Chapter Text
Kara looked down at her friends and family fighting the Anti Monitors army on the ground. It didn’t take super senses to see that they were losing ground. There was only so much they could do against a veritable horde. It took all her concentration to block out their shouts, both from the ground and the comm in her ear. They were just so loud as they fought. She ducked under the swing of one of the flying ones and tossed it away, the thing hitting another with a crack, both immediately starting to plummet. She glanced down again when she heard Alex shout in pain. She was hunkered down beside Sara and Lena, holding onto her shoulder. She watched Sara pick up her sister’s dropped gun and leap over the rubble, not even looking before she started firing. Lena didn’t move, and Kara could see her eyes wide with fear as she tried to help Alex.
“Kara! You know what we have to do!” She looked away from the two most important people in her life and met her cousin’s eyes across the sky. She did know. And she knew he wouldn’t like it. She nodded and she saw him sigh in resignation, “Tell Lois I’m sorry. But I did it for her. For our son.” Clark started to fly away, in the direction of the portal the army was coming from. He was closer. But Kara was faster. Always had been. She looked down one more time. Alex was back up, another gun in hand. Lena was beside her, swinging a hunk of metal like it was a baseball bat at anything that got too close. She understood exactly what Clark was doing, but she couldn’t let him. It had been her job to protect him as a kid and she hadn’t been able to do that. But by Rao, she’d do it now. For him and the rest of her family. She kept them safe.
“I’m sorry.” She said, not nearly loud enough to be heard by anyone, except maybe Clark if he were paying attention. But Lena still looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun, catching Kara’s eyes. Even in the madness on the ground, she still smiled and waved. Kara smiled and waved back, locking in every detail she could. And then she turned and started flying. As fast as she could. Faster than Clark could pick up on. She hit his shoulder, knocking him off course and slowing him down in the process.
“Kara, what are you doing?” She ignored him. Ignored the voices in her ear that were picking up as they heard Clark yelling for her to stop Turned it all off like she was a teenager adjusting to Earth again. She took a deep breath and her heat vision started tearing through the bots trying to keep her away. Even just flew right through a couple, shrugging off the debris.
She heard her sister calling for her, desperate for her to listen. It broke Kara’s heart to ignore her, to not say a word. But if she paused, if she hesitated even a little bit, she’d falter. She couldn’t stop now. She could feel the crackling mass of nothing in front of her now, cold and dark. Almost like the Phantom Zone. She could do that. Had already done it once. This was nothing. This was what the Paragon of Hope did. It’s why she became Supergirl.
She crossed the threshold of the darkness and for a second, just a moment, before the cold hit, she felt afraid. Kara Danvers was scared. But she ignored it and kept pushing. Into the dark. Until there was nothing…
Lena woke with a start, swinging an imaginary bat at the air in front of her. She looked around, no idea why her heart was racing like she’d run a marathon. There was nothing threatening in her living room. And no recollection of anything in a dream.
“Oh good. You’re awake.” Apparently the threat was in her kitchen. She sat up completely, turning to face her brother. She had no memory of him coming over, and she had too much of a headache to wonder why he was there.
“Lex? What happened? Who let you into my apartment?” She rubbed her temple. Hangover headaches she was used to. This was something different entirely.
“You let me in. Don’t tell me you don’t remember.” He walked around her couch, carrying a small cup of tea and carefully setting it in front of her.
“Why would I do that?” She eyed the tea warily. Lex was not nurturing. Lex didn’t just ‘make tea’. She looked around the room, trying to figure out why it felt like something was wrong. Nothing was out of place or missing.
“Because I’m your brother of course. You were concerned about a concussion after you hit your head and wanted me here to make sure you slept alright. I advised against it, head trauma being the fickle thing that it is, but you insisted. So I didn’t stop you.”
“A concussion?” That made less sense than her calling him. Not when she had a whole contact list full of people she’d rather call first.
“Wow. You did a number huh? You don’t remember anything?” She stood up and started pacing. Partially to move around and also to just put some distance between herself and him. She stopped at her window and tried to think. She remembered being in her lab, working on, on something , but she couldn’t recall what. She’d gotten a call. Like she usually did when they needed help with something. The DEO. Alex had called. Because they all knew she wasn’t on the best of terms with Kara. Kara .
