Work Text:
-- gigglyTwintails [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 22:02 --
GT: hiii!!! (^-^*)/
GT: i hope this isn’t weird or anything... i totally trawled your page like a stalker to find your chumhandle lol but my friend sent me one of your remixes and i thought it was so sick.
GT: i think i annoyed the shit out of my parents because i wouldn’t stop playing the same three songs over and over. soooo i guess i was wondering if you have more of your music posted somewhere else?? or if you’re working on anything else???
GT: or.... if you’d want to chat?? my jams aren’t as good as yours obv but i don’t have anyone else to talk music with. all the girls i know will implode if they don’t have a constant stream of top 40 going at all times.
TG: hey
TG: always nice to meet a fan
TG: which songs did you like
GT: um. all of them? does that sound totally noobish of me? o.o
GT: “time to bust this coney yall” was the one my friend sent me and i think it has been imprinted on my ear drums at this point. maybe that’s my favorite! but i was honestly obsessed with the whole ep.
GT: picking faves off a project is soooo difficult for me because it’s like... an entire experience you know? the songs were meant to be listened to with all the others!
TG: thats so rad man
TG: the key to making good art is to put your soul into it ironically
TG: mean it but dont really mean it if you know what i mean
TG: all the chicks i know are so lame and dont get real music
TG: at least they dont stan taylor swift if you know what i mean
GT: well i’m not even THAT lucky. all the girls my age are completely possessed by the sellout spirit of vapid pop bullshit. it is seriously tragic.
GT: taylor swift is, like... the harbinger of mediocrity. she has no soul to put into anything ironic or otherwise.
TG: youre so right
TG: did you know shes the number one global individual for carbon emissions
TG: somewhere the lorax is crying autotuned tears
TG: unlike my music which is just deep and soulful enough to express myself and bring in chicks by the kfc bucketload
TG: how old did you say you were again
GT: i didn’t!
GT: i’m 13.
GT: i hope that’s not weird haha. i saw your age on your profile, and i know some guys get pretty nervous about talking to younger girls. even in a totally normal way!
GT: but, trust me, i have a ton of older internet friends so you have nothing to stress about. i guess i just fit in better with people a bit more worldly, you know? :v
TG: right
TG: totally normal
TG: im telling you the world is on a pedophilia craze
TG: accusations right and left like its the salem witch trials
TG: what happened to the simple and chaste intergenerational relationships of olde
TG: this is why kids these days have no respect for their elders and are obsessed with toilets
TG: if we brought back huddling around the fire in a cave thatd foster the community and the problems people sing about wouldnt be so dogshit
GT: i know right!!
GT: i feel like that stuff is so overblown. back in the day, musicians had LOTS of intergenerational relationships, and nobody batted an eye!
GT: that’s definitely why music has taken such a total nose dive. instead of finding that community, people are so caught up with all these silly made-up rules about who they’re allowed to like or whatever. it’s basically fascism.
TG: youre oddly enlightened for a thirteen year old girl
TG: but i like it
TG: they dont make models like you anymore
GT: haha you think?
GT: usually people do suspect i’m a lot older than i am!!
GT: but... thank you!! it means a lot more coming from you. being a superfan and all lolz.
TG: a superfan
TG: i can see it
TG: listening on the bus with your earbuds in
TG: toast in mouth
TG: well i shouldnt be surprised that a pretty girl like you is into my music
TG: i checked out your profile but its totally blank
TG: says you made it today
GT: welllll ok.
GT: this is sort of embarrassing but i don’t really use this chat client.
GT: i kind of... made this account just so i could talk to you?
TG: oh
TG: you did?
GT: i did!
GT: i know, it’s lame. i didn’t want to say anything. it so makes me sound like i’ve got some silly schoolgirl crush, and i bet you already get a ton of girls bothering you.
TG: well look at me blushing
TG: its true youre one of the many fans of the femme persuasion that i fend off on a daily basis
TG: but you caught me on a free night
TG: r/ama
GT: well, if you’re going to waste a whole free night on me, maybe i should be the one blushing. :P
GT: are you sure your girlfriend won’t mind if i take you up on that?
TG: what girlfr
TG: i mean
TG: im in between babes at the moment
TG: busy guy like me
TG: fending them off with a stick
TG: they wont mind
GT: lucky me!
GT: so... dave, right?
GT: is it ok if i call you dave? it feels so weird to address someone by name without actually being introduced, but it would also be weird to call you tg all night. especially if you’re already inviting me all up into your business.
GT: would you prefer mr. godhead?
GT: mr. strider?
TG: dave
TG: dave is fine
TG: tell you the truth ive always been partial to mister strider but i havent grown into that one yet
TG: sometimes i still dont feel a day over thirteen
TG: this train is rocketing by a little fast
TG: miss uh
TG: whats your name
GT: casey!
GT: and you know, considering the age difference and all, you’re basically a mister to me.
TG: huh thats a weird coincidence
TG: my best friend whos a total goober is obsessed with a shitty nick cage movie whose fictional daughter is named casey
TG: agh why did i even retain that
GT: that IS a weird coincidence!
GT: i hope that doesn’t mean you’re projecting paternal feelings on me rofl. i am so not in the market for a dad.
GT: so... best friend, huh? what’s he like?
TG: hes a total nerd
TG: he has these terrible wire glasses and buckteeth
TG: and likes the worst movies of all time
TG: truly unforgivably bad ones
TG: but he makes me laugh more than anyone else and i smile like a fag whenever he bugs me
TG: its so uncool to be fluffing him up though
TG: an older guy like that shouldnt be interested in a little girl like you
GT: that’s sort of... sweet. unexpectedly sweet. hah.
GT: not that it’s uncool! a lot of guys would probably be too pussy to admit that, honestly. to get all in touch with their feelings or whatever.
GT: but, uh... if not an older guy like HIM...
