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Feng Xin and Mu Qing had been alive for 8 centuries, and they’ve been through and survived some pretty crazy shit.
They battled gigantic and powerful demons, took down corrupted leaders, but no battle could prepare them for this particular task.
It all started when the Heavenly Emperor called them both aside after a meeting in the Divine Palace, to tell them he’s assigning unique mission. They were going to sneak into Hua Chengs territory and gather more intel on him so they can find a way to get rid of him for good.
In short, they were forced to become Heavens spies.
It’s not like they could deny a mission from the emperor, but they didn’t wanna do this for a number of reasons. Number one was because whenever they were paired with each other for missions, it ended with both of them getting fresh bruises from punches and sore throats from screaming. And number two is because they didn’t wanna spend that much time in the ghost realm, specifically in Hua Chengs territory. The only thing those two had in common was their mutual hatred for the one eyed menace. Always acting like he was better than everyone just because he managed to kill a few heavenly officials. The very thought of spending that much time around him made their insides churn.
Nevertheless, they couldn’t say no to this assignment, so they put on some dark cloaks as disguises, and made their way to the ghost realm.
—
“So what’s your plan for getting in?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know!? I’ve never been here before!”
“Oh I’m sorry, are you that dense enough to assume that once we reach Paradise manor a magic door will automatically open for us and let us in?!” Mu Qing yelled.
“Let’s just see if we can get in through the roof. And stop trying to pick a fight, do you want Hua Cheng to find us before we even get inside?!” Feng Xin retorted.
“No, because if I were ever to die in battle I don’t want the face of an imbecile to be the last thing I see.” Mu Qing said with a smirk.
“YOU-!!”
After several more minutes of bickering, they managed to sneak into the house through the roof and start exploring the place. They should’ve asked Ling Wen if she had any information on how big the manor was because they’ve been walking for what felt like hours and Mu Qing could swear he saw that same ivory vase four times already.
“Okay let’s stop for a second, we’re never gonna get anywhere if we keep wandering around like this.” Feng Xin said.
“Well do you have any bright ideas? Because I’m sick of seeing the same over-extravagant hallway everywhere I look.”
Seriously, how could someone stand to have their home look so tacky?
Just then, they heard a jingling sound that sounded like it was walking towards them, followed by a deep, smooth voice that sounded irritated.
“What do you mean your bone fish are out of control?”
Hua Cheng
Feng Xin and Mu Qing felt panic rise in them as the sound of the jingling bells rang louder. They were not at all prepared to face the calamity right this moment since they were only sent here to get more information on him. Mu Qing quickly looked around and saw a large wooden door with painted flowers and butterflies painted on it. A weird door for a calamity’s residence, but he quickly grabbed Feng Xin and ran inside.
He covered Feng Xins mouth to keep him from yelling at him, and put a finger to his lips telling him to be quiet, as he put his ear on the door, trying to listen to what the ghost king was saying.
“I feed them food from ghost city that’s different from what they normally eat and now they’re going crazy? And yet you always say they’re better than my wrath butterflies.”
“How was I supposed to there was a toxin in it that made their libido higher? They’re nothing but a pile of bones, I didn’t even know they could still do that.”
“No, It’s bad enough that I was forced to leave Gege’s side all day while he cared for Mei-Mei. I’m not leaving them again just to help you fix your horny fish problem.”
What the hell is he talking about?
Both Feng Xin and Mu Qing looked at each other with confusion. Who the hell were “Gege” and “Mei-Mei”? When they finally heard Hua Chengs obnoxious jingling boots fade away as he walked off still arguing with whoever he was talking to, both of them rose to their feet as they formed a ball of light in their hands to see what’s inside this room. They could probably gain some new information in here since its door looked so unique from the other doors they saw in the manor.
What they saw however, left them both speechless.
The room they were in was a distinguished looking refurbished room with dozens of painted portraits of birds, bunnies, and other animals on the walls, with different types of flowers covering the bottom. Complete with shelves all over the room full of toys, and tiny clothes that looked both soft, and expensive. The floor was completely covered in a soft pink carpet with other toys lying around, with a rocking chair in the corner that sat next to a window overlooking the city.
This was no ordinary room, it was a nursery.
“The hell?” Feng Xin says. “Why would Crimson Rain have all this stuff?
Just then, they heard a soft, cooing sound coming from the far side of the room. When they turned their heads, they saw a cradle with red curtains covering the opening to it. As if it was trying to protect whatever’s inside from the outside world.
“Feng Xin…” Mu Qing mumbled, a clear sense of concern in his voice.
Feng Xin slowly approached the cradle, taking slow and wary steps at a time. When he finally reached the cradle, he slowly reached forward and pulled the red curtain off the top.
There, sleeping soundly hugging a stuffed fox toy, was a tiny baby tucked in a soft pink blanket. They were a pudgy little thing, with chubby little cheeks on their face and a chubby stomach that could still be visible even through the think blanket, and soft looking black hair that covered the top of their head.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Both of the martial gods stood in their place, completely stunned at what they had just found. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing, a tiny, innocent little baby that was napping like she didn’t know she was sleeping in the house of the most dangerous being in the 3 realms. “What in the living fuck…” Feng Xin whispers. “Did Crimson Rain steal a baby?” Mu Qing asked in disbelief. Why would the Crimson Rain Sought Flower steal a baby? They knew the man mysterious as he was annoying, but even this is weird behavior from him.
They started to back away from the cradle slowly, but Mu Qing stepped on a toy which let out a loud SQEAK! “Shit!” Mu Qing cursed under his breath. Just then, the baby started to stir in her sleep. Both of the generals jumped back as they watched her slowly rub and open up her little eyes.
