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Christopher Diaz has had it.
“Yeah. See you, Dad,” he says as plainly as he can before quickly turning the FaceTime call off in case he screams and yells.
Because he really fucking wants to.
But he knows his grandma is going to have so many words for him if he does that, so he takes the deep breaths that Abuelo taught him to keep it under control.
In 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
In 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Yeah, no. He still wants to scream.
Because really Dad?
Fucking really?
His dad’s words ring through his head. ‘I have this place set up. You can come by anytime you want to spend the night.’
El Paso.
His dad wants to move here to El Paso.
No scratch that.
His dad has already moved to El Paso.
What about their life in L.A.? What about Pepa? Carla? Harry and Denny? Bobby and Athena? Hen and Chim?
What about Buck?
He’s seething, tears clouding his vision.
He hates his dad. Absolutely hates him.
Because, once again, his dad is the one making all the decisions without asking for his input.
Oh? You had a nightmare about me dying? I’ll quit the firehouse then.
Oh? There’s someone who looks just like your dead mother. I’m going to date her behind your back.
Like, what the fuck, Dad?!
Yes, he had a nightmare about his dad dying. But who wouldn’t after their dad got shot and almost died? But that didn’t mean he wanted his dad to quit. He wanted his dad to continue being a hero and saving people, not behind some computer screen. He wanted his dad and Buck to come home together, exhausted but always willing to indulge him with stories and home-cooked food.
And the thing with fake mom? Yeah. That’s a no-brainer. That was just stupid because she’s obviously not his mom. It took him by complete surprise though, and he couldn’t help but hate his dad for bringing that woman into their life.
He couldn’t help but hate his dad for even giving him a second of hope that his mom was back.
Because he still misses her. So badly.
But he knows she’s dead and never coming back.
So seeing that woman with his dad?
Yeah, he hated his dad at that moment and the moments after. But it’s gotten better. He was actually starting to really miss his dad and hoping everyday that his dad would come pick him up.
But now?
Nope. He hates him all over again.
Because he doesn’t want to stay here. Having Bisabuela around is great. His cousins and new friends are great. His tias are great. The food is pretty good. Grandpa is okay. But grandma? Yeah, no.
But did his dad ever ask Christopher what he wanted?
No.
And he’s sure he’s never said anything about staying here either.
So what if he asked his dad to send that autograph over to hang in his room here? That’s to impress his friends that come over. And, yeah, he has new clubs and new friends now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t join similar clubs at home and his friends in L.A. are still his friends.
So where did his dad get the bright idea of moving to El Paso?
And why the fuck did Buck not stop him?
Adults. They’re all stupid.
But one thing’s for sure.
He can’t stay here.
His dad wants to move here so badly? Fine. He can move here himself. Chris is going back to L.A. and hunkering down with someone.
So he packs a bag real quick and scouts out the one person who is in the house right now and he can get to help him.
Tía Sophia.
It's not the best idea, considering Tía Sophia is the more goody-to-shoes of his tías, but it's the best option he has after Bisabuela and Tía Adriana.
He knows his grandma is cooking, so he makes his way to the living room, trying to be as silent as he can as he makes his way over to the couch to sit next to his tia.
“Tía Sophia,” he says, keeping an eye in the direction of the kitchen. “I want to go back to L.A.”
He doesn’t mention that his dad is in town already, praying that his tía doesn’t know. It’s 50/50, but he likes his chances.
“Oh. Sure. We can talk to your gran-”
“Now.”
Before Dad comes over tomorrow and brings me to the new house.
“But Christo-”
“And don’t tell Grandma. Or Abuelo. Or Dad.”
His tía gives him a confused look, glancing over at the kitchen before back at Christopher. “Can you at least tell me why, Christopher?”
“I don’t like it here. Grandma’s…”
A lot, he doesn’t say but he’s sure his tía sees it.
He should probably say both of his grandparents are a lot because it’s not like his abuelo is perfect either. He also thinks Chris should stay indoors and play (something he doesn’t have a problem with considering the heat), but Grandma? Grandma is a whole lot worse than abuelo, taking a lot of choices away from him, always badgering him about this or that, or just being annoying in general. Tia Sophia must understand.
“Christopher-”
“Please.”
He just has to get out of here. Has to get out of this suffocating place. Has to leave before Dad makes him stay. Has to leave so he doesn’t have to see his dad.
And something must have been showing on his face because Tía Sophia nods even as she heaves out the greatest sigh Christopher has ever heard.
=======================================================
There's an issue.
A fucking big one.
So…he’s back. Tía Sophia got him the ticket and through security, he got on the plane, and now he’s back.
But where does he go from here?
He could go home, but, having to face Dad sooner or later aside, was home even home now?
Probably not. Considering Dad moved into a house, he's sure their home has been sold, the thought making him want to scream all over again
And Buck…Buck was the one who let Dad leave in the first place. Besides, he had a boyfriend last time he checked, so he probably doesn't have time for Chris.
He fucking hates everything.
So where does he go? Call Denny and get his address? Call Harry and get his address?
There might be problems with their parents though. Maybe.
Would they hear about Christopher's grand escape and make him go back? They can't right?
