was surprise, this unblinking, clear stare.
Ryusei couldn’t read this Chifuyu at all, not like he could his Chifuyu, if he could say this. And somehow he doubted he ever would.
But Chifuyu was trying, was he not?
What did it cost to try a little bit, too, on his own side?
Death, something whispered, and he listened to it. He'll die and you'll be left to pick up the pieces when Baji will crumble, when you'll break. You're gonna have to tell him, I told you so, except you didn’t, because you chose to believe.
No, Ryusei wouldn’t entrust his faith to this Chifuyu. He would withhold himself, just enough not to get hurt, and he wouldn’t let Chifuyu get a grasp on his heart. He steeled himself for the long wait and kept staring right back at Chifuyu, hoping to get the message across.
Prove yourself to me.
And prove you'll stay, too.
Chifuyu softened and looked away. Directly at the setting sun.
“Alright.”
Ryusei nodded, and turned to look, too.
“Thank you.”
Ryusei didn’t react.
He merely wondered.
What was the point of staring right at something that would only burn your eyes?
I really can’t understand, Chifuyu.
But I'm trying, too.
So you better prove to me that it’s worth it.
Notes:
cue to Angry and Smiley being best bros forever until Angry notice two years later during Tenjiku fight that he still very much depends on Smiley and goes berserk on the Haitani ;D
And now we know how Angry and Smiley manned a business without ever going to school (thanks Chifuyu and your amazing 'I'll lend you my notes from business class')
Chapter 50: ,: No more dreams
Summary:
A week passes.
Notes:
If you saw this update on the 4rth of November, no you didn't, it must have been the 3rd.
This is kind of a transition chapter, don't expect too much.
Chapter Text
“Well, well. That had to be an adventure and a half!”
Baji grumbled, but did not protest. Back down, gramps called Mikey to eat, but surely Mikey still had a couple minutes to chat over the phone.
He should technically be doing homework, but fuck homework. He'd copy Draken's later.
Not that Draken would let him, but oh well.
“So? What happened after that?”
“After what?” Baji questioned him, growling voice and all.
Mikey raised an eyebrow, though sadly Baji could not see it.
“You know, after Angry and Smiley made up, and Ryusei and Chifuyu made up, and Angry said ‘but what about the restaurant's economy?’ And Chifuyu said ‘nah don’t worry I got you’ and you all went home, of course. You just said you had a division meeting the next day. Which was two days ago, which begs the question of why you're updating me so late!”
So maybe Mikey was being a drama queen. He was proud of it. He would gobble gossip if he could. As it was, he could only spy the tiniest drop of it in his childhood friends’ lives.
Just kidding. Of course Mikey was still reasonably worried about the vice captain situation. He was just trying to make fun of himself for being so worried still.
Well, what could he do? Chifuyu was basically Baji's little brother, so now he was Mikey's kid too.
And, he promised to take Chifuyu to his school's festival next Friday. He had to make good on that promise, so of course he needed to make sure Chifuyu would still be okay with it.
“T’was weird,” Baji explained after complaining a healthy amount about Mikey's prying tendencies. “Not like before, but I was expecting that. It's just that Chifuyu actually went and hid in the back. I think the only reason no one came to talk to him was because Ryusei was glaring at everyone who looked.”
“Oh? Looks like they got friendlier in the amount of time it took for them to make up,” Mikey commented curiously.
“You could say that. So he stayed glued to Ryusei's sleeve the whole time, I thought the thing would fall off. It's a miracle Ryusei agreed to stay with him on the side, but not one I'll question. I…” Baji sighed. “You know, I just thought he was a bit better now. We joked about him hiding behind my back, but I didn’t think he'd actually do something in that vein.”
Mikey did not know what Chifuyu's issues were, but if they had caused him to change so viscerally from how he was before, then it was no surprise it was still affecting him despite his most lucid efforts to fit in again.
“Give him time,” he advised. “Try to stick with a small number of people at once. Getting over traumas is never easy, and it’s not linear. We both know that.”
Baji didn’t answer. That was expected. He'd been really invested in Chifuyu's recovery, especially since he apparently found out what it was all about.
Personally, in Chifuyu, Mikey saw a bit of Emma when she first entered his household. It was clearly different, but the reluctance to get close, the way they both withdrew into themselves quietly and didn’t look like they were fitting in, that was what made Mikey think of it. Except Emma had grown from a timid quiet girl to the strict and unafraid personality she had today. All the while Chifuyu went from being a happy, explosive if slightly reserved, reasonable being to this. Mikey was just like Baji in this, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with this. He just knew it was bad.
The most important would always be the people, he had known from the very first moment he founded his gang. Years later he remembered this, and he knew whatever Chifuyu was struggling with, he shouldn’t struggle alone. So, until he could stand his own division's companions again, Mikey would take on that duty as the president of them all. It was no trouble off his back. Even Draken liked Chifuyu well enough. They both wouldn’t mind spending a little bit of their time with him just to make sure he was alright.
Plus, Chifuyu seemed to hold on fine with them compared to how he reacted to his own division. That was a worrying sigh Mikey couldn’t really ignore. But he'd been pushing his luck recently, asking straightforward questions that he knew Chifuyu didn’t necessarily want to answer. So the next time they saw each other would be more of a distraction.
“I know I need to give him time. You don’t have to tell me. I didn’t think it was that bad, that's all. Even though I should probably have seen it coming…” the last one sounded more like Baji was talking to himself.
Mikey shrugged.
“You really should have,” he agreed. “But what's done is done. He's still fine, right?”
“Think so. Technically he's relieved of duties until his arm's back in place, so it's not too strange that he wasn’t participating. So everyone's fine. Ryusei's back to school, too, so there's that.”
“That's great. By the way I forgot to tell you, but I'll be taking Chifuyu to a Christmas School Festival next week, don’t miss him too much.”
“What?!” the bear yelled in his ear. “And you didn’t think to tell me before- sorry. When did you say it was?”
“Next Friday,” Mikey supplied helpfully.
“What's its business celebrating two weeks early? Chifuyu and I've school, that day!”
“Come on, he'll just have his arm back. We're just going to celebrate for a tiny little day! You can stay at school. I'm sure his mom'll be fine with a friend whisking him away for a surprise holiday.”
“You're an insufferable piece of-”
“Well then it’s a plan! See you soon, Baji!”
Mikey hung up before Baji could start yelling for nothing again. The guy had been in an awful mood these last few days, how terrible.
It might be the Chifuyu issue. Or it might be…
Mikey looked at the calendar.
Just six more months, huh.
“Mikey, imbecile! Gramps has been calling you to eat for ages! Get down here and set the table!”
“Oh fuck, gotta go.”
**
Chifuyu came again. And again.
And the dreams eventually stopped.
Kazutora did not know whether to feel relieved or disappointed when he realised that fact. There had been a… a certain comfort, in the friendship that had been filling his nights this past week. But with the last one, he had been badly spooked. And then, no more dreams.
Instead, sometimes he looked at Chifuyu and he knew things.
He knew that Chifuyu liked mangas, but eventually took a liking to classical novels as years passed.
He knew Chifuyu was part of Toman.
He knew Chifuyu didn’t like cigarette smoke.
Knew Chifuyu didn't like guns, despite the vague shape of one under his clothes, that Kazutora had only noticed because he knew where Chifuyu liked to keep his weapons.
When he thought about it, he didn’t actually know all that much about Chifuyu, because even in the future, Chifuyu didn’t let himself have anything to know about. But strangely enough, the more Kazutora knew of these little things, the more he felt he knew Chifuyu.
Like… they were old friends.
Not just them in the future. Them now.
“You can always choose whose side you're on,” Chifuyu told him once, he didn’t quite remember in what time. “And even if the world decides it’s the wrong side, I'll still support you. Even if you end up with a gun at your throat.”
Perhaps that last part had been a lie. Kazutora vaguely remembered a tired Chifuyu who always wanted to be there, but who would stay away if he thought it necessarily.
“Even if they can’t be here, there will always be someone on your side.”
“You know Baji.”
Chifuyu looked up, taken aback. But he answered truthfully, which Kazutora valued.
“I do. Does it bother you?”
Kazutora said nothing.
Chifuyu waited a moment before he spoke up again. Despite all appearances, Kazutora listened.
He could never help but listen, when Chifuyu spoke.
“He never liked anyone like he cares for you,” he smiled, a bit painfully. “He made it clear from beginning to end.”
“How was Baji in the future?”
Kazutora never saw him in his dreams.
It was Chifuyu's turn to be silent. Maybe mulling over his words, debating what to say. If he should say it.
It didn’t matter. At least Chifuyu wasn’t willing to lie.
“He's dead isn’t he.”
Chifuyu looked on, knowing and sad.
“You saw it.”
It was Kazutora's last dream. Standing next to the body of a familiar friend, covered in blood, eyes closed and chest unmoving. He retained only a few images from it but he remembered well the resignation, the grief, and the guilt.
He remembered the guilt.
From then it was obvious that Chifuyu was connected to Baji, or else they wouldn’t connect in his dreams. But that deduction was but an afterthought. Something inconsequential.
Everything was inconsequential in the face of death, Kazutora thought. Nothing mattered anymore but the facts.
