|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets Kezhan, Don Quixote's Room |
|
Ahhh... 'Tis time for me to fully awaken! |
|
I wonder how mine allies will greet me on this fine day in our great City. Let us commence forth! |
|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets Kezhan |
Faust |
... |
Don Quixote |
Faust? What art thou doing in front of the entrance to mine own quarters? |
| Faust |
Don Quixote. |
| Don Quixote |
Yes? That is my name. |
| Faust |
Don Quixote, Faust has been warned of a potential issue regarding you. |
| Don Quixote |
...Uh... |
| Don Quixote |
Prithee, could you elaborate? If it is related to the nibbling I have been conducting when it comes to my fellow Sinners, they have been consensual nibbles. I have always, always made sure to ask first. |
| Faust |
You've been nibbling on the Sinners? |
| Don Quixote |
...Only when the blood packs don't get replenished fast enough. |
| Faust |
That will be a topic of discussion later. |
| Don Quixote |
It is purely consensual! |
| Faust |
Besides the point. It has nothing to do with you being a Bloodfiend. |
| Faust |
It is in regards to the chemical polarity that is apparent within individuals, women in particular, when you decide to grace their presence. |
| Don Quixote |
Huh? |
| Faust |
You are giving women too much of a chemical imbalance when you are near them to the point that they either become desperately enamored with you, or they reconsider their romantic opinions to be desperately enamored with you. |
| Don Quixote |
Huh? |
| Faust |
You make women fall in love with you. |
| Don Quixote |
...Huh? |
Heathcliff |
She's sayin' you've got lesbian aura, lass. |
| Don Quixote |
Ohhhhh... Forsooth, I understand it now! |
| Faust |
I'm not even going to question how you interpreted it that way of all ways. |
| Don Quixote |
Verily, this has to be some sort of practical joke played on myself, yes? There is no way what you are suggesting is true! |
| Don Quixote |
I-In my mind, I doth often see myself with many fair maidens clamoring and fighting for my attention... b-b-but only as a minuscule, selfish delusion that sparks from my larger goal of becoming a legendary Fixer! |
| Faust |
When Heathcliff had suggested the idea to me, I thought the same. That is why I am conducting a test. Heathcliff and I will follow you throughout the entire day to see if you cause that chemical imbalance and what data we can gleam from it. |
| Don Quixote |
...The whole day? |
| Faust |
The whole day. |
| Don Quixote |
Is this really necessary? |
| Faust |
Yes. |
| Heathcliff |
Trust me, this is very necessary. |
| Don Quixote |
Please do not do that... |
|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets |
Dante |
<So today, Sinners, I'm feeling like doing a couple of Mirror Dungeons, then a couple Luxcavations. Nothing more, nothing less.> |
| Dante |
<I need to make sure I've got enough shard boxes saved up for the next banner... the new Hong Lu ID's bound to be right around the corner, right after the next Walpurgisnacht.> |
| Dante |
<Afterwards, we shall continue assisting Jia Xichun in figuring out how to be the best Hierarch she can be. Any questions?> |
|
The sailor, Ishmael, my very reliable friend, raises her hand high into the air, almost as if she was experiencing a bout of urgency! |
| Dante |
<Yes, Ishmael?> |
Ishmael |
Dante, I don't know what it is, but I'm not necessarily feeling so good... |
| Don Quixote |
Oh, Lady Ishmael! Did you perhaps ingest some incorrect delicacies before slumbering last night? |
| Ishmael |
Pffft. Incorrect delicacies... That's cute. Nah, I didn't- |
| Ishmael |
...Oh. Wait. I think I know what the feeling is. It's like I've got butterflies in my stomach. |
| Dante |
<How's that possible? We're not even doing anything too intensive today.> |
| Ishmael |
I-I don't know... |
| Heathcliff |
Well, I wouldn't wanna try and point fingers, but she is standing right next to Don Quixote. |
| Ishmael |
That's not what it is, you idiot! |
| Heathcliff |
Then why are you blushing right now? |
| Ishmael |
...Shit, you might be onto something. I even laughed at her dumbass joke just now. |
| Don Quixote |
Is thou serious at this hour? |
| Ishmael |
Maybe! Quick, Don Quixote, look at me for a second? |
| Don Quixote |
... |
| Ishmael |
... |
| Don Quixote |
Well? |
