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Greg can’t remember having been this happy before. A few weeks have passed since he and Alex first kissed and Greg still can’t quite believe that it happened. Or that it’s still happening.
The foundations of their friendship – relationship, Greg reminds himself with an exhilarating rush of affection for the man currently in his arms – have shifted and yet nothing has really changed. They’re still the same, bickering over the same things, indulging in Alex’s attempts at banter, now with the additional bonus of kissing and cuddling. Greg doesn’t even mind that Alex doesn’t want to take things further. Being with him, like this, feels like the most natural thing in the world.
Alex’s confession about his sexuality probably should have surprised Greg more than it did. It was clear that Alex expected Greg to be thrown off by it, but, if anything, to Greg it makes sense. Being asexual is just another piece of the puzzle that is Alex Horne.
It’s all new to Greg, who, admittedly, had never even considered the possibility of not having sex with a partner. He’s used to women – and the occasional men he has dated – expecting him to take charge and initiate physical intimacy. It’s quite refreshing that Alex has no expectations of such kind. That isn’t to say that Greg doesn’t desire him. He does want to have sex with Alex, but the knowledge that Alex doesn’t want that, makes the idea off-putting.
It’s still hard for Alex to be upfront about what he wants and doesn’t want. Greg suspects that Alex’s previous partners haven’t been listening to him and he tries to be patient when Alex struggles to tell him what is bothering him. After some coaxing, he got Alex to admit that he likes kissing, but isn’t fond of tongues. One exceptionally awkward morning, Alex finally confessed that, while he loves it when Greg holds him, feeling Greg get hard makes him uncomfortable. It may have been the first and only time Greg has been glad for the side effects of his medicines.
‘What are you thinking about?’
Alex’s voice is sleepy. They’re in bed and Alex is spooned back against Greg. He has positioned them so that their bodies are flush together and a little bit of Greg’s weight is holding him down. Greg realizes that he has been quiet for some time now.
‘You,’ he answers honestly. ‘Us.’
‘Hmm. Nice thoughts then.’
Greg can hear the smile. He presses a soft kiss against Alex’s neck and Alex squirms.
‘That tickles.’
‘I know.’ Greg presses another kiss there, and another, tightening his arms when Alex laughs and wriggles, trying to get free.
‘Greg!’
‘All right.’ Greg loosens his grip and Alex settles back against him.
Usually at this moment Greg’s partner would have taken things further, scooting back and pushing their arse against Greg’s crotch, possibly turning and kissing him heatedly, feeling him up. Alex doesn’t do any of that. He has explained to Greg that he doesn’t feel the need to. He doesn’t feel sexual attraction to anyone. His body still reacts to the right stimulation, and when he orgasms it feels nice, but he doesn’t enjoy it when other people touch him and doesn’t want to touch other people either.
To Greg’s surprise, he doesn’t miss having sex. Alex, like Greg, loves cuddling and Greg is perfectly content to spent the evening curled up on the couch, kissing and simply holding each other.
‘Ehm- Greg?’
‘Hmm?’
Alex shifts his hips away from Greg’s and only then Greg realizes that he has been growing hard against Alex’s backside.
‘Shit, I’m sorry.’ He lets go of Alex and turns onto his back, arm covering his face in embarrassment.
‘That’s all right. It happens.’ Alex turns over and drapes an arm over Greg’s waist, snuggling up against Greg’s side.
It’s the most unperturbed Alex has reacted to feeling Greg get an erection against him and it’s doing nothing to tone down Greg’s arousal.
Greg feels his cheeks grow warm. He glances at Alex through his fingers. ‘You know, I used to feel embarrassed about having trouble getting it up…’
Alex smothers a chuckle in Greg’s chest.
‘Don’t laugh,’ Greg grumbles. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m assaulting you. Again.’
Alex lifts his head and searches Greg’s eyes. ‘Greg, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’s a natural reaction.’
It helps a little that Alex, for once, is staying calm, but Greg can’t shake the discomfort. His skin tingles where Alex is touching him and he’s hyperaware of the arousal pooling low in his belly.
