Chapter Text
Look into the mirror,
Caress the frame and see a clearer,
Image reflected back,
Be phased upon seeing that crack,
Splintered to hide the no-face,
Shapeless form standing, not-staring,
not-meeting the daring,
Person taking a peek,
Child, do not play hide and seek,
With something that is,
Right there”, t’is,
Not hard to see what is so clearly shown,
Simply ignore the way your heart drops like a stone,
Throat constricting the lack of air with nary a groan,
Just look into the mirror,
And accept that the true visage drawing nearer,
Is not that which y o u r eyes say:
But o u r s, little prey
~~~~~~~
There are a lot of small sounds to be heard: for those who take the chance to simply listen. Even in the stale air of a classroom, where the sound of keys being tapped in a frenzied haze is loud in the stillness, there are always others. The faint sounds of breathing, of rustling fabrics, or that of rain as it hits the ground outside.
Izuku liked the rain. It was a calming, and steady constant during this time of year. An easy focus, when everything else seemed to overwhelm him.
Ever since middle school started, it seemed the slippery slope had merely gotten steeper.
It sucked.
Loneliness hugged his frame in its embrace constantly, yet it was not a comforting touch nor presence.
It was cold.
On the written examination they were working on, he was right now on the essay portion. With the prompt to write what one’s life would be like in 15 years.
He would be 30 years old then.
Strange, that this specifically is what had him clenching his fist, focusing on the rain outside, and counting seconds silently in his head: to stop the burn in his eyes from becoming anything else.
Rather than any of the other things that had happened that day:
A note in a locker filled with words describing a scene with him in it, that made him shiver with a crawling disgust, with a creeping fear. Bruises blossoming from shoulder checks in halls and the whispers of insults and other things said behind his back.
Or, the very different note he also received.
Delivered with a single red flower, the colour of blood. He’d found it on his desk that morning, heart dropping in his chest, despite the fact it was far from the first.
But no, it was this that made his throat suddenly constrict, air not as easy to inhale nor exhale as a mere moment ago.
Because he didn’t know what he imagined in fifteen years.
Sure, he had a dream, a childish one. A dream of saving lives.
If he could find a way into a high school that would accept him, that was.
But he knew no one expected that’s where he would end up. They thought something very different about his future.
Some people thought, or maybe more so hoped, he would not make it through those 15 years. But they were a small minority, he knew that much by now, in spite of the environment in Aldera.
No, in Izuku’s opinion, what others expected, was almost worse. Sometimes he thought being left with no other option than that, made him more sick than anything else.
A quirkles, male, omega; The visage of the perfect househusband. His role would be to be a happy, cheerful, loving and caring husband: yet be wholly and completely cared for by his partner.
To listen obediently and keep a shut mouth.
To raise their children with that sweet and gentle nature omegas always had.
But even thinking about it, made a pit open in his stomach. A sinking feeling in his chest that made it hard to breathe.
That sensation of bugs crawling all over skin, incessant in the grip it held over him. Many legged things covering every inch of his body, it left him feeling
-exposed, disgusted.
He hated it.
He did not want that.
Didn’t want the empty days of cleaning and caring and loving. At a house that wouldn’t be a home.
Didn’t want to bear and care for the kids of his of such a partner, in such a place. Izuku wanted to be a person beyond those three deceptively simple words.
When he’d been 13, his mom had taken in a cat named Daisy that was having kittens. It was a former coworker’s, who was working too much to care for a litter.
So his mom had offered, just until they were sold, to have Daisy and her kittens for the few months it took.
-That coworker to this day refused the money whenever they ate at her diner, simply waved them in with a smile and an order already memorised.-
He had loved it.
Honestly.
Daisy was the sweetest creature he had ever met, very reserved in the beginning, but after warming up to him always purring whenever he was near.
And the kittens when they arrived, were a lot of work; Small little fluffballs with boundless energy.
- “Awe Izuku, you take such good care of them, I just know you’re going to make such an amazing mom in the future, some lucky pups they’ll be.”-
He still remembered that line, the love clear in Inko’s voice as she’d said it. But it was with those words ringing in his ears, that he’d declined when asked if he wanted to keep one of the kittens afterwards;
He didn’t want to hear anything like it again.
It didn’t work though.
He wondered if anything ever would.
He didn’t want kids at all. Hated the thought of it. Hated the idea of carrying to term. Hated the idea of anyone even touching him in such a way as to make it happen. He didn’t know what was wrong with him to have such thoughts.
And so, they were buried.
With a last put out sigh, Izuku handed in the assignment blank.
It was fine, his other grades would be more than enough to make up for it.
