Work Text:
It wasn’t the man’s good looks that first got Remus’s attention. He’d never been one for ogling or really noticing the people around him. He was too occupied with doing his best to melt into the background. Rather, it was the loud, brazen conversation, not ten feet ahead of him at a neighboring table, that caused him to stutter in the middle of his sentence.
“....complete arse of a professor had the audacity to think…,” he was saying to Lily, who was rolling her eyes sympathetically and sipping at her drink, her back to the two men talking loudly one table over.
But the words caused him to pause.
“ ...Regulus, you have to agree! I would absolutely climb him like a tree!”
He stopped mid-thought, brain short-circuiting at the statement, eyes trailing over to the man who had spoken.
He was stunning. Pale skin, long black hair, and aristocratic features that all looked almost haunting against light gray, black-lined eyes that were currently narrowed at the man across from him. Muscles and tattoos were obviously visible under an old Beatles t-shirt, and the grin that currently flitted across his gorgeous face left Remus dazed and breathless.
“Sirius, you can’t just say things like that!” his companion, a man who looked very similar to him, hissed back, expression scandalized. “We are in public!” Yes, the one who was speaking now had to be related to him somehow. He had the same distinct jawline, the same beautiful eyes. He lacked, though, the air of confidence and enjoyment of life, which was currently drawing Remus into the first man like some sort of crazy animalistic pheromone.
“Nobody here speaks French,” the first man–Sirius?--replied with a toss of his hand. “Live a little, Regulus!”
They were, indeed, speaking in French. But Sirius was wrong.
Remus, who was currently a student at Oxford, was fluent in the language.
“...Rem? Have I lost you?”
Lily’s voice made him jump a bit, his eyes jolting back to her. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized, feeling himself blush clumsily.
“Eavesdropping?” she asked with a knowing grin. “I saw them both earlier when I got up to grab my drink. They’re fit. Go on, what’re they saying? Don’t be stupid, though, look at me while you listen!”
Relieved, as usual, that Lily Evans seemed to share the same brain he did, Remus again focused his thoughts on the table behind her, though he left his glazed-over eyes on the redhead in front of him.
“ ....he’s got that whole I-don’t-know-how-fit-I-am thing going for him, doesn’t he?” Sirius was saying, still loud and unworried. “Like he’s embarrassed in public, but he’d be so confident in private. Fuck me right into the mattress and make me scream his name.”
Remus felt his eyes widen and he resisted the urge to look over.
Seeing her friend’s reaction, Lily grinned. “What’d he just say?”
“Shhh!” he hissed, wanting to know more.
He didn’t have to look at the shorter man to know he was scandalized. “Sirius, can you not ? I don’t want to hear about my brother’s–” So they were related! “--weird fantasies!”
“I’m just saying. I think I should give him my number before we go, yeah? What d’you think?”
Remus gasped a little and looked at Lily, who was waiting eagerly. “The one with the long hair, he’s got a thing for someone here! He’s talking about how…how he wants him to fuck him senseless, or something.”
The redhead giggled. “Shit, he’s just saying that out loud? Who about?”
“Dunno, he hasn’t–” But he stopped speaking to listen in again, as Sirius spoke.
“You really don’t see it though?”
“I’d think you’d deem this a good thing, Sirius. Wouldn’t you feel threatened if I also found this random coffeeshop stranger attractive? Who’s to say he wouldn’t rather fuck me?” Regulus replied derisively. Remus had to hold back a laugh.
Sirius seemed to consider this for a long moment before he groaned. “Still. Those brown eyes. That fluffy, brown hair? Those big hands? He’s lethal, Reg, I just know it!”
Startled, Remus looked around the shop, trying to figure out who Sirius could possibly be talking about. There were about ten occupied tables, but only four men that seemed anywhere close to Sirius’s age. One had black hair, one was blond, one was bald, and one was a brunette but had hair cropped short.
He wrinkled his forehead in confusion. “Nevermind, Lils,” he murmured. “I don’t think he’s talking about someone here.”
“Oh? Why? That one over there looks like he’d be pretty good in bed,” Lily said casually, gesturing to the blonde, who was admittedly gorgeous, and had muscles big enough to draw the eye even from five tables away. “He could at least throw me around a bit.”
“Fair, but he said the bloke he’s talking about had brown hair and brown eyes,” Remus whispered. It was too bad. For someone who absolutely abhorred large group events, conflict, or any type of social stress that involved himself, he secretly loved watching drama play out. He and Lily even got together once a week to watch shows like The Ultimatum, Love is Blind, and Love Island. He would have really enjoyed watching Sirius try to ask a random guy out.
Lily, however, did not look disappointed. She looked both shocked, and a little exasperated. “Remus…” she said fondly, a smile forming on her face.
“What?” he asked, feeling like he was missing something big.
But before she could properly respond, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat, and they both looked up to see none other than Sirius standing next to their table, face a bit flushed and an endearingly-nervous look on his face.
Remus gaped. “Wait… I have brown hair!” he said stupidly, immediately wishing the floor would swallow him whole.
Lily covered her face with her hand and kicked him under the table.
“Er, hi. I’m Sirius. And I…have black hair,” Sirius said, a completely unsure look on his face, smiling at Remus and giving him the feeling that he’d misplaced his tongue.
“I…” he swallowed several times and tried to decide what to say, but his vocal chords seemed to have also disappeared.
Lily, however, thankfully was able to use her brain. “This is Remus,” she said to Sirius, who nodded eagerly. “He’s not an idiot. But he does speak French.”
Sirius let out a noise like a dying animal, while Regulus, who was watching unabashedly from the next table, burst into laughter. “Ha!” he said in English, slapping a palm on the table as he guffawed. “I told you to watch what you say!”
“I…am going to go walk into traffic now,” Sirius mumbled, his stunning face almost purple with embarrassment, a reluctant smile playing at his lips.
But confidence surged in Remus’s body, Sirius’s earlier words replaying in his mind. “Wait!” He reached out and grabbed Sirius’s hand, stopping him from his quick retreat. “Don’t you want to find out if you’re right?”
Gray eyes traced over his face, making Remus feel almost naked under the intense, hopeful look. “What do you mean?” Sirius asked, though his expression quickly morphed from mortified to a playful smile. “Which part?”
“You said I…” he looked sideways at Lily, who crossed her arms and smirked. “You said you thought I’d fuck you into the mattress, yeah? How’re you ever going to find out if you leave now?”
Lily grinned proudly while Regulus made a gagging noise. Sirius raised an eyebrow and gave him a huge, adoring grin. “Fair point. I think this is for you.” He held out the paper he’d already had in his hand, which had his number scrawled on it in perfect, loopy writing.
“Merci, Sirius,” Remus grinned, taking the paper and standing to leave, gesturing for Lily to follow.
“Oh, you’re fucked,” he heard Regulus say under his breath to Sirius.
“I hope so,” Sirius shot back, laughing.