But they can call Dad back right now and that's a no-go.
Buck wouldn't betray him like that.
Maybe.
Wait.
Speaking of Buck…
=====================================================
Luck just happens to be on his side today because Maddie is at work when he arrives at the call center.
“Christopher?!” the sister of his adult best friend says as soon as she sees him in the break room. “What- Why are you here? Your dad-”
“I know,” he huffs, uncaring about whether he's rude or not because apparently everyone fucking knew! Except him! “He decided to move to El Paso.”
A look of confused understanding passes over the woman's face, and she sits down beside him, not too close but also not too far. “You didn't know.”
“Yeah.”
Obviously, he doesn’t say, but she probably saw through it anyway.
But she's patient, gently asking, “Do you want me to get Buck?” without commenting on his behavior.
He shakes his head though. In the time it took him to get from the airport to the call center, he did come to the conclusion that he would like to stay with Buck regardless of how the man had let his dad move to El Paso. Buck has always made things better. Even if he'll sell Chris out to his dad, he won't force Chris to go with his dad.
But there's the ‘Buck's boyfriend’ situation.
The same stupid situation that made him call his grandparents in the first place.
(Partially at least. He was pretty mad and thought it would hurt his dad if he called his grandparents.)
“What do you want to do then?” Maddie asks, still in the patient tone that somehow irks him.
He doesn't fucking know, okay? He doesn't know what he wants to do!
“Or maybe I should ask: what do you want?”
He eyes her suspiciously, his annoyance simmering down in the face of the oddity of Maddie asking him the same question. “Is there a difference?”
“There could be.” She makes an aborted motion like she wants to run a hand through his hair but aborts it midway. Instead, she sighs. “All I wanted as a girl was for my parents to be good parents. But nothing I wanted to do could make that happen. There were too many other factors that made it impossible. So I guess my point is that what you want to do is limited by reality. What you want is limitless.”
Christopher nods. That…makes sense.
So he thinks. What does he want?
“I want Dad to stop doing things for me,” he says after a moment.
“Yeah, I don't know if that's possible. Parents - at least most parents - live for their kids. They'd do anything for their kids. And your dad is willing to do more than most. He's a good dad, and I think you know that.”
And he does know. He knows his dad will do everything for him. His dad left L.A. just to be closer to him.
But he doesn’t feel like he knows right now.
“He never asks. He just assumes. And he…he doesn't do anything. Denny’s mom fought for his sister, and Dad just…goes along with what he thinks I want. But I hate it. Maybe if he stops and does things for himself, we’ll finally be happy.”
“Are you not now? Happy?”
He looks at her, expecting…something. A lack of understanding. Of resignation. Of an adult ready to defend a fellow adult. Of an accusation that he has it good compared to other people.
But all he sees is genuine concern and curiosity.
“I don't think so,” he admits, thinking back to when he was definitely happy.
“Have you talked to your dad about it?”
“No.”
“And why not?”
Because Christopher isn't an idiot. He surely knows what - who - makes them, especially his dad, the happiest. But he also knows his dad would never admit to having those kinds of feelings if he even has them and can identify them to begin with.
There's also still the whole ‘Buck's boyfriend' issue.
“He wouldn't listen,” Christopher grumbles, crossing his arms, peeved at the idea of telling his dad Buck is it for them and having the idea of it brushed off.
Because why couldn't it be just the three of them?!
“I think you find that he will.”
“And if he doesn't?”
“Then you get back up.”
“Yeah. Buck. Who also has a boyfriend and won't care so much anymore,” he huffs.
“Boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” he sasses, the tone naturally dripping out. Why would Buck's sister be confused about that? “You know, Tommy?”
“Oh, Buck didn't tell you,” she breathes, surprised.
“Tell me what?”
“They broke up.”
Oh. Cool.
Wait.
What?!?!?!
============================
By the time Buck gets to the call center, Chris has munched through a decent amount of the snacks available in the call center's break room, and he's putting the blame on whoever thought it was a good idea to bring in a huge batch of homemade cookies and an assortment of other pastries.
Also, he's blaming it on his grandmother because he hasn't been free to eat whatever snack he wants since he went to El Paso.
“Christopher!”
Chris barely has time to look up from his phone, cookie in his mouth, when he's spun around and his frantic adult best friend looks him over.
“Are you okay? Is everything okay?”
“I'm fine,” he grumbles halfheartedly, feeling more settled now that he has good food in his belly and Buck is here.
Because whether he's seven or fourteen, Buck has always made things better.
Usually.
He's gonna ignore the fact that Buck let his dad move to El Paso.
For now.
Instead, he gives in to his wants, falling into Buck’s half-opened arms and soaking in the warmth that only a Buck Hug could bring.
(If Christopher hugs him a little tighter than normal, Buck doesn't comment on it.)
It should be embarrassing really. He's fourteen. He shouldn't be hugging adults and clinging to them like his life depends on it.
But it's Buck.
“Missed you,” he admits softly. If Buck doesn't hear, it’s fine. He’s just really missed his Buck.
“Missed you too, buddy.”
Oh well.
