Archive of Our Own

Belos was dead. He had melted away into a puddle of mud, dissolved by the boiling rain. His once heroic figure, forever smudged and stained by his own spectral hand.

Why then, did the Hexsquad feel so… drained? They should be happy he was gone, right? Celebrating his demise, like everybody else. Or at the very least, relieved that he wasn't alive and breathing anymore. But sincerely, they just felt stressed out and exhausted. 

There was so much stuff to fix. Entire political systems to dismantle. People to help. Order and peace to restore… And they were only fifteen years old. Doing all of that after fighting tooth and nails against a ruthless half-dead dictator seemed impossible.

It was impossible.

Either that, or they were simply too tired to care. 

Maybe it was the later. They need a break. Which is why, after taking time to reconnect with their families and respective parental figures, the team accepted Camila’s offer to take a few days off from it all in the human world. And with the portal now open and actively working, the possibility became a fact. 

Even Eda decided to tag along, taking Raine and King with her, and leaving Hooty behind with Lilith to take care of the house. 

Of course, the little Titan mostly hung around Luz’s home, because no other human was allowed to see him, but at least he had a chance to relax as well. After all, he wasn’t spared by the trauma of facing Belos either. He’d seen his big human sister die in front of his eyes, and found out through her reincarnated self that his dad was also gone. Let’s not even mention the pressure he had to endure to keep Eda and Lilith safe under the shadow of the collector…

Anyway. King was proof that no one had made it unscathed from that disastrous conflict. 

All of this said, the Noceda's home was packed. Eda, thankfully, had brought along a bunch of “human valuables” to sell at a local pawnshop (things that according to Luz’s judgment, actually were worth more than a cent), and they had scrapped a few dollars together to help Camila with their expenses. It was enough to cover the witches’ three day vacation at her house, and help with any other monetary issues that could arrive. 

They didn’t do much besides cooking, playing games, reading books, talking and chilling though. So no emergency coins had to be spent.

The kids preferred to stay by the shack, leaving the adults alone in the house. Although they doubted that the older group’s dynamic was way far off to theirs. Again, they were all drained. Human or not, grown up or not, they needed to rest. 

But it was during the second night of their group vacation when Camila noticed that maybe the kids would need a few more days to calm themselves down and breathe normaly again. She found Hunter mid panic attack in her kitchen, with his sweaty back glued to a wooden cabinet as his eyes scanned the room in a frenzy, and through his nervous ramblings, the veterinarian got some answers for the origins of his many scars.

Belos was a horrible person, and an even worse guardian. She was enraged.

So, as Eda and Raine went back to the Isles, she allowed the rest of the group to stay behind, after asking the owl lady to give their parents a good explanation for their extended absence.

Amity and Hunter, above everyone else, seemed to be the most excited by this change of plans. Willow and Gus were taking plenty of pictures to show their dads’, and Luz was glad to be spending time with King, her mom and Vee. But Hunter only had his true mentor, Darius, waiting for him in the Isles, and Amity, well… her family was kind of a mess right now. Her parents were going through a divorce, Odalia was in the process of moving out of the manor, Em and Edric were trying to reconnect with Alador, and the whole situation was just… hard. Plus, she didn’t feel like it was a good idea to stay away from Luz at the moment. Her girlfriend had been showing signs of depression again - although, after everything she’d gone though, it would be more scary if she tried to pretend things were fine. Because they weren't   fine. At all. 

Besides, Amity wouldn’t lie to herself anymore, she also wasn’t feeling her best. Now that she was having some free time to think, and process all of her emotions and memories, she was realizing that it would take her a while to heal. 

There also was the issue of the nightmares. Not only with Belos, and the collector, but with her mom as well. With the things Odalia had done, in the past. With the way she had forced her own daughter to behave, and to bow down to her wishes in complete submission and obedience... 

Again.

It was a lot.

So it wasn’t surprising that, on the fith day of her unprompted vacation, Amity found herself awake in the early hours of the morning, covered in sweat and barely able to breathe. Clutching at her shirt, and feeling as if her skeleton was trying to claw its way out of her tight skin, she stood up from her makeshift bed and tried not to wake Willow, Luz and Vee up. Hunter was sleeping with Gus and King in the basement, and Camila was softly snoring in her bed, so she had to keep quiet. 

Well, at least she thought she was the only one awake. That notion changed when she arrived at the stairs, and saw that the kitchen’s light was on. Someone was also up. And knowing who was having the most trouble sleeping as of lately, it wasn’t hard to figure their identity out.

“Hunter…” she whispered, underneath a shaky breath.