| Ishmael |
The butterflies got worse. |
| Don Quixote |
How?! |
| Ishmael |
I-I don't know! I guess you just look really cute today! |
| Don Quixote |
WHAT? |
| Ishmael |
You heard me... Don't make me say it twice. |
Ryoshu |
The sailor falling for an idiot mermaid. Nice. |
| Ishmael |
Shut up! |
| Dante |
<Hey, look, I-I'm not gonna judge if you guys need to find solace in each other to blow off steam... Job's a pretty stressful one. I understand.> |
| Don Quixote |
This is... Prithee, understand that this is a lot to take in, Lady Ishmael. |
| Ishmael |
Yeah, fuck, I get it. It's a lot for me to take in right now too. |
|
I can see Lady Faust and Young Heathcliff behind me, taking notes furiously in Faust's notebook... |
|
I did not want to believe that Lady Faust and Young Heathcliff's theory held weight, but... that felt way too real. |
|
Location: Daguanyuan Front Gates |
|
Well, perhaps I can forget about the conflicting feelings Lady Ishmael hath given me while partaking in a midday snack. |
| Don Quixote |
♬Hmm hmm hmmmmm... Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmmmmmm...♬ |
|
Señorita Rodya had covered my eyes from behind, attempting to disguise her less-than-adequate stealth with a jovial giggle. I had known it was her behind me, but I want to play along. |
Rodion |
Guess who~? |
| Don Quixote |
Rodya? |
| Rodion |
Ohoh, wow! Got it right on the first try. You really do pay attention, don'tcha? |
|
Señorita Rodya's always been a wonderful person to be around. I assume I can trust her to calm me down... to free me from my thoughts. |
| Rodion |
Saw you sneaking off by yourself somewhere after we started taking our break, so I wanted to follow ya. Ishy's confession get to ya that bad? |
| Don Quixote |
I, uh... Perhaps! |
| Don Quixote |
It is not like I do not see Lady Ishmael that way. It was just all... so sudden, you know? |
| Rodion |
Of course, of course. I get it. Confessions out in the open like that are always so awkward. |
| Rodion |
Me personally, I like to keep information like that on the downlow. Intimate moments like that... |
|
While saying that, Señorita Rodya softly grabbed my hand. |
| Rodion |
They should only be shared by the sender and their recipient, no? It makes things way less ambiguous. |
| Don Quixote |
S-S-Señorita Rodya? What are you doing...? |
| Rodion |
Courting a knight. Is it working? |
| Don Quixote |
...You too? But... but how? |
| Rodion |
Well, I dunno what exactly happened to Ishy, but I saw you one day while we were getting fuel for the bus, and I was just like... huh. She's actually a lot hotter than I originally gave her credit for. |
| Rodion |
Couple that with the fact that we both wanna make people happy and both easily make people laugh, and for me, it was as easy as adding 1+1. Perhaps we should see what happens when we combine the sum of our parts~? |
|
Ah! Not again!!! |
| Don Quixote |
A-Ahahaha... Verily, has it gotten warmer here, or is it just me?! |
| Don Quixote |
I-I have to go somewhere else for right now! Like, uh... the bathroom! To wash my face! |
| Rodion |
Oh... Okay! Take your time, Chiquita~ |
|
WHY DID SHE SAY THAT LIKE THAT? |
|
With great efficiency, I run somewhere else with my acquired luncheon. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Heathcliff and Faust pop out from behind a bush, presumably to write more notes. |
| Heathcliff |
Mmm. Gay panic. Common of the average lesbian. |
| Faust |
How would you know what one looks like? |
| Heathcliff |
I hang out with Ishmael. |
| Faust |
Fuck, fair point. |
|
I must go somewhere I can be alone with my thoughts... |
|
Location: Daguanyuan - Yihongyuan Yard |
| Don Quixote |
I very much appreciate you letting me take shelter within your old abode, Young Hong Lu. |
Hong Lu |
But of course, Don Quixote! It's just me and Xiren right now, so I'm sure she won't mind the company. |
| Hong Lu |
...Wait, is it actually just me or Xiren? There's someone in there I think I may have forgotten. |
| Don Quixote |
Like who? |
| Hong Lu |
I believe... yes, that's it. Ryoshu may have needed to come in here briefly. She was making tea. I don't know why, though... |
| Ryoshu |
There you are. |
| Don Quixote |
U-Uh... Hello, Lady Ryoshu! I did not know that you were even looking for me. What do you ne- |
|
Before I'm able to say anything, she shoves the tea into my hands. |