There was something she was forgetting about Kara. Something important. But her head hurt too much to try and think of what it was. She didn’t need Lex to know that though.
“Something with the DEO. They needed my help.” Lex scoffed, picking up the tea Lena had abandoned, helping himself. At least that meant it wasn’t poisoned.
“Of course they did, bunch of incompetent thugs. You gotta stop answering when they call sis. This is what happens when you work with aliens and their ‘friends’. You get hurt.” For a second, he almost sounded like a concerned older brother. She knew better though. He was judging her for caring about the others. For being part of a team. Granted, things had been tense since the others had found out she knew about Kara’s secret. Good. That was their own fault. They’d had years to trust her and yet she’d learned that little tidbit from Lex . That didn’t mean she wouldn’t help them if they needed it.
“Right. Well I’m feeling better so there’s no need for you to stick around. I’m a big girl and can take care of myself.” She wanted him out so she could properly think. His presence messed up everything, no matter how much she tried to ignore him.
“Alright, alright. You don’t need to tell me twice. I know when I’m not wanted. I’m just a phone call away. Or text even. I’ll respond to a text message just for you.” he stood and moved to rifle her hair, as if they were children. She shied away from the touch, not wanting him anywhere near her. He didn’t react and waved instead, “See you later sis.” And he left without needing to be asked again, closing her door softly behind him. She took a deep, shuddering breath. She was going to have to clean everything he had touched. Later. She picked up the tea he’d left and dumped what was left down her sink. Wasn’t going to touch that. She looked around, trying to remember where she’d had her phone last. Everything was messed up and she had no idea why. Something had to have happened on that call with the DEO. She finally found it, under her bed. Stared at the screen for a second, unsure on who to call. Her thumb hovered over the picture of Kara she’d saved for her caller ID. Wide smile and eyes squinting in the sun. She knew no matter how things were between them, Kara would answer. Always. But something kept her from pressing the call button. She scrolled a little and hit Alex instead. A Danvers was a Danvers. She put the phone on the counter, on speaker, drumming her fingers on the marble beside it.
“This is Alex Danvers. Can’t come to the phone right now. If it’s important, try again or leave a message. I’ll get back to you when I can.” Voicemail. Not straight to, so that was something. But she didn’t answer. Lena debated calling again, just to be irritating enough to get her to answer. Or she was actually busy and would call back when she could.
“Alex, hey. Hi, it’s Lena,” As if she wouldn’t know that already, “Um. I don’t know what’s happened since we last saw each other, but something feels weird and I was wondering if you could help me out with that. I can call Kara if you’d prefer, but your name comes up first and that felt easier. Get back to me when you can.” There were other options for her to talk to as well, but it was easier to talk with the Danvers sisters. She hung up and stared at the screen. Her basic, no nonsense lockscreen. That wasn’t right. She’d changed that as soon as she could, she hated the boring defaults. She opened her pictures, unsure what she was even looking for. The entire time, with the nagging feeling that something was wrong.
The feeling persisted throughout the rest of the day. She couldn’t shake it. She waited for Alex, or really anyone, to call her back. Thought about calling Kara, chickened out. She wanted to figure things out before talking to Kara. She knew they needed to talk, properly. No matter how furious Lena was with her, she was her best friend. They’d figure it out, somehow. She knew they would. There wasn’t a world where Lena didn’t have Kara in her life, so they’d work it out. She eventually called it a night, staring at her phone, waiting for someone to act like she existed, but nothing. She’d try again in the morning. Maybe when her headache was gone.
Lena woke up in the morning, headache mostly gone. Still felt a little off, but nothing she hadn’t dealt with before. Still no call from anyone, but maybe they were all busy. She scrolled through CatCo’s latest posts, catching herself up on things she hadn’t paid attention to the night before. The Flash was making his rounds in Central City, nothing strange there. Superman going around doing his things. Supers doing their super jobs, as usual. No mention of Supergirl, but Lena figured Kara was letting the others handle things. Wasn’t unheard of. She wanted to try and check in, but she did have a job to do. A company to run on her brother’s behalf. LuthorCorp. That was it. She’d have gone with something less obvious, maybe L-Corp, but it wasn’t hers to name.