As he stepped out of the classroom, one of the first to leave-
-Izuku silently wondered to himself, if he’d even still be there in 15 years.
-
Just like in another world, one very different to this, yet still sharing many similarities, he was six when he found out he was quirkless. And it went on in the same manner.
A doctor's visit, an x-ray, a life changed forever.
An absent father that wouldn’t be coming back.
And an evening spent curled up in his mothers soft, comforting embrace.
But with an accompanying “I’m sorry” that made him cry harder than he already was.
-
He had been 8 when he found his second gender. One day, he’d woken up, still excited for school, and the world was suddenly:
M o r e.
He had always had a keen sense of smell, but that day he’d instinctively been able to scent exactly where on the other side of the apartment his mom was located.
She smelled of forest dew, after a rainy night, just like at his grandparents house in the country.
It was a comforting scent.
He always liked the rain after that day.
But at the time, it was overwhelming, just one of all the different things he was suddenly aware of, filled with knowledge of things happening all over the apartment complex.
His mom had come running when she heard him crying, and after worriedly checking him over, had quickly realised what was happening.
After that, it was two weeks off from school. Time spent at home getting used to his new senses. The realisation of newfound scents he himself was giving off.
And the start of an unfamiliar discomfort, at the behaviour of adults cooing at him in a way they hadn’t before.
That he didn’t understand yet, but quickly would.
A feeling that would develop into something much darker and overpowering than slight discomfort, as the years progressed.
-
“ It’s been over 5 decades, that omegas have been integrated into the workforce. Yet still despite this, some still find certain professions to be a danger to them. To be harmful towards them.
So today we’re answering the questions of why this is; Here today with us, we have omega rights activist Hanju Kataro and omega protection activist Kiyu Satori.”
Izuku knew he should turn it off. This type of debate always left him off kilter afterwards.
Yet still, he found he couldn’t stop, watching on with trepidation.
The screen panned to where the two people were standing on opposite sides of the interviewer, both behind podiums, waiting for the chance to speak.
“Kiyu, why don’t you start us off.” With a smile and a nod towards the other man, the host indicated for him to start.
“Yes, well to start us off, there’s biological differences between omegas and other secondary genders.”
The woman on the other side rolled her eyes in response to the statement.
“They’re meant for other roles, important ones for society as a whole; it is no secret that the environment any omega thrives best in is at home with pups. Biologically they’re just predisposed to suit this environment, it’s what fulfills omegas more than anything else.”
“Oh? Can you source a study for this?” Hanju interrupted with a syrupy sweet smile on her lips.
“Because there’s no-“
“Now, now, don’t interrupt, it will be your turn eventually.” The host cut her off, and motioned to the other man to continue.
“..Right, as I was saying, this is common sense . But, I understand because of the way our society is structured, omegas are forced out into the work-force. Whether by perceived choice, wherein easily manipulated omegas are pulled along with the ‘ omega rights’ movement, to act against their own biological needs and instincts. Or because of economical reasons, that unfortunately, just make a one income household unfeasible.
I understand that in today's environment it’s not as easy as it used to for omegas to live in a way that truly makes them thrive.
That said, professions like; teaching, elder care, nursing or similar are still able to provide omegas with a beneficial working environment for their biology. There are suitable jobs that make it possible for omegas to work, whilst at the same time not being harmful towards them.”
“Again, cite where you obtained this information. There’s no proven research suggesting any job is detrimental or beneficial for omegas because of their biology!”
The man just ignored her words and continued on.
“-An example of this is the hero profession. There, omegas are very uncommon, that does however, not mean some won’t slink in through the cracks. Just take a look at the ranked hero Mirko.
It’s clear that being forced into the role of a hero, has made her confrontational, aggressive and assertive; It’s pushed out her true omega tendencies and behaviours.
Even in a recent interview, in the press conference after the Yakuza raids in Yokohama, upon being asked when she’ll take a step back from hero work to build a family, Mirko aggressively cursed out the reporter before stating -“For the record, in our society I have no intention of ever building a family, and I refuse to ever answer such a question again.”-
“Yeah! Because of people like you who try to force omegas into archaic societal structures! You conveniently cut out the part where the reason as to why she cursed out the reporters for asking about her personal life, that being it was a press conference to talk about the critical success the case had been thanks to her ! Efforts!”
“ Miss Hanju, stop interrupting, this is your last warning. Please continue Mr Kiyu.”
“As I was saying, clearly, great harm has been done to her, and Mirko needs to go to treatment for her inner Omega. Lest we find ourselves with a feral pro hero omega.
