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Atsushi was no stranger to being helpless.
He’d always been helpless in a way. Trapped inside a rubbish bag that had been dumped on a street corner. The weak kid, the runt of the litter. He’d been easy prey for as long as he could remember. His rather unique haircut was a constant reminder of that. So maybe it was no surprise that he would go out like this.
Unable to move. Unable to do anything but scream as cold metallic hands settled around his neck and twisted. Even with all the power he’d gained was it always going to end like this? Stained in the blood of his friends as he dangled helplessly from above in agony.
The Presidents last orders, he’d failed them. He failed him just like he failed everyone. The headmaster used to say Atsushi was one who was abandoned by all. His parents and the world had left him to rot. Maybe this was exactly the fate he deserved. He went limp against Gozen’s grasp. His vision was coming in and out and his neck hurt like nothing he’d ever felt before. Pain had always been Atsushi’s most closest companion.
Of course he was not going to be granted a peaceful end.
Not that he deserved one.
Atsushi felt himself slipping. The pain made him feel heavier. The air barely reaching lungs anymore. He closed his eyes unable to bare the cruel glint in Fyodor’s eyes anymore.When something cuts through the air like a freight train. Atsushi feels himself falling but the ground isn’t as hard as he thought it’d be.
It took a moment for him to realises he’s been caught. Fear seized him for a moment before remembering that neither Fyodor nor Gozen wear bandages. Tears welled up in Atsushi’s eyes and without even thinking he reaches a shaky hand out. Only for another to hold his. The coolness of No Longer Human brushing against his skin like a healing balm.
Nothing like Fyodor’s cruel touch.
“Dazai?” He asked, desperation colouring his words in a way that broke Dazai’s heart. “Oh Atsushi…” His gaze softened as he took in the shattered pieces of him. The blood on his shirt, the shadowed sorrow in his eyes. The eyes of someone who had given up, who’d accepted the end and welcomed it.
Had they been piercing blue, he could’ve been his mirror image. And that hurt more than any physical wound. To see Atsushi, Atsushi who had always done whatever he could to survive broken down to this. Dazai didn’t hesitate to pull Atsushi into his arms. The weretiger’s whole body shook like a leaf, clinging to that familiar brown coat like a lifeline. And yet Atsushi didn’t cry at all because even now he was fighting to stay strong.
He had gone through so much, too much. Dazai had made the plan with Ranpo and he’d agreed to get arrested. But it never felt right to leave Atsushi behind. There were few times in his life that Dazai hated being right, this was one of them. He gently ran a hand through Atsushi’s hair. Making his movements slow and methodical. He felt Atsushi freeze for a few seconds before leaning into the touch. With a level of hesitance that Dazai hasn’t seen since he’s first started at the Agency.
Atsushi had since grown accustomed to physical touch that didn’t cause him pain. It didn’t take a Ranpo to figure out that he was very much starved of affection. The first time Dazai had patted his head, Atsushi had flinched back so hard he almost hit his head on the wall. Before all of this Atsushi would’ve lit up like the moon at such a gesture.
What did they do to him?
”I’m sorry. I couldn’t…Kunikida was and then Junichiro…Kenji.” Atsushi’s voice broke on every single name. His explanation a mess of details and apologises. Through it all Dazai waited patiently. Before taking both Atsushi’s hands in his, getting his attention. “It’s not your fault.” His voice is firm but it never loses its warmth. “No, no don’t look at me like that. You did everything you could Atsushi and no one with a heart could ever say otherwise.”
The strength within Atsushi was something to be admired. He’d carried such a heavy burden on his shoulders all alone. But he was never meant to carry it alone.
And it had almost killed him.
“But it wasn’t enough! If it was, everyone would still be here!” Yelled Atsushi. He looked so small nestled in Dazai’s arms. He wanted to be yelled at, to be punished for his wrongdoings. But Dazai would not give him what he sought. Instead he pointed ahead and asked “do you know who that is?”
Atsushi blinked in surprise and followed his gaze. A red blurr was surrounding Gozen, shooting through the air like a star. The figure was moving too fast to be seen clearly. But the hat on his head was the same one Atsushi had seen falling from the Moby Dick.
“He’s Port Mafia?” Dazai nodded “correct. That is Chuuya Nakahara. Gravity manipulator, Port Mafia Executive and one of if not the strongest ability user in the country.” Atsushi stared at him with wide eyes that made Dazai chuckle. “And do you see how he’s faring?”
Atsushi could.