Greg sighs and ruefully pets Alex’s hand. ‘Yeah, I don’t think this natural reaction is going to disappear all by itself. I’m gonna take a cold shower.’
‘Wait.’
Alex’s palm presses lightly against Greg’s sternum, preventing him from sitting up. Greg stares at him. Alex looks back pensively.
‘When’s the last time you took care of yourself?’
‘What?’ Greg splutters, surprised by both the question and Alex’s directness.
‘When did you-‘
‘I heard you the first time,’ Greg interjects. His face is burning. ‘Does that matter?’
‘Answer the question, please, Greg?’ There’s not a trace of amusement in Alex’s voice.
‘I don’t know.’
‘Before or after we kissed?’
Greg closes his eyes briefly, feeling another wave of embarrassment. He feels trapped in a corner he wasn’t aware existed. ‘Before,’ he admits. ‘It felt… disrespectful. To touch myself while thinking about you.’
‘Greg…’
‘Don’t.’ Greg says. He doesn’t want Alex to start psychoanalysing Greg’s masturbatory habits. It’s weird enough already that his semi doesn’t want to admit defeat.
‘No, Greg, listen to me.’ Alex pushes himself up on his elbows. His face is flushed, but his expression serious. ‘I wouldn’t mind it, I promise. The fact that I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to-‘ He frowns, searching for words. ‘You shouldn’t feel bad about masturbating. I- You know. I do it too. Sometimes.’
‘You do?’ Greg examines Alex curiously.
‘Of course I do.’ Alex nods rapidly. ‘It’s maintenance. Stress relief. And it feels nice.’
‘Maintenance,’ Greg repeats, trying to wrap his head around this new piece of information.
Alex smiles patiently. ‘I told you, my body works just fine. I even get aroused sometimes.’
‘Oh,’ Greg says. He lays his head back down and stares at the ceiling, letting Alex’s words sink in.
Alex rests his chin on one hand and regards Greg with a mischievous expression. Only his voice betrays that he must be feeling a little nervous. ‘How’s you natural reaction doing?’
Greg groans and fights the urge to smack Alex over the head. ‘Please don’t call it that.’
‘Fine, how’s-‘
‘On second thought, please don’t call it anything at all.’
Alex laughs. The sound is freeing and Greg feels himself grin in response. Then Alex becomes serious again.
‘Greg, what I meant to say: If you want to get off, it’s fine. I promise.’
‘What, now?’
Alex shrugs, suddenly looking a little uncertain. ‘If you want. I could- I could stay here. Or not.’
Greg stares at Alex as if he’s gone insane. Maybe Alex is.
‘You want to watch me jerk off?’
‘I wouldn’t mind it if you touched yourself while I’m here,’ Alex corrects. He blushes furiously and drops his gaze. ‘I don’t want to touch you, but I do want you to feel good. If you touch yourself, that would work.’
Against all odds Greg’s dick twitches. He’s more aroused than he has been in weeks, but no matter how much his body screams at him to get on with it and wrap a hand around himself, Greg’s mind is still not cooperating.
Alex lies back down and curls up against Greg’s side, head pillowed on his shoulder, arm slung over his chest. He sighs contently. Greg’s arm automatically comes up around Alex’s back, before he freezes.
‘Relax,’ Alex murmurs and Greg can’t wrap his head around how Alex is suddenly so comfortable in this situation.
‘Alex, I’m not sure this is a good idea.’
‘I am,’ Alex says simply. He presses a kiss against Greg’s shoulder. Greg can feel Alex’s limbs grow heavier as he sets an example and relaxes against him. ‘No pressure. Just… do what you’re comfortable with.’
Greg takes a few deep breaths and tries to force his muscles to relax. It takes some time as his brain is still not convinced of this plan. Then Alex’s thumb strokes over his side and the touch sends a hot bolt of arousal down his core. His heart rate picks up immediately and his thigh muscles tense up.
‘Fuck…’ he breathes.
Alex hums in reply and continues rubbing his thumb over Greg’s skin.