Kazutora had tried to fight the facts. The steel facts that said a murderer was against all, and all alone, and no one was on his side. He had tried to turn it around, endlessly, until they were the culprit, until he could have his life back, his side back if he just switched his role with another person’s. But Baji…
Baji was undeniably good, and he would forever be on Kazutora’s side. Even if Kazutora told himself day after day, with complete conviction, that he did not need Baji, did not need him, did not need him, not anymore, not weak. But Baji had always been too good, and he would never leave Kazutora’s side. Not truly.
And now Baji would die.
“Was I the one who killed him?”
Because of him.
Kazutora already knew the answer. He wondered why Chifuyu took the time to think of his answer. Was he going to lie?
No. Whatever Chifuyu would say was going to be the truth.
“He committed suicide,” Chifuyu ended up saying with a shake of the head. “He did not want you to be responsible for his death. But in the end…”
Kazutora could fill in the blanks. That was what he was. Responsible.
The scene haunted him day and night. All he wanted was to forget yet it stuck to him like the marrow in his bones, inseparable from him anymore, and he could still feel the phantom feeling of that guilt that never seemed to leave anymore. I didn’t kill him, I didn’t kill him, so why?
‘You didn’t kill him yet.’
‘You will.’
“I know I killed him,” he denied quietly.
“Baji didn’t want you to think that.”
“I killed him.”
Chifuyu opened his mouth, then set his jaw.
“Stop that already,” he growled. “Baji’s alive right now, and if he knew that you were being miserable over something that hasn’t happened to him yet, he would punch you in the face.”
Kazutora wanted to cry.
“How can I stop myself from killing him?”
Chifuyu’s gaze on him softened, and he deflated.
“You do what you did after the you I first met killed him in the future. You get better, so that you never feel unstable enough to kill a man again. Do you hear me, Kazutora-kun? You get better.”
Getting better.
Kazutora had not even been aware that he was unsound. Why should he question himself when the rest of the world wanted him gone? If he wanted to survive, he needed to trust only himself, and to defend himself until he had a place again, a place that was only his and that no one would take from him. Until he was the master of his own story again. But what did that matter if he killed Baji in the process? And from that, what did it mean to get better?
“I don’t understand.”
From then, Kazutora said nothing more. Nor did Chifuyu try to console him. Kazutora basked in the comfort of Chifuyu’s presence, so familiar despite only knowing him for a week.
A part of him had known Chifuyu for years and trusted him with his life.
A part of him mourned and cried out painfully every time Chifuyu left.
As he shrunk on himself, listening to the sorrowful void in his chest that refused to shed tears, he thought that perhaps he had lost Chifuyu too, in that other future.
He only seemed able to destroy all that he could get his hands on. All the good that happened to him, gone to smithereens, because of him. If his future self, thirteen years into an unknown future, did not get ‘better’ enough to keep those he wanted by his side, then how much ‘better’ could he truly get?
Was there even a sense in trying?
Chifuyu stood to leave, once the time was up.
“Remember, Kazutora-kun,” he said as a parting gift. “There is good within you. You only need to find it again.”
He left. And from him only remained the few mangas that had been sent by mail two days ago. All alone, brought back to his lonely rooms full of unopened letters and waiting light novels, Kazutora kneeled on the floor and willed himself to cry.
In vain.
**
“So? How does it feel, having two arms again?”
“A mercy,” Chifuyu mumbled honestly, stretching the limb finally freed after a surgery and some well needed time of rest. “Breaking bones is never worth it, no matter how you look at it.”
“Agreed,” Mikey snickered. “Don’t move it too much, you’ll injure it again. It’s still fragile.”
To hell with fragility, Chifuyu swore with feeling. But he did want to have two good arms for the foreseeable future, so he relented.
Baji squinted at them from the apartment complex’ first story. He appeared dubious still.
“Do you really need to leave so early in the morning?”
“Go back to sleep if it’s so early, you mother-hen,” Mikey retorted playfully. “Early walks are good for your health, you know?”
“Fuck off. Now that I’m awake, I’ll be awake until I leave for school,” Baji grumbled bitterly, before he turned his worried face to Chifuyu. “Are you sure you’ll be fine? If that idiot pipsqueak does anything, just phone me and I’ll come kick his ass.”
Mikey laughed the threat off.
“He never won against me,” he stage-whispered to Chifuyu, who remained unphased.
Ignoring the ongoing argument, he nodded at Baji in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture, sending him a goodbye wave of the hand and an ‘I’ll be back later’, which seemed to be enough to make Baji relax somewhat.
He had turned a bit protective recently. Although Chifuyu could not really blame him. He was protective of Chifuyu, of Ryusei, and, he had noticed, of all the others from the first division. Baji had been marked, that was for certain, but at least he was not acting harshly about it. Just… conservative.
And that was alright with Chifuyu.
“Okay, enough of that. Let’s go, Chifuyu! See you later, Baji!”
They left for the festival.
**
There, on the school’s roof, a girl stood.
She wasn’t anyone important. Not in Japan. She didn’t really have anyone there, now that her mother had died. She looked up at the sky, it was bright but white, greyish and covered. She wondered if the sky in America was bluer these days.
Would she feel as lonely there as she did here, if she had stayed?
At least a little bit less, she liked to think. People there would understand her, and she would understand them. Here, every word she said was awkward. They all looked at her strangely, and she had barely made one friend. The people who housed her were nice, but she wasn’t close to them. She was close to no one.
No one cared anymore.
And she always ended up climbing back here. She looked from the railings.
It was very high. Not as high as the apartment building back in her old state, but high enough.
She wondered why she held back. Out of principle, perhaps?
But who cared if she abandoned them? She had all the rights to. It wasn’t like anyone would understand what pushed her to this.
“Kohagi! Are you up there? I kinda need your help!”
The girl turned, with one last trailing glance.
“I’m coming,” she said, and she left the roof.
For now.
Even if they cared… she thought. Why should she?
None of it would concern her anymore after this.
**
“I know how he gets. I know what kind of person he is, and I know that’s what he’ll always be. But if there’s a chance, even the tiniest chance…”
“Please protect him for me. Please.”
The man, alone, staring at worn out paper that he dared not grasp too tightly, cried on the carefully inked, coded letters just below. Hoping for a miracle.
If you remember ever so slightly, please.
You must save him.
Succeed where I failed. I beg of you.
There would be no more second chance.
But this man also had already wasted all his chances. And now he doomed himself to live in a breathless world. The last, unique chance that could be granted, should a miracle happen…
It was not for him.
Chapter 51: Y: I'm Trying
Summary:
Chifuyu and Mikey go to a school festival.
Draken's here too.
Some other girl's here too.
It's not that bad for now.
Notes:
For Chifuyu's birthday, I give him time to relax and be happy! :D and also future problems.
The week of Chifuyu's birthday came right with the week of my exams, so I only have the one chapter for now, but guess I'll have more for Christmas :DDD
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The last time Chifuyu had been at a school festival was too long ago for him to remember clearly.
As he looked at the various decorations in Mikey’s school’s hallways, he found that they were familiar. However, it was not quite a feeling of nostalgia. There was nothing to miss about school festivals, except perhaps the part where it had only ever happened when Chifuyu was still a child with no blood on his hands.
Many young students were there, in the corridors and outside by the school’s barrier. They were enticing elementary students to come and visit, because that was how things went. It was very animated, with a lot of noise. Happy noise, Chifuyu thought.
He walked through it, as he followed Mikey, and at the same time he was entirely detached from these people. He did not feel their age, nor really twenty-six. It simply felt like treading through memories.
“Wow! They’re so cute!”
Chifuyu followed Mikey’s gaze and nodded at the mouse plushies on sell.
“They would make a good gift for Emma,” he commented.
“Yeah!” Mikey grinned as he sized them up. “It would make a good apology gift from Baji for missing her actual birthday. Shame he’s not here.”
“I can get it for him, though. Or a key chain maybe.”
“You’d really?” Mikey turned to him, looking amused. “Baji says you’re a scaredy cat. You sure you can go through the haunted house to get the prize?”
Chifuyu had opened enough doors to a gun to his face not to feel afraid of anything spooky anymore.
“Baji-san greatly exaggerates,” he replied collectedly instead of saying that. “You can come along to check if you’d like.”
A bold offer coming from himself. Walking in restrained spaces in the dark with only Mikey by his side would easily count as suicidal intent in his book. And it was hard impulse to get rid of. But technically there would be eye witnesses if anything happened; haunted houses were only designed to make one believe they were alone with monsters.
It was far from proof of Chifuyu’s good will, because he knew that Mikey would never attack him in front of witnessed, not if he was sensible. He used safety nets like these instead of wholeheartedly believing Mikey would not hurt him. Even though he knew Mikey had no reason to hurt him.
But it was still him trying.
He could not trust Mikey not to turn into a bloodthirsty, uncontrollable madman between one corner and the next depending on who he saw there. But if Chifuyu wanted things to go back to a semblance of normalcy, then he needed to behave like everything was normal. Otherwise he’d never get anywhere.
“Well then,” Mikey grinned like the Cheshire Cat itself. “Lead the way then.”
Unsurprisingly, the walk through the haunted house felt just like visiting the rest of the school. Mikey said nothing, humming as he impatiently awaited the jumpscares. If Chifuyu was right, it was eventually Mikey running after the volunteers that would turn into the real jumpscare of the house.
“Hey, say,” Mikey in fact suggested soon enough, “do you think I could try scaring them instead?”
Chifuyu let out a chuckle. Of course.