GT: what about an older guy like you? (^^;)
TG: me and my feelings are as tight as a screw
TG: this is why im a soundcloud rapper
TG: listen
TG: casey
TG: im flattered that youve decided to pick me as your kpop idol waifu
TG: and im getting dadly feelings of pride that you have such discriminating taste as to headbang to my beats
TG: but itd never work out without the fbi kicking down my door
TG: you have my legal name and everything
TG: im too old for you
GT: i am not interested in your dadly feelings. or in alerting the fbi!
GT: what would i tell them, anyways? that some cute guy on the internet stayed up late talking to me? it’s not like you’ve cornered me in a dark alley or something. if anything, i am the one cornering you!
GT: i don’t think you’re too old. i mean, you said it yourself, i’m enlightened. i think that makes up for a little age difference.
TG: i
TG: uh
TG: cute?
GT: well, duh. i don’t go out of my way to hit up every musician i listen to. if you were just dropping awesome beats, i could appreciate from a distance, but...
GT: i think you’re so hot, dave. seriously.
TG: um
TG: are you sure youre thirteen?
GT: does that... freak you out?
GT: you don’t like younger girls?
TG: oh no thats definitely not it
TG: i mean
TG: i mean!!
GT: pfft! i knew it!
GT: so, what? i know i can come on a little strong, but i promise i don’t bite. i’d probably snap a band if i tried lol.
GT: is there someone else you’re messing around with?
TG: no theres really no one i swear
TG: i jerk off in front of dual screen monitors for crying out loud
TG: im johnny cash from how much of solitary man i am
TG: oh dear god you have braces
GT: ugh, yeah. sorry, i know that’s like the polar opposite of sexy. can you tell i have zero experience coming onto people or what? :T
GT: but now that you mention it... i guess i should probably ask what kind of stuff you jerk off to, huh?
GT: show me yours, i’ll show you mine?
TG: i shouldnt have brought up jerking off just pretend i never said that
TG: ive never groomed kids or anything thats gods honest truth
TG: i just look at some pictures sometimes
TG: i dont create or distribute them and theyre that indistinct teenager age where its hard to tell whether theyre eighteen or not so if i dont know then no one knows
TG: thats all im showing you cause theres nothing else to tell
GT: you’re not under investigation, dave! i swear i can feel your heart going a million miles a minute through the screen!
GT: we’re just talking as friends, right? you said i could ask you anything, sooo.... here i am. asking away!
GT: i don’t really watch porn or anything like that, it’s all so phony and fake feeling. it doesn’t do anything for me, you know? maybe that comes with age, but for now i kind of just stick to my imagination.
GT: i’ve thought about you.
TG: youve thought about me
GT: mhmm. a couple times since i found your page.
GT: you can ask me about it, if you want. what i think about.
TG: im okay
TG: you dont need to share your underaged hormonal teenaged girl masturbatory fantasies with me
TG: this way when i get myself off later i wont go straight to hell
GT: why wait until later?
GT: there’s no time like the present.
TG: listen girlie while this feels like my dreams are coming true there is something about them coming true too quick
TG: something about this feels off
GT: off? off how?
GT: what, do you seriously think i’m an fbi field agent?
TG: i mean
TG: probably not but like
TG: you were typing all cutesy earlier but now youre not
TG: and youre being really pushy and its making me hot under the collar but also really nervous
GT: sigh.
GT: ok, fine. i don’t want you to feel weird about this, so...
GT: i kind of do have something to admit to you.
TG: tell me if youre about to kick down my door
TG: my hands are up
TG: just make it stop
GT: it’s not that kind of confession! god you are so paranoid!
GT: do you seriously think someone would go through all the effort of pretending to be a kid on the internet just to entrap some guy who hasn’t even DONE anything? that would be completely insane.
GT: so, no. i’m not arresting you. it’s just...
GT: i’m not really a girl.
GT: so, you know. there.
TG: oh thank god
TG: i mean obviously my heart is breaking now i know for sure that pussy lusting after me is a pipe dream after all
TG: but this is kind of awkward now because i thought
TG: no offense
TG: that the target audience for my music was not male thirteen year old homos
GT: so, if i was a girl, we would’ve totally been getting it on right now?
GT: like, as far as the internet permits.
TG: my girl game is lacking so i dunno
TG: obviously i wanted to but that shits so illegal
TG: on the bright side you could still be lying about your age
TG: dont show me your birth cert and well be golden
TG: plausible deniability is a wonderful thing
GT: well...
TG: but you being a little dude doesnt bother me tbh
TG: you could even say its better
TG: makes it more casual
TG: with a girl you need to priss up in case she fires tentacle monsters at your dick but with a boy its just us guys being bros
GT: wait. what?
GT: this is... better? seriously?
GT: you’re not totally turned off by the whole male thirteen year old homo thing?
TG: uh no
TG: why would i be
TG: all i said is that i didn’t want your demographic to be my main one
TG: lets face it
TG: teen boys are poor as hell and gay teen boys even moreso
TG: teenaged girls are where its at
TG: have you seen how scary the swifties are
TG: theyre now entering the political scene and calling for civil reform in glitter paint
TG: those girls have parents rich enough to let them do whatever they want
TG: but lets face it
TG: gay teen male screams middle class
TG: you gotta think of the economy casey
GT: is anyone paying for your music, though? you’re kind of just... putting it on the internet for free.
GT: i mean, i’m not here to be your business manager or anything, i’m just saying. male or female audience, i’m really not sure how much money you’re making.
GT: can we circle back to all that stuff you were saying about guys being bros?
TG: its the royalties casey
TG: not that youd know anything about being a successful musicman
TG: the point is that im like michael jackson
GT: because you... like little boys?
