Work Text:
1.
Buck does cute things, and he doesn’t know if anyone else has noticed, but Eddie has and it’s driving him insane. He feels insane watching him. They’re habits, ingrained into the man’s brain so deeply that he doesn’t even think that Buck himself realizes he’s doing it.
It starts in his kitchen, because Buck is cooking for them. He can still hear Christopher’s jokingly wide smile when he told him that Buck had to cook for them or they’d starve. But that was a couple of years ago and now the man does, cooks for them all of the time and yeah it’s nice, to eat well and know it’s made with care and love because Buck radiates it out of his body like the sun and Eddie suddenly feels the need to see if he hits his head against the door frame hard enough he’ll forget he heard Buck talking to himself.
He’s peeling garlic, not even aware of Eddie in the room yet, humming to himself when Eddie hears it, “Let me take your coat, please.” To the garlic.
And Eddie, Eddie wants to coo at him because the man giggles softly and it’s not a chuckle. Eddie knows the difference, Buck giggled and Eddie suddenly wants to hear it again.
Mostly because he moves on from it as if he does it all of the time and a memory of small joys returns to him. A short conversation that they never revisited because they never revisit them do they?
But it had been about his therapy, an appointment with Dr. Copeland. That she had told Buck to focus on the small joys in life, little things that make him happy. Make life feel brighter in small ways. He wonders if the comment was one of those moments or if he’s been doing it this entire time and Eddie just didn’t notice.
Recently though, he’s been noticing a lot of things about Buck. The way his hair curls, shines off the light above him. How his back flexes when he moves his arm to finish chopping the garlic. How it would look pressed against his mattress.
But he shakes his head, he notices other things. How good the other man is, how utterly adorable he can be without even trying.
“Can you hold this?” Buck asks and Eddie almost steps forward but it’s a quick realization that Buck just spoke to the counter as he sits the knife down.
And Eddie thinks he might melt to the floor as he steps forward, as if he just walked into the room. “Something smells good.” Stating it as he leans on the island and bright blue eyes widen and a big grin forms on his friends face, he knows he’s gone.
2.
Eddie thinks about Buck a lot. He’s become one of his first thoughts in the morning, even when he’s not in Eddie's house. Especially when he is. Whether or not he can hear distant snoring or the sounds of Christopher’s laughter so early, the smell of breakfast entering his senses as he wakes up. It’s nice, it gives Eddie the feeling of family and he hopes that it makes Buck feel the same way.
But the way he acts around Christopher is what Eddie has been noticing. The little things that he does to make his son smile, or important, any of it. Buck does it as if it’s nothing out of his routine. And he hears them now, awake and talking quieter than he expected. Bacon sizzling on the stove.
“Bucky? Can I see your phone?” His son asks and Buck hums in a way that sounds curious.
“Course, what for?” The sound of a phone clattering against the table a low noise around all of the rest.
“To check on the penguins!” He sounds so excited and Buck laughs just as joyfully as his son's words.
“Open the weather app first, check on the wild penguins before the zoo ones, make sure they’re cold enough.” Bucks happiness reflects as Eddie gets dressed, he suddenly wants to see what they’re exactly doing, wants to be a part of it this morning.
“-36!” Chris shouts as the clatter of plates hits the table and Eddie moves faster. Not wanting to miss what Buck has made for breakfast, and he’s walking out into the kitchen pulling a shirt over his head as he walks and when it’s on his eyes connect with Bucks own.
“What’s -36?” Eddie asks, grin on his face as he slides by Buck, fingers sliding across Bucks lower back as he goes to grab silverware and paper towels.
“Antarctica.” Buck helpfully supplies as he grabs the juice, moving around each other seemlessly.
“To check on the penguins!” Chris smiles up at Eddie when he returns to the table, and he can’t help but mess up his kids hair a little, chuckling at the grumble he gets for it.
“The penguins?” Eddie asks Buck, eyebrow raised as he looks at the other man plating bacon and pancakes that look delicious. Buck ducks his head a little, bashful. Eddie wants to bite his cheek.
“Mhmm, I have Antarctica in my weather app so Chris can make sure the penguins are cold enough.”