He stays there for a while, finally realizing that he might be a little more tired than he thought. From when his dad called to waiting for his flight to now, it's been hours, and his grandma-enforced sleep schedule is kicking in (he's gotta do something about that).
He's tired and no amount of sugar was gonna change that.
So he pulls away, giving Buck a look that dares him to say no. “I want to stay with you.”
Buck smiles, relieved and something at the same time. “Alright. Let's go.”
============================
It takes a moment to orient himself the next morning, the months in El Paso making his first feeling one of irritation because his grandma will inevitably nag if he doesn't get up on time.
But then the smell hits him.
Pancakes.
Or, more specifically, Buck's chocolate chip pancakes.
He's home.
At least as close to it as he can get right now.
But he's home.
Yesterday felt like a dream, but it's real.
Feeling light for the first time in months, Christopher gets up, gleefully ignoring his bag and his change of clothes to make his way downstairs for breakfast.
Grandma would never let him do that.
But it's Buck.
Only then his mood drops the moment he hears Buck on the phone talking to someone who he knows is his dad.
“Yeah. He's fine. And I've got breakfast ready as soon as he wakes up.”
Buck turns just enough to give Christopher a view of the side of his face just as a soft smile slides onto his face.
The smile reserved just for Christopher's dad.
He groans in his head. Why can't these two see it?!?!?!
Soon, Buck is hanging up, turning to plate a pancake and freezing up when he sees Christopher.
“Morning, superman.”
He wrinkles his nose. “No nicknames, Buck,” he reminds his adult best friend.
“Right. Sorry, Christopher. Pancakes?”
And he might be too old for nicknames, but he's never too for pancakes, a fact he makes known as he gets into a chair and pulls a plate of the fluffy goodness towards him, skipping any sense of thanks or formality as he digs in.
Then, a glass of orange juice is set in front of him and he knows it's his favorite before he even takes a sip.
It's simple. It's nothing special.
But it's the best damn breakfast he's had in months.
He didn't even know how much he missed L.A. How much he missed the simplicity that is being around Buck.
Even though Buck will sell him out to his dad.
“Did you have to sell me out?” he asks once he’s finished, trying to not be petulant about it.
“I have to when you’re not where you’re supposed to be.”
“I am where I’m supposed to be.”
“But you didn't tell your dad that.”
“I didn't think I needed to,” he huffs. “I would have come back if he just came.”
“Would you have?”
Christopher gives Buck the stink eye. “Yes.”
Maybe.
In those early days, probably not.
Buck gives him an indulgent smile and skeptical look that he tries to hide behind a sip of coffee.
Ugh.
Stupid adults.
All of them.
Though he does wonder how Buck can read him better than his dad sometimes.
“He's coming back,” Buck tells him, face turning serious again. It's a rare look on him, so a part of Chris pays rapt attention.
The other part just wants to turn away.
Because now he's realizing that he might be in big trouble.
Really big fucking trouble.
“Is he mad at me?”
A reassuring weight appears on his neck when Buck’s hand lands there, firm and steady. “No. Never. But maybe talk to your dad. You know how he is.”
“Emotionally constipated?”
Buck snorts. “Yes. But- but I meant he will do things without telling people because he thinks it's for the better. He doesn't tend to uh…ask or talk about it first.”
Something passes across Buck's face, and Christopher has to wonder what story is behind that.
He sighs.
What stupid shit did his dad do this time?
Weirdly enough though, that question doesn't make him scared. He's not worried that whatever Dad did will drive Buck away.
Maybe that's why he wouldn't necessarily mind if they got together.
If they even feel that way about each other that is.
“Fine,” he grumbles. “I'll talk to him.”
======================
Talking to his dad in person was…weird, but nothing was broken in the process. They ended up deciding for Christopher to stay with Buck for the time being because, after his latest fiasco, Chris doesn't want to live with his dad. But they will see each other on occasion with Buck being there as well. Hopefully, that way, they can repair whatever trust was lost between them.
“I'll look after him until you're back,” Buck promises his dad at the door.
Technically, Christopher is probably not supposed to eavesdrop, but, come on, they're right there!
“I know you will,” his dad says in return. “There's no one I trust with my son more than you.”
Ugh. Stop it, Dad.
And please stop the faces you're making at each other, he pleads when Buck smiles at his dad, all…soft and pleased.
As for his dad?
His dad is making a face too.
Frowning, Christopher thinks about how to proceed because Jake's dads look at each other exactly like that.
But it's his dad. And Buck.
Emotionally constipated. Repressed. Oblivious.
He sighs. He's gonna have to do this himself, isn't he?
But it should be worth i,t right? No matter how much Dad screws up, there's no way Buck would leave. Besides, maybe no one worked out because his dad wasn't happy with them.
Buck's different though. He makes his dad happy, and Christopher wants his dad to be happy.
Because if his dad is happy, they can all be happy right?
Right.
Now…how does he go about getting them together?
=======================
Maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all, he thinks weeks later.
They're so gross.
Like the sappy, sweet, way too much sort of gross.
His dad is happy though, which is a good thing. And Buck is around way more often which is also a good thing.
He just wishes they wouldn't kiss in front of him.
Just ew.