For the majority of the day, she didn’t think about calling any of the ‘Superfriends’. Little things needed her attention all over the place. And the whole time she couldn’t shake the feeling something was off . But no one around her seemed to think anything was out of the ordinary and she figured she was being paranoid. It was bound to happen when hanging around people who saved the world for a living and dealing with regular assassination attempts.
A couple more days passed, the feeling not going anywhere, but she was able to ignore it. What was harder to ignore was apparently being ignored by everyone who mattered to her. No one reached out, nothing from Alex or Nia. Calls to Kara went straight to voicemail and weren’t returned. She told herself she’d go over to Kara’s place after work and not leave until she saw someone. Anyone at this point. Until she got a news alert, from the Daily Planet. Not her usual source, but at least it was reputable, even if Miss Lane couldn’t use spellcheck to save her life. She didn’t immediately look at it, not thinking anything of it. Probably Superman doing something noteworthy. Lois loved to write about her situationship. She was almost back in her office when she heard the whispers pick up.
“Supergirl?”
“Did you see?”
“Gone? Do you believe it?” Lena stopped in her tracks, heart hitting the floor. She quickly went into her office, closing the door behind her and pulling out her own phone. An article from Clark Kent.
A Super Legacy: Kara Zor El, Hero Remembered
Lena stared at the headline, not believing the words. There was no way. It was wrong. She skimmed the article, seeing the ‘quote’ from Superman, confirming that his cousin had passed defending the world from a threat bigger than any of them could imagine. No.
No it wasn’t possible. It was a ploy to get some other threat off their backs. Someone had to believe Supergirl, Kara , was dead. For one reason or another. And who better to make it official than her super cousin, the blue Boy Scout himself. Lena took a deep breath in and held it for a couple seconds. Whatever she could do to hold off the advancing panic attack she could feel rearing its head. Not right now. She couldn’t do that, not here, not now. She briskly walked over to her desk and held the little button that let her talk to Jess.
“Jess, cancel the rest of my meetings for the day. The usual apologies and reschedule when we can.” She almost said to tell anyone who asked that it was a family emergency, but for her that just meant Lex, “It’s a personal matter and I am sorry for such short notice. If my brother comes poking his nose around asking for reasons, same thing. Personal matter.”
“Of course Miss Luthor. Did you want me to call you a car?” Lena sighed. She wasn’t sure what she’d done to deserve Jess, but the woman was a godsend. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why Lena was canceling meetings. Anyone with eyes knew she’d worked with Supergirl in the past and would be affected by the news.
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
“Of course.” Lena let go of the button, taking another deep breath. She unlocked her phone again and immediately called Kara’s cell. Just like the last couple days, it didn’t even ring before it hit voicemail.
“Hey, you’ve reached Kara Danvers! I’m probably working on a story or binge watching NCIS: Hawaii. If this involves something newsworthy, give CatCo a call and they will get all the information they need and pass it right along. Alex, I’ll return your popcorn bowl when I’m done with it. Leave a message otherwise. Thanks!” Lena could hear her smiling in the message. There was no way.
“Kara! Hi, it’s Lena. Um, just saw the wildest headline in the Planet and uh, just checking in. No one’s called to fill me in on anything and I feel like I’m a little out of the loop. Thought we were past that. I’m going to try your sister next, so if one of you could just call me back. Or better yet, drop by? Great, thanks. Bye.” She hung up and immediately called Alex. This one went straight to voicemail. Same message as before.
“Alex, please answer your phone. No one told me about the article and I’m wondering if I need to be concerned. Please call me back.” She stared at her screen, wondering if she should try Nia or Brainy. Later, if no one else responded.
“Miss Luthor, your car is downstairs.” Jess came over the intercom.
“Fantastic. Thank you Jess, you’re a saint. Once I’m gone, you are more than welcome to take the afternoon as well.” Lena grabbed her bag and winced a little when her office door slammed closed in her haste to go.
“Take care Lena.” Jess smiled at her, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Clark Kent wrote a damn good article and National City was already starting to feel the blow of losing her. Lena ignored all the whispered conversations as she walked as fast as she could to the elevators. She wasn’t going to run, not here.