“And the zoo camera!” Chris adds excitedly, unaware of Eddie’s inner thoughts on the subject as he turns Bucks phone around to show him the penguins first thing this morning.
He wishes he was better at reacting to things, but he sits at the table staring at the penguins in their habitat, “You’ve got all this on your phone so Chris can check on the penguins?”
Buck looks shy, “Not just Chris.” Still smiling, face red though and Eddie wants to tell him his feelings, he wishes he was brave, but he’s not and he doesn’t want to ruin this moment.
“You’re something else you know that?” Eddie states, grabbing the syrup with a smile and a shaking head.
Bucks blush is answer enough as he eats.
Then when they’re done eating, he hears Buck tells the dishes it’s bath time and definitely doesn’t let him do that one by himself. Even if it’s adorable.
3.
The next time it happens and Eddie is there to witness it is when they’re at Bucks loft. Chris is spending the night with Abuela. Usually they’d be at Eddies, and they should be at Eddies but Buck is frantically looking around his apartment when he strides in the door.
He strides in because Buck never texted him he was on his way and was late and Buck is never late. He’s in fact usually early and Eddie always has to shower earlier, he wants to smell nice for his friend, it’s fine. Eddie has everything under control.
But then Buck hadn’t shown up and Eddie worries. He always worries about Buck, so he’d check his phones location, saw it was at the loft and drove over there to make sure he was okay.
As one does.
It’s not exactly what he expected after he uses the spare key Buck gave him to get in his loft. To see Buck flailing around, the loft is a mess and the man honestly looks like he’s been crying. It’s an unwelcome but not unusual sight to see. And if it didn’t concern Eddie so much to see him this way, he’d think about how pretty it makes him look. But that’s entirely inappropriate and something he really doesn’t want to get into right now.
“Buck, what’s going on?” Eddie asks, speaking up when it’s becoming increasingly clear that the man hasn’t even noticed his presence as he searches through his kitchen drawers.
Buck jumps out of his skin at the sound of his voice and Eddie would feel more sorry if his entire attention didn’t snap to him.
“Eddie!” Buck exclaims and immediately looks worse, face crumpling, “Oh my god am I late? I’m sorry, god, I think I’m losing it, I can’t find it anywhere, it’s so stupid I should’ve just waited until later to do it, or tomorrow! I don’t even need it yet, not until Saturday but I figured, hey! I’ll find it real quick and then head to yours, but no! It’s gone.” And then he’s back to rifling through drawers and Eddies had enough of that.
He makes his way over to Buck, and settles a hand on his bicep, “Hey,” he starts and Buck continues to rifle and he imagines that whatever he’s looking for is not with the rags Buck keeps in that drawer, “Evan.” He insists, voice coming out a bit more low than he intended.
Buck stops again and sighs, shoulders sagging, “I can’t find it’s hat.”
What?
“I’m bringing max and cheese to the barbecue on Saturday and I wanted to use the container it fits in best and now I can’t find it’s hat Eddie.” And then pats his pants pockets, “Or my phone for that matter.”
Eddie's hand squeezes his bicep, lighter so he doesn’t give himself away. He’s referring to the lid for the container.
“Here, we’ll look together. Find the lid and then find your phone.” Eddie pats Bucks shoulder so he doesn’t do something stupid like caress his face as Buck blinks at him.
“Really?” As if Eddie wouldn’t jump out the window if Buck wanted him too.
“Yeah c'mon, let’s find the hat.” He grins and Bucks realization will keep him motivated for weeks. The look on his face makes Eddie want to kiss it away as the man swallows.
“Okay…” He nods and shuts the rag drawer, knowing that Buck will refold them all later, and they look silently for the lid, until Buck speaks up again, “Maddie used to ask fairies to find stuff we lost.” His voice is quiet and Eddie fights a smile.
They’re both that way it seems, even if Eddie doesn’t believe in fairies and he doesn’t particularly want to know if Buck or anyone else does but he is curious and makes an “oh?” Sound, questioning as he looks through Bucks Tupperware.
“Yeah,” Buck huffs a laugh, “She always found what she was looking for after she asked.”