Amity took a couple of minutes to ground herself and get her body under her control again, before walking up to the kitchen. As she expected, the redeemed golden guard was awake, looking slightly shaken up and skittish. His eyebags also seemed to have gotten darker. There was a toaster on the countertop, and he was staring at it like his bloodshot eyes could burn the bread faster than the nichrome wires inside. 

“Hey…” Amity announced her presence and accidentally startled him, despite the fact that she didn't raise her voice and that her tone was soft as a ball of cotton. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s… fine.” He looked at her for a second, rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. “What are you doing up? It’s too early.”

“I could ask you the same thing.” She sat down at the table, not too far away from him.

“I’m… making toast.”

“I can see that.”

“Want one?... Mrs. Noceda taught me how to make cinnamon toast. It’s… good.”

“Never tried, but sure. Thanks.”

Hunter set himself to work. Once their plates were ready, he moved them to the table and grabbed a bottle of apple juice from the “fridge”. He wasn’t used to taking things from anywhere without asking for permission, but Camila had told him that it was okay for him to do it if she wasn’t around, especially if it was food, so he did it anyway. But Amity noticed how he stared at the white, cold box in front of him with a mixture of dread and anxiety. She noticed how his grip on the door became tighter. And she understood his nerves. Because she’d also felt them before.

After picking up the juice, Hunter grabbed two glasses and sat down next to the other witch. Her hair was longer now, more pink than purple, and she was playing with it, trying to remove a knot that had formed at the tips while she slept. 

It also was something that she did when she was on edge. For some reason, it helped her relax.

“If you think the toast needs a little bit more sugar, let me know.”

“Hm… don’t worry. This is great already.” Amity commented, after she stopped playing with her hair and took a small bite.

Hunter smiled softly, and looked down at his plate. They ate their snack in silence, and their conversation was only resumed once the food was gone.

“I had a nightmare…” the blond boy said, after a while. “I didn’t get up just to, you know, make some toast… But I needed a distraction.” He crossed his arms, and still couldn’t muster the courage necessary to look at Amity. “And I-I’m sorry to be bothering you with this, but Mrs Noceda said that it’s good to talk about it, a-and…”

“Hunter, it’s okay…” the girl replied, keeping her voice low and gentle. “I’m listening.”

He tried to force himself to relax. Took three big breaths in, and out. Shifted nervously in his seat. Amity didn't mention the fact that he still was calling Camila "Mrs. Noceda". She understood how hard it was to speak to older figures of authority with such nonchalance. They were both used to saying "Sir", "Ma'am", "Your highness"... Not calling important people by their actual names. 

“I want to apologize… for what happened at Eclipse Lake.” Hunted said and, at this, the witch actually tensed up. “I put all of your lives at risk. I c-could have hurt you, badly. I stole the key. I helped the wrong person…”

“It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” He tried to hold back a scream, and nearly failed. Amity got scared, but only for a second. She knew he wasn't actually angry at her, but at himself. “It’s… not. And I’m sorry.” Hunter’s chin touched his chest and he closed his eyes. “But if I came back to my unc… to Belos completely empty handed, I’d get punished… Well, at least worse than I actually was, because the key was still broken, and he wasn't happy about that.”

“I understand.”

“No, you…”

“I do.” Amity’s voice became firm, and a bit colder. “I was… am… a Blight. And we have to show up with results too. Me, Em, Edric… All of us had to respond to mother. And if we failed in whatever mission or goal she’d set for us, there would be punishments too…” Her words made Hunter look up, and his face showcased all of his surprise and sadness. “You were doing your best to avoid getting in trouble, and I understand that... Plus, you’re one of us now. And you’ve helped us a lot… So of course I forgive you. It's in the past now.”

He uncrossed his arms, and nodded slowly, before uttering a tiny “thanks”, and staring at Amity with the biggest puppy eyes she’d ever seen - nearly rivalling Luz’s-. 

“So… when you say ´punishments´, do you mean…” The former guard couldn’t finish his sentence, but the pink haired girl got his silent question anyway.

She backed up against her chair and her eyes turned glassy. She didn’t want to cry, but only thinking about the answer made her tear up.

