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It doesn’t hurt, in the end.
After the shivering stops, there’s nothing to feel. It is a little disappointing to notice that he’ll make it to the next day. The sky cleared through the night so the moon is bright over the accumulated snow - the dawn will bring some warmth, he’ll taw, and the next day will be easier to bear.
Staying quiet is more tolerable at least, despite the immeasurable disappointment. Any living creature wants to continue living, but he’s a little tired by now. He’s very aware that his soul is tainted, promised to some incomprehensible entity that whispers to him every time he’s pushed to a new low. With each creative new punishment his wife devises, Tantai Jin can’t help but wonder, wish, that it will be her last chance.
His mind is quiet this time. It must mean something.
When his eyes slip closed they stay. When his body finally gives up, he’s caught by overwhelming warmth.
“You did well,” the softest of voices tells him, so different from how it sounded inside his mind. “Let go.”
It’s been a long, long time.
The absence of a physical body gave him time to rest and almost three decades of slowly simmering resentment helped him regain his strength even faster. Suppressing this vessel’s emotions was the correct decision - without outlet, every bit of anger and fear and hurt bound this body to the corrupted essence in it and built the power he needed to step back into this world.
That does not mean that the people that abused his creation are any more excusable.
He stays kneeling for a while, getting used to the feeling of this form. It’s very similar to the original body that formed when the chaos and pain of the world crystallized into divinity, but weaker. So much weaker. Of course, physical strength means nothing in comparison to the magic running through it and this body will repair itself fast, regardless of the brush with death.
Before long, the scent of the emotions that created him becomes too enticing. This family doesn’t even try to hide what they are - ambition and betrayal, pride and fear, death… More than one body buried under the century-old hallways. A perfect place.
The bedroom Tantai Jin shared with his delightful wife is the closest one, with a window conveniently opening to the yard. She’s the most beloved, the cruelest. Pretty Ye Xiwu deserves his full attention, after the fantastic work she did in feeding Tantai Jin’s despair and leaving his soul ready to let go. Certainly, the wispy threads of Tantai Jin’s consciousness that still linger in him will dissolve after being granted this little bit of resolution.
It takes him a few moments to relearn the tricks of being substantial and the first steps on frost numb legs are less than graceful, but soon enough he’s crossing the yard in the direction of the shuttered bedroom. He’ll work on the girl first. The despair of the family that adores her so much will be a sweet start to this new life.
The door slides open easily - proof of confidence and money, the best things Ye Xiwu has - and he slides in like a ghost. He is inhabiting a dead man’s body, in a sense, regardless of the fact it was created for this purpose. Tantai Jin was a person in his own right, even if designed for a single use. It was interesting to watch him grow, seeing how the presence of such terrible divine potential influenced his personality.
It turned out to be very entertaining. He considered delaying his plans just to let him close that third decade, leave it nice and even. A couple of years is nothing in the face of immortality, but there’s a limit to how much abuse a human body can withstand and Tantai Jin had been close to that for a long time.
Ye Xiwu is only a shadow under the heavy blankets. He conjures only enough light to see by, making a short stop by the tall mirror. Changes would come with time, as his divine soul suffuses and heals this body, but the unnatural golden shine already settled over his eyes.
Mortals are very easily swayed by beauty, which is why demons are usually preoccupied with appearances. It’s proof of how unsettling the evil bone made Tantai Jin’s aura be that even such a delicate face was not enough to change people’s hearts. The fact that he kept getting up when pushed down certainly did not help. Nobody likes stubborn reflections of their inadequacies.
The woman doesn’t move when he sits on the edge of her bed, or when a pale hand settles on her covered shoulder. On a mattress so soft and with such a self-assured mind, it is no wonder that she sleeps deeply. Maybe she would have slept better, more safely, for many years more, if her husband ever was allowed to share such comfort.
Afterall, if Tantai Jin was alive, if he was healthy and content, there was no way for him to take over. No need to collect these debts, either.
“Ye Xiwu,” he calls. Even being a little raspy from coughing so much in the cold, this body’s voice still sounds suitably soft for the hour. “Wake up.”
Patiently, he shakes her a little, then runs the back of a cold finger over her plump cheek until Ye Xiwu groans and bats at him, turning on her back. Her expression is confused for a moment as she gets used to the light, then she frowns quite fiercely.
“Tantai Jin! What are you doing? Who said you can come in?”
She tries to sit, but he places a hand on her shoulder and gently pushes her back. Ye Xiwu might be a mess of a woman, but she’s not stupid and seems to notice that something about her husband isn’t right.
“You told me myself, wife. You said that I could only come in dead.” He fishes one of her delicate hands from under the blankets and lays it on his chest, showing the stillness of the heart underneath. “See? I can come inside now, right?”
The fear that overtakes her covers his tongue in sweetness and pulls his soul a little more tightly together. Even the proudest immortal has fears. Even gods.
“Ghost…” The lady stammers, shrinking back as much as the mattress allows and trying to pull her hand away from his grasp.
“You loved this husband so well.” He leans closer, one hand holding hers and the other bracing beside her face, and wonders if the sight of this body over hers is still familiar. “Allow me to return the favor.”
He rests his face on the lady’s cool hand, enjoying the softness against his skin. Ye Xiwu has the good hands of a pampered mistress and they fit nicely against the sharp edges of this body’s cheeks, cooling the excessive heat on them. It took a long while to gather the power needed to bring this dead body back to life, get the organs working again, and now everything is too intense.
Few knew, but these early hours of a god can be extremely fragile.
On the bed, the lady’s breaths come in quiet little moans. Occasionally she shivers violently enough that the hand he’s holding trembles and further smears blood onto his fair skin.
“Can you give me a name, Ye Xiwu? It would be interesting to have a name.”
He looks up again, over the edge of the mattress, and sees she’s staring at the ceiling. Maybe she can’t speak anymore, but he doubts such a vibrant and tenacious soul would give up so easily. When he sits up on the bed again, she turns her head to look at him, fire still burning behind her eyes despite half of her blood having soaked into the blankets. It’s all she can move.
“I hate you,” she whispers. “Tantai… Jin.”
Smiling, he holds her pretty, sweaty face between his bloody hands.
“That is good. You did very well.”
It is Tantai Jin, as she wishes, whose mouth closes over hers and allows her hateful soul to strengthen the final ties between his body and spirit. Tantai Jin, while he sits and waits for the household to wake and find them.
He’ll be the Devil God to the immortals later, who know him best. But for dealing with those who bullied and refined his best creation, he’s Tantai Jin.