A few deep breaths and a small existential crisis later, Greg’s free hand shoots down to cup himself over his pants.
His hips buck up, chasing the friction. It feels like relief. It feels amazing. It’s not nearly what he needs and at the same time he’s so close to coming already it’s embarrassing.
Alex hasn’t moved, hasn’t even glanced down. He simply smiles at Greg when their eyes lock. It’s hot in its own twisted way and Greg wants to tear his gaze away, but he can’t.
His hand moves on autopilot, freeing himself from his pants, wrapping around the shaft. Somewhere in the back of his mind still rings a warning, a conviction that this is wrong. It feels so right that Greg doesn’t care. His thumb sweeps over the head of his erection, and if his mouth falls open in a gasp while he’s still staring into Alex’s kind, curious eyes, Greg doesn’t care about that either.
His hand speeds up, adding a little twist in his strokes that makes his nerve endings tingle. Heat pools between his legs, wave after wave after wave. His balls are tightening, breath coming in short pants. He’s chasing, chasing, chasing his orgasm, but it remains frustratingly out of reach.
Because Alex is still, unambiguously, soft in his pants against Greg’s hip. Because Alex is studying him like he’s some kind of scientific experiment.
And then Greg’s stubborn brain gives in.
Because Alex is also still holding him and watching him, full of trust and kindness and love.
Greg’s hips stutter. His head falls back, eyes shut as pleasure shoots through his body, every nerve ending singing. He shoots over his fist and stomach in hot bursts, gasping and panting and maybe saying Alex’s name.
Too soon it’s over. A heavy, tingling sensation spreads through Greg’s limbs and he sags into the mattress. He stares at the ceiling, breathing heavily, heart thumping so hard against his ribs he’s sure Alex must be able to feel it.
‘Wow…’ Alex sighs. And then he’s up in Greg’s face, staring down in awe, lips swollen and pupils dilated and very much not unaffected by the whole thing.
Just not in that way.
Greg realizes he doesn’t even need to actively remind himself of that anymore.
‘Can I kiss you?’ Alex whispers, hovering so close to Greg’s lips already that Greg suspects he’s only just holding himself back.
‘Yes please,’ he answers.
He expects Alex to be rough and urgent, but when he kisses Greg it’s firm, yet soft, and incredibly tender. Light fingers stroke his cheek, run through his beard. Greg has just enough brainpower left to keep his soiled hand by his side and content himself with running his other palm over the expanse of Alex’s back.
‘That,’ Alex whispers, ‘Was amazing. You are amazing.’
Greg’s lips aren’t cooperating, so he kisses Alex’s again. A chaste peck on the mouth that feels so much more significant than it has felt with any other person.
Alex pulls back, smiling down curiously. ‘How did it feel?’
Greg considers it. ‘A bit weird,’ he admits. ‘It’s… I keep thinking it’s wrong.’
‘It’s not.’
‘Yeah, I know that now.’ Greg lightly cups Alex’s cheek. ‘Thank you.’
‘No, thank you. For trusting me with this.’ Alex turns his head and presses his lips to Greg’s palm. Alex’s beard is rough and Greg pulls back his hand with a soft giggle.
‘That tickles.’
‘I know,’ Alex smirks. He grabs Greg’s wrist and leans in to rub his beard against Greg’s palm again.
‘Alex! I swear-’
Laughing, Alex releases him and rolls away.
Greg snorts and shakes his head, but he can’t hold back the wide smile that pulls on his mouth. He swats at Alex’s back for good measure and Alex peeks over his shoulder, eyes shining with amusement.
‘You should take that shower now. You’re all sticky.’
‘And whose fault is that?’
Alex giggles.
He’s right though. Greg feels a little dirty with his own cum drying on his skin.
‘Fine.’ Greg sighs exaggeratedly and sits up. ‘Cold shower and then bed.’ He grabs Alex’s arm. ‘But you’re joining me.’
Alex shrieks with laughter. He wriggles, but allows Greg to pull him into the bathroom.
A short while later, when Alex is leaning against him under the hot stream, Greg realizes that this might just be better than any sex he’s ever had.