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She's dying.
Of course she is.
It's sad, almost, how she isn't even surprised when the first flash of heat races through her. Ironic, in a way, how she is the happiest she has ever been in her whole life and that is the moment fate decides to take her. She doesn't even get a whole day to celebrate their survival. Not even an hour to bathe in the golden joy of victory and sink into the lighthearted embrace of her friends.
Just one moment, she wishes, just one...
Gods, fate is a cruel bitch. If she could, she would fight it tooth and nail but in a way, she knows, she already has. She's lived longer than expected. She outstayed her welcome in this plane of existence for far longer than anyone would've thought in the beginning.
And now, she is dying.
She expected it, of course. Dammon made it pretty clear that at some point her engine would break beyond repair and there's nothing he can do for her if she decides to stay in Baldur's Gate. As if going back to Avernus is a realistic option for her. It never was. It never will be.
Pain rips through her chest, bringing her to her knees as flames lick up her arms like cutting knives. Her skin burns and crawls yet all she can do is look up at Tav, who cowers before her, eyes wide in a state of overwhelming guilt. Their voice breaks on her name.
Karlach grinds her teeth, determined to stay strong for her friend. That's her role, after all. The strong one. The optimistic one. The one to shoulder all her burdens with a smile. If she breaks…
And really, what reason (apart from dying, of course) is there for her to cry. They just won the war against the Absolute. She did what she came here to do. She dies a free woman.
A gods-damned hero.
Zariel has no power over her nor does the Absolute. She is her own person, once again, after years of slavery. It's all she ever wanted. She should be happy she got to achieve that much, at least.
Or that’s what she has told herself for the last five years. But looking up at her friends, the space where her heart used to be clenches around her dying engine. It's a lie.
She never dared to wish for more, scared of the pain of never finding it, but Gods has she dreamed of feeling a sense of home again. Of having people to call friends. Of gasping under someone else's adoring touch once she finally gets the chance to love and be loved.
She wants to be alive so badly it hurts.
"Karlach."
Her name sounds like a song falling from his lips and she can't help but sob at the tone of his voice. She wants to be strong for them, even in the face of death but she griefs for what she will never get to experience. Five years of yearning, waiting. Five years of loneliness, of wishing, hoping, praying. And here he is. Close enough to touch, close enough to hold-
Close enough to burn to ashes in her hellfire flames.
Wyll falls to his knees before her, hands trembling at his sides and she holds up her palms to stop him. "Careful," she gasps. "Hot."
Embers meet wood when their eyes meet and he crumbles before her, pleading without words. She has seen this look before, a long time ago, when he asked her not to work for an unjust and lying man. If only she had listened. But she couldn't then and she can't listen now.
“Karlach, you do not have to die like this,” he says, his voice shaky like his fingers reaching out towards her. The tips of his gloves go from brown to black as they singe in her heat and she jerks back.
“Sorry mate, I’m not going back,” she squeezes out between heaved breaths. Her engine roars and so does she.
“Please, listen to me,” Wyll pleads and she averts her eyes, hiding from the pull he has on her metal heart. “We have so much still before us, so many things undone.”
She shakes her head, balling her fists at her sides. Sharp fingernails dig into her flesh but it's nothing next to the flames eating at her body from the inside. “I can't, Wyll. I can't go back there.”
She can't flee his gaze any longer. He is captivatingly beautiful and so full of warmth that she sees no harm in indulging in his friendship just one last time. If she dies, at least she'll have known love. At least she'll die in the company of her friends.
“You won't be alone this time.”
His eyes are filled with determination, his jaw tense as he speaks his promise and she almost wants to laugh. Here he is, laying his life down for her once again. This stupid, reckless, absolutely selfless man. She loves him more than she can comprehend.
“I can't ask that of you,” she cries. She won't because she knows if she does, he will say ‘Yes’ and that is something she will never be able to live with. She won't steal his life away from him just to save hers. Not again. “You… you will be Duke of Baldur’s Gate, finish your fathers work. Rebuild the city. Find a nice wife to give you stupidly cute, little Ravengard babies.”
“Karlach-” Wyll protests but she gives him a silencing look, cutting his words short.
“It's your duty,” Karlach snaps and Wyll falls silent. He regards her with a disbelieving look, squinting at her and for a moment she isn't sure if maybe she pushed out her words in Infernal on accident.
“Fuck duty,” he scoffs and Karlach nearly folds in surprise. He almost never swears. And he certainly doesn't disregard his principles. He's the Blade of Frontiers.