And she’s just one of the many examples.That’s it for me, thank you.”
“Very well spoken, Mr Kiyu. Now, miss Hanju, you may start.”
“ Thank you, to start off: Again, there is no actual proven research that suggests Omegas needs certain environments in order to feel fulfilled and happy. Some omegas may prefer to stay at home, while others thrive in a working environment, regardless of what that work is. Mirko is just one of the many examples of omega heroes that have proven again and again their competence in the hero industry.
There’s again, nothing suggesting it’s detrimental to her health, or has changed her in any way beyond how the profession changes anyone!
On the contrary, as ranked heroes especially, are mandated for monthly health check-ups, due to how quirks can interact with the human body to subtly inflict harm.
And although we the public don’t have access to private medical files, nothing has changed in the hero’s schedule to suggest there might be any need for worry.
This is all just regurgitating old talking points from hundreds of years ago, predating quirks and dynamics, when first sex discrimination was an accepted commonality.
In fact, this has nothing to do with ‘ protecting’ omegas at all! It’s all about controlling a systemically oppressed minority! Omega abuse cases have never been this low, because omegas have never had the security of their own agency in the way they do today and-“
“-Ah apologies, it seems we’ll have to cut this program short, breaking news just in. My colleague in the studio will take over”
The screen switched to the familiar site of the news anchor as she stood staring at the camera.
“An attack in Musutafu by the infamous Sludge villain, left residential buildings on fire, with an unknown amount of casualties and injured. This was as a result of the villain’s attempted possession of a middle schooler with an explosion quirk. Heroes and other responders on scene struggled containing the villain, afraid it would injure the hostage whose quirk was being set off uncontrolled.
Thankfully arriving on the scene in the nick of time, came alpha pro hero All might. Thanks to him the hostage was saved, currently in hospital: status unknown, and the villain was apprehended safely and securely.
Currently all traffic in the area is sealed off whilst heroes and responders are working to subdue the fires, more on this as it develops.”
Izuku shut the tv off.
There were indents in his palms from where he’d pressed his nails in.
Where they’d cut into flesh.
He hated listening to those debates, yet he couldn’t stop. How could he?
It was about him, it was his future.
New legislation everyday, a constant push and pull. Such a precarious position, balancing right on that knife's edge; he was cut staying, but falling off would mean something worse.
There was always something worse.
He’d checked out, when it switched to the news. Ofcourse it would, can’t let the rights activists, be rights activists.
It had been something about a villain in musutafu and… all might?! He would have to look it up.
Later.
When his thoughts didn’t feel so disconnected.
So disjointed.
-
He eventually found himself standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, Inko having called him to let him know she would be staying later at the hospital. Apparently it was due to the large number of casualties from the incident earlier that day.
She had seemed stressed and worried when calling, but he couldn’t recall exactly what had been said, or what he’d responded.
That strange disconnect in his brain still causing him to feel out of it.
It was, still on autopilot, that Izuku grabbed and prepared the right ingredients for Katsudon.
Cutting, dicing, grabbing cutleries and plates to set the table.
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, when the door finally opened and a familiar voice called out.
“Izuku! I’m home!”
Footsteps approached quickly, and he was greeted to the sight of an armful of his mom as she embraced him tightly upon seeing him.
“Aah, Izuku, you have no idea how worried I was!! I had to sneak away and call you when I heard what had happened, my sweet baby.”
She clutched him tighter in her arms, voice slightly wobbly.
“I’m fine mom… it’s okay.. nothing happened.”
She took a step back and bit her lip as she took in his ruffled appearance.
“Yeah, well I mean, I know it was close to the route you take home.. and-“ she sniffles before continuing.
“-Mitsuki called me on shift, Katsuki was the hostage! I can’t believe it… we talked later and he’s doing alright now. They’re keeping him overnight for observation though.
Just in case.”
“K-Kacchan?”
Izuku felt the world snap back into focus, as he remembered the words from the news anchor, as though they’d only processed right now.
Explosion quirk. Musutafu. Villain attack.
“-and you know, Izu, I just. That was Katsuki, what if it had been you. I mean, he’s an alpha with a strong quirk. But you-“
His mom broke down in front of him, and despite the way those words cut into something deep within him. Despite the swirling pool of emotions in his gut.
He stepped forwards to comfort her.
The food was cold by the time they sat down to eat it.
-
https//:www.Dynamics.org/presenting-&-puberty-for-different-dynamics
D Y N A M I C S
Presenting & puberty for different dynamics
In today’s Japan it is estimated that roughly 45 % of the population is made up of betas, the remaining 35% and 20% being alphas and omegas respectively. Between the ages of 7-18 is when most people experience their first, and in some cases second presentations. This article will briefly touch on the different stages of presenting for different dynamics, and how that correlates with typical development throughout puberty.
