Chapter Text
It was supposed to be a peaceful morning at the Pie dinner. Prowl went in early to start making daily pies for their incoming customers. Currently, Prowl was working on a chocolate banana pie, mixing the ingredients in a bowl with a spatula. He couldn’t help but put a slight smile on his face plates for his creation that customers would love. Unfortunately, that all had to go away when Bumblebee spoke up, one of his coworkers at the diner.
“Prowl you’ve put it off long enough”
“What?” Prowl was taken back. He was so focused on the current pie he was making.
“You know what” Bumblebee and Bluestreak (another coworker) said at the same time.
Prowl grumbled to himself and followed Bumblebee and Bluestreak back to the bathroom. This sure as heck be a waste of time. Prowl couldn’t deal with another problem. He sighed when he sat down on the bench that was in the bathroom and looked at his guidance systems, waiting for another signal to pop up that wasn't his own spark.
“One spark, One spark, come one” Bumblebee chanted, waiting beside Prowl for any news.
“Dear Primus, please protect Prowl from the pit of unwanted carrying” Bluestreak paced, placing both his servos on his hips.
“I don't want a sparkling, I don't want any trouble, I just want to do my job. That’s all I want to do. Make pies” Prowl mumbled, holding up his arm where the screen of his guidance systems were showing.
“I thought you said you don't sleep with your husband anymore?” Bumblebee questioned. Prowl just sat there, ignoring Bumblebee's question. Luckily, Bluestreak answered for him.
“He got him drunk one night. On that special high-grade he keeps around for himself”
“I should have NEVER had any. I do STUPID things, like sleep with my husband–”
“OH NO…”
“What? WHAT?” Bumblebee and Bluestreak crowd around Prowl, trying to look at the screen.
“Frag” Prowl breathed as he stared down at the screen. Prowl couldn’t understand. No. This couldn’t be happening. Not to him. No. Please.
“One spark or two sparks?” Bumblebee demanded, still trying to look over at the screen Prowl held up to his face-plates.
“Two sparks, my spark and another spark–”
“Let me see” Bumblebee grabbed Prowl's arm and looked at the guidance system report.
“Oh Prowl, two sparks, two definite sparks. There's no mistaking it” Bumblebee gave Prowl a sympathetic look.
“What's going on in there? Where are my waitresses?” A voice from behind the bathroom door. Prowl, Bumblebee, and Bluestreak all looked over to the door, a little flabbergasted about the situation still. But yet, the voice was a familiar one. A voice oh so similar to their boss.
“Hold your aft, Starscreem. Prowl’s not feeling well”
“What?”
“None of your business you blowhord” Bumblebee teased.
“I'm fine, Starscream. I’ll be right out!” Prowl scrunched his face plates.
“Well hurry up!” Starscream said impatiently. The three could hear Starscream's peds walk away from the door. Relief quickly settled and their shoulders all slumped. Bumblebee and Bluestreak only stared at each other, giving each other a look, before glancing back at Prowl who still sat on edge on the bench. Prowl flung his arm down, not wanting to see the clear sign that he was sparked. With a huff Prowl mumbled to himself.
“Are you okay–”
“SHHHH” Prowl cut off Bluestreak.
“Im inventing a new pie in my head. Tomorrow’s blue-plate special. I'm calling it…I don’t want Tarantulas sparkling pie”
“I–I don't think we can write that on the menu..”
“Then i’ll just call it bad baby pie”
“That’s it Prowl” Bumblebee sat next to Prowl on the bench, along with Bluestreak. The two knew the only way to stop Prowl's tac-net from over working itself was to let Prowl make up new pies on the spot. Call it crazy, but it does help.
“It’s a quiche of egg and brie cheese with smoked ham” Prowl didn’t know he had closed his optics, but he realized when he opened them, feeling a bit better about this whole situation. But it dawned on him. With a sparkling on the way, there was zero chance Prowl would ever be able to step foot out of that house.
“Im never getting away from Tarantulas now…” Prowl stared blankly.