“You can try,” he enabled Mikey.
He knew that in his time, children would put their phone lights under their chins sometimes in the darkness to scare others. Mikey would absolutely try it, if his cellphone had had a light.
They continued navigating the makeshift maze until a couple of spiders rained on them all of a sudden. Not sudden enough for Chifuyu though, but it made Mikey laugh.
“Imagine arachnophobic guys walking in there?”
“There’s a warning at the entrance I think.”
Next, someone with an actual lamplight approached them, parading as a zombie or a ghost, Chifuyu was unsure. He had never really paid too much attention to the films Takemichi dragged him to see a decade into the future, it had been a while since he had consumed any such fictional content.
“Hello, can I have your light?”
Mikey was a menace.
They heard spooked screams on their right. The next screams sounded like they were part of the eerie experience, though.
“It’s well made,” Chifuyu noted as they continued walking forwards, looking around as he did. “I think there’s something over there.”
They found a wall with puzzle pieces in them. They glowed in the dark. This was probably the end of the haunted maze. Mikey whistled.
“Yep, really not bad for a middle school class budget.”
Chifuyu knelt to solve it. Soon enough, unbothered by the time it took, they opened the door and picked up the plushie prize there. Immediately after they did that, the sound of tortured souls echoed loudly through the room, and three people covered in black veils nearly threw themselves at them.
Chifuyu almost decapitated one of these things, but held back at the last second. Only one of the three figures was an animated puppet, so he and Mikey simply sidestepped them- though Mikey had his own fun knotting the trails of their veils together to make them fall over each other.
“Let’s get out of here now,” he snickered, catching up to Chifuyu. “I expected you to be more scared. You didn’t make a peep at all!”
“I told you, Baji-san tends to exaggerate. It takes more than electronic noise to make me scared.”
“Oh, so if it sounded more natural- or more unnatural, you’d be scared?”
The past him would have been, maybe. Chifuyu didn’t think he would ever be spooked by presupposed supernatural jumpscares again. Not when he could unload his gun on it if it ever did appear.
Although he had not brought his gun today.
“We’re out at last! I was beginning to miss the light!”
Mikey stretched as soon as he was out.
“Congratulations for completing our haunted house! You can keep the plushie as a prize!” The third year at the exit bid them goodbye all too kindly and rehearsedly.
“Thanks! Now at least we have a nice gift for Emma! Well, Baji has a nice gift for Emma. Come on, there’s a cafe downstairs, let’s go pay them a visit!”
“Ah, wait…”
Chifuyu turned quickly to catch up to his commander. But before he could go far, a heavy, steely hand fisted his shoulder all of a sudden.
Chifuyu turned around, his own vice grip on the offending wrist, ready to throw a punch and throw the opponent to the ground when he realised, fortunately quickly enough…
This was just Draken.
His mind drew a blank. That’s Draken.
“The accused is allowed to speak now.”
…
“I plead guilty. I killed them all to avenge Emma.”
…
“And I don’t regret it.”
Chifuyu had not seen Draken in years. Even if he had wanted to, he could not have, not with his cover to protect.
Even though, Draken looked younger now. He looked angry but not bloodthirsty, not gone mad with grief. Carefree.
Alive, and free. Blameless.
And he was talking- he was talking to Chifuyu, and Chifuyu had not been following a thing. He tried to shake himself up, take a step back and get his head back into the present, but his chest was constricted, he felt that he could not breathe properly and this was Draken.
“-ot mad at you but at this guy over there,” Draken was saying through gritted teeth.
Chifuyu remained perfectly frozen, because jolting and running were out of the question. He needed… a minute. But it would be a short minute, just a short minute before he put himself together. With a bit of luck no one would notice.
Hell on earth, Draken was here.
Mental preparation did nothing for this moment.
Draken called out to Mikey:
“Oi, asshole! Is that you, Mikey, dragging underclassmen around during the school festival?”
“Mh?” Mikey noticed Draken as he turned back. “Oh yeah, that’s me!”
Draken raised his other fist with the features of an angry demon.
“You’re aware you should be working, right?”
“I’m on captain duty to make a friend have fun, release the hostage now.”
“You promised your homeroom teacher you’d at least be there to encourage the class for the theatre scene!”
“I never promised shit! I never wanted to go in the first place! It’s so bad! After the cafe, Chifuyu and I are going to the music club’s performance instead!”
“Fucking warn someone at least! I’ve been looking for you for ages now!”
“I told you about it back at the riverside with Angry and Smiley, there, don’t you remember?”
“You never said shit!”
Oh, so Draken had been there too. Right. Chifuyu had been, he had been…
He had not noticed. He had noticed Baji and Mikey were following them, and the third figure could not have been anyone else but Draken, and then during the fight he had to have seen Draken, but somehow he could not remember it at all…
Flashbacks appeared silverquick through his mind, a tribunal, a highly secure jail, the death row…
And then it was another timeline that streamed through him, a body with three bullets inside it, a smiling, crying face, a coffin with yet another friend in it, and this repetitive thought, If I’d been there, I could have helped.
If I’d been there, I could have helped.
Resentment.
Chifuyu sent himself a mental slap to push all the confusion away.
“Sorry for this guy, Chifuyu. Can you wait for us at the cafe Mikey mentioned? We’re just going to apologise real quick…”
Draken let go of Chifuyu, with a tiny glimpse of concern in his eyes. Chifuyu glazed back to him and nodded, almost twice.
“Sure, no problem,” he said, nearly stumbling over his words, but thankfully remaining somewhat collected.
“What? No way! No- Ken-chin let me go!”
It took fifteen minutes before they came back.
It was long enough for Chifuyu to focus on the present again, calm himself down and reason with himself. He had seen Draken before, in this time. Just a couple weeks ago, in fact. This was just a bad moment.
He needed to get a grip. A few, subtle breathing exercises. He anchored himself into reality, and by the time Mikey and Draken came to join him at his table, he was alright again.
It was nice proving to himself that he could do it.
“Sorry for this mess,” Draken apologised. “Congrats for the arm.”
“Thanks.”
“Can we order?”
“Yes Mikey you can order…”
The school festival. Yes, Chifuyu was here to… enjoy himself or something.
He looked at Draken, a lot calmer now, inspecting him simply for the sake of memories. He spent a moment detailing the dye colour of his hair, the braid that gave him as much charisma as when Chifuyu was young and more easily impressed. His nose was scrunched in annoyance because of Mikey, but his dark, familiar eyes were soft and amused, and very much the eyes of a child still despite the boy’s height. The picture perfect of an older brother by a year or two, more serious and very fed up but also still immature in some ways, easily taken into the waves of teenage madness that they all relished. Right now, he appeared very relaxed, and quite open too. Chifuyu had not realised that their relationship had permitted that in the past.
“Anything the matter?” Draken questioned curiously when he noticed Chifuyu’s stare.
Chifuyu shook his head succinctly.
“I was lost in thoughts,” he explained his behaviour away easily. “Did you solve your problems?”
“All gone,” Mikey waved with his spoon, looking like a cat who got the cream.
“Don’t sound so smug, you.”
Draken then sighed deeply, passing a hand over his face.
“No, seriously, sorry for this buffoon, Chifuyu. Hope you didn’t wait too long.”
“I’m fine. I think I was a bit tired anyways, I needed the break.”
“That’s good to hear. Don’t hesitate to tell the pipsqueak if he starts going too fast or something like that. This guy doesn’t tend to pay attention to his surroundings when he’s having fun.”
“That’s mean! I can pay attention! Chifuyu, we didn’t overexert ourselves right? Right?”
Chifuyu repressed a huff, nodding obediently instead.
Then, it was Mikey’s turn to sigh.
“Look,” he said, both elbows on the table and looking a bit more serious. “I didn’t invite Chifuyu for no reason, alright? Baji’s been getting so protective of his guys recently he was going to smother them all. Some of them need a break, and some air, so I offered.”
Chifuyu hummed, considering as he sipped his drink. That made a lot of sense, actually. He winced internally as he recalled Baji’s worry, just simmering under the skin.
To be honest, for Chifuyu it was still too soon to act on anything more than what he had already been working on. Killing Kisaki or Hanma would not help matters. Besides, Chifuyu knew for a fact that changing the course of events radically would only create a bigger mess to clean up later on. He knew if things did not go the way they should, then the curse would simply find another way to twist the timeline on its head.
He had not told Baji that yet. For now, he felt that the timeline was his to worry about, until after the tape was sent, one way or another. After that, depending on what happened, then he might need to give Baji and Ryusei the keys to help make things right. But really, it all depended on how well things would go from here. To Chifuyu, the situation was still… somewhat precarious.
In these circumstances, Baji was forced to basically sit and wait for shit to hit the fan. And Chifuyu knew well that Baji had never been the best at sitting around for too long. Patience was not his forte. But the fact remained, there was nothing more to do. In fact, Chifuyu suspected that being around the reminder of the disastrous future all the time did not have good effects on Baji.
“Actually,” he noted out loud, “I think it’s Baji who needs a break from me right now.”
He added when both commander and vice commander turned to him, seemingly intrigued.
“Having time to think of his own needs may do him some good right now.”
Draken chuckled.
“True,” he said wistfully. “Baji, that bastard always tries to carry more than he ought to on his shoulders. I really haven’t got to see him in a while, actually… the Kawata Twins matter excluded.”