Most people experience their first presenting somewhere ages 7-10, when one's second gender/second sex first makes itself known. Although faint due to their age, underdeveloped scent glands and hormonal changes that won’t happen until a few years: it’s first now in children that they start developing unique scents revealing their dynamic.
In addition to this, it’s at this time the olfactory system jumpstarts in its development, more specifically the vomeronasal organ.This delayed developmental cycle is thought to be due to the intensity of sensitivity in a developed olfactory organ, so as not to overwhelm young pups. In today's society this results in a few weeks adjusting for children, before their nervous system can adjust to the new inputs. Omegas and alphas will have developed a slightly higher level of sensitivity when compared to betas.
As puberty starts,- ages varying from 10-14 dependent on several factors: sex, second sex and age presented-, the hormonal changes in the body also starts affecting pheromones and scents in the body.
The hormonal changes in the body cause a number of behavioural and bodily changes. The bi-monthly menstrual cycle is one such change: experienced by alphas and betas of the female sex, and in some cases intersex individuals.
As the larynx grows, changes in pitch and tone will also occur; For the female sex the change is minute but a slight tonal shift down, while for the male sex the larynx grows far bigger therefore a far more bigger change will occur, and it varies for intersex people. This is also when dynamic-typical, specific and otherwise, sounds will become possible to emit.
Sweat produced by newly fully developed sweat glands now starts being secreted for all dynamics regardless of sex.
Pheromone glands in addition to sweat glands, also develop around this time. They are a secreted or excreted chemical factor, also known as blood markers, that can trigger a different social response in accord with the different dynamics, depending on the triggering factor. In addition to this: pheromones produced and secreted through the glandular system also alerts others of their dynamic, their bond status, and in the case of omegas and alphas if they are close to a hear or rut cycle.
In addition to this, omegas and alphas, as opposed to betas, also experience a second presenting between the ages 15-18. This presents itself through the first rut or heat cycle, which is typically irregular before the body adjusts and moves onto standard rates of every 5 and 4 months respectively for a period of 2-3 days. The omega heat cycle is the collective term for the estrous and menstrual cycle of omegas, although often referring only to the former in common terminology. During the estrous cycle, omegas experience symptoms such as: increased hormonal and pheremonal production, severe abdominal pain, lack hunger and thirst, hypersexuality and fever. The alpha rut cycle is predominantly characterised only by an excessive increase in hormonal and pheremonal production resulting in: mood swings, aggressive behaviour, restlessness and hypersexuality.
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Izuku was just about to continue reading to prepare for the current assignment, when the teacher called out to the class.
“Alright everyone! Quick reminder before we end today. Don’t forget to send in your applications to high school before this weekend. If you’re still having trouble deciding, you can always find the guidance counselor, although beware she might be a bit busy this close to deadline.”
…
Applications, he had known it was coming, of course he had. It was all anyone was talking about, from conversations he had overheard, to the constant reminders from teachers.
But he still didn’t know what he was going to do. Had completely avoided thinking about it since that essay a month ago.
It hadn’t been a good month-
-Kacchan had taken being filmed and broadcasted on national television, the victim and sole hostage of a villain attack, exactly as well as one would think: not well.
The bullying hadn’t exactly escalated, the only real point of escalation left was physical; Though no one apparently thought that was… right .
He wasn’t even sure if he was thankful for the lack of it, or if the bitterness over why, overrode any relief there could’ve been.
No, the difference was the more.. proactive role, Kacchan had taken. He hadn’t used to participate at all before…
- Forward marching here we go, members of the agency
Ba-ku-gou-
Izuku forced himself out of the memories he felt so conflicted about. Forced himself to not think about the way the both of them still pretended their relationship was norma l, whenever they had family dinners together.
Forced himself to not remember the wink his mom and Mitsuki had shot one another, when they had sat together watching the tv just that weekend.
He was good at ignoring.
Right up until the fact he couldn’t anymore.
..like with the application.
-Sure, he had a dream, a childish one. A dream of saving lives.-
But he had searched, desperately, for any way of achieving that dream. But as most things did, it all led back to-
-two things.
The same two things it always was.
There were only a handful of hero schools in Japan offering places for omegas.
Only one of which, invited quirkless individuals onto their hero course.
And it was the most infamous one when it came to acceptance rates.
UA.
But-
Maybe, maybe.
If he just tried…
..he could be a hero.