TG: because it dont matter if youre black or white
TG: in this case its it dont matter if youre girl or boy
TG: i guess that punch line was lame
TG: but still
TG: damn dude have some respect for the dead
TG: also to answer the question
TG: yes
TG: just another reason im meant for stardom
GT: respect for the dead? dude, he was diddling kids like nobody’s business. he had a whole amusement park built in his backyard so he could diddle kids more efficiently.
GT: like, i’m in no place to judge him, but the fact remains that he was an all-time kid diddler.
GT: if you want to get on mj levels, you’ve seriously got your work cut out. you completely pussied out at the first opportunity i gave you.
TG: an amusement park
TG: why didnt i think of that
TG: also for a supposed all time fan you are a very rude little boy
TG: didnt your dad teach you to respect your elders
TG: wait a fucking second
TG: FIRST opportunity?
GT: ok, first of all, i don’t even HAVE a dad. so even if i am rude, you’re also pretty rude for throwing that in my face.
GT: and second of all... yeah!
GT: now that you don’t think i’m a little girl anymore, and you’re not shitting yourself at the idea of mussing up my pigtails and defiling my brace face, you are basically getting another go at this. unless you don’t want it, i guess.
TG: im sorry man for what its worth
TG: the friend that i mentioned also lost his dad but hes been totally fine about it
TG: so theres a light at the end of the tunnel
GT: it’s fine. you couldn’t have really known that.
TG: whelp
TG: now it feels strange to pivot to defiling your lack of pigtails but how could i give up the opportunity
GT: so....
GT: do you want to tell me about the pictures you just look at and don’t create or distribute?
TG: these are not the pictures youre looking for
GT: don’t you jedi mind trick me, man. so lame.
GT: the only reason i ask about what gets you off is because i’m interested in the act of you getting off, not in any of the cp on your hard drive. if that’s what i was looking for, i could just go stand in front of a mirror.
TG: but WHY
TG: im a random guy on the internet
TG: i mean a very famous and renowned musician
TG: question still stands
GT: you keep asking me questions you know the answers to!
GT: i like your music, and i think you’re hot.
GT: i lied about being a girl, i didn’t lie about EVERYTHING.
TG: oh
TG: if thats the case and i found a randy shota in my lap
TG: no but what specifically about me do you find me attractive
TG: obviously theres a lot to love but work with me here
GT: oh my god.
GT: do you also fish for compliments out of all the age appropriate dudes who hit you up?
GT: i mean, assuming they exist at all.
TG: yes
TG: except for that one guy i mentioned before thats been too busy for me lately
TG: he doesnt hit me up but hes the only one who falls into the age appropriate category that isnt related to me
TG: i also fish from my twin sister but thats not the point
GT: sigh.
GT: i don’t know if you’re cut out to be an internet predator, but ok. i will humor you.
GT: just know that if i was an fbi agent pretending to be a little boy who initially pretended to be a little girl, i would so be in the break room with my cop buddies ragging on the insecure pedo i’m chatting with.
GT: you’re tall, which is cool. even if you totally go out of your way to show it off. seriously, nobody needs to post that many pictures next to doorframes!
GT: and... i don’t know, you have a solid face. like, strong features i guess you would say. a good nose. nice eyes.
TG: fuck you kid i was totally born to groom while leaning on doors that i have to duck under sometimes
TG: im not a pedo either
TG: okay maybe kind of a pedo but eighteen is an arbitrary societal number
TG: if you think cavemen scratched countdowns on their walls then think again
GT: i’m not knocking you! i’m literally sitting here and begging you to groom me. if there was a place to sign up as an official nambla spokesperson, i would be first in line.
GT: and as an actual boy, i think i have pretty good odds of getting the gig. that organization is probably one fully grown sausage fest. they need some cocktail wieners in the mix.
GT: but, if you ARE born to groom, why don’t you DO it? jeez.
TG: this is like a dream come true but
TG: i cant really groom you if youre self aware about it
TG: that has to be against a molester code
TG: or i guess i can?
TG: i can reach down deep into my psyche and find my super saiyan power and find out that i was a prodigy at this all along
GT: well, you can’t really follow a molester code if you haven’t molested any kids.
GT: so there’s no need to be such a stickler for the rules before you’ve even verified your membership.
GT: also, prodigy or not, me being self aware will probably make this a super forgiving first time. we both have the same goals here. don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, dude.
TG: dude there is zero chance your goal is to be molested
TG: what sort of freak would go out deliberately looking for that
GT: what sort of freak would jerk off to the thought of doing the molesting?
TG: ...
TG: touche
TG: ahem
TG: so tell me where youre at pubertywise
TG: i gotta know what im working with here
GT: uh...
GT: i guess i’m at like... stage one?
GT: well, that makes it sound like cancer. growing up isn’t THAT bad, i don’t think.
TG: does stage one mean you know how to jerk off or what
GT: yeah, duh.
GT: i feel like that’s sort of a prerequisite for seeking out older men on the internet to sext.
TG: phew
TG: i mean id like nothing more than to show a little guy how its done but thats too much effort over text you know
GT: what, is that like your ultimate fantasy?
GT: watching a little boy cum for the first time?
TG: um
TG: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
TG: um!
GT: pfffft! ok, that is a yes. if you’re going to dodge my questions, you really need to get better at bullshitting me.
GT: you’re still so cagey. do i really make you that nervous?
TG: nervous lol why would i be scared of some kid
GT: i don’t know. that’s a good question.
GT: i mean, some pedophiles get all guilty and stuff about it. they go online and miserably jerk off to lame, g-rated facebook photos of their nieces and nephews or whatever, and wish they were ballsy enough to track down the real deal instead.
GT: but you don’t really seem like that type to me. you already know there’s nothing to feel guilty about.
GT: so... maybe you’re just scared because it’s your first time talking to a kid like this.
GT: you’ve probably thought about it a ton, right? fantasizing about how you’d convince some dumb kid to stay up on a school night sending you blurry webcam nudes?
GT: but that’s the cool thing about talking to me, dave! you don’t have to convince me at all! i already want you. i’m already...