“Yes.” Amity turned her face away and tried to keep herself calm. After all, nothing was happening. No one was threatening her. No one was touching her. Hitting her. Screaming at her. And talking about this was good. Camila was right about that. “Dad… he didn’t know the stuff that mom would do to us. At least, that’s what he told me, the last time we spoke… If we did something that Odalia didn’t agree with, she’d force us to participate in demonstrations of Blight Industries new products, and beat us up in front of everyone that came to see it. Nobody realized what she was actually doing. Nobody tried to stop her, or tell her that it was wrong… Not even him. He thought that we were only faking the pain, to attract more customers… ” The witch made a small pause to breathe. “I don’t blame him fully, though. Mom had a way to mess with everyone’s head… And he fell for it. He was too busy trying to deal with his own abusive relationship, to see that we were also being hurt... And she also gave us amulets, to telepathically keep us in line. Dad included… She’d say the most awful things through them… We were never good enough for her. We would never amount to nothing. And the only thing we could bring her was shame. So yeah... I can't blame him. He was stuck in that mess too.”

“I’m sorry, that’s… terrible.”

“It was.”

Hunter, although feeling bad for Amity, also found some sort of weird comfort around her. Maybe it was because now he felt less alone and misunderstood. 

Which is why cleared his throat next and decided to keep the ball rolling:

“Belos would do all the damage in private. He’d ask me to come to the throne room, and he’d punish me there, when no one was watching. Physically, mentally, in any way he deemed necessary to prove a point... He’d also send me on impossible missions just to see me hurt.” He traced the scars on his hands, which were already starting to fade. “I dreamt about one of these missions today.”

“Let me guess, Eclipse Lake?”

The boy let a small, humorless chuckle escape his lips.

“I’m that predictable, huh?”

“A little bit.” Amity smiled, but he could clearly see the pain behind her eyes. 

Another pause.

“Can I... ask you a question?”

“Sure… I’ve got nothing to hide anymore.” She shrugged. “Ask away.”

“Does Willow know about your mom’s… behaviour?” Hunter was about to say the feared word ‘abuse’, but he knew that hearing it right now wouldn’t be at all good for his friend. “It’s just that she spoke with me, a few nights ago, about how you two spent years fighting each other… and she said that, although she found out about your parent’s meddling in your friendship, she still feels like something is missing from your story. Is that it?”

“I bullied Willow. Let’s start there.” Amity’s tone shifted once more, now to utter shame and self-hatred. “I was disgusting back then. I treated her poorly, I pushed her away, and I hurt her… a lot.” A tear slipped from her eyes and she was quick to dry it. “When we started patching things up, and became friends again, I knew I couldn’t tell her the whole truth. If I did, it would feel like I was, I don’t know? Justifying my actions? Making it seem like I was right for doing what I did?... And I didn’t want that. I didn’t want Willow to think that I was manipulating her to forgive me, somehow.”

“You’d never.”

“No… but she wouldn’t understand that. Because of my own actions and choices, she wouldn’t see the truth for what it was… She’d see it as an excuse.”

Upon noticing that her eyes were becoming more and more shiny, Hunter leaned closer to Amity and carefully put his hand on top of hers.

“Hey… It’s okay to cry if you want. I’m not judging.”

“I don’t deserve to cry for this… I willingly hurt my best friend!” She exclaimed, but was able to keep her volume low.

“You were being hurt too…” Next to him, Hunter could see the witch’s lower lip wobble. And his own emotions made his eyes water as well. “And you were just a kid. Besides, I’m sure Willow wouldn’t think you are trying to deceive her now. She is smarter than you think; she knows something truly bad happened between you and your mom. And she’s worried. Very worried.”

“Why?”

“That’s the dumbest question you could ask me, Blight.” At his dry answer, Amity chuckled. And with her laugh, also came her tears. “Willow is your friend. She cares. And she’s noticed how drained you look as of lately.”

“Aren’t we all like that?”

“Yes, but all of us have different reasons for it. She just feels like yours are a bit more complicated than you’re publicly willing to admit.” Hunter gestured with his free hand,  to emphasize his point. 

“Not even Luz knows the extent of what happened… And she’s my girlfriend.”

“Well, you don’t owe anyone any explanations. Girlfriend, best friend, whatever. But…again, going back to what Mrs. Noceda said, it’s good to talk about it. And I think you should... If you want to.”

“I’m not good with feelings. Or talking about them.”

“I’m not either. But I think we’re doing fine right now.”

“That’s…” Amity dried her face with the back of her hand. “A good point, actually." The blond smiled softly. Thanks, Hunter.”

“Anytime…” He then stood up from the table, to give her some space to breathe, and also to take the plates to the kitchen. 

But, fighting against her sorrow, Amity shook her head a couple of times and stood up as well, grabbing her own plate and glass. 

“Wait, let me help you.”

And this, she did.

Hunter continued to smile reassuringly, and returned to his silence. 

A more comfortable and gentle one, this time around.