Mikey nodded in agreement, thoughtful.
“I check on him regularly and he sounds more wound up each time. I don’t suppose you’d tell us more about it, Chifuyu?”
Chifuyu shook his head, hiding behind his grip subtly but clearly enough to get the message across.
“Figured. That’s fine.”
It was nice of them to pretend it was not Chifuyu’s fault, but they all knew it. Baji had gotten protective of his lot because of what had happened to Chifuyu. Chifuyu felt thankful that they did not try to pry, respectful of his privacy.
“Enough of this depressive shit,” Draken declared, finishing his own soda. “You said you wanted to go to the music show? Which one again? The alternative rock music club or the orchestra club? The orchestra’s right after the rock show.”
Mikey made a show of looking disgusted.
“Do I look like I enjoy classical music?”
“Fair enough.”
“Seriously, you should know that at least…”
“How am I supposed to keep track when your tastes change every other wednesday!?”
Chifuyu huffed discretely at their bantering exchange.
In a way, he found he had missed this.
They both turned to him, however, prompting him to raise an eyebrow at them.
“What?”
Mikey tugged at Draken’s sleeve like something extraordinary happened, or like he was watching a cat settle on his lap and decided he should not make any noise.
“Nothing,” Draken smiled. “It’s just… nice.”
“I feel accomplished,” Mikey grinned reassuringly. “Told you this would improve your mood.”
Ah. Chifuyu guessed.
It… wasn’t that bad, being around them again.
He turned away.
“If you say so.”
It was almost uncharacteristic of him when Mikey did not insist, merely smiling at him a little bit longer.
“Alright,” he clapped, effectively taking the attention off Chifuyu. “Rock music is in the hall, because apparently not everyone wanna hear it. So we should get moving soon!”
He turned to Draken as they stood up and made their way to leave.
“Isn’t it unfair though? That rock music’s obligatorily in the hall and classical music gets to be diffused in the entire school?”
“Guess it can’t be helped. At least classical music is more widely tolerated and easier on the ears.”
“Stupid. When I’m dean I’ll change the rules.”
“He’s an idiot but he’s my idiot,” Draken slipped in Chifuyu’s ear with an amused grin.
“I heard that, asshole!”
Chifuyu allowed himself a smile.
The time taken to reach the hall was not wasted. It was a tranquil moment, or so Chifuyu would call it. The anxiety was always there, always at bay, but Chifuyu had not lived through hell for ten years without learning to manage his emotions and sort through them.
The need to bolt was irrational, he knew it well. Chifuyu simply needed to remember what it felt to slow down.
To let his muscles be relaxed not out of a need to lure others in or away, but simply to let himself be. This was what these days, these last few days had been feeling like. What he wanted it to be like.
It did not mean trust. It did not need to be. Not in this place and time.
“I care for them,” he had told Baji recently, after the last meeting. “For them all. Not being able to trust them or look at them doesn’t… it doesn't negate that.”
“Then,” his friend had told him quietly, tentatively, “if trusting is different from caring, then does it matter? You should just care. You can start with looking.”
“I’m trying,” he had said.
I’m trying, he thought now. I’m managing, I’m-
A loud noise in the entrance of the hall, from the microphone and-
It hurts, his ankle hurts, the blows reaches his temple and everything is swimming but something just misaligned itself-
He jolted backwards, his wrists were sore for but an instant, and he desperately needed to breathe.
“Sorry! The microphone fell on the drum!”
Draken whistled, the sound grounding Chifuyu in the moment.
“That was loud. Maybe I should’ve brought something for my ears.”
Mikey turned right back to Chifuyu, casual but with ever so subtly furrowed eyebrows.
“You okay, Chifuyu?”
“Yes,” Chifuyu let out all too quickly. “Yes I’m fine. It was just- surprising.”
He was trying.
Even though, his eyes swept through all the corners of the hall, quickly and swiftly, lest a threat slip past unnoticed. Mikey seemed to notice, and his features softened.
“Alright. This might be really loud, so if you want, we’ll stay at the back of the crowd.”
“Thanks. I would like that.”
Better to be able to exit fast.
Chifuyu breathed in deeply, and finally let go of it ten seconds later, rattled but alright.
This was why he needed to keep trying.
“Come on, let’s find some places,” Draken invited them to follow nonchalantly. “People are starting to come in.”
Right, students were starting to trickle in from all the double doors, choosing somewhere to stand close to the stage while murmuring in anticipation. They did not have to wait too long until the club’s members had finished setting their scene. One of them took the microphone, well fixed in place this time, and grinned at the full hall.
“Are you ready, ladies and gentlemen?”
A vague of answers resounded from the crowd. The guitarist did not need any more.
“Alright then. Let’s begin!”
**
She had stolen the key to the roof. She wanted to be alone. The shrieks of angry japanese music could barely be heard from up there. She pushed her hands against her ears, unwilling to listen to it.
She missed the slow jazz from home, the familiar swaying of her mother’s body against hers, loving and calming. She missed the waltz they would indulge in sometimes when there was a music festival in town, or the happy wandering after work.
Everything in this school only helped in reminding her of what she could not have anymore. Truthfully, she wanted that place gone.
She wanted it all gone.
Her phone chimed softly.
From : Kohagi Nishimura
Is the festival going well? Do you need to come home early?
She sighed as she read the e-mail from her half brother. Then, unable to answer, she buried her head back in her knees, her arms covering it from the rest of the world.
The sky was just as grey as this morning.
What a shame. Or maybe not.
Maybe it would rain, soon.
Notes:
Next chapter: Mikey freaking out, Draken freaking out, Chifuyu freaking out ( a bit ) Baji freaking out in his room, everyone freaking out-
Lol, see you soon.
Chapter 52: O: What a pair they make
Summary:
The pre-Christmas School Festival continues! With a hic.
Also, Baji decides to jump down an old rabbit hole.
Notes:
For Christmas I give you, more of the Christmas festival! Be merry everyone :D Also Warning: The Tape is its own Warning, Mentioned/Referenced Suicide. Yes I mean these as two different tags about two different things.
Yeah I love giving you sweet things for Christmas.
Merry Christmas :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
From: Matsuno Chifuyu
After the incident from last time, I decided not to take the tape with me. Who knows what can happen. I meant to entrust you with keeping an eye on it until I’m back, but I realise I forgot to tell you about it. It’s hidden in the wall against my bed. Do whatever with it but be careful. Also, I’ll advise you don’t watch it now, you’re stressed enough as it is.
Keisuke had been staring at the e-mail for far too long now.
This looked like a math problem. He groaned to himself for a moment.
At least his only teacher that afternoon was sick, so he got to go home early. Which meant he would spend less time agonising over Chifuyu’s stupid text and more time agonising over Chifuyu’s stupid tape.
Seriously, why keep an eye on a tape? Granted, it was a magical time-leaping tape, but it wasn’t going to grow legs and run away. If it did it just wouldn’t qualify as a tape anymore. And why Keisuke!?
After all this time saying they couldn’t open it, that they should wait for Chifuyu to be ready, and after how disappointed Chifuyu had been when he and Ryusei went and watched it anyways… now Keisuke had to watch out for the stupid thing?
And then there was the end of the message. I’ll advise you don’t watch it, but not an honest disapproval of the action. Meaning if Keisuke wanted to, he could.
What did he mean too stressed!? Keisuke was perfectly alright. He just… he’d been needing to know. No stress. Just a murderous instinct to protect and stop all his friends from dying in the future. A future Chifuyu wouldn’t tell him about. Keisuke was being normal, all things considered.
Which meant that as soon as he went home, he went to Chifuyu’s apartment.
“Sorry ma’am, Chifuyu says he’s forgotten something in his room”
“Oh.. sure, I suppose.”
And when Keisuke found himself in Chifuyu’s room, he realised there was something even more cryptic about the e-mail Chifuyu had sent him.
What do you mean, ‘in the wall’?!
Turned out, Keisuke had to move the damn bed away, look at the junction between the floor and the wall, slip his arm under a removable part of the floor-carpet which conveniently hid a crack in the wall, and blindly retrieve the tape inside the fluff filled wall.
Chifuyu’d gotten really weird since he came back from the future, huh.
Not that Keisuke could blame him.
He quickly bid goodbye to Chifuyu’s mother and retreated to his own apartment and his own room. Being there alone with the tape then raised two questions.
Should he call Ryusei?
No, he thought, his empty fist squeezing itself as he reverently held the tape in the other. Ryusei was unsettled enough by all that he had already seen. He shouldn’t have to see more. Especially when it was Keisuke’s duty as the captain to protect his gang members. Showing Ryusei the rest of this would only do more ill than good at this point.
Then… should he watch it?
The answer, it happened, was quick to be decided on.
Keisuke retrieved the VHD reader of the apartment, setting it in his room. With a heavy ball in his stomach, he set it to where he and Ryusei had paused it after Chifuyu had found them last time.
It wasn’t such a long time ago, yet it still felt like a dream from another life already. But it was true and real, and Keisuke needed- he needed. To find out what would happen in the future.
Otherwise, how was he supposed to protect Chifuyu? Ryusei? Kazutora? And Mikey?
He pressed play. The image of Tachibana Naoto filled the TV screen.
“Hello,” the boy, no older than twelve surely, greeted politely. “All of you already know me by now, but I’ll still introduce myself. My name is Tachibana Naoto. I technically come from the sixth timeline but…” he seemed to think for a moment, before shrugging, “technically all Naoto’s are one and the same really.”