GT: well, ok. would it freak you out even more if i said i was already touching myself?
TG: i dont think i can get any more freaked out
TG: shit
TG: how long have you been touching yourself
TG: my throat feels tight
TG: is this what being turned on by a kid feels like or am i suddenly allergic to dorito dust
TG: calling myself a pedophile sounds weird
TG: joking about it is fine but actually thinking of myself as one is
TG: im not really a bad guy casey
TG: i dont want to hurt anyone
GT: don’t act like you don’t know what being turned on by a kid feels like. come on, were you seriously “joking” when you asked me if i know how to jerk off? when you asked why i think you’re hot?
GT: only a pedophile wouldn’t have shut me down by now, dave. you know that.
GT: i don’t think that makes you a bad guy, though! and you’re definitely not hurting me, are you?
GT: actually, the exact opposite.
TG: oh my god oh my god oh my god
TG: whats wrong with you dude what kid talks like that
TG: oh my god
GT: i’m... um, precocious.
GT: you know, no dad and all. it’s been known to really age you.
GT: anyways!
GT: are you hard?
TG: a dirty-talking seductive underage vixen crashlands in my dms and youre asking me if im HARD?
GT: well, yeah.
GT: it’s also MY first time talking to a grown up like this. am i doing ok?
TG: my entire body is shaking like a leaf and im clenching my jaw so tightly im getting tmj
TG: so yes id say youre doing fine
GT: so you are hard.
GT: cool. awesome.
GT: ...
GT: are you doing anything about it? or are you still too self conscious about being a gross old man to do anything but sit there and squirm?
TG: the second one
TG: im not old
TG: just way older than you are
GT: not old, but you are gross. at least you’re not in denial about that.
GT: i don’t know why you can’t be honest with yourself about this. like, does keeping your hands above the belt make this any more justified? you’re already sitting here and letting an underage boy tell you how hot you get him, does getting your dick out while he does it really make that any worse?
GT: would you do it if i asked you to?
GT: if i told you to?
TG: ...
TG: im disgusting
TG: i wouldnt touch myself without telling you though
TG: thatd be
TG: wrong
GT: you’re sweet.
GT: but, seriously, i am all but begging you to do it.
TG: okay
TG: okay geez
TG: i guess im really doing it
TG: im palming it through my sweats
TG: i cant believe this is happening
TG: what are you doing
GT: i... actually can’t believe it, either.
GT: but stranger things have happened. uh, probably. i’m pretty sure.
GT: that’s really neither here nor there, though. i’m doing exactly what i told you i was, pubescent dick in hand. i had to lay off a little bit because i didn’t want things to end before they even started.
GT: you’re all grown up and porn addicted, so i bet you last forever and ever.
TG: i do last a long time but its not because im a gooner
TG: probably
TG: the most embarrassing that could possibly happen is cumming right after you start
TG: not “you” you though
TG: everyone knows that kids can go multiple times in succession
TG: so you shouldnt hold off because you can get it right back up again
GT: right, so i can cum all over myself and be the tweenaged porn star of your dreams. right away, mr. strider sir!
GT: you can’t tell me that and then not expect me to know you’re a gooner. you don’t escalate to pedo shit by watching amateur straight couples have tender missionary sex every other night.
GT: how many times do the little boys in your fantasies normally get off before they pass out from exhaustion? is it before or after your broken dick manages to do it?
GT: or, like, is exhaustion not even a deterrent for you here? you don’t have any of that annoying guilt to work through when it’s not real life, so maybe you like to think you’d just flip them over and keep going until you’re done.
TG: my dick works fine
TG: im dealing with it
TG: i didnt escalate to pedoshit either its just something thats always been going on i guess for as far back as i can remember
TG: i did sex shit from a normal young age and my aoa never really aged with me
TG: i always wished someone could take me and show me exactly how to make me feel good
TG: show me that i was their first choice
TG: so my little boy doesnt pass out from exhaustion in my fantasies
TG: im nice to him
TG: it doesnt hurt
TG: it feels good and he likes it
TG: if he falls asleep and i keep going thats because he trusts me that ill use him the way hes meant to be
TG: i wouldnt thrust hard either obviously and after id cum hed cockwarm me until he woke up
TG: its a lot of work to make a kid trust that my dick only gives pleasure but if trained correctly hed
TG: what am i even saying
GT: you know exactly what you’re saying!
GT: jeez, why do you keep doubting yourself? aren’t you getting off on all of this? stop being such a wimp and keep telling me about what you’d do to him!
GT: why should a little boy put any of his trust in a guy who is obviously way too much of a pansy to speak his mind? how is a guy like that supposed to teach him anything?
TG: if trained correctly hed learn to find comfort in me
TG: trust in me
TG: imagine coming home after having a bad day in middle school and throwing your backpack on the floor and asking daddy if you could suck my cock until you felt better
GT: oh god.
GT: what am i...
GT: ok. ok!
GT: ok.
GT: would you let me? um. suck your cock or whatever?
TG: “suck your cock or whatever”?
TG: werent you the one jumping on my dick earlier
TG: are you suddenly acting like a pussy because you realized youre a kid whos in too deep
GT: hey, fuck you, dude!
GT: i’m not a pussy, ok? this is a totally comfortable depth for me. so comfortable. the comfortablest.
TG: call me daddy then
GT: jesus.
GT: are you for real?
TG: real as a multiplied complex conjugate
GT: this is so.....
GT: uuuuuugh.
GT: ok. fine.
GT: daddy.
TG: cheer up man and say it with vigor
GT: god. what next? do you want me to don a bowler hat and a sequined bowtie? do a choreographed dance number?
GT: ...
GT: ergh.
GT: whatever you want, daddy.
