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It was an average afternoon, if slow.
Kade and Charlie were both sat at the table, each sipping a drink, Charlie's a glass of apple juice, and Kade's chocolate milk in a mug.
Kade was scrolling down something on his phone, and sipping away, not speaking for the most part, and Charlie was reading the paper.
"Seems Mr.Prescott's gotten real interested in aliens." Charlie said.
"Huxley's been like that since high school." Kade said back. "I'm surprised he managed to get any sort of a job as a reporter of any kind when he's a lunatic conspiracy theorist."
"There's no need to be so harsh, Kade. He's young and dumb, as most his age are." Charlie said.
"One, that kind of looses it's effect of excusing his stupidity when at his age, among my friend group: I was a captain, my best friend was already a lawyer, two of my friends were celebrating their two year anniversary and one of them is a photographer, one was a damn good mixologist, one was getting some VA work and playing gigs at places, and one was in med school." Kade said. "Two, you're implying Dani's like that, because she's the same age as Huxley. Also another reason that loses its effectiveness."
"I wasn't implying Dani is like him." Charlie said.
"Not intentionally, but you did."
"Regardless of that point - I didn't realize you had that many friends, and that implies the two married ones both got married at twenty."
"They did, and the two are married to each other. That's the wedding I went to - Kai and Ethan's."
"Kai and Ethan?" Charlie asked. "Those both sound like boy names."
"They are." Kade confirmed.
"And they're married?" He asked.
Kade looked up from what he was reading, with a deadpan expression.
"People are gay, Charlie."
"I know that-" he began before being cut off, as loud stomping began, and Cody jumped down off multiple steps.
Cody stared at Kade, looking absolutely furious.
"Cody, please don't do that, you could hurt yourself."
Cody seemed to ignore Charlie.
"SIX YEARS."
They both stared at him.
"Cody, son, what's the matter? Why are you yelling?" Charlie asked.
"Probably nothing, just some dumb video game or something." Kade said, beginning to shrug it off.
"SIX YEARS!" The nine year old boy shouted angrily. "SIX YEARS YOU'VE LET ME WATER A FAKE PLANT! AND YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING ME DO IT EVERY DAY FOR FOUR!"
He started to point at Kade accusingly. Kade, who had raised his mug up, and was using it to hide his smile as he quietly snorted and laughed.
"Cody, it's probably just a misunderstanding about the plant-"
"NO, HE GAVE ME THAT PLANT, AND TOLD ME IT WAS REAL, SO I HAD TO MAINTAIN IT BY GIVING IT SUNLIGHT AND WATERING IT."
Kade snorted and laughed a little more.
Charlie turned a hard look onto his eldest. "Kade." He said with a scolding voice.
Kade only laughed more, before he pulled himself together enough to speak. "In my defense, he was three. If I gave him a real plant it would have died."
"You could have told him it wasn't a real plant."
"Then he wouldn't have cared, and he wouldn't have felt responsible because he was caring for it, or special because I entrusted him with it while I was gone."
Charlie just looked at him, with a flat, and disappointed expression. Unfortunately, it didn't temper Kade's humor in the slightest.
"I'm sorry, Cody was three and said he would miss me, so I gave him the plant as something to think of me by, and think of proud I would be of him if I could see him being responsible, and I made sure it wasn't real so it wouldn't die, and he wouldn't get sad and traumatized by it dying." Kade said with a guilty smile, laughing a little.
"You could have just gotten him a stuffed animal." Charlie said.
"I didn't think about it at the time. I was loopy as fuck." Kade laughed.
"What do you mean you were 'loopy as fuck'?"
"I was in the hospital, on painkillers, and drugged to high heaven because I was fresh awake from surgery on my arm, and my arm was recovering from being impaled." Kade said with a raised brow now.
"You decided to get Cody a fake plant, while you were out of your right mind on hospital drugs, and followed through when you were sober and out of the hospital?"
"No, I called up one of my friends and asked them to pick up the plant and shit while I was still high. And then I decided to give it to Cody, after I was released, because he'd already spent the money, and it seemed like a good enough idea at the time."
"Oh my god." Charlie facepalmed.
Kade just continued laughing.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I thought it would be nice."
Charlie just sighed and rubbed his temples.
“What am I going to do with you…” he asked to himself, and Kade snorted and chuckled a little more.
“I wanna sue.” Cody said from where he was stood with his arms crossed over his chest. Charlie whipped his head around to look at his youngest, and Kade just started to full on laugh hysterically.
Charlie sighed. What was he going to do with them? Thank god he only had to deal with four little menaces he’d welcomed into his life.