—

Gathering the courage to speak with Willow was harder in reality than it was in theory. And that was saying something, because the mere thought of doing it was already terrifying. Still, Amity knew that the golden guard was right. She had to, eventually. And since at the moment Luz’s realm was a safer place than the Isles, there was nowhere better to do it. She just had to wait for the right time.

Which came about two days later, when Camila asked her and Willow if they could go to the store and buy some ingredients to make “empanadas” - a turnover which the Hexsquad absolutely loved since trying it for the first time, many months ago-. Amity had a pretty bad meltdown when they discovered that the store had run out of the cassava dough that Camila had requested. She stopped breathing in the middle of the aisle and nearly passed out. Panicked when her best friend tried to comfort her. Willow, thankfully, understood that her explosive reaction wasn't really aimed at her, and eventually managed to calm Amity down. Then, she called Camila, and asked if regular flour based pastry dough could be used as a replacement. The veterinarian agreed and the issue was soon resolved. But Amity’s nerves were still on edge once they left the store. And she knew that Willow noticed it, because it was impossible not to.

Which is why the pink haired girl decided to apologize for her little freak out as they made their way back to the Noceda's home.

“I’m sorry for what happened back there.” She pushed her hair behind her ear with her free hand, and kept her gaze low, ashamed of herself. “I snapped at you, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s okay. I’ve already forgiven you.”

“But you shouldn’t…” 

“Sorry, what was that?”

Amity slowly stopped walking.

“You shouldn’t have forgiven me. Not for that, not for the way I used to behave, not for anything…”

Willow, whom had already realized that her anxiety stemmed from something bigger than just pastry dough, also halted her steps. She turned her body around to face Amity, and waited for a bigger explanation. When nothing came, she decided to break the silence herself:

“But I have. You’ve proven to me you've changed. So why wouldn’t I?” Dark thoughts ran through the younger Blight’s mind. Willow could see them as if they were tangible, since she knew that girl so well. “You haven’t been sleeping…”

“Huh?”

“I’ve noticed. And I’ve heard you muttering stuff when you actually do. Really concerning stuff too… You’re having nightmares, aren’t you?” 

Amity sighed. Looked up.

“Yeah.”

“About… Odalia.”

“Yes.” Amity saw Willow frown, and took that as an opportunity to better explain her strange behaviour: “And… I kinda wanted to talk about that with you. About… the content and context of some of those nightmares… Because I think you deserve to know what really was going on between me and her when we weren’t speaking. But, at the same time, I don’t want you to think that I’m somehow trying to play victim, and make me seem like I was right for doing all the crap that I did to you…”

“Aims.” The nickname was one that the other witch hadn’t heard Willow call her in a long time. It immediately made her stop rambling. “I won’t think that.”

“You sure? Because it’s a lot…”

Amity didn’t have to go into further details to make Willow understand what “A lot” meant. She got it. So many things had happened in their time apart, that the green witch probably wouldn’t be able to wrap her head around half of it. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to… but, if you do want to, I’m here to listen. We can take our time. Luz even showed me a detour to get to her house a little later than usual. She said she walks through that path when she needs to think about something on her own. Wanna try it?”

Amity took a deep breath in, and nodded slowly.

“Okay… Yeah."

And then, then did just that. Walked around slowly, as she struggled, but kept trying, to get the stubborn words she needed to say out of her mouth. Willow stayed quiet through most of her terrified speech. Payed attention to every single detail Amity shared, no matter how worrying they were. And, once she was done, at last was able to understand why her best friend had been so paranoid over being the “perfect, straight A’s student” for so many years. 

It never was about ego. It was about fear. And yes, she was a people pleaser. That was a natural Amity trait. But there was a reason for that trait to have become a full flaw. There was a reason for her to have become a bully. And Willow could see that now.

“And… that’s why I acted the way I acted. I’m sorry though. For my arrogance. For hurting you… I shouldn’t have. I never should have.”

“Aims…” The pink haired witch tensed up after hearing the nickname again, not knowing how her friend would react. She kept walking though. Until Willow grabbed her wrist, and made her stop walking. “Wait…”

“What?”

The plants’ witch took a deep breath in. Released her wrist. And slowly moved forward, giving enough time for the other girl to bolt.

But Amity didn’t. She accepted the hug in silence, and clinged to her best friend like this was the first hug she'd every received in her whole life. 

The wind blew softly around them. The fallen leaves on the ground danced in circles. It would rain soon, for sure. But they didn’t move, not for a handful of minutes. Both needed that embrace, more than they needed air to breathe. 

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”

“I already told you, Willow… It didn’t want to make you think that I was somehow excusing my past.”

“I get it, but…” The green witch parted from her for a second. “I wouldn’t think that.”