TG: hahaha i cant believe you actually did it
TG: look
TG: its clear you dont want to do this
TG: but you clearly came in with an agenda knowing that somehow
TG: and i really dont know how if youre a total stranger maybe its the vibes of my music or my haircut
TG: that i like kiddies
TG: you got me
TG: im taking a seat
TG: dont tell me you find me hot because it wont work twice
TG: i may be a flaming hot cheeto but my sexting game is on point
TG: now tell me what you want with me
GT: my agenda?
GT: ...
GT: ................
GT: ok, you are such a tool. but your music and your haircut tell me THAT just as much as they tell me you’re a total pedo.
GT: i don’t have an agenda! i mean, i do, but it’s no secret. i WANT what i’ve been telling you i want the whole time. is that so impossible to believe? this is, like, ocCSAM’s razor!
GT: so are you going to let me suck your fucking cock, daddy? or do i have to find another loser on the internet to play this stupid game with me? there’s no short supply!
TG: woah there
TG: youre feisty
TG: i like that
TG: most porn out there has the kid being this cute submissive thing but thats boring as hell
TG: need some xtreme regret hot sauce along with those children wings
TG: i mean chicken wings
TG: so you think youre a big enough boy to suck my cock huh
TG: you think you can take nine inches?
GT: seriously? nine inches?
GT: your age of attraction must be super inclusive because clearly you think i was born yesterday.
TG: wanna see a picture?
TG: ruler included of course
GT: yeah, actually, i do!
GT: i need photographic evidence for this or else i can safely call bs.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent gigglyTwintails [GT] the file "strider_bbc.png" --
TG: read it and weep
GT: holy shit.
GT: well...
GT: well!
GT: it’s not bad, but it’s also not nine inches.
TG: wtf
TG: it is too nine inches
GT: no way, dude!
GT: it’s definitely under.
GT: it’s like... eight and three quarters.
TG: thats because im holding the ruler too close to my balls
TG: i didnt think id have some rando zooming in on it to see the tick marks
GT: you’re the one sitting over here bragging about your nine inch dick! obviously i’m going to double check!
GT: ugh, whatever.
GT: i can’t believe you have a dick like that and you still want to fuck kids.
TG: if you want to slobber over my cock you can just say so
TG: granted it does stay up even if you insult it
TG: especially if you insult it but im going to just pack that one away in the no touch topics
TG: also you brat i dont only want to fuck kids but bitches my age clearly arent jumping on it either
TG: a dick like mine is meant to be used and enjoyed but instead its stuffed away neglected in some grannys attic gathering dust
GT: great. yeah, no, i’ll respect that. because you are totally one for keeping your hands off things you’re not allowed to touch.
GT: also, that framing is really giving me an insight as to why no "bitches" your age can be bothered slobbering on it.
GT: sure, you’ve got this huge dick, but i bet you don’t even know how to use it. you are completely helpless. you’re just hoping someone will come along and do all the hard work for you! it’s like if a dildo sprouted legs.
TG: ugh so what if i am
TG: all the other guys seem to be getting theirs wet just fine
TG: why does the alpha male always have to be the go-getter like why cant someone just magically find me the ubermensch and spontaneously pester me with the intention to fuck me
TG: being a walking dildo doesnt sound so bad
GT: you cannot be serious right now.
GT: what part of this is screaming “alpha male” to you? because i am really struggling to pinpoint any part of your conundrum that paints you as anything other than a sniveling little bitch. here you are, whining that you might have to FUCK someone in order to fuck someone. the horror!
GT: i mean, god knows that you would be a disaster trying to control anything, so it’s probably best that someone doesn’t even leave you with the opportunity. but, even then, you would be the worst dildo ever! because a dildo would keep its dumb mouth shut, do its job, and go right back in its drawer!
TG: thats right keep jerking yourself off more
TG: dont forget to pump pump pump that giant bottle of lotion beside your bed otherwise youll get burned from all those mad flames youre spewing
GT: fuck you! you know it’s true! you are just begging for someone to come and tell you exactly what to do just like you fantasized about when you were a kid!
GT: you even got totally rock solid at a middle schooler ordering you around. you are the pedophile in this scenario, and it’s like i’ve had to do all the grooming!
GT: fuck. god. i cannot believe that’s really your dick. oh my god.
TG: you know my guy
TG: getting mad horny at seeing a dick thats so much better than yours in every way is a very normal reaction
TG: and by mad horny i mean seeing red with a red hot pocket rocket
TG: do your best not to drill a hole through your desk okay?
GT: how many people have you slept with?
TG: one
TG: would you like to know who i shared my special night with
GT: i would LOVE to know.
TG: your
TG: mom
TG: shabam
GT: alright, daddy.
GT: you know, on a related note, i’m sure the authorities would like to know who you’re sharing your special parts with on the internet.
TG: woah woah woah
TG: chill out dude
TG: i was just joking
TG: dont flip out and call cps just because your prides butthurt
GT: hey, i’m joking too.
GT: i just don’t think you want to put yourself in a position where i might start to think twice about those kinds of jokes. kind of like how you were joking about being a pedophile, and now...
GT: well, you know. shit happens.
GT: but, on an unrelated note, i really would like to know how many people you’ve slept with.
TG: well done you little shit
TG: you struck the fear of god back into me
TG: you now have absolute power over the pedophile who didnt even groom you
TG: congratufuckinglations
TG: i hope it was worth it
TG: the answer is zero
TG: nada
TG: zilch
TG: none
TG: but im sure you already knew that
TG: what do you want now since you are currently crushing my (proportionally sized) balls in your fist
TG: my social security number
TG: my otp
TG: thats one time password not like a yaoi otp
GT: you keep asking me what i want from you like it’s changed.
GT: it hasn’t, fyi. but i’m sick and tired of your whinging, so no more of that.
GT: i just want to get off. and, honestly, this arrangement benefits you more than you deserve because you’ll get to help a little boy cum over and over and over until i’m bored or exhausted. and that’s what you like, right? kiddie dick? being used? boom, best of both worlds. you’re welcome, daddy.