Her glowing, blood red eyes.
It was Crimsons Rains baby.
Hua Cheng, had a baby.
Both the martial Gods could barely process what was going through their heads. Crimson Rain Sought Flower, the most feared man in the world, managed to have a child. At first they thought the baby was stolen and needed to be rescued, but those eyes and that hair, there was no doubt that this child shared the same blood as the Ghost King. And even so, the little baby looked like she was being well cared for, after all she had the baby fat and the luxury room to prove it.
Right now only 2 questions were swimming around in the Gods heads…
Why would the Crimson Rain Sought Flower have a baby?
And who was the child’s mother?
Who would be stupid and desperate enough to willingly throw themselves at Hua Cheng and let him put his wretched seed in them to carry on his bloodline. Of course they didn’t think anyone, even the idiots they’ve dealt with in the past, would be dumb enough to marry him and bear his children.
Unless…
They weren’t given a choice…
As dark thoughts started pooling into their brains, the baby, who was wide awake at this point, started to whimper, clearly upset that these strange men interrupted her sleep.
“Oh shit, what do we do?!”
“Don’t look at me, I don’t know anything about babies.”
The baby started to whimper even louder as the men were still making noise. Just then, Feng Xin grabbed her fox toy and started to wave it in her face as if trying to make it look like it was alive.
Thinking that her best friend was being stolen, she let out a loud, terrified wail that made the gods stumble and drop the toy. They tried to calm her down by making weird looking faces at her and shushing her, which only led to her crying louder and harder.
Before they knew it they knew it they heard rapid footsteps coming towards the door.
“Someone’s coming!”
“Hide!”
They scrambled around the room a couple time before managing to tightly squeeze into a wardrobe full of luxury clothing to extravagant for such a small baby. Just then, they heard the door open, and a soft, gentle voice that was all too familiar to both of them echoed throughout the room.
“Ohh sweetheart, what’s the matter?”
Is that?…
No, it couldn’t be…
Feng Xin cracked the door open a little bit to see who the gentle voice belonged to, silently hoping it wasn’t who he thought it was.
There, standing in the middle of the room, was the prince, the prince both the generals spent their whole mortals lives following, he had a serene smile on his face as he held the crying baby close to his chest and lightly bounced her in his arms, while whispering sweet nothings to her.
Xie Lian…
“What could be upsetting my little flower so much?” Xie Lian asked the wailing infant. He walked over to the rocking chair in the corner and slowly started rocking them back and forth. He was humming a lullaby as he held the child close, as her wails slowly turned into little whimpers.
Both Feng Xin and Mu Qing watched in stunned silence as Xie Lian continue to rock the crying baby. Just when they thought this mission couldn’t get any weirder, it had to pull this shit on them. Before they knew it they were shaking with rage, how dare that disgusting cyclops kidnap his highness and force him to have his spawn! Feng Xin felt like throwing up as he imagined grim thoughts about the kind of things Xie Lian may have been forced to endure in this place. But his thoughts were interrupted by the baby starting to flail around in the fallen gods arms.
“Oh I’m sorry dear, I didn’t realize you must be extra hungry after spending the day with mama.”
They were about to jump out of the closet when they froze at hearing the word, “mama.”
Xie lian was the child’s mother…
Before Feng Xin and Mu Qing could jump out of the closet and take his highness far away from here, they watched as Xie Lian started to loosen his robes and bring the fussy baby close to his pec.
He’s not….
No, he can’t be…
Feng Xin and Mu Qing watched in horror as the baby latched onto Xie Lians pec and started sucking, with droplets of milk falling from the infants mouth.
The prince whom the two gods spent so long following and protecting, was breastfeeding the baby of the world’s most dangerous ghost.
Maybe the wind master slipped some booze into their mourning tea, and this was all a dream! Yeah! What they were seeing was clearly a dream and they’re gonna wake up any second now. They pinched themselves just to be sure and, gods, they weren’t dreaming.
Right now they needed to focus on getting his highness out of here and bring him back with them to heaven. Jun Wu might take pity on him and let him stay in their palaces while he heals, he always had a particular fondness for their prince, but who wouldn’t?
Suddenly, the door to the nursery slowly opened and that ominous jingling sound which sent shivers up both the gods spine walked into the room. Hua Cheng slowly walked over to the prince in the rocking chair, gave the infant a light kiss on her head, and gave Xie Lian a slow soft kiss on the lips. When they pulled away, they looked at each other like they were the other’s entire worlds, as they whispered to each other softly while Hua Cheng stroked the baby’s head.
For a moment, the gods questioned if this was the same Hua Cheng they knew and hated. The Hua Cheng they knew would never act so soft like this. Instead, the ghosts usual facade of a bloodthirsty monster completely vanished and was replaced with the face of a soft and caring husband and father.
They wouldn’t be able to rescue his highness like this with hua cheng clinging to Xie Lian like this. They needed a plan to rescue his highness when Hua Cheng far away from him. As if the universe thought they had suffered enough, Xie Lian slowly rose from the chair still holding the baby, completely passed out on milk, close to his chest, and slowly bent over and tucked her into the cradle. Then Hua Cheng put his hand on the small of the princes back and led them out of the room.
This was their chance, they ran out of the closet and jumped out the nursery window. They felt horrible about leaving their friend to that monster, but they need a plan to get him away from the ghost so they can safely rescue him and possibly his child. If they went in now then both of their heads would have got sliced off.
They bolted all the way back to heaven and the other gods were shocked to find the two generals out of breath, white as a sheet, and shaking as if they just saw something that’ll haunt them the rest of their lives.
Where the fuck do we even start with this…