“You say that now… But the truth is, I gained your distrust. I destroyed our friendship. And back when we started talking again, I know how you would have reacted if I..." Pause. "If had shared all of this with you.”

Willow didn’t want to accept it, but she knew that Amity was right. She wouldn’t have reacted nicely back then. Years of bullying and disappointment made her wary of her friend’s intentions. But now, with the passage of time, her thoughts, fears, and attitude were different. They had made amends. She knew Amity wasn’t lying, or trying to trick her. She knew that every single thing she said had indeed happened. And Titan, how Willow was furious with  Odalia! And with Alador, for the matter! He could say that he didn’t notice his wife’s abuse, but how blind did he have to be? How obtuse? In retrospect, it was right there! In front of everyone’s noses!

But, above all, Willow was angry at herself. Because while yes, she couldn’t have done anything while they were “enemies”, she could have done something when they began to patch up their relationship and settle their differences. Becaus she knew, deep down, that something was wrong with Amity.

She saw how scared her best friend became when someone approached her out of the blue. How easy it was to frighten her, period. How overblown her reactions to the tiniest problems were. How she’d always think someone was out to get her. How she believed everything was her fault, when in actuality, nothing was.

And of course, there were other specific examples: What happened at the store, for starters. How excessively pale she’d become when Hunter removed his gloves for the first time, and showed them and their friends his scars. The fact that, in all the time they were together since making up, she’d never seen Amity wear sleeveless shirts anymore, even when they’d gone to the human beach… her nightmares.

There were many signs.

Too many for her to have ignored.

“Still… I’m sorry for not saying anything. For not trying to help.” Willow hugged her again. “But I do hope that, from now on, you know that I’m here to hear you. If you want to talk… I’m here.”

“Thanks.” Amity held her tighter. “And the same goes for you… I know we joke around a lot, and call you the ‘mom’ of the group, but you also need support. So, if you need it… you know where to find it.”

Willow nodded. Only ended the hug when the first raindrops started to fall. It was weird, not to be wounded by any of them.

“We should get going.”

“Yeah…” Amity dried her face quickly and smiled at her friend. “Let’s go.”

—

Gus was the next person to find out about the pink haired witch's secret family history. They were washing the dishes in the kitchen, when by accident, a glass slipped from her hand and shattered on the ground. Everyone else was busy talking in the living room, while watching something in the square crystal ball that Luz called a “soccer game”, so they didn’t notice the far away sound, between their whistling and shouting. 

Gus didn’t seem all that bothered by the event. Sure, they didn’t want to break anything, but it clearly was an accident, and Camila would at most be annoyed by their clumsiness, not angry. 

But he’d lived under the protection and love of a father that actually cared for him, and taught him that, sometimes, mistakes just happened. Amity, however, had a different take on what would happen next. She felt the punishment before anything was even said, or done. So, without thinking, as Gus moved away to grab a broom and dustpan, she crouched down with a swift motion, and tried to fix her mess with her bare hands. 

In her current unwell and shaking state, doing so was the worst thing possible. She cut her finger with a shard, and hissed as blood stained the ground. Gus heard the pained sound and spun around, before he could even grab what he needed.

“Amity! What happened!”

“Shh!!!... I’m f-fine!… Let’s c-clean this up before someone notices and w-we get in trouble!”

“Hey, NO!” He stopped her from trying to grab the broken glass again. “Let’s not do that…”

“B-But…”

“Breathe. You’re going to pass out.” Gus pointed out, standing up and pulling her with him. “Come on, sit here. And follow my instructions.” He moved her to the nearest chair. “Take a deep breath in… Then out…” Amity did as she told. It wasn't easy, but she tried. “Good. You keep doing that. I’m going to grab a towel and call Camila real quick…”

“D-DON’T!” She begged, grabbing him by instinct, and worsening the state of her finger. “Argh!”

“Okay, calm down, calm down... If you don't want her here, I’ll only grab the towel. Don't worry. But please, try to focus on your breathing.” 

Gus had plenty of practice helping Hunter come back down to earth after one of his regular night terrors, but this was different. With his bunk buddy, he had some knowledge about this past traumas. Amity was a tightly closed book. So he had to carefully open the pages, all cracked and yellowed by the years of repression, and hope that the whole thing didn’t fall apart while he tried to repair the damage.

Spotting a paper towel roll nearby, Gus grabbed it, pulled a few sheets free, and started to apply pressure over the cut. This was only a temporary measure, of course. He needed to stop the bleeding, clean the area, and then bandaged it. But making sure Amity didn’t spiral into a full blown panic attack came first.