| Ryoshu |
Saw you looking parched, so I made you tea. |
| Ryoshu |
Someone that adorable... doesn't deserve to be panting unless she's under me. |
|
She had then wiggled her eyebrows at me, as if this were meant to be a sign for my eyes only, which had caused my brain great distress. |
|
It had also... forced my countenance to be redder than normal. |
| Hong Lu |
Uwa? Would you two like a private moment alone? |
| Don Quixote |
N-NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO- Thank you for the tea, however. I shall drink it with gratitude! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO- |
|
I had slowly left the scene, the tea in my hands. |
| Ryoshu |
...Heh. Jade boy, watch this. |
| Ryoshu |
Hey, D.Q.! |
|
...I slowly turned around, took a sip of the tea (which I admit was quite delightful), and eeped out a response like a scurrying mouse. |
| Don Quixote |
Yes? |
| Ryoshu |
I.L.Y. |
|
She then used her hands to give me a heart... and a genuine, dare I say heartwarming smile. |
| Don Quixote |
... |
| Don Quixote |
Nope nope nope nope NOOOOOOOOOPE! |
|
While I ran, Faust and Heathcliff showed up from behind the building to take more notes. |
|
Location: Aboard Mephistopheles |
| Don Quixote |
I just... I just do not understand it, Lady Outis! I have so many people wanting to court me, and they all happen to be women! |
| Don Quixote |
How could this have happened? What was I... plagued with to be this irresistible today, of all days? |
Outis |
... |
| Don Quixote |
Outis? |
| Outis |
O-Oh, uh, my bad, Don Quixote. |
| Outis |
I was thinking about the optics of telling my wife if I would be allowed to add someone into our marriage. |
| Don Quixote |
HUH?! |
| Outis |
Just hypothetically, you know? It would be like having two golden retrievers instead of one. |
| Outis |
And we're Greeks, so it's like, if she's cool with it, I'm cool with it. Y'know what I mean? |
| Don Quixote |
... |
| Outis |
Too forward? ...Okay, yes, that was probably too forward. Maybe I need to start over. |
| Outis |
How would you like being my wife? I know we had gotten off on the wrong foot a month or so ago, but- |
| Don Quixote |
VERILY, YOU JUST JUMP STRAIGHT TO MARRIAGE? |
| Outis |
Well, I already do have a wife at home. Dating again would be a little bit redundant. |
| Don Quixote |
THAT WIFE IS NOT ME. |
| Outis |
We've been in the same bus for a year. You've slept on my shoulder knowingly and unknowingly. |
| Don Quixote |
I hate that this logic is not incorrect. |
| Outis |
So would you like to- |
| Don Quixote |
THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION! |
| Faust |
Mmm... Data so far indicates at least a 99% chance for a woman to immediately fall in love with the subject upon seeing them or being near them for a currently undetermined time range. The range has gone from a few minutes to a few... seconds... |
| Heathcliff |
Faust? ...Aw shite. |
| Heathcliff |
Lass, we might've just ran into an issue. |
| Don Quixote |
What issue? She hath only looked into my eyes for a few seconds! Surely, SURELY, she could not have- |
| Faust |
It would seem I have also fallen for the subject. |
| Don Quixote |
... |
| Faust |
All it took was slight eye contact. I had attempted to use Heathcliff as a deterrent because he is absolutely not the type of person I would go for, but I had forgotten to put my attention back onto him. |
| Faust |
I have fallen for the spell of Don Quixote. |
| Don Quixote |
I AM NOT DOING SPELLS!!! |
| Heathcliff |
Lass, I think your aura might be too strong. We might need to get you the hell out of this District before you cut off the bloodlines of all of Hongyuan. |
| Don Quixote |
Forsooth? But what about my job at Limbass? |
| Heathcliff |
Worry about that later! |
|
The brutish Heathcliff does not answer me, instead carrying me as if I were a very important piece of carry on luggage. That is to say, beneath his arm pit. |
| Outis |
H-Hey, wait! That's my future wife you're taking away from me! Get back here, you damn brute! |
| Faust |
...Faust will also follow. |
|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets |
|
Dante ends up seeing the menace running and follows us as well. |
| Dante |
<So, why exactly are we running?> |
| Heathcliff |
We need to escape the pull of this lass's lesbian aura. |
