Chapter Text
Garrus needs to hurt someone.
The punching bag in the Normandy’s gym isn’t doing enough for him.
Maybe he needs to go back to Omega for a while and deal with the gangs and lowlifes there. Maybe it would be easier than staying here.
The doors across the room slide open. Garrus looks up to see who’s joining him, and all thoughts of leaving the Normandy disappear from his head.
Two years ago, he thought he lost the human female striding toward him now, and that tragedy broke him. Garrus gave up on his ambitions, his career, choosing instead the path of a rogue vigilante.
His old life didn’t matter if she wasn’t with him.
And Garrus refuses to go through anything like that again.
Not when he has this second chance, not when she’s right in front of him.
He’s not leaving this ship unless he’s taking her with him.
But he knows she’ll never run away with him. Running away from trouble isn’t in her nature. She likes to jump right in the middle of it, and so long as she’s doing that, he’ll be right there with her.
He needs to be with her.
He doesn’t belong anywhere else.
He wants to be by her side…and he can’t help it, but he wants to be in her bed…even if he shouldn’t be. Turians and humans aren’t entirely compatible. He may hurt her or her body chemistry may not be able to handle a turian’s if they try to have sex, but he’d be content just holding her, knowing she’s there beside him at night.
She draws nearer, and he tries to push the confused thoughts from his head.
“Shepard,” Garrus says, his voice rougher than he intends.
“Did that punching bag do something to hurt your feelings?” his commander asks.
Garrus looks back at the bag and takes in the sizable dent he’s created. “Just needed to let off some steam,” he answers.
He doesn’t mention he was thinking about Kaidan Alenko’s face as he was punching.
“Do you want a sparring partner?” Shepard offers.
Garrus knows he has to refuse.
If he goes near her right now, he won’t stop until he has her pinned against a wall—her lithe body pressed against his. He wonders if he could make her come with his fingers or his tongue. Would a human be able to handle that from a turian? Or would she be safer if he just used toys on her? Would she enjoy that—or would she wish she had a human lover to satisfy her?
Garrus doesn’t know why these inconvenient thoughts keep entering his brain.
He’s never been attracted to a human before Shepard—but then again, he’s never met anyone like his commander. He wants to spread her out on her bed and make her come until she forgets about their run-in with Alenko on Horizon.
Garrus wants her to know she’s his Shepard, and he’d do anything for her.
Alenko’s an idiot if he can’t see she’s still the same Shepard.
But Garrus also recognizes she’s his commanding officer, and he doubts she’d ever want a turian—especially not a scarred one who’s failed so many times in life.
“I think I’m done with training for the day,” he says.
“Right. Of course,” Shepard replies, a hint of sadness in her human voice. “I’ll leave you to your evening.”
She begins to turn, and Garrus wants to punch himself this time. Why does he have to be such a fool around her? She wants company. Alenko abandoned her today, but that’s not what Garrus is going to do.
“Shepard—wait,” he says, and she rotates on her heel.
Garrus needs to stop wondering what it would feel like to have those heels wrapped around his back. Would a fleshy human like her be able to handle a turian cock at all—let alone at that angle? Would she even want that?
“Something I can do for you, Garrus?” Shepard asks.
Again, he shoves all inappropriate thoughts to the back of his mind—or at least he tries to. “I was just wondering,” he begins, “have you decided on our next mission?”
Missions feel like safe ground.
“I was planning on going through our options tonight,” she answers. “Care to join me?”
“I’d like that,” he says. “Let me clean up first, then I’ll meet you?”
Shepard’s eyes linger on him, and Garrus wonders what she sees. Do the scars make him hideous? Does she find all turians unattractive?
“Come up to my quarters when you’re ready,” she says.
“Your quarters?” he repeats.
On the old Normandy, they use to meet in the navigation room or the debriefing room. He never received an invite to her quarters.
“Mordin keeps tracking me down to ask me random human biology questions,” she replies. “The only place he doesn’t stop by is my quarters. Does that work for you, or do you want him to start asking you about turian biology?”
“I’ll pass,” Garrus replies. “I’ll see you in your quarters, Shepard.”
She nods then exits the room.
Garrus takes a deep breath. Her scent still lingers in the air—just like it used to when she’d visit him in the hangar of the old Normandy.
The new Normandy smells different, but Shepard—her aroma is just as pleasant to his nostrils as it was two years ago…before he lost her.
How could Alenko not see that? Even if his human olfactory glands aren’t as sensitive as a turian’s—she’s still Shepard. Alenko would have to be blind not to see that.
It doesn’t matter, Garrus tells himself as he heads to the shower. He knows who Shepard really is, and he’s not losing her again.