GT: as long as you do what i ask, then i don’t have any reason to send the fbi an anonymous tip. besides, if you went to prison, that would be a serious waste of your assets. i shudder to think what they’d do to a guy like you in a place like that!
TG: youre
TG: youre nuts!
TG: did me message me to get off on humiliating and castrating me like this!?
TG: waltzed up to a random corner of the internet whistling like an innocent boy next door being all like like la de da which predator can i ensnare and freak the fuck out of today
TG: this isnt funny anymore
TG: if you want sex go find someone your own age
GT: believe it or not, this is the last thing i expected to do today. it’s also very nearly the last thing i expected to get off on. but it’s what’s happening!
GT: don’t be such a baby, though. it’s not like i’m forbidding you from busting a nut, so you’re still getting exactly what you signed up for.
GT: hell, i bet you’re still hard.
TG: im not talking to you anymore
TG: its over
TG: take a hike
GT: https://tips.fbi.gov/
GT: you should send me another picture.
TG: oh my god
TG: this cnat be hapening
TG: what do you eant you underaged psychopath what di you wantt
GT: how often do you think about kids?
GT: is it in the back of your mind all the time? do you get nervous out in public when you see one? do you trawl instagram for mommy bloggers posting pics of their kids in swimsuits, or comb through tiktok to watch middle school girls shake their asses, and palm your dick through your clothes because you’re depraved enough to look, but too scared to do anything else?
GT: being a nonviolent offender still means you can touch YOURSELF, you know. and i hope you are. because you can whine and stammer all you want, but i know you’re hard as a rock thinking about me. about how you’re getting taken advantage of by an underage boy who could ruin your whole life in one phone call.
GT: and i’ll do it, too, unless you make me feel REALLY good.
GT: can you do that, daddy?
TG: im goingt o throw up
GT: no, you’re going to answer my questions.
TG: pplease dnot do this
TG: got me fair and square now you can brag to yuor friends how you got the evil pedo
TG: i wanst gonna to anythin to ya i swear to dog
TG: you cauhgt me just lemme go
GT: well, tough. because now you ARE going to do something to me. i’m making sure of it.
GT: and, if you listen to me, i won’t have to do anything! but my patience is really wearing thin, dave.
TG: oh jesus
TG: what
TG: what do you want me to do to you
TG: sir
GT: god. ok, no.
GT: you can just call me my name.
GT: don’t make this weird or anything.
TG: hi casey
TG: ill be helping you out tonight
TG: what can i get you started with to drink
GT: i really thought this threat might, like... neutralize you a little.
GT: too much to hope for, i guess. at least you’re not sniveling. doesn’t that alleged best friend of yours ever tell you that’s a super unattractive quality?
GT: but whatever.
GT: if you’re going to waste my time, i might as well waste yours. about ten to fifteen years of it, give or take.
GT: and not to mention a lifetime on the sex offender registry. you’ll be lucky to get a job flipping burgers, and that’s only if you make it out of prison without getting your face and guts rearranged beyond saving.
GT: the inmates won’t be as nice as me, dave. so let’s go back to you telling me about all the kids you jerk off to before you have to worry about any of that.
TG: oh for crying out fucking loud
TG: i dont jerk off to all the kids
TG: its not like i huddle behind a tree with binoculars at the playground looking for a marilyn monroe on some bouncing tot
TG: im discriminant
TG: girls are cute i admit it
TG: adorable bloodthirsty little things
TG: like a bat
TG: if little lasses dont make an average red blooded males heart go doki then he needs his blood pressure checked
TG: easily worth ten to fifteen years in the slammer and fuck you man fuck you so hard for making me say all of this
TG: but boys are different
TG: none of my friends know
TG: im not out
TG: not as a fucking nonoffending pedophile and not as a faggot either
TG: when i was small and just learning that touching my dick made me see stars was the same time my obsession with my idiot alleged best friend of mine began
TG: it snowballed
TG: he grew up
TG: i stayed attracted to him but every time i see him its overlayed with his younger self that i fapped nonstop to
TG: i could have been a run of the mill freak and just jerked off to loli hentai like everyone else
TG: do you think i ever wanted to find out i was a pedophile
TG: if i hadnt met him i never wouldve found this out about myself
TG: but we grew up together and seeing him turns me on so bad i cant think straight
TG: even though hes all grown up i keep imagining raping his tight jailbait ass and fucking his small throat and making him take it
TG: its his fault i go after little boys
TG: if i didnt imprint onto him i swear i couldve been normal you have to believe me
TG: im too much of a pussy to ever touch little girl cunny i really wouldnt
TG: but he makes fun of me and calls me retarded and gives me a dorky smile as he does and i
TG: i dig out pictures of him from when he was eleven and cum my brains out onto the floor
TG: fuck i cant believe i actually typed that out
TG: fuck
GT: ....
GT: wow, you are sick.
GT: i wonder what your friend would think if he knew what a disgusting fucking freak you are. best bros for... what, ten years? and you’ve spent each and every one of them with a death grip on your dick beating off to the thought of holding him down while he sobs into the pillows his parents picked out. its "nice" and "doesn’t hurt" my ASS. i’ll bet you love imagining all the ways you would ruin him if you could turn back time, screw him up so he’s just as sick in the head as you are!
GT: how many different fantasies do you have about it, dave? do you have favorites? recurring ones? you want HIM to call you daddy, too?
GT: poor little kid doesn’t have his dad around to protect him anymore, so he needs a good samaritan like you to step in and pick up the slack. teach him some REAL life lessons! shaving his face, tying a tie, sucking cock. you know, hit on all the basics.
GT: do you dream about taking it slow, oh master groomer, get him to where he’s begging for it? do you REALLY want to make him feel good? or do you prefer to think about forcing him the first chance you get, even if he screams and cries and only begs for you to stop? because that’s what i think you’d prefer.