| Dante |
<What.> |
| Don Quixote |
I ATTRACT TOO MANY MAIDENS, MANAGER ESQUIRE!!! |
| Don Quixote |
I hath accidentally put a spell on the female Sinners, making all of them fall for my dashing good looks and heroic sense of justice! They cannot focus on anything else other than wooing me now! |
| Dante |
<...Huh.> |
| Dante |
<This would explain the meeting I had about an hour ago.> |
|
Location: Aboard Mephistopheles, Dante's Room |
|
Dante's POV |
| Dante |
<So. I have called all three of you in here because I have received an anonymous tip-off about you not being able to focus on your jobs. Why exactly is that?> |
| Ryoshu |
D.Q. |
| Dante |
<...Disqualification? From what? Is this, like, an employee benefits thing I'm not understanding?> |
| Dante |
<'Cause I don't handle any of that.> |
| Ishmael |
She means Don Quixote. |
| Dante |
<Uh, okay?> |
| Dante |
<This does not exactly give me the necessary context I need to proceed. I mean, I know she's been taking nibbles out of the Sinners for some reason, but-> |
| Rodion |
We have all fallen in love with Don Quixote. |
| Dante |
<What? I thought it was just Ishmael who was.> |
| Ishmael |
It was. And then it wasn't. |
| Rodion |
It's like... how do I put this, Dante? Have you ever seen someone and thought "Oh my God, I need to be with them for the rest of my life?" |
| Ishmael |
Or alternatively, "This is the kind of woman I'd wanna get stranded on a island with." |
| Ryoshu |
"D.T.F." |
| Dante |
<Okay, I at least know what that last one means.> |
| Rodion |
That is how we all feel with Don Quixote~ |
| Dante |
<So, what, are you all saying that Don Quixote has some sort of gravitational pull that has made all three of you attracted to her? ...How's this not worked on me?> |
| Ishmael |
Got no clue... The main pattern I'm seeing so far is that it's worked mainly on women. |
| Dante |
<That is a weird coincidence.> |
|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets |
|
Don Quixote's POV |
| Dante |
<So either we have to figure out how to get women to somehow not like you, or... we'd have to sprint all the way to the Outskirts.> |
| Dante |
<Okay, actually, you know what? I have a better idea. We turn around-> |
| Don Quixote |
NOOOOOOOO! THE MAIDENS ARE THERE, DANTE! I CANNOT BE SWALLOWED ALIVE YET, DANTE! I HAVE SO MUCH LEFT TO LIVE FOR! |
| Dante |
<...and find Wei.> |
| Dante |
<He should be able to give you security or something until this wears off.> |
| Heathcliff |
How do you know this won't just immediately backfire? |
| Dante |
<I don't, but...> |
| Outis |
Executive Manager! You must let me marry Don Quixote for the betterment of team morale! |
| Faust |
No. Faust has determined with 101% probability that she is the best partner for Don Quixote. |
| Ryoshu |
Y.C.R.A.F. |
| Rodion |
She's right, y'know. You really can't run away forever, my Chiquita~ |
| Ishmael |
Sooner or later, like fish to bait, you're bound to be caught by a hook eventually... |
| Dante |
<I like that better than our current odds.> |
| Dante |
<It's where the other guys are anyway, so at the very least, assuming this does not work on them, we can get you outta the FOV of the others.> |
| Don Quixote |
Manager Esquire, you genius...! |
| Dante |
<I try.> |
|
Location: Daguanyuan, Nuanxiangwu Interior |
Wei |
Uh-huh... Uh-huh... I see. |
| Wei |
...You know? We should talk to my lady about this. |
| Don Quixote |
No no NO NO- |
|
Five seconds later... |
Jia Xichun |
...If I speak. |
| Don Quixote |
No. |
| Jia Xichun |
If I speak. |
| Don Quixote |
NO. |
| Heathcliff |
Lass. Don't finish that thought. |
Gregor |
Wei, why the hell did you think that would be a good idea? |
| Wei |
My lady was already expressing several thoughts of conferencing with Don Quixote to begin with. I have merely sped up the process of what was already going to happen. |
| Jia Xichun |
Look, all I am saying, Wei, is that I am looking. Respectfully. |
| Heathcliff |
I told your arse not to finish that thought! |
| Jia Xichun |
Only Don Quixote gets to say what I do with my a- |
| Dante |
<We are LEAVING.> |
|
Location: Daguanyuan, Nuanxiangwu Yard |
| Dante |
<You somehow turned her even more lesbian, Don. I don't even- I'm pretty sure that's not even how that is supposed to work.> |
| Hong Lu |
After December, all gays must return to Mother Quixote, it would seem~ |