And there.
It was already starting to be confusing again. Geez, Keisuke really thought he had gotten the hang of this now…
“I don’t think anyone’s really explained how the real time-leaping worked yet,” Naoto was thankfully quick to explain. “But it goes like this: when someone has been handed the time-leaping ability, they can go back in time on a couple of conditions. They cannot do it alone, they absolutely need someone else’s help. Someone needs to share a regret with them, something strong enough to bring the person back in time early enough to right that regret. Kind of like what you guys are doing with the tape, really. We call that second person the trigger. Now, when the past has been changed, the time-leaper returns to a new future. The trigger person’s memories are rewritten to be the memories of the original trigger person. That way, the trigger person remembers both futures.”
Naoto pointed at himself.
“For a majority of these futures, I was Hanagaki Takemichi’s trigger to go back in time. I wanted him to save my sister,” he explained solemnly. “As a result of the tape’s time leaping mess, I now have the memories of all the Naoto’s who got the rewritten memories. But I’d like to warn you in advance, I’m still me. I’m not gonna turn into an old man in front of you or suicide on screen. You can relax.”
And Keisuke did, unwittingly. Somehow, he hadn’t even clocked on to that concern yet.
He crossed his knees on the couch and supported his cheek on his elbow. Ready to pause the tape at any given moment, because he still wanted to listen to Chifuyu and not get in over his head, but he was still utterly focused on every detail. The real testimony was beginning now, he could tell.
Naoto wore a solemn face now.
“Like I’ve said before, the person I want to send this tape to is my sister. Tachibana Hinata. I want to tell her about everything we’ve gone through in those alternate timelines, so that she finds a way not to die in her own timeline. That way, she can stay the annoying sister she always is,” the kid smirked, before turning more serious. “It all starts with my meeting with Hanagaki Takemichi.”
That name, again.
The child looked fond, ever so subtly, as he said:
“Hanagaki is a born loser, big sis. But he really loves you.”
***
The music was loud, but not as loud as what Chifuyu used to be forced to subject himself to back in the old days… or rather back in the future’s old days.
Sometimes it was standing in the reception hall for hours listening to classical music and talking to people he would rather have put a bullet in the head of. Sometimes, it was staying in a dark-lit brothel or some drugged up dance floor where he had to attend business without flinching.
Sometimes it was just gunshots, over and over again, on repeat.
Next to that, he found that rock music was pretty enjoyable. Even though every loud screech of the microphone almost made him twitch. Old habits died hard, and Chifuyu never did flinch.
It was all too easy to forget where he was and how old he was. But he was making efforts to be present to keep himself from reaching out to his old systemic reactions.
It was hard because his systemic reactions were all often related to suppressing any reaction, keeping himself from tensing or freezing or putting a bullet in whoever grabbed him from behind because maybe it was an ally, and that was also what it meant to have trauma. Sometimes he could not make the difference between normalcy and war.
Sometimes he could not make the difference between being alright and forcing himself to be. Should he be allowing himself to flinch instead? To consciously put in the effort to show the world it was not always alright?
It was all too easy to forget where he was now. But he followed the main singer with his eyes, trusting them to tell the truth. He was in Mikey’s middle school’s hall, listening to a club’s music performance which was loud, but mostly pleasing to the ear, his fellow gang mates by his side as they stood at the back of the crowd.
It was alright.
Still, Chifuyu knew someone was approaching them with intent amongst the people coming and going behind them before the footsteps stopped in their backs. He said nothing, aware of the possibility of breaking the person’s arms. Aware he was choosing not to do it.
“Sano-kun?” a feminine voice reached their ears above the music. “Could you do me a favour?”
Mikey groaned.
“I’m not going to the stupid show, not to help and not to watch,” he said decisively, shouting over the noise.
“That’s not what I wanted to ask,” the girl shook her head. “Besides, the show’s been over for a while now. I’m looking for Kohagi, she disappeared right after she did her chores.”
“And why is that my problem?” Mikey drawled, even as Draken elbowed him.
The girl frowned.
“You’re the one who protected Suzuki when she almost got raped by the perv teacher from last year, I remember that. You’ve helped with Kohagi’s bullies in the last few months too. Look,” the girl hissed, looking worried. “I’m really concerned about her right now, she’s been off the last couple days, and she’s not talking to me anymore. I’m just… it’d reassure me if you helped me out on this one.”
Mikey sure had a reputation even in his own school, Chifuyu thought wistfully. Mikey thought it over, an annoyed frown between his eyes. But, just like Chifuyu knew him to, he groaned loudly and gave in, too righteous not to at least try something.
“Sure. You owe me a week of homework for this.”
The girl smiled, even if it was a strained curl of the lips.
“Thank you, Sano-kun.”
“A classmate?” Chifuyu questioned when she left the hall running.
“Two years in a row, yeah,” Mikey explained boredly. “She seems to think I’m some reliable guy…”
“You’re supposed to be, remember?” Draken drawled, pushing Mikey towards the exit. “Now don’t you have something to do?”
“Alright…”
“I’ll accompany you,” Chifuyu said.
He did not like the idea of being alone in the noise and the crowd. But really, he did not mind going around helping people instead of enjoying music. The last person who had asked had been so rude about it, but Chifuyu did like helping. At least, he remembered that he used to like it.
It had been a long while since. A good action would not wash a layer of blood off his hands, but it might ease his battered soul still.
They made their way out the hall. There were people everywhere, but not as much as near the stage. The music still echoed in the corridors even as they walked away. Mikey suggested looking through the third floor first, where the piano room was. But of course, as they made their way over, they found that the place was already occupied by the orchestra club who had emptied the space to move all their instruments in. No lost sad looking girl there. At least that was how Mikey described it.
Checking most rooms would be a hassle, Mikey said, so instead they first went back outside to ask the teachers at the barrier if the girl had already left the premises. By the time it took the three of them to return outside, the rock show was over, and the musicians were thanking their audience under an audible shower of screams and encouragements.
Mikey went to talk with the teachers while Draken and Chifuyu stayed a bit behind.
“This is the Orchestra’s performance. Enjoy.”
Chifuyu turned and raised his eyes to the walls of the middle school. Indeed, even outside there were a few microphones, likely used in case of emergency exercises in usual cases. He counted three on the walls at ground levels, and if he tried, he could see through the windows of the higher floors to see those that were set inside the corridors.
It was because he looked up so high that a strange figure caught his attention. He raised his head even higher, narrowing his piercing eyes to the roof. There, behind the protection barriers, there was…
“Draken,” Chifuyu called evenly, not looking away. “Is the roof open to students?”
“Huh?” the boy turned to look down at him, intrigued. “Yeah, during breaks. But today it’s closed, the school doesn’t want anyone there, either the students or the guests, so it’s locked.”
“Where are the keys?”
Now Draken was frowning.
“The director and the cleaning staff got duplicates, why are you asking all of this?”
“There’s a girl on the roof,” Chifuyu said, before he broke into a run back into the building. “Tell Mikey!”
“What? Wait- Mikey! Hey, Teacher!”
Chifuyu ran too fast to listen to the rest.
***
“Hanagaki was the reason why so many people survived, but somehow he was never satisfied. With people like him, everyone has to survive. Now you’re going to argue that my goal should be the same, as a policeman, but I’ve lived too long for revenge and reviving my sister to care too much about that on a personal level.”
“I met Mikey-”
“Really, then why didn’t you kill him!?”
“Naoto wait-”
“That bastard is the reason why my sister is dead!”
The worst of this was, Keisuke could understand it all. He did not condone it, but he could understand.
“Hanagaki has this endless will to help people, even if he’s not strong enough to win any fight nor smart enough to turn the tides on his own. It’s what allows to draw people to him. Even myself. At first I relied on him out of necessity, because it could only be him. But as time went on, I realised…” Naoto looked slightly fonder now. “I’d come to rely on him because I genuinely thought only Hanagaki would have the heart to save all these people. He keeps crying, but it’s always kind hearted, and always for others.”
Naoto added, before a memory took over the stage:
“Even when he starts giving up, the people he draws to himself pave the road for the future he wants. Because they believe in him, and because they too, believe and want that happy future.”
Keisuke was in front of Takemichi. Takemichi was on his knees, crying, sobbing for whoever could hear him.
“I killed her this time,” was what he was saying. “Everything I do always ends up worse than before, I keep messing it all up… That’s enough, let’s just give up, Naoto… we can’t do it!”
And true to form, Naoto was also there, and Keisuke could hear him think, perceive his feelings rising like a dead storm coming to life because if this man gave up then who would continue to believe?
It was such a foreign feeling. Yet… Keisuke felt that, it was a feeling that would suit into his own chest, were Mikey to falter.
Naoto grabbed Takemichi. And his words were exactly what they had always believed in.
“You’re the only one who can do this. But you’re not alone, and your actions have consequences! Before, we didn’t have Ryuguji Ken, we didn’t have Hanemiya Kazutora and we didn’t have Matsuno Chifuyu. We do now, because of you. We would never have gotten so far without them. You can’t give up now!”
“And the crowd around him continued to grow and grow,” Naoto recounted as Keisuke sighed himself out of the memory. “Until my sister was a part of it, alive and well. And until he died, I suppose.”