“Hey, let’s do something that my dad taught me. It will help you relax... Tell me five things you can see.”

“W-What?”

“Just do it, come on. Tell me five things you can see.”

“The kitchen…”

“What’s in the kitchen?”

“The toaster… The oven… The micro-something…”

“Microwave. You’re doing great. One more thing.”

“The d-dishes…”

“Good. Now four things you can touch.”

Amity gulped.

“The chair… My c-clothes… The p-paper… The table…”

“That’s it. Now three things you can hear.”

“Outside… the rain. The cheers in the… living room. The clock.”

“You’re doing great, we're almost done.” Gus smiled at her, reassuringly. “Two things you can smell.”

“Detergent… blood…”

“Alright, that was grim. But it counts! One thing you can taste, and we’re over.”

“The taste… of the leftover empanadas…”

“You did it! Do you feel better?”

Amity took yet another deep breath in. 

She didn't. Not a lot.

But lying came to her as easy as breathing, especially if she was afraid of getting into trouble.

“I think so…”

“Then stay here, and keep applying pressure on your finger. I’ll go grab the first aid kit in the bathroom. Don’t try to clean up everything yourself, or you’ll end up getting hurt again. And we don’t want that. Also, if someone comes by, don’t worry. Accidents happen. No one will scold you for something like this. Trust me.”

She nodded.

“Thanks, Gus.”

“Anytime.” 

Then, she was alone. And the pile of sharps on the floor seemed to be staring back at her. She had to do something. Maybe conjure an abomination and make it pick it up? She did carry a flask with some purple slime with her, in case of any emergency. Yes, Belos was gone, but who knew what kind of evil twisted villain would appear next to take his place. She had to be ready for any threats. She wouldn't let her friends be harmed by anyone again, not if she could help it. 

But before she could reach for it, her plan was ruined by someone appearing in the doorway. It was Willow, carrying an empty bowl of popcorn. 

“Amity?... What happened?”

“I…”

The green witch looked around. Noticed the glass and the blood on the ground. Saw the stained paper that wrapped her friend’s finger. Instantly, she put two and two together. 

“Where’s Gus?”

“He went upstairs… To grab the first aid kit.”

“Hm.” Willow set the bowl over the countertop. “And are you okay?”

“It’s just a cut… I’ve had worse.” Amity whispered the last part, looking away right as her mouth stopped moving.

“Just because you’ve gone through something bad, it doesn’t mean that you have to grow accustomed to it.”

“I guess…” The girl said, then shook her head. “No. It’s not a guess. You’re right... I shouldn't.”

“Of course I am.” Willow made her smile briefly, and sat down next to her. Then, grabbed her best friend's healthy hand, and held it for support. 

Gus came back to the kitchen running, bringing what he needed to patch up her finger. Amity watched him clean the wound it in silence. This time around, she didn’t even flinch when she registered the pain.  

Althought, once he was done, she felt the need to speak up once more:

“Hey…”

“Hm? What’s wrong? Is the band-aid too tight?”

“No, it’s not that… I just… I want to tell you something. I’m trying to get better at communicating with you guys, and… this is part of it. Willow knows it... And since she's here, and this happened, I figured... This is the right time.”

“You’re being awfully cryptic right now... I’m lost, not gonna lie.”

Amity tried to find her courage. Looked up at Willow, then at Gus, then at the ceilling - for a moment-. And when she at last found some of her inner strength, she started explaining to him why she’d freaked out so much over a simple broken glass. 

By the end of her tale, which was way less detailed than the one she'd shared with Willow, a few days ago, she found herself sandwiched between her two friends, trapped in a hug she never wanted to end. 

Amity felt like she didn’t deserved such reward, after that... incident. But didn’t shy away from their affection, like she would have, in the past. 

And by all means, that was progress.

—

Talking to Camila and Vee about her past was next. But, for some reason, she dreaded the older woman’s reaction the most. It was irrational, really. She knew Luz’s mom was a great person, and that she would never, in a billion years, side with Odalia, or understand her reasoning. But still, the fear that such a thing might happen was there, lurking.

Maybe Camila would think that Luz deserved better than to be with someone so mentally fragile. Maybe, she would think that Amity’s presence in her life was a hindrance to her daughter's own mental health journey. Maybe, she secretly hated the witch all along…

And that, Amity knew, was her own self-doubt speaking over her reason. But alas, her inner battle still went on. Reality, versus fear, versus possibility. It never seemed to end. 

The witch told Vee the truth after she confided in Amity about her terrible days under Belos’ control. Just like it had happened with Hunter, they realized they both had more in common than they’d previously thought. 