| Don Quixote |
PLEASE STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT MY DOWNFALL. IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY. |
| Hong Lu |
I see no other way this is going! |
Sinclair |
I knew you'd get owned, gay Family Hierarch, but I didn't know you'd get owned so hard... |
| Sinclair |
...Wait. There's a blush on my face. Why am I blushing. |
| Don Quixote |
IS IT AFFECTING MEN TOO, NOW?! No, Sinclair, do not look into the light in mine eyes! |
| Sinclair |
What the fuck am I feeling. Why am I feeling this?! I'M A MAN. |
| Sinclair |
I'M A MAN! HOW THE FUCK AM I FALLING IN LOVE WITH- Ohhh. The trans thing. |
| Sinclair |
Ahh. Of course. What- What else would it be? |
| Sinclair |
Eh, what the hell am I talking about. AAAAAAABUEBUEBUEBUEBUEBUEBUE- |
|
Randomly, Young Sinclair eyes then locks into mine own. |
|
To stop whatever is about to happen, I stab him with my lance. |
| Dante |
<...Did you have to do that?> |
| Don Quixote |
Yes. |
| Don Quixote |
'Twas the only way to stop another adorable individual for falling for my dashing good looks and roguish charms... |
| Dante |
<Okay, so, I guess I'm rewinding later. Fuck's sake.> |
Yi Sang |
Could aught be done about this random affliction of female attraction towards Don Quixote? |
| Dante |
<As far as we know, no.> |
| Yi Sang |
Mmm. Most unideal. |
| Yi Sang |
...I said the thing. I am now leaving. |
| Don Quixote |
No, wait! Young Yi Sang! Do not disappear into the Aether! |
| Gregor |
He has already left for the next adventure, Don. Or he teleported back to the bus, I don't know which. |
Meursault |
I do not see why you choose to fight this. There is nothing that can be done, and it does not seem like any of these women wish to harm you. Quite the opposite, in fact. |
| Don Quixote |
I-It's a matter of me personally feeling like I need to be ready before pursuing such romantic endeavors, my bricked-up friend... |
| Meursault |
Skill issue. |
| Jia Xichun |
DON QUIXOTE. YOU WILL ADVANCE THE JIA BLOODLINE WITH ME. DO NOT RESIST. |
| Gregor |
Why does she have all her Heishou packs behind her? |
| Dante |
<Okay, welp. I have exactly one more plan.> |
| Dante |
<Given Yi Sang's most likely respawned on the bus, we can drag Sinclair's body back to it and then I'll have enough time to get us all through the Walpurgis door early so we can hide. We're a six person loadout including Yi Sang, so if we just pretend we're doing a Lux, Don Quixote's accidental harem won't notice.> |
| Don Quixote |
T-The Walpurgis door?? Prithee, are you sure we do not have any other option? |
| Dante |
<Why are you scared of the Walpurgis door-> |
|
Location: The Walpurgis Door |
| Dante |
<...> |
| Don Quixote |
I tried to warn you. |
|
Queen of Hatred had caught me off-guard while we were getting an early inspection of the place we were going to. The abnormality had breached containment on her own in order to hug me from behind. |
|
She has not let go. I have felt several kisses upon mine cheeks. |
| Dante |
<You mean to fucking tell me an alternative version of yourself flirted with Queen of Hatred so hard that she has somehow permeated that logic through Mirror Worlds in order for you two to become history's greatest roommates.> |
| Don Quixote |
Dante, she fights for justice. I could have regaled you with mine own words of this most obvious future. |
The Queen of Hatred |
Can't help it, y'know? It's like we were just made to be... You might say she's the villain of my heart~ |
| Dante |
<I hate living. I hate living so much.> |
| Gregor |
Well, at least they don't know we have Don in here. |
|
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK |
| Rodion |
Open the door, Dante~! We know you have Don in there! |
| Hong Lu |
They know we have Don in here. |
| The Queen of Hatred |
Bestie... are they trying to steal you from me? |
| The Queen of Hatred |
Are there evildoers afoot?! |
| Dante |
<Meursault, barricade the door.> |
| Meursault |
Will do, Manager. |
|
Meursault, with his raw, exuberant strength, puts his back against the door to keep it from being knocked over. I hope it works, for mine sanity might not be able to handle that many adoring fans breaking it down! |
|
...It did not work. They knocked the door down. |
| Meursault |
Ow. |
| Hong Lu |
...They knocked the door down.