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After finishing for the day. Prowl helped clean up the tables and booths, and helped clean dishes, anything to help stall time. Though after finishing everything with Bluestreak and Bumblebee there to assist, Prowl let reality set in. Everything is a disaster now. Prowl sighed as he walked out of the diner and looked up to the sky. It was bright with pink and white shining clouds and a darkening blue sky, there was always something mesmerizing about the sky. The cyber-crickets started chirping and a slight breeze drifted by. Prowl was caught up in his mind; he didn't see Bluestreak or Bumblebee sit down next to him on the porch.
“So are you gonna tell him?” Bluestreak asked. Prowl could tell Bluestreak was concerned, and since he’s known Bluestreak forever, he never was not on edge.
“Not sure…If my plan comes true and I can make my big escape from him in a couple of months–Maybe he doesn't even have to know–”
“Are you sure it’s his sparkling?” Bumblebee chirped smugly next to Prowl on his left.
“What!?” Bluestreak squawked.
“You know everything I do! I never cheated” Prowl looked at Bumblebee sternly. Prowl fiddled a bit with the pie he held in his servos. He never cheated. Yet sometimes he wish he did.
“Ya know I feel bad for you, Prowl” Bluestreak piped up.
“I mean–I would do anything to meet another mech. And Bumblebee’s husband is a senile fruit cake”
“BLUESTREAK!”
“You knowwwwww it’s true” Bluestreak turned his attention back to Prowl.
“But here you are, married to this handsome mech–”
“Who’s got VERY good…uh…a very good face…”
“VERY good face” Bluestreak agreed. Prowl knew the two of them were wrong. But he liked to hear their efforts being displayed on a silver platter for him to hear.
“And your spark with a little femme–”
“How do you know its a femme?--”
“We don’t know if it’s a femme” Prowl crossed his arms over his chest. He gave Bluestreak a disapproving face.
“Neither of us would trade places with you for one second, now would we Bumblebee?”
“No we wouldn’t, Prowl, no we wouldn’t” Bumblebee glanced back at Bluestreak, agreeing with his statement. Prowl looked at them, disbelief that they would say all that to make him feel better. He knew what his life would be like and he agrees with them, but not in the way they mean. He would NEVER trade with some other mechs life if they had the exact one he was currently in.
“EXCEPT, just once in my life, I’d like to be able to make a pie half as good as Prowl could make a pie” Bumblebee held his servo over Prowls, meant to be reassuring.
“Yeah me too” Bluestreak huffed with a smile. Prowl only rolled his eyes at the twos rant.
“Come on, so what if I could make a decent pie, nobody cares” Prowl soured his own mood without even thinking about it.
Bumblebee grumbled angrily. He made sure Prowl was looking at him.
“Look at this Prowl” Bumblebee gestured to his windshields on his chassis.
“You can clearly see my right windshield is higher than my left windshield…” Prowl was startled. He wasn’t exactly sure what brought Bumblebee to the fact that his windshields were not coordinated with one another.
“...And this one here has a pasty pasty proto frame. Im stuck in this marriage to drooling phil and Bluestreak eats TV energon meals alone, but still I wouldn’t rather be you” Bumblebee finished.
“I do have a pasty pasty proto frame” Bluestreak gave Bumblebee a sad look before returning his gaze back up to the sky.
“PROWL! PROWL!”
The three looked off into the near distance to see Prowl’s husband, Tarantulas walking towards them. Oh great. Here we go again.
“Yeah I know you're here…” Prowl mumbled under his breath after hearing his name called several more times. Prowl sighed as he started to pack some of his things into his subspace storage pocket.
“You know we’re here for you, Prowl” Bluestreak quickly grabbed one of Prowl's servos reassuringly. Bluestreak surely was worried about his friend and what might come to him.
“And if you do tell him–”
“SHHH” Prowl cut Bumblebee off.
“Hey Prowlzie” Tarantulas spat out.
“Hey” Prowl shuffled off his safe seat next to his co-workers and walked over to his husband. Prowl was hoping Tarantulas wouldn’t say anything about him working later than usual. He glanced back to see both Bluestreak and Bumblebee give Tarantulas a quick glare when he wasn’t facing them.
“Hiya there, Tarantulas. We all just agreed your face is super attractive, hurray for you” Bumblebee said mockingly, but by his tone no one would know.