After the longest elevator ride of her life, she finally got outside to where her car and usual driver were waiting for her in front of the door.
“Afternoon Miss Luthor. Where’re we heading on such short notice?”
“Kara Danvers.” She was glad it was her normal driver and she didn’t have to pass along the address. He knew it as well as she did at this point. She was also glad he knew how to read her moods and didn’t try to make small talk on the drive over. She tapped her fingers impatiently on her knee, glancing at her phone far too often, waiting for someone to reach out. He pulled up outside Kara’s building and paused.
“Am I waiting here today?”
“Um, I’m not sure. Circle the block maybe? If you see a spot, grab it? I’ll let you know.” He nodded and she let herself out, waving as he drove away.
The walk into Kara’s building was almost as familiar as her own. She was here often enough Kara had joked about giving her a key, just in case she was ever out on a job when Lena stopped by. She hadn’t gotten around to it and instead Lena had to hunt for the spare. None of Kara’s neighbors were around to ask about Kara’s recent comings and goings, not that Lena would’ve known how to make conversation with any of them. She didn’t know their names. Kara probably did. Maybe she’d ask her about that. Once this little mystery had been solved. She had to stand on her toes to get the key off the top of the doorjamb, but managed to get a grip on the small piece of metal and quietly let herself in.
The lights were off, not that that was strange. Kara never left them on when she wasn’t home. A reporter only made so much and she didn’t want to spend it all on a bill she really didn’t need. Lena set her bag and the key on the table beside the door and closed it behind her, looking around more.
“Kara?” She knew she wasn’t there, but she had to check. Stranger things had happened. Lena stepped quietly into the living room, trying to figure out what was bothering her about the space, “Alex? Anyone?” she ran a finger over the table in front of Kara’s couch, frowning when it came away with the smallest bit of dust. She rubbed her fingers together and looked around, shaking the dust off. The table wasn’t the only thing sitting around undisturbed.
The plants. The little green friends Kara was adamant about keeping alive, no matter what. They weren’t in the window, couldn’t reach the sun. Lena moved them without thinking about it, opening the curtains just a little. Kara wouldn’t abandon her things, not like this. She hadn’t been home in days from what Lena could tell. Her clean dishes were still in the drying rack, half-finished book by her bed. Something was wrong. Something had happened to Kara and no one was telling her anything. Fine. She’d demand the answer herself then. They all at least owed her that much. She closed and locked the door behind her, stretching again to put the key back.
“Oh, Lena dear. When you see Kara, could you let her know I still owe her for helping my granddaughter move last week?” Lena turned around, surprised someone in the hall was addressing her. She didn’t know the older woman’s name, not off the top of her head, but she smiled.
“Of course I can, yes. Not a problem. She just had something come up at CatCo and it’s kept her out of town for a little bit.”
“Such a busy young woman, eh? Gives Supergirl a run for her money.” The woman smiled a little before remembering the news, “Well, gave, I suppose. It’s a sad day for the city.”
“Yes, tragic. Um, I will pass along your message to Kara when I see her. I hate to rush, but my car is downstairs and I’d be the worst boss if I let him get a ticket for being double parked.”
“Go, go. If I see her first, I’ll tell her you stopped by as well.”
“Great. Thank you.” Lena gave up trying to put the key up and just slid it into her pocket. She’d put it back later. She nodded to the woman and quietly made her way back downstairs. She saw the car parked a little ways down the street and walked over, waving at him. He waved back, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.
“No luck?”
“Not here, no. We just missed her and she’s at her sister’s instead. I think you’ll be good to drop me off there and head on your way.”
“Are you sure Miss Luthor? I wouldn’t want you without a way home.”
“I’ll be alright, I promise.” Kara would be sure she got home safe, one way or another. Because she wasn’t leaving Alex’s without an answer.
“If you say so. You’re the boss here.” she leaned back in her seat after making sure he had the address right and closed her eyes. Everything was going to be fine. Somewhere along the line there had just been some form of miscommunication that accidentally kept Lena out of the loop. Because no one, especially not Kara, would’ve kept her out of something this big on purpose. Kara trusted her and that was all anyone else needed to know.