|
| Dante |
<I can see that.> |
|
With great haste, all of my potential suitors enter the room at once. |
| Ishmael |
Why is she getting to hold Don Quixote that way? It should be ME. |
| Ryoshu |
Can it, Blind Obsession. You have no clue what she needs. |
| Ryoshu |
What she needs is someone on her level. Someone to encourage all of her dangerous habits to keep our group safe. |
| Outis |
No, what she NEEDS is someone grounded. Someone who is also on her level and statistically better than all Sinners named Ryoshu. |
| Ryoshu |
I will cut you. |
| Outis |
I will run you over with a horse. |
| Jia Xichun |
None of these other plebians can say they run a District, now can they? What Don Quixote clearly needs is a powerful individual that can always... always keep her protected from harm. |
| Faust |
Faust can run this entire City in a matter of seconds, fool. I am the clear, correct, optimal choice. |
| Rodion |
...Uh... |
| Rodion |
Well, I'm probably the most visually appealing choice for a cute knight like Don Quixote, if that's worth anything. Wouldn't you wanna wake up to a princess looking like this every night~? |
| Rodion |
I make for an excellent cuddle partner, by the way. Greg can attest. |
| Gregor |
Oh, we're just airing private business out now, I guess. |
| The Queen of Hatred |
All of you have pretty sound arguments, however, I can turn into a fucking dragon. |
| The Queen of Hatred |
Pretty cool, huh, bestie? Huh? Huh? Huh, DQ? Huh~? |
| Gregor |
Is this how it feels seeing a man drown while you're somebody dying of thirst? |
| Meursault |
You apparently have a cuddle partner. Drowning how? |
| Hong Lu |
I can tell you from experience that this is actually way more nerve-wracking than it has any right to be. You do NOT want this, ahaha~ |
| Gregor |
I have a bug arm. I would be lucky to have anyone. |
| Hong Lu |
I hate learning how to have emotions, because that actually made me kind of sad. |
| Meursault |
Skill issue. |
| Heathcliff |
Do I technically have ownership of the Catherine harem if no other Heathcliff knows about Catherine? |
| Dante |
<What in the fuck shit are you talking about???> |
| Yi Sang |
The only way any of this could get any more awkward is if that blue-haired woman from 200 years ago showed back up in Don Quixote's life. |
| Don Quixote |
You mean Bari? |
| Don Quixote |
...There is no way she knows where we even are right now. If she shows up, that would be- |
|
TELEPORTATION |
Bari |
Yo, what's up? It's me, Bari from Canto 7: The Dream Ending™. |
|
| Dante |
<...> |
| Yi Sang |
I had said that as a jest. |
| Bari |
Noticed a lot of gay energy coming from this room specifically, and like, I'm not NOT gonna show up to see what's happening. |
| Bari |
...Sancho? Actually, yeah, that checks out. Always figured you were a lil' closeted. |
| Don Quixote |
... |
| Bari |
Is now a bad time? Your face is kinda lookin' red. |
| Don Quixote |
aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- |
|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets Kezhan, Don Quixote's Room |
| Don Quixote |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- |
| Don Quixote |
...Oh. I'm back in bed. |
| Don Quixote |
O-O-O-Of course! 'Twas nothing but a hollow, juvenile dream. Why else would I have had it? |
| Don Quixote |
...Why doth my bed feel heavier than normal? |
| Bari |
Morning, sunshine. |
| Don Quixote |
Huh? |
|
Upon further inspection, I have found that it is not a dream. All eight of my potential suitors have infested my bed, all of them in such beautiful pajama attires fitting of princesses... |
| Rodion |
You knocked yourself out the moment Bari showed up, Chiquita~! You doin' okay? |
| Don Quixote |
I-I-I-I... I-I... |
| Don Quixote |
...Father, please help. |
| Ryoshu |
Your dad's not coming, knight. Though you do have a mother ready and willing to protect you. |
| The Queen of Hatred |
Yeah, yeah, sure, but do you possess the heroic power of Arcane Beats? |
| Outis |
Only you can resolve this issue, Don Quixote. Though I trust that you shall make the most obvious choice and pick me. |