Eddie hums, lazily looking over the cabinet he was looking in at Buck who’s standing there with a private smile on his face. Looking calmer already.
“Better ask em then or we’ll be here all night.”
The laugh that leaves Bucks mouth is gorgeous and Eddie thinks he made the right decision.
They find his phone in his bed and the hat with the pans an hour later.
And if he sees Buck texting Maddie about faires, well the smile on his face is just for himself this time.
4.
They’re at the firehouse when Eddie catches Buck bent over outside. Flipping a coin on the ground but not picking it up. He looks satisfied with himself as he stands back up straight next to Hen.
“What was that Buckaroo?” Hen asks, looking just as confused as Eddie is feeling in the moment and Buck shrugs.
“Pennies are lucky heads up right?” He gestures to what Eddie now knows is a penny on the ground, “Now it’s face up and someone else can have the luck from it.” And Hen laughs, patting him on the back and then they’re walking off to the truck that’s outside. Restocking supplies while they’ve got some free time today.
Eddie makes his way over to where the penny lays and looks at it. Face up right there on the ground and Eddie's chest feels tight. It had to have been face down before, and Buck had simply flipped it over and left it there for someone else who thinks the same way he does.
The off chance that someone might find it lucky the only reason he did it.
Eddie finds himself picking it up, running his finger over the face up value of it as he stares at something so small. Luck doesn’t exist, it just doesn’t. Life is life.
But Eddie pockets it anyway, and ignores the look Hen gives him from one of the truck windows.
He feels like he’s carrying Buck with him.
And that’s worth the teasing looks Hen is definitely going to be giving him for the rest of the shift.
5.
Eddies rubbing that same penny in his hand as he stands outside Bucks loft door. He’s not actually meant to be here, they don’t have plans tonight but.. he wants to see him. It’s raining, and ever since the lightning strike, the rain makes Eddie's head feel a little fuzzy around the edges. The gripping fear he and Frank talk about quite often making a comeback when he isn’t ready for it.
And Buck doesn’t talk about it a lot, but Eddie knows that Buck used to really enjoy the rain. It used to help him sleep when he felt restless. Timing the thunder and knowing when the next time it happened. Buck thought storms were beautiful and well, Eddie thinks Buck is beautiful so this is important.
He doesn’t want Buck to feel alone in the storm. Eddie knows they make him uneasy now. The nights of late night phone calls. Nightmares or panic attacks he never showed anyone but Eddie. The fact that he died in a storm.
It’s not something that just goes away.
So here Eddie is, standing at Buck's door with take out, and a drink he knows Buck likes and knocking like he hasn’t really done in years.
It doesn’t take long for the door to open and blue eyes meet his own, widening in surprise but his voice is soft, “hey, what’re you doing here?” He asks, opening the door wider and Eddie just smiles at him and comes in, setting the take out and the drink down on the island.
“Just wanted to hang out.” Eddie shrugs and Buck gives him a look, one without words to tell him that he knows. Eddie isn’t very sly, and even he knows that but Buck doesn’t comment on it and for that Eddie appreciates.
Then Eddie hears it. The soft playing of a vinyl, a record player somewhere in the loft. The music is low, barely heard over the rain outside but it’s there. And there’s no words, only sound that compliments the storm.
And the smell of the loft is different. It smells like… flowery. Eddie looks around while Buck looks into the take out bag and starts pulling stuff out and then he sees it there; on the side table where Buck must’ve been sitting is a purple candle.
Lilies printed on the front of it. Lit and a little melted already, and Eddie realizes that it’s the only other light in the apartment besides the lamp Buck has set next to a table that wasn’t here the last time he was. And there the record player sits, right by the window, playing its soft melody.
There’s a book sitting in the chair, over a blanket.
Eddie almost feels like crying.
He’s.. Bucks enjoying the rain.
Experiencing it softly, and it must be something he learned over time. Researched like he does.
“Gonna eat or just stand there?” Bucks voice interrupts his thoughts.
Eddie shakes himself, “looks like a comfy night.” And Buck smiles.
“Yeah! I found the record player in a thrift store the other day and couldn’t pass it up. It came with all these records, so I’ve been working through them.” He hums with the tune circling the apartment.
