Chapter Text
It starts with sunscreen in the eye.
“No, baby, not your tongue,” Yamaguchi says gently, trying to dab at Haru’s cheeks while the little boy wriggles like a live fish in his lap.
“Mouu, 's spicy!” Haru complains, eyes wide, hands flailing, knocking the bottle of water over in the process.
“Osamu!” Yamaguchi yelps as it tips, soaking his jeans.
“I got it, I got it,” Osamu laughs, juggling three bento boxes, a camera bag, and a cartoon-character-shaped fan as he swoops in to catch the bottle. “That’s the price of raisin’ a future Olympian, ain’t it?”
“We’re just trying to get him inside the park,” Yamaguchi huffs, pushing damp bangs off his forehead.
40 minutes later...
Haru’s energy is boundless.
He sprints toward every single mascot character like it’s his personal destiny to tackle them, dragging Osamu’s wrist nearly out of socket.
“Osamu—he's gonna take out that penguin,” Yamaguchi warns.
“Too late—!”
Thump. Waddle. Topple.
The penguin mascot crashes backwards with a muffled oof as Haru launches into his legs screaming, “PENGU!!!”
Osamu lifts Haru off the poor man in a puff of felt and foam. “Sorry! He just really loves...birds?”
“You’re a menace,” Yamaguchi mutters, hiding his laugh as Haru gets a fist bump from the mascot while security side-eyes them.
Osamu is carrying Haru on his shoulders now. The boy’s sticky hands are buried in his papa’s hair while chanting, “ROLLER COASTER! ROLLER COASTER! ROLLER COASTER!”
“You’re too short for the big ones,” Osamu says patiently for the twelfth time. “But we can ride the kid trains.”
“And you’re four,” Osamu said patiently.
“MY SPIRIT IS FOUR!”
Yamaguchi snorted, nearly dropping his drink.
“But Papa said roller coaster!” Haru points accusingly at Yamaguchi, who is halfway through a cheese corn dog, eyes wide with betrayal.
“I—I meant like in a few years!” he defends weakly. “Baby-size roller coasters! Baby ones!”
“Like Papa Osamu?” Haru giggles.
“Hey!” Osamu shouts.
Lunch
The churro is bigger than Haru’s entire head. And he is committed.
Yamaguchi wipes at the powdered sugar crusting the corners of their son’s lips as Osamu balances two drinks, a cartoon fan, a camera bag, and a slightly-sticky dinosaur plush.
“You okay, baby?” Tadashi murmurs, soft as cotton, brushing hair from Haru’s sweaty forehead.
Haru blinks up at him like he’s seeing God.
“I ate three fried chickens.”
“That was karaage,” Osamu says from behind his straw. “And you ate two.”
“I’m the Chicken Nugget King,” Haru declares, holding his churro like a scepter.
Tadashi snorts. Osamu sighs through his nose like a man at peace and on the edge of chaos, which sums up fatherhood perfectly.
They’re sitting on a bench near the pirate ship ride, pastel umbrellas spinning shadows across their feet. Osamu has one hand behind Tadashi’s back, absently tracing his thumb along the curve of his spine, grounding him.
Then it happens.
“YAMS?!”
Yamaguchi startles so hard he nearly drops his juice pouch. Haru looks up mid-bite and goes, “Huh?”
Hinata is running toward them at full speed with a sugar-high smile and the force of a natural disaster.
“YOU HAVE A BABY??!”
Behind him, Kageyama trudges with both hands in his pockets, looking like he’s mentally preparing for war.
“Hi…?” Tadashi says, because how does one react to being discovered with your husband and toddler in the wild?
“OH MY GOD.” Hinata is vibrating. “He’s so CUTE. What’s his name?! Are you serious?! Are you real?! Is this a dream?!”
“I’m Haru,” says the baby himself. “Are you my uncle?”
Hinata shrieks and spins in a full circle before collapsing into the bench beside him. “CAN I BE UNCLE SHOO??
Osamu shrugs. “Sure. You bring snacks?”
“No, but I brought Kageyama,” Hinata offers, as if that’s currency.
Haru offers him a slightly licked churro.
Hinata cries a little.
Haru pokes at Kageyama’s shin. “You look grumpy like Papa when the food delivery’s late.”
Kageyama turns bright red.
Yamaguchi nearly folds over with laughter.
They’re all sitting together sharing shaved ice. Haru is now wearing Hinata’s sunglasses and sitting in his lap like he’s known him forever.
Osamu leans into Yamaguchi and murmurs, “Your friends are loud.”
“They’re volleyball champions.”
“They’re also trying to teach Haru how to yell ‘RECEIVE’ before he eats.”
“…Okay that’s fair.”
Yamaguchi grins as Osamu presses a kiss to his temple. Their son yells “RECEIVE!!!” and crams ice into his mouth.
Chaos. Laughter. Friends who never expected to run into each other like this.
But maybe it’s perfect this way.
45 minutes after...they get away from Hinata and Kageyama
Yamaguchi is holding two giant plushies (won by Osamu, of course—“I run a food business, I got aim”), a sweating juice box, and Haru’s hat, which has somehow become soaked in apple sauce.
Haru, now full of ice cream and betrayal from being denied the log flume, has taken to lying face-down in the grass and chanting, “I WANNA SEE THE DINOSAUR!”
Osamu, sitting cross-legged beside him with the exact same posture, echoes dramatically, “I WANNA SEE THE DINOSAUR!”
Yamaguchi chokes on a laugh. “You’re not helping.”
“Emotionally, I am,” Osamu says. “I’m validating his feelings.”
“You’re embarrassing me in front of the seagulls.”
Miraculously, they find the dinosaur.
It’s in the kiddie section—a towering animatronic t-rex that moves slowly and roars every few minutes. Haru is standing in front of it, mouth agape, eyes full of holy reverence.