“Here we are. You sure you don’t want me to stick around?”
“I’m sure. Thank you.”
“Not a problem. Call if something changes and I’ll be back as soon as possible.” She just nodded and waved as he drove away. Another person on her payroll that she didn’t deserve. She’d think about that later. She had something to do.
She’d only been to Alex’s a couple of times and always with Kara. Walking to her door alone felt strange and Lena suddenly felt small. Like the halls would close up and just swallow her whole if she let them. There was nothing to be so afraid of, but as she walked to Alex’s door, the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach grew. There was a light under the door, so at least someone was home, hopefully. It was something. Lena stopped outside it and stared at the number.
“Alex? Alex, are you in there? J’onn? Kelly? Is anyone home?” She knocked, as loud as she dared. Alex’s building was a lot darker than Kara’s and being loud felt wrong. She heard voices on the other side, some louder than others. She couldn’t make out any one voice, but it was enough to get her to knock again, harder, “Come on. I know someone’s there. It’s Lena. I tried calling, a few times. No one answered. I saw the news and need to know what’s going on. I’ll walk myself to the DEO if I have to, but I’d really rather talk without an audience.” A couple more loud raps on the door. The voices picked up again and this time she heard footsteps. What she wouldn’t give for super hearing, just this one time.
“Lena?” The door opened a little and Nia’s brown eyes met hers. She had never seen the girl without a little light in her eyes, but it was gone now. Something had happened. Something awful and no one was telling her anything.
“Nia. Thank god. What the hell is going on? Is everyone else here? I’ve been trying to reach anyone for a few days now and no one responded.” The door opened all the way and Nia stepped to the side, letting Lena in. Lena slipped by and looked around. Everyone was there. Almost everyone.
“Oh look. The Luthor is here.” Alex was on the couch, a bottle in one hand, staring angrily at the wall. Lena had never seen her so disheveled. Ever. Lena tried not to be hurt with the way Alex said her name. Like she was her brother.
“Alex, you don’t mean that. Lena is your friend too.” Kelly was on the floor in front of Alex, running a finger up and down her leg. Giving her space without leaving her entirely on her own.
“Sure, yeah. Hello friend. Come to join the wake? I’m afraid I’ve got a headstart and you’re going to have to work to catch up.” Alex took a drink, eyes red. Lena saw the picture frame held close to her chest. She couldn’t see the whole thing, but from her angle, the blonde hair was visible.
“What happened? No one’s told me anything.” She looked around, needing someone to say something.
“What happened? What do you mean what happened? Don’t you know? The Monitor? Anti-Monitor?” Brainy was in the kitchen, staring at a different bottle. Lena knew he didn’t drink, but he was eyeing it like he wanted to. No one was meeting her eyes.
“What the hell are you talking about?” None of those words made any sense to her. But it felt like they should. They were important.
“You mean Lex didn’t make you remember? We thought you’d just been avoiding us to deal with it in your own way.”
“Deal with what? What happened to Kara? Where is she?” Lena was trying her best to not lose it on them. She couldn’t afford to piss them off.
“Gone.” Alex muttered. Lena almost believed her. Almost. But she couldn’t be gone. Kara couldn’t just be gone, not without an explanation.
“Gone where? How do we get her back? I can figure out a Phantom Zone portal if I need to. You know I can.” Someone needed to fill her in. Because the more she looked around at their faces, the more it became obvious that their light was gone.
“Lena, do you trust me?” J’onn stood from where he’d been leaning against the wall and walked over to her, holding a hand out. The man looked tired, more than she’d ever seen him before.
“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. She’d been around them enough and had no reason to doubt his intentions.
“I’m sorry to not have done this sooner. We thought you knew.” He lightly rested his fingers on her forehead and took a breath. Lena did the same and a couple beats passed, his fingers a little cold. And then it all came back. The world ended. And then it didn’t. And ended all over again when Kara disappeared into a portal of nothing.
For the first time in days, the headache Lena had been ignoring was gone. The nagging feelings of something being off. All of it. Gone. Only to be replaced by the gut-wrenching realization that Kara wasn’t there. In the seconds it took for her memory to be restored, Lena understood what it must’ve felt like for Kara when her world had ended.