“Woohoo!” Both Bumblebee and Bluestreak said aloud.
Tarantulas only gave them a glance before wrapping a possessive arm around Prowl’s waist as they made their way over to the monorail transport. Prowl never liked it when he placed his servos on him like that, it made his tac-net scream out that something was wrong. That now wasn’t the time for any metal on metal situations. Unfortunately, sometimes it always lead to things Prowl never wanted to do.
“I don’t care if he is a pie genius. I wouldn’t trade places with him” Bluestreak admitted to Bumblebee as they watched Prowl get taken away.
“No, me neither” Bumblebee agreed with a nod of disapproval at Tarantulas.
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Once the two got onto a monorail transport with the ticket Tarantulas used, they made their way into one of the roomettes. Prowl was forcefully sat down side by side to Tarantulas, thankfully that arm that was wrapped around his waist was lost as Tarantulas pulled out some paper work from his job and set it on his lap. Prowl looked out the window, not wanting to start any sort of conversation with him, knowing he wouldn’t be able to speak freely.
“You don’t look happy to see me” Tarantulas perked up as he saw Prowl distancing himself.
“Are you happy to see me?”
“Yeah, I'm happy to see you” Prowl turned to face Tarantulas with a fake small smile.
“I even brought you today’s special, kick in the metal pie, cinnamon spice custard” Prowl held the pie up to Tarantulas face, showing that, he indeed, did bring him a piece of pie.
“You don’t give me a kiss” Tarantulas listed, looking over at Prowl a little agitated. When he saw that Prowl didn’t move or say anything, Tarantulas put his servo up to his face.
“Well, give me one” he demanded.
Prowl quickly did as his husband said. He thought to himself that, if he got this over with quickly it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the aft when he gets back to Tarantulas house. Prowl never really thought of the home as both his and Tarantulas, even though Prowl was paying the bills too (forcibly by all means). It never sat right with him ever since he left Praxus to be with his ‘dream husband’, little did he know everything would change after the conjunx ritus was done.
“That’s more like it” Tarantulas said cockily, bringing Prowl back to his misery.
“Now, where is that money you made today”
“It’s here in my subspace”
“Well now hand it over” Tarantula stuck out his servo. Prowl opened up his subspace and pulled out the shanix. He glanced at the loss of the shanix in his servo as he was coerced to give it to Tarantulas.
“Not much here is there” Prowl looked nervously at the shanix now placed in Tarantula’s lap. Of course Prowl didn’t show that he was, he always kept a simple straight face when around Tarantulas.
“It was a slow day” Prowl argued.
“Yeah, well if you have any more of those I'm not sure it's worth working there anymore” Prowl wearingly thought about that. He would have to leave his job if he wasn’t making the right amount of income for Tarantulas.
“I think I might have you home rather making ME pies all cycle long” Tarantulas continued.
“You didn’t ask me how my day was”
“How was your day?” Prowl asked halfheartedly. Prowl wasn’t paying no mind to Tarantula’s as he was thinking about the loss of his job. Though, he flinched when he responded that way.
“Ask me like you care about it!” Tarantulas raised his voice.
“How was your day, Tarantulas?” Prowl asked slowly, giving Tarantulas optic contact.
“Well you know, Razorclaws on my case again, about the mortgages and everything. But I don't make bank policy and I told him that!” Tarantulas ranted. Prowl only stared out the window.
“Now you got to listen–”
Prowl shut his optics before Tarantulas could say anything that would stick in his mind. His tac-net was working itself up again so he went back to a place he liked. He started thinking what pies he would make, and the one currently he called ‘I hate my husband pie’. It was filled with bittersweet chocolate, but not sweetened. The chocolate would be made into pudding then drowned in caramel. It sounded right in Prowl’s mind. He hummed as he thought about how it made him feel some sense of solace when sitting next to Tarantulas.
“--Your not listening to me” Prowl snapped out of his thoughts and clicked his helm back to Tarantula’s.
“Yeah I am–”
“What’d I say?”
“You were glitching about Razorclaw”
“What were the exact words I said!?” Tarantulas grabbed Prowl’s thigh and gripped it hard.
