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Like all good vigilantes, the Batfamily were used to weird things happening. Sure, once in a while, certain things managed to surprise them, like the biological child(ren) of the Big Bad Bat (though it really shouldn't with how much Bruce was used to adopting, anyway) showing up and trying to kill- actually, no. They were used to the trying to kill part. That had gotten old fairly quickly.
Regardless, the point was, they were used to weird shit happening and (trying to) surprise them, but very little had actually succeeded in the past few years.
So finding a big blue box materialize with a weird pulsing sound in the middle of the kitchen? Not really surprising, even though it did put them on the guard.
Seeing Alfred spin around, stare at it for half a minute without reacting, and then sigh?
Okay, so maybe there was a slight bit of surprise at that.
Jason started incredulously at the butler. “You know what that is?” He demanded.
“Huh?” Dick asked.
“... Yes,” Alfred admitted but said nothing else, not even for them to relax.
The door slowly pulled in, steam escaping, and then—
And then a young man peered out, looking slightly older than Dick. For a moment, as he stared at Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, and Damian, he looked confused. “I could have sworn–” He started to say, then his eyes landed on Alfred, standing next to the stove, and he broke out into a huge grin. “Alfie! My man! How are you?”
Alfred inclined his head, a small, unintentional smile flickering on his lips. “Doctor,” He greeted. “It's been… quite some time.”
The stranger, this Doctor, grinned even wider, stepping right out of the box, his hands flailing about. “Right? I haven't seen you in decades, old chap!” He hummed.
Alfred, to the surprise of all his charges, rolled his eyes. “I do believe it's been longer for you than it has been for me. You seem to have acquired a fairly new face.”
Tim made a confused sound in the back of his throat.
Dick choked.
“Who is this interloper?” Damian demanded, finally finding his voice and glaring at the man. “The only reason I am not finishing him off is because you seem to know him, Pennyworth.”
The Doctor's mouth fell open. “Rude!” He sputtered. “I am a perfectly normal Time Lord, thank you very much!”
Alfred smiled more naturally. “Well, it isn't like any of these children have met other Time Lords,” He pointed out, then shook his head. “Did you really have to park inside my kitchen?”
“You don't even sound mad,” Jason murmured with wide eyes.
“Oh, couldn't find a better place,” The Doctor said, shrugging. “And besides, Alfred here knows I've done worse.”
Alfred's smile tightened. “Why are you here, Doctor?”
“And who are you?” Damian added, sidling up to Alfred to stand threateningly at his side.
“Ooh, you have a tiny protector,” The Doctor said, sounding excited. “Absolutely love it.”
Damian bristled and Tim snorted. “Okay, yeah,” Tim said. “I get it.”
The Doctor’s eyes swiveled to land on him, simultaneously childish and all-knowing. “Do you?” He asked quietly. “Because I have found that many of the people who express so often do not.”
Tim didn't waver. “You're the Doctor,” He said, and he said it in such a way that his brothers just knew he knew.
The Doctor's serious expression slid entirely off, and he grinned. “Hullo, there!” He said again. “Smart lad, aren't you?”
Tim chuckled, then pointed at Alfred. “But how do you…?”
Alfred cleared his throat. “When I was younger, long before I came into the employ of Master Thomas and Miss Martha, I used to travel with the Doctor,” He said.
“In this little blue box!” The Doctor added, tapping the door. “Splendid, innit?” He shook his head. “Never you mind. More importantly, I'm in a spot of trouble and I may need your help.” He grimaced. “You were the only one in America I could locate.”
Alfred's eyes flared. “What happened?”
The Doctor grimaced. “My friends,” He said softly, darkly. “They were taken. And I need your help to save them.”
Alfred was silent for a moment, and then he nodded. “I’ll get my jacket,” He said crisply, and then cracked a smile. “Anything else you'd like to share, Doctor?”
The serious atmosphere receded to relief. “Well,” The Doctor said, drawing out the word. “You know how it is. Aliens, monsters–”
Alfred huffed. “Time travel.”
The Doctor's eyes sparkled. “Time travel,” he agreed. “Now, come along, Alfred! We've got two Ponds and a Song to save!”
Alfred laughed.
“Well, I'm obviously coming with you,” Tim said.
The Doctor and Alfred turned to stare at him, the latter looking more amused than concerned.
“What?” Tim said. “You can't tell me not to go! You're the Doctor!” He turned to Alfred. “He's the Doctor! Do you know how many theories and conspiracies I could validate?”
“Well, then,” Damian blustered. “I'm going to come as well. I cannot let Pennyworth leave with a suspicious old man.”
“Oi,” The Doctor protested. “I'll have you know this face is pretty young.”
Damian raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”
Jason started to laugh. “Oh, I ain't missing this,” He said, looking between Damian and the Doctor.” He nodded at Alfred. “Besides, I agree with the Demon. Can't leave you with a dude you barely know.”
“Seems to me he's actually known Alfred longer than we have,” Dick pointed out.
“Oh shut up,” Jason said. “Let me rest in my delusions.”
Cass hummed. “I will go,” She said. “Save people.”
Dick nodded. “Can't say no to that,” He agreed.
The Doctor stared at them all, finally having cycled through the stages of resignation to land at mildly amused. “Never had American tagalongs,” He said happily. “But first time for everything!”
Alfred sighed. “Loath be I to enable such behavior,” He said. “But I cannot say they won't be helpful.”
“Fantastic!” The Doctor said. “Shall we, then?”
Alfred shook his head but nodded, and was the first to step into the blue box.
Damian hesitated. “Will this really fit us all?” He asked.
Tim grinned widely and rushed forward. “I don't know but I'm getting my spot!”
Cass had already disappeared inside.
And as the sounds of exclamations and “Bigger-on-the-inside!” came floating out, the Doctor just smiled, sadly and softly, and murmured to himself, “One last time.”
A few minutes later, The Wayne Mansion:
Bruce, yawning and rubbing his eyes, finally left the cave, where he'd been completing the last bit of work despite Alfred's annoyed glare, and headed to the kitchen, where the butler had been trying to drag him to since he'd awoken for breakfast. “I know–” He started, only to stop because that very room was strangely, confusedly empty. “... What?”