“Is it...real?” he whispers, clutching Yamaguchi’s hand.
“No, sweetheart. But it’s pretty cool, huh?” Tadashi says softly, crouching down beside him.
Osamu snaps a photo of the two of them—Yamaguchi’s head tilted close, Haru reaching out, both of them lit by late afternoon sunlight and mechanical dino glory.
He sets it as his lock screen immediately.
💬 Meanwhile, in the Group Chat
[Group Chat: 🏐 Trash Babies United]
[1 IMAGE: Yamaguchi holding Haru while Osamu is tying the kid’s shoelaces. Yama’s in dad-mode, sunglasses on his head, full Disney-princess-smile. Haru is eating a giant churro. Osamu is crouched, smirking like a smug husband.]
Hinata: GUYS
Hinata: THEY HAVE A BABY
Hinata: A. WHOLE. BABY.
Hinata: YAMAGUCHI HAS A BABY
Hinata: A FRECKLED BABY WITH EMOTIONS
Kuroo: Is this code? Are you high?
Kenma: no wait. he’s serious. i zoomed in. that’s a baby.
Akaashi: Why do I feel like we just missed the plot twist of the decade?
Tanaka: AAAAAAAH YAMS IS A DAD???
Suga: 🥹🥹🥹 I knew he’d be a soft parent
Tsukishima: You guys are pathetic.
Tsukishima: He’s four.
Tsukishima: You’ve already missed the birthday party.
Tsukishima: I was there. I’m the godfather.
Everyone: …WHAT
[Tsukishima uploads blurry photo of newborn Haru wrapped in yellow blanket. Osamu is asleep on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. Haru is screaming.]
Tsukishima: Nov 2021. Don’t be stupid next time.
📞 Four Years Ago – The Atsumu Incident
Osamu taps the screen, pacing.
It’s 2:13 a.m.
He should wait.
He doesn’t.
Osamu: “‘Tsumu, you up?”
Atsumu (voice hoarse): “Did ya kill someone or get married.”
Osamu: “Tadashi and I adopted a baby.”
…
“Dumbass. Me ‘n Yama—we’re gonna be dads.”
Atsumu (distant thud): “I just dropped my phone on my face.”
Then, a screech: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GONNA BE DADS?!”
Atsumu: “Sam. SAM. SAM WHAT THE ACTUAL—I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW YOU ABSOLUTE—!"
Osamu pulled the phone away from his ear. “Would ya lower yer voice—”
“YOU JUST—YOU WENT AND ADOPTED A WHOLE BABY AND DIDN’T TELL ME? ME?! YOUR TWIN?!”
“I am telling you. Now. Keep it quiet, will ya?”
“I CAN’T JUST—WHAT?!”
Osamu rolled his eyes. “You can visit if you calm down.”
“I’m buying a onesie right now. —IS HE CUTE??”
Osamu: “He’s ours. He’s in the NICU right now. Premature. But… he’s here.”
Osamu: “He has freckles. Like Tada. And ears like me.”
Atsumu: “I’M GONNA THROW UP I LOVE HIM.”
[Later that week]:
Osamu opens a box filled with:
– a baby-sized volleyball
– a bib that says “Serve First, Cry Later”
– a Miya-brand onesie with “DADDY’S DOUBLE TROUBLE” in gold foil
– and a letter that just says:
"I WILL BE THE BEST UNCLE. I WILL LEARN TO BRAID HAIR. IDK IF HE HAS HAIR. I WILL LOVE HIM REGARDLESS. — 'TSUMU"
Yamaguchi cries over it for ten straight minutes.
Present Day – Nightfall
They make it home just before sundown.
Haru’s asleep in his car seat with half a dinosaur cookie in his hand and one shoe missing.
Tadashi carries him in carefully. Osamu follows with the bags, then shrugs off his jacket and takes over the pajama mission.
Later, with Haru nestled between them in bed, clutching his new plush and murmuring about how he “married a penguin,” Yamaguchi leans into Osamu’s chest.
“You’re so calm,” he says, voice low.
“You’re so good at this,” Osamu murmurs back. “All of it. Even when he throws fries at birds and calls strangers grumpy.”
“He is the Chicken Nugget King.”
Osamu chuckles softly and brushes Tadashi’s bangs away.
Their phones ping across the room.
[Hinata]: I WANNA PLAN HARU’S BIRTHDAY
[Kenma]: i bought him a switch. no one stop me.
[Suga]: he’s my godson now too. i’m declaring it.
[Akaashi]: Can I read him bedtime stories. please.
[Bokuto]: I WANNA TEACH HIM TO YELL.
[Kuroo]: I will give him my collection encyclopedia rn!! [Tsukishima]: You all are late. I’m his favorite.
Osamu snorts. Tadashi groans.
Haru snores in the middle, sticky and soft and safe.
“I love our chaos,” Tadashi mumbles.
“Me too,” Osamu whispers, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Me too.”
“Fun day,” Osamu said quietly, reaching over to brush hair from Yamaguchi’s face.
Yamaguchi smiled sleepily. “He didn’t throw up this time.”
“Progress.”
Osamu kissed Yamaguchi’s temple.
Osamu added, “Let’s never tell him who taught him the phrase ‘My spirit is four.’” (It was Atsumu)
Yamaguchi grinned. “Deal.”
Photo Gallery on Osamu’s Phone
Haru squishing his face against an ice cream cone.
Tadashi and Haru holding matching balloons, both wearing sunglasses like a team.
Osamu’s selfie with both of them passed out in the car, mouths open, hair messy, blissed out and exhausted.
A video of the t-rex roaring while Haru roars back louder, both dads laughing like they’ve never been happier.
Caption: My whole world. Even when it screams. 💛