GT: and somehow you’re still blaming HIM for it.
GT: yeah, sure, i’ll bet he was such a little whore. he knew exactly what he was doing with that slutty boy scouts uniform and that smile. you’re such a good guy, you would’ve never turned out this way if not for him! he was tempting you!
GT: what a crock of shit.
GT: you are a PEDOPHILE.
GT: you want to fuck kids. and it’s nobody’s fault but your own.
GT: i want you to admit that to me.
TG: hah
TG: im not
TG: not a
TG: wouldnt do that id make it good for
TG: oh john fuck i
TG: oh my god
TG: fuck
TG: ohgod fuck me fuck
TG:
TG:
TG: ...
TG: woah
TG: what the
TG: i just
GT: ...you just what?
TG: uh
TG: brb
GT: did you actually...
GT: oh fuck wow. ok.
GT: this john guy really gets you going.
TG: did you do that on purpose
GT: do what?
GT: make you cum in your pants?
TG: ...
TG: i didnt touch it
GT: at ALL?
GT: are you serious?
TG: i was earlier until you brought up the fbi
TG: since then the hands have been above the desk out of respect and crippling terror
TG: i didnt know i could even do that
GT: i... didn’t know i could make someone do that.
GT: i guess i am really precocious.
GT: seriously, though. you came without even touching yourself just because i was a little bit mean to you?
TG: in what world was that monologue "a little bit mean"
TG: if i went to therapy id send you the bill
TG: my entire body is shaking like a leaf man i can barely type
TG: i dont even know why im still typing
TG: what kind of thirteen year old talks like that
TG: who taught you
GT: uh... r rated movies and violent video games?
GT: and porn. yeah, just... tons and tons of internet porn. you know how it is.
GT: and i don’t think my allowance money would cover your therapy bill. there’s a LOT wrong with you. your therapist will already be swimming in billable hours before they even get close to fixing any of it.
GT: actually, maybe you need to stop worrying about yourself and start worrying about your friend john. if he ever finds out about any of this, he will be in desperate need of psychiatric help. i mean, can you imagine?
GT: on that note, i don’t recall hearing that admission of guilt i asked for.
TG: no i cant imagine which is why ive been doing everything in my power to ensure im taking this to my grave
TG: he has no idea and if he knew hed never talk to me again
TG: hes my best friend in the entire world i dont know what id do without him
TG: youre the only person in the world who knows and thats only because you threatened me at gunpoint
TG: and i am not guilty
TG: im just sick
TG: i was born this way and i cant change it
TG: do you think i havent tried
TG: prayed to the cheeto god to fix me every night starting from double digits
TG: if imagining kid john mewling on my cock is the one thing thatll let me able to look him in the eye
TG: then thats a sacrifice im willing to make
GT: you were born this way? i thought john was the one who made you this way. you know, by imprinting on your pubescent sexuality with his sexy glasses and braces and hairless bod.
GT: or maybe you’ll just say anything that makes you feel like it isn’t your fault. poor, poor dave. he’s all riled up with no one around to molest.
GT: besides, didn’t you say you’re still attracted to john as is?
GT: if you really want to change, you could try handling that the normal way.
TG: hes not gay
GT: did he tell you that?
TG: if he was gay id know that by now
TG: hes my right hand pal
TG: either i wouldve known or he wouldve told me
GT: well, you said he doesn’t know you’re gay.
GT: or that you stay up late and jerk off to little kids calling you a gross sicko.
GT: oh wait, sorry. you weren’t jerking off at all, i forgot. you worked yourself up into a panic attack and then blew a load in your underwear. are we sure that I’M the teenage boy here?
GT: you know, i could make you tell him.
TG: no
TG: no please dont
TG: hes my best bro hed never speak to me again
GT: ok, fine. i won’t.
GT: i’d ruin my fun AND my leverage, anyways. if he’s even a half decent guy, he would go to the police about it immediately. i’m sure his father raised him right.
GT: but i don’t want you going anywhere before you’ve paid me back.
TG: thanks man you dont know how much that means to me
TG: also hed tell my sister and at that point id rather have my prison pocket explored in jail but thats besides the point
TG: i dont have cash but i do birthday parties
GT: not like that, numbnuts.
GT: call me a stupid kid but i am pretty sure that when someone gets you off, you usually return the favor.
TG: right
TG: you didnt really get me off though
TG: like you said
TG: i panicked like a little girl and then jizzed my pants
TG: not very sexy
GT: ok, then why did it happen? did a crisp gust of air set you off? were you thinking really hard about some hot adult babes during that whole conversation? did a ghost give you a blowjob like youre doctor stantz from ghostbusters?
GT: i’m the one who talked you there. and i just don’t think its very fair that YOU get to finish but i don’t. especially not after all my hard work.
TG: scaring the shit out of me was light work for you
TG: but
TG: fine
TG: clearly the only way to get you to let me go on my merry way is to talk you into soaking your y-fronts with watery kid cum
GT: be nice and maybe you’ll get a picture of just that.
GT: but i’ll be nice, too.
GT: i’ve heard more than enough about your deranged obsession with this john guy that i almost feel a little bad for you. i mean, how shitty is it to pine so desperately for underage ass you’ll never be able to get?
GT: so...
GT: i can be john for you. you can unload all your disgusting feelings right here and now, treat me exactly like you’d treat him.
GT: what do you think?
TG: woah
TG: why
TG: um
TG: its not your problem
TG: why would you want to subject yourself to all that
GT: because i think it’s hot, dave. why else?
GT: i told you that i want to get off, too. this is that.
GT: just think of it like a little bit of roleplay.
GT: you’re you, and i’m the tweenage butt slut of your dreams.
GT: or the blushing virgin.
GT: i don’t know, you’ll have to tell me what your friend john was like at this age.