In fact, Vee was the one who motivated Amity to speak with Camila:

“She’ll understand you… I know she understood me, when I spilled the beans and cried all over her shirt.”

And the basilisk was right. One particular night, when her memories came back to haunt her, Amity folded. Feeling as if she was going to die, she knocked on Camila’s door and asked for help. She didn’t want to bother anyone else, and the older woman was by far the most equipped of their group to help with any urgent health issues, so… It was only logical. 

Turns out, the witch wasn’t dying after all. That was good. Her anxiety had just spiked and spiralled out of control. But, following more breathing exercises, and focusing only on Camila’s voice, she was able to calm down, eventually.

Talking after that was… easier. 

Not easy, because it never would be. But opening up to her other friends had prepared her more for this delicate moment.

Amity spoke, and Camila listened.  And for once in her life, she felt the true support and love of a mother. The hug she got from the veterinarian, and the words of comfort she heard from her mouth warmed her heart in a way she’d never believed possible - not by the sayings and doings of a parental figure, at least-.

That left… Luz.

Her girlfriend was the only one out of the loop.

But of course, Amity didn’t want to throw more things into her already full plate of tragedies. Her beloved sweet potato had gone through enough. 

“You still should talk to her…” Willow said, as they discussed this fact alone, walking around the woods to pass the time. “If you want her to open up about her own struggles, you have to be sincere too. You can't demand something without giving something in return.”

“Ugh… I hate it when you’re right.” 

Amity didn’t, not really. And her best friend knew it. 

They kept talking about other things while they strolled through the pines and bushes. But Willow’s wisdom didn’t leave the younger Blight’s brain alone, for a single moment. And, a few hours later, when the sun came down and the moon started to peek through the clouds, they also motivated her to sit down with her girlfriend in the old shack and at last, come clean.

The rest of the Hexsquad had already gone to bed. Camila was sleeping, after a long day of work. But Luz wasn’t tired, and Amity wasn’t either. So, they both did something that the pink haired witch never thought they’d do: break Mrs. Noceda’s rule of never leaving her home after curfew.

It’s not like they were going to do anything illegal, or… sexual. They weren’t ready for that yet. And only thinking about it made Amity blush so much she began to overheat and feel sick. 

But they did need some time alone. To talk. To process all the chaos of the past few months. And of course, to act like the lovey dovey couple that they were. 

Luz sat down on the purple pouf and brough Amity down with her, so they could cuddle while they spoke. The inside of the shack was rather chilly, because of the broken windows and loose floorboards, so the physical closeness was nice. Besides, laying like this, alone and without any worries, was very relaxing. Nearly therapeutic. It was another thing that the two girls desperately needed.

But talking was the priority. They both understood that they couldn’t keep ignoring their problems forever. They were in a relationship, after all, and communication was key if they wanted it to last.

“Amity… There’s something I wanted to tell you.” Luz half-whispered, as one of her hands caressed her girlfriend’s back and shoulder. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to do it, but it never seems like it arrives… And after I thought about it a lot, I realized that there won’t be a right time... Ever.”

“You're worrying me. What’s wrong?” The purple witch raised her head from her girlfriend's chest, to look her darling human in the eyes.

“Well… Something happened during our final battle with Belos. And it… wasn’t good. So I didn’t want to tell you, and scare you, because I’m okay right now, but… I have to. We promised each other to be more transparent, and I’m going to try. But I need you to promise me back that you won’t freak out, or get mad at me, okay?… It just happened. I wasn’t looking for it, I didn’t want it to happen, and…”

“Luz. It’s okay. You can tell me.”

The human blinked a few times. Amity saw tears pooling in her eyes, and shifted her position again, so she could catch the ones that fell with her thumb.

“D-Do you remember that strange goo that covered the Isles? The one Belos created?”

“Yes…”

“I was swallowed by it too. And… I kinda… died?” 

Suddenly, it was like the whole world stopped spinning. Like the air had been punched out of Amity’s lungs, and was refusing to go back in. Like the fabric of reality was splitting right in front of her eyes and she couldn’t do a single thing to stitch it back together.

“Wait... W-What?”

She didn’t move away, though. Her first instinct was to do it, but she fought hard against her need to put up a wall between her and the cause of her inner turmoil, because this was Luz. She wasn’t going to hide, or run, from Luz. 

Her girlfriend seems deeply wounded, traumatized, and terrified.

She couldn't leave her, or push her way, in any way shape or form. 