~~~
Jane makes her way up to her quarters and checks her communication terminal.
Several messages wait for her attention.
The Illusive Man offers his thoughts on her mission to Horizon.
The Alliance wants to know if she’ll do them a favor. They won’t admit she’s not a villain, but they’re willing to use her whenever they can.
And Mordin is asking about her schedule. He wants to run more tests on her. The scars on her body are healing at an unprecedented rate. Mordin doesn’t know how Cerberus achieved this, but if he can replicate it, who knows what ailments he might be able to cure with her DNA.
She’s been a lab rat for the last two years. A bit more poking and prodding shouldn’t bother her. Everyone sees her as some kind of twisted science experiment anyway—she may as well live up to that reputation.
Kaidan wanted to call her a monster today. Jane could tell. That’s the reaction everyone seems to have when they meet her.
Everyone except Garrus.
He looks at her just as he did two years ago—almost as if he can’t see her scars.
She knows he’s self-conscious about his own injuries, but she doesn’t see those either. She only sees Garrus, and just like in the old days, she feels safe around him.
Jane should’ve asked him out back then. Why did she always act like a commanding officer around him?
Sometimes she just wants to ignore her rank and let a partner take the lead in a relationship…and in bed.
But Jane knows she could only do that with someone she trusts—and the only person she trusts that much is a turian who may have no interest in humans.
There’s interspecies protection they could use, and some turians like asari so there could be a chance they could figure this out. Jane even asked Mordin as subtly as she could whether she could have a relationship with someone from another species after everything Cerberus did to her.
She’s still waiting for the results from those tests, and now Mordin keeps sending her vids on how a human female can have sex with other species. But he still hasn’t sent her one with a turian.
Will the scientist notice that she’s only going to watch the turian vid?
And what does it even matter if Garrus doesn’t want her?
Maybe she just needs to accept the fact that the person she’s closest to may just want to be friends.
For now, though, there’s an ache between her legs from watching Garrus take out his aggression on that punching bag. She probably has enough time to find release with her fingers before Garrus joins her, even if she knows she’d prefer that Turian between her legs.
~~~
The Salarian stops him in the hallway after Garrus has cleaned up.
“Vakarian,” the scientist says. “Have you seen the commander?”
“Not recently,” Garrus replies, omitting the fact that he knows where she’s supposed to be right now.
“I’ve just gone through the latest data on her Cerberus modifications, and I believe she’ll want to know what I’ve found.”
Garrus knows she’s the real Shepard, but the fact that Cerberus brought her back still bothers him. He doesn’t doubt Shepard—he never could. But he does worry the Illusive Man and his henchmen may have done something to hurt her.
“What did you find?” Garrus demands.
“I believe I should share this information with the Commander only.”
Garrus’ patience is thin. “Is she in danger? Did Cerberus do something that will put her at risk?”
“Possibly.”
That one word is enough to push Garrus over the edge. He grabs the Salarian by the collar and shoves him against the nearest wall. “What did you find?”
“They modified her body—in particular areas where she might take in or secrete bodily fluids,” Mordin answers. “Based on these changes, she can have sex with any species without concern about an allergic reaction. Also, her body would be unlikely to cause her partner to experience an allergic reaction.”
Garrus drops the scientist. He doesn’t understand what he just heard. “What? But you said she might be at risk because of what you found.”
“That’s correct,” Mordin replies, straightening his shirt. “With this modification, it’s possible that Shepard may enter into a physical relationship with someone from a different species. Some species are more aggressive with their partners than Shepard may be used to. Hence, she may be at risk because of this Cerberus modification.”
Garrus isn’t going to let anyone hurt his Shepard.
And he’s not going to let anyone enter into a relationship with her who doesn’t deserve her.
He strides to the elevator, not thinking about another implication of Mordin’s discovery until the doors slide closed.
Shepard won’t have an allergic reaction if she has sex with a turian.
~~~
Garrus doesn’t work up the nerve to tell her what Mordin found.
They go over Cerberus’ suggested missions, sitting closely on Shepard’s sofa.
She’s right there, wearing some kind of thin fabric. It’s not like the armor she wears on missions. Garrus’ retractable claws could rip through this material without even trying.
There’s also a scent he’s picking up on tonight that’s entirely Shepard. He can smell traces of it on her right hand and more between her legs, and he wants to bury his nostrils in the aroma once her clothes are gone.
If she knew he wouldn’t make her sick just because he’s turian, would she let him touch her?
Would she let him lick every inch of her body?
“So do you think we should go after the assassin next?” Shepard asks, and Garrus realizes he hasn’t been paying as much attention to their conversation as he should.