***
“We have to stop her!” What seemed to be Mikey’s homeroom teacher screamed in panic, but the director held her at the bottom of the last stair case.
“This is a delicate matter,” he said. “We can’t act rashly.
“Director!”
The teacher that had been with Mikey and Draken joined them, while Chifuyu withdrew towards his commander and vice-commander, watching in high alert.
“Kotoshima-sensei, can you confirm what the students testify?”
“I’ve seen it myself, sir.”
“Then call the police immediately, warn them of the case.”
“Should we stop the festival?”
Mikey intervened sharply before the director could say the same.
“That would only alert her and prompt her to jump earlier!”
All the adults turned to them.
“Sano-kun, what are you doing here?” the woman said.
Mikey raised an eyebrow at her.
“Kohagi’s my classmate. My friend was the one who saw her first,” he pointed a thump at Chifuyu, who merely nodded.
“Leave them,” the director told the teachers and the member of the staff with the key. “At least they’re not panicking, and we can’t cut them out entirely now… either way, young Sano-kun is right. Still, we are at a conundrum.”
“Right,” the other teacher nodded grimly. “We can’t simply let this go on, we have to send someone. Is the psychologist in the premises?”
“It would take too long to fetch her,” Mikey’s homeroom teacher argued, her voice trembling as she did. “And she would know! Kohagi-san has always been a very guarded student, she’ll withdraw for certain!”
“Then how about I go?” Mikey intruded on the conversation again, raising his hand to volunteer. “I’m just her classmate, so if I pretend I snuck up there and had a chat with her, it would be a long enough distraction, right?”
His teacher whipped her head towards him again.
“Sano-kun!” she protested again. “This matter is not for children! You shouldn’t even be here!”
“Misawa-sensei is right,” Kotoshima added. “There are guidelines for such situations.”
“I know them too,” the director stipulates. “And by-standing students must be as uninvolved as possible for their own health. But in dire situations, we need volunteers…”
Mikey perked up, but Draken held him back, shaking his head.
“It can’t be you,” he said with his deep rumbling voice. “She knows her best friend asks you for help sometimes, she’ll suspect something. Besides, I don’t want that on your head.”
“Well it can’t be you either, you’d just intimidate her,” Mikey retorted sharply.
“Children,” Kotoshima frowned. “Are you in any way educated in how to act in those situations? Even with volunteers, we can’t simply allow anyone to try their luck,” he turned to the director, “a student’s life is on the line!”
“Someone first needs to call Kohagi-san’s relative.”
“I’ll do it,” Draken volunteered, “I’ll go to the psychologist's office if it can help and tell her about it.”
“Thank you Ryuguji-kun,” and he took off running with their approval.
“I’m formed.”
A brief silence occurred, as all remembered that Chifuyu was, in fact, still present.
It was he who volunteered.
“I can be the distraction.”
Even Mikey was watching him like he had grown another head. He looked slightly worried, just as Chifuyu remembered him being years in the past of his memories. How nostalgic.
The director frowned.
“Young man,...” he trailed off.
“Matsuno.”
“Matsuno-kun. You’re not from our school, are you?”
“No. I’m the one who found her,” he pointed upwards, keeping steady eye contact. “I happened to help in other cases of attempted suicides, I talked down at least one person before. I’m qualified. Besides, the girl- Kohagi-san doesn’t know me and I don’t know her. And I look her age. It’ll be easier for someone like me to distract her without alarming her. I apologise if this is presumptuous, but I had to volunteer,” he explained himself calmly.
“Chifuyu…” Mikey murmured to him. “Are you sure?”
“I’m serious. Don’t worry about me.”
He was not even counting Baji’s own brand of suicide in his experiences, that one was obviously a big failure. But it was one that had marked him and made him strive to be better, when inevitably the same situation occurred, again and again, within the criminal organisation that Toman became.
He did not think his experience would be useful again now. But he always knew to be ready. He guessed that talking down a guilty man from pulling a gun on their own head or jumping down a sky-bracing building was different from talking down a middle-schooler from doing the irreparable because they felt ill in their skin.
“It would be irresponsible.”
“I know you have prioritised procedures for this,” Chifuyu shook his head, certain of himself, smileless.
***
“...After Ryuguji Ken and Sendou Atsushi, there was Matsuno Chifuyu. I’ve only ever met him as an adult, but that man is terrifyingly smart. He’s always a constant in the past Hanagaki describes.”
Keisuke perked up at the name. The dead body he had seen before that, and Draken’s changed self in prison were images carved in his mind, and he wanted nothing more but to get rid of it before nausea caught up to him. But he knew what was coming would not be happy.
Nothing about Chifuyu’s various futures ever was.
“He is discreet and always knows when to keep quiet. But he has nerves of steel. He’s helped Takemichi keep holding on more times than I can count. He is yet another admirable figure in Toman’s history, even if widely overlooked. The most terrifying about this man, however, is that he never forgets a thing, and he is as stubborn as Hanagaki when he needs to be.”
Yes, Keisuke thought with a terribly warm pain in his heart.
Keksuke knew all about that.
“And I came to learn, he is most stubborn in his sense of justice. He is solid as a rock, steady through grey moralities, and he will never bend in the name of saving people. Especially those he cares for, I learned. Even when time ticks forwards inevitably, and takes all possibilities of escape with it.”
Naoto smirked sadly.
***
Chifuyu’s eyes glowed with resolve.
“But you don’t have options.”
The director looked at him.
“And time is ticking.
Will you allow it?”
A brief silence. Brief, because time was ticking.
“...Please.”
***
She turned as she heard a key turned into the entrance’s lock. She grabbed the barriers tightly. Was she ready? Had they noticed? Were they going to try and make her believe they cared?
What good would it do them?
But instead, it was a boy who walked in, surely younger than herself. His walk was casual, and his eyes didn’t rise to meet hers. He came closer, barely, and looked up at the sky.
“We will now play Bach’s famous piece…” the microphone went on softly as the boy met her gaze at last.
“Hello,” he said, quiet and unhurried. “Are you here for the view too?”
How strange. His eyes, cloudy blue, yet so steady.
He looked as though the stormy wind could not touch him at all.
***
“Truly, what a pair they make.”
Notes:
I was supposed to have two chapters ready but I got distracted. For New Year, the next one, right? :D hopefully.
Chapter 53: U: Let's Jump
Summary:
Keisuke learns more about Takemichi, who just happened to, in another reality, have been the only one to keep those he loved going. The taste of failure is coppery like blood.
Meanwhile, Chifuyu is on a roof, and Mikey listens to a waltz.
Notes:
Happy birthday to this fic! It's been two years. I'm afraid I only have one chapter to show for it. It's the same chapter I've been locked on since months ago. Can you believe that?
I'm pathetic.
Also today's gonna be my last exam of the semester, so I'm going to be tired- and I wish my brain were better so that I could update this fic more often. But like- don't worry about that, just enjoy this occasion!Disclaimer: mentions of suicide and parental deaths
Author's disclaimer: I searched the internet for school procedures in THAT kind of situation and LO AND BEHOLD! I found nothing. Therefore, be warned that anything described below regarding the attitude of the teachers and their movements is only based on common sense and probably is to be taken with a grain of salt. Is all.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was a dimly lit basement.
Keisuke looked around, but was immediately brought to attention by the intense focus of the memory-holder. It was something grim, between obsessional hatred and frantic urgency.
Naoto wished his sister were not dead, and he wished that he did not have to reach these kinds of methods to get his revenge as a result. But a part of him was too far gone to care.
Another part of him was just glad he had fallen on these two men instead of any other murderer from Toman.
He glanced at the man sitting in front of him. He had come to somewhat acknowledge Matsuno as a sort of friend.
Maybe friend was too big a word. They simply shared a tacit sense of companionship. Naoto did not feel as- as close, he supposed, to Hanemiya, even though he had more opportunities to communicate with him than with the ever elusive spy. Perhaps it was the way Matsuno looked at him. Like he could pierce through his being, and had access to all his thoughts and feelings. So knowing, with a glint of understanding too. Bitter and dark.
“There should be an opportunity soon enough,” Matsuno said, tapping the schedule sheet with his pen. “Kisaki is moving again. The second division is the target this time, as far as I know for now.”
“Will Hanagaki be a problem?”
A pause.
“No,” Matsuno said neutrally in the end. “No he won’t. Since Tachibana Hinata’s death, he has been more alike to a living ghost than any kind of executive.”
This caused Naoto to pause in turn. For a moment, the dark, simmering hatred left enough space for old memories.
“He still loves her, then.”
“He never stopped loving her,” Matsuno confirmed quietly, not meeting Naoto’s gaze, he too reminiscing the past.
Naoto sighed. He fiddled with his own pen.
“I can’t believe… Hanagaki was the one who told me to become a detective. It has been twelve years now, since then, how people change.”
Matsuno blinked up at him.
“Did he?”
Naoto frowned. Cautious, at the unreadable spark in the other’s eyes.
“Yes,” he said all too slowly.
Keisuke had trouble recognising the look in Chifuyu’s eyes. But it was a suspicious thing. Almost knowing. Nearly, halfway through.
“He came in one night looking like he had already lived a life full of regrets, and told me to save my sister in the future. It was so strange I never forgot about it. But…”
He sighed silently.
“Whatever it really was, perhaps a prophetic dream of some kind, I was unable to save her. And he… I thought he didn’t care anymore.”