| Jia Xichun |
Or you could, y'know, choose me. The actual objectively correct choice. |
| Faust |
Faust still concludes that Faust is the most obvious choice. In this essay, I will... |
|
The words of them all tune out slowly, my brain melting as I watch them all fight over me like this. |
|
So much pressure... So many beautiful maidens... |
|
HOWEVER WILL I GO ON? HOW CAN THE ADVENTURES OF THE INCREDIBLE FIXER, DON QUIXOTE, CONTINUE AFTER SUCH TWISTS AND TURNS? |
| Ishmael |
Y'know, actually, I don't know why the hell we're fighting over this. We are in the City. It's enough of a hellhole with these corporations fighting for our suffering as is. |
| Ishmael |
Why don't we just... share her? |
| Rodion |
...Hoooooly shit, I didn't think of that. See, that's why I fuck with Ishy. She's smart. |
| Rodion |
And it's not in like, the same way Faust is smart where she'll lord it over you. She's just casually smart while Faust is competitively smart. |
| Faust |
It is not a competition if I am simply smarter. |
| Don Quixote |
You are suggesting that instead of having to choose one maiden, I can just have... eight of them? |
| Ishmael |
I mean, if everyone else is down. |
| Faust |
Faust... finds this to be an adequate solution. |
| Outis |
Not sure how I'm going to explain this to Penelope, but, uhhh... hmmm. I'm not necessarily opposed to it. |
|
The others hath quickly agreed... What is happening??? |
| Jia Xichun |
Okay, well, now that we've diplomatically agreed on this process, I do not know what exactly to do next. |
| The Queen of Hatred |
We coooooould... find some villains and jump them, maybe. |
| Don Quixote |
YES! YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! |
| Don Quixote |
T-T-The possibility of going out on adventures with so many maidens and protecting people from evil... It is making me combust with excitement from thinking about it! I must put on my best suit of armor to protect you all! |
| Faust |
Wait. Don Quixote, be careful when hopping off the- |
| Faust |
...Bed. |
| Bari |
Oh shit, did Rocinante just come off? |
| Don Quixote |
...FUCK. |
|
EXPLOOOOSION! |
|
Location: H Corp. Backstreets Kezhan, Don Quixote's Room |
| Don Quixote |
NO! |
| Don Quixote |
...Oh. Thank goodness. I believe I hath suffered from a dream within a dream... |
| Don Quixote |
My maidens? Where are my maidens? ... |
| Don Quixote |
...Haaah... Maidenless once again. |
|
Well, it is not like my brain was meant to handle having the attention of so many beautiful women all at once... |
|
...To think, hundreds of years ago, I would not have entertained even having one maiden. |
|
Damn you, father... Even the most juvenile of your juvenile dreams have been passed onto me. |
|
Still, though, in hindsight, at least having one would be quite the entertaining thought. |
|
I hadn't even planned having a kindred before, but a maiden... one that could be my wife... |
|
This makes me want to write a letter. |
|
...I doubt such a gesture of appreciation will ever be seen. But there is one person within that octuple of potential suitors that I do greatly miss. |
|
Location: Daguanyuan Gardens |
| Don Quixote |
Had a dream about you recently. 'Twas convoluted, and you had only showed your face mere moments before it prematurely terminated, but you were there. |
| Don Quixote |
One day, I may hope to send you this letter for real. I would put it in your hands... and we would be able to regale each other with stories we hath missed from our lives. |
| Don Quixote |
I'm sure my father would like to know that you are okay too, my knight. I hope we talk soon. Signed... Sancho. |
| Don Quixote |
Haaaah... There. I doubt I will ever see her in person again, but if I do, this is what I shall approach her with. |
| Don Quixote |
One day, Bari... One day, the moon shall once again travel side-by-side with a de La Mancha. And when that time comes, it shall be glorious. |
|
... |
|
TELEPORTATION |
| Bari |
How about today? |
| Don Quixote |
AAAAAAAAAAAA- |
