Chapter Text
“We’re lost,” the Captain says, a slight note of panic starting to creep into his voice. Which… isn’t really warranted, not yet at least, Wild doesn’t think. Sure, they’ve been wandering in a giant circle (Time says he recognizes that tree from yesterday?) for a while now. Sure, they’re out of potions and the gauze around Wind’s arm keeps soaking through. And yeah, Wild himself has no idea where they are, but it’s not like they’re in some kind of wasteland—sorry, Rulie.
It’s a totally normal forrest. Bears, deer, squirrels, random bokoblins just for fun. The typical forest fare.
And yeah, the fog isn’t helping, but it’s not like… it’s not like they’re fucked, is what Wild means. They’re going to figure this out. They are.
…eventually.
“It’s not that bad,” Hyrule starts, Wild nodding along with him. “Like, this one time, I got lost in these creepy woods where I would walk east and end up west of where I started, and there was all this mist, and—”
“Oh for the love of Malon,” Time sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“—there were monsters everywhere and I got sick when I tried to eat the tree bark, and I really didn’t want to have to eat my own belt. I like my belt, you know?”
Sky has stopped walking and is now just staring at Hyrule like he’s grown another head.
“Uhuh,” Twilight starts, voice faint.
“But luckily I managed to get back to where I started from before that became a real problem. Point is, that was lost. This is nothing! This is…”
“Turned around a bit?” Wild offers.
“Exactly!” Rulie grins. “Simple as keese!”
There’s a moment’s quiet as the rest of the group just stares at Hyrule the way that they do sometimes. That sad, reserved pity that makes Wild want to grab them all by the tunic collars and shake.
“Thank you for sharing, Traveler,” Four says, with the exact right amount of sincerity, and the tension starts easing off.
“We passed that tree three days ago,” Time politely informs them all, as if that isn’t the exact opposite of a helpful statement.
“Fuck this.”
“Legend, watch your language,” Wars doesn’t even sound annoyed anymore. He just sounds tired.
“Nope. Fuck it. Fuck it with an octorok’s pot-shot right up the fucking ass.”
“Legend!”
“I’m asking for directions.”
“...what.” Wild manages, spinning in a slow circle. “From who?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Legend says very helpfully, and then walks off into the trees.
One beat. Two.
“So we’re following him?” Wild asks, and Hyrule nods back solemnly.
The pair of them dart into the undergrowth on Legend’s heels, only the sound of Time’s sharp call of “Boys!” following in their wake.
Rulie giggles as they slow, dropping from a run to a brisk hiking pace. They don’t want to go crashing straight into the vet, don’t want him to hear them coming. If Legend wanted to go off and ‘ask for directions’ on his own, then he might not appreciate being followed.
Wild pauses mid step as that particular thought runs its course. “Hey, Rulie…”
“Up there,” Hyrule hisses before Wild can figure out how to phrase ‘maybe we shouldn’t be violating Legend’s privacy like this’ in a way that didn’t make them both seem like total assholes, pointing between two rather large bushes.
And the thing is, Wild may not be rude, but he is nosy— terribly, painfully nosy—about literally every single thing he comes across, and he knows that Hyrule is too, because it’s a Link thing, right?
So if he was in their position, Legend would do the exact same thing. Right? Right.
Mind made up, Wild bends his knees and leans more into Rulie’s personal space, peering through the conveniently placed gap in the bush’s foliage.
“I know, I know,” Legend is saying, “utterly hopeless.”
There isn’t anyone else there. What the fuck is going on?
“A mudslide? Was anyone hurt?”
Is he talking to the tree? Wild frowns. That’s more of a Time move to pull than a Legend one. But still, there the vet is, staring directly at a tree and holding a one-sided conversation.
“Okay, east to the big oak, then north… I’ll see the human town from the hill? Okay,” relief cuts sharp into Legend’s voice. “Thank you.”
It can’t be the tree, can it? Wild risks standing back to his full height, peering over the top of the bush. Just in time to see a blur of brown leap from the trunk of the tree onto Legend’s hastily extended arm.
The squirrel chitters, high and excited, and Legend lets out a put-upon groan. The same one he makes right before doing something he doesn’t actually mind but wants to complain about. Like the mending, or talking to a shop keeper. Legend is making the ‘fine, if I must’ sound… to a squirrel.
Wild blinks, frozen in stupefied shock for a moment, then shrugs it off. This might as well happen, actually. It was only a matter of time before one of them fully cracked.
(His money was on Wars, though. Pity.)
“Hey, Wild!” Legend barks, and both the champion and Rulie jump like startled tektites. “Why don’t you get our new friend some of those acorns I know that you have in your bag?”
“Acorns,” Wild repeats back the only part of that sentence that made sense.
Legend shoots him with a completely blank look “You know what acorns are, I have seen your Slate.”
“When the hell did you look at my Slate? “
Again with the blank expression. The one that means Legend is barely restraining himself from insulting him.
Because he’s… questioning the request to feed a squirrel. A squirrel that Legend got directions from.
Honestly, life as a Hero is already so damned weird.
Wild taps at the Slate on his hip and pulls out ten acorns. Legend snatches them, and the squirrel starts plucking them out of his hand with eager enthusiasm. Rulie giggles from behind him clearly finding the situation to be amusing. Which it is. It is also confusing.
“Don’t tell anybody about this,” Legend says suddenly, sharp.
“Why not?” Hyrule asks, looking genuinely confused.
Legend shoots the pair of them with another unimpressed glare. “Because I don’t want to have to hear the captain calling me some kind of… of princess or something just because I have an ability I don’t want to talk about.”
“Wait, wait… The squirrel is not magic?”
“Wild… Why was your first thought a magic squirrel?”
“Oh yes, because ‘my brother can just talk to squirrels’ is a totally normal thought that I should’ve had first, you were totally right, my bad.”
It was the words, maybe, or the uncharacteristically monotone delivery, but either way Wild’s little speech catches Legend off guard. The vet lets out a genuine peel of laughter which shakes his frame making the squirrel jump off with it with only about half of the acorns shoved into its cheeks.
“So…” Hyrule says, “we have directions?”
“We do.”
Wild decides that the rest of the situation doesn’t matter. They have directions. They are going to get unlost!
“So is it just squirrels?” Hyrule asks, bright and oblivious to the building frustration in Legend’s eyes. “Or can you also do bunnies?”
“I’m not doing this today,” Legend announces, then waves at the squirrel—the same squirrel—in a branch high above their heads now. “Thank you again!”
Clearly seeing the matter to be settled, the vet stomps off back the way they came, Wild and Rulie quick to scramble after him.