“Well, I can't exactly repeat them–”
“You're not listening to me!” He clenched harder on Prowls thigh to the point it started to dent.
“It hurts my feelings” Tarantulas grumbled lowly.
Monorail transport, stopping at #########, was heard over the comms as the monorail stopped its tracks, literally begging the two to get off of the train.
“Now please just say your sorry so I can let you out of this roomette on this monorail so you can make me some dinner”
“I'm sorry Tarantulas for not being able to repeat your words. Something I should be able to do” Prowl mocked.
“Whenever I need it”
“Whenever you need it”
“Alright then”
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Prowl and Tarantulas walked into their house, Prowl closing the door behind them. He made his way to the kitchen and pulled out the piece of pie from his subspace and gently placed it on a plate that was microwavable. Then he placed it into the microwave for a couple of seconds before taking it out. Tarantulas was waiting at the dinner table which was on the other side of the kitchen wall. Sometimes Prowl wished he could just jump out this Kitchen window and run away without Tarantulas knowing.
“Where's the pie!?” Prowl heard the angry voice from the other room.
Prowl sighed as he grabbed another tray of a different pie that Tarantulas might want to have with this different slice. He walked over to the dinner table and placed the pies down in the middle. He sat himself next to Tarantulas but on the long side of the table so he wasn’t as close as he thought. Prowl watched as the arachnid picked up a fork and started eating the pie. He sat there quietly until something came to his mind, though if he wanted what he was thinking to work, he should probably butter Tarantulas up a bit.
“You look handsome tonight, Taranty” Prowl purred.
“Thank you, hunny” Tranatulas grinned as he stopped eating and looked at Prowl with that smile before resuming.
“Hm, it’s been a long time since you’ve called me Taranty, I like it” Tarantulas continued to smugly smile.
“And you look pretty tonight” Prowl was shocked to hear that back. Usually when Prowl gave Tarantulas compliments it was always one sided, never was he complimented back.
“Hey, you're not eating some of this pie, why not?” That was where he would start the big question.
“I'm thinking…I want to borrow some shanix from you…” Prowl stated, hoping nothing harsh would be directed at him.
“And my answer to that is no–”
“There’s a big pie bake off in Iacon in a couple of months, and I'd like to go–”
“And my answer to that is no” Prowl could tell that Tarantulas was starting to get annoyed by Prowl, but he couldn’t help himself. If Prowl won this contest he would have the shanix he needed. The shanix he needed to get out of this fragging pit hole.
“The prize money is pretty good” Prowl was smiling when he said that but it faded so fast when Tarantula dropped his fork down on his plate and stared at Prowl.
“Why do you need shanix?” Tarantulas tapped his fist down on the table, warning Prowl.
“I give you everything you need, don’t I?”
“Absolutely…”
“You want for nothing…don't you?”
“Yes, Tarantulas, I want for nothing…” Prowl felt stupid. He shouldn’t even have asked him. Tarantulas was as stubborn as it gets and when he says that ‘you want for nothing’ really makes his gears turn. Little did he knew, Prowl had a little something 'up his sleeve'.
“I mean–your pies ain’t bad, but why's that so important when you’ve got me to take care off?”
“Good point, Tarantulas” Prowl nodded, mainly to himself, wishing this conversation would end now.
When the late cylce arrived Prowl got ready for bed beside Tarantulas. He had to do everything beside him. Just the side piece that lingered in the sun, just waiting to get scrapped up by cyber hawks and eat him alive. Prowl couldn’t help but think this was over, this was it, as he laid next to his husband in the berth. But, Prowl remembers the extra shanix he kept hidden in his other subspace. Now would be the time. Prowl got up from the berth and headed out into the living room. He found the spot under a chair and squished the shanix into the seams, keeping it hidden if Tarantulas looked under it. Prowl then quickly made his way back over to the berth and settled in again, still keeping his distance from the arachnids grasp.
Maybe things will turn up for him? Maybe he can save enough of this shanix to get out…but what of the sparkling? He still couldn't keep his mind from that fact. He will have to do something about that, but for now, he really needs to rest. Next cycle will be just as eventful as this one.