“If you think that’s our best course,” Garrus replies.
“I’m not sure what to think,” Shepard says. “Maybe the Justicar would be the better option.”
Garrus has watched asari flirt with Shepard before. His commander never seemed interested, but he doesn’t want to push his luck. Asari can be seductive—more seductive than Garrus could ever be. He wants time to win Shepard over to the idea of being with him.
Drell often keep to themselves, and an assassin? Garrus doubts Shepard would look twice at this new recruit. She’s not interested in murderers. She’s too good for that.
“A Justicar will only kill the unjust,” Garrus tells her. “An assassin may kill anyone if the price is right. We may stop a few deaths if we go with the Drell first.”
“Good point,” she replies. “Should we take Mordin or Grunt with us?”
“Not Miranda?” Garrus asks. He doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t want Shepard spending more time with the males on this ship than she has to.
Shepard takes a drink from the glass of human alcohol she has on the table. “Miranda was there when I woke up,” she says. “It’s stupid—but I can’t shake the feeling she’s watching me. Like I’m some damn science experiment.”
“You’re not,” Garrus says firmly, placing his hand on her knee and squeezing.
“But I know I am,” she replies. “There were only pieces of me left after the last Normandy was destroyed. Cerberus rebuilt me into who knows what.”
“You still smell like Shepard to me.”
Her lips curl upward, and Garrus recognizes the gesture. Humans call it a smile, and he’s seen Shepard do that when Joker makes one of his snide comments…or when she takes a clean shot on the firing range…or when she realized that he was Archangel.
Her smile was broadest then—when they were reunited. He wanted to keep her lips spread that wide, but it was short-lived. One of the Cerberus agents behind her spoke, and a hard look appeared on her face. She returned to the task at hand, and he didn’t see a smile from her again until he told her he’d survived Mordin’s treatment after those gangs tried to wipe him out.
There was a hint of a smile on Horizon—when she spotted Alenko, but that faded the moment that stupid human expressed his doubts in her.
Garrus would never doubt her…and he’d do anything to make her smile.
“Let’s take Grunt with us,” he suggests. The Krogan is too young to be interested in Shepard. At that age, his kind only wants to fight, and they definitely aren’t inclined to pursue a human female.
“It’ll almost be like the old days,” she says. “Do you think Grunt will cause as much trouble as Wrex used to?”
Now it’s Garrus’ turn to offer the turian equivalent of a smile. “We can only hope he’s that much trouble. The mission would be boring otherwise.”
“Yes, it would,” Shepard agrees, before her eyes fix on his. “Do you want—”
A ping from the communication terminal interrupts her question. Garrus wants to know what she was going to ask, but the noise draws her attention away. She looks at the screen, and all traces of the smile disappear.
“I need to deal with this,” she says.
“Do you want me to stay?” he offers.
“It’s complicated,” Shepard says quietly, before she once again wears the commander’s face. “You should go. Get some rest before the mission tomorrow. I need you on your game. I’m counting on you to make sure I don’t walk into any assassin’s crosshairs.”
“I’ll never let that happen, Shepard,” Garrus promises. The worst mistake he ever made was leaving her on the Normandy with Alenko. He should have been there. He might’ve had two more years with her if he’d just stayed with her.
He won’t let the same mistake happen again.
He’ll go tonight—but he’s not going far.
~~~
Jane reads the message header again.
From: Kaidan Alenko
Opening the text, she sees his attempt at an apology for Horizon. But then he writes about how he just wants to move on, and her reappearance makes things difficult for him.
Jane wants to tell him she didn’t ask to be brought back to life. Someone else made that decision for her, and it’s too bad Kaidan’s life is worse off because she’s breathing again.
There was never anything between her and Kaidan. Yes, she could tell he was interested, but the entire time she knew Kaidan, Jane wanted someone else.
Someone who’s now downstairs ready to go on another mission with her tomorrow.
Garrus never doubted her. Back then, he knew she would bring down Saren and the Reapers. Now, he knows she’ll stop the Collectors.
Would it be crossing a line to ask him to come back up here and hold her?
But Jane knows she wants to be more than held by the Turian. Perhaps held down and fucked senseless would be the better way of putting it…followed by strong arms wrapped around her as they sleep, but how does she tell Garrus that?
And should she really distract him with this right now?
They have important missions to deal with and an assassin to track down tomorrow. She shouldn’t be selfish and beg for Garrus’ time right now.
Jane needs to focus on the task at hand and stop fantasizing about a teammate who may just want to keep their relationship platonic.
She pulls up the the file on the Drell again and tries to figure out how she’ll convince him to join their team.