Chuuya was definitely strong there was no two ways about it. But even with all his strength, Gozen refused to fall. A being such as him broke the laws of nature itself, putting Chuuya largely on the defensive. “He’s struggling” said Atsushi quietly. “He is, because even the greats can only do so much alone.” Agreed Dazai as he faced Atsushi once again. “Even on your solo missions, you were never without someone by your side. Be it physically or otherwise.”
Atsushi knew Dazai was right but still…”He said it was my fault. That if I was faster, my ability won’t be affected by the sword.” He admitted quietly but Dazai heard him clear as day. A emotion that vanished as quickly as it came flickered across Dazai’s face. His hold on Atsushi tightened but not painfully, not even close.“You may never believe me, but I will say it till you do. None of this is your fault. It never has and it never will be. If you can’t trust your own words, you can trust mine.” Said Dazai, wiping the tears that began to roll down Atsushi’s face. “When we fix this, we’ll do it together.”
After this Dazai was never letting Atsushi out of his sight again.
“When?”
“Ah, well we’re not here to fight just yet.” Explained Dazai “we’re going to regroup with our allies, make a plan and go from there.” He ruffled Atsushi’s hair “and you, are going to get some rest and a nice warm meal.” He was sure Chuuya wouldn’t mind paying just this once.“But we can’t. We don’t have time for that we need to take him down” argued Atsushi. “Nope” said Dazai shaking his head “the way we are now, we’d lose in seconds. As much as I hate to admit it, we have no choice but to retreat.”
He grinned sheepishly “you may have to help me, my leg is definitely broken.” Dazai knew pulling the injury card was low. It wasn’t untrue but he knew Atsushi would never leave for his own sake. He was too selfless for this cruel world. “Why didn’t you say anything?!“ Dazai shrugged “I got caught up in the moment.”Atsushi just stared at him, possibly judgementally.
And then smiled.
“I missed you, Dazai” Dazai’s eyes widened in surprise, and then he smiled too. “I missed you too, Atsushi.”
He looked outwards the grey sky “when we met I promised you a home to call your own. And I don’t intend on breaking my word.”He looked back at Atsushi “the Agency never leaves anyone behind. We aren’t abandoning anyone or the hope they’ll come home by retreating for now. This isn’t the end, not even close.” Atsushi still felt conflicted but he decided if he couldn’t trust himself.
He would trust Dazai.
“I….okay.” Said Atsushi finally and Dazai felt himself lighten with relief. That was until Atsushi stumbled forward. He would’ve fallen if Dazai wasn’t holding him. Dazai looked at him in alarm before realising Atsushi was simply exhausted. He softened, picking Atsushi up and ruffling his hair “rest, Atsushi. I’ve got you.” If Dazai had it his way no one would ever hurt Atsushi again, not even Atsushi. Atsushi looked like he wanted to argue but settled for putting his head on Dazai’s shoulder.
He was out like a light.
“Oi!”
Chuuya shot over and landed beside them, like the show off he was. “Are you done here?” He asked and Dazai shook his head “no not yet” he said distantly. Chuuya scoffed but he didn’t seem surprised. “Alright, but make it quick. That divine pain in my ass is down but he won’t be for long.” He looked at the passed out form of Atsushi with a critical eye.
Dazai knew it wouldn’t take long for Chuuya to grow fond over Atsushi. He just had that effect on people and Chuuya even with his rank was a bleeding heart. Still, Dazai found it hard to hand Atsushi over. He felt a bit lost without him.
It was a good thing this wouldn’t take long.
Fyodor had been too distracted by Chuuya re-emerging that he didn’t notice Dazai till now. If he was surprised to see him, he didn’t show it. “My my, look what the cat dragged in. I’d say it was nice seeing you but that would be a lie.”
The sound of his voice and his signature smirk was enough to piss Dazai off. He didn’t retort, he didn’t even stop in his decent down the battlefield. His pace quickened like lighting in a storm. The next thing Fyodor knew was that he was being punted across the airport. Hitting a pile of debris with a thunderclap.
The surprise on his was almost as satisfying as the crack his jaw made when Dazai’s fist connected with it.
But it wasn’t enough.
Fury burned through Dazai like it hadn’t in years. His whole body felt like it was on fire. Fyodor stared at him in shock and Dazai almost laughed. “What? Did you really think I got this far with just my brains?” Fyodor opened his mouth and Dazai punched him again.
But it wasn’t enough.