“Fuck the nobles. Fuck it all.” He spits the words out like they burn his tongue, like he swallowed venom. She stares at him, flames licking at her skin and all she can see is the pain in his dark-brown eyes. “What good is my life without you in it?”
She holds her breath and bites her tongue. All she ever wanted, all she ever craved for, right in front of her and she has to let him slip away. She has to let him go. She can't force him into a life below the surface.
“Wyll…” she starts but her words break alongside her resolve. Somewhere far in the depths of hell her tiefling heart bursts into a thousand tiny pieces, hidden and locked away in Zariel’s lair but she feels it nonetheless.
“Zariel won't touch you. You will never be her slave again.” She wants to shake her head but she can't because she believes every word he says. If Zariel hadn’t taken her heart, he would have found her the first time. He would have kept his promise. He will keep it now, she knows it. “You have my word, Karlach. My only duty is to you.”
Her head spins, vision blurring as her engine stutters. It's only a matter of minutes. Seconds, maybe. Soon, it will all be over.
“Argh!” Another flare of heat rushes through her, stealing her breath and she falls forward, barely catching herself with her arms.
Wyll’s hands shoot forward, catching her shoulders. The leather of his gloves sizzles and squeaks, the smell of burned flesh stings her nose. She jerks back, trying to move away from him, to break the singing contact. His grip tightens. A soft, pained gasp pulls her gaze upwards, wide-eyed with fear and guilt as she meets his again.
Wyll holds her stare, gritting his teeth. His jaw twitches. “I would burn in the hellfires a thousand times if it granted me the chance to be with you.”
For a moment, time stands still. Something blooms in his eyes, a strength only to be compared with an ancient acorn tree. His breath shakes, pain tugging at the corner of his lips yet he engulfs her with such comfort it makes her want to melt into him. It's a different kind of warmth, one that doesn't want to kill but heal.
“Fine, I'll go, Wyll. With you,” she breathes out, surprising herself as well as him. Wyll glows at her, tight smile on his lips. “You really have a way with words.”
He chuckles. “So I've been told.”
Behind him, Tav shoots a look towards Gale over their shoulder and the wizard nods courtly. One hand movement later, the portal opens, illuminating Wyll’s face in flickering purple. Goodbye happens quickly, a rushed peck on her cheek and a wave of a hand. Her engine stutters and stops. With a tug at her hand Wyll pulls her through…not a moment too soon.
Her whole world spins, leaving her gasping, falling, scrambling for balance. Metal creaks inside her chest, slowly getting into motion again as the smell of sulfur and iron floods her senses. Everything around them loses all color except for the shades of red painting the sky.
They tumble through the Portal, landing on their knees and she heaves out a breath. The flames on her body cool down, the pain ebbs away. Dust lingers on her tongue as she coughs out, fingers grey with ash and dirt. She closes her eyes, lets her head hang low between her shoulders as the sound of screams takes over her mind once again.
She's back.
She's alive.
The dam inside her breaks as saltwater floods rush out of her. Her fists connect with the ground beneath her, blowing clouds of rusty dust into the air. A guttural scream rattles through her body, leaving her shaking.
She's back in Avernus.
Wyll crawls over towards her, fingertips meeting her heaving body. He whispers her name, holds her close. She takes the chance to finally do what she has never allowed herself to do before: she folds and breaks and crumbles and he catches her like a lifeline, arms embracing her like wings of an Asimaar.
Wyll is patient and gentle and kind as he rakes his fingernails through the short side of her hair. Whispering sweet nothings into her ear while she lets her tears fall. He smells like home and safety and she buries her nose in the junction of his neck.
She doesn't know how long it takes for her breathing to return to normal, nor does she care. If there is ever a right moment to curse the Gods and roar at the skies in anger, it is now. It is hers.
When her breath settles after half an eternity and her tears dry in the heat of the hells, she untangles her arms from his neck. Looking back at him, she’s greeted by warmth and something she never thought she’d be granted to see: love.
He loves her.
He went to hell for her.
With her.
His hands frame her face, soft skin on her still heated cheeks. A soft smile plays on his lips. Something tugs on the space where her heart should have been, filling it with fluttering energy that courses through her whole body. Before she knows it, she leans in, magnetic pull luring her closer.
He meets her in the middle, plump lips meeting hers in a kiss that feels like a breath of fresh morning air. His eyelashes tickle her skin and she chases his taste, burning with a different kind of heat than just a moment ago.
Wyll chuckles against her lips, breath mingling with hers. He strokes her cheek, tilting his head and leaning his forehead against hers.
“We’ll face this together," he mumbles. "I swear it."
And she believes him because if there is one person who has always kept his promises, it’s Wyll Ravengard.