TG: he sent me a picture once that his dad took of him
TG: he was like eight or something but at that time we were both fourteen
TG: it was some silly action shot of him shooting hoops
TG: he looked so excited
TG: he had a minor growth spurt but his dad hadnt bought him new pants yet so they sat snug on his ass
TG: short shorts
TG: i could see the little bulge in the front too
TG: his shirt had a cartoon mario on it and his twig arms were poking out
TG: he was
TG: small
TG: slits of soft stomach showing during video calls when he stretched
TG: his tongue when he yawned
TG: every day i imagine his glasses smeared with cum
TG: he didnt know how slutty he looked
GT: so... blushing virgin?
GT: is that your favorite age to think of him at? eight, nine?
GT: so small you’d have to teach him how to do everything, be his first everything.
GT: tell me how you’d do it, dave.
GT: how would you get me out of those short shorts without running to tell my dad?
TG: fuuuuuuuuuck
GT: i think you’d have to do more than that. what’s going to stop me from ratting you out after we’re done?
GT: maybe you’d tell me being a tattletale is not very grown up of me. or you’d say that this is a special game only the two of us are allowed to play and it has to stay a secret between bros.
GT: or maybe you’d just be honest with me because i’m a big boy, aren’t i? you could sit me down and explain what i do to you, how you get this funny feeling in your tummy that only i can help you get rid of.
GT: after all, if i wasn’t such a tease, none of this would be happening. you wouldn’t be forced to think about the tiny imprint of my dick in those tight little khakis, or how i might squirm if you rubbed it through my undies.
GT: if it’s all my fault for tempting you, i should make it up to you. that’s the decent thing to do. that’s what i was raised to do.
TG: you have such a filthy mouth
TG: youve been thinking about this for ages
TG: months
TG: years maybe
TG: youre just a shota reading too much online and getting ideas and turning into pedobait
TG: john would never say any of this stuff
TG: that guy probably jerks it to the cinematic scenes in nic cage flicks and calls it a night
TG: but i think about exactly that
TG: everything you just said turns me on so badly i cant think straight
TG: i cant hear anything except my heartbeat when you talk to me like that you sexy perverted kid
TG: but enough is enough and i cant be moral anymore when youre throwing yourself into my lap
TG: if you get lifelong trauma from this thats on you
TG: good luck reporting me to the feds with those messages
TG: so fuck it
TG: lets say youre john
TG: put on some glasses
TG: id be gentle at first
TG: cant scare you off
TG: itd happen over a long time
TG: the gradual pushing of boundaries
TG: imagine yourself sitting on my lap while you use the computer while i babysit you while your dad is still at work
TG: all that warm skin touching mine
TG: id put my big hands on your thighs
TG: ruffle your hair
TG: when youre absorbed in the screen thats when my hands would start to wander
TG: light ghost touches like im shifting around
TG: your nipples
TG: your inner thighs
TG: the little bulge in your pants
TG: you start to get riled up and dont know why
TG: shifting and your breathing gets heavier
TG: maybe i control myself and enjoy the soft pressure of your kid ass on my flaccid dick or maybe i get hard and excuse myself to the bathroom
TG: you dont know how to masturbate yet of course but i see you touching yourself in the innocent kid way
TG: but i wont teach you to orgasm until later
TG: i like thinking of you riled up without knowing how to relieve it
TG: tucking you into bed with that red blush on your cheeks with those little touches
TG: oh john
TG: your dad will never know what daddy does to you
GT: oh, god.
GT: how much later?
GT: it can’t be wandering hands while i fidget on your lap forever. how long are you going to wait before you start to slide your hands up under my shorts? wrap your arms around me while you grind against my ass? ride up my shirt, knead at my baby fat?
GT: hell, i’d probably break before you do. throw a tantrum right there in your lap, hold onto you and cry because i’m so frustrated from being so pent up, but i’m too little to understand it.
GT: but you’re so much older and smarter and i only feel this way around you, daddy, so you HAVE to know how to help me. would you? i’d beg for you to make me feel all better. i’d do anything you ask because i trust you so much, i know you’d never do anything to hurt me. you’re a good guy.
TG: john used to throw tantrums
TG: i almost forgot
TG: its been so long
TG: he wouldnt get on the ground or throw things according to his dad
TG: itd burst out of him later at something unrelated
TG: i remember because i wrote to his dad about it once and i asked him was john started looking so sad
TG: he cried more when he was a kid apparently but he stopped entirely other than at his shitty movies
TG: i miss when hed cry in front of me
TG: youd see his lip start to wobble and hed look away like he was trying not to burst into tears but i knew what was up
TG: it turns me on to think of myself as your daddy john
TG: having that insight and control over you
TG: being there for you
TG: being the older guy you come to when you feel sad or tired or angry or frustrated
TG: if you were my kid i wouldnt let you cum at all until you figured it out all on your own
TG: if you threw a tantrum on my lap id pull down your pants and spank you thoroughly
TG: youd learn your lesson to obey your daddy
TG: he has your best interests at heart like helping you grow up and making you big and strong
TG: spanking hurts but i wouldnt overdo it
TG: youd kick and scream of course but daddy is much stronger than you are and id hold you in place until it was over
TG: id hug you afterwards and knead your burning ass and tell you that you were my good boy as you cried into my shirt
TG: john egbert
TG: youd be such a good little boy for me
-- gigglyTwintails [GT] is now an idle chum! --
TG: ???
TG: where the fuck did you go
GT: um.
GT: i...
GT: i have to go.
GT: got school tomorrow sorry i’ll talk to you later.
TG: wait
TG: i thought you wanted me to get you off
TG: was it something i said
TG: are you triggered by spanking or something
-- gigglyTwintails [GT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: what the
TG: ?!
TG: welp that just happened
TG: itll probably be fine
TG: this will have no further consequences im sure of it
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gigglyTwintails [GT] at 23:54 --