Matsuno was looking at him still, and there was something strange about him now. Like he knew, or considered something Naoto had no idea of. Then he looked away, just as suddenly.
“Kisaki manipulated him into giving the order,” he informed Naoto briskly. “If it’s him, then he would admit it by now. But that would not put Kisaki in jail, we lack proof. It would just get Hanagaki-kun arrested and executed.”
“You said you taped him though?” Naoto refused to think there was no solution, not for this vengeance.
And there. There and then, Chifuyu looked so blank, unblinking, that Keisuke knew his next words were calculatedly spoken.
“I did. But there’s nothing incriminating there, or at least not enough. In due time they might prove useful…” he was in deep thoughts, Keisuke could tell, he knew that face.
A suspicion, sharpened and dangerous. Then, a cold smile.
“When the time is right,” he concluded.
Keisuke returned to his own body, but that glint of suspicion- of trust? This strange little thing remained in his mind’s eye as Naoto explained.
“If I think about it, he probably knew before even I did, in that timeline, that Hanagaki was a time-leaper. Matsuno was unafraid of death, although he did not seek it. I do not know him enough to speculate, but sometimes I wonder if he knew that he was going to die.”
Naoto blinked slowly.
“Maybe he knew from the moment he learned that this other guy, Mitsuya Takashi, was being sent away.”
Keisuke’s chest burned when Mitsuya was mentioned. The last memory he had of the boy was that of a tired, grey-skinned young man who smiled in pain as he raised a guncanon under his own throat. The image hurt as much as it did that day in the cinema room.
He chuckled to himself.
This was probably what Chifuyu meant by too stressed. The idiot…
Keisuke was being the idiot here, actually. What a strange thought…
He tried to distract himself with the previous memory. There was something peculiar in the way Chifuyu had talked to the mini-Tachibana boy, it was so familiar. Like he had seen it recently but also… different. Ever so slightly less open.
Could it be…?
“Which brings me to the next one. Mitsuya Takashi is not someone I had the pleasure to interact with in any timeline, to be perfectly honest. I’ve only ever seen his corpses-”
Keisuke paused the tape and took his head in his hands.
Just a minute. Just one.
“Just a minute,” Mikey had asked just a moment before Chifuyu went up. “I’ll call you right now.”
He took his cellphone and contacted Chifuyu’s, even though the boy was right in front of him. Chifuyu seemed confused for less than a second before he caught on and answered the phone.
“I’ll mute it,” he said. “So she won’t hear you.”
Mikey nodded at the compromise. He just needed to watch over Chifuyu for now. Especially when Baji had left the guy under his wing for the day. Besides, he didn’t doubt the teachers would agree to the maneuver.
The staff member gave the roof’s key to Chifuyu, who thanked him with a nod. Then, measuredly, he climbed up the last staircase and opened the door without so much as a word. Mikey had heard Chifuyu’s steps before. They were silent, alarmingly so. But right now, it felt as though they were quiet, yet deliberately audible.
Maybe, Chifuyu did know what he was doing.
“Hello,” they heard Chifuyu say gently. “Are you here for the view too?”
The wind blew loudly in the phone’s captor, even though it was hidden in Chifuyu’s jacket pocket.
“I… yes.” Kohagi responded awkwardly.
Mikey could tell it was indeed her, due to her slightly accented Japanese. For a moment, it seemed that neither said anything.
The teachers glanced at each other nervously. They were still waiting for the specialised team to arrive. With hushed words, two of them eventually left to prepare for the police’s arrival, and to reassure all the students that everything was alright and continue with the festival. That left Mikey with his homeroom teacher, Misawa, who was quite literally quivering stressfully next to him.
Mikey himself was not as nervous, not outwardly. Of course, he knew well the price of a life. Dealing with the street brought unpleasant concerns to a person, especially when that person was responsible for a couple hundred kids all too eager to prove their worth.
And then, there was Shinichiro.
Mikey could barely bear to think about him sometimes. About the way he died. When he did, there was this simmering ire that threatened to boil over, that he could never quite control, and all he wanted to do was punch Baji half to death and run Kazutora through with a knife. Even though the bigger part of him knew, reasonably, that while what they had done was wrong… it had all been an accident. Just an accident.
Just too strong a hit on the head, and a life ended.
Just one careless word, one fall, and a life ended.
Mikey knew the cost of failure well. Perhaps that was what allowed him to remain still and mostly relaxed next to his squirming teacher, his hands in his pockets and his feet firmly rooted into the ground.
And maybe, it was also because he trusted Chifuyu.
“It’s very quiet here. That’s nice.”
Kohagi, for some strange reason that Mikey could only guess he would fathom if he too was standing there with them, if he could hear Chifuyu’s tone behind the grainy quality of the phone’s mic, answered.
“Did you come here to get away from the noise?”
And Chifuyu answered good naturedly.
“Yeah. This is the only place where you can’t hear the rock show. You don’t look like you wanted to listen to rock music either, right?” Mikey heard a playful grin in Chifuyu’s tone.
It was like they were just having a conversation with no worry whatsoever. If Mikey did not know Chifuyu’s louder or more severe speech habits, he would think Chifuyu was unaware of the situation. But he kept his voice unthreatening, very casual, and his language less refined than what he had made Mikey and Baji used to those last few weeks. And then the obvious emotion in the voice, the smiles. It had occurred to Mikey back in the cafe that Chifuyu didn’t really do that anymore. He just kept himself blank all the time, and it was a surprise, how accomplished Mikey had felt after making him laugh.
Chifuyu, to Mikey’s experienced ear, sounded like he knew exactly what he was doing. And Mikey trusted Baji, and he trusted Baji’s vice-captain. Even with matters like this.
Sometimes, it was simply that easy.
“Japanese rock isn’t my cup of tea…” the quiet girl murmured, barely loud enough for the cellphone to capture her voice.
“That’s understandable. It’s not for everyone,” Chifuyu agreed. “What about that?”
He must have made some pointing motion of sorts, because Kohagi knew what he was talking about.
“It’s fine. Classical music is the same everywhere, so that’s… nice.”
“That’s fun. So you know classical music?”
“Some.”
“Figures. You said it’s the same everywhere. You’re not from here?” Chifuyu sounded carefully neutral to Mikey.
“I’m not.”
Nothing followed. Mikey figured it was because Kohagi was in no mood to carry a conversation, or even just to care about others. It was yet again Chifuyu’s turn to speak.
“You’re not very talkative,” he remarked on it casually, without blame in his tone… and then unexpectedly followed up with: “Is it because of the language? I swear fictional pieces of media make it look easy to learn Japanese.”
There was a strange pause. When Kohagi’s voice sounded once more, she sounded less reserved and a little bit more… curious, perhaps. More involved at least.
“I… no. Yes. I,” she stumbled across words, “I’ve more experience than others, my mother…”
Her voice faded to silence before she finished, almost too quietly for the microphone to capture.
“My mother taught me some bases, when I was younger. I’m… better off than most.”
Kohagi’s mother, to Mikey’s knowledge, was dead.
A strange sense of melancholy and understanding overtook him. Was this why, then? He vaguely noticed one of the teachers leaving the corridor to go orchestrate a quiet evacuation of students.
“Leave the classical music club’s performance on,” the director ordered. “I’ll personally ask the emergency workers to stop their vehicles out of sight from the school.”
It left Mikey with only one adult by his side.
“That’s nice. Your Japanese is pretty good by the way. Do you practice with your mother at home, or do you prefer switching back to your native language?” inquired Chifuyu, sounding genuinely interested.
Had Chifuyu noticed Kohagi’s change of tone at the mention of her mother? Was he purposefully kicking the can of worms, or was he simply investigating?
“She’s not here,” Kohagi responded cuttingly. “I moved to Japan when she died.”
The wind blew statics into the microphone. Mikey tensed.
What now?
“I can’t quite understand your loss… but I can relate. I’m sorry to hear about it.”
A pause.
“Would you perhaps like to switch to a more familiar language?”
She huffed after a mere instant.
“Even if you knew my native language, no one around here seems to speak it well enough to have actual conversations anyways…”
“You would be surprised, miss,” Chifuyu replied with a smile in his voice, and in a language Mikey had to repeat twice in his head to recover the meaning of. “Your accent is well camouflaged, but it clearly is American. And I happen to be fluent in English.”
“You… how? Wait, I’m sorry…”
“It’s fine, it’s true Japanese people have trouble with English pronunciations. I’ve met a lot of foreigners before.”
“That’s… I’m still sorry if I’ve insulted your intelligence.”
“It’s not skin off my back. But if you insist…”
Mikey only just noticed that a new piece was being introduced in the speakers. A waltz.
“I kind of like this movement a lot,” Chifuyu said. “And I hear Americans and Europeans dance on this kind of stuff. Do you know how to?”
“It’s… an old practice. But I do know how to waltz.”
“Fantastic. I might need some advice on my steps, so how about this?”
A pause. Movement. Then:
“Let’s dance.”
“I don’t want to delve too much into the topic of Hanagaki, because I don’t want to bring the tape about him later,” Naoto started, almost bored-looking. “But from my point of view, there’s no talking about the Tokyo Manji-Kai in any hopeful way without mentioning Hanagaki. It is because of him that Hinata is alive in the eventual future. It is thanks to him that Mikey was freed from his curse. It is thanks to him that many people were able to keep moving after hell happened to them. Ryuuguji Ken, Matsuno Chifuyu, Hakkai Taiju’s family, and I suppose, even that guy from the second tape session, I forgot his name do excuse me… They all believed in him so much, you know? It wasn’t a mistake, or any sort of whim if you ask me. There’s just something about him…”
Betraying his true feelings, Naoto smiled through his sense of indifference.
