Chapter Text
ding
A sudden notification from instagram caught Soobin’s attention while preparing some cereal for breakfast. The words “choiyawnzzn has requested to follow you” stared mockingly at him. A quick glance at the notification was enough for Soobin to leave what he was doing and scramble to run to Beomgyu's room.
“Guess who just sent me a follow request?”
Beomgyu groaned, kicking off his sheets, “What? Uh shit I don’t know...your new hot psychology TA?”
“What? No, it’s Yeonjun. Choi YEONJUN sent me the follow request.” Soobin scoffed at the absurdity of it. “Can you believe it? The audacity..”
“That's gutsy…just accept the request for now it’s not like he’ll text you or anything right? Ayyy don’t worry, he won't.” The latter sang.
“But no way hyung, after how long of no contact? 6 months? A year? Woah. guess he finally unblocked you” Beomgyu’s excited tone made Soobin’s heart drop to his stomach. He wondered why Yeonjun would have decided to send him a follow request of all people.
Maybe he just wants to be friends…or even just connections or networking. Yeah maybe that.
“Well a bit more than 7 months I guess. It’s just too sudden, my sleep deprived brain had a million thoughts racing and you just know that my day isn't going to go well”
And well. It didn’t.
Soobin was almost late to his morning class after the mini catastrophe in his dorm living room. On top of that, his first lecture was psychology and today just happened to be the day when his rumored “hot” TA was going to attend. And it was like the world had deemed this to be the most emotionally and physically turbulent day as of recent maybe 3-4 months.
The last time being when he stumbled down the stairs and ended up with a nosebleed splattered on his white shirt around 3 months ago. That incident wouldn't even hold a match to this day.
He had just staggered into the classroom with a slight limp, a result of him running and flying through the staircases, when he noticed the TA with his back turned towards the class- writing something on the whiteboard. Thank god . He sighed as he silently took his seat in the middle row.
Taking out the class material needed for the lecture, he heard a familiar nasal voice.
“So class…I believe this is the first class of the second semester, right? Please open your books to the elements of clinical psychology.”
No way. No fucking way. His head raised in a comical slow motion as he looked at their TA, Choi Yeonjun in all his glory. Looking as obnoxiously attractive and neat as expected. Oh.
He watched as Yeonjun’s eyes raked the crowd, possibly trying to remember the students he would be assisting this semester. And then they landed on him.
That one moment of eye contact should not have brought back all the memories he had related to the older man. He should not be reminiscing but in his defense, anyone would have a similar reaction with their history and the events that unfolded that morning.
And maybe he’ll lie about not being disappointed when Yeonjun didn’t let his gaze waver on him for longer, that his eyes held no special emotions in that one moment.
And when the lecture ended, he left as silently as he had entered albeit feeling even more restless than when he had first stepped in. The rest of his lectures passed in a blur, his thoughts occupied by a certain brunet for a majority of the time. While the man in question was probably unaware of the storm Soobin had gone through after they ended.
All those therapy sessions flashed through his mind as he picked at his skin. Beomgyu’s nagging words echoed in his mind as he tried not going back to his restless habits.
However, with those reminders came memories of what had gone wrong. He made his way to their dorm, his body heavy with the flashbacks.
“You’re thinking too much, don’t worry about it. I’ll try to be home by 2” Yeonjun’s voice faded in and out while the sounds of drunk students, tired bartenders and loud party songs blasted in his ear.
How could he not overthink when it was almost his 10th night out in the same fashion. How could he not overthink when he started his birthday without him for the first time in 2 years? How could he not when their relationship was teetering on the edge, ready for them to snap into two?
But yes of course he was the one being dumb for overthinking. “Just stay over at Taehyun’s today, I'm not staying up for you.” Soobin exhaled and hung up without bothering to hear what the older had to say. He was done with acting pathetic and waiting for Yeonjun to come back to him.
“Gyu? Want to take me to a bar? Please.” It felt like he had barely uttered these words a minute ago when all of a sudden he found himself sitting on a barstool next to Beomgyu looking at him with his sympathetic eyes.
And then next thing he knew he was 6 shots in of some terrible burning alcohol he hadn’t bothered to check the name of- fully trusting Beomgyu- and was dancing his anger out. Until he felt lips upon his and the hips of some guy he hadn’t bothered to know the name of, grinding against his own.
It felt so wrong. And he couldn’t, it tasted bitter like the taste of revenge. Even with all the voices in him telling him to take revenge, he couldn’t. Pushing himself away from the boy, he rushed to the bathroom, turned the faucet to its maximum and rubbed off the smell of drugs and alcohol.
His ears had barely gotten a break when the door slammed open, with Beomgyu and Yeonjun barging in. The elder stopped in his tracks after one glance at his state. “Good.” spoke Soobin’s inner demons. But he knew a small part of him was terrified.
He could feel the heavy air suffocating him till Yeonjun stormed up at him and held his shoulders. A daunting grip. “Are you okay?” A daunting question. He watched as his eyes followed his smudged lipstick and the ruffled clothes. A daunting look. “Are we?” He asks him instead of replying.
He watched as the older broke eye contact and that was all the confirmation he needed. A broken sigh escaped his lips as he let out an exhausted laugh before the older could say anything. And he watched as something dimmed in Yeonjun’s eyes. “There you have it.” He lightly pushed off the latter’s hands that had descended to holding his wrists.
That was when it didn’t feel daunting anymore. The answer was crystal clear, right there for a while for him to just remove his rose tinted glasses and look. He couldn’t believe that the same Yeonjun who loved him enough to permeate into his personal bubble had turned into a Yeonjun who made him feel uneasy while being in it. He cursed himself for being a sensitive guy when he felt tears all over his makeup and hiccups stuck in his throat.
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He took long breaths in an attempt to calm himself down as he sat on their couch. Beomgyu returned with tea, placing it in his hand.
“Do you think he knows that I go here? And that I'm in his class?”
A beat. Beomgyu sighed,“Even if he didn’t, he probably does now you know- he probably has the list of students in his class though he’s a TA”
“I don’t think I'm ready to talk to him again.”
“You’ll never be ready if you keep running from it you know?”
Soobin felt the younger's eyes burning into his, all he wanted was to drown under his bedsheets and forget about it, hoping it’ll all be a dream when he wakes up. “Got it. Movie night today?”
“Yeah of course. Wanna go and get snacks?”
Soobin hummed and got up on his feet,
they were totally going to watch a rom com and cry.