Chapter Text
Sherlock Holmes wants sex. Sex with John Watson and he is tired of waiting.
I am Sherlock Holmes, observing others is the core of my detective work. I know John is interested. He has masturbated to thoughts of me on several occasions, the guilty looks after showers and morning risings being obvious signs.
I have tried giving signals of my interest. Blatant signals. But, John always writes them off as eccentricities, something “Sherlockian”. No matter how eccentric one may be there is a limit to how many days someone can wander around in a sheet eating bananas.
The women have been easy enough to scare off. The lure of a case, a well-timed insult, or occasionally joining John on a date are generally sufficient. But, there is always the concern that someday one of them will be insistent enough to stick it out. That some woman may last long enough for John to decide to move out is unacceptable.
The largest obstacle is John H. “Three Continents, Not Gay” Watson. With the “Three Continents” moniker, the possibility of him having some form of sexual experience with another man cannot be completely ruled out however much John might proclaim his Not Gayness. He is certainly not homophobic and is readily accepting of long term same sex relationships. The barrier is getting John to overcome his “I’m Not Gay” issues. So there needs to be some psychology involved to help him face his feeble objections.
The possibilities for getting John in bed (or desk or couch or sitting room door, yes, definitely sitting room door) are numerous. The possibilities for getting John in bed, or elsewhere, and still be friends, or preferably more (please god more), with him afterward are significantly shorter.
The simplest option is to get him intoxicated. Extremely intoxicated. John is significantly more tactile after a long evening down at the pub. It would be easy enough to get John from cuddly to amazing sex in a short amount of time. The issue then would be his claim that it’s one of those things that happens when you’re drunk and doesn’t actually count or mean anything. Unacceptable.
It is tremendously simple to drug John. Administering something to help him forget the next 24 hours with the side effect of being highly suggestive along with some very forward offers would be successful. But, it limits the options for activities, can’t leave marks or unexplained pains, and if John doesn’t remember it there is no advantage.
Using the adrenaline fueled return home after a case will certainly work. There have been many times we are on the verge of something happening just for John to pull away at the last minute. Being quicker or more forceful on my part would work but, that most likely leads back to the same issue as alcohol. It was only the heat of the moment, just an adrenaline fueled crazy occurrence that doesn’t actually matter. Plus the fallout of this scenario may lead to John no longer assisting on cases. More than simply unacceptable.
Some claim of necessity for a case is rather a long shot but, after some persistence, I might win him over. However, the options would be limited and the awareness that after the imaginary case is solved there would be no more need for such activity. Return to the ‘It doesn’t really count’ argument.
Perhaps I could join him on one of his pub night outings and casually flirt with other customers. It could provide the idea that I am open to the possibility of a relationship plus answer the question once and for all as to whether I am homosexual. No, it would create far too much suspicion as to motives and he would likely attribute it to the research of social behavior. Although it would be an interesting study of viable techniques and reactions which would be beneficial in future cases. Best not to involve John is this line of inquiry.
Another alternative is to create jealousy. A rival so to speak. John is always protective of me and I could create a situation which would tap into his protective nature. However, John Watson is a selfless man, a man who is nurturing and caring as well as protective. The likelihood of him suppressing his jealousy so that I can be happy is too great a risk. Also, if he were to ever find out about the deception there would be anger that will affect our current relationship as well as destroying the possibility of a romantic relationship.
There is the option to follow one of those ridiculous overly romantic movies that John takes his dates to. Flowers, candy, small gifts but, John is not a materialistic man and a sudden barrage of gifts is more likely to arouse suspicion instead of nurturing a romantic interest. Although the idea of manufacturing events to cause him to think of me often in a day is a good step. But, I have found texting him frequently tends to create a negative reaction, possibility but needs more thought.
While the standard advice is to simply talk to him, there is too large a possibility of rejection. Being upfront and obvious could scare John away at this point. He needs to be eased into the idea of a romantic relationship with another man. Namely me.
It was surprising that the success was due to a combination of all possible options.