“He inspires people. To do better, to be better. And for the ones who see deeper… those people help him, trust him with their lives and save his in turn. If you think about it, it could have been such a beautiful story. Perhaps it’s because they knew he needed it, to continue inspiring hope into others.”
A memory started again. Keisuke breathed in, slowly, and then found himself somewhere else.
He immediately wished he had stopped viewing the tape earlier, when he found himself faced with what was unmistakably Mikey’s corpse.
The wish to retch was strong, and it was made worse by the fact that Keisuke had no way to expel the urge. Instead, Naoto’s thoughts and memories invaded his own mind, leaving him caged, caged, caged.
He needed to stop. He needed to… Really…
Naoto watched the corpse, and then Hanagaki standing above it, tears streaming down his face.
Was Hanagaki going to give up again? Like that time in the interrogation room. After all this trouble. After all the deaths.
And yet there were hints. Hints that people believed Hanagaki would rise again.
“What will you do now?” he asked, and perhaps it was cruel of him, this trick question.
But he remembered all too well. The first memory that carried itself to his mind was the report of Matsuno’s death.
Keisuke wanted to close his eyes. He could not.
He had enough. Was that cowardly of him to think so? He certainly was ashamed of himself. But he knew that if this continued, he might do something stupid.
He had to be responsible.
The body had no marks of struggle. It died with eyes closed and a smile, etched on the face by death’ rigidity. The hints were there.
Hanagaki had told Naoto, about the truths he had revealed, and to whom.
Ryuuguji’s acceptance of his death, knife as a weapon, one that needed people to be let closer. Perhaps Naoto was reading too much into it, but was it Mikey they were resigned to follow to the end? Or was it someone else they put their trust into, some knowingly, some unwittingly?
The profile pictures of the dead floated through their shared consciousness. There was no closing their eyes. Not from the images, and not from Naoto’s theories and truths.
Despair stems hope and trust, to the discerning ones, to the ones who can change it. With only a bit of incentive… despair turns helplessness into the slightest amount of faith.
Sometimes, Keisuke could not help thinking that it was, in fact his fault. His own fault that the Tokyo Manji-Kai had turned into this- and his own fault that his own actions forced the people who looked up to him to look to someone else for help.
Chifuyu had asked him not to feel as though he had to atone. And yet.
“There’s no other choice,” Hanagaki spoke up, determined through the tears and the sorrow. “I have to go back, and fix this.”
A strange sort of fondness grew within Naoto as he looked at the boy turned man. Naoto had no trust for this man at first, and now look at him. Look at both of them, really. They’d grown so much through this apocalypse.
He wondered if that was what all those others were seeing too. Not necessarily someone to help, to baby, or to admire.
Someone to watch grow, someone to guide along the way, someone to be proud of. Because they had seen the boy, and the man in the boy.
All of them. Naoto as well, even though perhaps, he had long been unaware of it. Watching him from the side, growing and turning better every day. It felt worth it.
Hanagaki Takemichi was like the protagonist of a great story, and Naoto felt that the rest of them would be content watching from the sidelines, be forgotten by history, if it meant that their efforts in forging, guiding, and growing with this person were not in vain.
Saving some humanity in this cruel world, along the way.
Was this… how they felt?
Keisuke could not understand. His feelings for Mikey were different. He would die for Mikey, but what he felt when he really thought about it… he thought about Haruchiyo’s scars, about Chifuyu’s indifferent glare in the first memories of the tape, and the doom that lay within. It was not hatred, not indifference, but resignation. Not hope, not in the way that mattered.
Was that why he was not able to help, save anyone? Because he did not even believe in Mikey, and those around him?
Chifuyu asked him not to atone, and yet, yet Keisuke felt that if only he had changed his way, he could have, he could have saved them. Instead, they died with smiles on their lips, knowing he would not help them.
Keisuke hurled into the bin in his room.
“Sister,” Naoto smiled. “I think I recognised some of you in him. Does that make sense? I love you so much, I started to love him too. Just a little bit.”
Keisuke paused the tape, put it away, and headed out the apartment complex.
He should pay a visit to Ryusei.
This guy was weird.
Not a bad kind of weird, Kohagi supposed, looking up at the boy’s eyes. Alike many Japanese people, he was not looking directly into her eyes, rather staring off somewhere on the side of her shoulder. It was something she admired about them, the way they had of being able to look at everywhere but people’s eyes and make it look both natural and casual. How utterly baffling.
Despite the fact that the guy said he needed advice on his footing, he was dancing well enough. He was leading her in wide circles on the roof as they waltzed, and she had nothing to teach him. At the beginning it was a bit different, as he almost stepped on her shoe just once.
“I’m sorry,” he had said. “I guess I’m out of practice.”
Yet after a slight moment of stumbling around, here they were, waltzing on a roof.
It sounded stranger than it felt. The feeling of it was more… surreal. They were dancing on classical music, on the roof she had planned to jump from.
Her mother might laugh at the absurdity of it all. Or she might just scold her within an inch of her life anyways.
No matter. She was dead anyways, and she was the only person who would really have cared enough for it to matter.
“You know…” the boy said, in her native language, after a full minute of shared quiet. “I lost my father when I was young.”
She blinked. Took a moment to regain her bearings.
“Oh,” was what she came up with first. “Is that what you meant when you said you could relate?”
“Yeah.”
He had a gentle curve of the lips, like looking back at a forlorn past. Of course, there was something sad there too.
He felt distant, despite his familiar, casual touches and words.
“He died when I was born. He sacrificed himself to save a life. Because he died when I was so young, I do not remember him… or, you could say I barely know him at all. So it cannot compare to what you’re living through.”
She said nothing. She felt… wary.
It was wrong to compare. But she did not feel like contradicting him as it was.
“I once thought this allowed me to become a better person myself,” he went on. “But I suppose it messed me up instead. I used to idolise the idea of dying for a just cause.”
He put a little twirl into their steps, leaning back. She followed him.
“Sounds weird, doesn’t it?”
“Kind of,” she acknowledged. “But not that much. Back home there were a ton of people like that. They all enrolled to go to war with Iran, I guess.”
His gaze flickered towards her. She expected him to laugh, but he did not. Something rather knowing appeared in his eyes instead. They were unfathomable. Like a well of wisdom she had no access to. Wisdom or craziness, after all who knew.
“Do you think they were stupid for it?”
Again with the unexpected things that came out of this guy’s mouth. She was taken aback by it, but it was as though the dancing circles kept her into the loop of the conversation, not letting her back out or fall behind.
“I suppose some of them were… the ones who thought they could change the world. Or the ones who thought they were acting for some kind of greater good. In the end, isn’t everyone in life just living only for themselves?”
The stranger’s smile widened somehow, and again, it was not something she had anticipated. This genuine amusement, although dark in nature.
“In a way you’re right,” he tilted his head. “Everyone’s only doing anything because of their own opinions and to feel good, or better. I certainly know a lot of people who did self-sacrificing stuff, and I can guarantee that they were thinking far too much about how they felt about the situation rather than how the people around them felt about it. That’s when I started to realise how stupid that mentality was.”
She tensed, even as he lost his gaze in the sky horizon behind her.
“Who is it going to help if I die, right?” he said. “I like looking at the sky, but ultimately what is most important is focusing on yourself and the people you love, and they’re often down below where you can’t see them.”
“But it’s different for-” Kohagi blurted out before cutting herself suddenly, biting her lips.
But then she noticed that he did not look surprised at all when he repeated, and completed:
“Different for you?”
It dawned on her.
This was why he was here.
He knew.
Her first reflex was to draw away, but she was drawn in instead. The waltz was taking her away from the railing. Had that been all on purpose from the beginning?
“You said you used to want to die for a just cause,” she said, upset. “Don’t you get it then?”
“I get that death only brings doom,” was what he answered her inquiry with, unphased.
“What?” she snarled. “Are you going to tell me that I’m going to make people sad if I die? Didn’t you just say that what’s important is you and the people you love? Well, I don’t love anyone, and I’m done with this. Problem solved, now let go.”
“Is it really that easy, though?” he questioned her.
It was pissing her off so badly.
“Isn’t it?” she challenged.
“So,” he surmised all too calmly for her liking, “you’re of the opinion that nothing that happens after your death is any of your problem, is that right?”
“That’s right,” she spat bitterly. “I don’t care for it.”
“I understand,” he said. “Let’s see if I can change your mind. Kohagi-san.”
But instead of arguing he started leading her away. His grasp was firm, she could not get away.
“If you’re so certain dying is as easy and consequence-less as you believe it is, then alright.”
He led her towards the edge, near, too near, with smart twirls of their feets, turning the waltz into something more airy, somewhat less controlled, with elegance that reminded her of her past. Then, he looked into her eyes, deadly.
She realised they were not simply unfathomable.
They were empty as abysses. Churning, strict, and cold.
Quiet, the words that accompanied this direct confrontation at the edge of life and death:
“Let’s jump.”
Notes:
Yeah I do love my cliffhangers. This one was planned since two years ago. Hope you liked it.