“It’s nice.” Eddie decides to say, because he doesn’t have many other words and takes a bite of his food to not make a fool of himself. And it doesn’t seem like Buck notices because he only brightens.
Isn’t it? I’ve decided that when it rains, I try and do other things and it worked for a while really.” He waves his hands as he speaks, “But something felt like it was missing and then bam, record player.” He looks so pleased, so happy.
“Wanna dance?” Eddie asks, before he swallows his tongue and Buck falters a little, the fork on his hand before he’s blinking at Eddie.
“Now?”
And Eddie is the one swallowing now but he nods, “Yeah, can’t let the record player have fun all by itself.”
Buck beams.
“Yeah, let’s dance.”
Foods forgotten and going to be cold when they’re done but he gets to hold Buck and laugh with him. Slow to the soft tune and when lightning strikes, Eddie barely even notices it over the sound of music, and Bucks laughter as they sway close.
He’s got to tell him how he feels. He doesn’t want to hide it anymore, because none of this feels like friendship to him. They’re on the way to something more, as Bucks fingers grace the short hairs on the back of his head, and Eddie wants to be the one to be brave.
+1.
Eddie is sitting on his back patio when he sees the snail there. There’s more than one but Chris is looking at them as close as he can get and Eddie suddenly has the urge to do something so out of his own depth that he stumbles when he stands up.
“Dad?” He hears as he goes in the house and he’s back out before he has to even answer his son. Paints from a project Chris and Buck had done together a few weeks ago and sits them down next to his son, who is looking at him confused. But he looks so much like Buck in that moment that Eddie doesn’t regret what he’s about to do.
“Want to paint the snails?” He asks, a little unsure with his thoughts as he hears his front door open, but focuses on his son instead.
“Yeah! What for?” Chris excitedly asks and Eddie does smile now.
“So we know when they come back and visit us.” Eddie murmurs and Chris gasps happily and grabs the paints as Bucks familiar footsteps join them outside.
“Bucky!” Chris yells, making Eddie reflexively move his ear away from the loud noise, “We’re painting snails!” And Eddie feels the tips of his ears go red with it.
“Hey!” Buck is just as happy today apparently, “Painting snails, that’s exciting.” Accepting and wonderful, just the way he is.
“Right! Dad said it’s so we know when they come visit again, isn’t that so cool!” And Chris is painting a snail shell, and only on the snail shell. A mix of colors that look like the snail has been tie dyed.
When Eddie looks up, Buck is looking at him softly and it doesn’t help the flush on his face. “Really?” He asks, and Eddie nods, unable to properly explain himself.
“We obviously don’t want to think we forgot who they were do you?” Eddie gets out, trying to be normal about what he’s doing but Buck gasps.
“Obviously.” He sounds a little breathless, terrible at pretending he isn’t affected. Eddie could see it in his face anyways, wearing all those emotions on his sleeve. His eyes are wide, blue watery and his face is red. “Now who’s something else.” He adds, it makes Eddie laugh softly.
“Still you.” He murmurs as he picks up the paint, “Now paint a snail so you know when they’re visiting our family again too.”
Buck inhales shakily, “Yeah okay.”
Our family.
It’s no wonder he kisses him right there, in front of some damn snails with paint on them. After the sun sets a little and the snails obviously don’t care what they’re trying to do. He kisses Buck, while Chris is following the snails that have gotten far enough away from them, leaving the deck.
His lips are soft, but a little chapped and Eddie feels more settled than he has in months while they move together. Deepening enough but still light and it feels like a first hello.
When they part, Buck is more flushed than ever, as if the sun burnt his skin, “Oh..” he exhales, a breathless smile overcoming his face.
“Yeah, oh.” Eddie grins
“I can’t believe you kissed me in front of the baby snails.” Buck jokes softly and Eddie barks a laugh.
“I can’t wait to do it again.” And Buck's expression softens. Eddie pecks his mouth because he can and will do it again. “And again.”
Making Buck laugh happily and he’s adorable, inside and out and Eddie can’t wait to know all of those quirks.
Even if he’s going to get made fun of for years for kissing Buck in front of snails.
But Buck loves it, so of course, Eddie thinks it’s perfect.