“I was stuck in the space in-between realms for a bit…" The girl in question explained, still keeping her volume low and gentle. "King’s dad was there too, and he pulled me out of the pool of darkness… He told me he’d been there for quite some time. And after rescuing me, he gave me the last bit of life he had left so I could leave that place, and stop Belos. That’s how I came back... He died, and I… lived.”

And now it was Amity’s turn to cry. She didn’t even notice that the tears were falling down her face, until Luz dried them with her hand.

“So those lights we saw… Those spheres…”

“Yeah. That was me.”

Another direct hit to her heart. 

“Luz, I…”

Amity couldn’t finish her sentence. Mostly because she couldn’t even gather her thoughts. Luz had been gone. For a moment there, she had actually died . And yes, now she was back, but… she could have left them, forever.

The idea made her physically sick.

And her sickness only got worse when she realized that it could have been part of her current reality.

She needed to say something. She needed to do something. But, since she couldn't talk, and her brain couldn’t function properly, she did the only thing that felt right for her to do: went back to snuggling Luz, and hugged her so tight that she almost broke a few of her favorite human’s ribs. 

“It’s okay, hermosa…” The other girl patted her head, and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m fine now.”

“B-But we could have lost you! I could have lost you!...” Amity complained, sounding more desperate and heartbroken than mad. “And you… y-you…”

“What?”

The witch at last broke down. She couldn’t keep her emotions in check anymore. She tried. She really did, for her sake, and Luz's. But this... this was too much to handle. Her grip got even tighter as her shoulders shook, and for once, her girlfriend didn’t try to calm her down. She allowed Amity to sob, and even wept with her, because the situation was, under all parameters, horrible.

They didn’t know how long they stayed like this, clinging onto each other like they were the only truly valuable thing in the world, but once the tears had dried, and their souls started to feel a little less heavy, their conversation was resumed:

“I know it may be too soon for me to say this, but, while I was there in that strange realm, I realized something… And I need to share it with you, because not doing so was one of my biggest regrets when I was there, looking at my past, and dreading my future…” Luz’s voice, although cracking at times, was mostly clear and straightforward. “I love you, Amity. As a friend, as a girlfriend… just you, in general. I need you to know that."

The witch, closing her eyes and burying her face against the crook of her neck, could have started sobbing again, right then and there. But she focused on giving Luz her reply first, and by doing so, avoided another breakdown:

“I love you too… S-So much…”

Luz smiled. Kissed the crown of her head. 

They stayed quiet for a few more moments, just letting the pain linger, instead of pushing it away. They had to feel it. Otherwise, it would be shelved with the other terrible emotions and memories they didn’t know what to do with, and they’d feel even worse than they did now, later. 

Around fifteen minutes had passed when Amity’s voice ended the silence that took over the shack:

“I also have something to tell you… And it isn’t good either. But you deserve to know… because I don’t want to keep hiding anything, from anyone. Especially from you.”

Luz, although worried, nodded and gave her space to explain herself. 

Like Willow, she felt like killing Odalia with her bare hands after listening to Amity’s tale. That abusive, wretched woman needed a bigger punishment than just a divorce. She’d hurt her kids, manipulated her husband, and helped Belos with the Day of Unity. Scorn and shame weren’t enough. Being banished from the Isles wasn’t enough. No amount of wrath place upon her name would ever be enough to make her pay. And, if Luz could, she’d drown her in the waters of the in-between realms herself…

And while yes, that thought was dark, it was also the truth.

She didn’t want to see Odalia ever again, and she wouldn’t let that cursed woman approach her girlfriend either. 

“Amity, I’m so, so sorry that any of this happened. It shouldn’t have. Not with you, or with Em, or Edric… I mean, not even your dad deserved being hurt by her!...” Luz stopped carding her pink hair with her fingers, to add: “If she ever tries to do anything to you again, you fight, you run away, and you come to the Owl House, okay? We’ll deal with her. I’ll deal with her. And if you ever need to talk more about this…”

“I know you’ll listen.” Amity completed the thought, with a heavy sigh. “I know…”

“I’m here for you. All of us are.” The human kissed her head again. “Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t…” The witch raised her eyes to Luz’s again, and mustered enough strength to smile at her, despite her blurry eyes and her puffy face, reddened by her tears. “And I hope you won’t either. I’m here too.”

Their next kiss was a short peck on the mouth. The one that followed, a longer and more heartfelt one. Then, they pressed their foreheads together. Held onto each other for a long while. And finally, when the cold air of the night turned unbearable and the shack completely turned into a freezer, decided to walk back to the Noceda’s home, hand in hand.

They still had a lot of things to talk about. A lot of hurt, shame, and regret to sort through.

But this was a start. 

And that was enough.