This man, this demon had taken everything Dazai had held dear. And crushed it without a second thought. As if the Agency weren’t Dazai’s entire world. As if the thought of being a second late and burying Atsushi beside Odasuku wouldn’t haunt him forever.Anger didn’t even begin to describe how Dazai felt. He didn’t bother with questions. He didn’t even speak. He stepped right through the intricate dance they’d made.
And crushed it under his feet.
And Fyodor’s hand.
He also crushed Fyodor’s hand. The same one Dazai injured earlier. The same hand Fyodor couldn’t fathom Dazai had managed to hurt. He now crushed like dirt beneath his foot. Fyodor let out a cry of pain, scowling at him from among the dirt.
But it wasn’t enough.
All Dazai could see in his mind was Atsushi’s terror. The way he didn’t even try to struggle because he’d already given up. Fyodor wouldn’t fight him when it was time. No because Dazai was going to make him beg for an end that would never come. He punched Fyodor again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
But it wasn’t enough because it would never be enough. Because nothing Dazai could inflict on this parasite would ever come close to what pain his family had gone through. But Dazai could spend all day beating him into the dirt but it would never be more important than being with Atsushi. Atsushi who was waiting for him. Atsushi who would be terrified if he woke up alone.
It would be enough, for now.
“There’s one thing you really need to account for” said Dazai. He didn’t know if Fyodor was still conscious but he didn’t care. “You can’t kill me and I don’t need to kill you. On the contrary, I want you to live. I want you to be chained to this world you despise for the rest of time. I will drag you from hell itself at the crack of dawn and watch you live your life as nothing but a man.”
Dazai got up.
He had wasted enough time on this errand. He doubted Fyodor would be moving for a while. None of his wounds were fatal, just painful. He couldn’t drag the bastard with him, not with Gozen slowly but surely getting back to his senses.
Dazai paused in his tracks.
Time seemed to stop around him. Much like it had even he heard Atsushi’s screams. He knelt down and picked up the familiar fallen green notebook as if it were made of glass. Delicately, Dazai brushed the dust from its cover and slipped it into his coat. He wiped a tear from his eye as he began to move forward.
This was far from over.
“Took you long enough” said Chuuya when Dazai finally made it back to the helicopter. He didn’t comment on the blood on his hands. Though Chuuya did throw him some wipes to clean his hands with. Once clean, Chuuya nodded to the back of the helicopter. Where Atsushi was laying across the seats, thankfully getting some rest. Dazai raised an eyebrow when he noticed it was Chuuya’s coat Atsushi was bundled up in.
Chuuya scoffed, looking away “I just didn’t want him to get cold, if he gets sick it’ll be a nightmare.” Truly the Atsushi effect, you couldn’t have a heart and not care about him.The two of them piled into the helicopter, Dazai didn’t even pretend he wanted to pilot.
He immediately made a beeline for the back and sat on the one free seat. Chuuya grumbled but it lacked its usual fire. He even took off a lot more gently than usual.
”Medic will be waiting for us once we get there” Chuuya informed, rolling his eyes at Dazai’s appalled look. “Yeah yeah there’s one for you too, idiot.” Dazai nodded, running a hand through Atsushi’s hair and hoping it kept any nightmares at bay. The last thing Atsushi needed was more pain. But luckily his slumber seemed quite peaceful. It was probably why he and Chuuya were being so unusually quiet.
“There’s something else” whispered Dazai, not taking his eyes off Atsushi. “Yeah I figured, his tummy was rumbling so loud you could mistake it for his ability.” It wouldn’t have surprised Dazai, who knew when Atsushi had last had a good meal.“And I haven’t been shopping in a while on account of being a vampire.” Chuuya threw this phone back and Dazai caught it instinctively. “So grab yourselves some take away, I know you’re gonna charge it to my card anyway.”
Dazai stared him in surprise “but this is set to your address.” Chuuya nodded “yeah genius, I know you probably want to go pretend everything’s fine. And I’ve got no doubt it will be, because this shits not normal. But…” Chuuya sighed, heavily. “This shit is something you don’t sit with alone. I know you’ve got him with you. But you’ve gotta have someone looking out for you like you are with him.”
Chuuya shook his head “and your dorms were all raided by the military. So unless you’ve got somewhere else to go…I dunno call it a kidnapping if it makes you feel better.” Dazai didn’t show it but it meant more to him than he thought it would. Chuuya had always had a bleeding heart, and Dazai had never been grateful for it until now.
“Does your card still have a limit?” He asked instead of thank you and Chuuya rolled his eyes instead of your welcome.
It was no surprise that Dazai ordered two big bowls of chazuke.